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#( we had a good run though. i'll miss that blog )
bread--quest · 4 months
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It's 2012 somewhere. Welcome.... to Night Vale Tumblr.
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👁️ nvcr-official
Hi guys! I'm Intern Sarah! Excited to be joining you all!
👁️ nvcr-official
To the friends and family of Intern Sarah, she was a good intern and social media manager, and we are sorry to see her go. We will work to find a new intern as soon as possible.
83 notes
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🦉 dark-owl-records
CALL OUT POST FOR CECIL PALMER
hes gotten away with shit for too long and im sick of it. tl;dr horrific intern mistreatment with no compensation, mountain denier, homophobic
keep reading
❌ number-one-moonhater Follow
Hey uh. Aren't you a company account? Why are you posting this
🦉 dark-owl-records
L + ratio + god forbid women do anything + your music taste is trash
🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow
Isn't Cecil literally gay?
🦉 dark-owl-records
he's homophobic
🪼 jeebyfish Follow
he has a husband...
🦉 dark-owl-records
yeah and he won't fucking shut up about it
2,500 notes
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🤫 cecils-private-blog
Carlos hasn't liked any of my woodcarving posts in THREE DAYS!! I'm so scared what if he's going to break up with me :((
👁️ nvcr-official
Cecil he's your husband he's not breaking up with you. also this isn't a private blog you just put private in the url
🤫 cecils-private-blog
HOW DID YOU SEE THIS
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🏜️ sandeater Follow
tamika flynn spotted in ralph's dairy aisle "slaying" the milk
🦂 scorpiansscuttle Follow
op i know this is a joke but one time i was in the ralphs dairy aisle and there was some butter up on a really high shelf and someone said "don't worry, i'll get it" and i turned around and it was fucking tamika flynn
☁️ average-weather-enjoyer Follow
fake story :/
📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram
No it's true I was there
🚂 traintonowhere Follow
TAMIKA FLYNN??
🏜️ sandeater Follow
what the fuck is happening on my post
8,345 notes
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👁️ nvcr-official
can you guys please stop sending cecil weird shit... i don't want to have to explain to my boss what a dilf is
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🐚 mariella-shella
Hey guys!! Sorry for the lack of posts recently! I entered a hole in the wall and when I got out I realized I didn't know how long I'd been in there, or where I was, or who I am, and I'm not sure that I'm still the person who entered that hole however long ago. Anyway, the normal posting schedule will resume as soon as I remember what my normal posting schedule was, and if I'm still the person who had that posting schedule!
🌪️ sandstorm-gf Follow
omg mariella!!! missed u so much girl glad ur back!
🐚 mariella-shella
i miss me too
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😎 Anonymous asked: Response to the homophobic allegations?
🎙️ cecilpalmer
Huh??
🎙️ cecilpalmer
@nvcr-official What does this mean? Is it new slang?
👁️ nvcr-official
uhhhh dont worry about it buddy
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🧤 missy-mittens Follow
hey guys im in quarantine for eating wheat and wheat byproducts uh...send asks?? i might be in here for a while lmaooo
🧤 missy-mittens Follow
oh lights in the sky its been 5 years since i made this post
☁️ glowcloudapologist Follow
how's it going op
🧤 missy-mittens Follow
i miss my family
506 notes
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🐚 mariella-shella Follow
hey if anyone remembers anything about the person running this blog can you tell me? trying to recover the fragments of my identity from the void of memory lol
🥔 potato-enthusiast Follow
you were really hot
🐚 mariella-shella Follow
FUCK YEAHHHHHH
89 notes
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🦉 a-weird-bird Follow
just a reminder that new residents of east night vale are fully welcome to interact with this blog!!!! you will not be harassed and any hate will be blocked. this blog is safe even if this town isn't sometimes <3
🌻 sunflowergirl Follow
This is so sweet, thank you so much! Just so you know, even though it's officially called East Night Vale now, a lot of people still call it Desert Bluffs! Just thought you might want to know :)
🦉 a-weird-bird Follow
i'm not calling it that sorry
🌻 sunflowergirl Follow
What??? Why??
🦉 a-weird-bird Follow
just kind of sucks. as a name
🌻 sunflowergirl Follow
?????????
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🐄
⬜️ kentuckymeatshower_deactivated11051983
what does this mean....
🌌 cece-xeze Follow
another great post from huntokar herself
16,683 notes
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🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow
🌲 little-miss-ectoplasm Follow
you don't like pine cliff? 👻 oo ooo?
👁️ nvcr-official
NIGHT VALE SWEEEEEP
806 notes
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😁 the-happy-smiler Follow
Hi everyone!! Since Twitter went down, I figured I'd try my hand at this Tumblr thing! I'm so excited to meet all of you!! Hope you're ready for some pictures of CENTIPEDES!! Feel free to AMA about the Smiling God!
👁️ nvcr-official
I
🦉 dark-owl-records
N
🎙️ cecilpalmer
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📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram
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🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow
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🚂 traintonowhere Follow
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🦉 a-weird-bird Follow
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🌌 cece-xeze Follow
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🐚 mariella-shella Follow
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🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow
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hrdenha · 8 months
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— office hours | p.js
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synopsis: you're stressed, still a virgin, and wanted to get laid. you wanted it to be a complete stranger. luckily, for you, there's one who's been watching you from the vip rooms.
pairings: stranger!park jongseong x office worker/virgin!reader
warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. drunk reader, still with consent of course, basically asking some stranger to get her virginity, jay's big 👀, fingering, penetration, breeding kink, c*ck warming, oral s*x (f receiving)
AUTHOR'S NOTE — !
and i am backkk! it's been awhile since i posted here but tbh, i still have so many drafts in this blog. i dont know when i can finish it and post it but I'm hoping for the absolute best. please, turn a blind eye whenever you see errors and misspelled words. this is not yet edited and i just finished writing this a few minutes ago.
oh! and don't forget to check out some of my works and enjoy! also, let me know what u think in the comments or reblogs 🫶
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"So, let me sum this up..." Ryujin held up her right hand for a 'pause' before drinking her Starbucks cup as if she needed the strong savor of coffee to stay sane on something that was about to go on.
"So you wanted to get laid but you're still a virgin and you don't know someone who can do you?"
Is it just you, or did ryujin just emphasize the words 'you', 'get laid', and 'virgin'? Is it that hard to believe? Is the idea THAT crazy?
"Yes, and please lower your voice" You hissed at her which Karina chuckled, all while trying to cover your face with your right hand; as you turned your head back when a group of employees walked past the three of you.
"How about, chan?" Karina suggested. "From the I.T. unit? He looks so good and IS good"
Both you and ryujin make a revolted face, "Ew. How do you know?" The woman beside you asked that karina just responded with a simple shrug before looking away to sip on her coffee.
You shook your head, "I don't want the person to know me and vice versa. I think I need a complete stranger to help me... with this" The word 'stranger' dragged in between your teeth when you groaned at your so-called 'problem'.
"Is that your new fetish?" Ryujin teasingly smiled at you, jutting her eyebrows up and down, making you roll your eyes.
"but seriously what? we can't just throw you to some man on the street, y/n. what if he's a good-for-nothing asshole?" ryujin replied with karina agreeing on her side. "But seriously, y/n what's the rush? I mean, I'm not the sentimental type of a person obviously..." The blue-haired woman rolled her eyes, "but would it even hurt if you wait a little bit more? for a person you know and are comfortable with?"
You exhaled, karina has a point though "I know but it's been bugging me. I don't like rushing things like this but it keeps me from experiencing 'that' level of fun. It feels like I'm missing something. I want to live my life a little, not that I'll sleep with everyone I laid my eyes but you know? Having fun without thinking of some limitation is such a temptation."
Both of your girls nodded, telling you that they understand. "Okay, let's go with plan B. After work this thursday, let's go to this bar I knew" This time, it's your turn to nod silently thanking your friends that they're supportive.
Your mind flies elsewhere as you try to convince yourself that your choice is fair, something that was not bad but also not good.
You're not lying when you told your friends that you don't like rushing things like this. Originally, you just wanted to go with the flow. If you'll get into a serious relationship, which is far away to happen because you're a career-oriented woman— then you'll give it to someone who deserves it. Of course, you had a fair share of relationships; a tough one on top of that.
Maybe it was the trauma. Having a relationship running for almost 2 years and then suddenly opening your eyes to see your boyfriend, heads up manipulating you was exhausting. That's why you didn't hesitate to break up with your boyfriend who tried to manipulate you into having sex with him while having a sexual relationship with his branch manager in a strictly no-office romance setting.
Of course, it didn't end with just the breakup. Of course, you wouldn't let him prey against other women again. No, it's not your type at all. You wanted to cripple him... big time. And so, you print all his soliciting of nudes amongst the women in their branch and the sexual conversation with his manager he's been having an affair with; even manage to ladle some CCTV footage where the two of them had sex in one of the office room then sent it anonymously to the head office of the company which resulted in his and the woman's contract to be terminated.
After that chaotic incident, you never opened up your heart to everyone. You just basically drowned yourself in work that resulted in you becoming the head manager of your own team.
At first, you're contented, happy even. You stepped up your game at work with nothing but your schedule as the first source of conflict in your life. The fact of you, being not in a relationship and a virgin on top of that, didn't really matter to you except last month when things started to happen.
The corporation you've been working at got a huge project that resulted in all the manpower to work causing you to be a little irritated. It's not the first time you handled such a huge project but if incompetent people will continuously be incompetent, then someone will definitely be on edge for days. You're convinced it was just the fatigue and stress. Of course, what else could it be? but then your cousin, Jake, told you otherwise.
"You're a little bit snappy these days, y/n" you smelled the oddly familiar aroma of Macchiato behind that even you can't help but to taste it on the tip of your tongue.
Jake emerges from behind you, mumbling a soft 'here' as he gently puts down the glass of the drink he personally made that he knew your favorite.
Your hands immediately glued to the cup taking a delicious sip before looking up to him, humming as the familiar taste of sweetness and vanilla hit your tongue, "It's nothing, just got a big project so we've been working nonstop"
"You need to relax"
"Believe me, I will..." You nodded your head, not looking at your cousin while your point finger keeps scrolling through the documents. "Just not now, maybe after this because work is currently kicking my ass off"
"Nah, bro. You don't need to wait for your work to finish in order to relax. You just need to get laid and then it will all go"
After Jake told you that, how can he walk out of your room as if nothing happened? Now, how can you function properly when you are mostly convinced that you really need to get laid in order to remove all the stress?
At first, you become in denial. You tried doing it the traditional way. Got yourself your favorite scented candle, play your favorite movie, a nice warm bath, and your friend, the pink vibrator after you bridged the project into a success that made the company give your whole team a two weeks vacation and an added bonus.
You become contented again. Turns out you don't need a man and sex just to relax, right? Wrong. Not until another project came up and you were on edge again, that's when you accepted your pain and resorted to your friends that put you in this situation.
Why can't God or someone high above drop a respectable, career-oriented man like you with a big dick and high stamina to fuck the stress out of you, straight on your lap? But no, that would be too good to be true.
Days easily passed by and here you are now, at Karina's house while she attempts to doll you up. You're used to wearing make-up, also because of your job where it is needed to look presentable at all times. What you're not accustomed to is wearing makeup with the purpose of getting laid.
"Drink this" Karina hand you a glass of water? Your hands took it unconsciously but give her a confused look where she just mouthed 'vodka'. That's when you realize all three of you have your own 'vodka' in your hands.
"... for what?" you ask carefully still confused as to why they drink vodka when there's a lot or you mean a LOT of alcoholic drinks at the bar later. You saw the two women behind you look at each other in the mirror before laughing. "Aww, this poor thing" Karina coos, "Luckily, she have us" Ryujin pouted before walking on your supposed-to-be outfit that was still in the box that she had delivered this morning.
"You need that so you'll be tipsy even before we get to the club" Karina replied when she saw your still confused face. She holds a makeup brush in front of you before whispering, "Don't worry, little tiger. We'll sharpen your claw and make you run free" You close your eyes tightly at the thought while feeling the brush on your lips. Dang, are you really that old potato?
"Try to be bold, y/n... remember that" Karina whispered as she brush another dab of the 'boldest' color of eyeshadow on your lids just like she said. "You're confident and bold, and we love that but it's not for the right thing as of now. This is not the job, not for hunting clients or something. Your purpose is to get laid, to have some dick in your mouth, okay?" ryujin added that made you playfully hit her.
"And... done!" Karina squealed, softly tucking an unwanted hair off your forehead. "Damn, you're so hot!" The girl made a 'cat claw' with her hands teasing as you stand in front of the full-body mirror across her room.
You were wearing a red mini dress that has a perfect cut-out on your solar plexus, partnered with a stylish necklace and simple earrings. The color made your hair and sultry makeup stand out.
Yes, you look good and you'll give karina and ryujin a thumbs up for helping you with the right make-up and dress but also, you can't help but cry inside when the skirt would slide up when you walk making your hands automatically pull it down again.
Ryujin slaps your hands, "No! No touching the dress, I'm not gonna let you slouch all day just because you wanted it to be below the knee length"
"It keeps riding up!" You pouted, "It's helping you get a dick tonight by practically displaying your ass" Ryujin replied before clicking her tongue, "Just let it slide the hell it wants, you look fine. Dang, you look so good, girl!" She added before pulling the three of you outside with the taxi waiting.
The bar was loud and dark. It has a bright light flashing in every direction and was packed with people. As the three of you walk towards the tunnel, the loud music slowly become prominent, the same with people greeting the girl you're with. "Karina!" Some guy called that she just responded with a kiss, "Who's this?" He asks looking at your figure up and down. "I didn't know we have a new meat coming up"
"You'll taste it if it wants to be eaten later so watch out but for now, we're here for a girl's night out and no boys are allowed" Karina responded for you, slightly pushing the guy out of the way and pulling both you and ryujin inside. Karina's action made you sigh in relief, you were getting uncomfortable at the guy's stare. It felt like he was stripping you naked. Will you be able to pull this off?
"How are we supposed to talk?" You talk loudly at ryujin's ears which made her laugh. "Just relax and have fun, y/n. Let it all out, just relax" She said patting your back before giving you a drink that karina ordered before.
"Have this... hope this helps you calm down" And she's right, you indeed got calm as the sweet taste of the cocktail hit your tongue. A little while and you were downing drinks after drinks. You even pulled your friends into the dance floor yourself, you were indeed having fun. In fact, too much fun.
It was just a cocktail, but you down a sweet cocktail into a shot of tequila real quick. And no, you're not drunk and you know it. You still know what you're doing, still, know what you're saying, and can still process what is happening around you. It's just that you were far more relaxed than the first time you walked through the entrance of this bar.
As you dance with your friends on the dancefloor, your eyes thoughtlessly linger on the second floor where the VIP rooms are located. And there you saw a man in a full expensive suit that perfectly fit and hug his body— standing on the veranda just in front of the stage where the dancefloor was located. He has a drink in his left hand while the other was tucked away in his pocket. You don't know if you're seeing this clearly but you swore, you saw him looking down directly at you. The man was sipping on his cup, hooded eyes still looking at you, watching you like a hawk observing its prey.
You want to blame it on alcohol, you were getting brazen and you like it. If it's true that the mysterious man WAS really looking at you then you have to give him a show, right?
And so you started to dance more sensually, feeling yourself like there's no tomorrow, even biting your lips. It was a bonus that an equally sexy song played at the right time. That made your hips unconsciously grind, making your friends hype you up even more. The time you look up again, the man was gone. Not a single person was standing on the second floor. The man suddenly vanishing in your eyes made you feel disappointed but didn't let it ruin your fun. Now, that's your main agenda, aside from hunting for a dick, of course.
When the song finished, you excused yourself from the dance floor to fetch yourself a drink. Well, that goes your social battery. It finally hit zero and right now, you need ice-cold water to help with your burning body. You walked towards the counter and requested your drink. Enough with the dance, now, all you want to do is drink in peace.
Which men never really understand. The whole time you were there, a handful of guys try giving you their company but you politely turn them down, not giving them a chance to see through you even though you can feel the liquor slowly hitting your senses. Your eyes unconsciously traveled towards the second floor where the reticent man was standing before. The rooms look expensive plus there are bouncers standing at the entrance of the stairwell.
If that man was real, then he was surely loaded. Lucky.
Your mind woke up when there was a shout coming from the other side of the bar. A fight just broke out and they were causing a scene. You don't know why but your head turns again towards the stairs going upstairs to the VIP rooms. The bouncers who were standing there before were now gone, maybe to assist with the fight.
Your lips slowly curved upward, feet straightly walking towards the stair and onto the second floor. There's a series of rooms and you took your time looking inside each of them. Finally, you reached the room at the far corner of the hallway. You were about to pull the lever handle when you noticed it was not closed, the door was just slightly agape and music was coming inside.
You slowly push it open and see a man in a suit sitting on the couch with papers on his hands. There are a few bottles of liquor on the table. Wine, Champagne, beer; you name it and it'll be there.
The man quietly looks at you, still waiting for your next move. You didn't know if this is the same man you saw earlier. But one thing is for sure, he is handsome: aura never failed to make your skin shiver.
As a career woman, him sitting expensively on the couch with a folder in his hands, while wearing black specs and a watch was so hot to see. It made your mouth water. It was as if the man was a blessing from the heavens and you really like him.
Your mouth can't help but release a giggle at the thought before finally letting yourself in and closing the door with your weight, your fingers turning their locks.
Maybe it was the alcohol, the liquor in your system was making you bold... making you brave as if you were in an illusion. You were in a perception that you mostly can do anything at this point.
You started walking in his direction, the man raise his brow, throwing the paper at the table not really caring if it got wet before shifting his position. His arms were now resting at the top of the couch as he manspread. Damn, he's so sexy.
His exorbitant suit really matched this place. The warm light that elucidates some parts of the room made his skin glow. He was so perfect, his eyes are soft but his thick eyebrows make them narrow and his hair... his perfect black hair slicked back completed his look.
He's a 10, a heaven on the place called Earth. You wanted him that's why you finally did the sole purpose of why you're here.
You approach his face and the manly fragrance immediately hit your senses, he smells good almost like a sophisticated noble. "You... I really like you" Your fingers seductively played with his tie before tugging it harshly closer to you, "Can you take my virginity... please?" Your voice drawled, staring intently into his eyes so that you can even see them mirror your lines.
It didn't go unnoticed on your sight the way his adam's apple bobbed, it made you release a snarky smile. "I believe you're drunk, miss" He coughed trying to compose himself and he didn't fail. The vulnerability you saw earlier fade almost immediately at the same time you noticed it.
"Too bad... I can clearly see you being turned on" You pouted, eyes gesturing at the forming tent on his pants; his eyes trailing behind.
"And, are you sure I'm drunk?"
"Well, are you?" He asks, the low tone of his voice making your skin shiver. You shake your head, smirking at him before grabbing a half-empty bottle of champagne and taking a drink of it. Oblivious, at the pair of eyes who are watching you with so much amusement.
"So..." You crawled on top, straddling him. Your lips can't help but smirk when you feel him jutting out his legs more for you. "Will you do me?"
"Don't need to tell me twice, kitten" His lips crashed with yours. Both lips molded perfectly with each other, and his teeth tugged at your lower rim demanding an entrance. The sudden stipulation made you smile in between your kiss and the way he deepens it made you think that he can't get enough of you.
The man pulled off from the kiss, heavy eyes setting on you while his hands feel your legs. "Come with me" He whispered leaving a butterfly kiss on one of your shoulders.
He gently pushes you off his lap before pulling you outside. There's another door aside from the one you use to get in, the said door was connected to a hallway where a modern elevator was waiting at the end of it. The two of you get inside and the man didn't waste the chance to once again entangled your bodies. He traps you on one of the corners, closing the space between the two of you with his body.
His lips immediately found yours, groaning when your lips caught him openly. Your arms can't help but unconsciously snake to his neck from the spur of the moment. He grabs your right leg, attaching it to his hips grinding himself on your clothed pussy
'Ding!' The elevator opened at its designated floor. The man pulled you again until both of you stops in front of a room. He snake his hands on his pocket, you noticed something black like a card. It must be a key card since he swipe it before the door automatically opens.
He pulled you in again before closing the door with your weight, kissing you hard again as if it was the first time he ever tastes you. The man scopes you up, both of your legs on either side of his body as both of you kiss like there's no tomorrow.
He put you on the bed, his hands tugging on his tie before pulling it off while his eyes set on you the whole time. You felt your pussy throb. How can someone be so hot just from pulling their tie off?
"Are you really sure about this?"
You didn't answer but nodded instead, the man shook his head. "I need your words, baby" His hands felt your cheeks, tucking your hair on your right ear. You hummed while closing your eyes to feel his tender touch, "I want you to take me" You finally said looking straight into his eyes.
"Just kiss me." And he did. He kisses you just how you like it, just how he likes it. It was as if he wants to devour you whole and you love it.
The man attacks your neck pulling you closer to him while leaving open mouth kisses on the way to your clothed chest. He was an expert, he made you lose your mind with his touch that you didn't even feel his fingers untying the strings from the back to loosen your shoulder strap.
He released a shaky breath at the sight of your bare breast. You felt his hot breath on your nipples and they almost immediately got hardened making him chuckle. His hands started massaging your front, followed by his mouth where his tongue played with your nipple, teeth bitting with your tits that made you lose your mind.
You felt his hands slowly traveling southward until he felt the wet spot on your panties caused by him. He didn't waste time and set the string of your thong aside then plunged a finger inside you that made you moan.
"Didn't even need to lubricate you on how wet you are, princess. So wet just because of me" He said, mouth and finger going back from to torturing both your tits and hole.
