#( with how they live change adapt etcetera )

[lightsinthesky]

My “in” to cultivating a meaningful relationship in the realm of spirituality was a deep dive into Buddhist principles and philosophies. I’m not a practicing anything. As I’ve said time and time again, my conception of God defies human understanding. I don’t subscribe to dogma or organized religion. If you do, great. That’s fine and you’ll receive no judgment from me.

With that said, one of the foundational principles I explored to great depth is the concept of impermanence.

It’s the empirical truth that nothing lasts “forever.” While we can argue about the concept of the soul, our imprint in time and space outside three dimensions, blah, blah, blah, from the vantage point of the way in which we, as human beings, experiencing time and life, nothing lasts permanently in a literal sense. Atomic decay. Life and death. Changing hearts and minds. Etcetera, etcetera…

This principle was key to me at the height of my suffering. Historically, one of my major catalysts for turning to alcohol as a form of self-medicating was to escape the “forever feeling” of misery. Often triggered by emotional events or existential crises, I would seek out anything and everything I could to alleviate the overwhelming sensation that I was trapped in pain and suffering forever. It is a wildly unrealistic, unhealthy, and just plain false self-delusion. No matter the duration, there is an end to suffering if we allow for it. And even more quickly if we seek it.

In the depths of my shit, this idea of impermanence was life-saving. In the context of joy, happiness, security, safety, comfort, and love, it is utterly, devastatingly terrifying. The double-edged sword of this concept is that it is equal parts relieving and comforting in times of duress or adversity, but it is a horror show in relation to the things we hold dear.

That said, the good news is that impermanence does not automatically equate to an impossibility for longevity or sustained emotional experiences. A dedicated partner for life can be real. Unconditional parental love exists for those of us fortunate enough. Loyal friendships are a staple of any socially capable individual. A dog’s unwavering (mis)understanding that you are the greatest thing in existence is something many of us have been blessed to experience.

There are ample “things” that can be sustained for life. Love, friendship, family, beliefs, behaviors. A lot. But there are many variables that contribute to whether or not these things can last. And even when they do, there is always a possibility, arguably more of a probability, that they will change and adapt over time. This change is in and of itself a form of the nature of this concept of impermanence. Nothing stays “fixed.” Some people fail to or choose not to change, yes. But the result of that is that their environments and experiences will continue to do so around them. The consequences of stunted growth catch up. And they fall further prey to their own self-inflicted misery. And the reinforcement of that is its own backwards trending form of change - the solidification of total bullshit taken as truth.

Every birth is a guaranteed death. And that sounds morbid, but its fundamental and unchanging truth gives power, worth, and beauty to each possibility for a life lived. Not everyone turns out to be a positive force in this world. That can’t be argued. There are monsters throughout history. But with the innocence inherent in each newborn, there exists the possibility for good.

We’re all going to die. It’s no secret. Many are terrified of this, but it’s true regardless of how we feel. Some seek comfort in religion or spirituality, others remain cynical and err towards nihilism. Whatever path you choose, it’s irrelevant to the fact that our mortality remains a fundamental truth of our existence.

So the key becomes cultivating a life of value and purpose, manifested from within. Whether that’s in accordance with beliefs, dogma, instruction, desire, service to others, love, or all of the above, it all materializes inside of us from what we accept and choose to believe in and practice.

So with that self-knowledge, or at least the pursuit of it, we seek out things that align with this. And many of those comforts come in forms that affect us in emotionally profound ways, both positive and negative, wanted and unwanted. And each of these experiences, regardless of how we choose to characterize it, is rooted in the fact that it is not “forever.” It will come, we will live it, it will cease. This applies to literally all things by virtue of how we experience time.

“Ok, Justin, so everything is temporary, so what?”

Well, exactly. So what? The best application of the principle outside of a simple recognition of its truth is that, because we characterize things as “good” and “bad” (and in between), it allows for us to cultivate gratitude for the good, use it as evidence that goodness can (and will) occur, and that pain, suffering, and anything “bad” can (and will) be overcome whether through time or effort or both. There is thanks to be given for the good and strength and lessons to be gleaned from the bad. It’s all in service to our forward trajectory as spiritual beings.

It doesn’t do much to alleviate that longing for sustained stability. Because it’s all always in a flux. And that can be maddening. Which is where I believe the importance of establishing pillars of longevity is critical. For me, it’s for sure a degree of self-love and awareness, coupled with the cultivation and maintenance of extremely important relationships. I used to be such a loner by nature. I’d socialize and have a great time and then disappear in hibernation to recover from the degree of effort it took me to simply engage with the world. It was exhausting. But I don’t seek that anymore except for intermittently, taken as needed. No more daily doses. I can’t waste my time in isolation. Solitude can be healing and will always remain a much needed part of my experience, but isolation is my spiritual decay.

The short and extremely cliche sounding way to characterize this concept in the context of what I seek, believe in, and how I choose to live is that it makes every moment more impactful. It doesn’t mean that laying on the couch all day is something to kick myself over. Sometimes I really do need that. But in instances of the peaks and valleys, it’s reassurance of an inevitability to overcome suffering and a sincere and profound gratitude for my blessings. Even gratitude for the peacefulness of the mundane.

Reality is as reality does. We have zero control. We have a degree of influence in certain respects, but in the grand scheme, we are specks. Grains of sand. And that’s honestly a load off. Cultivating a life lived in peace, service to others, shared experiences, and love is pretty much the brunt of it. If I become the top-selling musical artist of all-time whose record stood for centuries, it would eventually be forgotten. And on a long enough timeline, centuries would be a speck. Nothing lasts forever. We can’t imprint ourselves into relevance beyond the context of the time in which we physically exist. No guarantees. So with that comes a need for appreciation, otherwise we can easily succumb to insanity.

I believe that every human life has value. How each of us chooses to wield that value and influence is not up to me. But I know what I believe in and I know that it aligns with being in service to others and creating comfort, security, trust, and joy. Love is really the crux of everything. It’s that one tried and true security blanket we strive for in life. And despite the myriad obstacles, it lies in wait for all of us.

So snuggle up, motherfucker, and go get some of that lovin’ you deserve.

#recovery #impermanence #life

[202206741dci2022]

A Doll's House by Henrik Ibsen

I recently watched ‘Center Players’ adaptation of A Doll’s House by Henrik Ibsen via YouTube. This play has been reviewed by many throughout the decades, so why not bring my opinion to the table? Disclaimer: Spoilers ahead. Although, I do question how much a play over a hundred years old can be spoiled.

This three-act play follows Nora, a housewife who becomes frustrated with her belittling husband and her monotonous role in society. Ibsen’s radical ending and heartrending journey to discovering identity under the constraints of 19th-century society is still applicable to modern audiences. Watching this production made me question the extent to which our society has truly changed over the past 144 years.

[09:16] Center Players Present: A Doll's House Full Play

This production does not align perfectly with Ibsen’s stage directions of the living room; for example, there is no sofa. The room is still identifiable as that of a middle-class family in the 19th century with rocking chairs and mounted paintings, although it is not specifically Norwegian. This lack of precision in the setting means the play was successfully relevant to an audience with vaguely similar homes. A key feature of realism is having realistic sets so the audiences can be, as Egil Törnqvist states ‘invited to mirror itself in what was happening on stage’ (1995:75) and Ibsen was the father of realism. It should be noted that the costumes further determine the setting. The 19th century was a time Victoria and Albert Museum claims to be internationally ‘renowned for its corsets, bonnets, top hats, bustles, and petticoats’ (2016), which the characters can be seen wearing in this production multiple times. By not modernising the set and costume we can understand how radical Nora’s actions in the play's final scene appear to Torvald, who holds conservative views of the role of women in his society. Of course, this 2015 production does not have the same effect on the modern audience as Ibsen intended due to its historical setting and our advancement as a society. Yet, we understand the impact upon reflection of history.

This play is set in one room, the living room. Here, Ibsen is using staging to reflect the confinement and restrictions obstructing 19th-century women. I also find it fascinating that the title of the play is ‘A Doll’s House’. Often, when playing with dolls, we don’t imagine them to be concerned with outer world affairs. Similarly, by staging the play within one room we believe it is normal to see Nora only in this space of domesticity where she fulfils Torvald’s, and society’s, expectations of her as a woman. Throughout the play, we understand that Nora’s character is not as one-dimensional as she seems. Yet, it isn’t until the end of the play that she escapes this room and therefore society’s expectations of her. I think the company’s ability to replicate this staging is effective for modern audiences who also struggle with their identity and feel restricted in a relationship or line of work etcetera.  

[02:10:09] Center Players Presents: A Doll's House - Full Play

Act 3 is particularly conflict-ridden with Torvald finding out about Nora’s forgery of her father’s signature, which afforded her the money she needed to save Torvald’s life, in the letter from Krogstad. The central conflict begins when Torvald says ‘no man would sacrifice his honour for the one he loves’ which is an implication of the patriarchal society; he fears societal backlash and judgement. Key themes in this play are sexism and identity as Nora risked her social integrity for Torvald, yet he refuses to do the same due to his sex and the societal positioning of men in the 19th century. Once Krogstad returns Nora’s bond Torvald begins to talk as he has throughout the play, belittling his ‘skylark’ (2018:15). Interestingly, Nora is the one to hold the floor in their conversation when they sit down together which was probably rare of a woman in 19th century mixed-sex conversation due to the imbalance of power between genders. She is calm whilst Torvald worries about their marriage and is unable to comprehend her actions. This is likely because she has had an inner conflict for a long time and by now has mentally separated herself from him and their relationship already while Torvald has been living in ignorance of their marriage. He does not understand that there is more to marriage than intimacy, such as being able to discuss serious matters; he becomes almost aphasic when Nora changes her clothes and wishes to leave.

The critical moment of anagnorisis is when Nora acknowledges that she and Torvald don’t truly know each other at all. For example, she had to hide from him the work she was so proud of for fear of what he might think of her. Ibsen is praised for his proto-feminism and identification of the complexity of women’s working lives by Joan Templeton: ‘no other work insists so explicitly on the hypocrisy, waste and sheer stupidity of isolating women from the work of the world’ (1996:23). This play forced audiences to question the value of their own identity and happiness. It continues to be a renowned marker of proto-feminist theatre.

[02:06:04] Center Players Presents: A Doll's House - Full Play

Throughout this scene Nora and Torvald stand apart until Torvald pushes the stereotypical role of women upon Nora, standing closer to her to intimidate her. Mahaffey suggests that Nora and her children do not ‘have the power of autonomous movement’ in Torvald’s eyes, as shown by his desire to subdue her: ‘this makes it impossible for them to … change or grow’ (2010:57). Here, Ibsen recognises the inadequate insistence on the identity and role of women being purely reproductive and nurturing. Mahaffey’s interpretation also recognises the restrictions placed on children; Torvald believes he has control over everything in the house which means that their journeys of self-discovery are impeded.

Perhaps the most passionate stage direction in the play is the iconic door slam. Mangan, quoted in Vorlicky’s book review, states that the door slam was ‘a defining moment in the gender debates of nineteenth-century middle-class culture’ (2005:335). This signifies Nora’s grasp on her future, independence, and therefore identity. For once she has control over her actions rather than being ‘played with’ by her father and husband.

In conclusion, this is a radical play with profound morals and societal issues addressed and performed by an actress with a commanding stage presence. This company successfully transforms a homely domestic space into a tense restrictive territory. I believe that Ibsen’s A Doll’s House will forever stand the test of time in order to stop history from repeating itself and justify how far prevailing beliefs have come.

Bibliography

CenterPlayersNJ (2015) Center Players presents: A Doll's House - full play, [Video]. Available online: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sr3nw7CZvO8&list=PLsXzRh5NMSfUGfmtmZVxdWOzWoxvwkMwU&index=3 [Accessed 18/3/2023].

Ibsen, H. (2018) A Doll’s House. Great Britain: Amazon.

Mahaffey, V. (2010) Portal to forgiveness: a tribute to Ibsen’s Nora. South Central Review, 27(3), 54-73.

Templeton, J. (1996) The death of chivalry: masculine and feminine in ‘A Doll’s House’. Ibsen News and Comment. 16, 23-25.

Törnqvist, E. (1995) Ibsen, A Doll’s House (1989). Between stage and screen: Ingmar Bergman directs. Amsterdam: Amsterdam University Press, 69-80.

Victoria and Albert Museum (2016) 19th-century fashion. Available online: http://www.vam.ac.uk/page/0-9/19th-century-fashion/#:~:text=The%20fashion%20of%20the%2019th,the%20back%20of%20the%20silhouette. [Accessed 23/3/2023].

Vorlicky, B. (2005) Review of Staging Masculinities: History, Gender, Performance, by Michael Mangan. Theatre Journal, 57(2), 334-336.

[endexe]

Okay, so this is an important, messy note to keep in mind when it comes to interacting with Zero is regardless of how close your muse are with Zero, there is still a high chance that he will end up hurting them one way or another.

Not only Zero have difficulty understanding how his actions and words may impact others exactly because he IS an eldritch monster designed to create chaos and pain to “ help “ others see the warning signs in what appears friendly, one of the things he represent is how being innocent and unaware will usually bring dangerous situations that could’ve been easily avoided if it weren’t for the lack of experiences and knowledge, but also, he is TOO curious to the point he will do harmful things to fulfil his curiosity, wanting to know what hurts them and how much they are provoked by it.

It can be something small like stomping on your muse’s feet out of no where, to stealing and keeping their most valuable item, to even worst such as betraying them. Also, having to be ordered by the World to these things with threats given can also be a reason why he commits them, but he doesn’t understand why would his actions / words hurt someone and how they do because no matter how much he interacts with humanity, more than any other Arcanists, he is still not a human being.

He will still even consider your muse his friend despite what he had done to them and he’d be genuinely confused and hurt if they react to his presence negatively and / or choose to harm him in return, not connecting your muse’s intentions / reactions with what he had done that would prompt them to have them. It’s something Zero needs A LOT of time and space to fully grasp the concept of sympathy and whatnot.

#( oh God do I really need to go over with the subject of murders with Zero???....... ) #( I just??? I think. Zero doesn't usually kill unlike most other Arcanists ) #( on purpose when he have only really killed people by ACCIDENT ) #( unless he did while experiencing extreme emotion like rage which happens rarely ) #( he DOES kill out of self defence or to defend those who are close to him ) #( BUT it's not exactly because he likes them but mostly because he's just??? so curious and fascinated ) #( with how they live change adapt etcetera ) #( and he have this mindset that having to continue living is worst than being dead so ) #( he's just curious to see how long can they live before life fully breaks them apart ) #( but relating to that entire post itself ) #( yeah like???? Zero sometimes hurt Noble and Grim in the end and Grim's extremely spiteful and bitter over that ) #( but Noble's really trying to be patient with him as she can see how Zero is from a group that never grasps the concept of ) #( kindness and sympathy exactly like Grim ) #( I just??? I don't know what I'm saying anymore lmfao but just something to keep in mind ) #( no matter how much I make him so... uwuwuwuwu he's still an extremely dangerous and unpredictable individual ) #tbt #( Zero is still a very new character so I'm not one hundred percent certain with everything that I had thought of him so far ) #( but yeah! hopefully I can try to reword this whole thing better ) #( once I write with him and think about him more ) #( ugh the way Zero gives me a big headache I'm so dsgsdgds... )

[0zzysaurus]

SPOILERS FOR THAT FIC THAT DOESNT EXIST YET!!

