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#( which is not a comment to my often stated belief that it makes no sense she could take nat  &  bucky without breaking a sweat
loveandlive4eva · 9 months
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HOW TO SHIFT TO VOID/DR/IMAGINATION (using yoga nidra!)
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[ hi guys! I’ve been researching for ongoing shifting attempts I’ve been doing and I found out about a really interesting meditation/yoga method, yoga nidra, that looks like it could help a lot with visualizing our imaginations/4d and shifting to the void/dr! disclaimer- I’m like not at all an expert on this technique. yoga, or desi culture in general, I literally like just started researching it today, what I hope to do is introduce LOA methodology to some of this technique to help manifestors and shifters in their LOA journeys, if I get anything wrong, offend anyone or if theirs something you’d like to enlighten on, please comment, reblog, or send an ask! ♡ anyways let’s get onto the post ~ ]
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so, what is yoga nidra?
[ from my (brief) research, yoga nidra is a yoga technique which allows for access to the states between sleep and waking consciousness, which is relevant to manifestors and shifters because this intermediary state allows for the brain to be more susceptible to allow our subconscious to manifest our dream live and wants. Yoga Nidra is an ancient practice vital to the Hindu religion for millenia, but the specific form of yoga nidra I’ll be discussing was established during the 1970s, and I am mostly going off of the teachings of Satyananda Saraswati (this figure is controversial and is tied to accusations of sexual abuse, I in no way am supporting his actions and only want to share the information he provided with my additions, his action are super, super, gross, don’t support him as a person or financially). The following brackets will be profiling the seven steps needed to achieve the yoga nidra state. Also, this method is greatly aided by the assistance of a guided meditation, which can be provided through audio form such as through youtube or spotify (which there are numerous resources) or irl through a yoga instructor or friend, but make sure this environment is safe, and research your yoga gurus. you can lets begin ♡ ]
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HOW TO ACHIEVE YOGA NIDRA : STEP 1 - STARFISH / SAVASANA POSITION
[ the first position which is recommended for yoga nidra is to assume the shavasana position, more commonly known as the starfish position in western circles due to having all four limbs spread openly, similarly to the animal. We’ll be further using the effects of this technique during the course of the yoga nidra state. ]
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STEP 2 - THINKING WITH INTENT
[ this step might be familiar to shifters and some manifestors, as we’re often instructed to think with intent to achieve your desired manifestations or reality. In this state, we will think with intents to fully relax our mind and body, and later, think with the intention that no matter what, you will achieve your desired state or want, think with the intent that all limiting beliefs have been discarded. ]
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STEP 3 - ROTATION OF CONSCIOUSNESS
[ I think this is basically just body scanning, but can also be used as an oppurtunity to position your consciousness into that of the desired person, state, reality etc you want to achieve. Disconnect your body fully from the 3D world at this point, you should only be aware of the 4D world ]
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STEP 4 - AWARNESS OF BREATH
[ it’s basically what it sounds like lol, so just do your preferred breathing excercises ]
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STEP 5 - FEELINGS AND SENSATIONS
[ this is where you should start to visualize your inner world more vividly, invoking the ability to use your 5 senses in your inner world to further immerse your brain in this experience. I’ve already made a post (that no one read) about how to easily invoke your five senses to shift :) ]
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STEP 6 - CREATIVE VISUALIZATIONS
[ this is an extension of the previous step, where you visualize your inner world. in this step, the focus is specifically on the sense of vision in the inner world, where intense mental traning and concentration is used to invision complex imagery. remember, visualizing (and vision in general) is a sequence of succeeding imagery, it’s not that complicated at all, and you’ll become better and better every time you try! ]
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STEP 7 - INTENTIONAL THINKING - THE RE-UP
[ This final step invokes once again intentional thinking, but instead of easing you into the dream world, it eases you out, returning the mind to wakefullness. ]
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conclusion ~
[ what originally drawn me into this method was that it provided the clearest instruction of how to bring ourselves to the inner world I’ve seen before, and I hope it was able to inspire you also~ you’re going to manifest your desires, it’s literally destiny, remember that, and byeee! ♡ ]
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jewreallythinkthat · 23 days
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I have a question for the Jews of Jumblr, and I know this is a contentious topic to a lot of non-jews but for the time being, I'm just looking to find out how other Jews feel about this topic and have experienced it.
What do you see as the meaning of the term culturally Christian?
From my perspective, it means someone who grew up in a westernised country and is not from a minority ethnic group which has their own culture which is preserved. It is not a critique of a person's character, it is not an accusation against their ability to hold a debate, it is simply a statement about the values and believes, both conscious and unconscious under which they grew up. The reason it is a useful term is because although many countries believe in a separation of church and state, the values of Christianity in particular are infused into the very background and core beliefs of how they run.
Western society was built on Christian values, it makes sense that even if the official religion aspect of governance is gone, the teachings and core values are going to linger. (Unless the society was replaced by another value system in a major overhaul rather than gentle change over time).
Even those of us who are from minority groups can be influenced - I am Jewish but I went to a church school (who in their defence, provided alternatives to church services for non-Christians, including atheists). There are still things that I find out are actually Christian teachings that I always thought was just a general thing that everyone did/accepted.
From my perspective, I see a lot of (generally atheists) take aggressive umbrage with the term because they feel like it is a personal attack. A lot of people have put a lot of time into interrogating their own values but no one is perfect and people don't like their imperfections being pointed out. Being from a culturally Christian society is not an assassination on one's character but is an important thing to understand when discussing topics with other cultures who may not have the same outlook because that's simply not comparable to the society/social circles they grew up in. It's literally a comment on the perspective from which one approaches a topic. I like to think we all work to better ourselves but it takes a lifetime to be your best self, not just a few years.
I know this sort of topic is contentious and often viewed as highly inflammatory but I honestly have never quite understood how it got to this point.
I'd be honestly super interested to hear how other Jews have experienced this (especially those who are not from the US/UK/EU/Aus etc.) as you would never have been immersed in this sort of society?
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amai-no-ura · 8 months
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Typology - Gangubai Kathiawadi (from Netflix)
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MBTI: ENTJ (a great potrayal of Te-dom and Ni user)
Enneagram: 8w9 so/sp (836)
Sorting: Double Lion
First, I really admire this character. I will not comment on the real person because I do not know enough about her. But as it stands, I admire this character.
I can relate to her in so many aspect. I respect how she turns her pain into strength. And how she fights not just for herself but for 4,000 women of Kamathipura who depend on her. She is a selfless idealist who fights for her people when the world want to tear them down. I cannot respect this enough. If you ask me what kind of person I want to be, it's someone like her (as a character). And she reignites the flame in my heart as well.
But enough conjectures.
Gangubai is a Te-dom. She is a no-nonsense business woman who focuses on the bottom line and profit. She is a very kind and empathic woman but also a ruthlessly pragmatic and logical one. She never let her personal sentiment standing in the way of what needs to be done. She sacrificed her lover to save a young girl from prostitution and further her standing in Kamathipura politics. She bravely got into a room with a sadistic rapist who 'bought' her so she could bring him to justice. While she doesn't talk much about her feelings, she show it through her action. She is one of those 'enough emotions' people. Since her Fi is inferior, she rarely indulges in it. Instead, she prefers to problem solve and get things done for people she loves. She shows how she cares by being of service to her people and uphold her values through actions. But on a rare occasion, we get to see how much pain she has inside of herself such as when she called her mother... That was a sad scene.
But she is also highly abstract and symbolic. She ruminated on cremating 'Ganga' because now she is 'Gangu'. She stated to her madam that she will 'become queen of Kamathipura'. Then she went on to talk about different shade of white in a highly abstract way to infer her meaning. Her speech is often straightforward, but also subversive in that she finds a way of thinking no one thinks about (A brothel is a bad influence for the school. Wouldn't a school be good influence for a brothel?) All this point to strong intuition. And her intuition is a focused, single-minded, narrowing everything down kind of intuition, which is Ni. She also shows strong but underutilized Se. She enjoys good time and sensory thing but also not very active and impulsive in her decision making.
Her enneagram is also very simple. She is an 8w9 - fearless and calm in every situation. She doesn't charm people so much as strong arming them and demonstrate her power so she can come out on top. (The scene when she sat on a missionary is hilarious, what a power move). When she wants something, she just marches in and expects it to be done. And if they don't comply, she just put more and more pressures on them until they cave. (And as a 9w8, man I wish I could do this more, it's refreshing!) She is so/sp. Her focus is on larger society first before her own needs. She identifies with the group and takes on a role of 'mama bear' and protect them, fight for them. Which is also why I relate to her so much, as an so/sp with strong 8 wing...
And she is double Lion. Ganguji is fiery, assertive and fearless. She knows her values and isn't afraid to stand up against anyone for what she believes is right. She champions the right of her people, not out of a sense of duty or obligations, but out of genuine belief in the rightness of her cause and dignity of her profession. While she can be subtle, her go to method is usually 'do this, or else'. Which demonstrates exactly what a cunning and intelligent Lion secondary would look like. She is planful, cunning and very pragmatic. But she is also ... honest. She is very honest and straightforward in everything she does.
She doesn't beat around the bush and manipulate. She simply states it as it is 'if you value your life, you better do as I say'. And she is an improvisational secondary to the core. When she had to deliver a speech, instead of using a pre-prepped one. She just tore it and said what's in her heart. And it got people rolling.\
All in all, a compelling character and someone I respect.