Your moan gets louder when he adds another finger and then another. "Fuck... ah!"
"Jay..." He suddenly said still pleasuring you.
"W-hat?"
"Moan my name" You don't know how your brain processed it but you nod. So his name was Jay? This a distinctive way of exchanging names but you love it
Jay eyes all your reaction as he torments you in pleasure. His hands didn't just go in and out but also up and down, even circling his fingers as if he was tickling the deepest part of you.
It didn't take long before the pleasure spreads across your body, the feeling of pleasure from his mouth and fingers mixing into a big pressure inside your stomach. You were practically screaming his new-learned name from pleasure and he was letting you. Even felt him smiling from your skin as you emphatically close your eyes.
"I- ah! gonna... cum! Jay!" You shouted feeling his pace becoming faster than before, making your back arches and head was thrown back at the bed. With one last cry of his name, you finally cum. Jay's fingers ride your high while you motionlessly lay on your back, mind still blown from the orgasm.
Jay lay beside you, his clothed erection brushing on your legs as he did. "You alright?"
You sighed before nodding just looking at the white ceiling, "That was... wow" a chuckle came out of your lips before looking at him. Jay was resting his head on his hands as he lay on his side while looking down at you, "One thing is for sure..." His brow rose, wordlessly telling you to continue. "I'm definitely not drunk"
Both of you chuckled, and you can't help but to stare at him. He really is beautiful. Your eyes gaze on his pants, "Aren't we going to take care of that?" You ask as you felt Jay eyes his erection.
"I don't know, will you?"
Is he challenging you? He didn't even know how you love challenges. You smirked pushing him to lay on his back that made jay smile in amusement, "Definitely" You took the chance to straddle him again, your bare chest giggling at the sudden movement.
Jay's dick was exactly underneath your pussy making you sigh in relief. The adonis sit up crashing his lips to you while you take off his suit then unbutton his polo and finally his well-toned body is displayed in front of you. "Like what you see?" He asks, brow raising at you.
You scoffed playfully, "And what if I do?"
And, that's the last thing you remembered before passing out and finally waking up in bed in the same room you and the man named 'jay' practically devoured each other out. You don't remember anything after you blacked out, and you're not certainly sure if you really took care of Jay's err— problem but one thing you are sure of is that you didn't get laid, well, in terms with penetration, that is.
You enjoyed the night, that's for sure. So, you waited for Jay. You waited for the man who made you see stars the night before but no one came. You also tried finding some notes or any message he might have left but nothing. Jay must've got turned off after you passed out on him last night. Oh well, life goes on. You can't really do something about it even though you're dying to see him again to try to make it up for how he made you feel. But then again, you have a reputation to maintain and so, you prepare yourself to go to work.
"Is it true that Chairman Park's grandson is finally here after years of managing our western branch?"
"Maybe? I'm just hoping he's hot— ah, good morning, sunbae!" it didn't go unnoticed to your ears on how the woman's voice raised a little higher before both of them bowed to you as a respect when you step inside the elevator. You're not a strict superior and have your own issue to resolve so you just dismissed them after returning a simple smile and a bow.
"Oh, so you're alive. We thought you were dead and got your organs sold over the black market." That's the first thing your co-worker, karina asked as soon as you pulled the glass door to step inside. You stared at her dumbfounded, mouth slight agape. "Not gonna let me sit first are you?"
The woman stared and is hot on your heels as you make your way on your own table to put your things down. You're not looking at Karina but you can feel how she rolled her eyes when you purposely do your own thing a little bit slowly to make your friend suffer a little bit. You know how she hates slow people.
You heard her huff a quiet laugh, still waiting for you as she rest both her arms on the lining that made your table's wall separator.
After making yourself comfortable sitting on your swivel chair, you finally look up to Karina; a teasing smile on your lips when you saw your friend's ticking patience.
She exhaled air, "So, what happened? We got so worried when we didn't saw you last night, even you're phone is off-" You quietly showed her your dead phone in which she just nodded. "Ryujin even thought someone kidnapped you" Well... that's not completely wrong, isn't it?
"I'm still alive and kicking as you can see, rin. And, I'm sorry about my lines not being open. I know you two are worried. Don't worry, this will never happen again."
"Fine... so what happened? Did you finally lost your virginity?"
"No"
"What?"
And so you tell the things that happened this morning, leaving all the details about the stunt you and jay pulled last night.
"So, you met this guy who brought you to a hotel room upstairs, blacked out and then that's it? Are you sure he didn't do something to you?" Karina asked, worried glazed over her voice.
You nodded before answering 'yeah', "I still have my clothes on and I don't feel anything wrong with my body."
"Well, that's good. I'm relieved nothing bad happened to you." She sighed, "So, what's the plan?"
You were about to say something when Ryujin ran inside hugging you, "Y/n! What happened? Are you alright?" Her hug was suffocating. This made you tap her, "Tigh—t!" She immediately pulled away whispering a soft 'sorry'.
"I'm alright, no need to worry, ryu."
"Okay, but that's not the only reason why I ran here. I heard that..." The girl signals for her hands to make you and karina scoot closer. "I heard that the chairman's son was here today and that he'll manage the company from now on." Ryujin whispered making Karina nod.
"Nothing new? I just heard about that in the elevator on my way here"
"That's cheating—"
"Everyone to the assembly hall, now!" One of the seniors announced after knocking on the glass, not even bothering to make his whole body go inside the door.
"What is it now?" Karina whispered but started walking towards the elevator otherwise. "Maybe we'll know whether the gossip about chairman park's son is true or not." You shrugged.
You, together with the other employees arrived at the hall not long after to finally take your respective seats. It was full and all the other high end members of the board were there too. "Something's big is coming" Ryujin whispered on your side that made you nod as you waited for the program to start.
"President Park Jongseong will now start his inauguration speech" Said the speaker as the crowd erupted in applauses as two young men entered the venue from the side before walking towards the stage. "President? Woah. He's our new boss." Karina whispered but you didn't care. Your eyes pinned on the man who was now in front of the center podium.
That's...
"Thank you for your warm welcome—" You can't hear what he's saying but you didn't remove your gaze at him. He's jay, right? The one who— wait. Is he looking over here?
You immediately lowkey covered your face and looked down when you realized he did. You're hoping he didn't see you at all. Hell, you're a few meters away from the stage. You're even sitting at the very end row of the chairs. There's no way he saw you.
Shit. You cursed realizing the weight of your actions. You just made your new boss finger you last night. The worst of it is that you even blacked out in front of him. You're fucked, Sim Y/n. You are fucked!
The speech address finished in line without fail or disturbance. Jay didn't even look over your way again much to your relief. After the speech was finished, the new president thanked the board members and immediately left saying he still had things to prepare for and that's the last thing you see 'Jay' today. It was as if nothing happened between the two of you and that he forgot about your existence.
After the event, things got back to normal. Aside from him being the sole topic of your office mate's conversation, nothing new reminds you about the man who does you good that turns out to be your new boss. That's why you're convinced that things finally ended. Well, that's what you thought.
"Y/n, are you sure you don't need us to wait for you?" Ryujin asked standing behind your chair, karina on the side. "No, really. I'm fine. Another slide and I'll finish this presentation then I'll go home. Don't let me take your time to relax." You replied smiling at them. They were convinced and so they finally left you.
It's early in the evening and you bet you're the last person on the floor. Not that you despised it. The presentation was due next week but you have the energy to finish it and so you did. You just wanted to spare yourself another workload next week.
After printing the last page, you decided to call it a day. You were about to ride the elevator when someone called you from behind. You look over your shoulder before turning around and finally met by an unknown guy explaining the unfamiliar voice that called you just now.
"Yes? Can I help you?" You politely asked, "One of the board members asked for you."
Board member? Me? That's weird. You thought you were the only person left.
"I understand, Mister...?"
"Kim. Kim Sunoo." He answered, smiling before starting to walk to show you the way.
"Sorry, I just don't recall seeing you around here." You explained looking at the back of his head. You heard Sunoo chuckled, "Well, we're new here, Ms. Sim."
We? But your confusion was resolved when you heard someone knocking but saw it was Sunoo. "Park sajang, miss sim is here."
Wait, park sajang? Your eyes got wide before looking at sunoo who just signal for you to come inside. Now, that you took a good look at him, you realize that sunoo's the same man you saw earlier at the assembly hall. The one who stands behind Jay, the chief secretary of this company.
"Miss Sim..." You woke up in daze when you heard his voice again. You didn't even realize that sunoo finally opened the door for you. And after contemplating things, you finally took a step inside.
The room was quite dark but well lit with the warm lights shining on the side. The wide glass window overseeing the city lights while a man, you knew was Jay, had his back turned to you while sitting on his table.
No one talked. The silence was suffocating at least, for you. Time finally came where you can't take it anymore and finally braved yourself to say something.
"You called for me, President Park?" You asked trying your best not to sound nervous.
The man stopped on whatever he was doing before finally facing you still sitting on his table with a folder on his hand.
"Sunoo" He called.
"Yes, Mr. Park?" Sunoo immediately answered from the other side of the door. I thought he left.
"I can take it from here, you can leave." You heard a 'yes, sir' before hearing the sound of steps finally fading.
"How are you feeling, Ms. Sim?"
You didn't look at him straight, just keeping your eyes on the floor. You heard him chuckled in low tone. That's sexy. "Now, where is that feisty woman i met last night, hmm kitten?"
"What?" You heard him right. You knew what he meant but your mind is currently blanked.
What's going to happen to you now? Will you get fired? Will you be homeless?
"Ms. Sim..." He called again making you look at him. He started walking towards you. You wanted to run or hide, whatever it is but you felt your body froze. Jay is now a few steps away from you. No suit in sight, just his white simple polo partnered with black slacks, two buttons unbuttoned causing his tan chest showing a little bit to tease. His sleeves were neatly folded up to his elbow wearing simple black bracelet while a glass adorned his eyes surely to read the files earlier. He looks so neat, elegant and... fucking sexy that you can't help but think how he'll look if you he decided to defile—
NO! What the heck are you thinking, Y/n?!
"I'm asking how you feel about last night..." Jay suddenly pulled you closer by your waist making you gasped, your hands automatically touching his shoulder and back for support. "How will you feel about picking up what you started last night?" Jay whispered in your ears and you swear you shivered, goosebumbs spreading on your skin. The only thing running on your mind is how you love to kiss him.
Oh fuck it! You thought before clashing your lips with him.
Jay greeted you with the same desire, playing with your tongue as both of you moan in pleasure.
"This is the office, Mr. Park." You whispered in between kisses. "I know," He replied leaving marks on your neck, "I just can't help it knowing I might lose you again."
"You won't. I promise."
Jay then looked straight in your eyes before kissing your forehead. "Let's get out of here."
Things happened so fast that you didn't even realize how the two of you got down towards the parking lot and into Jay's car. He immediately started the engine before driving away. Jay drove over the hills away from the traffic that explains why the drive felt like a blink of an eye.
You just saw yourself looking at Jay as he parked inside a huge house with an automatic gate that opened itself when his car stopped in front of it.
"Wait here" Your brain didn't have enough time to register his words when Jay jogged towards your side of door, opened it and started picking you up like a newly wedded bride.
"What—! Sir, I can walk."
"Sorry, can't help it" He whispered even though it's evident in his voice that he's not really sorry for the stunt. "And, that's Jay to you. We're not in the office anymore, Y/N."
How did he know your name? Oh, he's your new boss. It's not surprising if he did know basic information about you who's one of his employee. And with that, you simply nodded as Jay ascended the stairs and into a room. He gently puts you to bed as he connects his lips with yours. "Can't run now, kitten."
"I don't have the plan anyway" You replied, removing his polo, yours being the next one to join the pile of clothing on the floor. Jay started kissing your neck on the way to your chest where his skilled hands remove your brassiere in one swift move. He then continued his ventures southward kissing your stomach before removing your office skirt together with your lacey panties completely.
He spread your legs making you shiver in pleasure. Just the thoughts of the things he'll do to you is making you turned on, what more if he finally does it.
"Relax, kitten." He said before diving through your folds earning a moan from you. "J-jay! Ugh!" Fuck, he's eating you so good that your hands can't help but tugged his hair. Your moans got louder when his tongue focused on your clit before adding two fingers on your hole practically eating and fingering you like there's no tomorrow.
He can feel that you're close even if you won't say it or... don't have the ability to say it. You were far up to the stars and he will happily take you there. And just like what you want, a knot is slowly building in your stomach, the pleasure was so good that you finally started to let go following with moans.
Jay hummed on your pussy, riding your pleasure like a good man that he is. Keeping his pace unturned as it sends waves of pleasure throughout your whole body making you breathless.
You felt jay checking on you, ensuring you're comfortable enough as if he didn't just made you lose your mind using only his mouth and fingers a few minutes ago. "You okay? I'll do it now" He asked, innocently. You simply nod, still catching your breath that the man took away.
"Shut up... and, just do me" The man chuckled kissing your lips then pulling away to remove his belt and pants to finally show his hardness.
You propped up through your elbows, "Are you sure that'll fit?" Jay laughed at your worried yet amazed face. "So cute!" He crawled on top of you, "Don't worry, I'll make it less painful, love." You felt him spreading your legs further using his, and he felt how you tensed causing him to kiss you again.
Jay used his hand to run his cock up and down spreading your wetness and hitting your clit on the process. The stunt made you relax that he used to his advantage.
He suddenly thrust, fully. "Fucking shit! You-you're so big, Jay" You cursed feeling the pain on your lower body causing you to push yourself up.
Jay shivered on what you said, hugging your body trying not to fuck you mindlessly. "C-lose... shit, you're so tight" He can feel your hotness. It's making him lose his mind. This is better than heaven itself. You are better than life can offer to him.
"You can move now..." And, he did. No need to tell him twice. He started experimental thrust before picking up his pace when he felt you finally feeling it as your moans became louder, breaths becoming deeper and words becoming more lewd.
"Ugh! Shit, Jay. Yes! There!" You screamed scratching his back voluntarily spreading your legs to make him thrust deeper.
"I'm gonna... J-jay..." You whispered to him. Slapping of skin, moans and grunts filled the room. You were practically screaming all the pleasures, eyes shut tight.
"Cum inside. It's fine."
Jay didn't answer but the way his dick twitched inside let you know he understands. "Cum with me, love" He groaned, hastening his thrust, with one last curse both of you cum together painting your inside with thick white.
Both of you didn't move, still chasing your breaths, trying to recover from the waves of pleasure that's still running through your bodies.
"Don't move..." You whispered on his ears. You felt him kissed your cheeks, "So, this is your newfound kink. You want me to breed you?"
"Will you?"
"Don't mind me if I do." You both laughed, "I need to clean you though." And, you let him. Jay slowly pulled away from your hole making you gasped. You immediately felt the warm and thick cum sliding through your inner thighs and into the bed.
He wear his boxer again before disappearing to one of the room that you deemed as the bathroom. You took the time to slowly sit up looking at the evidence of your purity, and there it is the red stain that looks kind of prideful in your opinion.
When jay came again, he got some towels and a basin on his hands. "What? Can't believe that you just lost your virginity to me?"
"Yes, and no. I don't regret it at all. It's just that... that you're my boss." You replied, shyness taking toll on your system that you tried to hide by laying down and closing your eyes again.
The next thing you felt is a warm towels that jay is using to clean your body, "You alright?"
It feels so nice that you just answered with a hum.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure"
"What are we?"
You felt the towel stopped as if he was also thinking but then it continues, "Depends om what you want. Just remember that I like you"
You opened your eyes to look at him, "Like me... you mean?" He nodded, "But, how? I mean, we just met yesterday night."
"Maybe to you. I know you since the first time I worked at the company. We're both an intern that time. Dad asked me to go work by disguise to let me learn about the company" Jay explained slowly and when your brain process his words, you unconsciously sit up making you hiss and making jay groaned, uttering a simple 'careful'.
"Wait so you're jongseong? The jongseong that we don't even know the last name since you don't have an ID and you wont tell us."
He chuckled before nodding, "There even a time that you doubted me whether I truly worked at the company before." Jay then helped you wear one of his clothes to make you further comfy.
"You just vanished, I thought you're not real."
"Dad made me managed the business overseas. It took me three years to come back again. Last night, I can't believe I'll see you again just a day after I came back. You didn't chang, except that you became more beautiful, but other than that, you're still the woman that I admired. You danced truly enjoying yourself not for the other people and that's when I realized that you're the same person I want to see." Oh, so his the same person that observing me from the second floor yesterday. Jay cleaned himself then lay beside me, he covered both our bodies in the duvet before pulling me closer. I turned around to face him, I want to see him closer.
"I was planning to surprise you at work the next day, not as the president though." He continued, tucking some of my stubborn hair. "But then, imagine the shocked my body went through when you told me to take you. Seriously, my mind went blank. I can't... I am relieved that you walk to me and not another men."
"Whatever it is. Just remember that I like you, and I wanted to know more about this feelings. We can take it slow, I can wait. Just let me have the chance to prove myself to you" You smiled, you can feel that he's genuine and trying to walk on eggshells around you trying not to scare you.
You put your hands on his nape, closing your eyes. "Okay, let's do that."
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© hrdenha 2023
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hellfiremunsonn · 9 months
Text
Behave. Joseph Quinn x Reader
Behave.
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I DO NOT ALLOW MY WRITING TO BE REPUBLISHED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT MY CONSENT
Summary: bratting at your dom boyfriend at a public event... How do you think that’s going to end?
18 + IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER DO NOT READ OR INTERACT WITH MY WRITING. IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.
Warnings: fem!reader, sub/brat!reader, dom!Joseph, dom and sub relationship, established relationship, swearing, dirty talk I guess? suggestive. (IF THERES ANYTHING I MISSED LET ME KNOW)
AN: thank u to @eddieschains for reading this through for me to make sure it wasn’t booty (ily and am kissing u on the mouth)
Wordcount: 1k
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It's a fancy dinner party neither of you wanted to be at. Last minute, outside on a lovely patio and all though the view was beautiful you couldn't help but groan at the heat and humidity that clung to your skin, but Joseph promised he'd be there and he absolutely was not going to go without you. With his abrupt rise in the industry you'd gotten used to the events, and appearances, but you were still human, and sometimes you had to be a brat to get the attention you wanted from your boyfriend.
Joe loved it just as much as it drove him up the wall, but he'd never want anyone else. He loved seeing you go from that ridged and wound up bratty little shit to his soft, and pliable good girl who'd sit at his feet if he asked.
"Do we have to stay long?" You ask, not even ten minutes after arriving.
"Not too late, just a couple hours" he said while leading you to one of the small tables where Wes had waved him over.
You groan and roll your eyes, leaning into Joesphs hand on the small of your back, letting him basically push you forward to keep walking.
"Don't start with the attitude my love, I thought you were gunna be good for me tonight huh?" he said quietly as you approached the table. His side glance to you made your stomach flip, you did tell him you were going to be good... But you never said for how long.
You were good for most of the party, but after a few fruity cocktails you started to get a bit more bold, and a lot more whiney. After a fourth trip to the bar you returned to Josephs side, his arm instantly coming to wrap around your waist, pulling you into him.
"Where'd you run off to pretty girl?" he said into the skin of your temple, placing a small kiss there. You hummed, leaning up to give him a lazy smile, the alcohol making you feel warm and fuzzy, light with electricity.
Instead of verbally answering him you just hold up your cup to him with a smile, before setting it down onto the table. Except you didn't set it down, you placed it just on the edge, not enough to keep it balanced and it fell onto the floor with a splash and a crash. You flinch at the noise, along with the people around you, who look you up and down and then at who you're with before returning to their own conversations.
You pout looking down at your feet and huff your strappy heels no longer a good idea as the beverage now coats your feet. "My feet are going to get all sticky" You look up to see Joseph staring at you, the vein in his neck is bulging and you know you've started to get on his nerves. You felt a slight sense of accomplishment because thats exactly what you wanted but not how you wanted to get it.
"M'sorry Joe, I'll go fine someone to clean it up" you said turning to go find the first serve you could find, feeling a little embarrassed.
"Don't" he said with a firm grip on your arm while he pulled you back to him.
You furrowed your brows. "there's glass everywhere Joey someone could get hurt-"
"Should have thought about that before you decided to drink too much, breaking a rule like that when you told me you'd be good?" he tuts staring down at you.
It wasn't a hard rule, but a rule nonetheless. To not over drink, in fear of doing anything to jeopardizes your career, let alone Josephs. You didn't want some tabloid spewing lies about you or Joseph all because you drank a little too much.
"Joseph I'm fine" You roll your eyes. "I misjudged the distance of the table and I dropped the cup, I'm sorry, now let go of me so I can find a server"
"Behave" he warned again, letting you go.
"Yeah, yeah I heard you the first time" You rolled your eyes again before searching to find someone to take care of the glass. You heard Wes come back to the table and snicker at your response while you walked away.
Instead of returning to Joseph right away like you knew you should have, you went out front of the fancy venue, opting for a calm moment away from the party to have a smoke. You pulled out the packet of cigarettes from your small red purse, holding it between your lips before lighting it with the engraved metal lighter Joseph had gifted to you. You smiled fondly looking down at it in the palm of your hand, swiping your thumb across the embedded words.
"You supposed to wander off on your own?" Josephs voice was low in your ear making you jump and sputter on the smoke in your lungs. You go to turn but he holds you too him tightly by your hips, keeping your back to to his chest.
"Don't sneak up on me like that!" you exclaimed, attempting to bring your cigarette back to your mouth when Josephs quick hand snatched it out of yours and into his own. Placing it between his lips and inhaling deeply, cheeks hollowing and his stomach concaving, instantly making you miss its warmth against your back.