Notes were written in March:

OKAY so, very VERY quick summary:

- Mac and Munk are supposed to work as a coalition, but Macavity wants more power over the tribe and Munk won't give it to him

- Mac has been establishing a clan without Munk knowing about it on the side: This is where he picks up Bombalurina and Alonzo from the streets

- Jerrie is found trespassing on Macavity's territory after losing all his siblings, and he kind of has nowhere else to go - so he falls in with that group. Macavity spends a lot of time manipulating him.

- Demeter and Rumpleteazer (who I HC as Etcetera's older sister) are somewhat sympathetic to Macavity, making them more vulnerable to his persuasions

- Grizabella is mother to all three of the brothers, but is more sympathetic to Macavity because she thinks hes a stronger leader than Munkustrap. She works in the shadows with Macavity to establish his clan.

- A confrontation happens at the ball (the first ball Tugger takes part in and has his coming-of-age dance at), which leads to a divisive split occurring between some of the tribe members; Tugger subsequently feels guilty over the divide believing it was his fault

- Eventually, the coalition completely breaks down, and Macavity leaves - convincing Rumpleteazer and Demeter to come with him

- Once they're at Mac's clan, Demeter is quickly introduced to the rest of his harem and is expected to play along. Bombalurina defends her when she denies Macavity's advances and is swiftly punished for it, but eventually Demeter falls in line and accepts the treatment as something she just has to endure.

- Rumpleteazer is too feisty and utterly refuses to be part of Macavity's harem, and so he gives her to the henchcats, expecting them to sort of just have their way with her and dispose of her - turns out, Teazer is very headstrong and quickly adapts into a really valuable asset

- When she joins the henchcats, she meets Jerrie and the two kind of hit it off as friends, Teazer is actually quite protective of Jerrie, because she sees how often he's thrown about by Macavity - she's the one who ultimately convinces him to stand up for himself and helps to build his confidence. She’s ultimately the only true friend he’s ever had until this point who has never wanted to get anything out of him.

- Grizabella kind of acts as a sort of… I dunno like a “mothering” figure to Macavity’s harem? She has a complex relationship with Demeter and Bombalurina. both of them remind her of herself. She resents Bomba for her boldness and independent nature, but kind of empathises with Demeter. She cant really explain it herself but that's just how she feels

- Alonzo and Bomba look out for each other a lot, and do a lot of behind the scenes reconnaissance for Macavity. Alonzo discovers that Mac has plans to torch the junkyard, and Bomba tells Rumpleteazer about it because she knows Teazer’s younger sister still lives there. This spurs on Teazer’s desire to escape even more.

- Demeter also finds out that she's pregnant, and it's the last straw for all of them that they have to get out of there, or else Dem's kid isn't gonna stand a chance at living a normal life. They no longer care what happens to them, their only goal now is to get Demeter and her child OUT of this hell.

- Grizabella is constantly talking down to them and treating them like shit, but when she and Demeter have a private conversation and she discovers demeter is pregnant, she tells her about a secret passage way in the underground that she can use to escape. Griz might be haughty and stubborn, but she doesn’t want to see Demeter’s child be subjected to the same abuse they go through every day.

Pre-Climax

- Griz doesn't expect the entire group to desert them though, and when she finds out that Dem, Bomba, Lonz, Jerrie, and Teazer ALL plan on escaping, she rats them out and almost gets them killed

- They do all escape tho, and go back to the Junkyard, whilst also letting Munk know what's going to happen so they can prepare for an attack

Climax

- When Munk and Mac finally fight - the ex-Macavity group prove themselves to the Junkyard by fighting him off alongside the other Jellicles.

Epilogue segment

- Obviously Munk adopts the role of being Jemima's father figure, and although he and Demeter don't become mates they still end up very close and he’s an important part of Jemima’s life

- When Jemima finally gets older, she’s able to see how badly the entire experience left her family. Sometimes she’s afraid that she’s just a lingering, painful reminder of the horrible time her mother had there.

- Jerrie has the hardest time integrating out of everyone, because he's never lived in this sort of safe community before - but Teazer is a big support for him - he also gets on really well with Cettie as a sort of brother-in-law figure.

- Lonz obviously falls in love with Munkustrap because he has authority figure issues and Munk helps him understand what love is supposed to look like

- And Bomba and Tugger become proper besties

also, this for me is my set up on why Grizabella is hated and not accepted back. Yes, Demeter and Rumpleteazer left too, but they were young, hell, Teazer was barely an adult, they were manipulated and when they *did* come back, they'd brought back vital information with them and saved the tribe.

Grizabella ratted them out, tried to get them killed. She left, and only returned after Mac himself threw her out of the tribe for telling them about the escape tunnel in the first place.

Everyone rejects her, hates her. Except for Demeter.

Demeter is one of the only cats to EVER show a hesitant acceptence of Griz at the beginning. She clearly WANTS to touch Griz, to look her in the eye, to THANK her for telling her where they could escape, but remembering what she did... she just cant do it. (Bomba seems to sympathise with Demeter’s conflicted emotions - and never forces her away from Grizabella. She knows that Demeter is capable of making her own decision here, but she doesn’t want her to be in danger.)

Without Grizabella’s initial help, they could all still be at the compound - Jemima could have been born into it. Their lives could be entirely different and much worse. Ultimately, regardless of if Griz changed her mind, without her help they'd all probably be dead. That’s how Demeter sees it, and while the others struggle to come to terms with that - it’s her thought process.

(Last part is a screenshot for convenience)

#fanfiction #cats #cats musical #tw #abuse mentions #work in progress #0zzysaurus #notes #spoilers

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Speaking about disability in fiction, would you say Toph from a:tla is one of the best written disabled character? Is there anything that could've been improved about her character?

DEAR FUCKING GOD do I love Toph.  I would humbly submit to have Lady Toph “The Blind Bandit” “The Runaway” “Greatest Earthbender of All Time” “Inventor of Metalbending” Beifong harvest my organs to achieve eternal life if such a thing were possible.  There are a ton of things that Avatar: the Last Airbender does really well when characterizing Toph, and a few I wish they’d done differently.  [PLEASE NOTE: I am nondisabled, so if I err, please tell me so.]

Is she one of the best-written disabled characters?

She’s certainly a damn cool character whose disability informs but does not define her.  I can’t really say if she’s “the best” or one of, because I haven’t read everything, but I can say that I really like her.

First of all, her story is intersectional AS FUCK.  Toph’s gender, her disability, and her social class are so inextricably linked that there’s no analyzing any single element in a vacuum.  She’s all about being tough and independent.  Partially that’s about being underestimated because of her disability.  Partially that’s about being commodified because of her gender.  Partially that’s about being privileged due to her upper-class upbringing.  All three interact to inform her identity.

“Tales of Ba Sing Se” shows that blindness bars Toph from certain aspects of femininity — she can’t perform the traditional motions of making herself up, attracting young men, being pretty and delicate — which causes her to embrace a more accessible masculine identity.  “The Runaway” shows that Toph enjoys femininity as well as masculinity, but that she struggles to build nurturing relationships when she’s concerned with appearing weak, and that that sometimes leads her to cross ethical boundaries.  “The Chase” and “Bitter Work” are all about how Toph values her independence above all else — because she’s had to struggle against her gender and disability influencing others’ perceptions, but also because she’s had the privilege to avoid helping others due to her social class.  In “The Ember Island Players” she loves being represented by a big tough strong man, but she also clearly associates masculinity with power in a way that becomes troubling when contrasted with Aang’s horror at being played by a woman.  Etcetera.

Even the whole Earth Kingdom’s role as a sort of middle rung of imperialism – less powerful than the Fire Nation, more powerful than the Water Tribes and Air Nomads — informs both the relative strictness of its gender roles and the ability of individual Earth citizens to subvert those roles.  Toph’s identity, like the identities of the other Avatar characters, is inextricably linked to her position in society.

Secondly, Toph has a lot of the features of a complex and agentic character, and her disability is neither ignored nor centralized.  She’s often right, as when she becomes the first person to trust Zuko and the only person capable of making Aang an earthbender.  She’s often wrong, as when she tries to justify theft with a “they started it” argument or belittles Sokka for being a non-bender.  She’s often somewhere in between, as when she chooses to let Appa get taken by sandbenders in order to protect her friends or gets into screaming matches with Katara over matters of procedure.

There’s also the fact that Toph interacts with certain environments differently based on her blindness, drawing attention to (in)accessible aspects of those environments the others wouldn’t have necessarily noticed.  She finds sand and wood flooring inconvenient, she hates navigating water and ice, and she initially avoids walking on metal.  Although she’s not a big fan of flying, she mostly adapts as long as her friends actually remember that she can’t navigate when they’re on Appa’s saddle.

When conflicts do occur with the environment, Toph puts the onus on the environments and on other people to adapt or help her to adapt.  She’s amused and annoyed when Sokka tries to fake correspondence between her and Katara, or stupidly asks why she doesn’t like libraries.  She rips the bottoms off of her shoes.  She calls attention to her inability to do things like scan the ground while flying when her friends are at risk of forgetting.  She plays into others’ assumptions to try and get onto ferries or get away with breaking the law.

Another thing I like: the art style for Toph avoids the trap of “draw sighted person, change eye color, call it a day.”  She doesn’t turn to face people most of the time when she’s talking to them, but also doesn’t seem totally clueless as to their relative locations.  She gets the lay of the land by stomping her feet or pressing a hand against the ground, not turning to “look” in various directions.  She doesn’t bother to keep her hair from blocking her eyes, because her bangs don’t interrupt any sight lines.  She’s neither a comically blind character who apparently can’t navigate at all with sound or touch, nor a dramatic “blind” character whose every action comes off as those of a sighted character.  Toph repeatedly mentions that she doesn’t get the value in sight, clapping back at the assumption that of course she’d want to be nondisabled.

[Image description: A screenshot from “The Chase,” which shows Toph shouting at Katara, with her face turned away from Katara.  Toph is pointing in anger, making it clear that she’s addressing Katara and that she knows Katara’s location relative to herself based on Katara’s voice.]

One last small but important victory for Avatar: it passes the Fries Test.  It has two or more disabled characters — I can explain why Zuko counts as disabled if anyone’s not sure — who survive to the end of the story without being cured, and who have their own narratives rather than existing primarily to educate nondisabled characters.  As a bonus, they have at least one conversation with each other about something that isn’t disability-related.  The Fries Test is meant to be a minimum standard for representation, much like the Bechdel Test, but it’s still nice to know that Avatar passes.

[Image description: A screenshot from “The Ember Island Players,” which shows Zuko and Toph sitting on the floor in a hallway of the theater, talking about the play and about Zuko’s uncle.]

Is there anything that could’ve been improved about her character?

If I ruled the world, or at least the Avatar writers’ room, I’d start with two changes.  One’s small-ish, one’s big and controversial.

The small-ish change: tweak Toph’s narrative to make her earthbending super-abilities less directly counter to her blindness.  As it is, she has shades of a superpowered supercrip: a disabled character from SF whose superpower primarily acts to nullify their disability, thereby giving them the lived experience of a nondisabled person for most or all of the narrative.  Toph is definitely not an egregious example — she’s not Daredevil, who can use his superpowers to read handwritten papers, navigate unfamiliar environments, “feel” colors, detect tiny gestures, and shoot guns.  She does embody experiences with blindness like disorientation when flying and frustration with hanging posters.  She just also has several instances of not experiencing blindness when she (as she puts it) “sees with earthbending.”  I’m not sure what that tweak would look like, precisely, but I’d like to see one all the same.

The bigger change: I’d cast a different voice actor.  Jessie Flower is, based on what little I can find on Wikipedia or IMDB, not blind or visually disabled.  Disability rights activists are right now fighting hard against the trend of “cripping up,” wherein nondisabled actors use mimicry or makeup to pretend to have disabilities on TV and in the movies.  Avatar doesn’t go that far, because it doesn’t have Jessie Flower onscreen in (for instance) contacts that mimic blindness.  However, it nevertheless does not cast a blind actor for the role.  The issue here is that disabled actors are almost never allowed to play nondisabled roles… and disabled actors are also almost never allowed to play disabled roles either.  By failing to find a blind voice actor, the show denied that opportunity to a less-privileged talent.

The Guardian compares the issue to the way that cis actors of the wrong gender are too-often cast in trans roles, men used to play female characters onstage, and white actors used to play black characters in American movies.  I never know how much those comparisons make sense, because among other things they completely ignore intersections of those identities.  But I also think that it’s sometimes the best way to help people understand why excuses like “but it’s haaaaaaarrd to find blind female actors of Asian descent” don’t hold water.

And here’s where I go from “slightly controversial” to “extremely controversial” and might have to enter Witness Protection.  Avatar is getting a live-action adaptation in a few months.  I predict that it will cast a nondisabled actor to play Toph.  And I predict that the same voices which (rightly!) raised such a cry against “racebent” white actors playing Aang and Katara will be completely silent on the topic of “abilitybent” actors playing Zuko and Toph.  I’m saying this on Tumblr partially to get this statement out there:

I am an Avatar: the Last Airbender fan who will ONLY support the live-action show if it casts disabled actors to play disabled characters.

I’m saying it partially because I hope to be proven wrong, either because a blind actress will be cast as live-action Toph or at the very least because Avatar fans will object when a sighted actress is cast.  I’m also saying it because I think that fans can and should protest responsibly when marginalized voices are erased by beloved works of fiction.  Will casting a blind actress require more “work” to make the set accessible?  Probably.  Will casting a blind actress perhaps necessitate more CGI for fight scenes than using a sighted one?  Maybe.  Will it be worth it to cast a blind actress anyway, so that a girl with the lived experience of Toph can portray her on screen and actually get the chance to break into an industry that bars most blind girls from participating?  YES.

#toph beifong #avatar #atla #avatar the last airbender #nothing to do with animorphs #disability studies #disability representation #blindness #atla criticism #intersectional feminism #long post #atla meta #anonymous #asks

[andrew-lefrancois]

Week 1

How would I define social media?

