Side bit because I'm Thinking , what other effects do you think aka Killer's soul slowly giving out on him would have on him
OKAY i know this is for other effects but im just gonna list of All the effects i can think of off the top of my head
definitely fatigue. it’s harder for him to leave his sleeping bag in the mornings and travel as long as usual and climb and jump debris like he’d have no problem doing before. cross probably starts carrying him around on his back more
similar thing but he definitely gets tired quicker and sleeps more. both he and cross keep waiting for the night he’ll lay down and stop moving entirely
coughing. and generally finding it harder to breath. there’s SO much shit in the air that his soul’s so very exposed to that’s gotta fuck with whatever respiratory situation he’s got going on. also plays into the fatigue and means he can’t keep moving for long intervals
maybe even nausea??? maybe not as prominent but it probably happens sometimes
this has definitely been mentioned already but visually his soul’s a lot dimmer and more unstable. it flickers more and wobbles almost constantly like a dying flame or lightbulb. maybe it even looks smaller. and it’s whirring and beating is quieter and slower. and it’s probably less expressive (doesn’t shift into a heart as often in situations where it would etc)
he feels colder. he’s already cold natured but it’s made worse by everything going on with him. and he shivers a lot too. gusts of wind are especially bad
probably more susceptible to sicknesses. even if they’re short term and not super serious they do happen more often. if he got something worse than a cold it’d probably kill him
also strong negative emotions like despair are almost painful (maybe not literally but it’s damn close) in some way. definitely doesn’t help, probably speeds things up. (haha lovelorn arc)
same kinda thing, physical injuries are made worse just by how weak a state he’s in
he probably has a harder time concentrating like on fights or whatever. it’s like he has a constant cold or fever y’know that feeling. brain fog
this is more of in the emotional sense but he definitely feels more defeated and hallow and devoid of hope. before he always had some kind of fire and hope and Desire for survival but now it’s like. whats the point. he still makes jokes and quips and tries to be Normal for both his and cross’s sake but as time goes on it’s more and more evident that it is very much not normal. it feels like he’ll just cave in on himself
also more of an emotional thing but i think he gets more clingy towards cross. because he, they both do, knows how bad things have gotten or are or are going to get and wants to be as close to him as possible. for safety. comfort. out of fear that when cross’s gone is when killer will finally dust and then that’ll be it. to savor any time he gets with him. for warmth
they both start going off on their own much less
all of this gradually and continuously gets worse as time passes and he doesn’t get better. like he’s decaying. it starts off with mildly concerning stuff like a dimmer soul and some coughing but becomes him laying curled up in his sleeping bag for days on end
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Announcement? Update? Screaming at the void? I don’t know what to call this right now, so if anyone is curious about what the hell I’ve been doing all this time read on...
So, I’ve been getting a few asks about my ongoing fics and whether I’m going to continue them because I haven’t posted a new chapter in 2+ years. Well, as everyone knows, Covid fucked everything up, and 2020 was just a horrendously shitty year on the whole to start with. I have been insanely lucky to avoid getting sick (helps I do not socialize outside of work whatsoever, but considering I work in dental and am literally in people’s mouths all day - yeah, really fucking lucky to have avoid illness). But, the external stress and anxiety the ongoing plague has caused in me has really messed with my ability to write or do anything.
But, as I announced at the end of last year, I’m back in school. I took two classes in the spring and got A’s in both, with such amazingly consistent feedback on my writing that it began to inspire me again.... Except right as I was regaining my confidence, more shit started happening in my personal life to blow a hole in my intentions.
I’ll put the details to that under a cut at the end so if people don’t want to read the shit that’s led to endless existential dread and a burdensome mid-life crisis, you can ignore that part. I’ll just get to the point here.
Despite all the shit that’s been weighing on me the last few months... years, really... I do know I absolutely cannot continue to work where I’m at. I need to get out of the medical field for the sake of my mental health, as well as physical health. But, I can’t just quit because I have bills to pay and I don’t have anything lined up to move on to. I genuinely want to work from home, focusing on what I love and would like to do for a living - writing. My whole plan of getting a Master’s in Library Science after completing my B.A. is still kind of there, but all the feedback I got and the excitement I’m feeling for my writing courses has really told me that writing is something I need to be doing, but I can’t make money off fanfic (copyright law’s a lot stricter with writing versus art).
I’m almost afraid to announce this because it’s probably way too early, but I am working on an original high fantasy romance story that I intend to publish. I’m only in the early planning/ outlining/ worldbuilding stage, but it’s something I really want to write. It’s a smaller scale than a high fantasy saga I’ve had rattling around in my head for years, but it came to me and seems more manageable as a first foray into self-publishing that might give me a base to then spring into the larger saga that’s gotten more solid in shape over the years.
My plan for this is to make a Patreon once I have a solid draft of the story written, then post two chapters a week as I go through my early editing process, and then publish it as an ebook once I’m satisfied - likely using whatever funds I manage to get from Patreon to pay for an outside editor to finalize the book.
But, as I said, this is all in the early planning and hopeful yearning stage of my idea to make a career out of writing. I am absolutely terrified that even speaking about it may jinx me just because of how this year has gone, but I am excited to see if I can do it (all while also taking three classes this fall, ahahahaha).
As to what this means for my fanfic - I don’t know. I still really want to finish Amber Curse, but it’s become so difficult for me to concentrate on my fics that I might not be able to go back to it. Or, I might use it as a way to take a break from my own original work, especially since I can get away with sporadic posting and still get really great and inspiring feedback from people. We’ll see. I know I hate the idea of disappointing anyone with an incomplete story, especially one that is so BIG. So, while that’s sort of in limbo right now, I haven’t forgotten about it.
I’ll try to be more active on here, too - give updates about my process when I can.
But, for those curious as to what I’ve been dealing with this year that’s really fucked with my head, the details are under the cut. Fair warning for those who don’t want to be dragged down, there are mentions of illness and sudden death in the family.
Edit: Realized the post is on the long side, so the cut isn’t working on the mobile platform - so everything after this is just depressing shit you don’t have to read if you don’t want to.
At the beginning of the year my aunt died. She was my dad’s little sister and while we hadn’t been in regular contact with that side of the family, it still took a huge hit on my mental health. To add to it, at that same time, my dad discovered he had a lesion in his throat that came back as lymphoma. Fortunately it was caught early enough and is a form of lymphoma that responds incredibly well to chemo, so after three bouts of chemo and a few weeks of radiation, there is no sign of lymphoma in his system. But my dad is the type to panic over everything (I get it from him), and believe he’s going to die when he only has a common cold, so hearing he has cancer literally a few weeks after his sister died... yeah, not great news.
I am an only child, and I live with my parents, so I had to go with my dad to as many appointments as my schedule would allow so that I could help him understand the prognosis, treatment outcomes, and side effects. My mom’s also been having trouble driving, so anything he needed a driver for fell on me. To add to it, I had to basically act as his therapist and constantly reassure him that he is not going to die. My father and I had a very tense relationship when I was younger, and while we are on better terms now, spending any time with him is stressful because I’m innately terrified of him, but to add to it, I have to remain calm and be the voice of reason and reassurance throughout all this. Even when in the middle of a panic attack, I have to do everything in my power to mask it to make sure I don’t add to whatever the fuck my dad is freaking out about. Add to this extreme burnout from a job that requires me to show compassion and empathy to complete strangers on a regular basis that I no longer really have because it’s all used up - yeah, this whole thing has beaten down my already poor mental health.
And then, right as we were nearing the end of my dad’s treatment - literally he had one more radiation treatment the next day - my mom had a stroke. Again, we were insanely fortunate we caught it as early as we did. She had no signs of paralysis or facial drooping, but was extremely confused with verbal aphasia (word salad) worsening by the minute. My dad and I rushed her to the ER, they got a clot-busting medication into her within two hours of symptoms appearing, and she was pretty much back to normal and transferred to an ICU bed by the next morning. But, again, I had to act as medical advisor from the moment my dad noticed my mom’s changed mental state - assessing her symptoms as a nurse would and making the split second decision to go to the ER, and then literally assisted the nurse in the ER who was assigned to watch over her while the medication did its thing. I am not a nurse for a reason, and being my mother’s caretaker reaffirmed that reason, but my dad was relegated to a corner to do his best to hide his compulsion to freak the fuck out while I just took over all the hands-on work to keep my mom calm and give the nurse an extra pair of hands when my mom needed moving.
All of this has just reaffirmed that life is too short and I am too young to be facing my parents’ inevitable mortality. Chances are they will live for at least another 10 years, but they will need me to take care of them more and more over that time. While I am very fortunate that they are both still mobile and independent, these last few months have kept me on edge waiting for the next emergency to crop up.
Writing is therapeutic for me, so being stuck in a cycle of not being able to write but wanting to write has only made all this worse. But, I am forcing myself to break that cycle. Even if all I’m writing are little blurbs of poetry for myself, it is still something to maintain a fraction of my sanity. Hopefully things will calm down now that my parents have gotten over these hurdles and I can have some time to focus on my work, but if I suddenly go MIA again, chances are something major happened with piss poor timing again.
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Chapters 27 and 28
Keeper of the Lost Cities - Shannon Messenger (October 2, 2012)
Was hoping to get this done by my Birthday, but unfortunately this book is much longer than I remember. The first book always has a lot of information, so hopefully I’ll be quicker at these when there’s more action that I can review and less facts/worldbuilding.
The thick fabric consisted of an amalgam of metals, made to dull telepathic abilities and preserver the integrity of the exam. But the second she concentrated she could feel Dex’s voice rushing through her mind like a blast of air, so it clearly didn’t work on here. (Ch. 27, p. 260)
I wonder why this is the case and why Sophie didn’t let anyone know, specifically Tiergan.
Tiergan was so amazed that the thinking cap had no effect on her, he gave an automatic 100 percent. (Ch. 27, p. 260)
Ok, nevermind!
“I skipped Level One.” [Keefe] (Ch. 27, p. 261)
Is photographic memory that beneficial? I feel like those with photographic memory should be taught things differently if they can process the classes so quickly.
“Will you be picking the secrets out of my brain, then?” [Lady Galvin] (Ch. 27, p. 262)
This is such a weird way to talk to your 12 year old student? I understand that she doesn’t like children (especially Sophie) but they still deserve respect. She’s giving Snape.
Ruckleberries were nasty, stinky little berries that brought impurities to the surface of a metal. They also made your skin wrinkle like an elderly human’s if any of the juice got on you - and you’d smell like feet all day- so most alchemists used other methods to purify metal. (Ch. 27, p. 263)
Foreshadowing! Nice to see some of it, Miss Messenger.
The next day everyone filled each other’s hat with presents and opened them while their parents met with their Mentors to find out their grades. (Ch. 27, p. 264)
This is so cute! Is this the equivalent of Christmas in the Lost Cities? Would love to know more about the history of this holiday and why it came to be.
Confetti and flowers covered the floor, and giant bubbles filled with prizes floated through the halls. (Ch. 28, p. 267)
The way I would be popping those bubbles like crazy!
A tiny part of her had been hoping she’d find Fitz at his locker, but all she found was a long line of Level Four girls, all of whom glared at her when she added her small, teal-wrapped package to his nearly full hat. The glaring turned even uglier when she added a bright green box to Keefe’s collection.
Girls. (Ch. 28, p. 267-8)
The obvious misogyny in this book is insane? We can’t even go five chapters without snide little comments like this degrading girls as boy obsessed. I know it gets better but...
The family resemblance was striking, though Keefe’s disheveled hairstyle and untucked skirt contrasted his dad’s slicked blond hair and pristine tunic. (Ch. 28, p. 269)
I’m sorry but this man is literally Lucious Malfoy. Down to the way he speaks of Sophie lol.
“See how disappointing your scores will be this time.” [Lord Cassius] (Ch. 28, p. 270)
I hate this man. Imagine saying this to Keefe, a kid that was literally so smart he was able to skip a whole entire grade.
“This coming from someone who looks like a giant lollipop. If your head gets any bigger, you’ll topple over.” [Sophie] (Ch. 28, p. 271)
Was not expecting Sophie to randomly give out this sick burn to Stina.
Sophie nudged his arm, pulled a packet to her satchel - the Disneyland watch she’d been wearing when she moved to the Lost Cities. (Ch. 28, p. 271)
Oh? This wasn’t in my head when I was picturing Sophie moving in to the Lost Cities. Disney’s gonna eat this up.
“Vice president of the Sophie Foster Fan Club.” [Keefe] (Ch. 28, p. 273)
Random, but this club that Keefe keeps mentioning is so funny to me for some reason because Keefe is so right, there is very much a Sophie Foster Fan Club.
“Your hat was overflowing, so it’s waiting in your locker.” [Keefe] (Ch. 28, p. 274)
This makes me even more sad for Dex who had an almost empty hat. I think a definite problem with this holiday is that it’s clearly going to show who is more well off and popular. Sophie is giving my vibes as being an “unpopular” girl but the fact that her hat was overflowing I’m assuming she has a lot more friends (or at least people who like her) than we think. Remembering the Sophie Foster Fan Club, it’s probably bigger than we think. Anyways, #JusticeforDex
Biana gave her a set of edible lip glosses, and Jensi gave her a speckled spider snapper - a plant that fed off spiders. Clearly he didn’t know how to shop for girls. (Ch. 28, p. 275)
Sophie, what are you talking about? This is so cool and useful? Let’s all show some respect to Jensi!
Marella’s boy craziness must be rubbing off on her. (Ch. 28, p. 277)
Folks, are we keeping track of this nonsense?
He was more interested in teasing her about Valin, or teasing Fitz about all the girls who gave him crush cuffs - wristbands embroidered with their names, hoping he’d wear them and show the whole school he liked them. (Ch. 28, p. 278)
This got me thinking - Is there a holiday similar to Valentine’s day in the Lost Cities? They seem to care a lot about matchmaking so it would make sense.
“Yeah, busy juggling two girlfriends,” Keefe interrupted.
Alvar grinned. “Three.” (Ch. 28, p. 279)
The way I was about to be excited that there is a poly character in the serious, but I have a feeling that not all the girls are aware that they all have the same boyfriend...
The curve of the swan’s neck matched the pattern of the fires that wrapped around San Diego. (Ch. 28, p. 281)
I feel like humans would be able to tell via satellite that the fires over San Diego were showing a large fire in the image of a swan FOR MONTHS on end.
Sorry for the late review, hopefully I can get a few more chapters done before Stellerlune comes out!
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has harry ever come before yn? and how did he react to it
warning: um this is straight up filth, sorry (not sorry)
CEO!H
-
“Baby, c’mon,” He huffs in frustration, his thumb slips once again because she’s just so wet for him.
“M’trying!” YN bites back, “You’re expecting me to come in two seconds all because you got yourself worked up by rubbing your dick on my tattoo.”
Harry can’t deny even after a few years of the ink being on his wife’s bum doesn’t make it any less hot to him.
It takes one more harsh pump of his hips before he’s groaning and coming, his fingers faltering on her bud once again.
YN is whining - these displeased, spoiled little noises that prickle the skin on the back of his neck and grit of his teeth.
“Y’sucha god damn brat,” Her husband spits out, not even enjoying his release because of his impatient, perfect wife.
“M’not,” YN retorts as she flips onto her back and lays down, not even disgusting her pout.
“Out of the hundreds and hundreds of times I’ve fucked you and made sure y’finished first - the one time y’dont you want to get all huffing and bent out of shape.”
YN squints at him, because he’s not wrong, she chooses to bite back with a bit of attitude, “Well you had some clumsy fingers tonight.”
Harry barks out a laugh, spreading her legs roughly, and muttering, “I’ll fuckin’ show clumsy fingers.”
Then continues on to make her come twice if his fingers along just because.
-
MLBrry
“Oh my god,” YN giggles loudly when Harry curses as he spills inside her - legitimately after only about three minutes of being in her.
“Shut up,” He whines, ego bruised a bit as he pulls out with a look of betrayal at his already softening cock, “Y’looked so good in m’jersey at the game tonight. Flauntin’ y’tits like tha’.”
YN smirks widely, turning around from where he had her bent over their bathroom counter, “I know, I saw how many times you had to ‘adjust’ yourself in your uniform.”
Harry hauls her up until her bum’s on the cold marble and her legs are spread to show him where she’s dripping from him.
“Can’t help it. It’s nearly impossible not to come the second I’m in you,” He pouts, it was the truth - usually he had amazing stamina but every once in a while his body was a traitor.
YN let’s out a quiet sigh when he tucks two fingers back inside her, twisting and curling in the way that make her toes crinkle.
“You amaze me. I’ve given you four babies and y’still as horny as ever,” YN giggles pleased and confident because of her husband’s constant want for her.
Harry pushes forward to lick into her warm, sweet mouth before he’s resting his forehead against hers and watching his fingers work into her perfect heat.
“Only horny f’you, mama. Course s’just for my wife, m’so fuckin’ in love with you. In love with your body, this beautiful thing has given us our babies - how could I not be obsessed?”
YN comes panting in his mouth and a smug smile on her face when he hardens back up against her thigh in the process.
—
Deaf!Harry
Harry’s lips are bright pink and swollen, his narrow hips pushed against the tiny counter in the frat bathroom as YN kneels in front of him.
“Baby, baby, want to fuck you. If you blow me I’ll come,” He signs in warning, attempting to coerce her into standing up but she doesn’t budge.
Her hands are quick on his belt and skinny jeans, letting his thick length rest towards his tummy as she leans forward to lick at the head.
He wasn’t joking, right as she suckles harshly on the head with her hand stroking the rest - he flexes and released with a loud loud moan.
“Didn’t know my mouth was that good,” YN gestures as she stands up with a teasing lift to her lips, thumbing a lose drop.
“You know when you grind on me it gets me going,” He accuses to justify his short span, “Don’t act like you don’t come in a second when I have my mouth on your clit and three fingers up in you.”
YN swallows harshly at the dirty talk, startling when someone bangs on the door, stating the need to use the toilet.
“I’m totally telling Niall you came in legit two minutes,” YN signs before swinging up the door and disappearing into the crowd - leaving behind her flabbergasted boyfriend.
—
Vamprry
“My leg is cramping, H,” YN complains noisily as he keeps her leg lifted a she fucks in from behind as they lay on the bed.
Harry is so so close.
His annoying little creature wasn’t going to find her end because of a god damn leg cramp.
“Bat, just let me - oh fuck,” Harry snarls loudly as he can’t control himself any longer, fucking harshly into her a few more time before he comes.
Ad soon as he’s lowering her leg, he’s met by her displeased, grumpy whimpers that make him want to bite her until she’s limp or kiss her sweetly - sometimes he can’t tell which.
He drops her leg, planning to finish her off but she pushes his hand away which has him baring his fangs and snarling fiercely at her.
“No, I’ll finish myself,” She grunts, rolling onto her back and propping up her legs, one hooked over Harry’s thigh.
Every time he tries to reach over to help as she rubs quickly and precisely at her bud with short puffs of air - she smacks him off which makes him hiss angrily as he watches on.
“You’re like a million years older and you can’t control yourself still?” YN teases breathlessly as she feels a ball of fire start to pool in her stomach.
Her grin gets wider when his eyes blacken and his lip curls completely back to reveal his glimmering white canines.
“Pest, you are not doing it correctly. Let me make you come,” Harry demands with agitation, his hands clenching to not just grab her.
“Shut up,” She snaps back, two fingers rubbing in languid circles that have her hips bucking - it really shouldn’t turn her on that her vamp boyfriend is threatening her with his fangs.
“I rarely ever come before you. Please little human, you are annoying me and I wish to make you come now,” Harry tries to use a more gentle tone.
YN finally gives in, letting him take over with his own fingers, two tucking inside and his thumb right on her nerves.
His fangs ascend back into in gums as he admires his squirmy mate who is restless until she tense and releases on his hand.
It’s only a matter of second before she is coaxing his fangs back out - because she loves to torment him, “Better luck next time champ.”
“Enough,” He growls at an ear-shattering volume before he’s biting at her mating mark to get her to submit.
Works everyday.
—
Influencer!H
Harry was getting himself overly worked up, as soon as YN pressed record for a little something that she could watch when she had to leave tour for two weeks.
“Honey bee, c’mon,” Harry rasps, voice as deep as it goes as he sits in the armchair in their hotel room - legs spread and feet planted on the floor.
“Hold on, just want a shot of this,” She replies, he was so fucking hot - couldn’t grasp that this man was her’s sometimes.
He had a firm, lazy grip on his cock - thumb circling his extremely sensitive tip every so often which made him shutter.