"If you didn't keep on breaking my rules maybe I wouldn't have to" He exhaled, dropping the cigarette onto the ground next to you and crushing it under his shoe.
"I've not broken a single rule tonight and you know it" you said squirming slightly.
"No? Not a single rule?" He laughed, but it was humourless. "How many times have you rolled your eyes at me tonight hm? How many times did you talk back? How many drinks did we agree on you having?"
"Shit" you muttered. You really didn't think you had broken that many rules tonight, maybe a little bit excessive on the eye rolls, but you were needy and he couldn't give you the attention you wanted.
"I should bring you back in there, bend you over the nearest table and spank you in front of all those people" His hands slide up and down the sides of your body, causing goosebumps to cascade across every inch of your skin. "Show everyone how much of a bad girl you are, and how good you get for me" he snickered.
"Bet you'd like that though wouldn't you? Having everyone see who you belong to, who you let control you like this?"
You shuddered when his hand reached your jaw, tilting it sideways to catch a glimpse at your glassy eyes, just how he knew they'd be.
"You want your punishment here or do you want to wait till we're home?" he asked softly. As mean as he could be when you wanted him to it never stopped him from checking in.
"H-home please, wanna be good for you, only you, no one else, they don't get to see me like that, only you. Please?" You were begging, begging for a punishment in your shared home. Begging to prove to him that you were still his good girl, because that's all you wanted to be.
"Please can we go home now daddy?"
When your voice wobbled all soft and sickly sweet, he grabbed your hand and lead you to the car that was already waiting for you out front.
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bmhcdnsms · 3 months
Text
[male reader] - fem alligned, minors / ageless, and blank blogs dni or u will be blocked !
thinking about clingy men that won't leave you alone. i'm talking: whiny, needy, pathetic, touchy men that will do anything in their power to stay by your side. definitely do not care if their behavior is an inconvenience to anyone around you two, they won't change how they act at all.
they'll whine your name in that begging tone while they tug on the hem of your shirt, pleading eyes looking at you. all that effort just to beg you to let them come with you when you order your drink at the counter at the local cafe you two were at.
genuinely panics whenever you aren't near. it's codependency at its finest. you have to use the bathroom at the restaurant you two are dining at? he's counting down the seconds until you come back. and when you do, he almost burst into happy tears as he excitedly waits for you to take your seat. you have to help a family member on something important? he's trying to persuade you in letting him come, telling you that it's a good time for them to finally meet your boyfriend. you have to go to your classes? constantly tries sneaking in, despite you and your professor's warning on how he will get in trouble.
he can't go anywhere without you. turns into a really temperamental mess (to others) that will not hesitate in throwing a tantrum in hopes of that getting you to return back to his side.
-
"why don't you want me to come?" he whines, his voice on the other end of the phone call sounding exactly like heartbreak, "baby, i can go there quick-"
"i've already said no, elliot," you sigh, rubbing your forehead as you unlock your car, "you have classes, i know you do. you showed me your schedule last week, don't skip those classes,"
he whines again, sounding like a puppy that just got kicked. his needy sounds only grow louder at your silence, "but, why? i wanna go with you!"
"you can't, you can't miss your classes this semester. you got in a lot of trouble last time-"
"it doesn't matter! my professors don't care for attendence!"
"are you lying to me?"
there is a pause and that is enough to answer your question.
"i'm sorry, eli, but no," you're about to hang up, but falter as you feel bad for being so hard on him. but seriously! someone had to, or else he'd only get worse. your boyfriend practically wanted to live in your skin with you and it was beginning to be really concerning.
"i just want to spend time with my boyfriend, why won't you let me?" he pleads and you hear a locking of a door and can only assume he went to the bathroom for privacy in his upcoming breakdown, "do you not want to see me? are you hiding something?"
"i'm not and that's the truth, i just really need to go and buy groceries." you say calmly, already familiar with this routine.
"then why?! why can't i come? why? why don't you want to see me?" he questions, voice getting weaker and weaker. you can't see it, but he begins sliding down the door of the bathroom, stressfully running a hand through his hair. he begins hyperventilating. "why don't you want me with you?"
"we can see each other after my errands and after your classes," you explain, trying to tough it out even though your empathy is telling you to pity the man.
"[name], i really need to see you, please, please just let me come," he breathes out, words becoming a stuttering mess that is hard to understand through the phone, "please, let me see you, beautiful boy, please, please, please,"
he begins repeating the word "please" over and over again and at that point you begin wondering if it's even worth it to keep arguing with him over this. he's only going to get more adament in coming along. you curse yourself for even texting him that you were busy a couple of minutes ago because that is what made this reaction occur.
"please, i'll be quiet and good, you won't even know i'm there. i won't get in the way, i just want to be with you!"
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spxdxrpxnk · 9 months
Text
matchies! : GWEN STACY / GHOST SPIDER
it was so, so dumb, but you and GWEN had matching tooth gaps.
( notes: this is written by a minor about an underage character, so nsfw/18+/'minors dni' blogs please do not interact with this post! thanks!
this is gonna be a little series about how you'd match with various characters!!! it was supposed to be one post, like a paragraph per character, but gwen went from a paragraph to 2k words, so... <3
warning: there's mention of blood and spit here! nothing too graphic or gross, just prepare yourself after "and.. well, he missed pretty badly."
also, i tried to experiment with colors because of the way gwen's universe works. if it's a headache for anyone, let me know and i'll change it to the way i normally color my writing! )
GWEN was the pink to your orange, the deep purple to your bright blue. you were pretty different, yet complimentary when placed next to each other.
she was more reserved at first, sticking to her best friend PETER and virtually no one else, while you were quite the social butterfly.
you never had a set group of friends, bouncing between friend groups with ease. you even befriended the quiet kids everyone else avoided- and you weren't even isolated for it. that's how much everyone loved you.
GWEN knew you because you were friends with PETER, who would mention you regularly when they'd recap all the good parts of the school day while walking home.
you stood up for him against the jerks who'd pick on him whenever she wasn't there to do it.
you had her respect, even though you apparently didn't even know her name.
you called her GWANDA.
regardless, she'd smile and wave back at you when you greeted her in the hallway in passing. "hey peter, hi gwanda!"
one morning, you both were the only ones in the hallway.
GWEN came to school late, having slept through the entirety of first period because she was exhausted from patrolling the entire night. you were sent out by a teacher to run an errand, just coming back from the main office.
"hi gwen!" you greeted with a smile when you noticed her, which gave her pause as she closed her locker and eyed you suspiciously.
"... hey."
"what's up? aren't you supposed to be in class right now?" you asked casually, as if you weren't being totally weird right now, with a curious tilt of your head that GWEN silently found only a little bit adorable.
"came late, i slept through my alarms."
you simply nodded, and she was silently thanking you for not questioning her further. she was terrible at lying on the spot.
"what about you?"
you held up a 3D-printed hall pass, from room 218. "had to bring the permission slips for a college trip to the office."
GWEN hummed softly in response, silence falling over the both of you. she felt awkward, so close yet slightly disconnected from you; the environment reflecting that. the hallway was a deep blue and you were a nice baby blue, whilst she was a dark purple that almost blended in.
"... soooo…" she drawled, glancing around before making awkward eye contact with you again. "we should.. probably get going…?"
you chuckled a little, "yeah, we should. where are you going right now? i'll walk you to class."
she was about to politely decline with a billion apologies, the way she always did when she got too awkward.
but then, she got that itching in the back of her skull that wouldn't go away whenever she was about to make a decision. the one that always made her do the exact opposite of what she was about to do.
"... sure. i'm in 208 right now." she said with a smile, before walking side by side with you up the staircase.
you attempted to bid her farewell and simply walk by, but GWEN grabbed the wrist of your free hand when you were right outside of her class. "why'd you call me gwen?"
you looked at her like she was a little bit stupid, "'cause.. that's your name...?"
"no- well, yeah, it is, but-" she huffed, a piece of her hair flying up. "you never call me gwen. it's always-"
"oh! yeah, i always call you gwanda. that's only a joke though, did peter never tell you?" you continued at the confused little shake of her head. "the one time you weren't here for phys ed, we had a substitute coach and she kept calling you gwanda for some reason. if it bothers you, i'll stop-"
"nono!" GWEN didn't know why she was so bothered by the thought of you not calling her by a stupid name. "it's okay, it's.. it's funny, i like when you call me it."
you just smiled at her- too sweetly, her heart was hammering in her chest. you slipped your wrist from her grasp, which she forgot she was holding, instead holding her hand with your own. she could feel the lockers around you both fading into a muted color she couldn't even care to notice, only focused on you and the pretty purple you both became.
"okay then, i'll call you gwanda for the rest of our lives."
woah.
she could only hope you didn't notice the blush on her face as she silently cursed you for saying something so.. so intimate, so casually.
"uh- yeah, yeah, cool. totally." she stammered, nodding as she returned your smile.
"later, gwanda."
you slipped your hand out of hers and waved before turning your back to her, making your way to the class you were supposed to be in.
"yeah, later…"
coincidentally, it happened in gym class, during the mandatory class soccer game.
the class was split into four teams. GWEN, you, and PETER were all on different ones.
GWEN's team wasn't playing at the moment, but yours and PETER's were so she was sitting on the sidelines and cheering for him. he actually had the ball for once!
he was clumsily dribbling it down the field toward you, goalie of the opposing team. and you, ever the try-hard, dove for the ball right as he went for a goal-scoring kick.
and.. well, he missed pretty badly.
you fell to your knees, clutching your mouth, while the ball pathetically rolled into the goal behind you.
your team, most of PETER's team, and even people from the sidelines got up and rushed to crowd around you two before GWEN could even register what just happened.
PETER, of course, was the first person to kneel down next to you, apologizing profusely while trying to get you to move your hands from your mouth to assess the damage. GWEN had to push, duck, and weave past her fellow students to get to you both, and she made it just in time to see you move your hand from your mouth.
it was covered in blood and your saliva, dripping onto the polished gym floor. PETER backed away a little, utterly horrified, not sure what to do.
a few tears, presumably from the pain, streaked down your cheeks as you blinked heavily.
GWEN had to give some people in the crowd her meanest glare when they started jeering at her friend for kicking the most beloved student in the school in the mouth.
"'m okay, guys-" you started, slightly pained but as optimistic as ever, but you and everyone else were a bit startled by the lisp in your speech that wasn't there before.
she tentatively kneeled down in front of you next to PETER with her hand firm on his shoulder to calm him down, trying to get a look into your mouth while you spoke to confirm her suspicions.
but you didn't have to speak again.
you toyed with something in your mouth before lifting your hand to spit into it- a tooth.
the gym exploded into angry reds and oranges so quickly, it almost gave GWEN a headache. the three of you stood out in various shades of blue and purple.
the gym teacher, who wasn't paying attention the entire time, only came to disperse the crowd when everyone started yelling at PETER for kicking you in the mouth and knocking your tooth out.
he was practically hyperventilating, so the teacher told him to go to the locker room and chill out, and make sure to grab some paper towel to get your blood and spit off the floor.
GWEN was told to walk you to the nurse, after leading you to the locker room as well.
you didn't seem all too bothered about your tooth being knocked out. you rinsed your mouth out in the locker room, cleaned yourself and your newly isolated tooth of blood, and were just admiring it while she walked next to you silently.
she didn't know what to say besides 'sorry my best friend knocked your tooth out' or 'sucks to suck', so she chose to keep quiet.
then, you gasped loud and clapped your hand on GWEN's shoulder harshly, making her flinch and turn to you, a frantic orange in direct contrast with your vibrant blue. "what's wrong, are you-"
"we match!"
it took her a second to register what you said, and when she did she just stared at you blankly, slowly fading into a usual purple that she was with you. "... huh?"
you smiled that million watt grin of yours, even though your lips were a little swollen, and GWEN noticed- it was one of your front teeth that was knocked out. she huffed, relieved that you weren't dying or something, before simply glancing at you, unimpressed.
"seriously?" was all she could ask. it wouldn't be the first or last time someone made fun of the gap between her two front teeth, but she couldn't really tell if you were doing that or if you were being genuine.
that is until you nodded enthusiastically.
"yeah! i mean, i don't think mine looks as cute as yours does," wow, okay, smooth. "but now we're matching!"
… okay, yeah, you were being serious. it was kind of endearing, if she was honest, and GWEN couldn't hold back the smile on her face.
"not really," she humored you. "since mine is natural."
you just sucked your teeth, the sound less sharp than it'd usually be, which got a laugh out of her.
"ooh, ooh- we should take a picture!"
"a picture? for what?"
"you know, to remember this day forever?"
"the day you got kicked in the mouth and your tooth was knocked out?" she questioned sarcastically, shaking her head fondly at your totally serious nod.
after a very intense mini staring contest, GWEN knew she lost when she brightened into a blue matching yours, making her roll her eyes as if she was being burdened by the childlike joy you brought her. "fine." she relented, grinning at your little cheer as she pulled out her phone.
she wrapped her arm around your shoulders and pulled you close as if you'd been friends forever, and you leaned your head against hers like it was totally normal.
both of you smiled wide, showing your tooth gaps to the camera, and she had to hold down a laugh at the way you were holding your knocked out tooth in frame.
you said a very corny "cheeese!", and once the picture was taken, she couldn't stop herself from bursting out laughing at the lisp in your voice.
and you were definitely playing it up just to make her laugh, talking in a very exaggerated nerdy-lispy voice that had her giggling all the way to the nurse's office.
you eventually got the tooth put back in at the dentist, which you missed a few days of school for.
thankfully, PETER found you on social media and peer pressured encouraged GWEN to reach out to you after she kept asking random people she'd never speak to otherwise where you were.
double thankfully, you didn't question how she found your socials and were happy to give her your phone number.
she definitely lectured you about how irresponsible that was of you over text, but only after she finished debating you over why her naming your contact "gappy 2" ( she'd be "gappy 1" for you ) wouldn't make any sense if you won't have the gap anymore.
to end the debate, you told her to hold on a second and then sent her a selfie.
you were smiling as bright as ever, your missing tooth back in it's place. your lips weren't swollen and you weren't bloody and drooling. GWEN just admired you for a few minutes before she actually noticed the gap between your two front teeth.
a gap that wasn't there before one of them got knocked out.
gappy 1 💫: Woah, you actually have one now?
Gappy #2 💞: yea!
Gappy #2 💞: the dentist lady said they can't do much about it ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
Gappy #2 💞: besides give me a retainer? which, hell no!
Gappy #2 💞: so we're officially twinning forever now 🫶
gappy 1 💫: Lol. You dodged a bullet, retainers suck
gappy 1 💫: It looks cute on you though :)
Gappy #2 💞: aww ty! but i could never outdo the doer <3
GWEN would admire the selfie you guys took that fateful day whenever she was missing you.
and then gaze longingly look at the one you took together the day you came back to school, showing your now actually matching tooth gaps.
your smiles were always so contagious, GWEN found herself matching your energy all the time. when you got hype and became a bright orange, she did too. when you chilled out after and faded into a comfy blue, so did she.
before you, GWEN never really smiled unless she was with loved ones or if someone told a joke. and when she did, it was close-lipped, since someone always managed to bring up her tooth gap and ruin her mood.
but she smiles so much more now, always with her teeth, and no comment can bring her down.
seeing you be just as radiant, if not more, with your gap-toothed smile encouraged her to smile the same way. even when you weren't around.
sometimes, when you're bored and lounging in her bedroom, you just flash her your teeth.
( like 😬 )
and she'd do the same back, not a word spoken.
neither of you have figured out what it means yet, and you probably never will.
but just seeing your tooth gap makes GWEN's heart thump a little faster, and reminds her of how much she loves you, so she thinks it doesn't matter.
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namodawrites · 6 months
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title: how to catch a stray pairing: hatake kakashi x gn!reader note: coughs up blood... part 3 ... finally done.... this is the last part of this lil series and also the last fic i'll be posting on this blog! more info coming soon!
MASTERLIST
part 1. part 2. part 3.
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Peace has made you complacent: you startle when the kitchen window rattles, a gentle hand knocking careful knuckles against the glass.
It’s Kakashi—crouched right outside, eyes curved up in a telltale smile as if it’s normal for him to request entry like this; without the poise and air of a man whose reputation has grown beyond that of a regular shinobi.
(The celebrations following his inauguration had been lavish and mirthful.
It was the children that enjoyed it the most—filling the streets with delighted laughter, chasing each other in groups around slow, lumbering crowds. Young enough that the agonies of war had not left a lasting impression despite feeling the sting.
Those of the older generations—from shinobi like the Third Hokage’s grandson to Tsunade and beyond—had experienced a much different night. Full of grief and love for absent, long-buried faces and a quiet, overflowing relief for peace that was now within grasp.
You hadn’t been able to bring yourself to join the public festivities—instead sipping a little cup of sake in celebration for Kakashi’s new title, choosing to study a well-loved photo album for the greater part of the night before wandering through less crowded streets.
From the way Gai had spoken when he’d run into you the day after, he and the others missed your presence.
“We almost set up a search party for you!” he’d exclaimed with a strong grin and dramatic flourish of his hand. “Anko had been looking forward to celebrating with you. Even Kakashi was rather distracted,” he’d added, regarding you with a dramatic scrunch of his face.
“Well, he’d just become Hokage,” you reasoned, unable to quell the quiet ache inside. “I’m sure he was grateful for your speeches about him.”
“Very!” Gai bellowed gleefully. “But I have to agree with them—it would’ve been a livelier celebration with everyone present!” He’d patted your arm good-naturedly. “Next time, you must join us! Our youths cannot run out just yet!”)
“Isn’t it a little too unconventional for the Hokage to be entering people’s homes through the window?” you ask Kakashi with a raised eyebrow, unlatching it for him anyways.
“Y’know, just because I’m Hokage now doesn’t mean you have to refer to me as such,” he says, climbing through the frame and landing with a soft thump on the floor. “The formalities are too much for me.”
“Hokage or not, it serves to be polite,” you say. “Would you prefer I use ‘Hatake-sama’ instead?”
Kakashi’s head tips. Watching you closely. His gaze prickles over you like a splash of lukewarm water, originating from the crest of your skull down the length of your neck and spine.
You need to be careful—he’s not inebriated this time.
“Do you need something, Hatake?” you ask brusquely, turning away to face the sink. Going through the motions of washing the dishes for a distraction.
“Oh, nothing much,” he says, shrug audible in his tone. “I couldn’t catch you the other night at the fireworks display, so I thought I’d come by.”
After hauling him back home, you hadn’t been able to muster up the courage to see him. The thought had been tempting—drawn in by a taut string of longing and wishing above all else to stop running away. But you couldn’t bring yourself to go through with it, and had instead let the feelings simmer.
There’s no tension in him. No indication he remembers.
“As you can see, I’m perfectly fine. We’re finally living in an era of peace, after all,” you say, dragging a soapy sponge over the smooth porcelain of a bowl. “Though I’ve never known you to appear anywhere without a motive of some kind.”
The sink runs loud. You place the washed bowl aside and rinse your hands.
“You sound suspicious of me,” Kakashi says, a smile in his voice. “I’ve got no nefarious motives, I promise. Just coming to pay back a debt.”
He’s unperturbed by the frown you give him.
“I don’t remember any debts owed to me,” you say.
“Really?” he hums. “I seem to recall owing you a plate of dango.”
Peace has made you complacent: you don’t stifle your reaction in time—muscles drawing up, going stiff beneath his gaze. Contemplating fight or flight as if you haven’t lived and survived war. As if you’ve never taken another’s life. As if you’re new to the sensation of an extra beat of your heart behind aching ribs—adrenaline an intoxicating poison.
You only distantly remember something about dango from that night, but with his level of intoxication, there’s no way he could. There’s no way he knows. There can’t be.
And yet, he’s looking at you like he does. Hands in his pockets, hidden from your view. Gaze indecipherable and steady. You feel pinned beneath it.
Choosing flight, you look away, fingers grasping at a random hand towel to run it over already dry dishes, feeling his gaze on your neck.
“You’re misremembering, Hatake,” you say stubbornly. “We never agreed on anything like that.”
“No,” he says lightly, “but I think it’s only fair.”
“You don’t even like sweets,” you say. “I know your preferences.”
“Well, not all of them,” Kakashi lilts. You frown, but refuse to look at him.
“It would be silly. I’d be the only one eating them.”
“The shop Gai likes has good tea,” he offers. “You’ve been there before, right?”
“Not recently,” you say, remembering to pick up another bowl. “Thank you for the offer, but it’s not necessary.”
“I’d like to thank you for last time.”
Pressure swells at the base of your throat. You relinquish the bowl but keep the dishcloth in your hands, squeezing the fabric between tingling fingers.
“You—you weren’t drunk,” you accuse, head whipping up to scowl at him.
He has the decency to look caught.
“Um, well, no—”
“Were you pretending?” you ask.
“Well, no—”
“Do you know how much I—I—” you stammer. “I was worried.”
Kakashi’s face softens. He takes the smallest step forward. You let him, body relaxed, nerves buzzing.
“Sorry,” he says, quiet. “It wasn’t my intention to deceive you.”
Your lips purse together.
“Hatake, how much did you really drink?”
“Gai and I shared a few bottles,” he says, voice low and humming. “But my tolerance is better than he thinks.”
“I worried for no reason.”
“Your concern was greatly appreciated. I was touched.”
“You—your—” Groaning, you turn your face away, but do not shrink into yourself. “You asked for help to drink water.”
“Was that too much?” he asks, sounding sheepish enough. But not quite regretful.
“Of course it—!” you huff, arms crossing. “Of course it was.”
“Will you let me make it up to you?”
You squint at him. “…Over drinks?”