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wartakes · 8 months
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War: The Chronic Condition (OLD ESSAY)
This essay was originally posted on December 6th, 2020.
In it, I basically talk about how war isn't going anywhere - but try to frame it not as being a nihilistic or doomeristic comment (quite the opposite, because I hate that shit), but instead as a renewed call to arms to take it more seriously from the left and to have more of a coherent policy position regarding it beyond simply "war bad." (Full essay below the cut).
If you don’t want to read this whole essay: tl;dr war isn’t going anywhere.
I feel like I’ve already said this ad nauseum in the first few essays I’ve posted here – and rest assured, it is not going to be the last time I say it. But after thinking about both of those points, I decided it was worth dedicating a piece solely to that point, seeing that it’s so central to why I started this site and began writing about war from a leftist perspective to begin with.
The nature of war may change over time, yes – the tools and techniques used to fight it will certainly change, as they already have throughout history and are doing right now. But whether its war between states or within them, it’s my belief that war in all of its forms will remain a constant factor in our lives and in the lives of whoever follows after us.
This is not something I take pleasure in saying. I don’t feel a sense of smug satisfaction in pointing this out like I imagine most newspaper columnists and foreign policy talking heads probably do when they’re lecturing to us about how we should just accept the state of the world as it is (which conveniently leaves them in a very advantageous position). I don’t feel an inflated sense of self-importance typing all of this out and I hope it doesn’t come across as that.
If anything, what I feel is fear and frustration and borderline depression in the fact that I even need to say any of this. In the time I’ve been involved with the left it feels like the few voices that exist talking about war and international relations seem to think that there’s a way to magically make war disappear. I think that is a dangerous line of thinking; one that would put the type of system we’d all like to see at risk if we’re ever finally able to create it. We need to accept the persistence and permanence of war, be knowledgeable about it and be ready to deal with it.
Politics as Usual
I want to preface this section by saying I hate Carl von Clausewitz with a burning passion.
I had to read On War in grad school and it was a painful experience.
I memorized only enough in order to pass my comprehensive exams and get my master’s degree and since then I have quickly forgotten most of it. If you ever see me quoting him or referencing him, 99% of the time it’s probably ironic.
However, among the overused statements of Clausewitz’s that still trapped in my brain folds in a non-ironic way, is his oft-repeated comment that “War is merely the continuation of policy by other means.”
While I still cringe whenever I hear someone repeat that overused quote – often in a way that makes no sense or has no real meaning – I still have to begrudgingly admit there is some truth in that statement (this is somewhat awkward for me, seeing that I want to write about how I think Prussian influences in military thought are harmful and dangerous – but that’s for another day). The phrase retains its meaning – or even reinforces it – in an alternate translation, that says rather that “War is merely the continuation of policy by other means.”
We on the left, though sharing a sense of solidarity and unity against fascism, imperialism, authoritarianism and all the other -isms I’m probably missing, are well known for our almost comical degree of division and disagreement with one another. We argue and squabble with one another over just about everything you can possibly imagine. We’re no strangers to disagreements on politics and policy within our own world. Leftists in the past have even come to blows over it – often to their own detriment as other enemies than swoop in to divide and conquer the left as its factions eat one another.
The reason I bring this up though is not to just dunk on my fellow leftists, but to drive home a point. The world already has a great number of political and policy differences. Even if the world were predominately governed by leftists states – or, for any anarchist readers, a world simply populated with leftists individuals and communes and what have you – as long as political and policy differences of one kind or another exist, the potential for them to escalate to the extent of going to war will always exist. As long as humans exist, politics will exist in some shape or form. So, we can be pretty sure that war will still continue to exist in some shape or form too.
Despite this, any predictions have been made in the past of the coming end to war. This isn’t exclusively a leftist problem by any means and has been seen with theorists and thought leaders all across the political spectrum from left to right. World War I was supposed to be the “war to end all wars” – which it famously wasn’t. With the end of the Cold War and the dissolution of the Soviet Union, Francis Fukuyama famously declared “the end of history, claiming that liberal democracy would be universalized as the final form of government – bringing about an end to war on the basis of democratic peace theory. Clearly that never panned out either – especially since he’s had to come back and ‘amend’ his statements decades later (oopsy).
Some have made more toned down but still ridiculous predictions, claiming that while war as an overall concept won’t go away, that the age of major wars between nations with large armies is over and that the future of war will be “shadow conflicts” fought by special forces and spies on the periphery of great powers – the same imperialism we’ve come to know and love but with a bold new taste! To them I’d say that clearly no one told the rest of the world, which are still producing, buying, and selling the weapons needed to fight one another in a conventional war, like tanks, combat aircraft, and more at a brisk pace – all while interstate tensions rise in places like the Caucasus, the Indian-Subcontinent, the Far East, and many more locales worldwide.
On the topic of weapons, to anyone arguing that a specific new weapon or emerging domains of warfare like cyberwarfare will make an entire way of war obsolete, I’d point to the interwar military theorists like Italian General Giulio Douhet who believed the advent of the bomber would essentially phase out the need for ground warfare (spoiler alert: it didn’t). Going back even further in history, Polish theorist Jan Gotlib Bloch, who wondered in 1899 if the growing deadliness of weapons would keep war from occurring (spoiler alert: that was wrong too). In that vein, while the advent of the atomic bomb has contributed to preventing another war on the scale of the World Wars, it certainly hasn’t prevented other smaller but still sizeable conflicts from breaking out since 1945.
I feel like I’m just rambling, so I’ll try and get back to something resembling a point. While I’m not in the Fallout school of “war never changes”, you should always take anyone telling you that war is “going away” or changing in a way that conveniently allays your fears of large-scale death and destruction with a massive barrel of salt as those predictions have a demonstrably bad track record when it comes to bearing out. To explain away war on a massive scale is dangerous wishful thinking, no matter what political ideology the person doing the explaining holds.
The Part Where Savage Gets Existential
From here on in, I make a bit of a personal digression that I wasn’t expecting to make – but bringing up the topic of war and its persistence made me do some deep introspection.
I spend a lot of time thinking about my profession and the relationship between it and the values I hold – especially in the last year. In particular, I spend a lot of time thinking about how I feel about war itself in a personal sense.
One worry I always have is maybe I’m “in love” with war, to put it bluntly. I’ve spent so much of my adult life studying it, learning about it, consuming media about it in all shapes and forms – I wonder sometimes if I’m some kind of armchair war junkie and if I’m part of the problem. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a strange feeling whenever a new crisis or conflict broke out and I begin tracking down the latest news and updates on it. I always worry that feeling is a sense of joy or happiness, thinking back to George C. Scott as George S. Patton in the eponymous biopic, where he’s surveying the corpse strewn battlefields of World War II and proclaims “I love it, God help me I do love it so.” That is one of my worst fears, that I am in effect a war-crazed sociopath that is contributing to a darker and deadlier world.
Thinking about it deeper, I don’t think it’s that I feel joy or happiness when some new war breaks out somewhere (at least I hope to God it isn’t). I do feel some degree of exhilaration, but I think that is more so in that suddenly I feel useful. Many people – even those that have participated in it directly at a micro level – don’t necessarily understand the ins and outs of war in a big picture sense. When a new conflict breaks out, I suddenly feel like I am contributing to something by trying to help people understand what is going on and why. That is why I started this blog after all, trying to see if my rantings and ravings can help other leftists understand war (or at the very least, push them to come up with something better to prove me wrong. The main event that catalyzed me into finally buying a WordPress site and starting writing was posting news updates and analysis to friends in a discord server as war played out between Armenia and Azerbaijan recently.
Maybe that sense of usefulness, that sense of somehow contributing and maybe helping people understand a complex but commonplace phenomena, is maybe why I sometimes feel a sense of existential dread when I think about a theoretical world without war. After all, if the world had no war, what use would there be for me? It’s not even the fear necessarily that I’d be out of a job – I’d like to think that in such a society I’d be well taken care of if I suddenly became unemployed – but that basically that the field I had pursued for my entire life would suddenly be meaningless and irrelevant, and by extension so would I. I feel a sense of shame for even thinking that, but I’d like to think people would understand why I and others would have these kinds of complex feelings.
I want to believe that sense of existential dread about becoming irrelevant is not the reason that I believe why war will always be a concern. I accept that that fear is a part of me and something I’ll need to deal with, but I don’t think my thoughts on the persistence of war is purely me trying to keep war alive by force of will in order to feel special and appreciated. The other part is looking at the world around us both past and present and thinking about all the factors at play in how war occurs, looking forward into the future and thinking about how some realities will never change or not change as much as we’d like no matter what systems we put in place.
Really, thinking about what it might take to end war on Earth creates another sense of fear. Ending war would likely require the most deadly and destructive conflict in human history if you wanted to remove anyone or anything capable of starting it. That would be the case whether if you wanted to replace all states with one global superstate, or create an anarchic world without states or governments as we understand them now. Even if one of those goals was achieved – and if anyone were left alive afterwards, who is to say that decades or centuries later, some charismatic leader wouldn’t try to raise up a new army and change the new status quo and start the cycle anew? If you wanted to stop that, you’d likely have to create a new system of oppression much like the ones we all seeking to disband or demolish. War is like water; one way or another, it will find cracks and it will leak through and you’ll need to start mopping up.