Well, I feel like that's not an easy question to answer. Social media itself is so much and is forever changing. Social media is a group of platforms that connects the world. It allows us to know what people are doing around the world live. It is a place where people can consume information and entertainment, post information, and all kinds of content. Social media such as Facebook and Instagram allow us to stay in touch with family and friends. Social media has evolved so much that you can even make a living off of producing content. In short, I would Define social media as a bunch of platforms where people can post and consume information connecting the whole world to one big community.

How would I characterize myself as a social media user?

I have been using different forms of social media since I was in my late Elementary years on Facebook. Once I reached Middle school, I had more freedom and had many different types of social media such as Instagram, Snapchat, Youtube, etcetera. I would say I'm pretty well-versed in getting around in most of the social media platforms. But I use social media mainly for the consumption of entertainment and information. Wall I post pictures and some info about me and my life on social media here and there is not the central part of why I use it.

What do I consider to be my strengths in my understanding of social media? What are my challenges?

I'm pretty good at understanding and adapting to new features and rules that different platforms add to their sites. I'm also really good at knowing what's going on and what trends are popular. I'm also quick to understand when I post things on specific platforms, whether it's going to work or not ( not that I'm a trendy person in the first place).

In the social media world, I have difficulty finding what people are interested in what will grab their attention. I know that I don't get many views, likes, or comments on anything that I post, and I'm okay with that, but it is a challenge for me to get people's attention with what I have to offer. Again I don't set out to be a famous person on social media; I have most social media to contact my friends.

What is it that I want to get out of this class and beyond (related to social media)?

I want to get out of this class is to know how to entice people to attract people more to what I post what I have to offer. Not just for myself and my type supposed but for also business types of post. I have joy in editing pictures and videos, and I feel like if I can know what entices people more what helps people be attracted to certain things, I can take that information and put it into what I'm working on. I would be able to do particular advertisements for the company I work at ( or any company I work with or for in the future)

#profsusifall2021

[cayranwilde]

Unpopular opinion rant…

All CATS fans, please keep an open mind when reading this.

So, I have seen a lot of negativity from fans surrounding the CATS film by Tom Hooper from the CGI to the choice of actors to the lack of a substantial representation of certain characters in the film, and finally, to the lack of certain characters completely.

Let me start by saying that the 1998 Cats film is NOT CANNON.

I am 30 years old. I first saw and fell in love with the 1998 film when I was 9 years old. I watched that film so much that I wore it completely out. I had the CD (still do) and memorized every song and dance move. Between 1998 and the present date, I have seen CATS live and in person 8 different times. What I have learned over these last 21 years is that every performance is different - WAS different. Every character changed, and even relationships between the characters were portrayed differently.

For example, lets look at Munkustrap and Demeter. In the 1998 film, they seem to be portrayed as a couple. However, in 2 of the 8 shows I’ve seen, Munkustrap has been paired with Cassandra, and once with Bombalurina while Demeter has been paired with Alonzo. Munkustrap and Demeter aren’t cannon – neither are popular pairings such as Rum Tum Tugger and Bombalurina or Mistoffelees and Tugger, or Mistoffelees and Cassandra, etc. Get the picture? Just because it was hinted to in the 1998 film doesn’t make it finite. Of course, everyone has their own preferred pairings and relationships, and that is wonderful – spectacular even, because that is the beauty of the musical. Everything is left to interpretation.

Just because your favorite pairing may not be portrayed in the 2019 film isn’t reason to get angry and “hate” something you haven’t yet seen.

The same goes for characters.

In the 1998 film, you have characters such as Electra, Etcetera, Asparagus Jr., and Exotica. In the 8 times I have seen the show live, I have only seen Electra in ONE of those performances. The others were not in the stage productions and were only mentioned in the “Naming of Cats.” Might I also note that there are some characters in adaptations in Europe and Russia that were never in the 1998 film nor portrayed in any North or South American adaptation, such as Gilbert, Noilly Pratt, Olivia, and Grumbuskin.

With that being said, I understand why some fans may be upset that characters like Electra and Etcetera are not in the 2019 film or have small, insignificant rolls (because yes, they are adorable and amazing characters) but if we’re being honest, they were never primary characters in the 1998 film, and therefore not necessarily needed.

The stage costumes are classic – I think we can all agree on that. They’re beautiful, and most of us when we picture CATS think wigs, leg warmers and leotards. I do, for one. However, let’s be realistic – the characters of CATS are humanoid felines. A lot of big time CATS artists found on DeviantArt, or who illustrate for the Jellicle Chronicles draw the characters as humanoid felines. This seems to be the route Tom Hooper decided to go, which if you want to create humanoid felines, CGI is about your only option. Yes, I would have LOVED to see the characters in actual costumes, but am I mad? No.  It is technology – it is growth.

Another uproar I have seen is the change in appearance and lack of screen time for Demeter. Firstly, with regards to Demeter’s coat color, please take the time too google the Gothenburg production of CATS. That is just one example of the show where they’ve completely revamped the character’s designs, and not just Demeter’s. I will say that it is unfortunate that she seems to not have more of a roll in the 2019 film, but with every adaptation of the show comes subtle or extreme changes.

But that is the absolute beauty of it all. Every good story changes throughout the years. How many adaptations of Peter Pan, the Jungle Book, and Scrooge have we all seen? Were any of them the exact same? No. You can’t expect a story to be retold without changes. That is not realistic. Stories change based on the generation that tell them, and the technology provided by that generation. To grow, you have to use the skills and tools you are given; so, if you are mad the 2019 movie won’t be the same as the 1998 film, then I am sorry, but you sound like the grumpy old man at the pharmacy that constantly repeats “back in my day” to the millennial cashier.

Lastly, all of the reviews I have read from last night’s premiere have been mostly positive. Critics have called the film magical, emotional, bewildering, fantastical and wild – all things I hope to experience when I go see the film on Friday. Do I still absolutely love the 1998 version? Yes, with all my heart. I hope to share it with my daughter when she is old enough to appreciate it. But, with that said, I thoroughly look forward to this movie and expect to experience the same magic and wonderment that CATS has and will always exude.

#cats movie #cats movie 2019 #cats 2019 #cats musical #cats the musical #unpopular opinion but I don't care #fan rant #andrew lloyd webber #CATS

[ruthfabre]

What would be our world look like without globalization?

We’ve been discussing the system created by globalization and I wonder what would our life look be like or what would be our world look like without globalization. What if there is no globalization at all? Perhaps, without globalization it would be closed system. I mean we would not know of what’s happening to our world and still ignorant the things around us. This also means no sharing of invention and discoveries. Where is the fun in there? Maybe the life way back is boring and not efficient to their work and productive. We would not have rich countries colonizing poor countries because rich countries would not know about the natural resources found in the poor countries. Overall, there would no categorization of poor and rich countries. There would be no need to form International organization like International Monetary Fund and World Bank as the relationship between countries would be nonexistence.

What is meant by globalization and how is it affected you personally?

According to Charles W. L. Hill “Globalization refers to the shift toward a more integrated and interdependent world economy”. Globalization has several facets, including the globalization of markets and the globalization of production. The globalization of markets refers to the merging of historically distinct and separate national markets into one huge global marketplace. Because of globalization it makes our life easier to sell our goods to other countries with no sweats at all and with a big amount. The globalization of production refers to the sourcing of goods and services from locations around the globe to take the advantage of national differences in the cost and quality of factors of production (such as labor, energy, land, and capital). Changes brought by globalization affected the human kind in many different ways, it could be positive or in the negative way. For me, it affects me in a positive way. I don’t seem to imagine myself without globalization. Why? Because of globalization it makes my life easier, easier for me communicate with my friends and family even I’m away and easier for me to find a job, to travel, and to build business. The invention of technology helps me a lot. The access of modern technology makes our life easier, faster and convenient. The internet helps me a lot, could it be educational purposes, entertainment and in gathering information. It opens doors of opportunities for me to explore and connect to different parts of the world. I am able to watch different movies from different countries and help me to adapt with their language and gain knowledge about their culture. With social media, I can connect with my friends and family who were far away. Even at this moment, where there is a pandemic we still can continue our studies through online and that is because of the invention of technology we can make things impossible to possible.

Among the main drivers of globalization which do you think has contributed more to the acceleration of globalization?

Two macro factors underlie the trend toward greater globalization. The first is the decline in barriers to the free flow of goods, services capital that has occurred since the end of World War II. The second factor is the technological change, particularly the dramatic developments in recent decades in communication, information processing, and transportation of technologies. For me, it’s the Technological Change that drives more the acceleration of globalization. Technological progress is the key driver of improvements in incomes and standards of living. But new knowledge and technologies do not necessarily develop everywhere and at the same time. Therefore, the way technology spread across countries is central to how global growth is generated and shared across countries.

The machines invented can now increases rate wherein the products are manufactured, as a result products can be made and supplied faster. Inventions of gadgets such as laptops, cellphones and etcetera allow as interacting with other people from all around the world. And that’s makes the technological change has contributed more in the acceleration of globalization.

Why do you think the global economy is in a constant state of change? Are there consequences or benefits on such changes?

The world are changing faster than before. With billions people hyper connected to each other in an unprecedented global network, it allows for an almost instantaneous and frictionless spread of new ideas and innovations . I think the reason why the global economy is always changing is because the invention of technology. We know that technology is constantly changing and advancing. As time goes on we use and rely on it more and more and less traditional methods. For example, 30 years ago when a student would write research papers they would rely solely on library books and interviews for their information. While students now, use the internet to find all the information they desire. It has completely changed how people do simple task and made complicated ones easier.

While technology can improve our life, the impact of technology in the environment has included the misuse and damage of our natural earth. These technologies have damaged our world in two main ways; pollution and depletion of natural resources.

In many ways globalization is good because globalization has created the world that makes us easier to be connected and share ideas. With or without globalization, there would be problems and suppression of people who think they are not capable. There would be division in the society as we have today.

[aweirdkindofyellow]

Here I Am, There You Are Pt. 14

Jack Barakat x OC ‘Rachel has been best friends with Alex, Jack, Rian, and Zack since high school. What happens when one of them gets married?’

Part 14

I always missed the winters back in Baltimore. They were always perfect for nice and cozy moments. The perks of being LA was that it was always relatively warm, there was no snow on the roads, and the sun was usually shining. But how was that supposed to feel normal? No matter how long I lived in that warmer climate, I grew up in the freezing cold, smashing the ice on my car windows. Luckily, I still had my parents who lived on the east coast and who gladly wanted me over for the festive period.

I was wearing a nice large comfortable knitted sweater, some nice warm white socks, and to combat how warm I was making myself, shorts. We were inside anyway, shorts were fully acceptable. Especially since I was sitting on the floor with Jack right next to the fireplace that was radiating heat. I was sitting in between his legs, which he had up, his arms wrapped around my body as I leaned into his chest.

My entire family was here. Ethan was to our left, also on the floor, but on a pillow and resting against the couch instead of a wall like Jack. My parents were sitting up on the couch, both with a glass of wine in their hands. Even Anna and her husband, Chris, were here, also sitting on the couch, but the other section. It really was a full house. We rarely got that anymore. It was something to celebrate, which was exactly what we were doing that evening. Ethan had come back for his Christmas break a week ago, Chris and Anna had arrived a few days ago, and now Jack and I were here as well.

I felt so content sitting there. Everything was just going well recently. Jack and I had not had a single regret about getting married. If anything, it made us even more affectionate. And we also got some great nights out of it. I had also gone through the process of changing my name, so I was now officially Rachel Barakat. It was on all my IDs as proof.

“Guys, we’ve got something we want to tell you,” Anna spoke up after there had been some silence.

She waited until she got all of us to look at her and was certain that she had everybody’s attention. Once she knew, she shared a look with Chris and smiled. I was fully expecting her to tell us that they were getting a dog or moving or something. Anna did like making things just a tad dramatic. It was just how she was and I had had my entire life to adapt to it.

But then she announced, “I’m pregnant!”

My eyes went wide and Jack shifted to sit up straighter. That definitely was a shock. Not because it was strange, just because I would have thought she would want to turn that into an entire spectacle and not just tell us with the use of some simple words. My mom gasped in excitement and started shedding a few tears. My dad was grinning brightly as well, not getting as emotional, but also definitely ecstatic.

“No way!” Jack was the first of us to respond.

“Congrats,” I added with a smile. But it felt different. I couldn’t really match the happiness at that moment. Not now, at least.

“That’s such a co–” Jack started, but I quickly slapped my hand over his mouth to stop him from finishing his thought.

Instead, I finally got over the hump and continued to gush over Anna and her news. “This is so exciting!”

Everybody only gave us a few confused looks. They were judgemental enough for me to drop my hand from Jack’s face, but not disgusted enough for me to try to play it off any further. Luckily nobody stopped to wonder what I was doing and kept congratulating Anna and fussing over her. That was the important part, making this moment about Anna.

But Jack had to ruin it.

“Rachel’s pregnant as well,” he blurted out, making all the eyes shift to us again.

“Jack!” I yelped and shifted to glare at him, forcing his arms off me.

“What?” He defended himself. “When else were you thinking of telling them now?”

I mean, he had a point. We initially had this whole plan to announce it. It included a picture frame that we were going to give my parents and the word ‘grandchild’. Nothing too big. We were going to tell everybody the next day, just give ourselves the first day to arrive, unpack, and get some rest. But if we were suddenly going to come with it the next day now, it wouldn’t have the same effect. It would be confusing because of Anna’s announcement and it would also seem like we were trying to one-up her. That definitely wasn’t the case.

“Oh my god!” Anna yelled in a high pitched voice and rushed over to my side, hugging me so tightly I nearly toppled over. “We’re both going to have babies at the same time!”

“I’m pregnant too!” Ethan decided to shout, wanting in on some of the action.

“I don’t know what you’ve been doing with Chase,” my dad laughed loudly, enjoying Ethan’s joke just a little too much, “but that is not how this works.”

“Wait, how far along are you?” Anna asked me, finally giving me some space and taking a glance at my stomach, ignoring the commotion Ethan had caused.

“Sixteen weeks.” I shrugged. I knew you couldn’t tell that I was pregnant yet. It only looked like I had gained a bit of weight, but even that was barely visible with the sweater I wore.

“What, really?” She looked taken aback as if expecting a whole different answer. “I’m only five weeks in.”

Even my mom looked shocked despite her elation. It was more of a ‘how dare you keep this amazing surprise from me’ kind of shock than a ‘what the fuck’ kind of shock. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

I wasn’t sure if I should answer truthfully, but I decided to go for it in the end. “I got pregnant like right after our wedding, but had a miscarriage at six weeks. We wanted to wait awhile before announcing it this time, just in case.”

“Oh���” Anna’s happiness started fading away.

“Don’t worry,” I took hold of her hand and gave it a quick squeeze, “it doesn’t happen to everyone.”

“You never told me about any of this.” My mom frowned.

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” I realised.

