So I've been thinking a lot about the setting of Disco Elysium. Specifically it being set in late winter/early spring. It's not something I've really seen anyone else bring up.
I mean, the symbolism seems pretty obvious right? Spring is the time of new beginnings, winter is ending and we're entering a time of potential and rebirth. Definitely nothing new. But I think it goes beyond that.
I live in one of the coldest major cities in the world. Not *the* coldest, but you'll be hard-pressed to find a city with over 1,000,000 inhabitants that gets colder than it gets here. Winters are long and brutal and difficult, and when the soil itself is frozen and covered in a foot of packed snow it's really hard to believe that the world could look any other way.
And don't get me wrong, winter is beautiful. The world is quiet and picturesque. There's none of the usual dirt and debris in the streets because it's all buried under the snow. The way that fresh snow sparkles under street lights at night is one of the most breathtakingly gorgeous things I've ever seen.
It's early April right now, and the snow is melting. It's not all gone, but it's getting there. When the air starts to warm up there's this feeling of excitement and anticipation in the air. Spring is here, and any second now the world will be bursting with new life and beautiful greenery.
But it's not. Not yet.
For about a month and a half after the snow starts to melt, the world is grey. No glittering snow, no budding flowers, no swirling red leaves, just puddles of brown water and lawns of brown grass. It's like winter had ended, but the world has yet to realize that it's supposed to be spring. Until it remembers, we're all trapped in a world where there is no season at all.
Sometimes it snows, but the snow never sticks around. Sometimes it rains, but the rain never brings flowers in its wake.
That last month of winter, that first month of spring, whatever you want to call it, is my least favourite time of year. I heard it described once as "the long-preserved corpse of autumn, finally allowed to rot", and that phrase stuck with me. There are eight month old leaves on the ground, skeletal and bleached grey by a winter trapped under the ice. Without the snow to cover it, you can't ignore just how much we've let our city go to shit. The trees are bare and skeletal, and even the evergreens look washed out and grey when they're not contrasted against the snow. Most of the birds aren't back yet, so the only sound outside my window is the ever-present hum of traffic.
It's impossible to ignore the movement and the sounds of humanity, but at the same time the world has never felt so stagnant.
I think there are all sorts of comparisons you could draw here, some of which hold up better than others. The one that first comes to mind for me is sobriety- the line "Full recovery will take years, though. It’ll be depressing. And it’ll be boring. Don’t expect any further rewards or handclaps." from the "Waste Land Of Reality"o thought is one which really stuck with me on my first playthrough, and one which feels especially appropriate here. But that's just one angle.
How much of this was intentional? I don't know. Probably not most of it. Part of me just wanted to go on a little tangent about the seasonal purgatory I'm trapped in once again. But I genuinely don't think there could be a better time of year to set a game like Disco Elysium. That bleak dusty shoulder season, where all the ugliest and most honest parts of nature and civilization are on display. The time of year where I've gone through the ringer and come out the other side, but everything still looks and feels like shit. It's just a different kind of shit.
Spring isn't here. Not yet. And when it does come, it won't fix anything. There will still be garbage on the ground and pollution in the air, there will still be class inequality and senseless violence and I will still be mentally ill.
But still.
For the first time in months, I can feel the wind against my skin without it hurting.
Whatever that's worth.
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Cross x Y/N Short Story
In all honesty this was very spontaneous... And I just got home so I can get back to writing everything else!
(I do not claim the art as my own)
*cough* @tehrogueva @kuuuuro @pandimoostuff
Cross belongs to @jakei95
TW: Suggestive
Enjoy!
~o0o~
OuterTale. The place where the stars shined brighter than the lights in the city. The place where comets and galaxies shimmered with color. An empty space where people came to contemplate life and make big decisions.
OuterTale was an AU that could never be forgotten. OuterTale was where the darkest secrets unfolded.
You were told to meet one of your closest friends here, Cross. He seemed so nervous when asking you, which was unusual for his behavior. Sitting down on a cliff edge, you start to recall the conversation a week before.
You were at a Grillbys in some AU that you forgot. Cross was sitting across from you and you guys had a lovely conversation. There was lots of laughter and wheezing, to the point most of the people around you looked genuinely concerned for your guys' well being. You ended blaming it on whatever drink you had that night.
"Y/N," Cross calmed down before changing his tone. "Uhm... Would you be able to meet me at OuterTale this time next week?" He scratched his head nervously as he stared you down. His eyes were shaking, but he remained firm in his ask.
How strange, what caused the sudden change in his demeanour? You hope you didn't say anything wrong, though Cross didn't seem upset.
You asked him where specifically, as you didn't care for going into the villages of other AUs. It was hard enough to blend into other universes, let alone OuterTale.
"The cliffs near the floating islands," Cross answered, twirling the glass in his hand. "I uh... Wanted to try out that camera Paps got me. Would you wear something nice for them?"
You blushed, and quite noticably. The face Cross made when he mentioned you wearing something nice was so adorable, as if he stared in admiration. Come to think of it, he always did that. The last time you wore something nice, he couldn't take his eyes off you.
It was one of the reasons why you loved him. Oftentimes you were called a simp amongst your peers due to your crush toward him. You loved anything and everything Cross did for you. Whether or not that was bringing you flowers, getting you food after a hard day at work, or just hugging you until you stopped crying... Everything about him captivated you. His style, his personality, his smile, his laugh... Oh gosh his laugh. If only you could somehow keep it on repeat, you would. It was music to your ears and made all the butterflies in your stomach fluster.