Maybe I’m wrong. Let’s be real, it would absolutely be 100% better for the world if I was wrong. Regardless of whether it would make people like me irrelevant, a world without war would be objectively better for everyone on the planet and people like me would just have to find a new phenomenon to study. A peaceful world is what anyone with any degree of empathy or sanity should want. But as a wise philosopher once said: “you can’t always get what you want.” And while a planet with a terminal case of war isn’t “what you need” – to complete the thought –  it’s what we have now. We need to understand that and learn to deal with it going forward in our efforts at trying to create a better world for everyone.
I’ve previously described war as a man-made disaster, explaining that those can never be 100% avoided – just as a natural disaster cannot. Perhaps another apt comparison would be to call war one of humanity’s chronic conditions. It’s not a fatal one if properly treated, but it is none the less incurable. At times it can be debilitating, and while there are often ways to lessen the occurrence of its symptoms or their effects, the symptoms and effects are still unavoidable and sooner or later they are going to flare up. The best we can hope for is to do everything we can in order to lessen the frequency and impact of war when it does rear its ugly head, and power through it as best we can when it inevitably does show up uninvited. It may not be the utopian solution that many anti-war activists may dream of, but at the very least it is something that is in the realm of the possible when dealing with an intractable problem like war.
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scotianostra · 7 months
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On August 25th 1776 David Hume, the Scottish philosopher, historian, economist and author, died.
As a writer Hume’s style was praised in his lifetime and has often been praised since. It exemplifies the classical standards of his day. It lacks individuality and colour, for he was always proudly on guard against his emotions. The touch is light, except on slight subjects, where it is rather heavy.
As a historian between his death and 1894, there were at least 50 editions of his History; and an abridgment, The Student’s Hume (1859; often reprinted), remained in common use for 50 years. Although now outdated, Hume’s History must be regarded as an event of cultural importance. In its own day, moreover, it was an innovation, soaring high above its very few predecessors. It was fuller and set a higher standard of impartiality.
As an Economist in his book the Political Discourses, which were incorporated in Essays and Treatises as Part II of Essays, Moral and Political. How far he influenced Adam Smith remains uncertain: they had broadly similar principles, and both had the excellent habit of illustrating and supporting these from history. He did not formulate a complete system of economic theory, as did Smith in his Wealth of Nations, the two were friends and must have talked at length about the subject, so although not really known as an economist you have to wonder how much Smith was influenced in there talks.
It wasn’t until the years after his death that Hume was seen as a philosopher he conceived of philosophy as the inductive science of human nature, and he concluded that humans are creatures more of sensitive and practical sentiment than of reason. Based on his understanding of the mind as “filling in the gaps” in our perceptions in order to make sense of our experiences, Hume explains that the mind itself is a concept rather than a necessarily existing substance. He writes, “What we call a mind, is nothing but a heap or collection of different perceptions, united together by certain relations, and suppos’d, tho’ falsely, to be endow’d with a perfect simplicity and identity.”
Whatever field he was involved in he excelled and is widely regarded as the most important philosopher ever to write in English. I might not understand all his philosophizing, I do however admire that a Scot has influenced some of what are perceived as the most brilliant minds on the subject to follow him.
Also I would much rather give his toe a a rub rather than the statue of a certain dog, Hume wouldn’t have liked this as he seen superstition as a way that led to belief in religion, he was a bit of an atheist oor David.
As with many from past generations Hume has been scrutinised over the last few years due to his disgusting racist views. The University of Edinburgh removed the name of David Hume from one of its campus buildings, citing concerns that the 18th century philosopher’s views on race cause “distress” to modern day students. However, the move has been criticised by several academics, including some employed by the university. They pointed out that Hume’s wider writings offered profound insights into human nature and served as a source of inspiration to generations of thinkers.
The University of Edinburgh premises at 40 George Square, which was opeened in 1963, was once called the David Hume Tower, In September 2020, in response to the Black Lives Matter movement, the university announced that they would be renaming the tower to 40 George Square. The university stated that Hume's "comments on matters of race, though not uncommon at the time, rightly cause distress today. A lot of people still refer to itinit former name, in fact just recently someone commented on my photot of Edinburgh taken from Craigmillar Castle, which showed the tower promenintly in front of the castle, as DHT, which it was often referred to as.
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The fortune telling
I have a vivid recollection of visiting the fortune teller on two separate occasions. The initial occurrence took place during my time at university, while the subsequent incident happened a mere two years ago. On both occasions, I came to that place in the company of my friends, driven by  my own curiosity. Initially, my primary objective was not to gain insight into the future. However, I couldn't help but feel a sense of nervousness as I took in the words spoken by the fortune teller.
The first occasion took place during my time as a university student, and I accompanied my two closest friends to participate in this interesting activity. I remember that time when our curiosity was piqued by what the future held, we were young university students filled with boundless imagination, filled with dreams and hopeful expectations for the days that lay ahead. Therefore, we longed for a sense of reassurance that the days ahead held promise for us. You know, there are several fortune-telling methods in Vietnam and across Asia, ranging from East horoscopes and palm reading to card fortune-telling and tarot readings, among others. Like seriously, I'm curious as to why we, Vietnamese or Asians, have so many different sorts of fortune telling. Personally, I believe that the deep-seated impact of traditional belief systems plays an important role. Taoism, Confucianism, Buddhism, and indigenous faiths have all contributed to Asia's spiritual tapestry. Concepts of fate, destiny, and cosmic forces connect with the art of fortune-telling throughout various belief systems, allowing people to acquire insights and advice in navigating life's complexities. Anyway, returning to my story when I first visited the fortune teller, I joined my friends in experiencing the domain of fortune-telling via the East horoscope, which can disclose one's whole life destiny only by examining the circumstances of their birth. I don't remember every detail of the fortune teller's remarks that day, but I do remember him assuring me that I would have a happy and successful life, full of longevity, and that I would find peace and reliance in my loving husband. He predicted that in the course of my life, I would meet my loving husband in the later phases, when destiny would bring us together. My future spouse would become the embodiment of my first love, and later, my only and eternal love. He would have the excellent attributes of compassion and patience that my dear father had. In addition, he would lavish me with the utmost care and consideration, treating me with the utmost devotion and tenderness, as one would treat a princess. He would also give steadfast support for my career ambitions. That is the extent of my memory. Everything is fantastic, right? I recall feeling relieved after hearing the fortune teller's comments, even though I had no idea how accurate they were. As I pondered the situation, a thought occurred to me: "Ah, indeed, regardless of the outcome, my forthcoming days shall be brilliant, for such is the decision of destiny, written in the stars above." And it was as though a flood of imaginative relief rushed over me, not the true relief since I'm not sure what he stated will really happen in the future. But hearing positive things about my future makes me feel kind of settlement. Like the proverbial "All roads lead to Rome," I felt relieved that no matter what choices I made or pathways I took, they would all lead to this beautiful ending. And on a Saturday night, just before embarking on the next chapter of my life, a flood of memories of these fortune telling came rushing back to me. I have recently resigned from my long-standing 9-5 occupation, which I served for a period exceeding six years. In truth, my commitment extended beyond the conventional working hours, often stretching from 9am until as late as 7pm or 8pm. In light of this significant change, I have made the decision to rent a charming cabin nestled within a small-town village. In precisely one month's time, I shall embark upon this new chapter of my life, seeking to delve into the depths of my being, while enthusiastically pursuing my aspirations as a writer and influencer. This journey fills me with a mixture of excitement and nervousness, as it presents itself as a new experience I have yet to explore.
As a human being, the notion of an uncertain future tends to evoke a sense of unease within me, although accompanied by a certain degree of exhilaration. I have been thinking about my forthcoming voyage to a new destination, wondering upon all of the possibilities that lie ahead. Questions have arisen within me, such as how shall I occupy my time there, shall I successfully execute the plans I have meticulously crafted, and most importantly, will I become the person I aspire to be. In an instant, a longing increased within me, yearning to catch a glimpse of what lay ahead in the future. I was seeking relief even though it was just an imaginative relief. That I wished someone would tell me, "Hey Huong, don't worry, you'll be fine, this path will lead you to success and a bright future, it's all written in the stars." Or someone could tell me where the traps are along the route so I can avoid them ahead of time.
And then I found myself wondering the reason behind humanity's deep-seated obsession with unraveling the mysteries of the future, just like when my friends and I went to the fortune teller to find out about our destiny. I think, the major source of this concern is the innate human fear of uncertainty. Humans usually seek comfort from regularity and control over their environment. So the idea of learning what lies ahead creates a soothing feeling of security. In our quest for future insights, we want to minimize worry and build a feeling of control over our lives. In other words, the search of safety comes from our fear of failure. We yearn for an ideal existence, one characterized by a smooth and constant trajectory rather than the unpredictability of a drifting path. We believe that through our understanding of the future, we can consistently make better choices. It's true, in my opinion. For example, if I knew that route A would go to a cliff, I would avoid it in favor of way B.  But is this the way to live?