He shrugs, a half motion that feels much more like him. “I was thinking more over dinner. And a trip to the bookstore, if you’re up for it.”
“As long as it means you’ll find a more respectable book. Shizune will have a fit if she sees that obscene thing in public.”
Kakashi sighs. “What must you think of me to believe I still carry that around with me?”
A smile spreads across your face. “Quite highly, as a matter of fact. And I know you well enough to predict that even if we spend hours in that store all you’ll come out with is a new copy of Icha Icha.”
“So… is that a yes?” he asks lightly. Hopefully.
For what feels like the first time, you look at him. Taking in the full sight of his face, the gentle shape of it, so unlike the boy you caught glimpses of in rumors and rare sightings. You imagine the warmth of his cheek in your palm, the fabric of his mask under your thumb.
“Yeah,” you say finally. “Dinner and books. I’d like that.”
Kakashi doesn’t move to hold your hand, or kiss you, or sweep you up in his arms, but you can feel the shift in atmosphere as his smile curves up those eyes, emotion blooming in your chest, traveling up your spine. Finally promising a future you could see yourself loving.
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cadmusfly · 2 months
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Analysing the Quality of Napoleon's Marshals With Silly Data Science
Let's talk numbers and laugh at funny graphs with missing data!
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Other people in this fandom do really lovely detailed information posts, I do weird fanfic, dragon shitposting, body pillow design shitposting and run a stupid Lannes ask rp blog. But! I'm also a programmer with an interest in Numbers, and today we're going to Analyse These Dead Frenchmen with a bunch of screenshots of graphs.
Ethan Arsht published a really interesting article called Napoleon was the Best General Ever, and the Math Proves it., where using data scraped off Wikipedia articles, he creates a statistical model drawing from multiple variables per battle to calculate How Good A General Is At Winning.
Give the article a read, it's great stuff, but if you don't feel like it, he basically applies WAR - "Wins Above Replacement" - which is a value from baseball that measures how many wins a player is worth when compared to a replacement.
So the general's WAR would be how well they compare to a completely average general who replaced them. Yes, as Arsht says, "in other words, I would find the generals’ WAR, in war."
But as he says, this is not a stringent historical analysis and is more of a fun thought experiment. Wikipedia is probably the most comprehensive dataset on this topic that he had access to, but it is Wikipedia the crowdsourced online encyclopedia, so it is going to have holes and inaccuracies. And this was written seven years ago, and the data was collected then, so any updates to these articles since then wouldn't be reflected.
And it's not a perfect model that takes into account everything - it's an approximation, a whole bunch of number crunching. I haven't looked too deeply into how the numbers work exactly, even though I could.
I think that 0 would be "completely and utterly average"? A positive WAR is good, a negative WAR is not. Napoleon is the best general ever at 16.679 WAR, the next highest is Caesar at 7.445 WAR.
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(Link, you can hover over each battle and look at each datapoint!)
But I'm interested in Napoleon's marshals. The 26 men he raised up to military nobility! The dramatic assholes who kept arguing with each other. I'll post links for all of them at the end of this, but I won't be screenshotting each of their WAR graphs, just a few.
I'm not entirely sure how the scraper collected the information about what battles a commander is considered in "charge" of - I tried looking at the provided code repository but I am reminded that data science people bless them are not really good at structuring or publishing code and why are all the html pages just straight up saved in the root folder why are the jupyter notebook outputs just uncleared aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh yeah this was scraped from seven years ago so current wikipedia pages won't be reflective of what's on the graphs - so we can assume that this is just grabbing stuff from the "Commanders and leaders" part from each individual battle page and collating them into numbers
Anyway let's look at the iron man himself, Davout, considered to be the best of Napoleon's marshals.
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(Link)
Heh, here we see the first hole in the dataset - Jena-Auerstedt is considered to be one battle, and Napoleon would like you to think that's the case.
Anyway, pretty good! Let's look at Jean Lannes, the lively Gascon
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(Link)
Oooooh, even better than Davout! Helps he didn't go to Russia. Wait, why is Aspern-Essling dated to before Ratisbon, especially when Lannes died in the former?
Let's look at André Masséna, also known as being pretty cool:
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(Link)
Damn, neat, though I think there's a lot of omissions here.
Here's Murat:
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(Link)
Lol Tolentino, I do like how Murat Peaked there a little bit
But we're forgetting a certain redhead, aren't we?
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(Link)
Ouch. But also Waterloo not appearing there, hmmm.
Anyway let's finish off the screenshots with Napoleon's greatest strategist, Jean-de-Dieu Soult, the man that Wellington called a master of the defensive!
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(Link)
honestly this is the entire reason why i wanted to write this post
in soult's defense - as a soult defender - he had a pretty shitty army full of conscripts, was isolated, was occasionally pretty bad at adapting tactically to new surprises and had to deal with the english being stubborn fuckers, but he was brilliant in setting things up strategically and forcing the english to catch up through a fighting retreat with a demoralised army, stopping them from closing in on france too
but also the way this graph bullies soult so hard makes me laugh a lot
Anyway, yeah, these graphs are definitely inaccurate and I'm also posting these to see the Napoleonic community on tumblr's reaction to them, but they are a fun way to engage with history!
Just don't take them seriously, and feel free to argue in the tags/comments/reblogs
I could theoretically use this guy's code to rerun this just for the Marshals now - I know my way around some data science code - but I do have a lot on my plate, but it would be a fun experiment!
Marshal WAR Graph Links
Note: So these are under the Wikipedia article names at the time that the web scraper was run seven years ago so some of these names turned out to be different from what they are now and I had to do a bit of digging to fix some
you can definitely tell that the information is incomplete on a lot of these, again i repeat the information was scraped off wikipedia seven years ago
Louis-Nicolas Davout
Jean Lannes
Joachim Murat
Michel Ney
André Masséna
Jean-de-Dieu Soult
Bon-Adrien Jeannot de Moncey (one battle lol)
Jean-Baptiste Jourdan
Charles-Pierre Augereau
Jean-Baptiste Bernadotte aka Charles XIV John of Sweden (Two battles and only Swedish ones I think)
Guillaume Brune
Édouard Mortier (two battles)
Jean-Baptiste Bessières (two battles)
François Christophe de Kellermann (one battle, Valmy)
François Joseph Lefebvre (two battles)
Charles-Victor Perrin (ouch)
Étienne Macdonald
Nicolas Oudinot (lol)
Auguste de Marmont (loll)
Laurent de Gouvion Saint-Cyr
Józef Poniatowski (three battles but hmm. pretty bad but feel like there's too much missing info here)
Emmanuel de Grouchy (two battles, can't make a Where's Grouchy joke)
Marshals Without Graphs Not because they didn't command anything but I couldn't find their graphs on the website or in the code repo
Catherine-Dominique de Pérignon
Jean-Mathieu-Philibert Sérurier
Louis-Gabriel Suchet (wtf? maybe seven years ago the documentation on him was sad)
EDIT: wait i was looking at the notebook (the uh place where the code was being run, to see if i could run the code myself)
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soult is one of the lowest ranked generals overall on this initial list pfftHAHAHhahahahahahahaha
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weezly14 · 4 months
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so i'm not going to respond to any individual asks - this is the blanket response to all the asks i've gotten in the past few weeks asking me when i'm going to update my WIPs, if i've abandoned them, etc. i appreciate the love, i do. i miss dust to dust, and something good and right and real, and i wanna be your boyfriend, too.
i might regret being this honest later, but fuck it, it's my blog and not enough people talk about this shit.
i'm struggling with infertility. emphasis on the struggle. i'm weepy from fertility meds, in the midst of my first treatment cycle, half hope and half fear. we're "unexplained infertility," so there's no reason why it shouldn't work, except it hasn't so far, so hope feels like a dangerous thing.
for anyone who hasn't experienced this, it's a complete and total mindfuck. i don't feel like the same person i was a year ago, before all those negative pregnancy tests. i thought i'd have a baby by now, or at least be pregnant. instead, i have a shitty not even diagnosis, and Options that are both a blessing but also invasive, and expensive, and in no way a guarantee. every month i calculate when the due date would be; think about the events we have planned for next year in terms of where i could be in a pregnancy; and every month, my period arrives right on schedule, if not a day early. i have yet to see a positive pregnancy test. it's "only" been a year, and i'm "so young," but it feels like it's been ages and like i'm running out of time.
we've been forced to have conversations about money, about how far we want to go with treatment, about when we might call it. "it's too early to think about that," you might say, but one cycle of ivf could cost $16k. we have good insurance, but are we willing to undergo more than one egg retrieval? how many failed transfers before we decide the emotional toll is too high? it's better to have those conversations now, before we have to, when we can maybe make clearer decisions. would we consider donor eggs or sperm? surrogacy? what about adoption?
meanwhile, i'm watching friends and acquaintances get pregnant with no problem, as i try not to completely isolate myself and try to track ovulation, as though timing might be the problem.
(it's not.)
i'm not the person i was before all of this, and it sucks. i'm a sadder, smaller person, i think. i'm trying my best. i'm "practicing hope" or some shit, i'm doing my best to keep my head up and stop isolating, stop avoiding my pregnant best friend, stop wallowing in the grief. because it is grief. if i get pregnant, it will be because of fertility meds and doctors, it will happen in a sterile exam room, hopefully with my husband holding my hand, if he can get the time off work. there will be no spontaneous pregnancy, no surprise. there's grief in that, in letting go of what i thought this might be like, how i thought it might go.
so yes, writing fic has fallen by the wayside. not because i want it to. i just have a hard time finding the energy to do even fun things. i miss the person who could write a lot in short spans of time, who had the energy for fic. i'd like to believe i can still be that person again. i don't consider any of those fics abandoned. i've written, i've worked on things.
but, right now, it feels like my entire life, my entire being, is consumed with this struggle to get pregnant. like my life is measured by where i am in my cycle. i look at my calendar and think, that's when i'll get my period or a positive test, so i should be mindful in what i plan. i might be very happy, or i might have a very bad day.
sometimes, the bad days feel eternal.
but i'm doing what i can. i'm trying, anyway. my therapist said i should practice hope, and i'm trying to. i'm trying to let myself believe things might work out. even though the fucking meds have made me weepy as hell, i'm trying to stay positive, and envision that this cycle could work. that on christmas day, instead of my period, i'll get a positive pregnancy test.
(because going home for christmas isn't loaded enough.)
there's an old wives tale that if you wrap a baby blanket and put it under the tree, you'll have a baby by next christmas. i'm jewish, but we're an interfaith household, so we bought a baby blanket, and we're going to wrap it in hanukkah paper, and put it under the tree. we have a hope basket in the nursery - because when we moved into this house we set aside a bedroom to be the nursery, and it's empty except for that little basket of baby things we've collected over the months, in the hopes that one day we'll have a baby to dress in the little onesies or socks. we have a running list of names. this is our version of practicing hope.
this is only our first treatment cycle. things could work. or maybe the next cycle. and then, there's always ivf. some days, i feel like it'll work for us, and we will have a baby, one way or another. other days, i wonder if i shouldn't just spare myself the pain and call it now. it's exhausting, infertility.
so, to everyone who misses my writing, and wonders when i'll update again - i don't know. i miss my writing, too. i miss being the person who wasn't so consumed by fertility shit, who could indulge in hobbies. i'd like to believe i can get back to that. but not this week.
the holidays are joyous but they're also really fucking hard, so let me be your friendly reminder not to ask people when they're having kids, or why they aren't pregnant yet, and to not tell people struggling with infertility to "just adopt" or "just relax."
happy holidays.
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missrosegold · 6 months
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and if my body should fade i'll trust you with my soul part II
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Part I can be found here
Synopsis: You’ve always been able to see the man with white hair and charred skin around your village, even though it seemed that nobody else could.
Or, you ended up making a deal with death, and now he’s come to collect.
Word count: 30k
Paring: Dabi x Reader (fem reader)
Warnings: Mentions of death, strong language, smut, so Minors or ageless blogs DNI. This is rated 18+ Additional tags listed below. This does take place in a somewhat medieval inspired AU so there are some misogynistic tones in some parts of the story.
Playlist: Sparky Deathcap – September (we got fire) instrumental version, slowed.
Thank you once again to the lovely @candycandy00 for editing this for me, and another massive thank you to miss @kimkaelyn for making the banner for me! (I love it so much!)
You sigh to yourself as you check medical supplies in your village’s apothecary, making a mental note to tell the healer you’re training under that you’re running low on Feverfew and Echinacea.
Fall has arrived in full swing. The dense forest that surrounds your town has changed its leaves from vibrant green to beautiful shades of red and yellow. It’s beautiful, but you’ve never been much of a fall person. You know what comes next. The autumn months mean winter is close behind, and you’ve never liked the cold. For some reason, you can’t shake the feeling that this upcoming winter is going to be a particularly bad one.
You shake your head and return to your task at hand, but you can’t stop your mind from wandering as you continue to take stock of the medical inventory.
After the mysterious disappearance of your betrothed, your parents didn’t try to engage you to anyone else, and you can’t help but feel relieved. Marrying one of the men from your village was never in the cards for you, a fact that you made very clear to them after your formal betrothal’s disappearance. You weren’t interested in marriage or raising a family of your own. Not right now, possibly not ever.
In the end, you decided to train under your village’s healer – a kind old woman named Chiyo, who’s been the town healer for longer than you’ve been alive – as a means of getting out from under your parents.
Despite word of your betrothal’s mysterious disappearance quickly spreading throughout your village, there had been some other potential suitors that had come to you after you had started training at the apothecary. While none of them were rude or malicious, you always turned them down with a gentle smile before sending them on their way.
Besides, none of them held your heart the way a certain pyromancer did.
You haven’t seen Touya for a few months now, not since the disappearance of your betrothed. You’re not completely sure what happened after Touya found him – you’re not sure if you want to know, even though you have a pretty good idea of what happened if the fresh burns he had come back with had anything to say about it. You know better than to ask though, knowing full well that Touya will never tell you the full truth, even if you already know without him having to say it.
You sometimes wonder if there’s anything left of the blacksmith’s son.
You know that you should feel shocked, horrified even, that your pyromancer was capable of doing such an atrocious thing. But all you feel when you think about it, is a strange sense of relief.
You wonder if that makes you a bad person.
Inwardly, you know it probably should, especially when the blacksmith came looking for his son not long after his disappearance. When he had asked you if you knew anything about why his son had seemingly taken off without so much as a word to anyone, you had said no, of course, because what else could you have said to him? It’s not like anyone aside from you could see Touya to begin with, and there no way to explain to the blacksmith the fate that had most likely befallen his son.
Regardless, all you knew was that you’d never see him again. Touya had made sure of that.
There are still search parties that go out every once in a while, looking for him and a part of you wants to tell them that it’s a waste of time, that he’s nowhere to be found, but you won’t. It’s yours and Touya’s dirty secret to share now, and it will stay that way until you take your dying breath.
You suppress a sigh as you take a break from checking inventory, and your thoughts wander back to Touya of their own accord. He had warned you that he wouldn’t be back for some time after he had brought you home – he had serious business to take care of in the eastern part of the country, and he wasn’t sure when he’d be back. You hope he’s doing well, wherever he is.
Your heart clenches when you think of him. You’re not sure what you are anymore. You told him that you loved him, and even though he didn’t say it back to you, you’re certain that he loves you too.
“You know why.” Those words have echoed in your head since he said them to you. You’ve known that the two of you have been bordering on the cusp of something for a while now, and that solidifies it.
You promise yourself that the next time he comes to see you, you’ll ask him what you are to him. What this is.
Eventually, Chiyo dismisses you in the midafternoon, and you find yourself taking the lonely path up towards Dabi’s temple. You’ve started going there a lot more in Touya’s absence. Ever since you kissed the white-haired pyromancer in Dabi’s temple, you had started making a habit of coming back to the derelict temple, in an effort to clean it up a little.
For some reason, Touya seems to have a fondness for the place, and you’re starting to understand why. Despite its outward appearance and dust covered insides, you’ve never once felt unwelcome in the temple itself. It’s calm and quiet, and the more you visit the abandoned shrine, you realize it’s really a shame that it was abandoned by the priests, because it was probably quite beautiful back in the day.
With that thought, you had decided to take it upon yourself to try and restore the temple back to its original glory.
When you had brought up what you wanted to clean Dabi’s shrine to the priests at Hawks’s temple, you had been met with disbelieving looks, as the temple itself had sat vacant for well over a century. But once you had assured them that you weren’t there to cause trouble, and that you only wanted to clean it up a little, they had relented, and even gave you cleaning supplies, telling you that if you needed help, all you needed to do was come and get them.
You had laughed to yourself as you took the cleaning supplies back with you to the temple. The only reason why you had gone to them in the first place was to tell them what you planned to do, regardless of whether they liked it or not. Hawks’s temple was the closest to Dabi’s, and you’d end up walking past it to get to the secluded shrine more often than not. The last thing you needed was them assuming that you were doing something strange, when it was the exact opposite.
You soon found yourself in front of the large double doors once more, but unlike the first time you had entered the temple, you didn’t hesitate to let yourself in this time, shutting them softly behind you. You set your shawl down by the entrance and take off your shoes to avoid tracking any dirt in from the outside. You breathe in deeply as the faint smell of incense hits your nose, looking around the large room with a content smile on your face.
It’s not perfect, but its far better than what it was previously. You’ve washed and cleaned the floors and walls, sweeping out almost a century’s worth of dust and other debris. You’ve scraped the ancient remains of melted candle wax off the alter in front of Dabi’s statue, and replaced the melted down prayer candles with new ones. You brought in some pillows and plush rugs from home that your mother was about to throw out, not wanting them to go to waste, and also wanting to make the temple more homey, in case anyone aside from yourself wanted to visit. You keep incense burning constantly to get rid of the musty smell that has always lingered around the temple, and it finally seems to be working. Lastly, with the help of two priests from Hawks’s temple, you were finally able to fix that damn hole in the ceiling above the statue of the Cremation God.
Now you’re at the temple to do one last thing: clean the giant marble statue of the Death God himself. You didn’t see much of a point cleaning it before the hole got fixed, but thankfully, the sculpture doesn’t seem to be very dirty. Still, you want to go over it, and wash down what you can reach – it’s only polite after all.
Besides, after what you learned about him from Touya, you figure that it’s not a bad idea to stay in the illusive god’s good graces--
“Hello Princess.”
You jump at the sound of a familiar smoky rasp, and whirl around, only to see Touya standing a few feet behind you, a smirk plastered across his dis-coloured lips.
“Touya! When did you get here? I thought you said you didn’t know when you were going to be back! Did you finish with whatever you were doing in the East early?” you gasp delightedly, as the tall man strides towards you. He shakes his head.
“No, the situation there is a bit more… serious then I originally thought. I’m probably going to be there for a while yet, but I had some time, and I wanted to see you.” He stops directly in front of you, and his smirk becomes softer. “How have you been? I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve been… keeping busy.” You tell him, lacing your hands together in front of you. “I’ve started working at the village apothecary. Chiyo runs a tight ship, but I’m learning a lot from her and she’s good to me.”
“What did your parents think about that?”
“Well… they weren’t pleased, but that’s more to do with me telling them that I won’t be courting anyone anytime soon. I told them I wasn’t interested, nor will I ever be. My mother isn’t happy, but at least she hasn’t forced me into any other engagements… not after what happened before you left.” You tell him honestly, and Touya only nods, his expression not giving anything away.
“Glad they’ve finally taken the hint. What else have you gotten up to, pretty girl?”
“Take a look around, you tell me.” You tell him with a tiny smile. You watch his brows furrow together in confusion, and he looks around the room, only for his eyes to widen, like he’s seeing the temple for the first time.
You watch as he investigates the plush rugs and pillows you have scattered around the base of the alter, how he takes in the sight of fresh prayer candles lit at the bottom of the statue – how clean and bright and warm you’ve managed to make it, since you were both here last. He seems overwhelmed, like he’s at a loss for words.
“I did it for you.” You admit softly, feeling your face heat up with your admission.
“You did this… for me?” he asks slowly, not looking at you, as he takes in everything that you’ve done. You smile softly at him even though he can’t see it.
“You seem to be pretty fond of this place, and you know so much about its history, I thought that maybe I could fix it up a little so I could have something to show you when you came back.” That gets his attention, and he fixes his azure eyes on you, locking you in place.
“You did this for me.”
“I… yes… Do you not like it?” you sputter, suddenly worried that you’ve done something wrong.
“No, Gods no. You did this for me.” He says breathlessly. “This is more than I could have ever hoped for.” He closes the remaining space between you, and his obscenely warm hands find your waist, while yours automatically come rest on his chest. “God’s you did this for me.”
“Yes.” You whisper. “Touya? I don’t understand--?”
The words die on your lips as Touya surges forwards and presses his rough lips to yours. You feel the grip he has on your waist turn bruising, as he kisses you hard and deep, bordering on desperate.
“I love you.” He tells you, pulling away momentarily to bring one hand up from your waist to cup the back of your neck. “I love you. You were the first person to see me in so long – I knew you were different, I knew you were for me, and then you did this-“
He smashes his lips back onto yours, and you wrap your hands around his neck. Normally, you’d be mindful of his burns, but you’re so engrossed in his feverish kisses that you squeeze him tightly, and feel him moan into your mouth in response. He pulls back slightly for air, and pants heavily against you.
“Let me have you.” He growls against your lips. “Right here, right now. Gods help me I can’t wait any longer. I need to have you. I need you.”
“Okay, I—okay—yes.” You hear yourself gasping, and suddenly you’re swept off your feet. You feel your back hit something soft. Turning your head slightly to the side, you realize that Touya has placed you down onto a small pile of pillows. The realization of what you’re about to do hits you full force, but you don’t feel scared. You want this, you want him. You’ve wanted him for a long time.