Your friends often said you craved him. They weren't wrong. You longed to be in his presence, for his eyes to meet yours, to hear his voice speak to you, for him to touch you-
"Y/N?" Cross leaned over the table and snapped his fingers in front of both of your eyes. When you came back to reality, he smiled softly. "You able to come?"
You told him you wouldn't miss it for the world, after apologizing for zoning out.
"Tch," he snickered, giving that smile that made your heart pound. "Alright, I'll walk you home and see you then."
You sighed happily as you remember the walk home and how it was full of dancing and signing. Cross taught you a few more steps to a dance you were learning with him before he said goodbye. Dancing was the only excuse you could find to be close to him other than hugging. You wondered if it was obvious to Cross that you liked him.
However, you couldn't figure out if the feelings were reciprocated. Cross didn't seem to have the same responses to things that you did. Although you were told many times by others that he was into you, you couldn't wrap your head around it. There's no way he could like you that way... Why would someone as great as he love a human like you?
This very reason has kept a tight seal on your lips. There were many times where you wished you told him, but the fear of ruining your friendship got in the way. What if he didn't reciprocate those feelings? Would all be lost? Surely it would be awkward. Though, you wouldn't know, as you any memory of your past relationships had faded when arriving in the multiverse.
"You came," a sigh of relief came from behind you.
You stood up and turned to face your best friend. He was... To put it simply, stunning. He wore a long black suit with a white X across his chest. He adjusted his tie with one hand and held your favorite flowers in the other. Your blush didn't help hide how grateful you were for his thoughtful gift. He was always good at remembering your favorites, rather than giving you whatever he could find. His eyes glowed softly, and he smiled wildly at you. "Wow." He breathed.
You had worn your favorite color dress that changed shades all the way to the bottom of your ankles. You thought it would be better to leaves the sleeves on your arms rather than your shoulders. Perhaps it would be better for photo taking as Cross had planned.
You thanked him for the flowers with a squeak before asking him where he would like you to stand.
"Oh we can worry about that later," he set the camera down on the rock as it flashed red. "For now, I wanted to practice our dance."
Your face was tomato red. Dancing with your crush in nice clothing under the starry cover of OuterTale? This was a dream come true. You nodded and adjusted your dress so it would flow smoothly.
Cross wasted no time as he came toward you and swooped your arms into his. Immediately, his feet began to pace. You figured out the rhythm as you danced along, following his lead. The song slowly started to play in your head as you moved along the cliff edge with him.
Cross's eyes were sinking into you. The more he looked at you, the more purple his face became. His grip around your waist became more snug... As if he was holding the most precious jewel in the world. His thumb traced your hand with the grace of a feather, and his eyes were drooped so perfectly.
You found it difficult to focus on the steps as your heart pounded from excitement. He was so close, so peaceful... So absolutely perfect. You knew you would treasure this moment forever, and nothing would ever compare to this.
Cross's pacing slowed, pulling you closer to him. You gasp as his hand that was holding yours traveled to your cheek and jawline. His breath became shaky, and it was hard to see his eyes against his purple blush. "Y/N... I... I love you..." His voice was barely above a whisper while his eyes were locked on your face.
What? He... Did he just say that? You would've called him on his bluff if you didn't see the hearts in his eyessockets.
"Everything about you drives me crazy for you... I adore you..." His face got closer with every breath, and his words got slower and slower. "You're so beautiful, and kind, and I..."
You were dreaming. You had to be. This was too good to be true. Cross loved you back?! Not only that, but he adored you?! Nah, you would wake up any moment now.
But that kiss proved you otherwise. There wasn't another word that escaped his mouth before he caught you up in a loving kiss, your body pressing up against his. It was long, gentle, and made both of your faces turn into bright colors.
He broke away after a few seconds, his breath shaky and his smile wide. When he saw you were panting, blushing, and gripping his chest, he kissed you again... And again... And again... Until you lost count of how many times he came back to your lips, begging for more.
Your feet were lifted off the ground many times. His hands tightened around your head and waist to press you closer to him. Your body shook with pure bliss. Your heart had stopped from utter shock and surprise, though, you knew it was still alive because of how flustered it was.
It ended too soon, as he sat you back down on the ground and rested his forehead against yours. "Sorry, I..." He sighed. "I got carried away... I didnt mean to-"
You told him to shush, letting him know that you enjoyed every moment of it. After you explained to him that you had liked him all this time, he was relieved and satisfied.
"I... Stars, you're beautiful... Everything about you... is amazing, and... I always want to be with you... Protect you... Love you..."
Cross continued to whisper all that he felt and all that he had to say as you two swayed under the stars. It was pure bliss, and you couldn't believe it was real. Though, Cross reassured you it was real through many kisses. He explained he had held back such affection for so long, he wanted to get it all out. You were too much of a blushing mess to give any affection back, though, he didn't seem to mind. Cross seemed perfectly happy with growing the blush on your own face. Since he had known you for so long, it was easy for him to find out what physical things you liked very quickly.
To this day you can't wrap your head around how lucky you were. Cross since then had provided, protected, and loved you like you never had, or as much as you could remember. You must have been the main character in a story, as it was the only explanation you could find to explain such a wonderful, disney-princess moment.
However, you decided that chance or not, you were the luckiest person in the whole multiverse, because you were in your lovers arms, and he loved you more than anyone else could.
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