I recall struggled with Chemistry as a high school student since I had no understanding what plus what equaled what, I only understand the fundamentals, such as H2 + O2 equals H20. So I began to concentrate on memory and rote learning. I attended the Chemistry additional class after school, and the instructor would usually give us several practice tests, with the identical questions and answers that would probably appear on a forthcoming exam. So, rather of studying and grasping the subject matter, I merely remembered the answers without understanding the underlying principles. As a consequence, although I received a passing score on the tests, I did not have the chance to properly absorb and comprehend the true principles of Chemistry.  The fear of failure the Chemistry exam prevented my efforts to learn and grow. As I reflected about it, I suppose I could have predicted the future back then right? I knew some of the questions and answers before the exam, and I felt confident about the outcome. However, this outcome had no meaning after the exam because I had learned nothing. The fear of failure, unfortunately, restricted my progress in various other pursuits. It led me to postpone or avoid any endeavor or situation that carries the possibility of an unfavorable result. And I sometimes found myself gripped by fear, hesitant to venture into unknown waters, reluctant to take risks, and resistant to personal growth, all due to my deep-seated fear of failure. As the trip approached, a sense of fear began to grip me, intensifying with each passing day. I am an only child, and throughout my entire life, I have never resided far from my parents. This trip, this voyage is presenting me with numerous challenges. I find myself wandering through the intriguing haze of the unfamiliar, burdened by the weight of expectations I have placed upon myself, that I derive some form of purpose from this expedition. But now sitting here, situated at a location roughly 300 kilometers distant from my home, surrounded by the presence of two adorable cats, engaged in the act of penning these very words, taking three deep breaths like my husband always does. I have come to a profound realization: the true essence lies within the voyage itself, rather than the ultimate arrival point. As Miley Cyrus sings: There's always gonna be another mountain I'm always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose Ain't about how fast I get there Ain't about what's waiting on the other side It's the climb Throughout the voyage of life, we can expect to encounter numerous challenges and obstacles similar to tall mountains and challenging uphill battles. And sometimes, we may even face defeat. But such outcomes hold little significance, for the true essence lies in the process of climb and conquering these trials. We just need to keep on moving, keep climbing and keep the faith.
I recall this great remark from the movie Forest Gump: "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get."
Life is characterized by its beautiful unpredictability. The uncertainty of each passing day leaves us unaware of what lies ahead, yet we can hold firm in the assurance that it will undoubtedly be a remarkable experience.  For that I believe I no longer require the services of a fortune teller to provide me with a fanciful sense of solace. I entirely embrace life in its entirety, firmly believing that the divine presence above, God, has meticulously crafted a magnificent plan for my existence. Every challenge and failure that I encounter serves as an opportunity for my personal growth, fortifying my inner strength. Simultaneously, each achievement I obtain humbles me, reminding me of the vastness of the world and my place within it.
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outofangband · 2 years
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Hello friend! Do you have any thoughts on how (if in any way) Turin's personality might've been different if he'd been raised to adulthood by Hurin and Morwen?
I have some Thoughts on it but I'd very much like to hear yours! --tolkien-feels
oh this is a question that involves having to break it down into like twenty alternate scenarios
do you mean if say, the Nirnaeth had been a victory? or if Húrin hadn't been captured and had returned? Or hadn't gone to the Nirnaeth at all? I have a few verses with those scenarios!
There's also just general psychological and neurological analysis but I don't know if you wanted me to get that technical (I'm happy to though)
I'll share some general ideas though and if you want to hear about a specific verse let me know! It was harder to do this without knowing what timeline to work with because I have so many!
Húrin I think would grow closer with his son. They'd grow to understand each other more. My controversial opinion is that Túrin is as much (if not more in some ways) like his father than Morwen. I do not say this to mitigate his relationship or similarities to Morwen, I think their similarities are fascinating and obviously Morwen is my very favorite character. But there are some key differences between them
emotional sensitivity and emotional expression is probably the main one. This is more or less said in canon "and in this way he was like his father for Morwen was as stern with others as with herself". There are several times where, from a young age, Túrin identifies and addresses the emotions of others and their hidden worlds. the earliest example is when he tells Sador he won't be afraid like his father or he will not act afraid like his mother does not.
( this bothered me at first since I read it as a - possibly gendered- commentary on Morwen's courage but, whether Tolkien intended it or not, I think it can also be a comment on Húrin's optimism and sincere belief in the possibility of victory in the near future as opposed to Morwen...not really seeing that. Húrin's lack of fear isn't that he's more courageous than Morwen, who is stated in that same chapter to have great courage, it's that he doesn't see what she sees to fear. Which would make sense given their different backgrounds and childhoods. )
Túrin is also far more emotionally expressive. I imagine in a much, much lighter verse him and his father could bond over that though Húrin is somewhat more casual with his expression. 
Túrin also seems to desire connection more than Morwen and  has a very different relationship to the elves.
Anyways, rambling aside, I think that the distance between Húrin and his son that was caused by Húrin having to be away so much could possibly be mended and they could grow closer. Túrin might find himself more torn between their differing view points, wanting so much to believe his father's idealism but also keeping close to his heart the words of Morwen and Sador. 
He would have learned more from both of them, their (sometimes, maybe even often) conflicting philosophies and also more tangible things. He’d know more about his heritage and his family. 
Túrin would probably feel more of a sense of security. Losing Lalaith and then his father especially how he questions what happens after death and doesn’t know specifics about Húrin’s fate. Not having this second loss would strengthen his sense of safety, security and confidence. He might be less defensive and volatile. (He still wouldn’t take kindly to someone insulting his parents like Saeros did but if he still lived with them, he might not feel obligated to defend them so violently and at the very least they’d be there to discourage him from that dffafdads)
@tolkien-feels I'd love to hear your thoughts too! I hope this is ok! It was somewhat difficult because I wasn’t sure what verse to focus on! 
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solads · 1 year
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Get Out: Movie Review
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Jordan Peele’s 2017 movie “Get Out” is a psychological horror with a scientific edge. However, had it not been for the opening scene in which a black man gets attacked and abducted late at night to the song “Run Rabbit Run” by Flanagan & Allen, the audience might have believed the film to be a “meet the parents” type comedy at first. The opening scene sets the tone for the movie and does a great job of getting the viewer’s attention. The scene is filled with tension, unease, and a sense of foreboding that will be present in the rest of the film.
The movie shifts focus after that first scene to center on Chris and Rose, a young couple seemingly in love and preparing for a weekend getaway where Chris will meet Rose’s family for the first time. On the way there, they hit a deer, which is the first blood of the movie we see. This deer felt kind of like a warning, foreshadowing the violence Chris was about to go through. It also relates to the expression “a deer caught in headlights,” which often describes a state of fear, paralysis, and a stunned expression which mirrors the expression Chris will have when going through hypnosis later on in the movie.
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The couple then gets pulled over by a white police officer who asks not only to see Rose’s identification, which is expected since she was driving the car, but also Chris’. Rose immediately rose to Chris’ defense but, by doing so, could have escalated the situation gravely. She doesn’t seem to understand social context and the fact that she could have done my harm than good for Chris had things escalated for the worst. Despite that, it seemed that her actions were made with good intentions. This scene was well done as it painted Rose as an ally that will speak up for Chris against injustices, whatever they may be, and that she will continue to do so throughout the movie. It gave the audience the belief that Chris would have someone looking out for him and gave us, in a way, someone to root for.
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When the couple gets to Rose’s family house, all seems well. The family seems decent enough, albeit a somewhat satirical version of the “perfect” suburban white family. They offer big smiles and seem welcoming to Chris, giving the audience a false sense of security and making them believe that the family will accept him. But that initial sense of foreboding was still present. The family, especially Rose’s father, Dean, seemed to be trying a little too hard to show Chris they were different from others, more open-minded, and not racist at all. He was telling Chris that he would have voted for Obama a third time if he could have and that he knew what having two black “servants” must look like and that he did not like it. The underlying racial tension throughout their exchanges makes the audience apprehensive about what will happen to Chris. The movie is good at making the viewers doubt and question whether something nefarious is going on or if the family is overcompensating and acting in a way they think would make Chris comfortable by using slang, for example, even if their behavior does the opposite. Things quickly shift when the family, Rose’s mother Missy especially, starts pushing Chris’ boundaries. They pry with questions regarding his childhood trauma, are incredibly judgmental of his smoking habits, and push for him to get hypnotized to make him stop, making the overall atmosphere deeply uncomfortable.
The uneasy and alarming atmosphere is at its peak when the garden party is happening. Indeed, it is filled with white people making downright disrespectful comments filled with microaggressions towards Chris. They fetishize black people with their racist ideals and make stereotypical and inappropriate comments, like saying, “black is in fashion now,” and one lady even goes as far as asking Rose if the rumors are true and if being with a black man sexually is better. They dehumanize him throughout the whole party. This is somewhat surprising because since they are in a liberal state, some might assume that these people would be more open-minded. However, there are hints that might point toward their beliefs. One of them is the fact that most, if not everyone, is, one way or another, wearing red. This color is often associated with the south and the Republican party which preaches white supremacist ideals. This is a subtle way of showing that there may be more to this party than meets the eye. Some are more obviously showing the color, such as wearing a red shirt, but for others, it is more subtle, such as having a red handkerchief, red lipstick, or red earrings.
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This party is also where Rose starts to show her true colors. She is wearing a red striped shirt which might point towards her affiliations. Rose’s betrayal of Chris and her unveiling as one of the villains is well done because she changes gradually. At the beginning of the movie, she is all smiles, defends Chris, and wears her hair down, but as the film progresses, she starts acting and dressing more clinically and starts gaslighting Chris. Whenever he tries to tell her how uncomfortable he feels, she makes a joke of it or puts the blame on him instead. So, while there are hints that might point towards her perhaps not being as authentic as we might have believed at first, it still comes as a surprise to know how big of a part she played in the plan against Chris.