Touya looms over you, caging you in, and runs the back of a heavily scared hand over your cheek. You shiver from the sensation of his feverishly hot skin and the cooler tones of the staples in his hand running over your skin. He gives you a wicked smile, as he sits back on his haunches, and starts to push your skirts up, revealing your bare legs.
You lurch up and grab his hands, forcing him to pause. He chuckles low in his throat at your actions, and pries your hands off of his own, placing a kiss on the back of one as his azure blue eyes meets your flushed face. “Relax my love. Let me take care of you.”
“It’s just- I mean, I’ve never done this before. I’m-“
“I know.” Touya damn near purrs, and you feel heat pool in your belly. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll be so gentle with you, I promise.”
You nod shakily and lower yourself back down onto the pillows, as Touya hikes your skirts up, revealing your legs and bottoms. He groans deeply as he kneads the plush of your thighs. “Fuck Princess, you’re perfect. Just like I knew you would be.”
“You’ve thought about me?” For some reason, his words of endearment strike a chord with you.
“Of course.” Touya murmurs, coming up to kiss you briefly, before taking your hand in one of his own. “Whenever I’m away, or I’m in the middle of a mission – alone and lonely – I think of you.”
He brings your hand down to his crotch, and sure enough, you feel a bulge underneath his pants. “See what you do to me?” he growls as he releases your hand so that he can work on shimmying your panties down your legs. You go to move your hand away, but he fixes you with a stern look. “Keep it there. Don’t move until I tell you to.”
You nod as he hooks his fingers into the band of your panties and leans back slightly to pull them down your legs, almost ripping them off in his haste. As soon as the offending material is gone, Touya gently wraps his hands around you knees and pulls them up so your feet are planted on the ground, before nestling his way back in between them, not taking his eyes off of the junction in between your legs.
“Gods.” He whispers. “Fuck.”
You feel him throb in the thick canvases of his pants as he runs a finger through your folds, causing you to shudder and clench around nothing. “God love, you’re fucking soaked.” Touya hisses, as he pushes your hand away from his hardness and rips his cloak over his head, revealing his bare chest to you.
In all the years that you’ve known him, you’ve never seen him this exposed. His chest is a patchwork of scars and staples just like his arms and face. Most of the skin is dead and badly burnt, but you do see some spots where there are still glimpses of healthy skin amongst the mess of purpled burns. Just like you suspected, his body is lean but ripped with corded muscles that bunch and flex with his every move. He looks like he was built by a god – a god with a twisted sense of humor – but you could care less. You think he’s perfect.
“You’re beautiful.” You tell him honestly – not wanting him to think you were focusing only on his burns – and he looks almost bashful at your words, letting a small chuckle escape him as he gently picks up one of your hands to press a quick kiss on the back of your knuckles.
“Look who’s talking.” He fires back at you, as he uses his thumbs to spread your lower lips apart. It should be embarrassing how wet you are from a little teasing, but Touya looks absolutely enthralled. 
“Is all this for me?” he muses to himself softly. Before you can ask him what he’s doing, he bends down and swipes his tongue through your folds, causing you to moan loudly and try to slam your legs closed on impulse, but Touya is faster – forcing them to stay open with a hand on each inner thigh as he continues to lap at your pussy.
You whimper involuntarily from the ministrations, and Touya squeezes your thighs as he comes back up. “I know, I know love. I can’t wait any longer either. Goddamn-“ he almost snarls; his hands immediately going to his belt, as he unfastens it and tosses it to the side somewhere.
“I can’t believe someone as beautiful as you is letting someone like me do this to them.” he mutters as he pushes his pants down to just past mid-thigh, allowing his dick to spring free – and through you’ve never seen a man’s cock until now – you’re certain that it’s the prettiest one that you’ll ever see.
It’s long and thick and curves slightly upwards. It’s as pale as the undamaged parts of his skin and you think it looks quite lovely. You’re a little nervous about the size of it, but Touya doesn’t allow you to look at it for long, before he’s lining himself up to your entrance.
You swallow thickly as you feel how big and hot the head is pressed up against your tight entrance, and Touya must sense your hesitation, because he drapes himself over you, supporting himself on his hands, as he takes both your hands in one of his own, and gently pins them above your head, stooping down to kiss you once more.
“Breathe.” He murmurs, his breath ghosting over your lips hotly. “I’ll make you feel so good. Just lie back and breathe for me, my love.”
And with that, he slowly pushes himself in.
The stretch is delicious and you know that he’s ruined you for any other potential man. But there’s never been anyone else, has there? From the moment you officially met, it’s always been him. It will only ever be him.
Touya is cursing above you, but you can’t hear him – too lost in your own pleasure. It isn’t long before he’s picking up a steady rhythm, his hips hitting against yours with a wet smack. You’re so wet from his earlier teasing that he glides in and out with little resistance, and you feel your legs starting to shake from the waves of pleasure he’s inflicting upon you.
“Gods, how are you so tight?” Touya groans as he leans down to capture your lips with his. You kiss him back eagerly, wishing that your hands were free so you could wrap them around his neck, but he only tightens his grip on them when he feels you start to resist against his hold. He pulls back after a moment to take in your pretty face and glassy eyes, his hips not slowing down, as they continue to rut into yours.
“You’re mine.” He snarls hotly, swooping down to suck a mark onto the junction of your neck and shoulder, causing you to cry out and clench around him.
“You’re mine- fuck it, you’re mine, no one else’s.” He sucks another mark onto the other side of your neck, and you feel your eyes roll to the back of your head, as something in your lower stomach snaps – the wet sounds of your union becoming louder as you cum around his cock. Touya’s hips falter for a fraction of a second as he registers what happened, before he the last shred of restraint he had snaps, and starts pounding into you relentlessly, ignoring your sobs as he stimulates your already oversensitive insides.
“When you told me… that they had engaged you to that bastard-” He hisses lowly in your ear, as you continue to sob. “-I almost burnt your damn village to the ground. How dare they try to take what’s mine?”
A dark look enters his blue irises. “I wanted to fuck you right here in this temple afterwards – send a message to your parents and anyone else who thought they could have you, that you were spoken for.”
“Touya- I’m-“ you barely manage to choke out in between sobs. Your body feels like it’s on fire from his words. You feel the tell-tale signs of another orgasm quickly approaching, and you didn’t think it was possible for you to feel so good with the way he’s now mercilessly drilling into your insides. You had talked with your married friends about sex before, that was a given, but even they didn’t describe it as feeling this good.
“Tell me who you belong to.” He pulls away, his eyes never leaving yours. “Tell me who you belong to, and I’ll give you everything.”
“You!” You manage to scream out, voice cracking as he hits a particularly sensitive spot in you. “It’s you! I’ve always belonged to you—you alone! I’ve only ever loved—Oh GODS!” you wail as you cum around his length again. The glint in Touya’s eyes become frantic and his hips stutter as you spasm violently around him. He finally let’s go of your wrists, in favour of grabbing your hips with both hands to pull you down onto him and meet his powerful thrusts.
“That’s what I wanted to hear.” He breathes. “Fuck love; I’m going to fill you full of me. Let the whole world – the gods – all of them, know you belong to me-“
You keen at his words, and he manages to grind out a breathy, “Shit-“ as he spills himself inside you, swooping down to capture your lips with his rough ones again, as he fucks his cum into you. You’re so blissed out, all you can do is wrap your arms tightly around his leathery neck, until his hips still; still buried deep inside of you.
Eventually you break the kiss, but Touya makes no move to get off of you. He moves his hands up from your hips, so he can take some of his weight off you, and rests his head on your collarbone, as he struggles to calm his palpating heart. You wriggle your hips and Touya grimaces, mouthing over one of the marks he sucked onto your neck.
“Wait.” He mumbles. “Give it a minute. It’s sensitive.” His comment pulls a laugh from you, and you feel him grin against your skin.
You stay joined like that until you feel his dick soften inside you, and Touya gently pulls out of you. You whimper at empty feeling, and close your legs as you feel a rush of fluid that you already know is a combination of both of your releases, leak out from in-between your legs. Touya smiles at your reaction, the staples in his face pulling slightly as he strokes the leg closest to him gently.
He rolls onto his back on the pillows beside you, and pulls you onto your side, so your head is on his chest. You listen to the rapid beating of his heart, and watch as his chest rises and falls with each breath he takes. It almost lulls you to sleep, but Touya suddenly speaks up after a moment, catching your attention.
“I am the only one allowed to see you like this.” He rumbles low in his throat, running a warm hand down your side, feeling the muscles jump underneath his touch. “No man, no one. You belong to me. I’ll take such good care of you.”
“But you’re going to leave me again.” You whisper, hating how you feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes. “You said so yourself: you have unfished business in the East still. Who knows when you’re coming back…Besides… No one can see you aside from me. How can I possibly explain this to anyone?”
“It’ll be different this time, I swear it.” Touya shushes you, smoothing a hand over your hair. “I’m going to be in the East for a while yet, but when I come back, I’m going to stay here with you, for a long time. No more disappearing acts for a while.”
You lift your head off his chest to stare at him in shock, to gage if he’s saying it to make you feel better, but you see nothing but honesty in his eyes. He touches your cheek. “I promise little one. I’ll make it work. I will stay with you. For as long as I can.”
You don’t mean to, but you can’t stop the tears that well up in your eyes and spill past your cheeks at his promise, as you place your head down on his scared chest and cry. You don’t know how long you stay like that, but Touya makes no effort to get up – simply holding you close and murmuring sweet nothings into your hair as you weep.
It’s getting harder and harder to say goodbye to him every time he leaves. You feel like your heart is breaking inside of your ribcage, whenever he has to go. This time is no different, but it will certainly leave you feeling hollower than the other times that came before.
Eventually, once your tears have dried, you separate to get dressed and fix yourselves up. You’re straightening out your skirts as Touya tosses his dark traveling cloak back over his torso, obscuring his muscular chest from view. He must see you blushing, because he tosses you a grin over his shoulder at you, moving to grab your shoes and shawl for you from the front of the temple.
He kisses you as you wrap your shawl around yourself, and rests his forehead against yours. “Thank you.” He tells you, gesturing around the temple. “For doing this. It means more to me than you know.” You nod in response, and he intertwines your hands together as he leads you to the temple entrance and you exit together. 
He kisses you deeply once more outside the temple. He has a pained expression on his face when he pulls away, and he looks like he wants to tell you something important, but something is holding him back. He’s quiet for a moment before he squeezes your hand.
“I need you to promise me something while I’m gone.” He tells you seriously, and you nod, signaling for him to continue. He sucks in a sharp intake of breath.
“Promise me that you’ll take care of your health while I’m away. If someone comes to the apothecary with a strange sickness, or any signs of odd infections outside of a normal fever – I want you to go home and stay there.”
You furrow your brows, not understanding what he’s saying, but one look at his face tells you that he’s deadly serious and it’s not open for discussion.
You agree that you’ll be careful, and you’ll keep your eyes open for anything strange, and that seems to put him at ease. He kisses you once more before letting go of your hand, and slowly backs away from you. Once he’s a good distance away from you, he smiles sadly at you, before a raging torrent of blue flames engulf him once more, and he’s gone.
Life in the village goes on as normal for the next two months. The brightly coloured leaves that once decorated the trees surrounding your village have started to fall off the branches with large gusts of wind as winter draws closer.
You throw yourself into work at the apothecary, grateful for how busy it keeps you. You haven’t heard anything from Touya for a while now, and you can’t help but wonder what’s going on in the East that has him so tied up. You haven’t heard any news from the Eastern part of the county in a long time, so if something big is going on, your town will probably be one of the last places to know. You don’t see much sense in worrying about it though, so you divide your time between visiting Dabi’s temple, and Chiyo’s teachings.
You’ve almost forgotten about Touya’s cryptic warning – until the stranger shows up in town one day. (Or rather, stumbled in – since he didn’t even make it three feet from the town’s entrance before collapsing in the streets, leading to several concerned townspeople finding him and bringing him to the apothecary for treatment)
He’s malnourished and sicker than you’ve ever seen anyone in your life. You and Chiyo spend days caring for him, with no results.
He dies one week after arriving in town, and is buried just outside of the village borders. An unfortunate tragedy, but you can’t save everyone. A harsh lesson that your mentor has drilled into you. You never even figured out what was afflicting him, though Chiyo think’s it may have been an advanced case of pneumonia.
At first, it was just him.  
Then, another man got sick with symptoms eerily similar to what the stranger had.
Then it was two.
Then three.
Then twelve people in one day.
The number of infected only skyrocket from there.
Before you know it: there is an entire epidemic in your small town. Chiyo eventually figures out what it is, but by that point, eight people are dead and the number of people sick is quickly spiraling out of control.
Plague. The black plague of decay. Death.
Your parents beg you to come home, as they don’t want you around such a deadly sickness, and truthfully, you don’t want to be anywhere near it either – but you can’t leave Chiyo by herself. She’s the town’s only healer and she’s old. You know if something happens to her, the whole town is screwed, so you grit your teeth, mask up, and stay by her side.
For a while, things are going about as well as they can be. People are still dying at an alarming rate, but you and Chiyo somehow manage to stay healthy, and you keep trying to treat those who aren’t as sick the best you can with what you’ve got.
Then one day, you feel light-headed and nauseous out of the blue and you look down, only to notice an alarmingly dark black spot on your arm that you know wasn’t there the day before.
Everything goes downhill from there.
-----
Winter has arrived in your village full force, but you can’t see it. You haven’t seen anything outside of the four walls that make up your room for a while now.
You had caught the plague. The second you had shown Chiyo the black mark on your arm, she had immediately sent you away with some herbs crushed into a tablet for you to take to slow down the spread of the sickness.
Slow down being the key words. There was no cure for the decay plague. Once you had it, it was a death sentence. It was only a matter of time before it took your life.
Your parents had grabbed you and locked you in your room the moment they had seen you stumbling back from the apothecary. You hadn’t seen them face-to-face since. You only saw brief glimpses of them when they opened your door to slide food into your room on a tray, or when they came back to collect your dishes, though these days, you didn’t have much of an appetite.
They didn’t even have to let you back into the house once they saw the mark on your arm. But they still did without any hesitation. Despite knowing how ill you were going to become, they still insisted on taking care of you. You may not have agreed with their choices when it came to your personal life, but it was comforting to know that at the end of the day, your parents still loved you. Even if you went against everything they wanted for you.
A violent fit of coughing racks your frail body, and you automatically lift your arms to cover your mouth. When you pull your arm away, you cringe at the sight of red splattered across your forearm, before dropping it back down beside you on your bed with a muffled thud.
You can’t even look at your arms right now. Your skin, which used to be sun-kissed and clear, is now pale and speckled with ominous looking splotches of black, as the sickness makes its way through your body. You don’t even want to know what the rest of you looks like. You haven’t looked at yourself in a mirror since you were confined to your room. You’re not sure you’ll be able to handle what you see.
The room starts to spin around you and everything hurts. You close your eyes in a weak attempt to stop the jarring movement, but it does little to help you. Opening your eyes doesn’t make things better – your vison has become burry lately, and you can’t focus on anything anymore. Normally this would upset you, but you don’t have any strength left in you to care.
You know that you don’t have much time left. You don’t want to say it out loud, but you know your time is drawing closer. Based on the few times you’ve heard your mother – and on occasion, your normally stoic father – sob outside your door as they collect your untouched dishes, they know it too. You’ve held out longer than most people have, but you know that soon you’ll be making your way to the Underworld, it’s inevitable.
You only pray that all the visits you’ve made to Dabi’s temple over the last few months have paid off, and the Cremation God will be kind to you once he comes to collect you.
Dabi. His temple. Touya.
You feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes at the thought of your white-haired lover, as a single tear falls from your eye, and crashes onto your pillow, humble and silent. 
You’re never going to see him again. You don’t want to acknowledge it, but it’s true. As far as you know, he’s still in the East while you’re here, dying in your room. As tempted as you’ve been to use his name to call him to you one last time, you won’t.
Powers or not, you don’t want him to potentially end up with the plague too. Not to mention, you don’t want him to see you like this. You don’t want him to remember you sick and frail as you are now. You’d rather have him remember you fondly: full of life and happy. There’s no need to put him through that kind of anguish.
Still, it doesn’t stop you from wishing you could see him one last time-
Suddenly, your room feels unnaturally warm. It’s been very cold lately, and you don’t know if it’s because you’re dying that it makes your room feel colder than it should, but now your room is borderline sweltering.
You swear that you see a faint blue glow out of your blurry peripherals, followed by the tell-tale smell of something burning, before the glow dissipates into nothing. The intense heat remains and even though you can’t see very well, you know that someone is in the corner of your room.
“Who is it?” you manage to rasp out and you hear the stranger’s breath falter, as if they weren’t expecting you to be awake. The stranger takes three slow, purposeful strides until they are at your bedside, hovering over you. You blink hard, trying to see who the intruder is, but your vision must be getting worse, because all you can make out is a tall, white being above you.
You have no idea who, or what you’re looking at and are about to panic, until the figure bends slightly, and two familiar, warm, rough hands cradle your cheeks like you’re the most delicate thing in the world.
Choked sobs rack your body despite how much the movement hurts you, because you know who’s by your side, even if you can’t make out his finer features. Your suspicions are confirmed the second you hear his low, gravelly voice.
“Beloved… what has happened to you?”
“Touya… is that you?” you whisper, and you feel his fingers tense under you. His thumbs swipe at your cheeks, even though you can’t seem to make any more tears to shed.
“I’m here beloved. I’m here now.” he rumbles quietly. He falls silent for a moment, then you hear him ask “ Why didn’t you call me to you?”
He sounds… sad… heartbroken even.
“I didn’t want you to see me like this…” you trail off, not knowing what else to say. Touya doesn’t seem to know either, but from the way he sighs, you think he’s holding back tears as well.
“Did I not tell you to be careful?” There is no anger behind his words. Just defeat. You don’t think it’s directed at you though.
“I know.” You tell him, wishing desperately that you could lift your arms up enough to touch his face like he is doing yours. “It just happened so suddenly. There was a strange man who got sick, and then the next thing we knew, almost the whole town was plague-ridden. I couldn’t leave Chiyo by herself.”
“I know.” Touya sighs. “Are you… are you comfortable?”
“I can’t see very well anymore… I think I’m dying very soon.” You admit softly. You manage to reach up to cover one of his hands with your cold one. “You shouldn’t be here… as much as I love seeing you one last time, you might catch the plague as well – I don’t want that for you.”
“The plague doesn’t affect me. Don’t worry yourself about it.” Touya murmurs gently, and you swear you faintly see something red and thick, roll down his face. He leans down to press a light kiss to your forehead, and you’re not sure why, but suddenly your vision clears, and you’re able to see the best you have in weeks. You look up at him in wonder, only for your breath to catch in your throat.
Instead of his normal dark clothes that you’re used to seeing him in; Touya is dressed in a flowing, white burial shroud that exposes his chest. It makes him look eirthral, like a ghost that had come back from the grave. What really concerns you though, is the right side of his face – the side closest to you. The burnt flesh on his lower jaw by his mouth is gone, and you swear that you see the bone underneath starting to appear.
“Touya—Touya what happened to you? What have you done to yourself?”
“Don’t worry about me. It looks worse than it is.” Touya grumbles, dismissing your concerns. “The person that you should be worrying about, is you.”
“I think it’s a little late for that, love.” You tell him softly. “I’ve been sick for a while now… I’ve held out longer than a lot of other people have, but I think my luck is running out fast.”
This time you know you’re not seeing things. You watch in shock as a large droplet of blood oozes out from underneath the burnt skin under his eye and slowly rolls down his face, leaving a shiny red trail behind it as it makes its way down his ruined skin. You try to bring a hand up to wipe it away, but Touya beats you to it, releasing your cheeks long enough to turn away from you and compose himself.
“That crusty bastard. He promised me that he would keep it away from here… guess it got past him too-“ you hear Touya mutter under his breath. “It doesn’t matter now, gods… fuck.” He turns to face you again, and you see a red streak running along the side of his face, where he tried to wipe the blood tear away. His hands return to yours, and he wraps them up tightly.
“I tried… I tried so fucking hard to keep it contained. I thought, if I could contain it to the East, then it wouldn’t spread and it wouldn’t come here, to you. Even though I’ve seen it happen, so many times over the years. I thought I could change it.”
“Touya what are you talking about, you’re not making any sense.” You beg him, but he doesn’t seem to hear you, too wrapped up in his own head, as he squeezes your hands in his own.
 “It’s not fair. You’re so full of life. I don’t want you to die like this.”
Something in his gaze shifts and the sadness from earlier is gone. Instead, a determined look has appeared in its place. He cradles the back of your head and neck with one of his hands as he gently lifts your head up to him, flinching at your pained whimpers.
“Do you trust me?” he asks you urgently.
“Of course.” You whisper, your vison is starting to darken again, but you try and keep your focus on Touya’s bright blue eyes.
“I can stop this.” He murmurs. “I can stop this and save you and what’s left of your town. But you need to make a deal with me. Do you accept?”
“A deal…? Stop this… I don’t…” you whisper, and Touya squeezes your hand, desperate to keep your attention on him.
“The full extent of my abilities come with a price. I can save you, but at a cost.”
“What’s the price?” you find yourself asking. You’re not sure how he intends to save anyone from something as severe as the plague with no cure; much less yourself, considering that you’re almost certainly on death’s doorstep, but you’re curious. Even if you’re beyond saving, maybe your town still has a chance.
“You.”
“Me.” You echo, still fighting to keep your gaze on him. “Why?”