“Slower, tease yourself,” YN murmurs as she films him, watching raptly as he slows down his strokes but fucks up into his hand.
“Want t’be in you, bee,” Harry tells his with a wrinkle between his eyebrows as he twitches in his palm.
“Then listen to me,” She orders in a voice she rarely uses - a authorative voice that has Harry moaning as he squeezes himself.
“M’listenin’, I promise.”
“Stop,” YN replies, eyes following when he releases his grip and it sways before resting on his taut belly - pink and swollen.
She props the camera on the desk, shimmying down her underwear, and straddling him on the chair - letting herself sink down.
“Oh fuck - baby, m’gonna - bloody hell,” He moans as he comes within seconds, hand squeeze her plush hips.
His forehead is sweaty, lips puffy, and YN is so pleased with him, whispering that he’s so fucking good for her, she can’t wait to watch it when she’s away.
-
Cheating!H
“Y’takin’ it so good, darlin’,” Harry grunts out, teeth gritted and hand grasping her jaw to keep her mouth against his.
YN was in a mood tonight.
“C’mon, we don’t have much time before Anna comes looking, H,” YN goads coyly, her plush hips digging into the counter where her bum is pressed against.
“Hush up, pup,” Harry scolds, biting at her swollen bottom lip before hiking her up a bit more to hit her spot right on.
“She’s gonna be so bummed, y’can’t get it up for her tonight after fucking me,” YN doesn’t stop with the filth.
“Y’act like I have ever fucked ‘er. I’ve only been givin’ it t’you for the past ten years,” He mutters, tongue licking into her mouth to shut her up.
When someone knocks on the door, they don’t stop, Harry determined as he pounds into her with hard, meaningful strokes.
“Harry, are you in there? Are you feeling alright?” Anna asks from the other side of the door - it was super loud because of the party.
He comes right then on the spot.
“You’re sick,” YN giggles, pleased as he pumps in a few more times to fill her up - claiming her as he always did.
—
Gang!H
It started with the god damn fucking teasing.
Rival gang members, the police, literally nobody gets under his skin - just his bloody nuisance of a wife and she took full advantage.
She got in these moods were she would fuck with him, tease him, wind him up until he had her pinned down with a sore arse.
He loved her so fucking much.
It started at the bar, she had leaned over with way too much cleavage on display as she fluttered her eyes to get men to buy her a drink.
Harry who was currently in the middle of a lucrative deal couldn’t concentrate as a man offered to buy her a glass of wine.
He didn’t care who saw, he excused himself and pushed her harshly into the bar until it would bruise her hips.
“Cut it the fuck out now, m’busy,” He hisses menacingly in her ear, ignoring the men who were staring wide eyes at the exchange.
Her hand comes back to subtly palm at his crotch before humming, “All these nice men are willing to pay attention to me.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Harry rumbles, gripping her wrist and moving it away from his groin with force.
“Whoa, man! You can’t talk to a lady like that!” A brunette gentleman squawks after watching the interaction.
Harry steps back, a sly smile rising the corner of his lips, and he purposefully lifts his shirt just a bit to flash a shining gold desert eagle tucked in his waistband.
The man’s eyes widen in horror which makes Harry chuckle darkly, “Don’t tell me how to treat m’fuckin’ brat of a wife, she fuckin’ loves it anyways.”
With that, Harry storms back to continue his meeting and YN grins, a little flushed as she sips on a glass of water - aroused beyond belief.
After a bit, YN disappears down the hallway to the restroom, and sends Harry a text that has him excusing herself.
Please help me. Woman’s bathroom, hurry.
Harry’s reaching back for his gun, not hesitation as he rushes down the hallway - heart pounding at the thought of his love in trouble.
He slams open the single stall bathroom, gun drawn but all he sees is his beautiful wife, on her knees with lust obvious in her body language.
“Y’tha’ fuckin’ desperate?” Harry scoffs, locking the door and placing his gun on the counter - already reaching for his belt and zipper.
“Please sir.”
It sends a harsh, electric zip down his spine as he hisses when his wet tip hits the cold air, he bends down first - forces her mouth open and spits.
But his words are soft and loving after, “Brat, love you s’much. Y’the love of m’life.”
Her eyes twinkle but she can’t speak because he’s guiding himself in her mouth with a long push that has her breathing heavily through her nose.
Harry surprises himself when he ends up spilling right after she pulls off for a breath and jerks him, rasping out, “I love living life with you.”
Yeah he comes at words and he isn’t fucking ashamed.
It has him pushing her up against the wall and licking her out until she’s teary from sensitivity and legs quivering pathetically.
-
👁👄👁
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❝ the morning after ❞
ft : suna rintarō, sakusa kiyoomi, miya atsumu, kozume kenma, asahi azumane
warnings : sfw but suggestive - implied sex [night before]
SUNA RINTARŌ
-> sleeps in with you
-> neither of you are in a rush to get up and you’re both tired
-> he’s lazy but he has stamina and that’s evident from last night
-> around 11:30AM he’ll grunt at you signalling he’s awake
-> “oi, you awake?”
-> his voice is heavy with sleep and his hands are already looking for your body
-> eventually you’ll stir awake and find your bodies been shifted so you’re back in his arms
-> suna is naturally warm so his body heat is transferring onto you keeping you satisfied in his arms
-> “morning rin” you’ll mumble tiredly back at him
-> the second he hears your voice he’s got a lazy grin painted across his face
-> “wanna get up in a minute?” he’ll ask
-> what he means is he wants breakfast
-> but he’ll be the one cooking so don’t worry
-> he’ll slip his large t-shirt over you to keep you covered and carry you on his back downstairs before sitting you on the kitchen counter
-> lucky you, you get a nice view of his bare back whist he cooks
-> he’ll still be yawning and stretching whist he’s by the cooker but then he hisses slightly
-> why?
-> because you left some angry marks on his back last night >:(
-> “i’ll take care of those after breakfast”
-> your reassurance is cute because he doesn’t actually need treatment but the fact you’re willing to take care of him is precious to him
-> “you gonna take care of me yeah?”
-> pretty side glancing at you in his shirt
-> he wants to tease you, he really does
-> but he just can’t stop himself from losing himself in the sight of you sat on the kitchen counter with one of his shirts covering you while you tiredly rub your eyes
-> he’s so whipped
-> too whipped in fact because he loses concentration of everything else
-> “rin, you’ve seen me with and without this shirt many times now focus”
-> “nah, i like the view”
-> “and i like my eggs preferably not burnt.”
-> he looks down at the pan, and you’re right
-> “worth it”
SAKUSA KIYOOMI
-> he’s up early no matter what his late night activities were
-> and he would be up on his morning run right now but there’s something stopping him
-> you cutely curled up beside him in bed
-> you’re not even awake and yet you still have control over him
-> he just sighs and hopes you wake up soon so you can both shower together
-> although he loves making a mess with you, he loves cleaning it up better
-> he’s literally itching for a shower by the time you stir awake
-> see, he actually waits for you to wake up because he respects he wore you out last night
-> “good morning princex, shower?”
-> he’s already scooping you up from the bed before you even have a chance to respond
-> yourself and sakusa have a very spacious shower room
-> sakusa isn’t a fan of those tight little single showers so he made sure to purchase an apartment with nothing but the most luxurious bathroom layout and facilities
-> please, you even have one of those tile benches installed in the shower
-> and this is perfect because sakusa loves washing your hair for you
-> his fingers are perfect in your hair as he works in the products you use and throughly washes it after
-> he’s very gentle and after washing you down you do the same for him
-> pressing wet kisses along your shoulder blade and collarbone, he loves the feeling of your hands lathering soap across his body
-> he would argue that the activities the morning after were more enjoyable than the activities in the bedroom
-> but they’re both important to him in different ways
-> the soft mutters of “i love you” and “thank you” are exchanged between the two of you as he handled you gently
-> will carefully lead you out the bathroom and sit you down by the big vanity in your room before pulling out a hair dryer
-> the two of you take self care importantly and make sure to take care elf one another accordingly
-> mornings after with sakusa are slow but very intimate
MIYA ATSUMU
-> an early riser but will sleep in the next morning
-> he honestly just wants you close to him for as long as possible
-> he’ll joke about going for a morning round but really he just wants you cuddled up close to him
-> slow kisses always occur when it comes to mornings with him
-> he doesn’t care that it’s mid winter and the two of you are still naked
-> he’ll get his morning kisses one way or another so as soon as he stirs awake he’s trapped you in his arms so you can’t leave him
-> presses kisses along your shoulders and back as he waits for you to wake up
-> honestly, he’s just in love with you all over again
-> who allowed his s/o to be so perfect even first thing in the morning :(
-> “morning tsumu” makes him perk up everytime
-> “mornin’ doll”
-> doesn’t care how awake you are, the fact you’re speaking tells him you’re awake enough for a slow make out sesh before getting up
-> these types of kisses arent like the ones from the night before
-> they’re equally as special but they’re different
-> these kisses are slow and meaningful, he’s making sure you’re aware of how gentle he really can treat you
-> they’re a reminder that he does think you’re special and he does care and want to keep you safe
-> his love language is physical affection and he tells you he loves you through the long and slow kisses he forces you to crave more of
-> after a while you will tell him it’s time to get up though
-> he’ll whine but oblige and get up and out of the covers revealing a very naked atsumu
-> “like what ya see? we can always go for another round if ya-”
-> “get in the shower and i’ll see you downstairs for breakfast in 10.”
-> “yes angel :,)”
KOZUME KENMA
-> waking up at the same time as kenma is a blessing and a curse
-> he loves that he gets to wake up and see you at the same time you see him
-> but he’s also not prepared to be met with his naked s/o first thing in the morning
-> he won’t even look you in the eye
-> “kenma, are you okay?”
-> “you’re um naked”
-> “yes?”
-> “aren’t you cold or something maybe you should put something on”
-> “but just a few hours ago you were eating m-”
-> “JUST PUT SOMETHING ON!”
-> he’s so embarrassed but it’s only because you both know the effect you have over him
-> you just laugh and call him a baby
-> but maybe you should’ve just stayed naked because he’s even more flustered at the sight of you in his sweater
-> your naked body is under that :0
-> he wears that sweater when he streams too :0
-> scandalous >:)
-> “take it off.”
-> “but you just said t-”
-> “kitten please, you’re doing it on purpose”
-> he’s so flustered and it’s all your fault
-> he’s so worried he looks weird in front of you but honestly it’s cute seeing him so vulnerable
-> you just pull him back down under the covers to sleep for a little longer
-> and who is he is deny when you’re clinging to him in his sweater like that
-> looking down at your precious face too
-> how is he ever meant to say no to you
-> and honestly sleep sounds so desirable right now
-> maybe when he wakes up he’d be more prepared for the sight of you in his clothes
-> he’s just so in love with you and he loves and hates that you have this effect over him
-> but he’s glad that it’s you that has this effect on you and only you
ASAHI AZUMANE
-> you are not getting up early in the morning
-> actually, you’re not getting up at all because you ache
-> and it’s a pain because you wake up before him
-> so you’re just kinda sat there waiting for him to wake up
-> when he does wake up he’s met with a small smirk painted across your face
-> “morning?”
-> “i cant move”
-> “please don’t say it like that!”
-> he is so apologetic
-> he didn’t mean to hurt you and besides you were technically asking for it :(
-> but he will pamper you because he feels horrible
-> even if you tell him it’s okay he won’t listen and he will treat you the way he feels you should be
-> he’ll keep you in bed and go make you breakfast
-> any mail is brought up for you to read in bed
-> any water or coffee you require he will bring
-> “baby i’m not sick”
-> “but you can’t move and it’s my fault”
-> please dhsbdjebd
-> he will be like this for most of the day until you insist you feel better
-> constant apologises are given to you throughout the day despite the fact you promise you’re okay
-> he feels so bad oh :(
-> reassure him enough and he’ll start to believe you though
-> also reassure him it’s not his fault because he will be mentally taking note for the next time you guys ya know >:)
-> “why do you ask for it if you know it hurts the next morning”
-> and he has a point
-> “because it’s worth it”
-> that’s always your argument
-> and besides if that’s why you want from him at the time he won’t deprive you
-> you just have to promise to let him take care of you the next morning that’s all
general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @dear-kozume @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @dearestmegumi @kuxredere @warakou @iss6s @lovinnoya @sophiashortcake @wompwomphq @waitforitillwritemywayout @webworld @brokeasshoee @sunasbabie @rowley-with-ackerman @mjoork
ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE
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What if
Summary: what if dick killed tim without asking because someone else had already tried anc Tim said no?
Warning: blood, hint of seduction
Tim drake x Conner kent
“Conner?” Tim asked, walking down the steps. He could see Conner bent over something on the ground behind the manor in a dark corner. “Conner?” He called out again and the hair rose on the back of Tim’s neck.
Conner turned quickly and Tim stumbled back on the steps. Conner’s eyes were blazing and blood dropped down his lips. He was beautiful and terrifying in a way Tim had never seen before.
“Timmy,” Conner said with a grin. Sharp white fangs sparkled in the night.
“What happened,” Tim asked, looking at the clearly dead deer behind Conner.
“Hungry. Are you hungry,” Conner asked, standing up. Tim took steps back up the steps as Conner grew nearer. But Conner’s steps had always been large and he was practically leaping across the lawn and before Tim could get to the back door, the back door with security locks and a convenient panic button, Conner was beside him.
Tim could feel his heart practically beating out of his chest. Conner was a- was a vampire. A kryptonian vampire. And Tim didn’t even have a panic button at the moment much less weapons.
“Tim, are you hungry?” Conner asked.
“Not really. I’m fine. I ate earlier, you know? Umm I need to grab some-“ Tim said before turning to go.
“Timmy, I’m not that stupid,” Conner replied, grabbing one wrist and Tim’s waist. He yanked the smaller man close. Tim tried to struggle but Conner didn’t budge at all.
“What are you gonna do?” Tim asked, willing his panic to disappear.
“Hmm. Do you know that I can hear the sound of your blood? The swishing sounds like a low flute melody. I could hear your blood before but it didn’t sound so pretty,” Conner mused as he brushed Tim’s black hair from his collar and tucked it behind his ear. “I can practically see your veins,” he added while staring at Tim’s carotid artery.
“Who turned you?” Tim asked while his heart pounded.
“I can’t really tell you. It was the vampire king. I was told to recruit you,” Conner said running his thumb along the line of the artery. Tim tried to pull away but couldn’t. His body was on fire. He was in love with Conner and to finally be held by the man had his head spinning. Of course it could be that he was about to die by being vampire chow too.
“What if I say no?” Tim asked.
“He would be mad at me. I would be sad,” Conner said while bending closer to Tim’s neck. He licked at the skin and tasted salty sweat and could feel the slight pulse of blood beneath. “You would need to die.”
“You would kill me,” Tim asked and he couldn’t contain the rise in pitch to his voice.
“No, no baby boy. I couldn’t kill you,” he muttered while kissing Tim’s throat. He was so contained. His fangs never touched Tim’s soft flesh. “The king would. I want you with me forever. This way you can. You can’t get hurt. You won’t get sick. You can’t die,” Conner said.
His arms held Tim close but his hands grazed along Tim’s back and shoulders and down to cup his ass which earned Conner a soft inhale of surprise from Tim. Tim had trouble concentrating. His body was betraying his attraction to Conner.
“I can’t,” Tim gasped out with all his will as Conner massaged the flesh of his ass while nipping at his collarbone ever so gently.
“Not even by me? I’ll be so gentle. You won’t feel any pain. I can make you feel good as you go,” Conner muttered as one hand moved under Tim’s shirt to run hot marks up his skin. “I’ll make you feel so good.”
Tim closed his eyes to compose himself. He had literally imagined Conner seducing him so many times and if it wasn’t for the whole vampire thing, Tim would let Conner do whatever he wanted to him. Conner’s hand ran up to play with his nipple and Tim almost folded right there. But he felt his very soul was on the line.
“No!” He yelped and pushed himself back from Conner as best he could. It barely pulled the other man’s lips from his skin but the message was clear. Tim was not going to say yes.
“That’s it? You’ll never change your mind,” Conner asked sadly. He hadn’t let Tim go yet. He pulled Tim close for a mind melting kiss that had a hint of bloody iron taste. “Then I will miss you for eternity.”
“I’m sorry,” Tim said barely above a whisper.
Conner kissed his forehead and both cheeks before giving Tim the softest kiss. “I’m sorry,” Conner replied. He pulled away and was gone into the darkness before Tim could move. Tim stumbled in the steps before catching himself.
He stood staring in the darkness before running back inside. His heart clenched at his choice. Conner was one of them.
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Bully!Dabi laughing and making fun about a school girl big tiddies😳 it's as if the buttons on your uniform blouse are going to explode at any moment, and Dabi love make you feel bad about it
𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐈
“baby, can you meet me tonight in detention?”
MDNI
tw: non-con (yeah ik crazy right? i’m taking that out of my rules so feel free to request now.) , bullying, third year aged, mean!dabi, creep!dabi?, boobjob, cumplay, degradation, raw sex and public sex
A/N: hi hiii, this is a lovely request that I literally started writing as soon as I got it. Thank you nonnie for sending this in and as always enjoy!
You tried to keep them hidden whenever you saw him walking through the halls with his asshole entourage. But oversized sweaters, hoodies and cardigans never did the trick. Dabi always ended up seeing them, practically bursting through your school blouse after an administrator would yell at you to get into proper uniform. He was ruthless, grabbing your shirt and popping it open by the buttons to expose your large breasts. He’d laugh at you as you go to cover yourself up with the remnants of your blouse, poking and prodding at the exposed skin of your breasts. He’d pinch your cheeks as you become flustered, smirking and leaning in close to you.
“What? They were gonna come out anyways. Stupid tits were practically opening your shirt for you. Thought I’d give ‘em a hand.” He mocked, squeezing your breasts as he pinned you to a nearby locker. You snatch away from him and run away to the bathroom to fix your blouse, tears stinging in your eyes from the embarrassment of it all. The rest of your day was full of shame as everyone stared at your ripped blouse, administration granting you detention for violating dress code for the second time today.
At the end of the day, you stay behind in class, watching as everyone chats their way out the classroom doors to return home for the evening. All the other students who were to stay for detention come trudging inside; Dabi included to your displeasure. You shuffle in your seat out of discomfort, pulling your sweater down further and holding it in between stern fists as if it were to fly up at any second to reveal your breasts to the whole class. Dabi winks at you after sitting directly across from you, softly mooing at you to insinuate that you were a cow.
“I see they made you cover up those udders, fat tits. What were you thinking walking around with your tits hanging out? This is a school you know.” He says to you at a low tone of voice, talking not allowed in detention. You try and ignore him, scribbling on your notebook as you try and concentrate on your homework. Dabi sits slouched in his seat, writing something on a piece of paper and balling it up to throw it at your head. You glare over at him, the paper ball falling onto your desk in front of you. You open it and see that it’s a note.
“Meet me on the roof, fat tits.” it read, hand-writing just as childish as he is. You roll your eyes and crumple up the note, standing to go to throw it in the trash. Dabi smirks, sitting up in his seat to raise his hand.
“Yo, teach. I gotta piss. Can I use the bathroom?” He asks, chuckling to himself when the administrator grants him another two weeks detention for his foul language.
“Ask correctly or ‘piss’ on yourself, Mr. Todoroki.” He spits, returning to his book. Dabi sighs, rolling his eyes before caving in.
“Fine. May I please use the restroom, sir?” He asks once more, sarcasm dripping from his tone. He stands once he has permission, leaning over to whisper in your ear.
“I’ll be waiting, utters." He taunts, poking your chest before walking out of the room. You sit for a while, stirring in confusion. Do you go outside to see what he wants or do you stay seated and let him wait for nothing. You sigh and raise your hand, politely asking to use the restroom too. The administrator, uninterested at this point waves you away and returns to his book. You shuffle out of the room and walk upstairs to the roof of the school where Dabi stood by the metal fences barricading the ledge.
"Ah. So nice of you to meet with me, fat tits." Dabi smirks, pulling you up to him by the arm. You groan, shuddering at his touch in disgust.
"What do you want, Touya?" You ask, folding your arms over your chest unconsciously; a defense mechanism you've picked up dealing with him over the years.
"Haven't you heard the saying? A guy who picks on you also has a crush on you." Dabi hints, pulling your arms away from your chest, lifting your sweater up to expose your pretty bra. You shriek, trying to cover yourself up again only for your hands to be pinned above your head against the wall.