Furthermore, in the garden scene, Peele shows a modern recreation of a slave auction. We see Dean next to a photo of Chris taking bids for his body. This demonstrates the sheer arrogance that comes with money and how, to this day, white people profit off black people and believe they are entitled to black bodies. Their money and entitlement make them believe that they can do and take whatever they want. This scene shows how they view black people as less than humans and as goods they can simply purchase. This scene is the confirmation that not only are these people racist, but they are planning to do something even more horrific to Chris. The fact that the viewers do not know what that is yet heightens the stress factor and the sense of foreboding. 
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The big plot reveal at the end, where the audience learns that the Armitage family abducts black people to use as vessels for the consciousness of the white people who bought them, was very well executed because it was surprising. Throughout the movie, there were hints that something might not be quite right with the other people of color in the house, but I personally would not have guessed the extent of what was being done to them. Also, I appreciate the fact that the movie kept its stressful atmosphere until the very end. Especially when the film starts making the audience believe that Chris will actually be able to save himself, only to see a cop car arriving. Instantly, when I saw the cop car, I believed that a white police officer would come out only to assume Chris to be the perpetrator and arrest him. So, when the film shows Chris' friend Rod getting out of the car instead, I felt such relief knowing that he would not be wrongfully accused and knowing that he would make it out of there safe. It felt like taking a first full breath after holding it for so long. 
In all, the film is an original take on the horror genre and shows how scary it can be not to have complete control of your body while still somewhat being there mentally. It shows how terrifying it would be to become trapped in your own mind and get lost within yourself. I found the film very interesting and well-paced. I enjoyed the way it kept me on my toes, waiting to see what was going to happen next. It offers a good commentary on modern racism and demonstrates how white people can appropriate black culture and bodies to benefit themselves.
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So, just for the record, I don't claim to havethe "right" answer to a single one of life's difficult questions about which people far more intelligent and knowledgeable than I can argue vehemently from opposite sides of the issue, each convinced beyond a shadow of doubt of the superiority of their viewpoint, each putting forth what seems to me a strong argument. If there is one truth I have accepted, although probably not nearly as early as I should have, it is that, unless there is some undeniable evidence for my claim, I should never present my personal beliefs, or preferences, regarding ANY subject, as objectively, or fundamentally "correct" and someone else's as flawed or inferior in some way. What I CAN do, when prompted, is spell out the reasons that a particular strategy, point of view, protocol, etc concerning a subject that is known to have inspired multiples of these. In other words, I am not going to presume to decide for EVERY SINGLE PERSON a course of action by labeling mine as "the best." All I can do is explain why I, personally, subscribe to it. Let me begin by saying that,while I posed a few questions about poly-amory, a lifestyle practiced by a shocking percentage of people I know. Now, not everyone shares a precise definition of the word. So, for sake of argument, we will presume that its defined as a couple who are regularly dating, perhaps even living together, but are completely free to date, see, fuck, etc anyone else at any time. Discussion with or,approval from their main partner is not required, nor is it to be expected. First of all, spare me the explanations regarding why some find this appealing. I understand why they do. Their goal, as I understand it, is to remain close to the person labeled their significant other, but refuse to pretend that they never e perience a desire to be with anyone else. They concede certain duties and activities are assigned to their significant other, but feel that, if it is the proper relationship for them, it will have no difficulty growing and evolving under these conditions. It's failure to do so represents proof that the relationship was not the right one for them. One person, a few months ago, actually accused me of "not understanding" polyamory and, therefore, in no position to comment on it. I would like to invite this particular person to fuck herself. First of all, EVERYONE understands it....there are so.e points left unmentioned in the interest of brevity....none are the slightest bit complicated. And, while I have a hunch as to why many people actually end up in this lifestyle, let's ignore my own opinion and focus on the stated goals of subscribers. To a person, they all state that they wish, mire than anything, to constantly improve their main relationship. But, and this is certainly true, human beings are a diverse lot. It is quite possible that some of their needs will be met famously by a main partner, while he/she may be utterly clueless concerning others. They can then seek different attributes and qualities from the huge pool of potential subpartners on the outside. Despite almost universal confidence and enthusiasm, I would never enter into this particular type of relationship. Fabtastic if it works for others, for me it would not. Before anyone is tempted to post a "seeking female virgin" ad in my inbox again, let me clarify that this does not mean that I subscribe to monogamy....in fact, it is well documented that, at some point, even the best relationships become a bit stale and mutual permission to both partners, by both partners to "step out" a bit actually makes all the sense in the world and may very well save many of the 55 percent of marriages that currently end in divorce, often with painful collateral damage. But, I would only agree to this under the following conditions"
: 1) Your main relationship...with the person labeled your "significant other" should be exclusive for a long period of time prior to becoming open. I used two years on my example, because studies have long shown that this is when the "fire" will almost always begin to die, no matter how much a couple loves one another, or how compatible they are. If you find someone who is a good match to be your long term partner, leaving the field alone for a lengthy period of time in order to build and strengthen your bond (how in the FUCK anybody expects to do this WHILE dating others, in the midst of a "main" relationship which, itself, is new, I'd beyond me. Then again, exactly one relationship I have ever partake in lasted two years, so....to each their own. Aside from that, there would have to be mutual agreement concerning who would be permitted to jump aboard this train at any point. If I have a significant other, but add a side or two with her blessing, I am bringing these people into HER life, not just mine....I would never do this without assuring myself she had no issues with it. I suppose I don't KNOW this, but I suspect that any extra curricular sex I engaged in AFTER finding someone I knew I wanted to remain with would likely be pretty casual, transitory even....I am sure some variety would be terrific at this point, but I do not subscribe to the "get these "needs" met through this person, and those "needs" with that one. I sure that "relationship" would not be the word I would use to describe sexual encounters outside of my intact relationship. I have taken no scientific poll on this, but it seems to me that couples who BECAME stingers after a long time together, who know one another very well, are respectful, first and foremost, of one another's boundaries and feelings can do well in the lifestyle. Those in the midst of a free for all.....I haven't seen much "development" of their primaries in the midst of this, but maybe I just don't understand it....yeah. That must be it.
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Henry, St. Patrick’s Day, and Gratitude-Conversation with Cory Monteith
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C: Hey.
K: Hey yourself. How are you?
C: I’m good. Happy to be here and back and all of that stuff. Wow, what a break, hey?
K: Yes. For sure. It was a break but not…if that makes any sense.
C: It does.
K: I have to thank you for the dream the other night.
While we’re getting comfortable, I see a glowing white mist to my left.
C: Thank me for what?
K: It doesn’t happen too often where you ghosts are physically there, and I can feel you. Paul and Chris have been the only ones. Man, you have broad shoulders, my friend.
C: (laughs) It takes a lot of energy to bring that through but it’s worth it. It really is. That’s when you know it’s real. I’m happy you remember that.
K: It’s easy to remember the physical feeling of someone in that dream state because I don’t really think it’s a dream state. I think it’s an actual place that I’m going to.
C: You could describe it like that. Yeah. What’s with you? What’s with the hesitation? I have to ask because we’re friends and I want to make sure everything’s cool. (sips on something from a mug then puts the mug down)
K: Henry…
C: (nods in understanding, looks up and shakes his head while rubbing his hands on his thighs) Uh huh. I get it.
K: It’s just…blah AND…technology hasn’t been my best friend. Wix is a great website host but lacks in communicating with me about comments and stuff.
C: You haven’t missed much. In any event, email…to reach people, can sometimes be better.
K: I agree. I get those immediately. 
C: The whole Henry thing…don’t worry too much about it. Paul’s a little…he’s got his back up about it too and Roth’s been around a lot so don’t worry too much about it. The guy was king because he was born into it. Not because he was good at it, or people hired him for the job. I’ve met him. I’ve been in on the meetings about him coming in but he’s just a…(laughs)…really nothing to worry about. He’s got an attitude…he’s like that guy in a bar that hits on women because he’s so full of himself and he’ll think he’ll score but his confidence…as Henry, isn’t much to talk about. You haven’t sat with him yet because he’s…how do I put this…(thinks) contract negotiations are stalling.
K: (laughing) That’s one way to put it.
C: He thinks he can just come in now when that’s not the case and he tries to sneak in but he’s always caught. There are a couple things he needs to agree to and he’s dragging his heals a bit.
K: Like what?
C: Being honest.
K: Ah. Got it.
C: We don’t do these things just because we can. We do them because there’s a point to all of it so if there’s going to be dishonesty like Mark pulled with you, it’s not happening.
K: Got it. Thanks for that. Thanks for looking out for me.
C: Always. What else?
K: It’s St. Patrick’s Day today.
C: It is. Cool. I loved St. Patrick’s Day.
K: I used to celebrate it, but I saw something that made me think.
C: Think out loud. What did you see?
K: I saw this post that said this woman didn’t celebrate it because it celebrates the day that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland.
C: Yes.
K: But she said that the snake was a symbol for the feminine…
C: It is.
K: And it symbolizes wisdom and…you know…shedding of the old paradigms and growing the new ones…fertility…all of that sort of feminine stuff that we seem to be seeing more and more of, coming back or rising up again.