“I told you already, you’re mine, you’ve always been mine. But this will bind us to each other indefinitely. Your life will become mine in exchange for me removing the sickness from you and your village. Do we have a deal?”
“Am I really worth that much?” you tease hoarsely, as you feel your eyes start to close against your will.
“You mean more to me than anything in this pathetic life.” You hear Touya grind out. “Let me do this for you. Please.”
He squeezes your hand, and his next words sound almost desperate. “I’ve never begged anyone for anything in my lifetime and I’ve lived a long time. Please let me do this for you.”
You know that under different circumstances, you wouldn’t agree to anything like this. Touya’s words are carrying an underlying weight to them, and you know there’s something that he’s not telling you. Normally, before agreeing to anything, you’d make sure everything was out in the open and that there weren’t any catches to your deal… but really, how much time did you have to ask about the finer details?
You were out of time. You knew it, and he knew it too.
Really, how bad would it be being his? Wasn’t that what you always wanted anyways?
“I accept.” You whisper, as your world fades to black, not even sure if Touya heard you or not.
He did.
The next few moments are a whirlwind. You feel Touya stand up above you and his hands go to your left forearm – to the spot where you first noticed the sickness. It’s arguably the worst spot on your body. The darkness has spread underneath your skin and takes up almost your full forearm now.
You feel his warm hands press into the skin of your forearm, and for a moment, nothing happens. Then his hands start to heat up, hotter and hotter, and you can smell something burning. You don’t know whether it’s your flesh or his, but you don’t have the energy to scream out, even though the pain is excruciating.
There’s a bright blue flash and you feel something being seared into your arm – in the same spot where your original plague mark was. Heat spreads through your body like a wildfire, and you feel like you’re being burned from the inside out. Suddenly, as quickly as the pain started it’s gone.
You’re shaking, gasping for air as you try to control your rapidly palpating heart, but you can’t open your eyes. Exhaustion hits you full force, and you feel what little strength you had left in you bleed out. Touya is still there, and you feel him slowly ease you back down onto your pillow, placing your arm down at your side once more.
“Rest now beloved. I’ll see you soon.”
No sooner than he says those words, you feel yourself slip off into slumber, and you allow the darkness to take you.
You wake to the sun streaming across your face
It’s the first time you’ve seen any hint of the sun in months, and at first, you think that you’ve died, but the tell-tale signs of stiffness in your muscles tell you that you’re still very much alive, if not very dehydrated.
The thought draws you up short.
You’re alive. You’re alive when you probably shouldn’t be. That means… Touya… he’d done it.
A burning feeling races through your left forearm and draws you up short. You slowly bring your arm up to look at what’s causing the pain, only for your eyes to widen impossibly.
The dark stain under your skin caused by the plague is gone, as are all of the other signs of sickness that had marked your body. What is on your arm, is nothing short of confusing.
A strange symbol is on your arm, in the spot you remember Touya gripping the hardest. A long, straight line runs horizontally done your forearm with three smaller lines running through it. Another long, straight line along the top of the first line completes the marking, and you stare at it in shock.
It covers the spot where you had your original plague mark, almost as if you’d never had it at all.
You reach out and gingerly touch the mark, only for your door to open suddenly – causing you to yank your nightgown sleeve down in a hurry. You glance over to see both of your parents standing in your doorway. It seems to take them a moment to process that you’re awake, and seemingly plague free, before they rushed to your bedside and have pull you into a tight hug.
“You’re awake! Thank gods you’re awake! We thought that we lost you for sure!” your mother sobs, as she clutches you to herself. You’re shocked, and you ask her what she means, only for her to hold you tighter.
“You’ve been asleep for three days. You wouldn’t wake up! Nothing we did worked.” Your mother cries, and you feel your heart drop.
Three days? What did that mean for everyone else?
“We’ve heard from Chiyo that all of the patients at the apothecary have also recovered. She’s not sure how, but the plague seems to have disappeared.” Your father states gruffly, as he strokes your hair. “It’s some sort of miracle.”
Yes, and his name is Touya. You think to yourself. Just what was he, to be able to have the power to dispel a sickness as deadly as the decay plague from an entire town?
“We do have a visitor downstairs, if you feel up to meeting with him.” Your mother informs you as she passes you a cup of water. “Some of the priests are visiting homes on Chiyo’s orders, to check in on families and see if anyone is still sick. The head priest from the Endeavor temple is here. I’m sure he’d love to check in on you now that you’re awake.”
You don’t particularly want anyone to see you right now, knowing that you must look awful and you would much rather go find Touya, provided that he was still in town somewhere – but you nod anyways. Your mother tells you to take your time getting ready, as she and your father leave your room, saying that she would tell the priest to wait downstairs.
The process to get ready is painfully slow. Your muscles are weak from a lack of use, but you’re able to wash yourself if you move carefully. You slip on a clean dress, making sure that the mark on your forearm is fully covered, and run a brush through your wet locks before deciding that was enough, and gingerly make your way downstairs.
You slowly make your way into the living room where you see the priest from Endeavor’s temple sitting in one of the armchairs, waiting for you. He’s a large man, dressed in Endeavor’s traditional colours: dark blues and fiery oranges and reds. Your parents leave when you enter to give you some privacy and the priest points to the chair across from him.
“Have a seat girl.” He tells you, and you sit without a word. You fidget uncomfortably as he looks you over carefully, before finally speaking. “Chiyo specifically asked me to come check on you and see how you’re doing. She wanted to thank you for all your help at the beginning of this mess. She wanted to come herself, but she has a few things to take care of at the apothecary. She sends her regards.”
“Oh, it was my honor. I couldn’t leave her there all alone.” You tell him, lifting your arm to wave off his praise without thinking about it. You realize your mistake too late, as the sleeve covering your forearm slowly rolls down to your elbow, revealing the mark etched into your skin.
The priest stops dead the second he glances at your forearm, ad his eyes widen impossibly. He points shakily to the mark etched into your arm. “Where did you get that from girl? Who did that to your arm?”
You hesitate. How can you possibly explain Touya to him? No one aside from you could see him. They’d call you mad if you tried to be honest, and would cast you out from your home. What would you do then?
‘I… I don’t know if you’d believe me if I told you.” You mutter, clutching your arm close to you. “Why, what’s so special about this mark?”
“That is Dabi’s seal.” The priest hisses as he snaps his fingers at you, and you feel your heart drop into your stomach. “I haven’t seen a mark like that for decades now, but he is closely connected to my lord Endeavor and I’d recognize it anywhere. It has been rumored that he puts that mark onto people who enter into deals with him. I’m wondering how you ended up with it on your arm.”
Your world crumbles around you at his words, and the illusion that you had unknowingly walked into, shattered.
Dabi, Touya, Dabi, Touya, Dabi, Touya, Dabi, Touya-
Touya is Dabi.
How could you not have seen it sooner? Looking back on it, the signs were obvious: how he knew so much about Dabi – or rather, himself. How he could seamlessly travel across large areas with very little effort. How he had powers that far surpassed any mage or race you’d heard of. How he never seemed to age… How his body had lasted so long despite the burns that were very clearly getting worse as time passed by-
The thought draws you up short. A hazy memory of Touya standing over your deathbed. A chunk of his flesh missing from the side of his mouth… looking more worn down than you could ever remember seeing him… Suddenly, you have to find him.
And you think you know exactly where he is.
“I-I have to go.” You mutter, shakily rising to your feet. The priest tries to get you to sit back down, but you shove him off. You barely have time to throw a light shawl around your shoulders and put your shoes on, before you’re running out the door in the direction of Dabi’s temple, ignoring the surprised shouts of your parents.
You are reminded how weak your body currently is, as you have to stop and catch your breath several times on the way to the temple, ignoring the looks that a few curious townspeople are giving you, as you eventually make your way to the temple.
This time, you don’t need to reach for the doors, since they seem to open on their own for you. You step through the entrance and they close behind you softly, shutting you away from the sunshine outside. You notice the temple is seemingly empty, but the prayer candles are lit at the base of Dabi’s statue, and the flames are blue.
He’s here, somewhere, you know it, you feel it, but for some reason, he hasn’t shown himself to you yet. It makes you worry and prompts you to call out his name softly.
“I’m here, beloved.”
The familiar rasp of his voice echoes from behind the larger-than-life sculpture. You smile in spite of yourself, and move closer to the sound of his voice, where you can just make out a shadowy figure partly concealed behind the base of the stature.
“Don’t come any closer.” The harsh growl makes you pause.
“Why?” you ask the shadow and you see two familiar blue eyes staring back at you from the gloom.
“You’re not going to like what you see.”
You hesitate for a fraction of a second before you shake your head. “I don’t care. You know I don’t care about what you look like.” You swallow before adding on. “I think you and I need to talk about some things… about you.”
“So, you figured it out?” the figure rumbles, and you nod.
“There are some things I need to know. Things that I need to understand. But please, I just want to see you. Come out.” You extend your hand towards the shadow, and hear him sigh deeply, before shuffling closer to you.
A burnt hand takes hold of yours, dwarfing it, and the man—no, the deity, pulls himself into the light provided by the candles. He watches as your face changes from confusion, to shock realization, then to—
He doesn’t think he can do it; he can’t watch as you reject him. He knows that he doesn’t look pretty. He looks like a walking corpse and he knows this. He looks more dead than alive and honestly, he is. He knew he shouldn’t hang around the temple, knowing that you’d eventually come looking for him once you had recovered enough, but he’d wanted to see you one last time before he made the inevitable trip back home to the underworld – even if it meant you seeing him like this—
“Oh, Touya. Did… did you do this to yourself to cure me?” you whisper so softly; he wasn’t sure if he heard you correctly. He risks glancing back at you, only to see that your face hasn’t twisted in disgust upon his reveal. You’re holding his hand so tightly, like you’re afraid that he’ll crumble to ash if you don’t, and maybe he would, he’s not sure anymore.
Your eyes meet his, and he sees unshed tears in them. There is no repulsion or fear in your eyes like he thought there might be, there is only concern and worry for him, and he feels his once dead heart thunder in his burnt chest.
He wishes he could feel the texture of your soft hands on him again, but the burns are deep and have spread everywhere now. All he can feel is pressure on his hand where you’re holding it in your own. Suddenly, he feels more vulnerable than he has in a long time.
You stare back at him, trying your best not to shed the tears you feel forming – knowing that they won’t help anything. What remained of Touya’s once beautiful, pale skin is gone. His entire body is covered in deep russet scaring. The mess of staples that he hadn’t bothered to remove or replace, were scattered across his body where they had once held the damaged and healthy skin together. Parts of his body – where you assume the skin had been thinnest on him – are burned almost completely down to the bone. The skin by one side of his mouth is almost gone, and the flesh near his wrist on his other hand – the one that he didn’t give you – has been burnt down to where you can see the tendons flexing when he moves.
He's still wearing the white robes from before. He looks like a wraith, a sight that would terrify even the bravest of people, but it stirs no such feelings in you.
“Does it hurt?” You whisper, not knowing what else to say. He shakes his head.
“I can’t feel anything anymore.”
“Oh.” You croak, not sure if his answer made you feel any better. It doesn’t, but you try not to let it show on your face.
The deity gently removes his hand from yours and moves several paces back from you, as if he’s trying not to upset you. You feel a lump rise in your throat, but push it down. “Did you do that to yourself to cure me from the plague?” you ask him again and he only nods once.
“You and what’s left of your town. I told you; I make good on my promises. It’s the blowback that gets me. Shigaraki won’t like what I’ve done, but he can’t do anything about it.”
You frown at the mention of the other name. You swear that you’ve heard it before somewhere, but you can’t place where from. Maybe if you remember, you’ll ask him about it later, but right now, you have other things you need him to clarify.
“Can I ask you something, my lord?” Dabi snorts at your formalities, and waves you off.
“Please. None of that from you, Princess.  If I wanted you to call me by my titles, I would’ve made you do it when we first met.”
You can’t help the small smile that pulls at your lips. You’d been slightly worried that knowing his identity would change the dynamic of your relationship with him. Thankfully, that didn’t seem to be the case.  
“How come I could see you when no one else could?” you question him. Dabi pauses for a moment, seemingly trying to figure out how to explain himself.
“Honestly, I don’t know.” He responds after a moment. “We walk amongst mortals all the time; we’re just hidden in plain sight. Some humans are different than others, and are able to see us for what we really are, but most mortals can’t see through our disguises. I choose to be invisible, it’s much easier to do my job that way. Normally, the only time humans can see me is when I come to collect their soul, or when I let them see me purposefully. But you,” he fixes you with his intense stare that you’ve grown used to.
“you were an abnormity. I’ve only ever met one or two other mortals in my time alive that were able to see me, even when I was invisible to everyone else.”
“What did you do to them?” you don’t know what prompts you to ask. Dabi looks away from you.
“I killed them.”
“Why though?” You’re not sure if you want to know his reasoning, but this may be the only time you get to ask him.
“Because no one is supposed to see me – it’s taboo. The only time I’m supposed to be visible to mortals is when I come to take you to the Underworld with me. I can’t let people wander around telling others that Death himself is coming. Do you know how much chaos that would cause on the surface?” Dabi snickers to himself.
“But I could see you, and you didn’t kill me.” You press. Dabi lets a small smile pull at what remains of the muscles in his cheeks.
“No, I didn’t.” he agrees quietly.
“Were you going to?” you ask, remembering how tense he was the first time you met face to face.
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you?” You’re not mad about the revelation. You’re just curious. What made you so different from the others that came before you?
“I was going to… But something told me not to.” Dabi trails off, seemingly not having the words to describe why he did what he did. “I couldn’t tell you why I hesitated back then… but I’m glad I did.” The hint of a smile ghosts across his face. “You’re so beautiful. I couldn’t predict everything else that came afterwards. But I’m certainly not complaining.”
Your face flushes a brilliant shade of crimson when you realize he’s talking about when you fucked in this temple… his temple.
You can’t bear to bring yourself to meet the smug look in his eyes, so you try to compose yourself best you can, but it’s hard when you feel his oceanic eyes boring into your being.
“I… I just have one final question to ask you.” You stammer out, trying to fight down the colour in your cheeks that you know he can see. The burnt deity nods, signaling for you to continue. You suck in a breath, suddenly nervous for some reason.
“What… what exactly does this mark that you’ve given me mean? To you, that is.” You ask, touching the mark on your arm with your other hand, and you swear that you hear Touya- no, Dabi, bite back a moan.
“It marks you as mine. To humans and other gods alike, it means you are mine and under my protection.” He growls, a possessive edge in his raspy voice.
“Is that all?” you probe softly. Dabi bites back a laugh, and fixes you with a warm expression, blue eyes glowing like a cat in the dimly lit temple.
“What do you think?”
He answers your question with another question, but it’s weighted. The mark definitely has another meaning to it, you’re sure of it, but you want to hear it from him.
“I think it means something more… but I want to be sure. I don’t remember the finer details of our conversation, since I was… well… dying.” You shrug, trying and failing to look nonchalant. You don’t particularly want to be reminded of that time.
Dabi must see it in your expression, because he immediately drops the teasing act and takes a hesitant step towards you, slowly, as if he’s trying not to scare you.
He points at your arm and you lift it up so he can see the symbol burned into your skin. “That is my personal mark. It means that you’re not only under my protection… but it also marks you as my consort.”
Your eyes flick up to meet his, and you can tell that he’s not joking. He’s deadly serious.
“Your consort? You mean, like… like a bride?” you breathe, hardly daring to believe it. Dabi cracks a smile.
“So that’s what you humans are calling it these days. Yes, you are. Unlike some of my kin, I don’t take multiple wives. It’s just you.”
It takes a moment for his words to sink in, but when they do, you have to fight yourself to stay upright.
“Oh gods. I’m the bride of a god.” You mutter, swaying slightly in place. “You’re a god. You’re an actual god.”
The burned deity only chuckles. “I can’t believe that you never figured it out. It’s not like I was trying to hide it from you at the end there.”
“I mean… It’s obvious you weren’t human, but I didn’t think you were a God.” You mutter. “You just… you acted so… casual. Not like what I’d expect a God to act-- not that I’m complaining of course!” you add on as you hear Dabi let out an amused snort.
You point up at the statue of Dabi- or rather, him. “Besides, it’s not like I knew what you looked like. You’re always depicted with a hood over your face.” You frowned. “Why is that exactly? You’re not wearing a hood. You’ve never worn one when you’re with me. The only time I ever saw you with one was when you were traveling. Not as you are now. You never let any of your disciples see you?”
“They depict me like that because it’s easier that way.” Dabi explains smoothly. “My face changes depending on what part of my… cycle I’m in. Sometimes I look like how I did when we first met – other times I look like… well, this.” He gestures to himself after a brief pause. It makes your heart ache.
“My kind are supposed to be divine beings. Perfect. I am not. I don’t need to be depicted looking like a walking corpse to the few people who still worship me and visit my temples.”
His gaze flicks back up to you. “You were never supposed to see me like this.”
You know that you shouldn’t psychoanalyze him, but you can’t help but find him endlessly fascinating. He may be a god – a divine, primordial being – but his emotions were so very human.
He may go by many different names, but Dabi was Touya. Your Touya, the man you fell in love with over the years you spent getting to know him. The man who would willingly burn down your village to keep you by his side, only to save it in its time of need, for you.
What he looked like was irrelevant.
“What you look like doesn’t bother me.” You tell him softly, taking a hesitant step closer to him. “It never has. You know that.” Touya’s muscles flinch, like he’s fighting against moving away from you, but he stays rooted to the spot as you slowly advance, until you’re close enough to place a hand on the exposed part of his chest – right above his heart.
“I will love you no matter what form you take, because no matter what: you’re still Touya. You’re still the man I love. God or not, you always will be.”
You lean forward and press your lips to what is left of the flesh around his mouth, and you feel him release a shuddering breath, as his arms come up to wrap themselves tightly around you. You pull away slightly to tuck your head against his chest, returning his embrace, ignoring the burnt smell that always clings to him; and you feel him rest his chin on your head.
You don’t know how long you stay like that for, but eventually Touya reluctantly removes his chin from his spot on your head, and lowers it so he can speak directly into your ear.
“I have to go.”
You try and pull away so you can look him in the eyes, but his arms keep you tightly pressed up against him, like he’s afraid that if he lets you go, you’ll turn to smoke and disappear.
“But… you said that we’re bound to each other now? You promised me that you wouldn’t leave again-“
“I know, but this will be the last time I leave without you, I promise.” He rasps in your ear. “This cycle is at the end. I’m dying.”
You feel your heart clench painfully at his words, and suddenly, you’re taken back to the spring, where he took you to his temple for the first time, and where he unknowingly to you, explained his history. Where he also revealed that gods themselves could die, however difficult it was.
“You’re… you’re dying? How, why? I thought you said it was almost impossible for you to die?”
You feel Touya shake his head and squeeze you again. “It’s different in my case. I die a lot. But the difference is: I come back. It just takes a while.”
“I don’t understand, please Touya, what do you mean?” you feel frantic, and cling to his robes like small child. “I-I can’t lose you!”
“You won’t.” Touya promises you firmly, pulling back to fix you with an unwavering look. “It’s difficult to explain, but I’m more like a force of nature then a ‘traditional’ god. My power is great, but it destroys my body and I ‘die’. However,” his eyes narrow dangerously as he thumbs over the mark on your arm, “I’m a god of the Underworld, and we play by different rules than those that reside upstairs.” He points a finger mockingly up to the roof of the temple.
“I have what you humans call a ‘cycle’. Whenever I ‘die’ I return home, so that I can rest and regenerate my body. Eventually I come back to how I was before I got all of my scaring, and start again. The cycle repeats itself over and over again on an endless loop.” He sends you a crooked grin.
“That’s the other half of my secret: Cremation and Reincarnation tend to go hand in hand. But nobody needs to know that except for you.”
“How many times have you done this?” you breathe, but Touya only shakes his head, shooting you a forced smile.
“More times than I can count. I’m not the oldest God in the pantheon Sweetheart, not by a long shot, but compared to you, I’m ancient.”
“Oh.” You murmur. trying to fight down the blush at the stark differences in your ages, and Touya’s smile becomes more relaxed. You fist your hands at the front of his robe and try your best to return his smile. “So, you’re going to come back… for me?”
“Yes. I’ll eventually return to my original form. But it’s going to take me a while to regenerate.”
“Oh gods, you mean I’m going to be an old woman by the time you come back to get me.” You joke, trying your best to lighten the somber mood, and Touya barks out a laugh.
“No, no. It won’t take that long, I promise… but, that being said, it won’t be anytime soon either. I’m sorry.”
You nod, and try to relax your grip on his robes. You smooth your hands over the soft fabric, and inwardly you hum in delight, as you feel Touya’s abnormally warm hands run down your waist. He brings one hand up to your chin and gently tilts your face up to meet his.
“I will be back for you. Make no mistake about that.”
You feel his other hand glide up to your left forearm, the one that now bares his mark, and press on it possessively. “This binds us together. I’ll make good on my promise, and when I come back for you: I’m going to take you around the world with me, just like I promised you I would. I’ll give you everything.”
You feel your eyes water with his declaration. The sincerity in his eyes tells you that he’s not bluffing. He will be back for you the next time he comes to your humble village, and he will show you the world if you so choose it.
“…How will I know?” You finally manage to ask him quietly.
“How will you know what?”
“How will I know that you’re coming back to get me?”
Touya lets a deep laugh rumble out of his throat, and pushes his face close to your ear so he can whisper directly into it:
“Oh, don’t worry… you’ll just know.”
-----
Three years have passed since that day.
Spring has come again, symbolizing rebirth and renewal, and yet seemingly nothing has changed in your little village. You still work at the apothecary with Chiyo, but now you spend most of your time at Dabi’s temple, keeping it clean, and trying to educate those who visit it, more about the reclusive Cremation God.