Honestly, it had never crossed my mind to call her back then. Jack and I worked through it together and were there for each other every step of the way. Yes, it was quite a sad point in our lives, but we also knew that things like that happened and that we’d get a second chance. We were just super lucky that that chance came so soon after. It had been such a happy surprise for us that it pulled us through our grief in no time. We really were lucky, and I knew others had such a hard time compared to us that I didn’t want to take it for granted.

“How does it feel to know you’re getting two grandchildren?” Jack changed the subject before the entire mood was ruined.

There was no need to feel sorry for us. We didn’t need to scare Anna. And we didn’t need my mom more worried about why I didn’t tell her instead of being happy that she was going to be a grandmother in a matter of months.

“I’m so excited, but I’m getting so old!” My mom replied with some laughter.

For the rest of the evening, Anna kept asking me questions about being pregnant as if I could answer them. Yes, I was further along than her, but I didn’t know shit either. I was taking things as they were coming. This was also my first pregnancy, I had no idea what was normal and what wasn’t. I didn’t know what to expect either. There were already huge differences between things my mom always told me about, the things she experienced in all three of her pregnancies, and the way I was experiencing things.

One of those things was cravings. My mom didn’t get them until she was over halfway along. I started getting them the day before I even took the pregnancy test that turned out to be positive. They would hit me at the weirdest of times, and they would hit me hard. Morning sickness, however, had not been ruining my days… yet.

Jack and I didn’t wait much longer until we went to bed. Although our biological clocks were still set on pacific time, and so it felt like it was three hours earlier than it actually was, we were still very tired. It’s what travelling and carrying-slash-creating another human being did to you. Jack practically experiences some symptoms with me, including the slap in the face that was fatigue.

Being tired and actually falling asleep, however, are two very different activities.

We got ready for bed and climbed in. Jack and I started the night off with some subtle cuddling, but as time passed and he fell asleep, he turned away from me. I laid there on my back with my eyes closed, hoping for the sleep to hit me. But it just never did. I tried and tried until another hour had passed. I contemplated what to do. The light in the hallway was still on, so there were others still awake. I had to do something, though.

“Jack?” I said out loud in my normal speaking voice, suddenly knowing exactly what it was that I needed.

He grumbled back some nonsense, obviously just woken by me.

“I can’t sleep,” I stated.

He turned around so he was facing me and shuffled closer. Although he was still half asleep, he started pressing kisses all over the side of my face. On my cheek, on my temple, just below my eye, etcetera. He then also slipped his hand underneath my shirt and slowly brushed his hand over my stomach in circles, still continuing his kisses. It was like the non-sexual version of initiating sex without aiming for sex.

“Just close your eyes and count down,” he mumbled and laid his head on my pillow, his slow breath grazing my skin.

“No,” I sighed and shook my head, “that’s not working.”

All he could do was hum in response.

“You’re going to hate me,” I told him, still not bothering to lower my voice.

He nuzzled his nose against my ear. “I could never.”

“I really need pizza with a shit-ton of black olives,” I confessed.

“Black olives?”

“Yeah. I don’t know why, I don’t know what for. I’ve never liked them on pizza, but it’s just needed now.”

He groaned and turned to lay on his back, rubbing his eyes. “Where in the fuck did this craving come from?”

“Your cheese puff.” To anybody else, that wouldn’t have made sense. But we had started calling the baby cheese puff. It started as a joke when we were unsure about how to refer to it since it was the nickname I had once given Jack jokingly as well. Somehow it stuck this time.

“My cheese puff? We both did this.” He dropped his hands from his face and before I could even reply, he sat up. “Alright, olive pizza it is.”

I couldn’t stop the giddy grin on my face. The only thing better than getting food was getting food you were absolutely dying for. Jack regretfully got out of bed and sloppily reached around to put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. I swung my legs out of bed and got up as well, a lot more chipper and awake than him. Afterall, I wasn’t the one who was just rudely awakened for something as stupid as pizza with olives.

Jack grabbed his wallet and keys from the small vanity in my room and stuffed them in his pockets before pulling his phone from the charger as well. He followed closely behind me, looking for a place that would be close by and open right now while I left the room and went downstairs.

There were indeed still a few lights on and I soon found out the only people stil awake were Anna and my mom. They were still in the living room in slight darkness because the main lights were off, but the warm yellow toned standing lamps were still illuminating everything. It really was a nice warm cosy feeling. My mom and sister were just sitting there on the couch talking to each other, making me hope we were interupting anything. I needed that pizza too much to walk away.

“You guys are still awake?” My mom frowned as she heard us come down the stairs.

“Barely,” Jack grumbled with a jawn, going to the front door and forcing his shoes on.

He wasn’t mad at me in anyway, he was just exhausted and still in the process of properly waking up. It almost seemed like he was the one that was pregnant and would get so tired that he could barely function. I didn’t even wake him up frequently either, so there wasn’t much sleep he missed out on. He’d take every opportunity to nap with me when I felt like I needed one.

I just kissed his cheek to thank him as he put on his coat. “I can come with you.”

“No, it’s cold outside. I’ll be back in a bit.” He shook his head and pecked me on the lips before leaving the house.

Once the door closed, I was left the shrug and join Anna and my mom on the couch while I was waiting for him to return. They stayed silent for a while, staring me down as I sat down and pulled my legs up, making sure the large shirt I was wearing did still cover everything.

“Where’s he going?” my mom finally asked.

I started grinning, thinking about the food again. “He’s getting me pizza.”

“Didn’t I feed you enough?” Her tone had a hint of worry. Afterall, she didn’t know both Anna and I were pregnant when we had dinner, she could only be afraid that she didn’t make enough food.

“No, no,” I assured her, “I’m not hungry. I just really want pizza, I couldn’t sleep.”

“He’s getting you pizza…” Anna sighed, her face resting on her fist, causing her whole left cheek to be squished.

I raised my eyebrows at her, surprised by how upset she seemed. “What’s up with you? Pregnancy hormones or is something truly wrong?”

“I want Chris to get me pizza as well!” She groaned and slumped even more.

“You’ve also started getting weird cravings early on?” I was actually pretty excited that I wasn’t the only one experiencing them so early.

“No,” she scoffed and glared at me a little. “It’s just the thought that counts.”

“Okay, I’m confused.”

She threw down her arms in frustration, almost mad at me for not understanding her cryptic wording. “Jack goes out to get you pizza because you want some in the middle of the night while Chris isn’t even the tinniest bit excited!”

“I’m sure that isn’t true,” I shook my head. This seemed a lot more like pregnancy hormones. How did I know? I had moods exactly like this as well sometimes. “He might just need some time to process it, you’re only a few weeks in.”

She now suddenly seemed to get upset again. “Did Jack also take a while?”

I now regretted going down this path. I was only going to make things worse. But I also wasn’t going to lie about my relationship. “Well, no–”

She whined loudly.

“–but,” I continued, hoping to be able to reason with her, “we did talk about this for the longest time, even before we moved in together. This has been our plan for quite some time. After a few years of waiting, I’m sure it’s pretty difficult to be anything but excited. How long have you guys been planning?”

“Umm…” She squinted her eyes, preparing herself for bad reactions. “We’ve talked about it, but this wasn’t exactly planned…”

“Well, that kind of does it then, doesn’t it? Just give him a bit to wrap his head around it.”

“When I was pregnant with Ethan, your dad also needed a second,” my mom added, taking us back a bit. I wasn’t exactly expecting her to add her own experience as well. “You know we love you all, but he’s much younger, that doesn’t exactly scream planned, does it?”

She was right. I technically always knew. He did join us all quite a lot later. Considering Anna and I were two years apart, it definitely was strange. Still, hearing my mom say it outloud was quite the shocker. Part of me always still wanted to believe that they just wanted another baby at that time. Obviously, they didn’t mind, they always loved Ethan, even before he was born, but still.

“I’m sure that if I had gotten pregnant before we got married, both Jack and I would have been more shocked and unsure about what to do than now.” I felt like I needed to say it so she wouldn’t think that our relationship was perfect. The timing just happened to be perfect now. I was also sure that if I hadn’t gotten pregnant again so soon, things would have gone very differently.

“Sex before marriage is a sin…” Anna mumbled, thinking over everything we said.

I snorted, “you’re the one telling me.”

“Shut up.” She gave me a soft annoyed push before worrying again. “What if Chris doesn’t come around?”

I sighed, “if you’re really that concerned, you’re just going to have to talk to him, tell him how you feel, try to understand what he’s feeling.”

She hummed and nodded. “I guess… although I do wish I had somebody like Jack who is immediately excited.”

“I’m sorry,” I patted her shoulder a few times, “but he’s taken.”

She breathed out heavily and pushed herself back further into the couch. “Did you ever think you’d be here right now?”

“Married and having a baby with Jack?” I asked, getting single nod from her. “No, not at all. If you had told sixteen-year-old me, I would have wondered where I made a mistake. Not because I thought it would have been a horrible thing, but just because I never thought of him that way until we started dating.”

“I always liked Jack,” my mom butted in, remembering the days when we were all much younger. This was over fifteen years ago. “You know, I always thought you guys would have ended up together back then. He just looked at you in this specific way, but as you said, you didn’t look at him the same way. I forgot all about it until you showed up one day hand-in-hand with him.”

“If we had dated back in high school – or even after that – it would have been a disaster!” I laughed, clapping my hands together. “He was way too busy with All Time Low, and I was way too busy getting my education and moving up to my dream job. When we actually started dating, we already had our careers sorted out. I mean… sort of… but we don’t mention that.”

There was a pleasant silence that my mom decided to break. “I really hope one of you has a girl.”

Both Anna and I looked at her, very startled. It was a mixture of confusion and a sort of negative awe. First of all, why would she have a preference for a gender? And second of all, why was it a girl?

“I just have boxes of all your old toys left in the attic,” she defended herself when she saw our reactions, “I’d love to get rid of them.”

“We can still give the dolls to our kids if we only have boys,” Anna countered.

“You’re not wrong there…” she noticed her mistake and I could see the regret spread across her face. “Remember when Ethan would not let go of that one doll you all had when he was four?”

“I was pissed when you gave that doll to Anna!” I laughed, remembering exactly which one she was talking about. It had never been one of my favourite toys, but I hated giving things away back then, especially if it was to Anna. She would steal so many things that were mine already. “But I give you full permission to hand it down to your kids.”

“Are you sure? It was yours originally,” she checked.

“Yeah, of course. I’ve got other things I can hand down.”

“Maybe we should let Ethan keep it for whenever he had kids. He was obsessed with that thing.”

We continued to sit there and talk about random things. There was a lot of reminiscing, thinking back to the years when we were kids, but also thinking about things that had happened just months ago. A lot of the times, it often came back to us being pregnant. My mom loved asking us questions and telling us about her own experiences. It made me both look forward to the next few months and absolutely dread everything that was coming all at the same time.

It took Jack a total of forty-five minutes to come back. We were just talking and laughing when he suddenly came through the front door, holding a single pizza box in his hands. He looked absolutely freezing despite the coat he was wearing. Before he even took off the coat and his shoes, he came up to me and handed me the box, kissing the top of my head.

I opened the box excitedly and saw a pizza absolutely covered in black olives. There was barely any empty space that had just cheese and tomato sauce. It was absolutely perfect. It was even better than anything I could have imagined.

“You are literally the best,” I gushed, immediately picking up a slice, taking a huge bite. Everything about it was so satisfying. What would have usually repulsed me was now hitting the right spot. It could have easily been my new favourite food.

Jack put his coat back up on the rack and kicked off his shoes before sitting next to me. “I better be, I went through a lot of effort to get that.”

“Thank you.” I grinned and pecked him on the lips.

He scrunched up his nose at the contact. “Gross, you taste like olives.”

“Want a slice?” I offered, nudging the box in his direction and happily eating some more.

“No,” he looked very concerned for his own wellbeing, “I don’t want olives with pizza. This is one food I will refuse to ever eat.”

“More for me.” I shrugged, probably eating way too quickly.

“Would you like some wine, Jack?” My mom offered. About half way through our conversation before Jack came back, she had gone up to open a bottle for herself.

“I’m good, thanks,” he declined and put his head on my shoulder.

“You’re allowed to go to bed you know,” I told him with my mouth full. “You don’t need to stay up. I know I rudely woke you up.”

His eyes already started getting a little heavy. “No, I don’t want to go without you.”

“I’m going to be a while,” I pointed out.

He shook his head and sneaked his arms around my waist, almost hugging me.

“I can go to bed by myself, I’m not going to keep you up.”

“I’ll stay up with you,” he tried to convince me, but his eyes closed.

“You know I won’t be able to carry you upstairs if you fall asleep.”

He hummed in response and mumbled softly, “cheese puff.”

And then he was completely gone, breathing heavily as he slipped into a deep sleep.

–––––

A lot had happened since Jack had told my family that I was pregnant. It was only about three months later, meaning I was now 26 weeks pregnant. We had called Jack’s family to announce it to them as well. His parents were all the way in another country and his siblings were just a bit too far away for us to go on a road trip in the cold slippery conditions. While all our family knew, or at least close family, I didn’t know how much further the news spread, we had not yet announced it on social media. It had been a decision we made because we didn’t want to get bombared by things.

I just wanted to keep it quiet for a little while. It wasn’t that I wasn’t excited, because I really was, I just wasn’t ready yet for all the talking that would happen. Jack couldn’t just simply tell the word that he was having a child. There would be articles upon articles, people trying to reach out to us, and even the people who would be livid about it. That, and the fact that All Time Low was coming out with another album, had caused us to stay silent. Jack was busy promoting that album, and we didn’t want it getting in the way of that and shows.

But the world had changed since then. Jack wasn’t out playing the many shows they had planned after the album release. We were stuck at home, living our lives inside. Everybody in LA was ever since we were told to quarantine. On one hand, it was nice to have Jack at home, especially since you could definitely tell that I was pregnant now and it was becoming difficult to do some things. On the other, though, I was upset for him. He was so excited to get out and play shows, and now he was at home with nothing to do.

I still had a lot of work to do. Despite everything that was happening, our magazine was not stopping. However, things were also changing there. Everybody was working from home, all our meetings were online, and new arrangements had to be made. Certain articles couldn’t be published anymore, photoshoots were cancelled, advertisements were being pulled. It was all my responsibility and I worked so much overtime. But I was just glad to still have a job.

I had my last meeting for the day right after lunch, which I did still have a set time for. Technically, my work day wasn’t done yet. I still had other things left to do. But I decided I needed a little break to keep myself sane. I needed to move around a little, take my mind of the work I was trying to do, and see what else was going on around our house.