C: Absolutely. (shifts easily and comfortably)
K: When St. Patrick was in Ireland at that time, he was there on behalf of Christ…God…the church where it was very male dominated in its beliefs. So, this woman was saying that actually, St. Patrick wasn’t driving the snakes out because of evil or Satan. He was driving the feminine out of Ireland so the masculine could…win…I guess?
C: (grins) That’s a very…That’s very Wiccan which dates back to Avalon.
K: Really?
C: Yeah. And I can see the connections. Wiccan…Avalon…the Goddess…Pegan…evil, considered evil, right?
K: Yes.
C: I would have to agree with her.
K: Really?
C: I would but because I can see that point of view from here. But…rather than not celebrate the day…because of those female vs. male beliefs that creates hate against the male and what they did with the female…why not celebrate the fact that the female…the feminine is returning and use this day as a reminder that yes, the male dominance tried to keep that feminine down but it didn’t work.
K: True.
C: There’s a lot of extremes right now and to use St. Patrick’s Day as something to, again, create that divide…I’m not surprised but there would be a huge difference when using celebration instead of resentment about what’s changing rather than what has happened.
K: Wow. That’s so true. I love that. Thank you.
C: She’s right. She’s absolutely right to look at the snakes being driven out of Ireland that way. But to use that as something to hold against celebrating and just having fun…that’s fine. They can go have their witchy parties over there and these other people can drink green beer or Guinness over here and maybe one day it will come together to celebrate as one whole understanding and that green river water can flow right under that bridge. (moves his hand in a flowing motion)
K: (chuckles) Very true.
C: Some people take a lot of this stuff really seriously and that’s fine. It just takes more energy to do that.
K: For sure.
C: Can I talk to you about something that I’m seeing a lot of.
K: Absolutely. The doctor is in.
C: Great. 
K: What’s up.
C: I really don’t want to repeat what’s already been talked about.
K: Sometimes repetition is the only way it will click.
C: Okay…
Feeling hesitation in my gut coming from him.
K: What’s up, Cory?
C: I really need to talk about gratitude.
K: Ah…okay.
C: I feel like the genuine gratitude is a little lacking. I feel like gratitude is being a bit manipulated right now.
K: Okay.
C: So…people try to practice gratitude to obtain more. If I’m grateful or show gratefulness, then I can receive more or I can string someone along so they give of themselves…freely…more and more to me.
K: What? Seriously? That’s happening?
C: (rubs his hands over his face while talking) So much. I see it so much and I just…what the actual fuck is going on, Kim?
K: Then the actual act of gratitude is being manipulated as sort of…using it as manipulation and trying to work a system.
C: Yes…(points to me) that’s it. That’s exactly it. And those who are aware of it or feel it but can’t put their finger on what they’re feeling…they start to hold back or hide away so they’re left alone because they are so depleted and feeling so used that they don’t want to offer anymore and it sucks. It really sucks.
K: I get that. Then tell me what gratitude is.
C: Gratitude is being thankful just because it feels good and it’s not asking for anything more than what’s received. Gratitude is…it creates self-confidence so there’s nothing else to get because you have the confidence to work at it or get it or manifest it yourself without the help of someone to hold your hand every step of the way. Gratitude is being thankful for where you are right now and not needing anything more because your life feels absolutely full in this moment…that’s all you need. Gratitude doesn’t make other people or situations work more or harder for your behalf. It’s actually creating this honoring of someone or something so that grows bigger and naturally wants to give more but maybe not to you but others because it already gave to you and that gratitude grows strength and energy to be able to do the same for someone else because you got your treat. It’s like…a kid getting a piece of candy…right…
K: Okay.
C: And they see that the other person has more candy and instead of saying thank you, but can I have some more…they say, thank you and points to someone else that could use a sweet treat.
K: That makes sense.
C: I’m just seeing a lot of this…manipulated gratitude going around, and it’s been frustrating for me.
K: Then how do we correct that behavior?
C: An easy exercise it to write down three to five things that you’re really grateful for and just leave it. It can be the smallest thing to write down but to write down what you’re grateful for and mark it with a period and not a semi-colon…is a good start.
K: Okay. That’s great. What else?
C: Pay it forward. If someone isn’t asking for anything in return, pay that forward and show thanks that you were able to give to someone else because of the graciousness of the person your received from.
K: Wow. That’s so amazing that you said that. I really resonate with that.
C: When you receive something, let it be that. Let it be what it is because gratitude isn’t saying thank you, resenting the offering because it didn’t meet your expectations and then going to search for more from someone else. That’s just feeding a need or an addiction and not practicing gratitude at all.
K: You’re seeing this happen?
C: I am. I’m seeing…how do I put this without triggering people? (thinks)
K: Just say it. Triggering is sometimes necessary.
C: Entitlement is taking the place of gratitude and gratitude is looking like entitlement.
K: Whoa.
C: Crazy, right?
K: So crazy.
C: An example of this…someone has known someone longer than most and because of that…they assume they’re more of a priority and they take that priority leaving the other person weary of even knowing them.
K: Is that an extreme case?
C: Unfortunately, no. Not anymore. The longer they’ve known someone…the more they can get for free and that’s with anything. Time, attention, advice, drama…favors…I’m seeing this a lot in relationships and connections. Instead of feeling gratitude for the love of someone, it’s an attitude of entitlement and “shoulds” (finger quote) put on that person. Knowing someone or knowing of someone isn’t a right. It’s a privilege.
K: WOW!!!!! Just WOW, Cory. Holy. I felt that in my soul.
C: It creates a lot of divide. That right vs. privilege thing is creating a lot of separation right now.
K: I’m quoting that!
C: Feel free. It would mean a lot to me if you would.
K: I will and in regard to all of this gratitude stuff, I see it. It’s like…practice gratitude but because you’re grateful. Not because you’re greedy.
C: YES!!! I’m quoting you. That was great.
K: Well, I mean, doing what I do, I see it. I’ve been on the receiving end of it, and I’ve been triggered by it. I think we all have at some point in our life, but I think the best that we can do is just…if we’re on the receiving end of feeling like we’ve been used or obligated to fill that entitlement of another…just practice forgiveness and move on.
C: It’s sort of this co-dependency sometimes where…that’s the only way a person feels seen…is to serve the feelings of entitlement that are disguised as gratitude because their egos like the compliments.
K: (laughing) Yeah. I feel that. Lack of self-esteem is that double edged sword for anyone.
C: Ugh…(smiles and shakes his head) Life on earth can be such a paradox. It can be so confusing trying to do everything right but anything that’s right is based on someone’s personal preference that became popular or sexy at some point in time.
K: For sure but I think that’s why you and…all these ghosts that come in and have these talks…they try really hard to help that and I’m totally grateful and humbled that it would be me they want to work with to get that done.
C: And I can honestly say that I’m…we…are so grateful that you’ve put up with our crap for as long as you have and everything we’ve unintentionally brought with us.
We pause and then just burst out laughing hard.
K: Oh, man. It’s been such a trip…such a TRIP, Cory.
C: We should get tacos again soon. I haven’t been there since the first time we went.
K: I haven’t eaten that way in a long time. I’d love to go. And thank you, again, for the hug the other night. Thank you so much. I know it takes a lot of energy to be physically physical to someone instead of just a moving image like on a television.
C: It does but it’s worth it and we haven’t seen each other for a while so it was my pleasure. I really wanted a hug.
K: You’re super sweet. Thank you. Thank you so much.
C: Thanks, Kim. I’ll let you go. How’s the foot?
K: Let’s not talk about it. I go again next week.
C: It’ll get healed up soon. It’s a good thing you’re getting it taken care of. What an annoying thing to have.
K: Yeah. It’s annoying but all good. See you soon.
C: Bye, Kim. Love you.
K: Love you back.
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biiedwin8 · 5 months
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Maladaptive Daydreaming: When Your Intrusive Thoughts Enter Your Daydreams
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Today, I'll address this question: the impact of your intrusive thoughts on your daydreaming tendencies? This concern arises because I observed someone state that their intrusive thoughts are merging with their daydreams. Previously, there was a clear separation between daydreaming, which you could control, and intrusive thoughts. However, now, these intrusive thoughts, characterized by discomfort and stress, may encompass thoughts about the past or aspects of your real life that you are neglecting. When these intrusive thoughts infiltrate your daydreams, it becomes very uncomfortable. What you once considered temporary relief now appears to exacerbate rumination and constant overthinking.
This integration of intrusive thoughts into daydreams occurs because both processes take place in the same mind. As you immerse yourself in an imaginary world during daydreaming, your thoughts from the real world may accompany you. You might attempt to make sense of these thoughts within your imaginary world, and you may find that in this mental space, you are now pondering the thoughts from your real world. This shift occurs because you are now concentrating or focusing on your real-world intrusive thoughts. Instead of shifting your focus to, for example, exploring imaginary friends, your focus returns to you, trying to make sense of your thoughts.
Another aspect to consider is that when you return from your daydream, you want to make sense of what transpired in your imaginary life. The more you attempt to make sense of it, the more you develop these intrusive thoughts. Problems often go hand in hand, and your problem with intrusive thoughts and uncontrollable daydreaming becomes a larger issue. The underlying issues for your daydreaming and intrusive thoughts are often the same, such as unprocessed trauma, negative beliefs, or underlying emotions.
To holistically work on yourself, you need to address the root causes. By doing so, you can improve the quality of your life comprehensively, not just put a stop to daydreaming. Even if you manage to halt daydreaming, intrusive thoughts may persist, as these are merely symptoms of underlying issues.