“So your excuse for treating me like shit is because you’ve got some sick crush on me?” You spat, yet unable to be completely furious as his lips meet yours in a hot and sticky kiss you can’t seem to shake. His tongue slips into your mouth to travel around inside, pulling away with a single string of spit as you pant. You hated him but, fuck, why did he have to be such a good kisser?
“You’ve always been my favorite little toy. Wanna know why?” He asks, leaning in to kiss and lick the skin of your neck. You stifle a moan, not giving him the satisfaction of knowing he’s turning you on.
“Why?” You choke, cheeks burning as his cold hands travel up the sides of your frame.
“These.” He answers, his hands pulling your breasts out of the cups of your bra, hissing at the sight of your pretty nipples. He takes one in his mouth, smirking against your skin when you start to moan helplessly. Your thighs press together as your panties start to soak with slick, Dabi noticing his effect on you quickly.
“P-Please stop..” You whisper desperately, looking into Dabi’s crystal blue eyes with a mixture of lust and uncertainty. He grins, knowing deep down you want him too, whether you said it words or not. His hands travel up your thighs and between your legs, forcing them open to prod his fingers at the growing wet spot on your panties.
“Heh.. I don’t think you want me to stop, do you? God, look how sloppy you are already.” He retorts, yanking your panties down and hiking up your skirt to further expose you. He reaches down to unbutton and unzip his own pants to let his length spring free, your eyes locking onto his bright red head as it leaked with pre-cum.
“Help me out with this, will ya, doll?” He asks, hands caressing your face as you lead you onto the concrete ground. As you sat on your knees, your hands wiping away a stray tear that streams down your cheek. You pull out your breasts a bit further, taking Dabi’s cock in between them and stroking it slowly beneath your cleavage. Dabi sighs out, his head handing back as he ruts his hips upward to match your pace.
“Fuck, just like that. If only you could see how slutty you look.” Dabi groans, voice slightly hoarse as you get him off with your breasts. You groan when you feel his cock start to throb against your skin, half of you disgusted and the rest of you turned on beyond belief as you watch him writhe in pleasure from the very breasts he teased and made fun of so harshly.
“Fuck, stand up.” Dabi demands, practically yanking you up on your feet by your arm and pinning you against the metal fence behind you. Not caring enough to prep you before, he pushes himself inside your weeping pussy; starting his thrusts at a brutal pace. You cry out, your moans echoing through the vast space of the empty roof of the school. Dabi’s hand comes up to cover your mouth as his hips moved faster, wet slapping causing him to groan.
“Ya like that, huh slut? Like being stuffed full at school don’t you?” Dabi asks, expecting an answer out of you after he uncovers your drooling and mewling mouth,“You’re mine. Say it. Tell me you’re mine.”
“”M yours, Touya!” You gasp, feeling the delicious head of his cock brush against your favorite spot with reckless abandon as it blurs your reasoning. You feel your slick spill down your thighs as he ruts into you from behind, his balls slapping up against your swollen clit only adding to the sinful pleasure you were feeling. You almost can’t believe you’re being fucked by your bully on the roof as your hands cling to the metal barb-wired fence you were pinned against, feeling Dabi’s hands reach up and grab your breasts from behind to pull you back onto his cock with fervor. Animalistic growls leave his lips as he pinches and teases your nipples, huffing obscenities into your ear.
“That’s right you fucking whore, take my cock like a good little slut.” He growls as he uses your pussy like he owns you, his cock throbbing inside you as he threatens to cum inside you, “Gonna make you mine forever, yeah? Sound good, slut?” You shake your head no, your body language telling a different tale as you feel your legs get so weak you can hardly stand on your own as Dabi holds you up by your neck.
His hand squeezes around your throat as he cums thick inside you, your gooey cunt fluttering around his cock as you follow shortly behind him. You pant and sob as you come down from your high, Dabi continuing to use your pussy until every drop of his cum is deep inside you; even going the extra mile to scoop up whatever remnants of his cum that leaked from you with his fingers and shoving them into your mouth with a satisfied groan.
“Now, that wasn’t so bad was it?” Dabi smirks, taking your panties from the ground and handing them to you with a smug look in his eye. You take them and slide them up over your legs and put them back on with a sniffle, ashamed of what you’ve done with him yet strangely satisfied as your cunt still clenches and throbs around nothing after the fact. Confusion stirs within your mind, your thighs trembling as you sat on the bench and watched Dabi walk down the stairs once more.
After you wait for Dabi to walk back downstairs to the detention room, you follow behind shortly after, folding your legs as you feel Dabi’s cum start to spill out and onto your panties. He smirks over at you, leaning back into his seat as he passes another note to you.
“Let’s do that again tomorrow, fat tits. You’re fun ;)”
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━ submissives and overstimulation
CHARACTERS: bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto, midoriya izuku, and kirishima eijirou
GENRE: smut
TAGS: overstimulation (male receiving), slight bdsm, oral, penetration, pegging, submissive males
AUTHOR’S NOTE: my first bnha fic please-! i missed bnha so i rewatched a couple of eps of s4 and i got an idea-- a sinful one anyway-
━ bakugou ♡
surprisingly submissive. you both know he can throw you off him if he wants to but bakugou lives for the dominance that oozes out of you.
a kinky piece of shit
in the moment, he has absolutely no filter and is a fucking brat about it, hips jerking and moans loud as fuck that after you two finish, his voice is all scratchy and raw.
but when you two are finished, he will get all embarrassed and angry if you comment about it like he wasn’t the one humping you like a dog.
overstimulating katsuki is always so fun!
bakugou growls whenever you two do something sexual but after a bit, it slowly turns into broken whimpers and you take pride on that.
his voice is just so fucking heavenly, his dick heavy in your mouth, and he taste absolutely delicious.
one of the reasons you love giving him head is his cum. his cum just taste so amazing. there’s a hint of sweetness to it that gets you hooked and keeps you wanting more.
so when it’s the 3rd time he came in your mouth, his voice is all raspy and raw and his body jerking nonstop but did you stop? nope.
he’s too fun to tease to stop~
“f-fuck, (y/n)! don’t... s-stop--!” bakugou gasping through his 3rd orgasm for the night, body all sweaty and sensitive, as he felt you swirling your tongue around his dick’s sensitive head.
you let of his cock for a moment, a lewd pop echoing in the room along with bakugou’s heavy pants. you smirked up at him, your hand encasing around his spent cock and rubbed him softly. it gained you a broken groan and a full on shudder, hips not knowing whether to lean away from your touch or thrust into your hand.
“do you really want to stop, katsuki?” you asked, taking the reddening head of his dick into your mouth and licking around it gently but even that was too much for bakugou
“j-just-- let me breathe a second... geez, woman--” he groaned out and sighed in relief when he felt you stop though you didn’t remove him from your mouth. bakugou closed his eyes, breathing heavily and trying to calm his rapid heart. but then he felt a harsh suck making his eyes snap open in surprise and sensitivity and looked down at you with wide blown red eyes.
“s-shit” his eyes rolled back to his head when you started taking more of him, your pace getting faster with each moment.
guess he just has to cum again, not that he’s really complaining.
━ todoroki ♡
todoroki is a brat. thank you for coming to my tedtalk. but seriously though, he really is. he likes getting on your nerves and testing you and your patience as he tries out different things to get you to punish him. oomf--
he likes seeing you angry and getting punishments. his favorite is over-stimulation and orgasm denial, either is fine but over-stimulation has a special place in his heart~
he is a masochist. periodt.
you don’t really like hurting him or call him degrading names cus you just wanna love him and kiss every inch of his body but shouto has different plans from you.
and as time pass, you kinda got used to it but never really full on be dominant and sadistic on him.
so when you snapped one day, it lowkey scared him but damn, the punishment was amazing. 100000/10 todoroki will repeat again.
ngl though, shouto loves your aftercare more than any kinky shit you two tried. even if his masochistic side just wants you to leave him aching and covered with cum and sweat as he feels so worthless like a used sex doll, your aftercare was everything.
it grew on you too, seeing him all bruised up and messy with cum and all sort of fluids raised a sick obsession in you.
just imagining the big powerful pro-hero tied up in your bed and letting you do anything to him was making you horny.
bratty masochist! todoroki is one hell of a ride. literally.
ragged breaths escaped you as you stared down at the male beneath you. todoroki moaning at the pleasure, his hips trying to match yours but it was a little difficult with all the restrains you have on him. the burning ache on his wrists and arms being tied to the bedpost for who knows how long as the build up for his 4th orgasm made him dizzy.
you bounced on his lap, feeling his large cock twitching inside you as it threatened to fill you up once again with his thick cum. over the haze of pleasure, you continued to watch your boyfriend get lost in the pleasure with his mouth open as a thin line of spit trailed down to his chin.
growling when you felt him cum again as you ride him through his 4th orgasm, letting your hands fall down to his bruised chest and scratched him, leaving angry red lines on his marked up torso.
todoroki groaned at the pain, hips frantically thrusting up to you and letting the overwhelming pleasure flood his entire body. broken moans and curses escaped the man when your thrust didn’t faltered even after his orgasm.
“if you think we’re finish here then you’re absolutely wrong, you fucking whore. we’re only gonna stop if you make me cum, got that. you’re nothing more than a useless fuck toy.” you spat out, gripping his chin to make him look at you. todoroki’s half-lidded and fucked out eyes stared at you, letting out moans in between words.
“yes-... u-use me more, m-mistress--”
━ midoriya ♡
this boy is one whiny mofo-- goodluck
midoriya may seem innocent but do not be fooled, he’s a sinful one. he may act all cute and stuff like that but when you two are alone, he will jump your bones like it’s no one’s business.
he completely trusts you so you two try all sorts of kinks even if the other is unsure. it’s not gonna hurt to try.
one kink he never knew he’ll have is pegging and you’re damn good at it. midoriya just can’t believe how well you just swirl your hips around making the dildo hit every spot in his walls that makes him see stars.
he’s really not afraid to be vocal and try all sort of things so sex is verryyy interesting.
everytime you fuck midoriya into oblivion with a strap on, expect him to cum multiple times until he can’t anymore. he’s super sensitive too so yeah.
midoriya cries when he’s sensitive but goddamn he looks so pretty like that.
tears spilling down his freckled cheeks, his lips swollen, and his muscles contracting from the immense pleasure you keep giving him.
he’s a greedy man though, even if he came multiple times he still gets soooo needy. loving the pain over-stimulation comes with.
you love seeing the number one hero putty in your hands~
sounds of skin slapping and midoriya’s loud moans filled the room, your tiring hips started to get slower making the man beneath you whine at the decreasing pleasure. you clicked your tongue at that, stopping completely and leaned closer to midoriya, your chest pressed against his strong back while he heave heavy breaths.
“s-sweets.. please m-move” he whined, grinding his ass to your strap-on and arched his back as he tried to get you to continue while he leaned against the pillow next to his head. his cock hanging between his thick thighs, cum spilling down his skin and to the blankets beneath him. he was still hard like he just didn’t cum 3 times already.
you bit the broken skin on his neck as midoriya moaned at your sharp teeth sinking into his skin and arched his back even more, grasping the blankets.
“good boys should take what they are given. no asking for more or less.” you said, hands moving to his chest as you thumb his nipples making him jerk his hips back and a hoarse moan escaping him.
you started to move your hips again while one of your hands went to his thick cock, pumping him with the same pace as your thrusts, and midoriya’s eyes rolled back to his head, loud broken moans escaping him.
you leaned away and pushed his head against the pillows, muffling his screams as you quicken your thrust. the strap-on hitting his prostate head on.
“let’s see how many times you can cum before you pass out, izu~”
━ kirishima ♡
red riot is a switch but leaning more into the dom side but this sweet boy loves getting praises and lives to please you. he will do everything in his power to make you satisfied and know that you are contented.
even when subbing, there’s still a hint of dominance to him. but! if you overstimulate him, his mind just melts and all thoughts and rationality flies out the window.
his reactions are also so fucking yummy~ teeth gritting together, sharp inhales, eyebrows furrowed in concentration and pleasure, eyes rolling to the back of his head, and hands gripping the covers of your bed as his quirk threatening to activate and just tear through the cloth.
i said it once and i’ll say it again, kirishima lives for praises.
so please praise him.
he’s also soooo sensitive. because when he was a teenage, he barely touched himself with how hectic UA was but when he finally had time and you came along, his libido just skyrocketed!
at first, he cums way to early but do not fret, kiri will never never leave you unsatisfied.
his oral techniques are top tier. you can’t change my mind.
kirishima also is pretty quiet with just loud grunts and groans but when he already came multiple times, he really goes feral.
he keeps on chasing the pleasure even though it probably hurts with all the sensitivity he’s feeling.
his moans are broken and it only gets louder at that point.
“baby girl, ahh- fuck--! you feel so good-” kirishima groans out, mouth open and showing those sharp teeth of his that you oddly had some weird fixation with. you looked at his lips, it was red and tender, as his teeth peaked out. you rolled your hips when you heard his small whine as your hand went to his mouth. shoving two fingers in his mouth, playing with his tongue that eagerly met your fingers.
feeling his cock twitch inside you, you smirked down at the fucked out expression the man was giving you. you pressed down to his throat making him gag but his thrust never faltered and only quicken at your action.
“you look so fucking amazing, eijirou~”
at your praise, his hips jerked and a loud moan followed it, a bit muffled by your fingers. riding him, you moaned at the pleasure he gave you as kirishima’s thick cock nudged your g-spot.
the red-haired male groaned loudly around your fingers when he felt you clench around him, your velvety walls tight and warm as you rip an unexpected orgasm from him.
hips jerking wildly when he suddenly came, pleasure coursing through his veins. a pathetic whimper escaping him when you continued to ride him. the sensitivity brought tears to his eyes but he didn’t stop you, body jerking when pain and pleasure hit him.
“i wanna see you cum again, ei~”
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fine line - part one
a/n: I hope you guys enjoy this series!! it was a fun one for me to write because the dramatic irony was off the freaking charts lmfao, also there is an alternative ending which I don’t think I’ve done before (?) so that was fun too! this will of course still follow the same posting schedule of 11 and 7 everyday. let me know if you guys have any questions and please only dm or send me an ask to be added to the taglist - I keep missing ones in comments :(
warnings: language, like I said a fuckton of dramatic irony just throughout the series you want to shake reader and peter, attempted assault, fighting
pairing: peter parker x reader
word count: 3.9k
summary: you and spider-man are great partners, friends, maybe even more - but you and peter absolutely despite each other. there’s only so much time before one of you realized who the other really is (request asked for super-powered reader and Medusa as the name which I thought was sick so hopefully did that justice!)
masterlist ~ requests are closed ~ part two
~
"You know, I hate when you get that look on your face."
"What? You can't even see my face, only my eyes."
"No, but I can picture it pretty clearly. Something like this?" Spider-Man's mask shifted a little and his white eyes squinted, as if that was supposed to make you envision what face he was making.
"You're weird."
"And you love it, Frosty."
You scoffed at the nickname, turning away from your partner. For almost eight months, you and Spider-Man had teamed up to watch over New York. The city was a mess after the snap - more criminals than ever had sprung up during the five year gap, and of course all the ones that had been dusted returned. They expected to get their turf back, their drug rings, all their connections - it led to a lot of nasty gang fights and other crimes unlike anything you'd seen before.
Spider-Man was a little ruffled when he came back to New York after five years and discovered that there was another hero running around. You had only been at it for a few months before everyone returned.
You gained your powers and wanted to put them to some kind of use. You lost friends and family in the snap, and this was one of the only ways you could distract yourself from that kind of pain and help people. You were moved to New York to live with your dad, discovered that Spider-Man and a good chunk of other heroes were gone, and put your newfound powers to use.
A few months into your new hero gig was when everyone returned, including Spider-Man - who nearly scared the shit out of you when you were patrolling one day.
"Hello!"
"Agh!"
A red and blue figure was suddenly next to you and you did the only thing you could think of, which was throw your hand out and freeze him. Not literally - your power was more like an illusion, or invisibly binding, you supposed. As long as you concentrated and pictured something or someone frozen in place, it actually held them in place.
"Uh, what did you just do to me?" He laughed a little awkwardly, and you immediately dropped your hand when you recognized him.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry," you covered your mouth with your hands, as if you weren't already wearing a mask. "You-you're Spider-Man!"
"At your service," he bowed, making you crack a smile. "And...you must be my replacement?"
"Replacement?" You waved a hand, "That's a bit harsh, don't you think?"
"I'm kidding," he held a hand out, and you shook it, "Nice to meet you...?"
"Uh...Medusa. That's what they've started calling me, at least."
"That is a sick name! If you want, we could do this together," he offered, "I think we'd make a pretty good team. Emphasis on 'pretty'."
"You don't even know what I look like," you laughed.
"I just have a good feeling," one of his masked eyes winked at you.
"I really hope you're not some weird old man."
"Hey! I'm seventeen," he put a hand on his chest, offended, "I hope you aren't some weird old man."
"You got me," you said dramatically, and he snickered. "I'm also seventeen."
"So. Can I call you Frosty?"
That was his stupid nickname for you, which didn't even make sense. You didn't actually freeze anyone - you didn't know how to fully explain your power, but it certainly didn't involve ice. He claimed that freezing people in place with your mind was basically the same as freezing them physically, so frosty was apparently an appropriate nickname. You figured he only used it because it annoyed you.
And despite not knowing at all what you looked like, he was a huge flirt.
He perked up suddenly, dragging you out of your thoughts. You were still trying to get used to his Spidey sense, or whatever it was called. Sometimes he would just stiffen and tell you that you were both needed somewhere, other times he would just stop talking mid sentence and grab you and go.
"We gotta go," he said quickly, already throwing an arm around your waist and jumping off the ledge you were both perched on. It was hard not to scream in panic when he did that, but you were getting more used to it.
You held onto him tightly as he swung you both down a few blocks. By now you knew better than to ask where you were going - the first time you tried talking to him while swinging didn't result in him hearing you at all over the sound of the wind.
He landed you both on the roof of a warehouse by the water. You both tensed at the sound of a girl screeching, and your heart dropped.
You hated these nights. It was more frequent than you wished, and it scared you more than most other criminals you fought.
Spider-Man jumped into action, jumping down to the back side of the warehouse where a large man was cornering a girl. You followed, getting ready for the routine that you usually had when it came to men like this.
"I think you should pick on people your own size," Spider-Man huffed, making the guy turn around.
"Neither of you are my size, by the looks of it," he growled.
"Ouch," Spider-Man visibly deflated. "I mean, personality wise, I am way bigger than this guy, right, Medusa?"
"Whatever makes you sleep at night, Spidey," you responded, relaxing a little when the girl got the hint and started sneaking away.
"I'm also not a creep who preys on women, so I think that says something about my character," Spider-Man's voice turned more serious, and the guy's eyes widened when he realized what you were both doing. He turned to where the girl had been standing and clenched his fists when he realized she wasn't there anymore.
"Where did that brat go?" He hollered, and your fists tightened. You didn't dare look in the direction you saw her run and ride.
"Nowhere you're going to find her," you spat.
"If you would do the honors?" Spider-Man turned toward you, and you nodded.
You held your hand up once you were both close enough, and concentrated. When you got your powers nearly a year ago, you struggled with how they worked. It started with you throwing balls of crumpled up paper in the air and imagining them stuck in place. That was hard enough in the beginning, and you could only hold it for a few seconds before it fell back down and you got a piercing headache.
Now you were a little more practiced at it. The man was wide-eyed and clearly struggling, but you weren't having as hard of a time. You concentrated on the idea of him not moving, as if invisible bands of air were keeping him in place, and it worked. However, he was really set on getting free of the invisible prison you trapped him in, and you had to step forward and narrow your eyes to keep it from breaking.
You held up your hand more, struggling to keep him still. One of the pains about using your powers by yourself, was that you had to concentrate so hard on keeping someone frozen, that you sometimes couldn't do anything else at the same time. Depending on how long you were freezing someone and how much they struggled, sometimes you had to just stand there. Having a partner certainly helped with that.
Spider-Man was whistling as he walked up to the guy. "Man, I wish you were around when I started, this power is so awesome."
"It's not gonna be so awesome if you don't hurry up," you said stiffly, struggling. The stronger the person you were trying to freeze in place was, the harder it was to hold it. And this dude was really struggling to break free.
"Okay, okay," he chuckled and grabbed the man's upraised arms, pulling them back behind him and webbing them together in makeshift handcuffs. You dropped your hand with a sigh, hurrying over to where the girl was hiding behind the dumpster.
"You okay?" You asked softly, reaching a hand out. She burst into tears and tackled you in a hug, stuttering out a bunch of thank you's. You looked up at Spider-Man over her shoulder, seeing that he had knocked out the guy, which probably wasn't necessary, but you definitely weren't complaining.