I saved my latest work and set the laptop to sleep before I rolled my chair back and stood up. The first thing I did was stretch, catching my appearance in the mirror. My hair was up in a messy bun, I was wearing a large All Time Low t-shirt that engulfed my gym shorts, nothing on my feet, and my bump was sticking out. I really didn’t look work ready, but that was the perk of usually being the boss at the meetings. There was nobody to look down at me for not looking as professional as I usually did. If anything, it made everybody else feel more comfortable dressing down as well. I was stuck at home and pregnant, it just wasn’t really my priority, and I felt like nobody had to worry about that now.

I opened the door to the small bedroom we had turned into our designated office and went to go downstairs. Once I was going down the steps, I heard Jack’s voice, like he was talking on the phone. It wasn't until I was actually downstairs that I remembered it was past two o’clock and that Jack was doing a livestream with the others from the band. Just based on how loud his voice was, I could tell that he had opted to sit in our open more formal living room instead of the TV room, which actually had doors you could shut. I figured that if Jack was dumb enough to not find a secluded space, then it wasn’t my fault if I accidentally interrupted.

I walked past him, catching a quick glimpse of the rest of the band on his laptop screen, and made sure to stay just out of frame. He still looked up at me with a big grin while I responded with a short wave, going straight for the kitchen. I contemplated making myself some tea or coffee, but decided against it. It was pretty warm in LA and I was already sweating, even the idea of drinking anything hot was making me feel like I’d overheat. Being pregnant didn’t help with that either.

I opted to check out the fridge instead. There were lots of different snacks, leftovers, and unopened packets of food. It was difficult to find something that screamed ‘eat me’ or ‘drink me’ at me, though. I settled on a carrot. Why a carrot? I didn’t know at all, but I was eating it and it was pretty satisfying. I just hummed along with the song in my head and closed the fridge, deciding to leave the kitchen again before I started rummaging through all the cupboards.

As soon as I left the kitchen, Jack’s eyes were on me again. With the song still stuck in my head, I did a little dance. Nothing much, just some shaking with my shoulders and a few steps with my feet. It wasn’t like I could do any more. There was literally another human being in the way.

“What are you doing?” Jack laughed, shaking his head at me.

Instead of explaining my actions, I pulled out the shirt I was wearing and screamed, “Wake up sunshine, somebody loves you!”

Afterall, the shirt was the reason why that song was stuck in my head. The phrase ‘Wake up sunshine’ was written on it so largely that I couldn’t ignore it. It was there, constantly reminding me that the song was there and that it was good.

“Our number one fan,” Jack grinned back, completely neglecting his livestream.

“No,” I corrected him and pointed at my bump, “he’s going to be your biggest fan.”

“Cheese puff might be, or he’ll be a rebel and hate our music. Either way, you’re still the biggest fan now.”

“I’m sure there are people out there who will beg to differ,” I chuckled, taking a bite from the carrot in my hand.

Jack briefly glanced back at his laptop screen before directing his gaze back to me. “Wanna join for a bit?”

I looked down at my bump and back up at him, raising my eyebrows. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Circumstances have changed, there’s no real reason to hide it anymore.” He shrugged. “Unless you don’t want anybody to know, of course.”

I thought about it for a second. He was right. All we were doing was sitting at home, there wasn’t really a reason to keep it from their fans anymore. Of course, Alex, Rian, Zack, and their crew already knew all about it. So this wouldn’t be the time they found out. The only thing we’d be getting was comments online from fans.

“Fine,” I agreed and crossed my arms, “but only if we have sex later.”

Jack’s eyes went very wide. “I almost unmuted my microphone before you said that. But I can definitely keep that promise.”

He turned back to his screen and clicked something. “Calm your titties, I was muted for a reason. I was talking to my wife… my wiiiife.” He pulled out an earphone and held it out for me. “They’re calling out for you.”

I took a deep breath in before walking up and taking the earphone from him. It wouldn’t have been so nerve wracking if this wouldn’t be the first time people would see that I was pregnant. Still, I put the earphone in my ear and sat down next to Jack on our large couch.

“Rachel!” Rian immediately yelled out.

“Hey!” I greeted back with a little wave.

“How’s everything? How are you dealing?” Alex asked, rubbing his chin.

“Pretty well, actually,” I admitted, knowing that there were so many people who were seriously struggling right now. “I’ve still got my job. I took a paycut so we can continue to pay people like interns and stuff even though I work so many hours overtime now. But it’s what’s important.”

“You took a paycut?” He repeated in what seemed a little like surprise.

“Yeah, there’s people out there who need it more than us right now.”

“Wow, I commend you for that.”

“You really shouldn’t. It’s the right thing to do.” I shrugged and brought my carrot up to my mouth again, snapping another piece off.

Jack looked at me weirdly and started laughing. “Why are you eating a carrot?”

“Why are you drinking at three?” I shot back with a similar judgmental look even though I really didn’t give a shit. “What are you drinking anyway?”

Instead of letting him answer, I reached over his legs and grabbed one of the bottles he had in his assortment. It was a wine bottle. I read the label and immediately remembered what this live stream was technically centered around. They didn’t really talk much about it, but it was the reason why they were drinking in the first place.

I turned the bottle so it was facing the camera and put on my best fake commercial smile, selling it with a very rehearsed and monotone voice. “Everything is Wine. Buy it for all of your wine needs. Tastes like wine, smells like wine, and even looks like wine. It’s probably great.”

“At least be a little more enthusiastic, Rachel!” Alex clapped his hands together, thinking it was funny despite his response.

“I don’t drink, remember?”

“I was just about to say,” Rian interjected, drinking from his own tumbler, “you shouldn’t be drinking.”

“I’ve had friends and family ask me if it’s difficult to not drink now, but I didn’t drink before either. It’s really not that hard not to drink anything with alcohol.”

“Agree to disagree,” Jack said sheepishly and sipped his white claw, which he was obsessed with for some reason. He claimed they were amazing, but I had no way of knowing.

“Our fridge is just full of white claws and carrots–”

Before I could finish my joke, Jack suddenly screamed as our back door started opening. Olive came barreling inside, barking at us excitedly, Ethan taking his own time to walk inside normally and even close the door behind him as well. He had Olive’s leash in his hands and was in the process of taking off his sunglasses.

“I swear to god, Jack. At this rate, you’re going to make me go into premature labour,” I sighed, my one ear ringing without the slight protection of the earphone.

“I’m not that scary looking, am I?” Ethan defended with mock offense and started leading Olive away to the front hall to feed her, meaning he briefly appeared on screen.

Alex gasped dramatically and accused us, “do you have guests over?!”

I scoffed. “That’s my brother. He was supposed to go on spring break with his college friends, but decided not to go… unlike the others. So he came over here instead because it’s easier for him, and now we’re all stuck together.”

“Another good thing? Why won’t you give me anything to judge you for?” Alex sighed in frustration.

“Judge me for the fact that I’ve gotta get back to work,” I countered, seeing that my short break had become thirty minutes long.

“Oh, man, how dare you!”

“I’m sorry, I’ll try to do better next time.”

“Well, it was nice to talk to you!”

“Yeah, it was good seeing you guys. Bye!” I handed back the earphone to Jack.

He put it in his ear and pulled me back to kiss me before letting me go. Although I said I was going to go back to work, I first went to check up on Ethan and Olive to see how they were doing.

That evening, Jack and I decided to fully announce that we were having a baby on social media. People had already started sharing screenshots and comments about what they had seen on the livestream. There were full on debates on whether or not I was pregnant. It wasn’t that obvious with the shirt I wore and we never explicitly said anything. However, the photo Jack posted of me on the couch in my pajamas and my shirt lifted a bit said enough. Then, the ultrasound I posted solidified it all.

People went wild.

#all time low #all time low fanfiction #jack barakat #Jack Barakat fanfiction #all time low imagines #Jack Barakat imagines #fanfiction #here I am there you are

[goalooblog01-blog]

Is On the net Gambling the New Trend?

    On line gambling is growing at a staggering amount, even though the record of the marketplace is nevertheless as new as the World wide web alone. It is pretty popular these days, as there are virtually hundreds of on line casino sites that supply lots of video games and betting restrictions. On the internet gambling is an adaptation of the actual thing that comes about at live casinos, amid the many games that are obtainable on the web you ought to acquire time to attempt out on the net blackjack, this is a pretty interesting activity and you can take pleasure in it devoid of even leaving the comfort and ease of your personal house. On the internet gambling is getting more and a lot more famed nowadays, that Institutional evaluation and scrutiny are staying executed by exalted personalities to dig out the authentic factors of it. In the event you loved this short article and you wish to receive much more information relating to http://goaloo.co.id/ assure visit our own web-site. Betting According to a latest Gallup poll, gambling has develop into a lot more well-liked amongst college students, irrespective of whether they enjoy for pleasurable or more critically by poker video games and sports betting. Betting on the web is a difficulty, the research states, for the reason that it has the potential to be a lot more addictive than on line casino gambling. Unlike land-primarily based gambling spots, on the net gambling web-sites do not give betting on credit and there are no nearby ATMs from which to draw income and then straight away bet. Most of these internet sites aim on card game titles this kind of as poker and blackjack and on standard casino games these as roulette and slot devices, but the roots of world wide web gambling middle on sports betting and horse racing. It truly is a small acknowledged actuality that Nevada is only 1 of a handful of states that especially prohibits both players and Web operators from engaging in online betting. Casinos Casinos online feature superior quality software that brings the excitement of on line casino gambling to your individual property. Casinos rated by specialist gamblers, according to reward dimension, payout level, client support, etcetera... Some online casinos also give "observe places" the place players can master the online games and play for totally free, but be careful, success in these cost-free places is positive to direct to an invitation to the real gaming locations in which good results may not be so uncomplicated. The major several poker web pages, with minor overhead prices and unrestricted table capacity, are producing impressive financial gain that has already outpaced the world's most successful casinos. The newer perception that 'online casinos are recession evidence stems from the concept that in challenging moments individuals change to vices, and with the included expenditures of travel, resorts, foods, and entertainment those men and women would not turn to Vegas style casinos, but rather convert to on the web sorts of gambling. Summary On line gambling is a risky business, as the participant has no serious plan of who is jogging the Internet site and how to get in touch with the business should the require arise. It is illegal in some jurisdictions and people must consult lawful counsel relating to the lawful status of on-line gambling and gaming in their jurisdiction. It is really tons of entertaining at online casinos, working with the World-wide-web to website link up with any of 1000's of world wide web web pages that offer you all kinds of gambling on line. Online gambling is not only pleasurable but it can be a practical way to do your gambling because you do not have to carry substantial sums of cash to the on line casino to gamble you can do all your transactions by possibly credit history card or funds transfer , players generally make a deposit to the on the net gambling web-site and when at any time they enjoy they can use that deposit to make wagers or to by tokens and then dollars out any payouts the very same way. Contemplate this - on-line gambling is established to exceed $20 billion in 2010 and is the speediest growing market on the Net currently. While on-line gambling is a incredibly aggressive business enterprise, when it arrives to participant abuse the industry feels so strongly that the on the internet casinos support to secure each individual other. From decision of video games and betting choices to entertaining, exhilaration, and the probability to get cash, online gambling has it all.  

[golittlehollywood]

Here are some words - my words and thoughts on the current situation, the protests, the worldwide fight to end racism.

Let's go back in time when villages were small, tiny in comparison with the cities and villages we live in today, a time when no one and later only a few people could read and write and everyone needed to hunt to survive. It doesn't matter if I tell you about the Neanderthals or people living in the Middle Ages, what I want to point out works both ways. Centuries ago people had to depend on village communities. It was all they had and all that was safe. Everything familiar was good, which means that everything unknown, strangers and foreigners were seen as a danger. They were robbers, burnt down villages, took things etcetera etcetera. In a nutshell, prejudices were used as a defence.

  However, times have changed, we have changed. The world isn't the big scary beast it used to be anymore. There is no land to explore and seize no more, simply because it's all been done. We've been through it. There is nothing to defend. And still, prejudices turned into racism.

  I hope you understand what I mean. Please don't be like "what are you driving at?" Here it comes. Although times have changed and most of the human race accepts each other, doesn't believe foreigners take away jobs, rob the white, and kill everyone coming in their way, there are a few who hang on to these stereotypes and accusations.

 "Why" you may ask. "This all is so long ago, how are there still people who think like this?" I have been asking myself these questions too. Frankly, I am not sure why. All I can offer you is a fragment of a notion. You know how each gender (if we only think about male and female) has been associated with its own colour, right. Blue for boys and pink for girls. Somehow - and I am well aware that it is not as radical as it used to be, the structure is still within us. It is true, the human race has become more gender-sensitive but it is still considered weird to see a man wearing a skirt or a woman not dressing according to her stereotype. It's a long way of changing people's minds because it’s been like this for the past decades and we've come a long way. Unfortunately, no one can change what’s been taught and lived for centuries in a couple of years. That’s just not how it works, even if I wish it was.   

  My little explanation about gender stereotypes and being more sensitive can be adapted to racism. It is technically the same; it’s been around for ages and we have to accept that it will not disappear in a week or a month. Right now we can’t expect change but we can expect protests and education. This is why I personally think the current situation is a huge step towards ending racism. Whether there are posts online about all the black people who have been murdered or what to do, protests or riots all around the world, people promoting black businesses, authors, books and films/documentaries. I do not support every action that is taken, I do not approve of burning down police stations. Then again, you can’t attack a Malcolm and expect a Martin reaction. I understand the anger of black people and those who are standing behind them. If you are not angry, you are not paying attention. Murdering black people is a crime against humanity. It’s genocide.

  “Certain conditions continue to exist in our society, which must be condemned as vigorously as we condemn riots. But in the final analysis, a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it that America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the Negro poor has worsened over the last few years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice, equality and humanity. And so in a real sense, our nation’s summers of riots are caused by our nation’s winters of delay. And as long as America postpones justice, we stand in the position of having these recurrences of violence and riots over and over again. Social justice and progress are the absolute guarantors of riot prevention”. Martin Luther King said this years ago and his words did not lose their meaning over time. Au contraire. They are as important as on the day he spoke them. A riot is the language of the unheard. It is up to us to change it, we are the ones who can be heard, the ones who can be loud enough to not be unheard anymore. Use your voice, protest, demonstrate against injustice, talk about it, talk about racism with your children, educate them and yourself, support black people and businesses. 

  Don’t be silent.

#blacklivesmatter #blacklivesalwaysmatter #black lives are important #black lives matter #black lives are human lives

[victoriastelmacovich]

Living and Breathing Surfing

The joy of surfing is so many things combined, from the physical exertion of it, to the challenge of it, to the mental side of the sport. — Kelly Slater

Oceans have no shortage of variety and unpredictably. At the core of all uncertainty and possibility, there are certain questions that transcend domain. And it’s the significance of these questions that seem to feed a surfing addiction. Every crashing wave echoes a distinct challenge. Who am I? What am I capable of? And how far can I go?