In summary, it's essential to delve into the root causes of your issues for a comprehensive solution. Don't seek therapy just to address one specific concern. Address the underlying problems, as this will lead to overall improvement in your life. Remember that problems are often interconnected, and a holistic approach is the most effective path to lasting solutions and personal growth.
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.
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faith-and-extracheese · 8 months
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Signs of Emotional Abuse
They (the potential abuser) yelled at me. It felt terrifying then, and it still feels terrifying now. I still have not been able to cope with this. I flinch a lot.
I feel scared of them even if they've never physically harmed me.
They threaten to leave/hurt themselves if I do something they don't like.
They manipulate you by crying and/or guilt-tripping you.
They covertly say mean things about you (Ex. "Can you change into jeans instead? I don't want you wearing these shorts (perfectly decent) in front of my friend" (I DONT EVEN WANT TO MEET HIM)
They don't allow you to/don't like it when you hang out with friends.
They don't allow you to wear certain things/makeup/hairstyles.
They constantly take their anger out on you even when you did nothing wrong. Projecting
They ignored your achievements ("You got a 95 on the test? Why can't you get that score on your other exams?") When I got commendations, won first prize in a math quiz. Never appreciated for what I already do.
They gaslight you (denying reality and making you question your own sanity as a result) Eg: I am NOT "supposed to" / CANNOT feel a certain way because reality "isn't" like what I have made in my mind
You feel as though you have to walk on eggshells around them
You're afraid of them
I feel like I don't have a voice around them
One person makes demands which the other person feels obliged to meet
Rules that dictate how you should live your life, do certain things or run the household, are another common way bullies attempt to overpower and control you
If you live in constant fear of upsetting this person's mood, because they are so unpredictable that you never know how they're going to react, their reign of terror is a clear sign of abuse
Abusers will pretend to feel guilty about something they've done, to manipulate you into minimising the transgression and focusing more on feeling sorry for them, so that you will forgive them and even console them
Abusive people often like being the victim. When they feel wronged by you, they regard you as “bad” and themselves as “good”. This way, they can justify their disproportionate anger towards you as well-deserved punishment and therefore hang on to it for a very long time
A manipulator is a master at getting you to do things you wouldn't normally do. They manage to convince you to act out of character, go against your beliefs or compromise your boundaries, because that would be better for you
Some abusive people expect you to ask their permission before doing certain things that adults would normally do independently, in order to control you
If someone blames you for their emotional state, you are being bullied. If they resent the fact that you are in a better state of mind and demand that your life revolves around their emotional well-being, the situation is abusive
Comments and actions that threaten your well-being and the relationship whenever you have a disagreement, are emotional blackmail and undermine the sense of security we all deserve within a healthy environment
When someone tries to force you into doing something or face negative consequences if you don't, you are being controlled with an ultimatum
Any attempt to control your access to resources such as finances, transportation, means of communication etc., should be seen as abusive because it robs you of your independence and freedom.
Being constantly criticised, leads you to believe you can't do anything right and that everything is your fault. It wears you down to the extent of believing you do not deserve any better.
Another sign of emotional abuse is if the other person places unrealistic expectations on you. Expecting you to share their opinions (i.e., you are not permitted to have a different opinion)
Demanding that you name exact dates and times when discussing things that upset you (and when you cannot do this, they may dismiss the event as if it never happened)
Being dissatisfied, no matter how hard you try or how much you give
Undermining, dismissing, or distorting your perceptions or your reality
Refusing to accept your feelings by trying to define how you should feel
Requiring you to explain how you feel over and over
Accusing you of being "too sensitive," "too emotional"
Refusing to acknowledge or accept your opinions or ideas as valid
Dismissing your requests, wants, and needs as ridiculous or unmerited
Suggesting that your perceptions are wrong or that you cannot be trusted by saying things like "you're blowing this out of proportion" or "you exaggerate"
Accusing you of being selfish, needy, or materialistic if you express your wants or needs (the expectation is that you should not have any wants or needs)
Making confusing and contradictory statements
If someone tries to use your emotions against you, this is a sign of emotional abuse.
Manipulating and controlling you by making you feel guilty; giving you a guilt trip
Humiliating my opinions & actions in public or in private
Using your fears, values, compassion, or other hot buttons to control you or the situation
Exaggerating your flaws or pointing them out in order to deflect attention or to avoid taking responsibility for their own poor choices or mistakes
People who are emotionally abusive often act superior and entitled.
Treating you like you are inferior
Doubting everything you say and attempting to prove you wrong
Telling you that your opinions, ideas, values, and thoughts are stupid, illogical, or "do not make sense"
Acting like they are always right, know what is best, and are smarter than you
Using sarcasm when interacting with you
Controlling who you see or spend time with, including friends
Treating you like a possession or property
Constant checking on or attempting to control the other person's behaviour
Emotional abuse is basically, being told how selfish you are … when you’re not.
Bringing up things that make me feel uncomfortable all ended up on how hard they have tried, and guilt tripping me for daring to blame them for something they did their “best”
Subjecting you to hypercriticism
Attempts at domination and control
Subjecting you to guilt trips
The person who is crushing your feelings on Tuesday treats you like royalty on Wednesday.
Anything can be the sound of emotional abuse. Her clinking of her bangles. And sometimes it sounds temporarily loving and caring, just long enough for you to think things have finally changed.
It’s being spoken to like an object or investment (absence of care)
It’s drowning in despair and reaching out to the people who are supposed to help you and being pushed under. It’s knowing that it is better to do nothing to suppress and bury every part of yourself than to make a decision and give your abuser another shred of yourself they can use against you.
Constantly arguing or opposing
Trivializing the other person's concerns
If during any conflict with the other person, you feel as if you are being bullied, disrespected, belittled, insulted, or dismissed, these are signs that it may have crossed the line into emotional abuse.
And it is the silence you respond with when other people who don’t understand tell you “it can’t be that bad it’s your mother/father”.
Terrified that they might abandon me, and that I would die because they'd chosen not to take care of me anymore.
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journalbyjordan · 11 months
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On Building a New Frame Of Reference
“My uncle would tell me ‘The sh-t in the movies could only be magic’. This year I did 43 shows, and took it all home to buy him a casket.”
— ‘Savior Interlude’, Baby Keem & Kendrick Lamar
These lines have stuck out to me for months because of their poignance, and I in fact became teary eyed listening to them over as it dawned on me that life really is all about your frame of reference.
Keem’s uncle saying “must be magic” would’ve signalled to me a sense of still having some reserved hope that it could be something else, or even possible. but the phrasing of “could only be magic” signals to me that he’s completely resigned — he cannot see a possibility where what happens in movies could ever actually occur. Making it worse is that this is in response to a movie, which yes being an art form, it could be argued is supposed to mirror or imitate life but movies are also a device for freedom of the imagination, and even in his most expansive dreams he couldn’t see what happens in the movies to be more than fantasy. All because he had never seen that ‘magic’ on his own life or experiences.
I think about how Keem himself would’ve turned out had he adopted the same or a similar frame of mind and perspective. Had he not been able to dream beyond his circumstances and his immediate world, he wouldn’t be on tour or left the country or likely left his home state or neighbourhood. I realise this is likely the point of the line itself but his uncle dying with that perspective is heart-wrenching because he died still under the impression that better was not possible, and any depiction of it must be an illusion. He was sure of this.
***
I came across the term ‘realistic fantasy’ a few days ago in a comment where a user said every year he tries to do 2-3 things he’s always wanted to do. After taking some time to write out my own list of those things, I started to see myself very differently in terms of what I truly do value and had to ask myself why were these fantasies to me? What is telling me that these experiences are inaccessible or unlikely, or even unattainable to me or for me? Why do I feel like slow dancing in a jazz bar is such an outlandish thing that could only take place in my wildest dreams? There’s no shortage of jazz bars, especially in London, and granted there’s also a large emotional connection component to these dreams, but why are intimacy and being cherished things of fantasy to me? Of course these things are foreign to me, and to link back to Keem’s uncle, frame of reference means that the foreign, unfamiliar and unexplored is rejected, instantly becoming a thing of mythology. Your frame of reference dictates the purview of this foreign thing and dictates what you even allow in.
All of this made me wonder how I can list nearly 40 of my own ‘realistic fantasies’ and have things like ‘Host a small dinner party with my close friend group’ and yet in the present and in practice, I subconsciously keep my friends at a distance by not replying or replying late, which is a form of self rejection. I clearly recognise that in my wildest dreams I have very deep, loving and fulfilling friendships but don’t actively recognise that in my day to day. I’ll often pop back up after a long while, and my friends will be extremely excited to hear from me, but what is better understood is a friend leaving because of my inconsistency; that I can process and see as ‘real’ somehow, likely because it is what is familiar to me; i.e. my frame of reference. It’s something I know how to identify: being given up on is familiar and it happening once more just reaffirms the belief that I am indeed someone who is given up on. Yet, again, in my own realistic fantasies I don’t want that to be my reality at all, despite me acting in direct contradiction to that in my actual, present day life.