"Call the police," you told him, and he nodded, walking away to start talking to his AI.
"Do you want us to wait with you for the police?" You asked her once she calmed down, "We'll have to leave once they show up, but we can stay until then."
"Please," she begged, and you nodded, keeping a hold of one of her hands to keep her calm. You had been through enough situations like this one to know not to ask her anything about how she ended up here or if that guy had done anything to her. Instead you asked her about the themed pins she had decorating her backpack, hoping to distract her from the situation.
Spider-Man stayed by the guy, probably making sure that he didn't wake up. You also figured he got the idea that sometimes in situations like this, the girl probably didn't want to be around any men. It never helped when the police showed up, though.
"We gotta go," Spider-Man came up to you both, just as you could hear a car pulling up. You nodded, promising the girl that the police would be there soon. She seemed to understand that you couldn't stay - you and Spider-Man didn't have the best relationship with the cops.
You both watched from the roof as they hauled the man into the police car. Both of you were more comfortable once they had him rather than leaving too early, but not where they could see you. Luckily a female officer was talking to the girl, and you felt a lot better about having to leave her.
You felt a hand on your shoulder.
"Ready?" Spider-Man asked you softly, and you nodded. He slipped his arm around your waist and shot a web at a nearby rooftop, and you both swung away.
"You alright?" He asked once he set you both down at your usual spot. Somehow he had a sixth sense when it came to how you were feeling, but he also knew how much you hated situations like that one.
"I hate men," you muttered as you sat down, and he just nodded in agreement. "I hate to think of all the ones we don't catch."
"If you think like that, you'll go crazy, trust me," he sighed, sitting next to you, "We saved one girl from a really horrible thing today. I think that counts for something."
"You're right."
"As always."
"Okay, now you're pushing it-"
You got cut off as you both heard a familiar buzzing sound. Spider-Man and you exchanged a look, already knowing what that sound meant. The two of you looked down at the busy street, seeing some people already beginning to run away as a man started walking down, cackling.
"Ugh, can someone just take me out already," you groaned, putting your face in your hands.
"I've asked many times," Spider-Man noted, and you rolled your eyes.
"You know that's not what I meant."
"We should probably go after this guy. Again."
"This is a literal nightmare," you muttered.
"I can think of worse nightmares, actually."
You ignored him, and adjusted your mask nervously. This villain was awful - he was pretty much the only one that you two couldn't catch. A large part of that was that your powers didn't really work on him. Usually for a few seconds, but not long enough to catch him. Not to mention you couldn't even use it too many times or it would stop working all together.
As much as you hated the disgusting men like the one you caught tonight, they were a lot easier to deal with. Criminals like this one were much harder.
"No need to be scared, we got this," Spider-Man nudged you, and you frowned at him.
"I am not scared. Let's go."
You and Spider-Man jumped down a few meters in front of where the bee guy was standing. He called himself Swarm from the few encounters you had, and he seemed to have a liking for stealing. He had a briefcase of something he probably stole in his hand, and he grinned when he saw you both.
"Stupid heroes," he laughed loudly, "Haven't we learned already? You can't catch me."
With that, he burst open. You and Spider-Man both rolled out of the way in opposite directions, which was your first mistake. This guy always managed to separate you both and then escape.
You rolled up onto your knee and extended both of your hands, clenching your jaw. For days, you hadn't been able to get this guy with your powers - he was made of hundreds of buzzing objects that resembled bees, but you doubted they were real.
A couple of stings had left you both in moderate pain, but you were worried if multiple occurred, they might be really dangerous.
The problem was that you couldn't freeze more than one thing at a time, and this man was made of hundreds of 'things'. You tried to focus on the largest swarm of them, and the closest to you. But it wasn't working the way you planned, the stupid things just kept moving-
"Watch out!" Spider-Man tackled you from the side, and you both rolled over each other just in time to dodge a different swarm coming right at you.
When you both stopped rolling, the buzzing sound was gone - he had escaped again.
"Damn it," you muttered, accepting Spidey's hand to help you up. "That guy pisses me off."
"What kind of super villain would want to be bee themed," he muttered in response, making you crack a smile.
"You're literally spider themed."
"Whatever."
-
You woke up the next morning with a few stings and a headache. Spider-Man had suggested calling it quits for the night, and you couldn't have agreed more. The emotional and physical toll on your body was enough to make you hit your bed and knock out right away.
School wasn't something you were looking forward to, anyway.
You had moved to New York just a few months before half the population was returned. Midtown High was a nice school, one that your father thought would be a good fit for you. You made friends quickly, but things got complicated when students were suddenly appearing in the middle of class.
Adjustments were made, and several of your friends were put in different classes to accommodate the students that had returned. You made new friends, MJ and Ned, who were both really nice.
For some reason, though, their friend Peter didn't become your friend so easily. Or at all.
You got annoyed just thinking about him, shoving your books into your bag with more force than necessary. The last thing you ever expected was to have drama with some random boy you had never met before, but it seemed like the second you two were introduced, he despised you.
A lot of people were angry and confused when they returned after the snap, and understandably so. You originally figured he was stressed and would get over it once everyone adjusted, but he never seemed to get used to you. You weren't one to take hits without fighting back, and pretty soon you were arguing with him nearly every day over the stupidest things imaginable.
"Morning," MJ's voice interrupted your thoughts, and you realized you had made it all the way to school thinking about how much Peter Parker irritated you, which was just really pathetic.
"Morning," you couldn't help but yawn, hoping your headache would go away soon. You hated the side effects of your powers sometimes.
"What kept you up all night?" She asked as you both headed to your lockers.
"Physics," you lied, waiting while she shuffled through her books. "We have that project coming up, and I was thinking of ideas for it."
"Yeah, good luck with that," she snickered, and you frowned at her.
"What's that supposed to mean? I'm alright at Physics!"
"Yeah, but you and Peter aren't alright at communicating with each other, so I wouldn't be surprised if this blows up."
"I'm not partnered with Peter, I'm partnered with Ned," you said in confusion, before your expression dropped. "No, please tell me Ned didn't have him join the group."
MJ chuckled at you as you resisted banging your head against a locker. Ned had the bright idea for months now that forcing you and Peter together for things like projects or hangouts would somehow change how you felt about one another.
"Of course he did, and I'm not surprised he didn't have the guts to tell you," MJ shook her head. "Either way, good luck. Too bad I'm not in Physics with you guys, I'd love to witness the Peter and Y/N show."
"You suck," you pouted, and she laughed.
Ned was a little more hopeful than she was about the project, but it quickly went downhill fast. You were explaining your ideas to Ned and Peter thought they were stupid, and Ned tried to get you both to compromise on one but it resulted in you both arguing about which one would get the better grade.
Ned finally picked one of Peter's, much to your annoyance, but he let you use some of your original ideas to fit into the project. To no one's surprise, Peter didn't like any of them.
"This is a stupid idea," Peter complained, leaning back. You were all seated around one of the cafeteria benches outside the school, Ned looking like he made the biggest mistake in joining you two up for a project. None of you wanted to be there.
"Oh, and your ideas are so much better?" You frowned.
"Guys, come on," Ned begged before Peter could snap anything back at you, "I can't afford to get a bad grade on this. If you guys aren't going to get along I'll find another group."
As much as you hated Peter, you couldn't let Ned down. "Fine. I'll be quiet."
Peter muttered something that sounded like "yeah right", but you just grit your teeth and tried to ignore it. Ned's grade rested on this project, and honestly, so did yours. You needed to start showing improvement before your dad realized your grades were slipping.
Eventually you all decided to end it for the day and go home. Ned seemed to be sick of both of your bickering and tried to change the subject as you all walked home.
Peter instead began doing something that you were sure he was fully aware of. "Ned, MJ and I were planning on going to the opening of that new exhibit at MoMA next week, do you want to come? I'm sure we could carpool."
Making plans without you with you being right there. Awesome.
"That'd be sick! Y/N, you wanna join?" Ned asked excitedly, and you almost smiled at how sweet he was. Clearly Peter did not want to invite you, though.
"I think I'm good, I don't know if there would be enough room with Peter's ego being there."
"Pretty sure it's your attitude that would take up all the room," Peter snapped.
"Okay, that's it," Ned held his hands up, looking stressed. "I'm going the rest of the way by myself. I can't stand you two."
"Ned!" You both protested at the same time, but he was already shaking his head and walking in the other direction.
"That's what you get for jamming your way into our project," you muttered, and Peter glared at you.
"Ned and I could do this entire thing on our own, you're just going to hold us back," he said harshly. "Ned's only your friend anyway because he feels bad for you for some reason."
"You're an asshole," you snapped, pretending that what he said didn't hurt. You knew Ned was more Peter's friend than yours, but you hoped Peter was lying just to try to hurt your feelings. Ned was one of the only friends you had. Aside from your favorite spider, he and MJ were the only real friends you had.
"See you tomorrow, sunshine," Peter gave you a sarcastic wave before turning and heading down the other direction. You hated when he called you that.
That annoying look on his face haunted you up until you were masked up and at your meeting spot with Spider-Man. The stupid things he had said to you kept jumping around in your thoughts, too, which didn't help your already bad mood.
And you had to work with him after school everyday until this project was finished.
You kicked the wall angrily, ignoring the pain in your foot from doing that.
"Damn, what did that wall do to you?" You jumped and looked at where Spider-Man was leaning against the other wall, his mask shifting like he was raising an eyebrow.
"I wish I had Spidey senses, so you would stop sneaking up on me," you teased, your bad mood already vanishing as soon as you saw him. "Nothing, just annoyed."
"Someone's been annoying you?" He asked, and your grin dropped a little.
"You know I'm not going to give you any details, Spidey."
"Still, if someone was upsetting you, I'd want to know," he smacked a clenched fist against his palm, "I can fight."
You couldn't help but laugh at that, holding your stomach. "You couldn't be further from the truth. I'm just stressed about school."
Technically a lie? Although Peter did make school a lot more stressful.
"Then may I distract you with a night of patrolling, my dear Frosty?" He held his hand out, and you rolled your eyes but took it anyway.
"I would do just about anything for you to stop calling me that."
"Anything?"
"Oh, shut up."
~
tag list:
@somefuckshit1 @nocturnalms @sanniesdiary @peter-parkers-passport @chosuah01 @runawaywithmyghost @baby-bi-bi-bi-yeah @jallerentrags @spideysloverera @jemimah-b99 @redsakura101
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Hancuffed together Chapter 3: ‘Free’
Summary:
Loki and you were hancuffed together, because the team was sick of the two fo you not getting along. Today they come finally back from a mission, setting you ‘free’ from Loki.
Word count:
2.579 words
Warnings:
Smut, dubious consent, knifeplay, praise
A/N:
I wrote another chapter, hope you like it. If you have any ideas, suggestions or comments, please let me know :)!
Click here for chatper 1
Click here for chapter 2
To say you were physically tired would be an understatement. Loki had you in a tight grip, still asleep. He had woken you two times that night to ‘play with you’ as he liked to put it. He was breaking you down. Each time you put up less of a fight and he was starting to push your boundaries. The truth is, you kind of loved what he was doing to your body. It was intense, even painful sometimes, but the pleasure was well worth it. His personality sadly hadn’t changed. He was still as arrogant, egotistic, moody, and snarky as he had always been.
You shook Loki awake, who just grumbled grumpily at you. ‘I’m hungry’ you said. He turned around to lay on his back, eyes still closed. ‘Sounds like a you-problem’ he replied. You sat up straight and tugged a few times at the cuffs. Loki sighed but got up with you. The two of you were eating breakfast in silence. Even tough you were fixing your eyes on your eggs, you felt Loki’s gaze boring into you. You were startled when the rest of the team loudly made their entrance. ‘Tony, you owe me 10 bucks’ Steve said. ‘Ho, ho, there is still time’ Tony replied. ‘So, how has the lovely couple been doing for the past two days?’ he mused. You both glared at Tony who put his hands up in defence ‘Let me rephrase, how are the two of you doing?’ he quickly said.
‘Fine’ you said irritated at Tony and Loki just nodded. ‘How was the mission?’ Loki asked. Natasha quickly explained that they were staking out and tracking some people of Hydra, but hadn’t had much luck. You were waiting impatiently until she was done. ‘So, can we take these off now?’ you asked holding up the cuffs. ‘Sure’ Steve said, motioning for Tony to take them off. ‘How do we know it worked?’ Thor asked them. Everyone looked at the two of you. ‘We’ve come to an understanding’ Loki replied for the both of you. A big smile appeared on Thor’s face ‘I say we keep them together for this day. To be sure they truly improved their behaviour’. If you could murder people by glaring at them, you had just murdered Thor. Before you could protest Loki had already agreed. If you disagreed know, they surely wouldn’t believe the two of you. ‘Can we just take them off for half an hour? So, I can take a shower?’ you asked. After the group had a quick discussion they agreed. But only if you and Loki would willingly put the cuffs back on after half an hour. If not, the two of you were on house arrest together for the rest of the month.
After you were free, even if it was for a short amount of time, you quickly walked to your room and locked the door. You got rid of your clothes and jumped into the shower. It felt good to have some alone time. After a while there was a knock on the door ‘You have 10 minutes left’ Tony said. ‘Just one more day, you can do this’ you whispered to yourself. You got out of the shower and dried yourself off. You walked back to the bedroom to get some clothes out of your closet. That’s when you saw a dark green bustier on the bed with a matching thong. There was a note next to it which elegantly spelled your name. You opened the note: See you in 10 minutes, kitten – L. There was no way you were wearing that. He could be such an asshole sometimes. You were wondering how he even got in here. You checked the door, but it was still locked. It donned on you that the both of you had your powers back. And this must be Loki’s passive aggressive way of telling you that he could go and come as he pleases.
You were absolutely furious at Loki. But two could play it this game. You got dressed and instead of the green lingerie you chose your red bra and thong. If things did get out of hand, and you had a feeling they will, he will be pissed at you for wearing his brother’s colours. After you got dressed you walked back to the living room, where Tony was already waiting with the cuffs. He had an amused smile on his face. Loki entered shortly after you, having a blank expression on his face. Tony cuffed the two of you back together and the rest of the team went about there day. You had to be honest, cuffed together with Loki was awkward at first, but now that the team was here it was a whole lot more uncomfortable.
The two of you settled down on the couch. You both were reading a book, but this time you both had different books and you were wearing more clothes than the last time Loki ‘wanted to read’. After a while Steve wanted to play a boardgame. At first you didn’t want to play, but Loki convinced you that it would be good to show the rest of the team you indeed got along. Thor and Clint joined you and you had to admit you had fun. Loki was friendly, relaxed and funny. You wondered why he wasn’t like that all the time or why you were the only person he didn’t treat like that. After dinner the whole team decided to watch a movie. You really wanted to go to bed, but would only do that once you were free.
You felt someone shaking your shoulder. You woke up and realized that you had fallen asleep during the movie. You blamed Loki for keeping you up all night. The most embarrassing thing is that you fell asleep on his shoulder. The rest of the team, except Tony, were already gone. Tony handed Loki the key and walked out of the living room. Loki grinned at you ‘Don’t for a second that when we’re not cuffed together that you’re free off me’. You sighed ‘Can’t we just leave these days for what they were?’ Loki seemed to ponder over the question, and while you were waiting for him to respond you realized, you didn’t know what response you wanted. You were holding your breath, waiting for him to answer you, which he took a long time doing. He uncuffed the two of you. You rubbed your wrist, it felt good to be free. Loki shot you a wicked grin ‘No, you are mine’
Your breath hitched and you got up, making your way back to your bedroom. To your surprise Loki wasn’t following you. You closed the door behind you, but knew he would be able to enter when he wanted to. You were startled when you heard a low voice right next to your ear ‘Going somewhere, kitten?’. You weren’t proud of it but shrieked a little. You were spun around and now facing Loki, who was towering over you with his dominant figure. ‘Or did you just forget what you agreed to yesterday?’ he purred. His eyes were sparkling full of mischief. ‘I- I said those things because you made me, I didn’t mean that’ you began to argue. ‘I think you did, you’re just too ashamed to admit it’ Loki said while smiling wickedly. You opened your mouth to tell him to get lost, but he grabbed you and slid his tongue inside of your mouth. You were getting lost in the kiss, the fight almost left you.
Then you realized you had your powers. You pushed him off you and immediately raised a shield around yourself. You thought Loki would be angry, but he seemed to be amused. A green fire bolt appeared in his hand and that’s when you realized, he also had his powers back. He shot the green bolt at you, making your shield crumble. ‘This isn’t fair’ you half yelled at him. He smile only widened, he knew it wasn’t. Your magical nature was healing, while his was that of a warrior. He was trained to fight, you were trained to help and aid. He grabbed you by your waist. You tried to form a magic bolt of your own, but when Loki bit down your neck, you lost your concentration and the bolt disappeared from your hands. He threw you down the bed. You tried to scramble away from him, but an invisible force tied your hands to the headboard. You were struggling against the invisible bonds, but they only tightened around you. ‘Stop struggling, kitten. You know you want this’ Loki sighed. ‘I don’t. Stop!’ you said to him. One of his eyebrows shot up ‘Really? You didn’t put up much of a fight’ he said. ‘I literally put a shield around me’ you argued. He just smirked at you ‘One of your weakest types of shields and you haven’t tried to paralyze me or anything. So, like I said you didn’t really fight me. We both know you want this’
With a wave of his hand Loki made all your regular clothes disappear, leaving you in nothing but your lingerie. Your red lingerie. You hadn’t seen anyone going from amused to furious so fast. The bonds on your hands tightened. Loki wasn’t saying anything to you, but his face made you absolutely terrified. You wanted to make him angry, but now that he was you felt like you made a dangerous mistake. In an instant Loki conjured up a knife and held it to your throat. ‘Looks like someone has been a very bad girl’ he growled in your ear. You started to panic, not daring to move an inch. ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry’ you whispered while fighting back tears. Loki was sliding the knife against the length of your throat. ‘If you’re so sorry, why do it in the first place?’ he asked you. You really wished Loki wasn’t the God of Lies right now. But since he was, you decided to just be honest. ‘I wanted to make you mad’ you said meekly. Loki laughed darkly ‘Well, you have succeeded’
‘I’m s- sorry’ you began to sob. ‘Since you’re new at this and you seem to understand the gravity of your mistake, I will let you off easy’ he purred. His hand grabbed your hair and he pulled hard, making you bare your throat to him. ‘But let me be clear, don’t let it happen again’ he said. ‘Yes’ you replied. He let go of your hair and you relaxed a bit. You felt the tip of the dagger against your throat, which made you tense up again. ‘Now, stay very still or this is going to be a very painful experience’ he commanded you. His blade travelled downwards over your chest, between your breasts. It slid effortlessly through your bra and your breast sprung free. You tried to keep your breathing even, but were startled at how sharp the knife actually was. Loki smirked when he saw your breasts and started to slide the knife around to play with them. Still extremely scared you couldn’t help that tears were running over your cheeks. When Loki looked up at you his expression changed, and you would almost say he was looking concerned.
With his other hand he strokes the tears from your face. ‘Sssh, there’s no need for that darling. You’re doing great so far. Just relax and trust me’ he told you with a soothing voice. Like it was the easiest thing to do right now. You did notice that the pressure of the knife slightly decreased. Loki was sliding the knife up and down your stomach, right above your panties. You took a deep breath and relaxed as much as you could. ‘That’s it, just submit to me’ he purred. Loki slowly cut through the sides of your panties. The sight was somehow quite erotic. The fabric fell from you and Loki withdrew the knife. ‘You did really well, kitten’ he praised you. Loki spread your legs further and placed himself in between them. The invisible bonds faltered, and you laid your hands on his chest. He gave you a smile, which you thought looked quite genuine.
He bent down to kiss you. It started out slow, but he got hungrier and started to kiss you faster. You enjoyed the way his lips felt on yours and how he tasted. You felt his hardened cock nudge at your entrance. You involuntarily bucked your hips, trying to get him inside of you. Loki chuckled darkly against your lips ‘I knew it’ he said in between his kisses. You felt him slowly pushing inside of you, making you moan very loud. Loki had left your mouth and was kissing you up and down your neck. You felt him smile against your skin when you moaned. He started to thrust in and out of you. He stopped kissing you and sat up straight. He was quick to put one of his legs over his shoulder, giving him a better angle. With every moan you made he thrusted faster inside of you. You heard him starting to mutter things under his breath, but you were too far gone to register what he was saying. His hand sought out your clit and you cried from pleasure when he started to stroke it lightly. ‘Please, Loki please make me cum’ you begged him. A little bit surprised that the words left your mouth before you could think about it. Loki seemed to be very pleased with your reaction and puts more pressure on your clit. He himself started to moan and you knew he was as close as you are. After a few more thrusts you walls clenched around his cock and you came hard. It triggered Loki’s own orgasm and you felt his seed spilled inside of you.