More people have started to visit the temple in the three years since you last saw Touya, and you’d like to think that he’d be pleased if he could see it. You’re headed to the temple now to do your daily cleaning, and make sure that everything is orderly, before you head back home for the night.
You smile as you watch a group of small children run past you, as you think back to the day that Touya had left you one final time.
Word had spread like wildfire after you had returned from the temple that day – about how you had made a deal with the elusive Cremation God himself to cure the town of its plague, and how you now bore his mark on your own skin, binding you to him.
You thought that you’d be ostracized, a pariah in your town – but surprisingly, the majority of people seemed to accept it with very little backlash. You suppose that’s the closest to thanks that you’ll get for playing a part in saving your town from destruction, but you’ll take it.
More people do tend to keep their distance from you now, largely in part due to your lover’s fearsome reputation, but you don’t hold it against them.
They’ve started calling you Shaoha – Death Woman. Normally, it’s a derogatory name for a demon or witch, but you know they don’t mean it in that way, and you can’t help but find it fitting given the circumstances and your ties to the Death God himself.
You smile sadly in spite of yourself as you make your way through the forest trail towards Dabi’s temple, leaving the village behind you.
You dress mostly in black or deep blues these days, mourning the fact that you haven’t seen your god in years now. He promised you that he would eventually be back for you once he had healed, before you were old and gray, but you wished that he would have given you a rough estimation of how long that would take, because with each day that passes, you miss him more and more.
Your friends have started families of their own, and while you never had the urge to have children of your own, seeing them happy with their husbands makes you wish that Touya was here with you. Your friends give you sympathetic smiles, and try and comfort you best they can. While you’re grateful that they try, it’s not the same.
It’s strange: you’re surrounded by people who care for you, and yet; you feel more alone now then you ever did before.
You reach Dabi’s temple and push the doors open, finding a few people milling about, paying their respects inside, and the sight pleases you greatly. Ever since it was revealed that he had been behind the disappearance of the plague, the townspeople had started coming to the temple more frequently to pay homage to him. You’re glad that you had cleaned up the temple beforehand, even if it was just for you and him initially.
Several of the people take notice of you, and they quickly file out to allow you to do your daily inspection. After deeming everything to be orderly, you make your way back to your home, just as the sun is starting to disappear behind the tree-line.
You reach your house just as dusk has fallen, and you talk with your parents over dinner for a while before heading to bed. As grateful as you are for their company and their efforts to keep you occupied, the constant ache in your chest never fully dissipates, even when you aren’t alone. 
As you lay in bed, waiting for sleep to take you, you send out a silent goodnight to Touya, hoping that he can hear you, wherever he may be. Just as you have done every night for the last three years.
You hope that wherever he is, he knows how much you miss him.
You don’t remember falling asleep. You open your eyes again and your room is pitch black, letting you know that it’s the dead of night. For a moment, you lay there confused, wondering why you’ve woken up at a seemingly random time, only to realize that you feel different.
You don’t feel physically sick, and the sensation that is coursing through your body like liquid fire in your veins doesn’t feel ominous or wrong, but you suddenly have the intense urge to get up and leave. Like you have to go somewhere urgently.
Your forearm – the one that bears Touya’s mark – feels hot. You trace it absentmindedly, quietly musing that the last time it burned like that was when he gave it to you--
Something clicks in your sleep addled mind, and you slowly sit up and push the covers off of you as you stand. You get dressed in long, dark skirts, and throw a traveling cloak around your shoulders for good measure – knowing deep down that you won’t be coming back.
As you walk through the hallways of your dark home like a ghost, you crack open the door to your parents room to gaze fondly at their sleeping figures. You send them a silent I love you, before closing their door, thanking them for everything. You pad silently through your house until you reach the front door, and pull it open soundlessly, stepping out of it for the final time, before shutting it firmly behind you.
You don’t look back.
You feel like a wraith as you walk through the deserted streets of your town, taking in each and every shop as you pass. The bright, pale moonlight is your only source of light as you walk, and before you know it, you’re standing in front of Dabi’s temple.
The burning in your forearm has lessened considerably and you know this is exactly where you’re supposed to be. You step inside, and slowly make your way to the foot of the hooded god’s statue. You smile slightly and take a seat facing the entrance doors that you didn’t bother closing, allowing moonlight to spill into the dark temple. You sit and you wait. You vow that you’ll wait all night if you have to.
You don’t have to wait for long.
There’s a tell-tale flash of blue outside the temple and a blast of searing heat follows, before everything stills again. The sound of slow, deliberate footsteps approaching the temple makes your heartbeat quicken, and the tall silhouette of a man spills across the floor to where you’re sitting at the altar.
A familiar man dressed in white funeral shrouds enters the temple, and makes his way towards you. You can’t help but smile lovingly as you take him in. Even though he looks incredibly different from the last time you saw him, you’d recognize Touya anywhere.
Gone are the dark scars and staples that wreaked havoc on his skin. The man, the god, that stands before you, has skin as pale as snow, almost blending into the white of his shroud. He looks like he’s bathed in moonlight, with eyes as bright and blue and beautiful as the flames he wields. Upon closer inspection. you still see faint seams in his skin where his burns were previously. A remanent of his past life, and one that you find incredibly endearing.
He is not perfect, but neither are you. You selfishly think that maybe you were made for each other.
He stands before you, seemingly at a loss for words, but his deep turquoise eyes tell you everything you need to know. You, however, have quite a few things you want to say to him. So, you start with the obvious.
“I’ve missed you.” You tell him quietly, and he smiles, cerulean eyes looking sad.
“I know. But I’m here now, so that’s got to count for something right?”
“It means everything.” You confirm breathlessly as he cups your cheek, running his thumb across your soft skin. You shamelessly lean into his touch and watch as he smiles at you.
“Ready to go?”
You nod. “I’ve been ready for a long time. You kept me waiting long enough.”
He laughs, the sound deep and rich in your ears.
“I promise I’ll make it up to you. There are so many things I want to show you.” His free hand sneaks down and intertwines with yours. “I make good on my promises, you know.”
You give his hand a squeeze. “I do.”
His heart – the organ in his chest, that he was sure had stopped working after his fall from grace – thunders into irregularity in his chest. Now he’s sure that it beats for you, and you alone.
You, the first person in a long, long time, who’s made him feel something aside from hatred and scorn. The first person to see past the scars, the first one to see him at his worst and still show him unconditional love where others couldn’t, or wouldn’t.
He loves you, and he always will.
He lifts the hand that’s still laced with his, to his mouth and presses a kiss to the back of your knuckles, sending you a smile that makes you melt.
“Let’s go home.”
FIN
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dragons-eat-people · 3 months
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Season's Eatings
Christmas was always one of my favorite holidays, but even more so for my little brother, Everett. He's an absolute Christmas nut, having become obsessed with the holiday. He sings all the songs that the humans do around this time of year with a friend of his, a little French dragon named Wattson. He's a good kid, and the pair are rather inseparable.
Though, this little holiday tale isn't about the two little dragons. Ever heard the saying that "Christmas is about giving"? That's the little moral of this story. After all, the greatest gifts are the ones that wind up on your doorstep.
Our home, whether you'd like to call it Dragonland, or the Alterlands, which is the proper name...but it's separated into sectors. That's how the tribes are separated and such. In our sector, which is called Kulia Forest, we have a...lovely section that I named myself!
Bandit's Run.
The name is more literal than you think. Bandits, thieving humans love to scour own home for ancient treasures. This isn't particularly common during the winter, but...I think you can tell where I'm going with this.
One particular human so far has escaped me. The only exception, he was armed and I had Everett with me at the time, so he's just lucky. Though, you can only imagine the look on my face when an enemy I loathed appeared right on our doorstep...
The season's about giving. Thanks for giving yourself up to me. I pounced forward, latching onto his shoulders with my claws, pinning him down in the snow. He yells, instinctively, struggling against my grip and such. He manages to reach into his pocket, dammit. He still has his gun. My adversary managed to aim at me, clenching his hand around the grip and trigger.
He shoots.
The bullet...misses. What a shame. He curses, right as I wrestle the firearm out of his hands. Here comes the fun part. I smirk voraciously as I open my maw, quick to shove him inside. His screams turn muffled as he enters my mouth, sliding towards the back of my maw, down my throat. My esophagus bloats with his form, sinking down the abyss that was myself. I swallow him in one go, relishing in my prey's frantic kicking and shoving as he travels to my stomach.
My belly expands a bit, and I can already feel the wriggling too. What a treat. I stand smug over my prey, before being caught off guard by a lone voice. One too familiar, but the situation alone is enough to send a chill down my spine. I don't spook easily.
"Sis? Are you alright?" My little brother calls me, walking to the front door to meet me there. I stand up, turning back to see him. His gaze was soft and thoughtless, such an innocent being. I laugh softly, approaching him. "Yes, little one. It's Christmas, you shouldn't be awake this early...did the noise wake you?" I ask, enveloping his little being. I wrap my tail around him, lifting the little dragonet up with ease. Shutting the cold out, the door closes behind us once we're both inside. I navigate the dark room to find our couch, bringing Everett along with me. All the while, my prey is fighting me from within, and I just hope he doesn't notice. We lay down together, almost cuddling.
Everett nestles into my fur without a word. He sighs, closing his eyes. Perhaps he's too disoriented to take in the fact that I've devoured someone, and my belly is a noisy mess. I shake my head. Even if he does know, it doesn't particularly matter. I lean forward, nuzzling him with my snout.
"Merry Christmas."
To all of you as well, thank you so much for all the support here on this blog of mine. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a very safe holiday. I'm looking forward to what I'll have planned in the coming year of 2024 too. I will be announcing the start of new blogs as well, so stay tuned for that announcement, probably within the coming week or the next. Once again, thanks for everything. Your support is what drives me, and I couldn't ask for a better gift for the holidays.~
Unless...some of you are feeling bold and would like to be stocking stuffers? I can dine on wonderous little treats such as yourselves, and maybe a few candy canes too~
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valeskafics · 1 year
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Scream for Me (90s!Aegon/Aemond x Reader, 90s!Jace x Reader) - Scream AU, Chapter Four
A/N: Scream AU with reader as the Sid-type character, Aemond as Billy (no established relationship though), Aegon as Stu, Baela as Tatum (no she's not dating Aegon lmao), and Jace as a mixture of Randy/Dewey
Summary: You go to Aegon and Aemond's house to recover from what just happened and end up confessing something you didn't mean to.
TW: profanity, innuendo, mention of character death, mentions of gore/murder, stalking, perving, aegon jacking off
Word Count: 2,107 words
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.
Tag List (comment if you wish to be added/removed) bold means I could not tag you: @babyblue-chaos @wonder-harley @jessica295 @flavorofsalt @naomishief-blog @zephyrinethedruid @girl-with-an-orange-cat @himbopatrol @desiree610 @tinykryptonitewerewolf @mawofmeraxes @momochiiiiiiii @the-jess-life @onadailybasis @whorefordrew @midnightrqin @its-halleys-comet @caramelcandescence @justanotherkpopstanlol @mmmimilan @have-a-good-day-x1000 @aloneatpeace @polireader @b1gb3anz @geeksnfreaks @hwaillight @avaleineandafryingpan @larix999 @jamespotterismydaddy @dreaming-for-an-escape @ietss @poppyflower-22 @clara02 @ultraviollett @bitchyglitterfox @polireader @b1gb3anz @geeksnfreaks @hwaillight
When you get to the Targaryens' house, the lights are off, and so you turn and run to Aegon, hugging him, surprising yourself at what a fucking mess you're acting like, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m being so fucking clingy-”
“Hey, no,” Aegon shakes his head, pulling you in close, “You went through something really traumatic, Princess, it’s okay. You can be as fuckin’ clingy as you want.”
Aegon looks at Aemond, the two of them sharing a secretive little smirk. You keep your face buried in Aegon’s chest, and so, you don’t see the grin on his face, the laughter that threatens to spill out.
“Mom is out of town,” Aemond says, making you turn your head toward him, still holding onto your best friend for dear life, “So, it’s just us three. As you know, Hel went over to Baela’s. Daeron is over there too, I think. Sleepover with Joffrey.”
The Targaryen mansion is huge. And just the three of you? The thought makes you tense. That’s a lot of places for the killer to hide…
“Why don’t you take Y/N up to Mom’s room?” Aegon suggests, “It’s the only one with two locks,” he grins at your questioning look, “Yeah, she had a second one installed. I’ll sleep down here by the front door and protect ya.”
He knows you’d never let your best friend sleep down here alone. Not when you think he could be in danger.
You just don’t know that the killer poses absolutely no threat to him at all…
“You don’t have to do that Aeg,” you shake your head, “It’s better if the three of us stay in the same room. Safety in numbers.”
You miss the amused look he flashes Aemond, “Okay, sure. If that’s what you want. Go upstairs. I’ll be up in a sec so we can watch the movie.”
You move ahead of Aemond on the stairs, striding forward with a false sense of bravado, “I-I’m not scared anymore, you don’t need to go ahead of me again! I beat the shit out of that guy! I can take him again! I'll protect you!”
He looks at you, biting back a laugh, “Okay, bunny, you go ahead then.”
You nod to yourself and run up the stairs and into Alicent’s room. Aemond turns back to his brother and snickers slightly before following after you.
When Aemond gets up there, he sits beside you on Alicent’s bed.
“When’d your mom get a water bed?”
“Uh, Nyra got it for her as a present, actually,” he grins, “You like it?”
You shrug, “What happens if it gets, like, punctured? Don’t you remember Nightmare on Elm Street 4?”
Aemond gives you a look and laughs, “Yeah, that’s when that kid who doesn’t talk in number 3 dies, right?”
The kid Aegon said you thought was sexy. Aemond really wishes he could murder a fictional character right about now.
You nod, “Yeah, Joey. Man, that guy was too hot to die.”
Aemond grimaces, calling out to Aegon, “Hey, bring Y/N some pajamas!”
Aegon yells back from down the hall, “Yeah, yeah, keep your panties on, ya little shit, I’m on my way!”
Aemond turns to you and shakes his head, “He gets held back twice and I’m a little shit, show me the justice in that.”
You snort out a laugh, your first since the whole incident at your house. Aemond smiles at you, taking your hand in his.
“I’m glad you’re feeling a little better, bunny.”
You grin back at him, “I hate it when you call me that. Should we rewind the movie?”
Aemond nods, “I grabbed it on the way up,” he hands you the videotape of Hellraiser, “Let’s do it.”
You take it from him and get up to place it into the VCR.
"So, why did Nyra give her a waterbed?" you ask curiously as you bend over to pop in the  videotape, "I mean, I'm just curious, I guess.”
Aemond stares at the outline of your ass in that tiny skirt that he handed you to put on before taking you to the police station. He clears his throat when he felt his own pants tightening.
He shrugs, laying back and getting comfortable on the bed, "I don't know. I mean, you know that Daemon and her are swingers, right?”
You nod, “Yeah. He goes to see that chick, what is it, Mysaria?”
Aemond nods, “And she sees Jace’s dad and my mom.”
You raise an eyebrow, “Woah. Didn’t know about Alicent being one of her lovers. Okay,” you come and sit next to him for a minute while the movie rewinds, “But still, why the water bed?”
“You’re such a curious little thing,” Aemond chuckles, making you roll your eyes, “Apparently it makes the sex more interesting. Maybe whenever I get together with the girl I’m into, we can sneak in and fuck on the bed.”
Your eyes widen slightly at the matter-of-fact way Aemond said it. It would appear Aegon is rubbing off on him.
You’re not sure why, but there’s a bitter taste in your mouth as you ask him, “Oh nice, you like someone? Maybe I can help."
Aegon walks in, interrupting whatever Aemond is about to say. He has has a bowl of popcorn in his hands, which makes you unreasonably happy.
A horror movie, popcorn, and two of your closest friends? Other than the almost getting fucking murdered, it’s a perfect night.
Aegon tosses some clothes at you that you catch easily, “In case you wanna change out of your ‘almost got sliced and diced’ outfit, Y/N.”
You glare at him but stand up and nod, “Yeah, I’ll just go in Alicent’s bathroom. One sec.”
When you leave, Aegon turns to him, “You’re sleeping at the foot of the bed. I’m sleeping next to her.”
Aemond’s jaw drops and he shakes his head, “What the fuck, no! That’s not fair, Aegon! I’m the one with the black eye, I should get to sleep by her!”
“You got to feel her up in the house,” Aegon retorts before adding, “Granted, she beat the absolute shit out of you-”
Aemond groans, his hand moving up of its own accord to rub his nose, “Don’t talk about that, my nose still fucking hurts like crazy.”
Aegon giggles to himself, “Man, our girl has a mean right hook.”
“Yeah, laugh it up, asshole,” Aemond sneers, “Tomorrow at school it’s gonna be you!”
“What’s gonna be Aegon at school tomorrow?”
The brothers turn to see you standing there in a tank top and gym shorts that you had left at their place a few weeks ago. With how often you’re there, Alicent had suggested you just leave a couple of outfits for whenever you sleep over, clearing out some space in Aegon’s closet. He had no issue with it, of course. Especially when some of your underwear was among said clothes.
“Oh, you know,” Aegon drawls, eyes moving over your body without any shame, “I’m giving my presentation for Lannister’s class.”
“Ugh, Baela and I did ours last week,” you rest a sympathetic hand on his arm, “Just make sure you’re not reading off of your paper your whole time. He’s such an asshole when he grades them. He wants eye contact. Fuckin’ prick.”
Aegon grins, leaning forward to kiss you on the nose, making you laugh, “Thanks for the heads up, Princess.”
The movie has successfully rewinded and the credits start to roll. You move to lie down between Aegon and Aemond. Aemond is stiff as a fucking board. He’s nervous. Granted, he was feeling you up a few hours ago, but that was Ghostface. This is him, really him.
So Aegon takes the opportunity to pull you into him, tossing a leg over yours and cuddling into you as he always does when you watch a movie. Your back is pressed to him and the popcorn bowl in Aemond’s lap.
Aemond stares at you from the corner of his eye. You are fully immersed in the film, making him smile slightly. You act like you’re so tough, but you’re watching this movie with your mouth open and eyes wide like you’re a little fucking kid. When one of the movie’s villains, Frank Cotton, starts making out with his sister-in-law quite loudly, he notices you shift slightly, averting your eyes.
"There's a lot of sex in this movie," you mumble, grabbing a fistful of popcorn.
Aegon grins, feeling himself get hard against you, “Sure is, Princess.”
You’re too absorbed in the movie’s plot to even notice, rambling about how Kirsty is going to survive because she’s the only one with any fucking brains. How they’re so stupid for digging out the puzzle box in the first place.
The brothers look at each other and grin. Watching movies with you and hearing your rants are almost always even more entertaining than the movie itself.
After Hellraiser finishes, Aemond moves to the foot of the bed, per Aegon’s instructions. You start talking about what happened earlier.
“Did the guy hurt you?” Aegon asks, a look passing between him and Aemond that you miss.
“No, I probably hurt him way more,” you scoff before blushing slightly, “He, uh, actually felt me up.”
Aegon’s eyes dance with amusement at hearing you actually admit what happened, “Wait, what?”
“You heard me!” you snap, grabbing a pillow and whacking him with it over the head, making him laugh obnoxiously, “The killer’s a fucking perv!”
The two boys laugh heartily, until Aemond questions, “Now answer this. No judgment, but did you enjoy it?”
“He killed your ex girlfriend! And my ex boyfriend!” you respond, dumbfounded by the fact that he’s actually fucking asking you that, “What do you think, Aemond?”
“That’s not an answer, Princess,” Aegon grins, “C’mon.”
“Of course I didn’t,” you insist, laughing nervously, eyes darting from Aegon to Aemond, “You guys are insane, you’re so nuts for this.”
“Then why is your face turning red?” Aemond chuckles, “C’mon, Y/N.”
“Tell the truth, angel,” Aegon teases, moving closer to you.
Maybe if you hadn’t been so busy trying to cover up your lie, you would’ve noticed the pet name…
You stay quiet for a minute and then bury your face in your hands, “Yes, I enjoyed it, okay! I’m a despicable human being! I enjoyed being felt up by a fucking murderer because I’m a dumbass sexually frustrated virgin,” you continue ranting, “You know, I don’t get how virgins survive these things! Because I was half ready to just fuck the guy and get it over with! I’ve gotta be a psycho for that, right?”
Aemond smirks to himself while Aegon starts cackling and says, “Nah, you’re not a psycho. You’re just human.”
“Ugh, just put on Silence of the Lambs,” you demand, “It helps me fall asleep.”
Aemond looks at you, shaking his head, “If the killer hadn’t attacked you, I’d swear you’re the killer.”
“Oh, bite me, asshole.”
Don’t tempt me, Aemond thinks to himself, putting in the movie.
About halfway through the movie, you and Aemond both fall asleep. Careful not to wake you, Aegon moves to turn off the TV. He gets back in bed beside you and watches the steady rise and fall of your chest for a moment before he rolls over onto his back. He waits for sleep to take him, but unfortunately, he is uncomfortably hard. He breathes deeply before reaching his hand into his pants. He strokes up and down, half hoping you will wake up and help him. Aegon stares at you, your lips parted ever so slightly. You look so vulnerable right now. And he knows what he’s doing is wrong, you’re his best fucking friend. But, he’s literally killed for you.
He thinks he’s earned this much.
He continues his stroking, imagining himself inside you. Suddenly, you let out a moan of your own, in her sleep.
"Aeg," you whimper in your sleep, "Mm, that feels so good. Harder. Fuck, yes, Aem.”