***
One thing I’ve learnt, and continue to be reminded of, is that cognitively and theoretically understanding something is not at all the same as believing or intrinsically understanding something. So although I can piece this all together and it sounds pretty, I believe the most important part or takeaway is to build a new frame of reference for myself. I remember teaching a friend a few years older than me how to ride a bike a few years ago, and that friend later also coming out to me over the phone. We had a really great friendship that kind of faded out as time went on, which I eventually just accepted likely because it didn’t seem to out of the ordinary at the time. I think it’s easy to get so lost in your ‘normal’ that you begin to automatically apply a confirmation bias to yourself without trying. Until you look up one day and realise the whole time you’ve been running from, and rejecting, exactly what you’ve been chasing all along, which is related but a whole other thing to go into. Regardless, the moral: better is always possible.
***
Dedicated to A.J.;
Thank you for showing me that better is always possible.
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stonewallsposts · 1 year
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16 personalities questions: 55-57
55. You often feel overwhelmed 
Not really.  'nuff said. 
56. You complete things methodically without skipping over any steps 
That's the ideal. Unfortunately, my brain doesn't always go according to script. I like to blame this on my creativity, but I'm not the most detail oriented guy you're ever going to run across. That's part of the reason I resort to making lists as much as I do- it's an attempt to make up for my natural lack of organization.  
So I'm not sure if the statement is supposed to be evaluated more on where I am right now, which would include steps taken by me to counteract my nature; or if it's meant to evaluate my natural state. I'll go with the first since that's where I think I've answered most of these. Even then, I'm gonna land myself just one step over from neutral towards the disagree, so a 5. 
57. You are very intrigued by things labeled as controversial 
Hmmm, good question.... or statement. 
I mean, at least on the political questions, I'm aware of how much 'team think' we can fall into, and I've determined to not just blindly listen to what my own side says about an issue. For this reason I've decided to read up on Socialism from its sources. I want to know what they actually said and believed, and evaluate the beliefs on their own merits, not by listening only to what people on the conservative side have to say about it. The same goes for so many of the big topics today: whether it's critical race theory or trans ideology, I want to know what they actually say, and be able to restate their beliefs even to their satisfaction. Only then can I have any chance of reasonably confronting the parts that I have problems with. 
There may be other things that I'm less interested in that would be controversial. But even then, I'm basically unwilling to comment on things unless I know something about them. Otherwise I'll just end up sounding like an idiot to the people who do know the topic.  
It also dawns on me that perhaps this could be understood as being drawn to a controversial opinion or something. Perhaps how much of a contrarian I might be. I will have to admit that I do have something of a contrarian I might be. In this sense, I'm much more conservative. I'm interested purely in the sense of trying to understand where people are coming from, not in participating in them .
Almost done. One more set of statements and then it's on to the test results.
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When terfs scoff at "gender studies" by stating that it's not a "real" science, they are playing into anti feminist mra talking points.
Like they try so hard to be "not like other girls" they fail to realize that they are doing antifeminist talking points for them. How stupid of a woman do you have to be to not see how discrediting an entire scientific field soley based on the topic they are researching (gender) is literally what men WANT you to do?
"Look at me, I'm so RADICAL" says the anti feminist woman perpetuating the sexist notion that gender studies is a "biased" field and "not a real science like biology" in order to subjugate 0.7% of the population to feel "powerful." Like, my sister in christ, you realize that 0.7% of american adults identify as trans* right (the number of trans women would be like half or a third of that number). You think you're going to stop rape by humiliating and oppressing less than 1% of the adult population?
Jesus, and you say we're the idiots?
And that's not even getting into the fact that literally ALL science is "real" science, as long as they are following the code of ethics that is EVER CHANGING and being updated as we grow MORE tolerant as a society. You're trying so hard to justify to yourself why you hate trans people, specifically trans women, so much that you are falling into the trap of siding with antifeminists and rapists to make your flawed, scientifically inaccurate analysis of gender.
You sit here and say that biology states that gender is a social construct and therefore, it's fake. But here is the thing, you cannot provide me any biology source that specifically that gender is "fake" ONLY that it is MUTABLE unlike sex which is immutable, and that gender is a social construct that is defined culturally. None of this says that "gender is fake" or that "gender is an immaterial reality."
Both of these statements are false. If you are up to date on psychology and specifically gender psychology, you would know that gender is a material reality for EVERYONE. We live in a gendered society, gender affects everyone's lives, male or female, man or woman or intersex or nonbinary or trans or two spirit or whatever other gender categories we have out there of which there are MANY.
Just because something is a social construct doesn't mean that it is "fake" or an "immaterial reality." By your logic, women aren't oppressed at all because after all gender is fake, right? Like, it makes no sense what you're arguing about. Your logic is full of contradictions and antifeminist talking points and you cannot even fucking see it. It's ridiculous.
This isn't even to mention the fact that using biology to advocate for any sort of systemic oppression of any group is quite literally a white supremacist tactic. Every single hate group that has attempted to do so has been ridiculed and eventually stomped out of existence, you will be no different. You will not go down as "radical feminists" but instead you will be remembered as one of the most misogynistic groups in our history. It will be a shameful legacy and you will be depised by society.
The only way to save yourself is to deprogram your beliefs. Question the logic behind your beliefs. Do you really believe about 0.3 percent of the adult population is commiting the rape and murder of women? Do you understand that trans women do not typically transition as queer and can in fact and often do transition as a straight woman? They don't even want to fuck you, but you're worried about maybe being raped by a trans woman when you should be much more concerned with the realities of cis, white men. 1993 is when spousal rape was banned everywhere in the us. Up until then, white men were consistently married at around 70-90% of the population for centuries until it was made illegal to rape your wife. Boom. Divorce skyrocketed as a result. Most white men older than 40 are rapists. This is a factual, actual, historical reality.
Before you comment that's an unfair assumption to make of married men back then, i will remind you that white men stripped away their wives right to choose healthcare options just a few days ago and white men didn't stop terrorizing black people (in terms of slavery because they never stopped lets be real) until hundreds of thousands of their own kind were killed to allow black people their personhood legally. Quite frankly, i went to college in 2015 with anti rape posters and campaigns everywhere on campus. Please shut up about ur not all men bullshit.
These were cis men that married you for the sole purpose of beating and raping you. Why are you focused on .3 percent of a population, some of which don't even want to fuck women at all?, when the bigger issue is your daddies, your grand daddies, your brothers and uncles and best friends and co workers? Why aren't you shining a light on the ACTUAL reality?
Grow up, loser. Your disconnect with your material reality is showing.
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informaticn · 3 years
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the additions to the red room get more nonsensical as you go down the list when you think about it bc 
first we have the bl/ack widows,   the original   &   only was natalia   &   later yelena joined her rank.
then they added various miscellaneous bl/ack wi/dows that they very often don’t even bother to name much less give any kind of backstory or information on beyond   “ orphan, “   for some reason.   i can think of one that had a name but i can’t actually remember her name rip.
after them,   there’s the red widows,   of which there are i believe only two,   ava   &   a currently unnamed woman who’s part of the winter guard.   ava isn’t actually a confirmed member of the red room   &   it’s implied that her name came from the combination of her admiration of natalia’s strength   &   wanting to be more   “ reliable “   than her,   but the unnamed woman apparently was affiliated with the red room in some way.
we also have the wolf spiders which is the male equivalent of the bl/ack wi/dows that never gained traction bc nico,   the original trainee,   was too uncontrollable   &   they shut it down before producing any wolf spiders.
then we also have recluse who is more or less detached from the red room bc she wasn’t technically trained in or by it,   but who is still affiliated with it bc her mother was a trainer or something in it???
i don’t know what’s happening please marble stop this
#does marble know that it can stop at literally any time#we don't...  they don't need to keep adding onto the red room they really don't#i don't fucking know how the red widow slots in bc that's not explained as far as i'm aware#&  i'm 99% sure they completely forgot they even had ava when they came up with the unnamed lady#bc she's just nowhere to be seen  &  red widows were not a thing in the red room before#wolf spiders are fine i guess or they were until everyone started saying that nico had a bad reaction to the biochemical enhancements#which is literally not written in canon anywhere  &  only serves to remind me that cornell's writing exists still#( as a note on that sentence apparently people believe this to be what happened to nico#bc cornell wrote ivan losing his fucking mind  &  people attached him  &  nico together with their enhancements#that is also not written in canon tho but whatever i don't wanna talk about cornell's writing )#i don't understand the concept of making a bunch of widows  &  then not using but like one or two in any significant way#like they might as well have left the story alone as nat being the original  &  only widow if they were still only gonna use her#recluse is just a mess top to bottom from her timeline to her skillset#( which is not a comment to my often stated belief that it makes no sense she could take nat  &  bucky without breaking a sweat#&  more a comment to the fact that she appears to only have a handful of years in training#bc it's implied she didn't begin training until adulthood  &  she appears to have no espionage skill whatsoever#so i'm not sure what the fuck her skillset is supposed to be for outside of her needing to be a better fighter than nat )#honestly it kind of feels like marble knows that the red room  &  the history of it is entirely irrelevant to stories at large#but they want to keep referencing it so people don't forget it so they just keep adding new shit onto it#but they don't bother to think about the shit they've already added onto it so everything all together just makes no sense at all#when will i finish this doc  &  be free of this nightmare#i haven't even started on the win/ter sol/dier bit bc i have to figure out how to make that vague but slightly informative#( well informative as far as his involvement in the bl/ack wi/dow  &  wolf spider ops goes anyway )#for the sake of it making sense but not risking overwriting any specific canon for bucky#ooc     /     shit posting from marble's basement.#delete.
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