Loki pulled out of you and cleaned the both of you up with a hand gesture. That was an upside of Loki having his magic back you thought. He shimmered himself a pair of pyjama pants and laid down in your bed. You just stared at him ‘You’re staying?’ you asked him. He laid on his back, a hand behind his head, looking up at you. ‘Of course, I am’ he said, like you were stupid to even think otherwise. ‘I do suggest you wear something tonight, or you won’t be getting any sleep’ he purred. Not really sure how to get him out of your bed, you decided to let him sleep in your bed for this one time. You grabbed your own pyjama from underneath your pillow. It existed of a pair of black shorts and a red top. You were staring at the top and back at Loki. He was having an amused look on his face, wondering what you were going to do. After you put on the shorts you still were holding the red top. Loki cocked an eyebrow, giving you a ‘really?’-look. When you saw it you quickly threw the top on the ground and got under the blankets with him. He pulled you close so your head was on his chest. ‘Good girl’ he whispered. You snuggled closer to him when he said that, hearing him chuckle. He started to stroke your back and play with your hair, making you fall asleep fast.
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make it right.
a/n: i was on a writing high. i initially hated this so much but ended up with 12 pages long.
word count: 5.1k
genre: mature, smut, nsfw, angst to fluff
warnings: mentions of abortion, pregnancy
pairing: hawks x f!reader
𝅘𝅥𝅮 music rec: the reason by hoobastank 𝅘𝅥𝅮
summary: you told keigo that you’re carrying his child but he didn’t take it well. five years later he shows up in front of your door after being invited by his son and says he wants to fix everything.
you lean down towards the counter as you concentrate on creating pretty swirls of cream on the cake you baked with a piping bag. the dining table is full of food, a feast almost too huge for only two people, but you have a good excuse. it is a special day. your son’s fifth birthday to be exact.
kids these days can be ruthless and your son doesn’t get along very well with the other kids from his kindergarten. they like picking on others that seem too fragile, too quiet – criteria that fits him well and it doesn’t help with the fact that they know he’s growing up without a father. your child never opened up to you about the constant mocking he faced until one day you overheard him sobbing through his pillow in his own room. it was dark, though the door was still open by an inch to allow a small amount of light to penetrate into the room whenever he slept. he said he wanted to sleep earlier because he was tired but the muffling sounds he tried to conceal betrayed his efforts when you passed by later that night.
it made you angry and disappointed in yourself. you really tried your best to juggle between being a mom and a dad at the same time, keeping an eye on your child and working your ass off to make a living for the two of you. you’d always put up a tough front, never broke down in front of him when you were dead tired from being overworked and the thought of him trying to not make you worry, shattered your heart into pieces. you know that all he deserves is a good life and you constantly blame yourself for not being good enough, mostly angry at your past self for not even knowing how to make good decisions and think things through.
if only you could turn back time, you would tell yourself to never get involved with a pro hero – to never get involved with someone who feels so responsible for other strangers’ lives but not their own child’s.
were you being selfish? for not understanding that his work always comes first? he can’t possibly have a family when he has villains out there that need to be put in their right place for their crimes. were you expecting too much from him?
“can’t you… get rid of it?” he muttered. his cold words felt like a sharp blade that just stabbed you in the heart. never once you thought that he would say that. how easy was it for him to ask you to throw out another life like it meant nothing?
“keigo, you can’t be serious.” you shook your head, your legs were already wobbling and you felt sick to your stomach. this news should be happy for the both of you but unfortunately, you two weren’t on the same page.
was it your fault? keigo never spoke about having a child together but he always said he’d love to build a family with you someday – he loved you, he would always protect you and be there for you. sure, it was a slip up this time. you always made sure to take proper measures to avoid pregnancy from happening but you were also more than glad to bear this child and you were convinced that keigo would be happy about it as much as you were. he loved you so much, after all.
“i don’t think…” he stammered, trying to find the right words. “give me some time.”
your lips pursed into a thin line, hands clenching hard and knuckles turning white. think? the uncertainty in his voice was already giving you the obvious answer. he couldn’t even look you in the eyes. he never wanted this.
“save the trouble, keigo.” you spat. “how about i’ll just leave so you don’t even have to think at all?”
keigo finally lifted up his head to look at you with wavering eyes, but he still couldn’t find the words to say, to comfort you. “what are you saying?”
“i’m still going to have this child. even if it means i have to do it alone.” with a sharp breath, you turned around towards the door.
you heard a frustrating sigh coming from your back, “you know i can’t. you know damn well that i have my job as a hero and i can’t look after… after a child!”
“but it’s your child keigo!” you turned around to scream and look at him again, tears already welling in your eyes, threatening to pour out.
“and what difference does that make?!” he yelled back. “in fact, that’s even worse!”
the room was quiet as the both of you just stood there. keigo slowly realizing what just came out of his mouth in the heat of the moment while you just stared at him in disbelief. both were standing stunned and speechless from what he clearly said. that was it, you thought.
“fuck you.” you cursed under your breath and immediately left his place, not even sparing a look back.
if he was sorry, he would chase after you. if he didn’t mean it, he would look everywhere for you.
but none of that happened.
you ended up going back to your hometown after that. it was shameful, to finally see your parents again but just to cry on their feet as soon as you saw their faces and telling them that you were carrying an illegitimate child. it was devastating for them initially but thankfully they easily accepted it, welcoming you to stay over at their place with open arms so they could help you throughout your pregnancy until the baby was born and grown. above all, you were still their daughter. living far away, your parents had never met keigo and they were shocked to know that you were having the no.2 pro hero’s baby but also disappointed at how he reacted when you told him the news.
however, what was done is done and you can only manage to move forward by raising the child with your utmost capability. you promised yourself that you’ll protect and raise this child with as much love and care a mother can offer. whatever it takes, even if you’ll have to do it by yourself.
you ended up living with your parents until your son turned four and decided to live independently, not wanting to burden them any longer. they didn’t want to let you go, the presence of the child brought so much joy in their daily lives. he was a bundle of sunshine and they loved him so much.
and kyō is just beautiful.
keigo’s genes manage to overpower your son compared to yours. fluffy but shorter blonde hair, dark and sharp on the inner corner of the eyes and not to forget the red wings on his back. it isn’t as big as keigo’s yet but it still stands out. although he takes on your personality more, every part of him reminds you of keigo and sometimes it feels like a jab to your chest. it hurts to be reminded of the man that hurt you and told you to get rid of the child you were bearing so ruthlessly.
throughout the years, you tried to make peace with the past. at first, it was hard to look at the news and see his face. he was almost everywhere, a lot of stores also sold his merchandise and his face even covered the magazines-- you realized you couldn’t escape him, your past. although he’s in the limelight, the media was still unaware about his private life and you were glad alas the similar features of kyō to the pro hero made some passersby and mothers at the park question you. fortunately, you already came up with a bullshit excuse like “he is such a big fan of hawks and he cosplays him every day… and oh, the wings are fake too.”
of course, strangers weren’t the only ones who inquired about it. even the little child himself could smartly notice his resemblance with the pro hero.
as soon as he first saw hawks on tv, he went on and on about how they looked so much alike. he was beyond fascinated, he could barely understand what the news was talking about at the time but being on the screen was more than enough to make him understand that hawks was an amazing guy. his eyes would twinkle in wonder when the news caught footage of him flying in the air with his red wings spreading graciously. if anything at all, kyō just couldn’t wait to flap his own smaller wings soon.
then one thing led to another. a question that any curious child would ask their parents about.
oftentimes kyō would ask you about his dad. why didn’t he have one like the other children he played with at the park and oftentimes you would try to avoid the topic and shrugged it off with a lame joke saying how you were also his dad and how you were powerful to have two bodies in one unlike other people.
he ended up growing tired of it one day, crying to you and asked if the reason why he didn’t have one was because he didn’t love him – something he heard one of the kids said. it broke you and you were lost for words. you called your parents for support and after much discussion, your mother thought he deserved to at least know the truth and you did just that.
luckily, he took it surprisingly well. even his little brain can comprehend the job of a top hero, he understood that it was a lot of work and keigo was often busy and far away. it was less to his liking when you made him promise you to not tell anyone about it and he should keep it as a secret because bad guys would chase after him if another single soul would know and his dad did it to protect him. it was a bad lie, but still, you had to do it.
later, kyō realized that his birthday was coming soon. he knew what he had always wanted. he didn’t know if he could have it but maybe… maybe if he tried and wished hard enough, it would come true.
he sneakily took your phone to look up “hawks'' on your phone, though at first he was only shown results and pictures of the literal bird before smartly adding “pro hero” at the back. with limited comprehension, he eventually managed to find the agency’s website before scrolling further to find the address to the agency and scribbled it down on a piece of paper.
-
“daddy?!” the bell has been ringing for a few times but you were too concentrated on decorating the birthday cake to even hear it but your son’s small wings flutter in excitement as he runs across the hallway to open the door.
your heart stops for a second. was that the reason why your son was pacing around the living room? you’re not expecting any guests for tonight’s dinner at all, especially the father of your child.
“hey! i got your letter!” the familiar excited tone of his voice bursts from the door as he speaks. he kneels down eye-level as his son and gives him a big hug. “happy birthday.”
“what letter?” you break into the conversation, arms folded in front of your chest as you lean against the wall with an unamused expression written across your face.
“i wrote daddy a letter!” your son says proudly, but you can already imagine the horrible squiggly lines on the handwritten letter.
“and you gave me a picture too. you look exactly like me, am so happy!” keigo chuckles, ruffling the hair of his boy, eliciting little giggles from the other. it’s a beautiful sight and it makes your heart ache a little at the image of what it could’ve been. if only he was fully ready to accept the fact that he was gonna bear a child. if only he knew how to balance between his career and personal life. you could’ve had the most beautiful family you’ve ever dreamed of.
“honey, can you go to your room for a bit? your daddy and i have to talk.” you say softly, hoping that he won’t take it any other way.
“am i.. in trouble?” kyō turns to you with a frown and puppy eyes – which he knows well that it would always work on you and it’s almost adorable how it’s exactly what keigo would do whenever he makes you annoyed with his antics. it’s just one of his ways to apologize to you.
you sigh and shake your head, “no. we’re gonna talk about…” you glance elsewhere as you think of an excuse. “your surprise present!”
“it’s not a surprise anymore if you say it like that, mommy!” the child laughs and scurries to his room as told and the both of you watch him with a smile tugged on your lips.
you turn back to keigo with a dour expression as soon as your son closes the door to his room, causing him to fidget a bit from his spot. he hasn’t seen it for years, after all. he’s about to pull you into a hug but instead, you quickly turn your heels around towards the kitchen.
“i still have things to do. either you help me with it or leave.”
he quickly takes off his shoes and follows you, taking in the view around the house before he enters the kitchen. the atmosphere is stuffy and tense while you sit on the stool to continue decorating the cake.
“you can help by setting up the plates. top cabinet.” you break the awkward silence and keigo obliges, he reaches the cabinet to take out the available plates and put them nicely around the table.
“you made it yourself?” he tries to make a conversation as he glances at you working on the cake.
“yeah.” you simply reply without taking your eyes off from your work.
“it’s nice. chocolate?”
“obviously.”
keigo sighs from the underwhelming response, “i know you don’t want me here but –”
“no shit.” you almost slam the table but quickly recompose yourself by taking a deep breath. for the sake of your son, you know you shouldn’t get into an argument right now, at least not today.
“look, i’ll leave as soon as this is over if that’s what you want.”
you glare at him, “it’s more than what i want right now,” then it’s your turn to sigh. “but i doubt that’s what kyō would want.”
keigo already knows his name from the letter but his lips etch into a warm smile at the sound of the name you’ve given to the-- his child and a small part of him wishes that he was there in the process of choosing a name for the boy together with you.
“okay, just for tonight. we’ll pretend like we’re a happy family.” you stand up from the stool after putting the last candle and set the cake in the middle of the table.
“...and what if we don’t have to?” he blurts out after a brief and quiet moment, immediately catching your attention. he notices the puzzled look on your face and continues, “what if we really start being a happy family from now and onwards?”
you blink once, twice. for a second, you feel a heavy pang in your chest as your brain processes the words that just came out from his mouth. it’s like déjà vu, only this time keigo has certainty in his voice.
the room falls dead silent again as you stare at each other. you’re finding words and about to open your mouth to say something but kyō suddenly interrupts from the corner of the kitchen and both of your attentions quickly turn to him.
“mommy..? i’m hungry.”
“oh, sweetheart. you’re just in time!” you walk up to kyō to carry him in your arms before bringing him to the dining table. his eyes sparkle at the variety of food spread across the table and his wings flutter in excitement.
“can you help light up the candles? the lighter is in the drawer.” you usher to keigo as you show your son his favorite food you made earlier while keigo quickly rummages through the drawer. he lights up each candle as you put down kyō on one of the chairs before he stands on his knees to reach close enough to blow the candles. the both of you excitedly sing happy birthday and clap your hands as he blows off the candles after a brief moment for a wish.
“what did you wish for?” keigo asks, affectionately patting kyō on the head.
“i wish to be a hero like daddy!” he exclaims, arms and wings spread in enthusiasm. a bittersweet feeling engulfs him-- a part of him is disappointed and ashamed of himself while another part of him is elated and relieved that he’s still looked up upon by his own child. in the corner of his heart, keigo thinks he doesn’t deserve it. kyō is a splitting image of himself (minus the color of his eyes that he takes after you) and it easily brings back visions of him from the past. he wanted to be a hero too, but his father wasn’t someone he could look up to. hence, making endeavor the only man he idolized.
he realizes he is lucky enough to be the person his son looks up to. he knows that this was what his own younger self would want. a father he can be proud of, a hero at that. keigo wants to make it right with whatever it’ll take.
the night proceeds smoothly, all three of you have fun together like any normal family would and bonding over lost times. keigo is thoughtful (though his choice seems a little bit conceited) enough to give kyō a present; an action figure of himself. unknowingly, the walls that you built around you by the time keigo arrived earlier slowly crumbles and you grow less wary around him as time ticks by. when it’s bedtime for the boy, keigo insists on putting him to bed so he can spend more time with him which you gladly consented to so you can also continue cleaning up the kitchen.
a set of footsteps coming down the stairs can be heard as you’re seated on one of the stools while sipping tea.
“want some tea?” you offer without turning around to look at the male.
“sure.” he says as he walks up to you.
you can feel his tall and lean build ghosting you from the back as you pour a cup for him but his hands suddenly reach your shoulders and give them light squeezes.
“what are you doing?” you ask quizzically, glancing at the hand on your shoulder.
“giving you a massage.” he smiles innocently as he continues pressing on the knot in your stiff shoulders, making you sigh in reflex.
“trying to get on my good side?” you say in a mocking tone.
“hmm, just showing my appreciation to you.” his hands move lower to your spine, your back arches a little as he presses down your aching muscles.
“you’re five years too late, keigo.” you sneer but welcome his service as you close your eyes and hum in content. it’s not that bad, you assure yourself in your head.
keigo diligently continues to massage your back as the kitchen now fills with your quiet sighs and whimpers whenever he rubs on the sore spot. without you realizing, he slyly pulls the collar of your baggy shirt down and plants soft kisses on your bare shoulder.
“k-keigo?” you immediately open your eyes and flinch at the sudden touch.
he remains quiet while his hands work up and down your arms gently and his lips move further up to your earlobe, sending tingling sensations down to your core and you can already feel your nipples harden underneath your shirt.
“relax.” his hot breath fans over your ear as he whispers. your cheeks are already burning red and you’re out of sarcastic remarks as you can only find yourself to indulge into his touches.
you gasp in surprise when keigo’s hands sneakily move under your shirt and quickly unsnaps your bra. he massages your breasts and kneads them gently before teasing your erect nipple between his fingers. your hands firmly clenches the edge of the island to hold yourself as he nips on the crook of your neck, just gently to carefully not leave a mark.
“you want more, babybird?” he coos as he realizes that your thighs are pressing against each other. as much as you hate to admit it, the nostalgic pet name tugs on your heartstrings and you find yourself melting after hearing it after years again.
feeling embarrassed, you quietly nod your head.
“i can’t hear you.” a teasing tone lingers in his voice. he knows what he’s doing and you hate him for it.
“more, keigo...” you whine. it sounds so innocent and adorable but it absolutely makes his cock twitch. noticing that you’ve been avoiding looking at him the whole time, he uses one of his hands to make you look at him and grins when he catches the red tint spread across your face before he presses his lips onto yours.
the traces of your ego make you hesitate at first but you’re quick to lose it as he deepens it, as if to send you a silent message of how much he misses you while his tongue intertwines with yours.
one of his hands remains to massage your mound while the other travels down south to easily part your legs and cups your heated sex. keigo rubs the clit against the fabric of your pants, eliciting breathy moans from your lips between kisses. you pull away and lean back to his body as he slides his hand under your pants, feeling the wet patch that is already staining your underwear.
“already wet from all of that?” he says playfully, taking out his hand to look at the damp juices as he rubs it between his fingers.
“says the man that was grinding his cock on my back.” you roll your eyes halfheartedly, missing the faint blush that becomes apparent on his cheeks.
keigo then reaches for the cups in front of you and pushes them aside before lifting you up on the kitchen island, making you turn towards him. he swiftly pulls down your pants along with your underwear, your cunt bare and glistening under the lights for him to see.
his golden irises lock with yours as he kicks the stool to the side and crouches down to spread your thighs apart. he starts to lap off your juices, tongue alternating between your throbbing clit and hole. your elbows help to prop you up as your head hangs back and your eyes close in pure bliss.
keigo smacks and clenches your thighs to draw your attention to him, “baby, look at me.”
you submissively lift your head to look at him, eyes locking with each other again as he watches you squirm on the tongue flicking your clit and eats you out like a starved man having his first meal after a long day.
you grab a lock of his blonde hair in one hand, pushing him closer as your legs tremble around his head, feeling the bubbling sensation of your orgasm building up.
“mmh – gonna cum!” you cry out in ecstasy, instantly forgetting the people next door and your son that’s sound asleep on the upper floor as you chase after your high.
keigo smoothly slides two fingers inside your pussy and your hips begin to grind desperately onto them. he knows you’re close when he feels the walls clenching around him and with another suck on the clit, he quickly gets to tip you over the edge.
“so good for me.” he coos as he pulls away, licking his fingers clean before carrying your panting body in his arms and walks over to sprawl your body on the couch. he hovers on top of you and kisses you again while his hands work on unzipping and taking off his lower garments to free his throbbing cock.
he smears the precum by pumping his cock as he watches you down, adoring the look of absolute bliss on your face and half lidded eyes that he longed for over the years.
“my songbird,” he purrs as he leans down to you and lines his cock with your wet cunt, “you’re so beautiful.”
if you’re already red, the endearing pet name makes you even redder. your gaze avoids his to hide your embarrassment but he only draws it back gently by your chin with his thumb and finger.
“don’t you miss me?” his brows furrowed as he searches your face. you can only stare back into his eyes – bright irises filled with nothing but genuine curiosity and desolation.
your lips pull into a thin line as you ponder for a moment, promptly unable to vocalize like earlier. it’s as if you let even one word escape your mouth, it would make you burst into tears instead. of course you missed him. your mind often wondered if he even thought of you at least once. even when you did make peace with the past, you still couldn’t bring yourself to be the one to make the first step. ego is an ugly thing and you were certain that keigo should be the one to look for you even if it was hard for him since you just disappeared out of his life.
noticing the reluctance to give him an answer, he shushes you. “it’s okay.” he kisses you sweetly on your nose. “but let me show how much i’ve missed you.”
he trails open mouthed kisses down your jaw, neck and collarbone as your hands run through his hair and down to his back. a soft whine manages to escape from your mouth when he nibbles on the soft flesh of your neck, instantly marking it red this time.
his mouth then latches onto your nipple through your shirt, making you squirm beneath him. your hands clenches to the fabric of his shirt when you feel his fingers teasingly dancing between your wet folds and his thumb ghosting over your clit.
keigo gives you a kiss on the lips again before pulling away, the cushion dips as he props himself on the knees, rubbing his hard cock against your wet slits and smearing it with your juices.
a low hiss slips from his lips as he slowly prods in the tip of his cock and your expression twists into discomfort as you feel him stretch you out more – a familiar mixture of pain and pleasure that you haven’t felt for a while.
keigo waits for you to adjust and as soon as you give him the greenlight, he continues to completely balls deep inside you.