Pushing Limits

Even the most basic moves can hook a surfing addiction. Catching a wave is a breeze for experienced surfers, yet remarkably daunting for a beginner. It’s the idea of accomplishing this physical feat, however, that captures the imagination. And mastering this initial skill, or any maneuver for that matter, only opens the next challenge.

The fun and the challenge of it never really go away. There's always something there to put you back in your place. — Kelly Slater

A surfer’s journey, in a sense, is the process of continuously testing and expanding personal limits. Exploring unmapped breaks are an opportunity for self-discovery. Even local spots offer fresh renewals of challenge. Pushing these edges is a powerful, almost primordial experience. It’s a journey marked by moments of hardship and triumph — the cornerstones of any adventure.

Real adventure is defined best as a journey from which you may not come back alive, and certainly not as the same person. ― Yvon Chouinard, Let My People Go Surfing: The Education of a Reluctant Businessman

Going out on the edges of strength and skill isn’t recklessness, however. Gracefully shifting between precaution and progression requires omniscience. Surfers have to navigate and adapt to waves that break in a flash. Staying in control is a matter of hyper-awareness — adrenaline wired by laser focus. It’s the chance to live up to potential; a realization often described as “feeling alive.”

For me it's sort of like time slows down. You become hyper-aware of a lot of different things - the way the wave is breaking, timing, putting yourself in the right part of the barrel. It takes all of your mental capacity to do it just right. — Kelly Slater

Like any journey, setbacks are inevitable. When a wave champions a surfer’s abilities, it is not only humbling, but it also strikes reverence — a deep admiration and respect for the ocean. To the committed, though, these are moments of revelation. They open a window for an inward look at where one stands in this very second. Coming to know the edge that cuts between what is real and what has potential invigorates an urge to surmount the next opportunity. And out rises resilience — a deep admiration and respect for oneself.

We're all equal before a wave. — Laird Hamilton

Life Lessons

Surfing is precarious. Ridable waves are the product of a delicate balance across vast expanses: from distant storms to changing tides to wind conditions to ocean geography to the surrounding landscape. Even with the best forecasting, there is no perfectly accurate prediction. Waves are vulnerable to subtle, momentary shifts in the environment; every wave will always presents it’s own character — fleeting nuances that rise and fall, never to be replicated again. If anything is certain, it’s that unpredictability is not unordinary. This is all to say, however, that surfing is an exciting test at every moment. And when the stars are aligned and the waves look good, it’s always “drop everything and surf.”

Surfers have a perfection fetish. The perfect wave, etcetera. There is no such thing. Waves are not stationary objects in nature like roses or diamonds. They’re quick, violent events at the end of a long chain of storm action and ocean reaction. Even the most symmetrical breaks have quirks and a totally specific, local character, changing with every shift in tide and wind and swell. ― William Finnegan, Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life

Staying calm and present is essential when responding to the ocean’s unpredictability. As a way of staying in the moment, surfers cultivate an almost meditative state. The zen of riding a wave melts into a flowing series of lucid decisions and buttery movements. Surfing feels like flying. The gravity of worry and responsibility are released. And taking a plunge into the here and now offers an escape — a refuge from the rest of the world.

Surfing soothes me, it's always been a kind of Zen experience for me. The ocean is so magnificent, peaceful, and awesome. The rest of the world disappears for me when I'm on a wave. — Paul Walker

Every chance to surf feeds the addiction. Ordinary days are as valuable as the peaks they thread together. Although often overlooked, it’s the insignificant steps forward that incubate greatness. Without even noticing, the small hurdles and minor triumphs are valuable lessons that ground character; the disposition to engage patience, courage, discipline, and humility are developed through an otherwise simple day surfing.

Surfing is attitude dancing. — Gerry Lopez

Beyond surfing, these lessons are insights for overcoming life’s inevitable obstacles. Surfing provides a way of approaching life. Indeed, many would argue that surfing is a way of life. At the very least, oceans offer a range of experiences that not only teach surfers about themselves as a person, but also about their place in something much larger than themselves — in the immensity of world. Surfing is rarely about what happens, and almost always about how you respond. Most often, it’s about remaining calm in chaos. From challenge to triumph, surfing is as addictive as it is transformative.

Surfing, alone among sports, generates laughter at its very suggestion, and this is because it turns not a skill into an art, but an inexplicable and useless urge into a vital way of life. — Matt Warshaw

#Surfing #extremesports #travel #outdoor #personal development #challenge #addiction

[aion-rsa]

Marissa Meyer Reflects on Her Iconic Lunar Chronicles Series

https://ift.tt/2SiCNtY

New editions of The Lunar Chronicles has author Marissa Meyer looking back on inventive cosplay and forward to new fairy tale retellings.

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Upon glimpsing the dynamic covers for the new paperback editions of Marissa Meyer’s reimagined fairy tale series The Lunar Chronicles, one can’t help but notice there’s something familiar about them—especially the gorgeous stepbacks that feature Cinder in a ballgown and Cress staring wistfully in the opposite direction of the strapping Thorne, silhouetted by moonlight. They bring to mind… Sailor Moon.

Meyer laughs when this comparison is brought up, considering her background as a Sailor Moon fanfiction writer, but says that it was not intentional: “I think that’s just Tomer [Hanuka]’s style.” However, when her publisher Macmillan sent along the artist’s portfolio, she was certainly struck by Hanuka’s work.

“I think that’s one of the reasons why I was so drawn to him," says Meyer. "Because it does have a little bit of that Japanese/manga vibe to it, which I love. And coming from that fandom and that background, there’s definitely a lot of influence in the books. So, I think that it plays really well; the artwork very much complements the series in a great way.”

While The Lunar Chronicles concluded with its fourth and final novel, Winter, in 2015, fans have been able to spend more time in Meyer’s science fiction fairy tale universe with subsequent releases including the short fiction collection Stars Above and the graphic novel Wires and Nerve.

Now, a re-release of the original quartet with brand-new covers showcasing each of the key characters proves that the series is still relevant to readers today. To wit, part of the new covers process involved crowdsourcing favorite scenes from the active and enthusiastic fandom via Instagram. Meyer describes seeing the same scenes suggested over and over, which made their way into the new designs: Wolf spiriting Scarlet away from danger. Winter and Jacin in a romantic clinch in her menagerie.

read more: Marissa Meyer's Renegades Trilogy is Riveting Superhero Fiction

It’s quite the departure from the original covers, each of which featured one key element from its respective book: Cinder’s mechanical leg (in place of Cinderella’s glass slipper); Scarlet’s (or Little Red Riding Hood’s) cape; Cress’ Rapunzel-esque hair; and Winter’s plague-laced apple. While the series has long been celebrated for centering the stories of princesses of color—Cinder is Asian/Caucasian, while Winter is black—and for its representation of mental illness, now those women are actually on the covers in the (human and cyborg) flesh.

“They’re so beautiful and so vibrant,” Meyer says. “I love what [Tomer] does with colors, and so when you see all four of them together, it just stands out so much. I couldn’t be any happier with them.”

That said, this is not the first time that the series has been illustrated. In addition to the aforementioned Wires and Nerve, there is also The Lunar Chronicles Coloring Book. While most authors do not experience the opportunity to see their work adapted thusly, let alone three, Meyer says it feels “incredible,” though she hastens to add that there is a fourth lens: fan art!

“It’s unbelievable to think about these characters and this world that lived inside my head for so many years, and then to see other people putting their interpretation behind it,” she says. “And in a way that there’s such wonderful justice to it, and [that] really captures the same sorts of emotions that I was trying to put into my writing. It’s just like one giant compliment. There’s nothing quite like it!”

Recent years have seen more and more science fiction and fantasy authors talking candidly about their fanfiction backgrounds, including N.K. Jemisin (the Broken Earth series), Naomi Novik (Spinning Silver), Tamsyn Muir (Gideon the Ninth), Tochi Onyebuchi (Riot Baby), and Brooke Bolander (The Only Harmless Great Thing). But Meyer has always drawn a line connecting her professional work and her fanfic persona, Alicia Blade, as seen on her old website via the Wayback Machine. It’s no surprise, then, that Lunar Chronicles fan art and fanfiction began cropping up online not long after Cinder was published in 2012.

read more: Den of Geek Book Club Podcast Talks with Marissa Meyer

“That’s the fantasy,” Meyer says, “for there to be fanfic of your own work, because I know what love goes into creating fanfiction, and how fandoms can really rally around it.” And how must that feel for a former fanfiction writer? 

“It’s a little weird, honestly! But it’s wonderful, and I’m hugely honored to know there are so many people who have taken the characters and gone off and done their own things with them.”

Early on, Meyer had to decide whether she would actually read the stories on Fanfiction.net and the Archive of Our Own (AO3). Despite her burning curiosity, she considered that “if Naoko Takeuchi, the creator of Sailor Moon, regularly went on and read Sailor Moon fanfiction, I think that that might have changed what I was writing and what I was putting out there. And so early on I decided, ‘No, I want that to be for the fans; I don’t think I should be involved in that side of it.’ But knowing that it exists brings me much, much joy.”

Another way in which The Lunar Chronicles’ heroines have made their way into the world has been through cosplay, which Meyer describes as “one of my greatest pleasures” to see at conventions. One group costume that stands out in her memory is a quartet of women in ballgowns representing the albino wolf, peacock, and other animals in Winter’s menagerie on Luna: “It was this amalgamation of ballgowns and formalwear on Luna, but also the animals of the menagerie, and I just thought it was so clever.”

In addition to fanfiction, Meyer is an alum of another online-centric writing community: National Novel Writing Month. Cinder and four subsequent books began as NaNoWriMo projects, but the life of an author has made it more difficult for Meyer to time drafting to every November. When asked if she might participate this year, she says, “I hope so! I haven’t been able to do it for the last couple of years; it never seems to line up with my deadlines anymore. [...] It’s a tradition for me, and one I would love to continue. I can’t say for sure if I’m doing it this year or not; but if I can make it work, then I definitely will.”

However, Meyer fans who are considering undertaking NaNoWriMo themselves will have to juggle a tempting distraction this November: Instant Karma, her contemporary romance novel with a magical twist, will be published November 3. Meyer describes the story, the first in a planned four-book series, as “about a girl who lives in a sunny, beachside town and one day inexplicably gets the power to exact instant karma on people. And she goes around punishing all of the snobs and the bullies and the people that she can’t stand. There’s one boy that she absolutely despises, but every time she tries to use this power on him, it ends up backfiring on her. It will be a love story and secrets will be revealed, etcetera etcetera.”

On her Alicia Blade website sometime before 2012, Meyer described herself as “beloved Sailor Moon fanfiction author and future romance novelist.” While each of the Lunar Chronicles books featured romance, there is something exciting about seeing her fulfill that description with her first romance novel. “It’s been a big change from my previous works,” she says, pointing out that “this is the first thing I’ve written that doesn’t have huge superpowers or futuristic technology. There are no fight scenes! Which is awesome. [...] It’s been really nice now writing something that still has romance, still has a theme of good versus evil and what is true justice, and all of these same sort of themes I like to play with, but in a much more subtle, quiet, sweet sort of way.”

But while she expands the Instant Karma world with contemporary happily ever afters, she won’t stay away from fairy tales for long. Meyer teased a new fairy tale retelling—and while she couldn’t say which story she’s adapting, she did share that it will be an epic fantasy what-if story...

“It is going to be fantasy—kinda my first ‘quest’ fantasy novel, which I’m super excited about because growing up, Tolkien and epic fantasy and Dungeons & Dragons—all of that was my jam. It was always weird to me that my first published book was science fiction, because I thought for sure I would write an epic quest story. So this is kinda my first [of] going back to my teenage roots a bit.” The book is tentatively scheduled for fall 2021, though that timing may be subject to change.

Even as she explores new genres and stories, Meyer will never forget the idea that first set her on this path. “I have so much love for this series,” she says, “and not just because it was my first series. I think for every author, the first one you get published is always going to feel really special. From the moment that I had this idea about writing about fairy tales in the future, and this cyborg Cinderella character, I was just so smitten with it, and I loved the idea of bringing all these characters together and throwing them on a spaceship and seeing if they could save the universe."

"That spoke to my heart and to my nerdiness on so many levels," she continues, "and I just had so much fun writing it. To see it now in the world, and see how readers have responded to it, and that there’s so much love and interest in the characters, it’s really been incredible. And of course I hope to have many more successful book series throughout my career, but I don’t know that there will ever be anything that’s quite the books-of-my-heart as The Lunar Chronicles have been.”

Close to a decade since Cinder was published, with a dedicated fandom returning to the books over and over, Meyer has one hope for the legacy of the series.

“Gosh, it’s so cheesy—I’m gonna say world peace,” she says. “That’s one of the things that I loved writing, was a world in which Earth and the countries of Earth have obtained world peace, and they have been at peace for over a century. I don’t know if it’s naïve, but I truly like to think that that is a potential future.”

The new, gorgeous paperback editions of The Lunar Chronicles will be available for purchase on February 4th. You can order them now via the official website.

As a former fanfiction writer herself, Natalie Zutter is mightily inspired to finish all of her WIPs. Talk fairy tale retellings with her on Twitter @nataliezutter.

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Feb 3, 2020

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[theos-butt]

Theo James: From ‘Divergent’ to ‘Sanditon’

Ruben V. Nepales - 9 hours ago

Theo James —Ruben V. Nepales

LOS ANGELES—Theo James’ TV series, “Sanditon,” has just begun, but he’s already making waves. In the second episode of the series based on Jane Austen’s unfinished novel of the same name, Theo got the social media buzzing with his naked scene.

In the final minutes of the episode, Theo, playing Sidney Parker, emerged from the sea completely nude and exposed his bottom. Rose Morrison, who portrays the coy Charlotte Heywood, got flustered as she paddled in the water.

Theo, noted for his roles in “The Divergent” series (as Four), “The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance” (Rek’yr), the “Underworld” series (David) and “Downton Abbey” (Kemal Pamuk), was quoted as saying to Radio Instances:

“If there’s going to be any nakedness, it must be there for a story purpose, after which it is effective. It is pretty pointless to have somebody whipping their package off for the sake of it….”

Excerpts from our interview with the 34-year-old actor:

Did you know Jane Austen had this unfinished novel, “Sanditon”? To be honest, I didn’t have that much knowledge of it. I read Jane Austen a lot in school, but I didn’t know anything about “Sanditon.” It’s basically eight chapters of her last piece of work and then she died. So, it’s later in her career, which is interesting.

Her writing changed and it was evolving and also in terms of the social dynamic in Regency Britain. At the time, things were changing quite a lot. But I also think the fascination is with Jane Austen. There are many adaptations of her novels and I guess the idea of doing one that hasn’t ever been done before was a strong pull for the producers.