Aegon cums immediately and stares at you in shock. Are you seriously having a dream about having a fucking threesome with them? He knows it doesn’t really mean anything, it’s a fucking dream after all. And like you said, you are a sexually frustrated virgin.
But could it be that their plan is starting to work?
He gets up to wash his hands. Getting back in bed, he sighs and brushed a stray lock of hair off of your face before kissing your forehead.
"Sweet dreams, Y/N,” Aegon smirks before he turns out the light.
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triple-a-aro · 1 month
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thanks for turning on anon asks!! i dont want to get this linked back to my actual account where i try to keep things pretty discourse-free. what i wanted to say is that i really get where yr coming from with the falling into transmasc vs transfem thing??? i find myself going oh no thats a trans woman so shes not gonna like me a lot and then i feel really guilty abt it so its good to know that other transandro bloggers are aware of that whole thing. how do you keep yrself from falling into those thinking patterns?
No problem at all, anon! I understand that this can be a topic that you don't necessarily want. attention. on you. Perfectly valid to keep yourself safe.
This touches on something that I've been realizing more often for myself, though! When you are educating yourself on topics such as transandrophobia, the loud and vocal minority of transandrophobes are likely to speak up in comments and replies of posts doing so, which makes it seem like they're everywhere. Much like vocal transphobes, we must remember that this is a minority; most people may not have even heard of transandrophobia, but I'm sure they'd agree that "trans men experience oppression for being trans men that other trans people don't experience". Because that's common sense.
The other reason I find myself falling into that pattern is the centering of trans women in these transandrophobia discussions. A lot of it ends up with people arguing if transmisogyny is worse or not, and I think that misses the entire point. But if you see these transandrophobes going on and on about trans women having it worse (and some of those people being trans women themselves who are lashing out for whichever reason), you're going to start connecting transandrophobia and trans women.
Which sucks. It really fucking does. The brain is equipped to notice patterns, and it's going to emphasize in accordance to how transandrophobes emphasize.
So how do I personally stop this from happening?
I follow trans women. Feels like a no-brainer, right? But recently I realized I was not following any trans education that was run by trans women, mostly because I had been scared of researching into the blogs themselves in case I found bigotry towards trans men, and I am not in the business of digital self-harm. If anyone has any good blogs feel free to drop them here, and I'll reblog!
If I feel myself getting incensed, I step back If you find yourself getting really mad, step back and ask yourself: - Where is this anger coming from? (At transphobia or has it been construed somehow?) - Where is this anger directed? (At transandrophobes, or at trans women?) - Who has posted this? (TERF psyops do exist, and if a blog is posting inflammatory content, they might be baiting you) - Is this user in the same circle as other transandrophobes? (There was a ring of particularly nasty transandrophobes that I blocked for mocking trans men and suggesting corrective sexual assault, and I have not found as many since)
Go to irl queer spaces. While this is not going to be a solution for everyone, I find stepping offline and talking to irl trans women is beneficial. Make friends with trans people! This discourse is so terminally online, and the only reason I participate in it is because I do what I can irl and therefore my only contribution is not arguing over discourse.
I also interact with other trans men who are normal about trans women as well. I hope this helps! Media literacy is good to practice, and I'm proud of you for owning up to something very hard, anon.
If we have any other suggestions, pop 'em down in the replies or reblogs!
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periodiccompletionist · 9 months
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50% of 118 is 59; 75% of 118 is 88.5; 90% of 118 is 106.2
Periodic Symbols are: H He Li Be B C N O F Ne Na Mg Al Si P S Cl Ar K Ca Sc Ti V Cr Mn Fe Co Ni Cu Zn Ga Ge As Se Br Kr Rb Sr Y Zr Nb Mo Tc Ru Rh Pd Ag Cd In Sn Sb Te I Xe Cs Ba La Hf Ta W Re Os Ir Pt Au Hg Tl Pb Bi Po At Rn Fr Ra Ac Rf Db Sg Bh Hs Mt Ds Rg Cn Nh Fl Mc Lv Ts Og Ce Pr Nd Pm Sm Eu Gd Tb Dy Ho Er Tm Yb Lu Th Pa U Np Pu Am Cm Bk Cf Es Fm Md No Lr
EDIT: As of November 14th 2023, I've decided to start keeping track of when a post does not include a single-letter element. Single-letter elements are, in order: H B C N O F P S K V Y I W U. These posts will be tagged with "missing single".
Spaces, capitalization, emojis, numbers, and punctuation will not be taken into account. For example, the term "lush🍃13garden" would still count for Mercury (Hg). Letters are the only thing that interrupt symbols.
Anything that isn't a tally is tagged with "not a tally", asks are tagged with "Arsenic Potassium Sulfur", and posts people tagged me in are tagged "Thanks for the tag!" (because "tag" and "tags" unfortunately can't be made with only elemental symbols. they could if we had G but we do not)
Some things to keep in mind:
I try to avoid any piece of moving media (video/gif) that has words in it of any kind. I'm already a transcriber as a job, and while I love it, I'm not gonna do it on my silly little side blog.
I usually don't analyze anything fandom-related, since nothing good can come from a fandom post leaving its circle. There are some exceptions I'll make, though.
I use a script to search for the symbols, but it can't read the words in images, so they have to be retyped into the script 100% manually. I'll most likely still do it, but just keep that in mind when sending in posts with lots of images.
I'll only analyze posts where it's very clear what order things are read in; charts, graphs, doodle pages, and other images with words all over the place won't be counted.
When it comes to URLs, I don't count them for the main tally unless they show up in a screenshot or as a tag somewhere in the thread; instead, the URLs of the users in the thread are listed out afterwards in their own separate tallies, with the elements listed in the order that they appear in the person's URL (this does not include URLs that only appear in screenshots/tags).
If you tag me in a post, I won't be counting anything that you added to the thread, though you will still be part of the secondary URL tally.
When I make a tally, I (usually) won't be adding my own comments, and on the occasions that I do, whatever is in my comment is not added to the final tally.
I tend to stray away from analyzing posts with other similar gimmick blogs already in them these days. This is because we all tend to influence each other's results- for example, if I analyzed a post where alphabetcompletionist tallied up all 26 letters, that would (potentially) artificially add Cd, Mn, and No to my tally. If I did end up doing this, I would be highlighting Cd, Mn, and No in a different color to denote that they would not have been there had I not reblogged from alphabetcompletionist directly.
My main account is not disclosed at this time; please do not try and find out what it is or I will block you. Another blog I run that is publicly known is @cantheykillmacbeth, if you just want to see more from me.
There might be times where I will accidentally reblog from someone other than the source of the post, or where I can't due to the source having been deactivated. If you go digging into the people that I reblog posts from, I am not responsible for what you see. If you blame me for what you saw from the people I happen to follow, then you shouldn't have gone looking in the first place. That's on you.
I will not be adding my gimmick to posts about serious topics. This is not because I do not care about these topics, but the exact opposite: I do not want the gimmick of this blog to be used to detract from anyone's message. These sorts of gimmicks are meant to add to the humor of a post, not act as a twisted punchline to a serious discussion. If you tag me in a serious post, you will be ignored (at best).
I don't care how you feel about gimmick blogs. I'm having fun and you can't change that. Seethe.
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reneethekraken · 1 year
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What a Doll
Being an office rep at the Revision of Hero Society comes with costs, talking to everyone and trying to not make an enemy out of the wrong ones. Somehow this means becoming business partners/ Frenemies/Pining lovers with Backugou and Kirishima. Though, Gangsters, they know everything about their community and these people are still people, and it's your job to help them. Being so young and running for office means being bullied by the older members of the Pro Hero society and eventually being pushed to the company, laying her off and leaving her alone with her thoughts. Shutting everyone out for weeks before finally leaving to party with Mina for a bit and when she sees Bakugou in the bar she dashes leaving her purse and keys on the bar counter. And of course, seeing her he follows her taking her keys with him.
WARNINGS: Angst, emotional, Bakugou doesn't realize how mean he is because Kirishima likes it, Reader is soft asf, Bakugou is definitely still an asshole. Blank blogs and ageless blogs DNI
PAIRING: Bakugou x reader, suggestive kiribaku x reader
WORD COUNT: 1.5k 
A/n: constructive criticism is always appreciated
This is ridiculous. I couldn't think of a sillier way to go home than this one. Walking slower than my thoughts so I can keep up with myself and not throw my eyes over my left shoulder. My feet are sore from the jacked up heels, my blouse is too wet from my urgency to have a good time and my pants are too thin as the wind blows around me on this street. All while my car slowly rides to the left of me.
He's mocking me, he has to be
He mocked my choices trying to tell me that he's already won. I don't know what to say because the thought of speaking to him brings tears to my eyes and my throat gets so tight I want to die.
I’ll never be prepared.
I'll never be able to stand up to them. Even on the days, everyone thinks I have them right where I want them, a board full of pieces that I've already accounted for. They'll never understand that the two of them are the ones who drew up the board. It's greedy, to have someone who shares similar ideas as me yet degrades my every move
“That was a selfish decision. You would have done better writing up your damn think pieces and putting them in a burn book instead of slathering your name all over an unfinished piece that makes you look like a lousy piece of uptown nobility. I don't live here but you all are making a ruckus and it makes me feel bad that I get to sit in my highrise and even look at ya.”
“If I was on the board you would have been put out the commission a long time ago, fixing my city yet telling me how’re gonna take my job, drink my coffee, and fuck my wife all before noon.” 
That's a sick way to live, miss board member, good plan. Even better spokesperson. The Daughter of mass Mutiny comes from the 3rd and last gang in the U.S. and yet she sits here in the Commissioner's office thinkin’ she's better than me. That title doesn't negate that if I wanted you and your bright ideas I'd take I’d still side with the very office that's shooting down every punch you make. And when you're beaten down thinking there's nothing else you could do, I’d give you my hand and let you realize there's nothing ever you'd be able to do in my city without my okay.
“You're lucky he sees something in you otherwise we wouldn't be friends, Doll.” 
Always had that same condescending tone as he called me about whatever decision I publicly made. Most of them were good ones; he was literally just a hater. 
“Did good out there today Doll, real good. Eiji and I are real proud of the progress ya making in sectors 7-9 keep that up and maybe I won’t have to berate ya every other day. Don't get too comfortable though Yakato is speaking wi-”
On the rare days I did get a good call he always managed to put his stamp on it. And sometimes even when he talked down on me I sat there and took it with wet panties and bated breath ready to hear him be soft with me again right before he stamped it.
Friends?!? Friends, I wouldn't even bat an eye if he choked tomorrow! In fact, I would be the first in line!  Until he knew exactly what it felt like to have his entire life's work spit on and shredded because of it being work of public relations community service logs. He's greedy and he won’t have me, because that's all it’ll take for him to win. Presenting me to his partner like a Christmas present. Popping champagne while I sit there naked and waiting for orders like all the other sick fucks that follow behind them as they need them.
I don't need them. But I do need him to get the hell out of my car. Maybe that's why I put my pride aside, I tried not to let my tears show and my anger release through my words.
Teeth clenching and eyes lowered into the passenger window, “What do you want Bakugou, why the hell are you following me late at night? You know stalking is a crime, correct?”
“It is if there's proof and your life is endangered. It could be from someone else looking to have a lucky night with a lady walking on the side of the road at 2 am looking like a call girl.” He smiled, put the car in park, and opened his door slowly. Standing over the side of the vehicle like he wanted more, needed it. “Nobodies seen ya in 3 weeks. We all thought that Having to step down from the board made ya yoke. I was hoping it had not.” He said the last part softer but that boyish grin never left.
“ It’s temporary.”
“What?”
“My decision to step down from the board is temporary and if it runs till November I’ll resign and apply again.” I was closer now to the passenger side. I wanted to show him that he didn't own me and that he didn't scare me.
“Always the fighter. Did you not have time to come see us before ya left?”
“I came because Mina said I could have a good time, I left because I was ready to go.” He sucked his teeth hearing my quick retort.
“You're hurting my feelings, thought we were friends?” He slowly rounded the car, stopping in front of the hood to play with the radiator grill.
“YOU and Kirishima are not my friends, were business partners who come together to correct hero society on blue moons-
“Then I’d say we've had more blue moons than the smurfs”
“I'm trying to be serious and professional and you're making it hard for me.”He was in front of me now and I couldn't help but look past his neck. I wasn't strong. I let the media get the best of me and the hero community. I let Bakugou and Kirishima’s backhanded compliments and weird pinning throw me off my game and accept my resignation, no temporary relief of position. He was too close, his collared button down hiding the swirly black ink of his gang insignia. The ring holder chain held a ring with opal on it. I wondered what my ring would look like next to Kirishima's
 “I don't need you rubbing my failures- I lost and because of me the city and its people will be without someone advocating for them, all of them. Someone who cares about them. WHO WANT THE BEST FOR EVERYONE EVEN IF IT MEANS DISMANTLING THE VERY SAME SYSTEM THAT KEEPS THEM SAFE BECAUSE IT ALSO KEEPS OTHERS IN SITUATIONS THAT LEAVE THEM WITHOUT.
The Tears fell and I was finally looking at him. He wasn't smiling anymore. I pushed his chest, again and again, and again. “And you were nowhere to be found, NEITHER OF YOU AND I
 CALLED AND PLEADED AND CALLED AGAIN AND MY SO-CALLED FRIENDS WERE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.”
He grabbed my arms and pinned them to my side as I cried, into his shirt, into his skin, holding onto the very fabric that held the man that I swear I hated “I know and I’m sorry. Some things were more important at that moment–”
With a croaky voice and a tighter grip, I asked what I always wanted, always needed, needed to know from him.“Am I not enough? Am I not important enough to come to the rescue? Are my problems not satisfactory on your list of important shit that needs to be tended to. What about my feelings?” He hugged me tight and sighed into my hair. “ You won ya know.”
“I didn't wanna win, I wanted to make you work hard, I promise I just wanted to prepare you for what was out there. If I coulda I woulda been on the first flight back to help but I couldn't and were sorry, Doll. Eiji is waiting for us at the house. You want me to drop you home or do you want to stay the night at ours because I swear–”
“I wanna see him too, I’m tired of this runaround. Are we friends, are we enemies, our business partners on the occasion when both sides of the coin retire us to some janky place to drink scotch? Are we pining after each other? I Don't know what we are or how we're gonna make,” I point to the space in between us, “work but I’d like to see where it goes just lessen up all that damn bark. I’m sensitive.”
He pecked the top of my head and opened the passenger door for me. Jogging over to the other side. He threw on some random radio station and put the car in drive.
 “Okay.” 
Please please reblog if you like it so I can get feedback, and find things others like to read so I produce more content! 🥰
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rockbottomwithashovel · 8 months
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Tw suicide
Hey guys. I'm just posting this to say why... And to say I'm sorry. I don't know what to say, I suck at goodbyes. I just don't think I can do this anymore. It's like the universe is giving me more reasons to die each day.
I never wanted it to be this way. I started to think I could actually recover, live a long and happy life. But that moment was so short. I just can't do it.
I haven't been able to be happy for more than a minute since I was 10. I was just a child, and I had already gone through so much. But it was only just starting.
When I was 7 or 8 I was sexually assaulted. It was around this time that I started to more or less live on pot noodles as I wasn't allowed to make anything, but my mum mentally couldn't either.
When I was 10-13 I was emotionally and mentally abused. I was bullied for years, they made me do things and if I didn't I'd be the one with the bruise. The guilt eats me every day. There are rooms and memories from that time and school that don't make sense and I can't remember. I don't know why. The bullying even came from teachers. This was a private Christian school.
From when I was 10 I had to spend excursions at home as we nearly lost the house, and I had to miss days of school to stay home and look after my mum, who was suffering from depression and needed support. This was when the household chores all fell on to me and my twin.
When I was 13 my mum tested me against my consent for aspergers syndrome (now called ASD). It came back positive. She told me when I didn't want to know. This caused a chaotic and unstable household. I was suffering ptsd that I didn't understand. My parents made me feel crazy. I was running away and coming back, missing school, not sleeping. Asking for affection but only getting attention if I was a problem.
When I was 15 I told my best friend of 10 years that I have ASD. She never spoke to me since.
When I was 16 I was groomed by a man online, leading to me seeking out more aggressive and manipulative people online to make me feel good about myself. The shame lasted longer than anything else. Then the pandemic hit. My friend tried to kill herself. She left most people notes... Not me. She doesn't really speak to me now. I don't know what I did wrong.
By 18, I had tried to kill myself more times than I could count, never getting far (I was only 13 when I first attempted).But things started to look up. I had survived school.
Now, at 19, I've been to aa, the mental ward twice in one year for suicide attempts, I have depression, anxiety, ptsd, insomnia, atypical anorexia, suicidal thoughts, I self harm so much I could never wear short sleeves again. And I'm having psychotic episodes. I don't know what it is, I'm scared to be diagnosed, but my therapist has suggested a few things. As someone (if you've looked closely at my blog, you'll know who) once said, it's a living, breathing nightmare.
Maybe I am a coward. Maybe it's just too much and I'm too weak. But it hurts so much or I can't feel at all. I can't keep doing this.
People say they love me, that I'm important or they'd miss me. But I just don't know if I can believe that. People call me pretty but the mirror makes me want to hurt myself. I'm ugly. Unlovable. I'm just a burden and a waste of space. I'm so sorry if I am important to you. I don't want to traumatize anyone or hurt anyone but this just hurts so fucking much I don't know how much longer I can be strong. Maybe I'm just not meant for this.
I need you all to know I love you. You mean so much to me. I'm so fucking sorry if I hurt you. I'm so sorry. If you're struggling, please get help. You deserve happiness, hope, love. I believe in you. It will get better. If you see someone struggling, please look after them, even just a stranger on the train with leaking eyeliner. Just ask if they're OK. You could save their life.
I've got pierce the veil on the 27th. I'll do it after then. I'm not sure if I can hold on that long though. I'm so sorry for any pain I'm causing. I hope you're all OK <333
Love,
Rock
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alloutofgoddesses · 3 months
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WIPS of Fics From 2023
These are fics I started reading in 2023 that I will be (hopefully) continuing to read in 2024!
Dark Matter by mysterycyclone - When Thanos snaps, the souls of those he takes end up in the soul stone. However, Spiderman had managed to break off a piece of the stone, and ends up in an alternate dimension with superheroes he’s never heard of and ghosts in his head. (Peter Parker meets the Bats AU - 43 chapters)
Peter the Pizza Guy by Irisen - Dr. Strange’s spell has unforeseen consequences. Peter Parker, suddenly in a different universe, now must figure out how to survive in the most dangerous city in America - Gotham. (Peter Parker meets the Bats AU - 36 chapters)
In for a Pound by Cdelphiki - Damian Al Ghul-Wayne is given to his father as an infant. Dick Grayson is eleven. Bruce Wayne is out of his depth. What happens now? (Damian joins the family early AU - 6 works)
no grave could hold my body down (i'll crawl home to her) by loungemermaid - Finnick survives the mutts, but only just. Adjusting to a body missing large parts of itself and a pregnant wife, Finnick lives on. (Finnick Lives AU - 11 chapters)
Tomorrow Will Be Kinder by bellablue27 - Peeta and Katniss grow together after the war. Currently on hiatus but I'm holding out hope that one day it returns. (Post-Canon Fic - 17 chapters)
take these broken wings and learn to fly by fishingclocks - Dick Grayson loses his parents. Bruce Wayne can’t help but try to rescue the boy from himself. The Batman has a new target. (The Batman 2022 Post-Canon Fic - 17 chapters)
Minefield by coyote_nebula - The Bats love each other. They just have a hard time showing it. (The Waynes and their extended family go on connected adventures - 16 works)
Shutterbug by goldkirk - Tim Drake is good at what he does. He runs a blog, weaves his way unseen throughout Gotham, and he doesn’t need his parents. Unfortunately for him, his neighbors disagree. (AU where Jason lives and Tim can’t catch a break - 9 works)
Wayne Family Social Media AU by tiredofsatansbullshit - Everyone needs a good social media fic from time to time. The Bats, the Waynes, and various others have a very active online presence. (14 works)
A Nest We Can All Call Home by A03time - Dick, Jason, and Tim are orphans who found each other on the streets of Gotham. When Jason decided to steal from Batman of all people, everything changes. (The Robins Meet Before They Meet Bruce AU - 6 works)
How Dare The Robins Sing by CountDyscalculia - Tim Drake has severe dyscalculia. It doesn’t matter though, because Batman needs a Robin and he’s ready to do whatever it takes to get him one. (Tim Drake refuses to ask for help for currently 25 chapters)
Check My Vitals (and tell me I'm still alive) by scrappedyonder - Tim is a metahuman successfully keeping the secret from Batman, his mentor. That is until Red Hood nearly dies and Tim takes matters into his own hands. Now that Jason knows, it’s only a matter of time until Bruce knows as well. (Metahuman AU - 3 works)
straw-verse by deargalileo - Alfred makes a friend out of his young neighbor. Silly straws are heavily involved. (Tim joins the family early AU - 3 works)
buy back the secrets by sundiscus - Conner Kent doesn’t know Robin’s secret identity. Tim Drake does know Superboy’s secret identity, making it super awkward every time Superboy saves Tim Drake. (TimKon fic - 4 chapters)
what's past is prologue by Icestorm238 - Dick Grayson remembers an alternate life before most of its events happen. He uses this knowledge to do everything in his power to change fate. It’s not as easy as he thought it would be. (Canon Divergence AU - 5 works)
the unfridging of jessica more by winterfire22 - Jessica doesn’t die when the yellow-eyed demon comes after her. It changes things - drastically. (Canon Divergence AU - 3 works)
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