“babybird, you feel so good.” he grunts as he bucks his hips and slowly starts to move.
you bite your lower lip hard, enough to draw blood as you try to stifle your moans. keigo leans down to kiss you while your arms find themselves wrapping around his neck. he thrusts harder and faster and your whimpers and whines finally find themselves shamelessly slipping past from your mouth.
“fucking– hah– perfect.” he pants as he pulls away to look at your flustered face, eyes half closed and mouth agape with pleasure.
you quickly bury your face on the crook of his neck and hold onto him tighter while your legs wrap securely around his waist. keigo moves his thumb on your clit, pressing down and rubbing circles all to entice nothing but tightening the coil down in your core more.
“keigo, keigo –” you cry as your nails dig the fabric on his back and your toes curl to the intense sensation.
“baby wants to cum?” he growls as he feels your walls clamping around his cock, making him buck his hips even wilder.
“yesyesyes – oh god, keigo!” your mind turns putty and unable to form any more coherent words, making only his name being the only thing you remember as your eyes close shut while you’re nearing your high.
“that’s it – baby. cum on my cock.” he encourages and you do just that. your pussy flutters as you finally reach your orgasm but his sporadic thrusts doesn’t stop until it starts to falter and his wings tremble.
“fuck. i’m gonna fill you up.” he grits through his teeth and his cock twitches before his wings spread wider as he releases his warm cum inside you.
the both of your bodies stay against each other, chests heaving for air before he briefly pulls out his cock and lays on top of your chest.
“yes.” your voice suddenly croaks, breaking the almost silent air in the room if not for the sound of yours and his breathing.
keigo lifts up his head to look at you confusingly before a lopsided smile curls on his lips when he hears you utter the next few words.
“yes. i missed you and i don’t want to pretend anymore.” you suddenly feel overwhelmed and tears start to well in your eyes. a flash of panic crosses his face and he pulls you closer into his embrace, hoping to calm you down as you sniffle on his chest.
“shh, baby. i’m sorry. i know it’s too late and i was so fucking stupid but i’ll – ”
“i want to live as a happy family with you, keigo.” you cut him off, sobbing through his shirt. he pulls away at once to look at you, unable to believe what he just heard through the choking sob but it still makes even him want to cry.
“babybird, i – ” he’s completely tongue-tied. at this point he can only manage to lean down to be close to you again. he peppers kisses all over your face, saying how thankful and happy he is.
“i love you, my little bird. i won’t fuck up this time, i promise.” he whispers, finally regaining his composure.
that night, keigo could barely sleep a wink. so many thoughts are running through his head. he glances at you sleeping peacefully next to him on the bed and he already pictures how it is to be waking up to see your face every morning. he also hopes that kyō doesn’t know how to fly yet so he could teach him how to use his wings. oh, he’ll also get to find an excuse to buy more buckets of chickens once you three will start living together.
he can already imagine how the headlines will be bombarded about him having a family and he sighs at the thought, but he hopes that his publicist is ready for a hell lot of work.
duskamethyst © 2020 • do not modify, translate or repost anywhere.
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plz it’s emo hours I’m missing EXO but also extremely fucking h0rny… would you consider writing a drabble about a h0rny reunion for either Chanyeol or Junmyeon like trying to go out for a nice dinner together but instead you just both become feral and need to drown in each other more than you need food like—
I miss exo too :/ but writing this did help a little. and since I haven’t really written about him just him, let’s go with junmyeon because he’s a cutie
You see your life flash before your eyes just for a split second. Your ankle almost giving out right below you as you scramble down the stairs with your hands occupied trying to adjust the backing of your earring.
You freeze, finding your balance again, before you resume conquering the last few steps at a much more careful pace.
It almost feels like seeing the man again for the first time, the way he sits tapping at his phone with a deep frown of concentration on his face in his nice clothes. You can’t remember exactly the last time you had seen him in person like this, let alone the last time you had a proper date like this, and it took everything for you to not squeal like a child.
He glances up, and the borderline scowl he wore suddenly lit up to a grin. Dramatically, he lays his phone down next to him and trails your entire form with his eyes, before he stands and walks over to you like you were a priceless statue in a museum.
“Have I told you lately that I love you?” The sudden question and compliment had your face heating up to an embarrassing degree, and you almost feel like this was a first date with a boy you’ve been crushing on rather than a nice night out with your long term boyfriend.
“I mean over text I suppose,” you play along, hoping your sarcastic tone covers the butterflies that try desperately to flutter out of your belly, “but hearing it in person is a lot nicer.”
“Well good to know,” he starts as he pulls you into his arms and presses a chaste kiss onto your lips, “I’ll make sure to say it plenty of times tonight.”
“Don’t get cheesy on me Jun,” you scold, smacking at his chest before leaning in for another peck. Only this time he tightens his hold when you try to pull away, deepening the kiss to a dangerous degree.
“Hey hey hey,” you whine as you finally garner the strength to pull away, “come on I want to go out at some point tonight.”
“Whatever you say goes,” he says in a droning but playful tone, playful enough that you decide not to shoot him a harsh glare from over your shoulder as you walk to the door.
He bounces behind you, following like a love sick puppy, and you’re sure that you can feel the way his eyes are totally glued to the sight of your ass as he approaches.
You’re collecting your purse and finding your keys when he wraps his arms around you again, and when his lips start to brush against your neck you freeze once again.
“Come here,” he coaxes as he turns you in his hold, and even when you huff and whine, his fingertips pressing into you and his heated breath feels good enough that you cant help but comply, “just wanna see you one last time, up close.”
“You’re gonna see me literally all night,” you complain, but your actions betray you as you melt into his chest and drop your purse onto the floor.
“Yeah, yeah. Let me just look at you,” and he does. His eyes move across your entire face. His bottom lip gets trapped between his teeth and as he takes his chance to rememorize your features you can’t help but to feel like you’re floating.
You could push against him as he presses his lips against yours again, whine again, and probably for the last time as he would probably cave and let you finally get onto your dinner. But you don’t because his kiss fills you with a soft heat and your arms are winding around his neck as he presses you against the door.
Time slips away, and so does your common sense as you move your hands up until your fingers thread into his nicely styled hair. He’s pushing his hips between your thighs and licking at the seam of your lips until you're moaning quietly into his mouth and he’s licking at the roof of your mouth.
No more coherent words are spoken as his hands start to slip up your thighs from underneath your dress. His fingers wander into your underwear and push the thin fabric to the side before he glides his fingers through your now dripping arousal.
You’re sure he has some hypnotic ability, his ability to make you melt beneath his fingers and bend to his every whim. You’re so caught up with the way he kisses you you don’t notice his fingers slipping away or him undoing his belt and button of his slacks.
You only notice how far it’s gotten when he drags the length of himself against your body, waiting for some hint of permission from you. With a jolt of your hips and a whine, he finally pushes into you and shoves you tightly against the door enough that you gasp.
Dinner is long forgotten as he rocks into you, and you tug on the roots of his hair and arch your back almost painfully away from the door. And with your first orgasm of the night being dangled in front of you like a prized piece of candy, you can’t really find it within you to care.
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Cross Contamination
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I'm fucking furious. To most people Jack Wilson is a hockey hotshot, but to me he is just my wife's ex that can't let go. She said they had another encounter, but wouldn't go into details, saying it wasn't just his fault. She couldn't help herself, she said. Knowing how much she loathes him I suspect she was afraid of him turning violent. He is a star athlete after all, known to have punched more than a few players on the ice.
I know he's training at the stadium right now. That's how bad it has gotten, that I even know his schedule. I'm probably speeding getting there, but nothing else is important right now. I park the car in the huge, but almost empty parking. Neverending slabs of concrete to allow for the cars of thousands of cheering fans during game day. Well, I'm certainly not a fan. Still fuming as I exit the car and heading towards the arena I see him and a few others from his team running towards the same building from across the car park. They must be out for cardio or something. I stop and shout towards them "Hey! Jack!"
I can see them slow down a little, Jack saying something to them, and then breaking apart jogging in my direction while they continue at speed towards the stadium building. I remain still, just glaring at him as he closes in on me. He slows down quite a bit away and saunters towards me, still panting. He has an aura of smug superiority. He's good looking, despite his matted, sweaty hair and week-old beard. It's not just because he's in top shape, but he has that classic athlete chin cut, and mesmerizing eyes to go with it too. He's quite a bit shorter than me, and way denser and muscled, but I would bet my weekly martial arts practice can match him if needed. "Hey, cocksucker! You managed to find your way here," he yells back at me.
"I want you to know..."
"Shut up"
I don't know why, but I can't look away from his intense eyes. It's like they can see into me, see every part of me. I'm frozen in place just watching him getting closer. "I said hey cocksucker. What are you waiting for? Go ahead and suck my cock." He says this as calmly as he can, never breaking eye contact. I don't think he blinks. I don't think I blink. I slowly go down on my knees, grabbing the hem of his sweatpants, and pull down. I still keep eye contact, so I have to feel my way for the waistband of his underwear to pull it down too. I can feel the heat radiate from his steaming body. There's a smell of sweat, not the stale, musky kind, but from someone who showers every day and uses fresh clothes for each workout. He's professional and they got staff. I can hear his heavy breath as he is still recovering from the sprint. And I can feel a rather large cock in front of me that is erect, or at least a good way there. I grab it in my hands and guide the tip to my lips and begin to lick it. It doesn't really taste of much. I open my mouth and get more and more of his compression shirt wrapped abs and pecs in my view as I stare into his deep eyes, and take his big cock deeper and deeper into my mouth.
The tip reaches some point at the back of my mouth and I start to gag, making horrendous gurgling noises. I move back from him. "All the way. I want to be balls deep down your throat, cocksucker." I do as he commands, and push it in again, further. It's somehow much easier this time and my lips are tickled by his moist bush of pubes. I then start to work it, in and out, in and out. The noise I'm making is still horrendous. A wet, sloshy sound, and I hate it. "Yeah, you like that, cocksucker. Now, faster." I grab him by the hip and increase the pace. I get lost in the actions, like nothing matters but his cock, the noise, and his eyes.
I don't know for how long I was in a trance, but I feel him tensing up, pulling me tight to him, and shooting a big load of his cum down my throat. Suddenly the gaze that had held me like a vice breaks and he looks at my face rather than into my eyes. The spell is broken. I'm kneeling in a parking lot with Jack Wilson's cock down my throat, and my nose nuzzled into his pubes. His eyes suddenly widen, and his face turns into horror, like he is looking at a monster. Everything is going like in slow motion. I begin to push him away, to get his disgusting cock out of my mouth as he shoots his second load. Somehow in shock I manage to breathe in his cum. He pulls away from me as well, and his third load ends up just next to me on the concrete. "Fuck!" he says, visibly upset. "It's still in the bloodstream. Spit it out! Spit it out!"
I'm not sure I even have any in my mouth to spit out. It just went straight into my belly and into my lungs. Lungs that are desperately trying to cough up his spunky goo in phlegm-filled, deep whoops. "Fuck!" he shouts one last time, pulls up his sweatpants, and runs towards the Stadium building with one hand holding the pants up. I'm just folded over on my knees coughing and coughing while my mind is racing to make sense of what just happened. My chest is burning and I feel nauseated. There is the salty, bitter taste of cum in my mouth and a stench of athlete sweat as I gasp for air in between the coughs. I keep coughing, but less and less of substance is coming up. I spit out specks of Jack's spunk on the concrete in front of me, and realize what she had meant when she said she couldn't help herself. Did he fuck her? After what just happened I wouldn't put anything past Jack, and there is literally nothing I wouldn't forgive her for having done. She would have been helpless to stop.
I can feel my whole body burning as I get up from the concrete. I'm very aware how my clothes rubs against my body, like my senses have just gone into overdrive. Everything, every single muscle in my body feels sore. My head is spinning. Still coughing I stagger towards my car and get in behind the wheels. As I close the door the world goes silent. I can only hear my own exhausted panting. I'm confused about what is happening and feel sick as shit, but at least the world isn't spinning anymore. Somehow I must have been poisoned. What did he mean with "in the bloodstream?"
I start the car and carefully drive from the parking lot and out in the direction of home. Perhaps I shouldn't be driving at all. Crashing while driving is worse than crashing while sitting in a parking lot, but I really don't want to have to call anyone for help. Not after what I've just been through. I so sympathize with the movie cliché of a girl sobbing in the shower. I only want to cleanse myself in any way possible. To get rid of Jack from me. Even now I can feel the smell of athletic sweat, like it was clinging on to me.
There is a big pop accompanied by one of the chest buttons on my shirt shooting off in the car. The pop isn't so much heard as felt, as a reverberation in my body like someone just punched me in the chest, with dull spikes of pain in the joints. I swerve dangerously close to the side of the road. It feels like my shoulders pops into their sockets, like my chest just suddenly expands and the rest of my body catches up. There is no mirror I can look in, but I can clearly see something is off just by looking down at my body. What little movement I can make while driving the car feels different.
There is another big shift. Knees and hip joints this time, I think. I'm a little more prepared to handle that one without swerving, but this time I'm instead missing the brake pedal like the seat is set wrong. I scoot forward on the seat and reach the pedal. Now I'm getting real nervous what is happening. I'm almost home though, but I can feel my thigh muscles involuntarily flexing, my feet are hurting, and my stomach is gurgling like bad plumbing.
Her car is not home yet, thank God. I park mine as calmly as I can, screaming inside that I need to get inside and see what the fuck is going on. As I step out of the car I get a first inkling about the enormity of the changes. I almost trip stepping out of the car, and sit down again on the edge of the seat. The fabric on the trousers are straining, and I realize that my feet are probably hurting because they have swollen up inside the shoes. I try to kick off one of the sneakers, but it's stuck enough that I have to untie them. My movements feel off. It's not that it is hard to move. The opposite in fact, but different somehow. Me feet thanks me in relief as they are freed,
With the shoes off I awkwardly make my way into the house and step into the nearest bathroom. It's me in the mirror, of course, but me 5-10 years younger. I'm touching my face in disbelief. But this isn't just me regressed a decade in time. I was way taller than this then. Curious I unbutton the remaining buttons on my shirt and throw it on the floor. The chest and abs are not me 5-10 years ago. I've never looked this buff before. For one I've never had washboard abs, and the pecs and shoulders are wide and meaty. The arms more slender, though still muscular, and the core is built more for function than aesthetics. A bit too dense for the show off V shape. Dense, with a low center of gravity.
It's the body of a hockey player.
I rip off the straining trousers and the socks. Sure enough, massive leg muscles, big thighs, big ass, big feet. Jack the fucking cheater is a fraud in all areas. Whatever the fuck he is taking must have concentrated in his balls, shot into my lungs, and from there gone straight into my bloodstream to do whatever the fuck it's done to me. And there is nothing I can do to hurt him with it. Who would believe me? This is so far from any science I've heard of.
I take a closer look in the mirror again. Perhaps it isn't all bad after all.
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“He’s the Best.” - 90s!Graham Coxon x Reader
Summary: Graham struggles with his self-esteem within the band and the reader tries to cheer him up.
Requested by: Anon. I hope you like this <3
Warnings: Swearing (literally once).
Word Count: 3.3k - a bit of a longer oneshot from me! I didn’t mean for it to be this long.
A/N: I’ve been writing this and putting it off for days because I just don’t know if I like it, but I don’t want to restart it. Argh… I hope someone enjoys this cheese fest.
* Gif credits to the linked creator
_______________
No one in this life is born ‘better’ than anybody else. It’s not a competition or a game of comparison. Every single human on this planet has their own unique qualities that make them interesting and most importantly, worthy. However, humans sadly aren’t wired to see those qualities in themselves. They spend the majority of their lives obsessing over others; wondering if they’re as talented as the next man, or if they’ll ever look as good as whatshername. Sometimes, it gets to a point where even the deepest of friendships can become strained due to one or more parties comparing themselves to another’s achievements.
And seeing Graham go through exactly that, has been killing me. There was a time when everything Graham and Damon did together, was truly that - together. Every single melody, riff, lyric - it was theirs. Neither one did more work than the other, neither was more musically talented. They were both kids crammed inside a Portakabin with their very first instruments, strumming and plucking and making probably rather bothersome noise. They had no idea what was to become of their lunchtime jam sessions and after school practices. Both were just excited to have a friend that liked the same things as them, and enjoyed the noise the other was making.
But Graham has since become a shadow of who he once was around Damon - he’s become Damon’s shadow. Or so he thinks.
Being in a band with a boisterous frontman like Damon was bound to become hard work for the other members at one point or another, but I never thought it would affect Graham like this. It’s getting harder to communicate with him, and I know it’s not his fault but I’m running out of things to say to fill the silences. There’s only so many times I can ask if he wants a cup of tea, or tell him about the encounter I had at the bus stop earlier that day. I’m sick of hearing my own voice, so I can’t imagine how he must feel. The silence seems to be the only thing he wants; he doesn’t write anymore, he hardly plays guitar outside of work commitments, and he hasn’t picked up his sketchbook in weeks. He just seems to stare at the TV or sit on the sofa with his head buried in a book that’s stuck on the first chapter. I watched him the other day and in forty-five minutes, he turned the page once. I bet if I asked him about the story he wouldn’t be able to recall a single character’s name, never mind the plot.
Watching him struggle with his self-esteem is crushing, and I don’t want him to live another second feeling the way he does. I know it may take a while for him to find himself again, but if I can do anything to help move things along, it’s worth a try. I’d drop everything for Graham in a heartbeat.
“I dropped those music stands off today. Did you get them?” Dave asks, his voice a little crackly on the other end of the phone.
“I did, thank you!” I chime, balancing the phone between my shoulder and ear as I assemble the very same stands.
“Oh, good. I was a little worried about leaving them outside. I thought somebody would take them… What do you need them for anyway?”
“That’s something for me to know and you to find out, Dave.” I laugh, tightening one last knob on the second stand and straightening it out. I stand back and admire my handy work, smiling at the prospect of what they are to become.
“Alright, alright. Well, I hope they come in handy! I’ll see you later.”
“Thanks again. See you next week!”
We both hang up and I grab the stands, climbing up the stairs and into the spare room, placing them in their desired places. Grabbing two pieces of sheet music, I slot them onto the stands neatly and adjust them until they’re perfect. With one last thing to check, I turn on the projector I borrowed from an old university friend and let the film play out on the blank wall opposite. I mess with the sound a little, making sure it’s loud enough before rewinding the footage to the beginning and turning it off until later.
Standing in the middle of the room, I turn around and admire everything on the walls. Everything from lyrics to old album art concepts, to still life paintings from Graham’s time at Goldsmith’s. Beside the music stands, there’s crates filled with records, decorated with lyrics scribbled onto scraps of paper, some in Graham’s handwriting and others in mine. I of course, couldn’t resist writing them out in various colours and covering them in star-shaped stickers. The finishing touch is a large beanbag against the wall for us to sit and watch the projector from. I fluff up the beanbag for the thousandth time before heading downstairs to wait for Graham to get back.
It takes around two hours for Graham to arrive home. As soon as I hear his taxi pull up outside, I jump up from the sofa and head into the kitchen to flick the kettle on. Nerves bubble through me as I anticipate his entry. It’s impossible to predict how Graham’s going to be feeling on any given day. He could come through the door and speak to me as normal, or he could disappear into his studio until he’s tired enough to head to bed. Through the rumbling of the kettle I listen out for the door, fingers impatiently tapping on the counter as my gaze fixates on a magpie outside, shakily balancing on the washing line. A second joins it and I smile, muscle memory taking over as I pour the boiled water into two cups, not taking my eyes off of the birds.
“Hi.” Graham’s voice peeps behind me. Putting the kettle down, I turn around with a warm smile on my face. Despite everything Graham has been going through, seeing him come through that door every day is still my favourite sight. Having him come home to me will simply never get old. I don’t know what I’ll do when he has to go out on tour again in a few months.
“Hey.” I breathe, the sides of my face already beginning to feel sore from the ridiculous grin stuck on it. He smiles back, the expression not quite reaching his eyes but I know he means well. He’s trying. “You go and sit down. I’ll bring these in.” I gesture to the brewing teas on the counter and he nods, hanging his bag on the nearest kitchen chair and leaving the room without another word. I finish the drinks as quickly as possible, grabbing the stack of takeaway menus from the junk drawer and bringing them with me, the pieces of paper clamped between my teeth as I concentrate on carrying the two steaming hot cups in my hands.