That and combined with the ability of someone like Andrew Davies who is the preeminent adapter of those great pieces of classic writing—those two combinations made real sense and for him to continue the story. He brings real legitimacy to it.

It would have been hard without someone who’s as well-known and respected as Andrew to take on a Jane Austen work that was unfinished.

Jane Austen’s heroines were women who were ahead of their time. How do her works resonate with you, who grew up with women? How much awareness did you have early on about the positive influence of women in your life? It’s very present from early on. Not only do I have sisters, but my mom raised five kids. She worked her entire life.

She began essentially as an occupational therapist, which is a version of a nurse, then worked her way up to commissioning for one of the largest councils in Britain.

She is a very strong female presence in my life. I was aware of women’s rights, their abilities and strengths and how the balance is always not tipped in women’s favor. So that awareness has been present my entire life.

It is a huge theme in Jane Austen’s novels and in “Sanditon” particularly, about women’s roles, and the oppressive forces of male dominance. That’s why the show is really interesting.

Williams (left) and James in “Sanditon”

—RED PLANET PICTURES/ITV

You celebrated your first wedding anniversary. Did your marriage change the way you pick projects? I think so. When you are starting out, you are a young actor and you are kind of hustling, you are probably willing to sacrifice a lot or most things.

Whereas when you get older and a bit longer in the tooth, you realize that work is important, but life is more important or just as important.

In any career, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut of being obsessed with what the next job is and how you are going to progress, etcetera.

But life is extremely short and living life is more important than being obsessed.

Does it help that both you and your wife, Ruth Kearney, are in the industry? Yeah, that makes it easier. If you are both actors, you understand the world, how things can change very quickly and how you might be away for three months.

Do you live in Hollywood or London? I live just under the “O” in the Hollywood sign. No, I’m kidding (laughs). I sleep in a sleeping bag. No, I live in London and LA.

Do you feel like a British actor when you are in LA? I definitely feel British, but I’ve ended up working here a lot and I love the state of California. It’s amazing. I grew up in a very suburban kind of satellite town in London.

So, being here when I can for half the year or a portion of the year is great, because it’s so different from the way I grew up—the sun, beach, environment and being able to see and visit everything that California has to offer. So yeah, it’s very much a part of my life, but I’m still a very snooty Brit.

It’s hard to detect your snootiness. Of course (laughs). I’m a nun essentially, or a priest.

Can you also talk about your coming film, “Archive”? Aside from starring in it, were you also the executive producer? I produced it actually. “Archive” is a really interesting script that I read about two years ago. It’s by Gavin Rothery who is a friend and a good new director. He was an art designer and he designed all the sets and everything essentially for the film “Moon,” that great Sam Rockwell movie.

He is also a great writer. He wrote the script, which has some DNA in the “Moon” world.

We developed “Archive” along with Phil Herd, his other producer for several years.

For me, it was important because it was the first thing that I produced. With age and experience, I’ll be moving more and more into that (directing). So, producing “Archive” was a defining moment for me.

James (left) and Rose Williams in the TV series, “Sanditon”

—RED PLANET PICTURES/ITV

Were there actors in your family who inspired you? They were very encouraging, but there were no actors in the family. But being the youngest, I was obviously always striving for attention. My mom’s auntie was a musician and a cabaret singer, but I think that’s pretty much it.

How did you become interested in acting? My parents used to make me do short tap dancing numbers on the streets in London for coins (laughs). No, I just did it at school, then I did it at University (of Nottingham). After university, I was figuring out what I was going to do and I went to the Old Vic, which is this drama school (Bristol Old Vic Theatre School) essentially.

Can you talk about your fight against plastic packaging? Plastic is obviously a massive problem in Britain. They started doing this thing where you are paying for plastic. They have all these stats that say that amount of plastic tonnage that has been used has been reduced by 74 percent or whatever it is.

But there’s the other way of doing it, which is to completely ban plastic. Kenya did that and I know there’s been some interesting blowback from that. But they cut it out completely.

That’s the way we should go, because plastic is getting to every part of the planet that is physically possible. We saw that in the bottom of the Mariana Trench—how there were plastic particles there.

You are also an activist, championing Syrian refugees who have been displaced from their homes. I am doing as much as I can, but not enough. I have talked to the UN to bring light on the situation, raise money, but it’s not enough, to be honest. We always talk about doing more, but I myself am guilty of not doing enough, really.

But I continue doing the work with the UN and I will continue to do so. But unfortunately, the other thing is that there’s not only one refugee crisis. There are many refugee crises.

What’s up next for you? So I’ve just launched a production company with a friend of mine, who is a producer and we have a film going in the first quarter in 2020. We have two TV shows that are far along in development.

And we have “Archive,” the film I produced that’s in post. I am taking off now until October the 5th, when my other brother gets married. I will do nothing, acting-wise, but just enjoy life.

E-mail [email protected]. Follow him at http://twitter.com/nepalesruben.

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[vikmali-blog]

Our Home... Earth

          Earth is a planet that contains many intertwined cycles that have been sustained for 3.8 billion years. Sustainability is “the capacity of the earth’s natural systems that support life and human social systems to survive or adapt to changing environmental conditions indefinitely” (Miller 2018, 4). The three scientific principles of sustainability are solar energy, biodiversity, and chemical cycling. The sun provides solar energy to plants which generates nutrients for the survival of other organisms. Biodiversity is the intricate interaction of different genes, species, ecosystem and ecosystem processes. Chemical cycling is the cycling of chemicals through different species and back to the environment (Miller 2018, 5). These three principles are cycles that depend on one another.

          When looking at how the Earth provides for us, we are able to see that there are four types of services which include provisioning services, regulating services, habitat services and cultural services. Provisioning services focus on the material outputs from the ecosystems such as food, raw materials, fresh water, and medicine. Regulating services are the services that the ecosystems provide to us by acting as regulators; this includes air quality, carbon storage, pollination, soil fertility, etcetera. Habitat services are the living spaces provided by the ecosystems for various species. Cultural services are the non-material benefits that people receive which includes aesthetic and psychological benefits (List of Ecosystem Services).

          Earth provides us so much but unfortunately its atmosphere, water resources, oceans, soil, forests, and living species are currently suffering (Kendall 1992, para. 3). The atmosphere has an ozone depletion resulting in increased UV absorption. Also, from 1750 to 2003, the atmospheric concentration of carbon dioxide increased from 280 to 375 parts per million (Ecosystems and Human Well-Being 2005, 4). When looking at water resources, there are 80 countries containing 40 percent of the human population that lack freshwater (Kendall 1992, para. 3). Oceans contain toxic chemicals due to overuse of these chemicals for agriculture. Not only that, but “approximately 20% of the world’s coral reefs were lost and an additional 20% degraded in the last several decades of the twentieth century, and approximately 35% of mangrove area was lost during this time” (Ecosystems and Human Well-Being 2005, 2). In regard to soil, 11% of Earth’s soil (land bigger than India and China combined) has been degraded due to agriculture (Kendall 1992, para. 3). There was “more land was converted to cropland in the 30 years after 1950 than in the 150 years between 1700 and 1850” (Ecosystems and Human Well-Being 2005, 2). Tropical rain forests, tropical dry forests, and temperate dry forests are being destroyed for multiple reasons such as deforestation (Kendall 1992, para. 3). There is also a huge decrease of biodiversity and by this rate, only one-third of today’s species will survive in 2100 (Kendall 1992, para. 3). All of these unfortunate activities are due to human activity.

          The six major causes of today’s environments are population growth, wasteful and unsustainable resource use, poverty, avoidance of full-cost pricing, increasing isolation from nature, and different environmental worldviews (Miller 2018, 15). In 1930, the human population was roughly 2 billion and in 2015, the population increased at an exponential rate to 7.3 billion people (Miller 2018, 15). The more increase in human population, the more wasteful and unsustainable resources are used. Poverty also causes harm to the environment. People who are poor focus on getting food, water, and heating fuel just to survive. These people are, unfortunately, too desperate to worry about the environment. Then there are companies in which harm the environment when creating products. Most companies are not required to pay when, for example, they have to clear cut in order to obtain the sources. The fifth cause of environmental change is the isolation of people from nature which is phenomenon known as nature-deficit disorder. There are “three out of four people in more-developed countries [that] live in urban areas [do to] increasing use of cell phones, computers, and other electronic” (Miller 2018, 19). The last reason of environmental change is the different environmental worldviews. There are three different views—human-centered environmental worldview, life-centered environmental worldview, and earth-centered environmental worldview. The human-centered concept believes that Earth is a system created solely for human-life. The life-centered concept believes that all species are important. The earth-centered concept believes that humans “are part of, and dependent on, nature, and the earth’s natural capital exists for all species, not just for humans” (Miller 2018, 20). People will act on one of these three views creating conflict.

          Although Earth is changing, it is not too late for us to look at alternatives in order to mitigate the change. The Alliance of World Scientists (AWS) is one of many organizations that can help us unite to reduce the drastic change which consists of 15,000 scientists from 175 countries. The purpose of the AWS is “to be a collective international voice of many scientists regarding global climate and environmental trends and how to turn accumulated knowledge into action” (“Alliance of World Scientists” 2017, para. 2). There are six areas that we can interfere in which include energy, short-lived pollutants, nature, food, economy and population (“Alliance of World Scientists” 2017, para. 2). We could start by using alternatives for energy, so we don’t have to produce green-house gases. Then we could recycle more plastics, so they don’t end up accumulating in the ocean. And finally, in order to stabilize population, women need to have control over their own reproductive decisions which include birth control methods (Kendall 1992, para. 15). These are a few methods that would help stabilize the drastic change of Earth’s condition.

          There are people that believe, it is not our job to save the world. Many argue that Earth has existed for 3.8 billion years, and during these years, Earth has experienced catastrophic events without human input. These events include “gigantic meteorite impacts, ice ages lasting millions of years, long warming periods that melted land-based ice and raised sea levels by hundreds of feet, and five mass extinctions—each wiping out 60–95% of the world’s species” (Miller 2018, 4). Thus, the planet Earth will survive no matter how much we pollute it, but some people are missing the big picture. The Earth can survive without people, but people cannot survive without the Earth! We must keep in mind that “our current practices put at serious risk the future that we wish for human society and the plant and animal kingdoms, and may so alter the living world that it will be unable to sustain life in the manner that we know” (Kendall 1992, para. 2). I, myself, did not notice how much of a parasite we can be until I did the Ecological Footprint Quiz. If everyone lived like I do, we would need 3.6 Earths to survive in a way that would not alter Earth’s conditions. When looking at the Ecological footprint per country, I was able to see that the problem originates from developed countries. Ecological deficit is when the ecological footprint per person is larger than the biocapacity per person. If it’s the other way around, this is considered ecological reserve. United States is considered to be an ecological deficit country. When taking the sum of all the countries, the world is ecologically deficit (Miller 2018, 27). These countries know that humanity is in danger, so why is there no drastic effort to change?

Figure 1. Human Footprint Index: Doesn’t this image look like a body covered in disease? Well, actually, this image depicts the human ecological footprint which has an impact of about 83% of Earth’s land (Miller 2018, 12) 

Word Count: 1,229

Works Cited

“Alliance of World Scientists.” Home Page | World Scientists' Warning to Humanity. Accessed January 27, 2020. https://scientistswarning.forestry.oregonstate.edu/.

“Annex 2: What Are Ecosystem Services.” UN Millennium Ecosystem Assessment

Ecosystems and Human Well-Being: Synthesis: a Report of the Millennium Ecosystem Assessment. Washington, D.C: Island, 2005.

Kendall, Henry W. “World Scientists’ Warning to Humanity.” A Distant Light, 2000, 198–201. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4419-8507-1_19.

Miller, G. Tyler, and Scott Spoolman. Living in the Environment. Boston, MA: National Geographic Learning/Cengage Learning, 2018.

[bbclesmis]

Just Like Jean Valjean, Dominic West Is Done Being A Bad Guy

After a career of playing notable villains,  actor Dominic West says he’s ready to turn a new leaf. So his role as the tortured thief, Jean Valjean, in the new MASTERPIECE production of Victor Hugo’s classic novel, Les Misérables, is a helpful bridge to be a better man on screen. In an interview, he talks about what it means to play Valjean, how his character seeks personal redemption and what the rest of the series has in store for the repentant former prisoner 24601.

Transcript:

Jace Lacob: I’m Jace Lacob, and you’re listening to MASTERPIECE Studio.

The story is well known — an impoverished man steals a loaf of bread to feed his family, and spends 19 years in prison. Upon his release, the convict nearly falls prey to old habits… but instead spends the rest of his life struggling to prove he has truly reformed.

CLIP

Old Woman: What are you doing there, my friend?

Jean Valjean: Trying to sleep, what does it look like?

Old Woman: Why don’t you go to an inn?

Jean Valjean: I did. They wouldn’t take me. No would take me.

Jace: In Andrew Davies’ sweeping new adaptation of Victor Hugo’s legendary epic, Les Misérables, the bleak stakes of the story take on dazzling new heights.

CLIP

Bishop: Consider this: even if the world has done you a great injustice, does it really serve you to have a heart full of bitterness and hatred?

Jean Valjean: How could I not have a heart full of bitterness and hatred? I’d like to see you after 19 years in the hulks! So don’t preach to me about God and love.

Jace: Best known for his turns in The Wire and The Affair, actor Dominic West has made a name for himself playing villainous rogues on American and British television, and his role as Jean Valjean includes its fair share of monstrous rage and sly trickery. Despite all this, he also found room for moral clarity.

Dominic West: This man’s a brute…who for whom compassion and humanity has been withheld for 20 years, and it takes a bit more to for him to be able to control that bestial side.

Jace: West joins us to explore Valjean’s story still to come in Les Miserables, why he might be done with playing scoundrels, and how he and his wife have become their own real-life Monarchs of the Glen in their castle-hotel in Scotland.

And we are joined this week by Les Misérables star and executive producer, Dominic West. Welcome.

Dominic: Thank you very much. Hi.

Jace: Jean Valjean has preternatural strength and a secret identity. Is he the first superhero in literature?

Dominic: He’s not the first because I suppose you’ve got the Greeks, but he’s the best. And he climbs buildings like Spiderman and he beats people up like Iron Man and he rescues children like Superman. But none of those superheroes did 19 years hard labor in a 19th century French jail, so he’s the toughest of the lot. I think.

Jace: We all know Jean Valjean’s prisoner number by heart and his story of redemption. What was the initial appeal of playing Valjean?

Dominic: The initial reservation was that the been played so many times before and that the film of the musical had just come out, and therefore what the hell have we got to add to it and certainly what have I got to add to the part? But the appeal came once I started reading the book and I realized it’s the best book I’ve ever read, and probably ever written. And that he’s I think the greatest hero in literature. And I quickly fell in love with him and  suppose what was most appealing about him, apart from his strength and ability to save children’s lives, etcetera, was his inner heroism, his heroics of battling your own demons and trying to do what’s right rather than what you impulsively and emotionally feel like doing.