Setting the cups down on the coffee table, I toss the menus onto the sofa next to where Graham is very aggressively, trying to pull his Docs off. “Need a little help?” I ask, laughing as I kneel down and bat his hands out of the way. “It would help if you untied them.”
“It’s easier to leave them tied.”
“Oh, really?” I scoff, gesturing to his feet still stuck in the cherry red boots. The laces are a complete mess with three bulky knots in them. I sit down cross-legged on the carpet, carefully plucking and unravelling each knot whilst Graham buries his head in the takeaway menus. “How do you even - “ I struggle, pulling at the frayed shoelace whilst trying not to damage it further, “- get these things on?” With one last tug, the first lace loosens and I’m able to slide the boot off with ease. Graham’s face pops out from behind the menu, a side-smile plastered onto his lips and a cheeky glint in his eyes. I know he wants to laugh.
“Shall we get Indian tonight?” He changes the subject, flipping over the tatty piece of bright orange paper as he squints at the options. He always orders the same thing, yet still insists on reading the whole menu front to back. He does it for every restaurant.
“Indian sounds good.” I nod, pulling the second boot off and shoving them to the side. “I’ll call them now.” Jumping up to grab the phone, I type the number in from memory and hold it up to my ear.
“What’s the rush?” Graham mouths and I hush him when somebody answers. I order the usual along with some extras and give them our address, despite them not even really needing it anymore. The phone call is no longer than a minute and Graham sits staring at me, nose scrunched in confusion. “Are you going to tell me what’s going - “
“Follow me.” I blurt out, stretching my arm towards him and rising onto my tiptoes out of excitement. He stands slowly, shrugging off his jacket and leaving it on the sofa. “I was going to wait until we’d had our food, but I have to show you now.”
“Show me what?” He asks as I grab his wrist and drag him up the stairs. We squeeze up the narrow staircase, almost tripping each other over a couple times until we stop on the landing, feet overlapping one another’s on the small square of carpet.
“I know you haven’t really been yourself lately.” I start, my fingers slipping from Graham’s wrist to entwine with his. He looks down, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth. His eyes watch our hands as I lightly stroke the back of his thumb in an attempt to relax him. He has a habit of tensing up whenever I broach the subject. “So I wanted to remind you just how great you are.”
I watch his face intently, the corners of his mouth twitching and trying to smile. With my free hand, I open the door and flick the light on, pulling Graham into the room with me. His hand slips from my grasp and I back up to stand against the wall, watching as he takes in the room around him and everything in it.
He walks to the music stands first, fingers tracing the notes on the pages, flipping them over then back again. He walks towards the canvas on the back wall - a woodland painting he’d won a prize for back in college - running his hand over the textured patch of paint that forms the trees. I nervously bite the back of my thumb as he kneels down to sift through the records in the large black case below, flicking through every Blur album and single released to this day. My favourite lyrics are scattered on sheets of paper all over the ground, and he picks up the second verse from Coffee & TV. “You’ve always loved this one.” He says, turning to me and smiling.
“I happen to really like the guy who sings it.”
“He must be pretty good then.”
“Oh, he’s the best.” Resting my foot against the wall, I kick my body forward and stand straight, joining Graham beside the projector.
“What’s this for?” He asks, hands hovering near the buttons but not daring to touch anything. I take his hands in mine and give them a loving squeeze.
“Sit down and I’ll show you.” I chirp and he sinks down onto the beanbag. I mess with the projector until the sound starts to creep in, stretching over to switch off the light. Graham shuffles to the side to make some room for me on the beanbag and I flop down beside him, nestling into his side.
The image from the projector is surprisingly clear against the wall, although could’ve been improved had I borrowed a screen from somewhere. A variety of different clips play out in front of us, ranging from Graham performing onstage to snippets of his band members talking and praising their guitarist. I try my hardest to focus on the film in front of me, but I can’t help glancing over at Graham to see his reactions. His brows are furrowed, but not necessarily in a bad way - he’s focused, fully concentrating on everything he’s seeing and hearing.
I fidget with my hands, twiddling my thumbs and quietly cracking my knuckles. Graham notices this and grabs my left hand, squeezing it tightly and bringing it over to rest in his lap. Laying my head on his shoulder, I press a kiss onto his sleeve, rubbing my head against him and breathing in his familiar scent. He lays his head on top of mine, but never looks away from the video playing on the wall. Absentmindedly, his fingertips dance on the back of my hand, the drumming following the beat of Song 2 as it plays from the projector. I too can’t help bopping along to the beat, my foot tapping softly on the carpet.
The video closes with one final clip, a message I recorded for Graham. Too embarrassed to watch myself, my focus stays on him as I squeeze his hand a little tighter and snuggle up as close as possible. The picture begins to fade and the sound plays out until there’s no footage left, and the whirring of the projector becomes background noise in the room. Graham doesn’t say anything at first, but as I try to stand to turn the projector off, he pulls me back down onto the beanbag and rotates his body to face mine.
“Hey.” I whisper, my right hand supporting his cheek as he leans into me, his eyes closed and lips pressed into a line. Our bodies slot into one another’s on the beanbag, the very little space between us growing warmer by the second.
Graham releases a deep breath, his eyes slowly opening again with a small smile spreading across his face. It’s hard to see him properly in the dimly lit room, but I could never mistake those big brown eyes staring at me. “I can’t believe you did all of this for me.” He says, his voice low as he leans in close to speak like we’re the only two people who matter inside a crowded room.
“I wanted to show you how incredible you are. You’ve been so hard on yourself and I just - “ As I speak, tears start to well up in my eyes and I look up to the ceiling to try and stop them from falling. I’d already told myself earlier that I wouldn’t cry, because I don’t want Graham to think he’s upset me. I press at my eyes lightly with my fingertips in an attempt to push the tears away. “I can’t stand seeing you this way because you don’t deserve to feel like this. If it wasn’t for you, Blur wouldn’t exist! Everything you’ve all achieved wouldn’t have happened.” My voice begins to shake and I feel Graham’s hand on my arm, rubbing it gently to try and calm me down.
“Y/N.” He starts, before reaching up to turn on the light. It takes a second for my eyes to adjust, before my gaze falls to the ground to avoid his. If I look at him properly, I know I’ll start bawling. “Look at me. Please.”
“I can’t. I can’t because I’ll cry, and then you’ll get upset and I don’t want to make you feel any worse than wha - “
“You won’t upset me. Y/N, I’m sorry I’ve - “
“No, Graham. Don’t apologise.” I grip onto his shirt tightly, my fingers tangling in the fabric. Graham bows his head and nudges it against mine, edging closer until he pushes my head up with his and our noses are almost touching. We both open our eyes, our faces too close that my vision is distorted and I’m seeing double. I pull back, sniffling once and dabbing at my eyes again, still not allowing any tears to actually emerge.
“I’m sorry,“ he starts and I sigh at his words, but he hushes me by holding his finger up to my face, “for putting you through this. I was so caught up in my own head that I didn’t realise how it was making you feel.”
“Graham, this isn’t about me.”
“But it affects you. Bloody hell, if I had to live with this miserable twat - “ he points to himself and I scoff, slapping the back of his hand playfully. “ - I’d have given up by now.”
“I would never give up on you.” My voice is barely above a whisper, the lump in my throat making it difficult to speak. Graham goes silent again, staring down at our joined hands and moving his thumbs around. I nudge his head with mine in the same way he did previously and he sniffles, his chest rising and immediately falling again. “Graham?” I bring my hand to his chin and push his face up to find his eyes watery, and cheeks significantly more red compared to a moment ago.
“God, look at me. What the hell are you still doing with me, ay? I’m a bleeding mess.” He sniffs, roughly wiping tears off of his cheeks with the backs of his hands.
“Because I wouldn’t want to be with anybody else.”
“Not even - “
“Ah! Stop right there. There’ll be no more of that.” I take his hands away from his face, holding onto them loosely. “Graham Coxon, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. And I’ll give you a free pass to slap me silly for being so cheesy.” I laugh, his grip on my hands tightening as he awkwardly slides closer on the beanbag, his body sinking into it at a strange angle and pulling me with him. “I love you.”
Within a second, Graham’s hands are on both sides of my face, pulling me in for a kiss; the kind of kiss that feels like the person is pouring their entire heart out to you. Like the kiss between the main characters of a movie, when they’ve just ran across a field or a busy road to collide with another at the centre. His lips messily press against mine and I can feel the stray tears running down his face as they dampen my cheeks. My hands rest on his legs, holding on firmly as his thumbs dig into my face a little. It doesn’t hurt, but he soon pulls away and swipes at my face softly as if to apologise for it. He uses his sleeve to dry my face and I do the same for him, small gasps of laughter exchanging between us.
“Thank you for doing this. If you can’t tell, I really love it.” He says sincerely with a genuine smile, the biggest smile I’ve seen from him in weeks. The expression is infectious and I can’t help mimicking him as I grin back like the Cheshire Cat. The faint sound of knocking from downstairs pulls us out of our romance film-esque daydream and we both clamber to our feet.
As we approach the stairs, Graham stops and spins me around, pulling me into him. I land against his chest with a huff, before adjusting my hair and looking up at him. “After we eat, can you show me the film again?” He asks, his hand meeting mine to help me fix the loose hairs falling in my eyes.
“We can watch it as many times as you like.”
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the way I love you // tom holland x reader
a/n: hello my lovelies! it’s been a little while since I posted something, this piece has fully been kicking my butt but she’s finally here and I hope you like her even if she is a little rough around the edges. as always, love to know what you think. also, I will do an official post regarding rules but from here until I close them my * REQUESTS ARE OPEN * my 10th piece of writing (WHAT) is a requested piece that I'm so excited to share with you guys and the lovely human who requested it, so stay tuned for that but in the meantime, sending all the love, and I hope you're all staying safe out there, please enjoy! x
word count: 2.1K
warning: swearing, lil bit of angst if you squint
summary: your best friend tom is helping you move in, but you have a secret and it’s been making things difficult. it’s time to fess up.
The rain thumped against the windows, droplets eagerly chasing each other to the bottom. The wind whistled, branches reaching out as the trees shook. Soft wispy curtains were pulled tight to keep the cold, stormy weather locked outside. Yet the sounds of cars speeding through the flooded roads could still be heard from the storeys above.
The room was almost bare, the orange glow of the streetlights casting warm shadows upon the wooden floorboards. A couple of unopened cardboard boxes were stacked up against one wall.
One section of the room was lowly lit with battery-operated soft, twinkling fairy lights and flickering candles. The floor was decorated with a few cosy blankets and pillows. Half eaten cartons of sushi sat abandoned alongside a takeaway pizza box full of cheesy crusts. A laptop balanced precariously on one of the boxes, movie already playing.
“Happy move-in day,” a voice whispers, just grazing past your ear. You lay on your front on the floor, wrapped up in an exceptionally fluffy blanket.
Your best friend is sat semi cross-legged with his knees up, arms hooked around them, the pair of you only a breath apart.
You turn your head lazily in his direction, unable to hide the grin from your face as he cocks his head, mimicking you with his own cheesy smile - noses almost touching.
“Thanks for helping me out. Have I ever told you that you’re my favourite?”
“Oh, not nearly enough.” He nudges your side, wiggling his eyebrows dramatically. You laugh, causing his face to soften at your expression before you focus your attention back to the small screen.
Tom frowns slightly as you turn away, keeping his eyes on you as he drinks you in slowly. Your hair was almost completely dry from the rainstorm, and had begun curling at the ends and around your hairline, one piece had fallen across your face which he ached to tuck back into place behind your ear. You had a light flush across your cheeks, eyes shining bright as your face slackened, concentrating on the film.
He let out a soft sigh before swallowing, dragging his eyes away from you and back to the movie.
****
It hadn’t taken long for you and tom to gravitate closer to each other, a chill making its way through the apartment as you were yet to install a new heating system. You were tucked into his side, head resting gently against his shoulder, breaths synchronising. You shifted slightly, yet Tom kept a protective arm around you.
A black screen took over the laptop as the credits started rolling. Tom let out a yawn, rubbing his eyes with one hand as he slowly sat up, bringing you with him.
“I better go, it’s late and I have a bunch of meetings tomorrow. Plus you still have unpacking to do…” he teases, collecting some of the empty cartons.
You nod, wrapping the blanket around your shoulders and gathering it around your waist as you hit pause on the laptop. Stretching your body out, you could already feel the twinges in your back from sitting on the hard floor.
The sky had darkened considerably, storm worsening behind the curtains, rain lashing down hard.
You glance across at tom, watching as he steps foot into the kitchen, tiding up the rubbish into a neat pile.
You bite your lip slightly as you give him a once over. His hair was unruly, eager for a styling from Rachel as it attempted to curl against his forehead, and you could see where he’d been running his hands through it all day. You loved how relaxed he looked in your presence, allowing himself to be slightly unkempt and messy. You watched his mouth and eyebrows twitch animatedly as he cleaned up the kitchen, the sleeves of his oversized hoodie rolled up his forearms.
Suddenly he looked up, eyes directly locking with yours and your felt your face flush.
“Stop staring at me you div,” he teased, as his face breaking out into a grin, eyes creasing at the sides, still locked with yours.
“Calm down movie star, you ain’t all that,” you laugh nervously, internally berating yourself for getting caught in a trance as you pick up the rest of the rubbish and join Tom in the kitchen, blanket slouched around your shoulders and trailing behind you.
Truth was, something had changed during the last film Tom had been away filming for. Tiny butterflies would dance in your stomach whenever your phone pinged with a new message or silly photo he’d sent you. You brushed it off at first, thinking you were just missing his company. But by the time he got back, you felt nervous and giddy around him and everything was weird.
It wasn’t until one day you found yourself waking up with a start as he began to infiltrate your dreams when you realised you were feeling very differently for your best friend than you’d ever felt before.
“This place is nice, but I still don’t know why you turned us boys down though? Harrison said he asked before I came back and you said no?” he wondered aloud, miming an arrow through his heart as the pair of you make your way downstairs.
You laugh at his antics but wrap the blanket that little bit tighter around yourself, finding the floor of your building suddenly extremely interesting.
“Don’t tell me you’re sick of us lot already? We’ve been together too long for you to ditch us all now.”
He gives you a little nudge in the arm with his elbow. You took a deep breath, shaking your hair out of your face.
“I’ll still be round all the time. I literally live on the other side of the park,” you laugh as he pouts, “Tom, it’s not even 20 minutes away.”
“Still doesn’t explain why you won’t move in with us?”
You sigh, your frustration building.
“Just leave it,” you snap, adding a quieter “please” after a beat.
There’s a stifling silence as you both walk down the concrete staircase, you twist the mechanical lock on the front door and wait for the buzz as it clicks and opens up to the world outside.
Tom whistles at the torrential storm as he steps outside, trees were bending over, leaves billowing in the wind. The steps up to the building were gathering puddles of water and you could already see the road ahead was beginning to flood.
“Oh my god.”
The pair of you quickly throw the trash into the bin that was sitting at the bottom of some basement level steps.
“Listen, but I only ask because...it’s just, you’ve been a bit off since I came back from Atlanta. if it wasn’t for Harrison telling me he couldn’t make it today, you wouldn’t have even asked me to help you move in? What’s up with that?” he asks, standing behind you, shielding you from as much of the rain as he could.
“I just thought you’d be busy, y’know. What with being away for so long.”
“And? It’s not like that’s ever stopped you before. Seriously though, did I do something wrong? Did the boys? Because you can tell me.”
“Tom it’s nothing. Seriously, quit it.” Avoiding his stare, you shake your head and turn on your heel in an attempt to push the door back open but it stays firmly shut. You twist the handle multiple times as it jangles in response, remaining firmly locked. You freeze in immediate panic, feeling your pockets for your keys which were still sitting on your kitchen counter.
“Oh my god, no. No fucking way.”
“What? What is it?” He reaches a hand over your shoulder and gives the door a shove, “Is it stuck?”
“No tom, it’s locked! The wind must’ve closed it! I’ve left my apartment open and the keys are on the kitch – fuck! I’m such an idiot.”
“Hey it’s fine. Calm down. Hey, maybe if you lived with us we wouldn’t be having this problem…” he joked, pulling off his hoodie as thunder rumbled in the distance, the rain bouncing down onto the two of you.
“Now is really not the time Tom!” You exclaim, feeling your heart-rate spike, anxious about being locked out on your very first day living alone.
“Would you calm down, we’ll sort it. Your doors just unlocked, it’s not like you left it wide open.”
“If you hadn’t been asking so many stupid questions, I wouldn’t have forgotten my keys in the first place!”
“Really?! You’re blaming me for caring about you? Alright listen, I just wanted to know what’s going on with you. I know you, and I know when something’s wrong! Why won't you just tell me?!”
“Oh my god, fine! You want to know so badly? It’s you, okay!” You shout, whirling around now standing chest to chest, you could feel your eyes burning with the tears you were fighting back, “You’re the reason I can’t move in with you guys! Because I hoped that this feeling would go away. If I avoided you it would go away and things would be normal and nothing would change. But that’s not the case!” You gulped in a breath, refusing to look into the deep brown eyes that were staring at you, so wide and confused, “That’s not the case, because every time I’m with you I feel like my heart is going to beat straight out of my chest. I get these stupid knots in my stomach whenever you so much as send me a fucking text. Sitting together in there side by side, alone together, casually watching a film and all I can think about is god, I wish he’d just kiss me! I don’t want to fall in love with you because this,” you gesture between the two of you, “what we are, it’ll all be gone and I’ll have ruined everything. And I can’t Tom. I can’t deal with that. So, there you go. I’m in love with you, and I hate myself for it. So, what? Are you happy now?! Does that clear everything up for you!”
Tom froze.
Your chest heaves, the tears that you let fall mixing in with the rain, leaving you sniffling. You push your soaking wet hair out of your face, roughly wiping your cheeks as you turn and hit the buzzer for the apartment block, banging your fist on the main door.
“C’mon!”
Tom stood silently, still frozen outside your apartment entrance, the rain so heavy it was bouncing off of his clothes. His curls were flattened, droplets dripping from his hair, his nose, his eyelashes. his t-shirt was already drenched by the rain, fabric clinging to his frame. He blinks, once, twice then once more, his jaw unclenching.
He reaches forwards, fingertips lightly caressing your hand, his featherlight touch pulsating through your entire body.
You tear your hand away from him, a gasp letting loose, “Don’t.”
He perseveres, pulling you round, more forcefully this time until you are nose to nose again.
Your body shivers in the cold, wet air as you stare at the ground. Tom’s firm grip around your wrists.
“Look at me,” he says, his voice soft and gentle.
You squeeze your eyes shut, shaking your head as you exhale breathily.
He lets go of you, your hands curled into small fists at your sides, nails digging into your palms.
One hand lifts your chin to his level, his thumb softly collecting the mixture of tears and rain from beneath your eyes and brushing them away.
“I wish you’d just told me. It would’ve saved you all this hurt.”
His left hand comes up and tucks the soaking wet pieces of hair that has been whipping around your face in the wind gently behind your ear. Stroking the stray strands.
Your teary, glistening eyes connect with his. They were alive with such care and concern. Before you knew it, that feeling was back in the pit of your stomach, pulling and twisting in knots as you stared into the eyes of the boy you loved.
You blinked, eyelashes fluttering when all of a sudden, the hand that had brushed your tears away cradles the side of your head, bringing your faces together, the other hand lightly fluttering to your waist, pulling you in closer.
The rain continued to fall, the two of you completely oblivious as your lips brush, foreheads pressed together. It’s soft and slow, almost uncertain at first before immediately intensifying, the two of you pushing your bodies against each other. You take a breath as he strokes your cheek and your lips with his thumb, pulling you back in for another gentle kiss with a hand to the back of your head, tangling in your soaking hair as he presses your faces closer together.
The pair of you pull away, both your chests heaving as you exhale.
“Why did you do that?” you ask, voice raspy.
“Because. that’s the way I love you. Not just as a friend. And for years, I sat on it, too scared to ruin what we have.”
You shake your head, as a couple of bubbles of laughter spill from your lips. Tom’s face brightens up quickly, those little creases that you loved so much appearing at the outward corners of his eyes as he whispered, “C’mere. I got you.”
He pulled you in, your arms immediately wrapping around his waist, his body cold under your hands. You could hear and feel his heartbeat, still in perfect time with your own. He tucked his chin so it was resting atop your head. His arm hadn’t moved, still cradling the back of your head, pressing you ever so carefully into his chest, the two of you just resting in each others embrace as the rain eased up slightly around you.
There was a beat, as you both relaxed into each other.