Jace: We see Valjean not when he’s released from prison, but at the thick of it at the quarry. He strikes a massive boulder and it plummets down onto a guard, the same man who hit him earlier when he’s led through Toulon in chains. Is this an accident, or an intentional act on his part?

Dominic: Is very much intentional. He’s been brutalized for 19 years and he’s quite happy to want to kill anybody and certainly kill his tormentors. What becomes an accident is that he then rescues the guy that he’s just dropped the rock on and that of course is usually significant later on in Javert’s recognition of Valjean later. So no, he’s a brutalized brute who wants to harm people, wants to get revenge.

Jace: Even in these early scenes there’s an almost magnetic pull between Valjean and Javert that feels almost psychosexual, in a way.

CLIP

Javert: Well now, 24601. What was all that about today? You saving that guard’s life, why? If you  were trying to get yourself an early release, you tried in vain. There’s no hope of that, no hope at all.

Jace: And why is Javert so obsessed with this particular prisoner?

Dominic: Well it’s the big question it was the first question I asked in rehearsal, it’s the obvious question — What the hell is wrong with this guy? You know? What’s his beef? Why is he…? Because it’s not very apparent in the book at all. And I think we discuss this a lot and my preference is always to go for the big motivators which are love and sex. I think that’s what motivate most of us the most. And so I think there’s a huge magnetic attraction that Javert has for Valjean, and David hints that in the scene where I’m stripping off and he has a look, and it’s just one look, and it’s sort of…it just lets it hang there. David didn’t want it to overplay that bit because I think he thought what was more important was the attraction that a very small bitter mind has for the big mind, that a mean person has for a generous person, that the devil has for a saint. You know, I think that that’s probably more interesting.

Jace: These two men come to represent two very different sides in a philosophical debate about good and evil. Why is Valjean’s ultimate optimism, the notion that change and forgiveness are possible, so refreshing particularly right now?

Dominic: Well I suppose it’s fairly standard thinking now, that we’re not born bad, that we are the products of our environment and of of how people treat us. But when this book was written this was very much a philosophical debate that people believed, you know, people like Javert, that people are born bad and there’s nothing you can do about it. I think after, you know, a century of psychology and modern psychology and we realize that that’s not necessarily the case, but it’s worth being reminded of these things because I suppose you know, in modern political life in the UK and the US there’s a lot of currency in vilifying people for what they are, rather than who they are.

Jace: I mean even recently in France protesters called Emmanuel Macron president of the rich. I mean Les Misérables feels incredibly relevant and timely given the class struggles and sort of wealth inequality of today. Does that notion sort of stick with you, having played this part?

Dominic: Yeah I mean the French revolution happened because the gap between rich and poor never been wider. And I think it’s a lot wider now. And I think one thing that Victor Hugo understood was that once that chasm between rich and poor widens enough, there’s going to be trouble. And that it’s unsustainable. And I think I remember making this realizing that, you know, this what we have now, which is an enormous gulf between rich and poor in the world and in America, it’s pretty dangerous territory. And revolution tends to follow that of territory.

Jace: One year later Valjean is released from prison and giving one hundred nine francs after various deductions. But more importantly he gave his name back and becomes more than just a number.

CLIP

Javert: Here is your passport. You are required to show it to the authorities in every town and village you pass through. You have your name again, Monsieur 24601. I wonder if you can remember what it is.

Valjean: Jean Valjean.

Javert: You sure about that?

Valjean: JEAN VALJEAN!

Jace: Why is this such a powerful and profound moment of self identity for the prisoner?

Dominic: Well I suppose from what you says, he you, know he becomes a human being again, rather than a statistic or a number or a commodity. And hence his shouting to the echoing forests and wide open valley that he’s now free to roam. He shouts his name. And it’s very interesting with Valjean, his journey goes from being a number, to being Valjean, to being Monsieur Madeleine, when he’s the mayor, to being one in denial of Jean Valjean and of that being a personality that he is ashamed of, until his final embrace of that. And so it’s it’s very crucial to his arc and his development and his evolution that his names plot very clearly, what he’s called is very, very relevant to his state of mind.

Jace: I love the scenes between you and Sir Derek Jacobins Bishop of Dean.

CLIP

Valjean: You give me a bed here, right next to yours? Are you crazy? How do you know I’m not a murderer?

Bishop: That’s the Good Lord’s business, not mine. Or to put it another way, I’ll take my chance with you, my friend. Good night now, and sleep well.

Jace: What was it like filming these scenes with Derek Jacobi?

Dominic: Well it was bliss. It was. I mean I’ve admired him for years, and it is a tricky one when you got to cast the sort of most virtuous, nicest best man who’s ever lived, which is how he reads in the book. It’s so hard to write about virtue, it’s so hard to make virtue interesting. It’s easy to make the devil funny and interesting but it’s hard to make a saint interesting. And that’s what Victor Hugo does and that’s what Derek Jacobi does. And there’s very few actors who can do that, can make virtue interesting. But acting with him, who is a real hero of mine was in one sense, it’s dead easy because he does it all for a year and he’s so sympathetic and another it’s very salutary, it’s very…he was extraordinarily, he was very detached, you didn’t get involved talking much, you sat very quietly at the side of the set until he’s called. He’s very contained as an actor. And very generous, but it was great watching a master at work.

Jace: There’s a beautiful moment right before the Petit Gervais incident when Valjean collapses under the tree. We hear the church bells ringing out. We see the sunlight streaming through the leaves of the tree. It’s a really beautiful moment and then there’s temptation in this sort of Garden of Eden. The singing boy with his coin. What makes Valjean fall once more?

Dominic: Well it’s interesting, but in the book and I think in the script, too, but we didn’t end up filming it, is when he’s under the tree, after having encountered love and kindness for the first time in 19 years from the Bishop, he remembers his mother and he remembers the last time he felt loved, which was from his mother. And so that was what was going on at that moment of where the transformation is starting to happen. It’s been put in place by the Bishop, he remembers his mother and in the book that sort of precipitates his anguish, when his best side comes out, what makes him fall, what makes the scorpion sting? You know, he’s a scorpion and this man’s a brutalized man who for whom compassion and humanity has been withheld for 20 years and it takes a bit more for him to be able to control that bestial side.

Jace:You’re a dirty thief,’ Petit Gervais screams at him. How much will these words haunt him in these episodes to come?

Dominic: Well totally, and I think what’s interesting, what’s so beautiful about how Victor Hugo makes the agent of Valjean’s change being a little child, a defenseless child who is essentially, Valjean sees him, the bestial Valjean sees him as someone weak and therefore to be exploited. And what he learns is that the weak are what give us humanity and one’s attitude and one’s treatment of the weak is crucial to our humanity.

Jace: You mentioned a damascene conversion. After stealing Petit Gervais’s 40 sous, he changes his mind. He calls out to him. There’s a look of profound agony on your face as he searches his soul. Is this the moment where he where he does decide to be good?

Dominic: Yeah I think it is. I think the whole tragedy of his life and of his brutality comes crashing in on him he realizes that the deep, deep, deep sorrow of what’s happened to him in the last 20 years. And I think as soon as he’s allowed to pity himself in a way is is when he starts to love himself again.

Jace: Valjean collapses on the road curling up into a fetal ball in the dirt. Should we read the scene as a spiritual or moral or rebirth?

Dominic: Yes, very much so. Yeah, and I think that that element of the remembering the mother, which was we didn’t show explicitly, that is very much what Victor Hugo was writing I think that this is, he is reborn back into humanity.

Jace: What was it like filming this particular sequence?

Dominic: It was bloody hard. And really hot. It was really hot and it was the end of a long day that finally I had had to collapse. And I did seem to spend a lot of the shoot in tears. But for some reason at this point I couldn’t, the tears didn’t come. Which is fine, because they have to, but I was very conscious that this was probably the most important single moment of the whole story. And that can be very daunting to try and act. So I found it hard, and I’m still not entirely happy with it.

Jace: This first episode centers on both Valjean and Fantine. There are circumstances in this first episode are very different but they’re forced to make a choice by the end of the installment. Are they mirrors for each other in a way?

Dominic: Yeah, I suppose as she descends, he ascends. I suppose her attitude to Valjean the prisoner would probably be similar to what her daughter’s is later on, of revulsion and horror and what happens of course when they meet is that he becomes her protector.

Jace: Before this next question, a quick word from our sponsors…

Jace: You’ve played a lot of philanderers in your career, whether that’s McNulty or Noah on The Affair. Hector Madden in The Hour. Willie in Collette. Many, many philanderers. Why is that, do you think?

Dominic: I don’t know. I mean I’ve played a lot of villains and this was one of the, I suppose that was the initial attraction of Valjean was not playing a villain, playing the hero and the good guy, but as to why it’s philandering I don’t know. I’m not, I don’t know, I’ve no idea why people think I suited for philanderers. But they think I seem a villain. So hopefully after this I’ll be just plain, monogamous heroes.

Jace: Your big break came with David Simon’s seminal HBO series The Wire, my favorite all time series where you played Jimmy McNulty. Was there a sense at the time that this was a groundbreaking piece of television?

Dominic: I don’t think so. I think I’m sure we were all aware that with The Sopranos and that this was the dawn perhaps of a new golden era. But it’s very hard I find to take an objective view on things, I mean, and I’m only just starting to get an objective view on Les Misérables, in fact. And certainly while we were shooting no one, no one was watching it, really. I mean, a few law enforcement people and lawyers and a few gangsters but no one really was watching and certainly no one from the UK, and so I didn’t really, I wasn’t really aware of how how important it was and how what a groundbreaking series it was until much later, I think. You’re just too close to see these things.

Jace: True or false you joined: in Argentina you joined an Argentinian circus for a spell.

Dominic: I did, De La Guarda. Yeah it was, it was only in New York for a while and I did it in London for five months. Best job I ever had.

Jace: Sarah Treme, who created The Affair said of you quote, ‘He’s not afraid to let a character be complicated. There’s a flawed humanity that he seems to understand inherently.’ How do you react to that?

Dominic: What a lovely thing for Sarah to say. Yeah, I do get a lot of philanderers and a lot of villains but usually they have another side to them, and I think it’s essential no one is purely evil or purely good. Most of us are conflicted. So it’s important to be an actor who can portray that.

Jace: Given how well you nail the accent in The Wire and The Affair, are fans ever surprised to realize you’re not American in real life?

Dominic: They Oh I’m great I’m glad Yeah they still are. People still come up and I’m amazed. But I remember when I did it when The Wire had just come out in the UK and was getting quite a big following and there was a charity night and I was asked to go along. And it was a quiz night, that was as a charity night that was a quiz night, and the way the quiz was entirely about The Wire. And so it was full of Wire nuts, you know, people who really knew the show. And I remember going in and I had to ask the final question or something like that and I started speaking and I just remember sensing the whole room deflate with disappointment that hearing my accent when they realized I was a Brit. And so I you know usually in America people are pleasantly surprised, in the UK, people are unpleasantly surprised that I’m just a Brit.

Jace: Off screen you’re living your own version of Monarch Of The Glen. You recently rescued your wife Catherine’s family seat Glin Castle in County Limerick and converted it into a family run hotel. How is that project going?

Dominic: Well it’s great fun. It’s not true to say we rescued it, it was run as a hotel by her parents and then her father unfortunately died. So it was put on the market. But yeah, we decided to keep it going and to try and make it a going concern. It has been in my wife’s family for 700 years, really not much choice, but it’s going OK, actually. It’s going remarkably well, I think. You know, Ireland is sort of booming at the moment and I think once nobody from Europe is allowed to go to Britain anymore, then they’ll all flock to to Ireland.

Jace: Who is funnier —Dominic West or Olivia Colman?

Dominic: Olivia Colman is spectacularly funny and able to laugh and joke right up until they say action, when she is then able to go into a serious moment, as you can, which is not something Dominic West can do quite as well. And I felt as I found to my cost on the set of Les Mis, it was maybe that scene where we had the big fight at the Thenadier’s, and we were all crying with laughter at what Olivia was saying and then I realized of course that I had to do some proper acting. So I then tried to avoid her after that.

Jace: You directed an episode of The Wire and an episode of Jimmy McGovern’s Moving On. Is directing something you’d like to do more of in the future.

Dominic: Yeah I after doing that I thought that’s what I wanted to do forever and then I realized actually, well two things happened — when I started getting very good acting parts, I didn’t really have time for the writing, and the other one was I realized that a director is first in and last out, whereas an actor is last in and first out.

Jace: You left Guild Hall in 1995 one of your first onscreen roles that year was the Earl of Richmond in Richard III opposite Sir Ian McKellen. Was it a formative professional experience.

Dominic: Oh very much so. Robert Downey, Jr. was in it, Annette Bening was in it, Maggie Smith was in it. It was an amazing cast that I was just out of drama school and was able to sort of go around watching them all at work. And it was headed by Ian McKellen who’s a really great leading man in terms of his compassion and his ability to lead a cast and keep everybody happy. It was yeah, it was a wonderful job and an amazing job to have at an early stage in your career, because it was with a lot of people who were very generous with their knowledge.

Jace: You once reached out to wine critic Robert Parker to try and interview him. What ended up happening?

Dominic: He lives in Baltimore, so I was in Baltimore and I said, ‘Look can I come and interview you?’ and he said, ‘No you can’t but I’ll tell you what, you bring some of The Wire cast, I’ll bring the wine.’ And so we went out for dinner and there were four or five of us from The Wire. Andre, who played Bubbles, was with us and insisted on drinking Jack and Coke the whole time. I was telling him, ‘This is the best wine you’ll ever have in your life, and you insist on Jack and Coke?’ So we drank a lot of extremely great wine and I can’t remember much about it other than Robert Parker very generously gave us an hundred year old bottle of cognac and he said ‘I want you to open that when you finish the last frame of The Wire,’ and we did, which happened to be at six o’clock one morning in Baltimore. And we nailed the whole bottle.

Jace: That’s amazing. Dominic West, thank you so very much.

Dominic: Thank you very much.

Jace: Jean Valjean is the narrative core of Les Misérables. But his lifelong nemesis, the relentless Inspector Javert, keeps things moving in his pursuit of personal justice.

David Oyelowo: He has no problem in in saying that person is a criminal. And so therefore they deserve this punishment.

Jace: Actor David Oyelowo joins us next week on the podcast with a close look at how Javert’s need for truth and justice propels Victor Hugo’s epic forward.

MASTERPIECE Studio is hosted by me, Jace Lacob and produced by Nick Andersen. Elisheba Ittoop is our editor. Susanne Simpson is our executive producer. The executive producer of MASTERPIECE is Rebecca Eaton.

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