“So, I'm glad we solved one problem, but you do know we’re still locked out, right?” Tom says as the pair of you burst out laughing.
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Father Knows Best-Thomas Shelby x Shelby!Daughter!Reader
(GIF credit to @devileyedbanana)
Masterlist
Tags: @captivatedbycillianmurphy @jenepleurepasbaby @amirahiddleston @bloodorangemoonlight @haphazardhufflepuff @mzcrazy2
Requested by anonymous: ‘Can I request a Tommy x daughter angst one shot where she falls in love with a rival gangster and Tommy asks her to choose, and she chooses her love but then he turns out to be violent and Tommy comes and saves her.’
Characters: Thomas Shelby x Shelby!Daughter!Reader, Finn Shelby x Shelby!Reader (Uncle)
Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name
Warnings: Alcohol, being drunk, swearing, mentions of a sexual nature, family arguments, domestic abuse, weaponry, fluff
(A/N: Matthew is a made up character, AND THIS IS MUCH LONGER THAN I ANTICIPATED)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I covered my mouth as I giggled uncontrollably, Matthew was shushing me despite chuckling himself. We held onto each other as we stumbled out of the club, our feet aching from all the dancing we had done, struggling to walk in a straight line due to the drinks. As we stood up straight, swaying slightly from the alcohol, Matthew took me in his arms, kissing me sloppily. Neither of us were anywhere near sober.
“You’re so beautiful.” he breathed out, going in for another kiss.
I smiled into it, gripping onto his coat for support.“Tonight was amazing. I don’t want it to end.”
“It doesn’t have to.”
I groaned.“It does though. You know I’m already past my curfew.”
“Your dad should be happy that you’re out making friends.”
“You don’t know anything about my dad then.”
We hesitated to start the walk home, though both knew that Matthew wouldn’t receive the best welcome if he got me back any later. I was in trouble now anyway, but I didn’t care what any of my family thought. Time flew by too quickly when I was with Matthew, it was as if we never had enough of each other. And I wasn’t stupid, my father definitely knew about us. As leader of the Peaky Blinders, he had eyes everywhere, and if he wanted his men to follow me, they would. I had spotted several of them just tonight, but I didn’t care.
Seeing as these men would be reporting back to my dad as soon as the night was over, I didn’t want to wake up to a lecture from him. Instead, I decided to head to my uncle’s house. Finn had given me an extra key, just in case, and we were extremely close in age, he understood what I was going through; he also wasn’t allowed to do anything dangerous, let alone be involved in any plans, even tough he tried.
“You sure your uncle won’t let me in? You can try to be quiet.” Matthew whispered as I stood outside of Finn’s house.
I scoffed at him.“I can be quiet!”
“Well I have yet to experience that.”
“He won’t let you in. I’m sorry Matthew.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’ll see you in the next few days?”
“Of course you will.”
We slowly kissed, hands still wrapped around each other. It was always so difficult to let him go. This time, Matthew was the one to pull away, gently kissing me on the forehead before leaving. I watched him leave until I couldn’t see him before unlocking the door. Although I had been incredibly quiet, I heard a thud, someone (my uncle) was fumbling around, thinking an intruder was here. He had a gun in his hands as he whipped open his bedroom door. The panic in his face was replaced with annoyance.
“For fucks sake (Y/N), what do you think you’re doing?” he sighed, rubbing his eyes.
“Um, coming in from a great night out?” I said, chuckling to myself as I walked into a chair.
“Oh good, you’re drunk. Why didn’t you get the driver to take you back to your house?”
“Because I don’t want to deal with dad. You know he’s awake too, he would shout at me as soon as I stepped foot in the door.”
Finn rolled his eyes.“You were with that prick weren’t you?”
“His name is Matthew and he’s not a prick. He’s my boyfriend. And I know that dad knows about him.”
“You should really stay away from him. He doesn’t come from a good family. We’re in the same circles (Y/N), people tell me things.”
I groaned.“Urgh, I didn’t come here to get told off by someone who is literally two years older than me. I’m going to bed. Feel free to call my dad, tell him I’m fine and that I had a good time, cause I know he won’t ask that.”
“What do you mean?”
“As soon as you call, or he calls you, the first question will be, ‘who was she with?’. Yeah, my dad really cares for me.”
Even though I slept late into the afternoon, I still didn’t feel rested. My head was pounding, I felt as if I would be sick every time I moved, and my feet throbbed, so all in all, signs of a great night out. As I shuffled into the kitchen, Finn was sat at the table, arms crossed and staring at me. Oh no, he was not going to act like a saint right now.
“I’m not dealing with you right now Finn.” I said as I poured myself a cup of tea.
“Tommy’s coming to get you in an hour. Make sure you’re ready.”
I mockingly saluted him.“Yes sir!”
“Come off it (Y/N). I don’t get why you act like this. Sometimes you’re really sweet, other times you’re...”
“Go on, get it out of your system.”
“You can be a bitch.”
“Look, I understand what you’re saying.” I sat down across from him.“But dad really hasn’t paid much attention to me recently. He doesn’t even greet me when I come down for breakfast. I know he’s got a lot on his plate, and it’s a big plate, but lately he’s been really harsh on me.”
“It’s because of Matthew.”
“He’s going to have to drop that soon. I get that I’m his only daughter so he’s overprotective, and because I’m a Shelby, but he doesn’t have to worry.”
“That’s the thing (Y/N). This Matthew has made him worry even more.”
“Why? Because it’s my first serious boyfriend?”
“No because...look, what I tell you now, you can’t say a word of it to anyone else, do you understand?”
“Finn-”
“Do you understand?”
I hesitated, but nodded, my curiosity getting the better of me.
“Matthew is....he’s part of a rival gang.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.“I get you don’t want me to date him, but that’s ridiculous.”
“(Y/N), I’m being deadly serious.”
“No he’s not. I’ve met his family, they’re sweethearts.”
“Because they want you to trust them.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“I’m not trying to piss you off, or make up something so you break up with him. He’s dangerous (Y/N), it’s all one big trap. They get Thomas Shelby’s daughter and they can bargain for anything.”
“Wouldn’t it be less hassle to just kidnap me? What if I didn’t fall for Matthew, what would they do then?”
“That’s not the point-”
“No, there is no point to this, at all Finn.”
“(Y/N), please, I’m trying to look out for you.”
“I’m going to get ready. I need to look decent for dad.”
Part of a rival gang? Pathetic. It wasn't even an interesting story. Yes, Matthew was a little wild, he brought out the party girl in me, but I was having fun! As long as he wasn't harming me, nor were we harming anyone else in the process, I saw no flaws with our relationship. We also had our downtime moments, times where we could lie down in each others arms, hint at our futures. Apparently not everyone could see that.
There was a knock at the door, and I sighed to myself, knowing my time of hiding was over. Luckily dressed, looking pretty decent after the night before, I took time walking out of the spare room, hearing some mumbling before I even saw my dad. Although he never showed much emotion anyway, I could tell he wasn't happy, staring me down as I approached him in last night's clothes.
"Morning dad." I greeted him kindly, hoping we would have this conversation away from Finn.
Dad looked at Finn in disbelief, then back to me."Morning? Fucking good morning?"
"Dad-"
"Get in the car."
I obeyed his order but not before saying goodbye to Finn."Thanks for letting me stay."
He just nodded to me, awkwardly waiting by the door as I followed dad outside. I kept up with his usual long strides, bracing myself for what could end up as a screaming match. Thinking about it, I never argued much with dad, but when we did, it was over serious topics, never anything petty. I loved him dearly, he always looked out for me, gave me anything I wanted, ensured that I had a good life he never had growing up. So the guilt growing inside of me was huge, but my stubbornness was strong. I was an adult now, I was allowed to make these decisions.
Surprisingly, there was no driver for us. I slipped into the passenger seat, both of us remaining silent as dad started the drive. I watched the streets of Small Heath pass by, the regulars of the city slowly making their way to work, dirty from the shift the day before, probably drunk to keep themselves warm. It was a sad, poor place sometimes.
"Are we going to talk?" I mumbled, putting my focus on him.
He sighed loudly through his nose."Are you going to listen?"
"Please can we not be malicious about this?"
"Why didn't you just come home last night? Any bar would have let you use a phone, they know who you are."
"Because I didn't want the hassle. And I stayed at Finn's, so I don't understand why you're so angry?"
"You were with that boy."
"Dad, when will you just accept that I'm twenty one and I'm allowed to see people?"
"It's not that. If you had found someone who wasn't trouble-"
"Matthew isn't trouble."
"You don't know everything (Y/N)."
"Oh, don't tell me, he's part of rival gang, right?"
Dad's eyes widened as his head snapped towards me, his gaze flickering between me and the road."You what?"
"Finn told me."
Dad groaned, putting all of his concentration back on the road."Told him to keep his mouth shut. Neither of you seem to be able to follow orders."
I rolled my eyes.
"I saw that."
"Look, I'm sorry for not at least calling last night, I know that was wrong."
Dad was silent.
"But I really like Matthew. I don't want you to scare him away, or make up ridiculous stories about him."
"Stories eh? That's what you think they are?"
"I know they are."
Suddenly, dad put his foot down, making us go faster than I liked. He ignored my pleas for him to go slower, somehow not swerving off of the country roads that lead to our house. He was driving at this speed for far too long, skidding on the gravel as we braked in front of the house. Dad hastily got out of the car, whereas I needed a second to get my breath back. He was already walking through the front door by the time I was shakily getting out of the car, stumbling in my heels across the gravel.
I called after him but he wouldn't listen. Storming towards his office, he flung open the doors, not even flinching when they whacked into the walls. Quickly following, I watched his manic actions, shuffling through paper work and slapping down files onto the desk.
"There's your story." he said, pointing at them.
Hesitantly I walked towards him, scanning my eyes over his evidence. There were pictures, reports, files containing personal information. I focused more on the parts about Matthew, reading things such as where he was born, where he had lived, the schools he attended....and none of them matched with what he had told me. There was a portrait picture of him, I didn't know where dad got it from, and another photo slipped out from under it as I picked it up. Only this time, it was a mugshot.
"So, do you still think we're lying?" dad said.
"I...I..." I was speechless.
"You know that everything I do, I do for you. You're my daughter, it's my job to protect you. You need to stay away from that man."
"Why wouldn't he tell me?"
"Did you really just ask that?"
"We've talked about everything. He didn't even hint at it." I was talking to myself at this point."I met his family. Why would they go through all of that? Host that dinner, make me welcome, say such nice things?"
"I didn't take you to be stupid (Y/N)."
"I know what it sounds like. But dad, Matthew wouldn't lie to me-"
"HE'S USING YOU!" he screamed at me."You're a fucking Shelby, you're the daughter of Thomas Shelby, you have a huge target on your head! It's an easy way to get to me, and to find out secrets about us!"
My mouth dropped open in shock."I would never tell him anything they he wasn't supposed to know!"
"Wouldn't you? He seems to have a hold on you, and it's scaring me. I've never seen you like this."
"That 'hold' you're on about is called love! Not that you would know anything about that, seeing as my mother was a whore!"
"Don't you dare speak to me like that!"
"It wouldn't be a surprise would it, if I ended up with a fucked up relationship? Because I had oh such a great example from you. Fucks a random woman, she knows who he is, so she dumps the baby on him, hoping he won't give her away to an orphanage."
"Stop changing the conversation. We are talking about how we get you away Matthew."
“You’re not going to.”
“(Y/N)-”
“I’ve been with him for months, why is this now just coming out? How long have you known about this?”
He didn’t have to say anything but I still got my answer.
“Ah.” I scoffed a laugh.“You have known about this. And for some reason, you have’t decided to mention this.”
“It was for-”
“I’m going to stop you right there. Dad, I am going to speak to Matthew about this.”
“You will not go near him.”
“Yes I will. I’m going to get the truth, right now.”
My words escaped me before I could really think about them. I was already walking away from him, back out to the front door. Opening a cabinet, I searched through the keys for any car, any vehicle that would get me far away from here.
“I’m having someone follow you.” dad informed me.
“I know.”
“You’re stepping into enemy territory.”
“We’re not in the war anymore dad. And you’re not a soldier.”
I finally found the right key, heading towards the only car I had ever driven. Making my way to the garage, I ignored my dad, not even looking at him. I definitely felt guilty for what I had said, and what I was about to do. But I needed to do this myself, I needed to speak to Matthew without the pressure of anyone else.
I was not a good driver. Everyone was safe whilst I was driving, I just wasn’t very fast or great with spacial awareness. In my head, I had expected to be racing to Matthew’s, getting to his in record time. This had ruined my fantasy. Once I did reach his house, I slowly lined up the car with the path, wincing when I bumped into the curb; thank god no one was around to see that.
“(Y/N)?” I heard Matthew call me as I got out of the car. He was approaching me down the pathway of his house.
“Matthew, I need to speak with you, urgently.” I rushed out, pushing him back towards his home.
“Woah, wait, wait. What’s happened? Why are you in last nights clothes?”
“Just get inside.”
By looking at his house, you could tell he was well off. It was in a nicer neighbourhood, it was separate from the other houses and had multiple rooms. I asked him if anyone else was home, and when he said no, I was relieved. We didn’t want them getting involved, and I felt like shouting if this went wrong.
“You’re worrying me (Y/N).” Matthew said.
“Oh, are you worried about me?” I sarcastically said.
“(Y/N), can you just tell me what’s going on?!”
“Are you part of a rival gang against the Peaky Blinders?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“What makes you say something like that?”
“My family told me.”
“What makes them think that?”
“Matthew, I’ve seen the evidence. I didn’t admit it to my dad, but I believed him. I’ve seen your real information. You’ve lied to me about a lot of things. And why do you have a fucking mugshot?”
He exhaled through his nose, looking away from me for a few seconds.“I can’t lie anymore.”
“You shouldn’t have in the first place!”
He held up his hands in defence.“Alright, alright, let’s just use our inside voices. I’ll explain everything to you.”
Matthew directed me to his front room, sitting beside me, and although I initially wanted to shuffle away from him, I couldn’t bring myself to do it; especially when he took my hands in his, resting them on his lap. He wasn’t afraid to look me in the eyes, perhaps a sign of him about to tell the truth.
“(Y/N), your family is right. I am part of a company that rivals yours-”
I tried pulling my hands away, but he gripped onto me tightly.
“-but we would never cause any harm. We are only rivals in business. There is no bloodshed, no injuries, no deaths. The only thing we fight over are numbers.”
“That still doesn’t explain everything.”
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know if you already knew who I was. You know how it feels to have everyone already judge you based on a name.”
“Don’t use that against me.”
“I’m not. I’m trying to connect with you on this. The mugshot is from a brawl we had with a couple of ex-employees, they wanted to expose us with lies. Unfortunately we were typical men, and apparently that was the only way we thought to solve it. The police were called and I spent a night in a cell, but I was released the next morning.”
“That’s it?”
He nodded.
“You promise?”
“I promise. And my family have not been plotting anything like your father thinks they have. Of course, they had an idea when I told them about you, you know, to ‘unite’ our families to stop the feud. Obviously that was ridiculous because fights don’t just end like that. But when I brought you to them, it was because I was proud of you, I wanted to show them the amazing woman I had found and fell in love with.”
“Love?”
“Yes. I love you (Y/N).”
“I love you too Matthew. I’m sorry for attacking you with all these questions. But even if I tried to convince my dad that he was wrong, he wouldn’t believe me. I’m scared he’s going to try and separate us.”
“Then live with me!”
“What? No I couldn’t do that to you-”
“Of course you can! You’ve seen this house, there’s plenty of room, my family loves you, it would be perfect! And...” he leaned in closer to me, whispering in my ear,“they’re hardly here, so we would have a lot of alone time.”
Although my heart jumped at the thought of living with Matthew, being able to see him everyday, spending every moment with him, I also dreaded telling my dad. I was old enough to make my own decision though. I could move in with Matthew if I wanted, what was stopping me? I believed everything he said, he had an explanation for everything. If Matthew was in a rival gang, using me for their own purpose, wouldn’t he just threaten me or kidnap me when I confronted him? It all seemed like too much effort.
All of that information dad accumulated must have been biased, especially if our families were rival companies. Although I was leaning more towards staying with Matthew, I didn’t want to lose my dad. I would have to be an idiot to believe that he would let me leave home with a man he didn’t like, but on the other hand, I was at the age where I could do what I wanted. Just because I had the last name Shelby didn’t mean I was going to be trapped by it.
There had been a lot of back and forth that day, both emotionally and physically. But here I was once again arguing with my dad. Stupidly, I had let Matthew come along (he was very persuasive), though he stayed in the car. Set on convincing him to let me leave with Matthew, we shouted at each other, screaming our opinions. He didn’t believe a word I said. Tears streamed down my face as I grew more frustrated, pleading him to listen, to give Matthew another chance.
“I don’t know why I’m bothering to ask! I could have left without asking, without even telling you. But I did it out of respect for you.” I suddenly exclaimed.
Dad stopped shouting for a moment, heavily breathing.“Fine. Go then. If you’re so grown up, pack your bags and move onto the next part of your life. I just hope for your sake that I’m wrong.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I had never felt such conflict in my heart before. The first month of moving away was extremely hard, I cried most nights in Matthew’s arms. I had loathed every moment of collecting my belongings from dad’s house, saying goodbye to my family because I wouldn’t be seeing them as much as I was used to. They thought the same as dad, all had tried to convince me to stay. But Matthew was always by my side, reassuring me that we could start our own life now, not forgetting our old ones of course, but creating a new one.
And oh, how quickly things changed.
Three months, three months of pure bliss. I was living with my boyfriend, having the joy of seeing him everyday when he came home from work, eating meals with him, sleeping beside him, not having to arrange weeks in advance when to next see each other. Matthew had even started talking more about our future, hinting at marriage, finding our own home to live in. It excited me. I was growing up, doing all the things a person should do. Perhaps this would show dad that I was happy, that he was wrong about those rumours, and I could finally see him again. I missed him so much.
It was like binding a contract with the devil. Once that engagement ring was slipped on my finger, my whole world was flipped. Matthew started staying out late. I knew he wasn’t going out drinking, he didn’t smell of alcohol when he returned, neither could he be cheating because I never caught a whiff of perfume, or found a hair on his jacket, or even see him come home disgruntled; he was just as immaculate as he had been leaving. Sometimes him, his father, his brother and uncle would come home, immediately gathering in the front room and slamming the door shut. They would be in there for hours, deep in conversation. And that scared me, because it reminded me of my family whenever they were scheming.
“Matthew?” I had mumbled late one night, disturbed from my sleep when he opened the bedroom door.
“Go to sleep.” it was an order, no note of sympathy in his voice.
I watched him undress.“Are you alright? I heard you arguing downstairs.”
“What did I just say?” I had never seen someones head snap around so quickly.
“I’m sorry,” I didn’t know why I was apologising,“I just wanted to make sure you weren’t upset.”
“I am now.”
“Why?”
“Because of you! Asking me all these questions! I thought you were smart.” he made a show of collapsing into a chair, starting to untie his shoelaces.
I sat up.“Matthew, there’s obviously something wrong. You know you can tell me-”
He suddenly threw his shoe against the floor, but for a split second I thought it was aimed at me.“Just go to sleep (Y/N)!”
I was scared to move, thinking I would somehow do something else wrong. But when he continued to stare at me, I slowly slipped back under the covers, clinging them close to me, trying to steady my breathing to hide how much I wanted to cry. I listened to Matthew get ready for bed, the silence making me more nervous. He climbed into bed, shuffling towards me. I flinched as he wrapped an arm around me, his body pressed up against the back of mine. Who was this person? What made him act like this?
“I’m sorry darling.” he whispered in my ear.
But I didn’t feel comforted by that, or feel like I should give him forgiveness. And I realised it wouldn’t have even mattered if I did, because it kept on happening.
Smaller things started to annoy him. I would simply ask him what he was doing with his day, and receive an eye roll. He would question why I was wearing a specific outfit, who was I wearing it for? His family would try to interrogate every detail about me, and it was suspicious from the beginning. I wasn’t receiving questions such as ‘How many siblings do you have?’, ‘Do your family get on well?’, ‘Where do they live?’; I wondered if it was because everyone knew about the Peaky Blinders, but it was getting too personal. I had been an idiot to become trapped by this man, however, I wasn’t going to let them use me against my family.
Some days I didn’t know how much I could take of Matthew. I was walking on egg shells around him. I quickly learnt what not to say or ask, how the tone of my voice should be, how I should look. It didn’t matter how many times he was sweet to me, apologised, bought me presents, I didn’t recognise the man I had wanted to marry. His hand held mine tighter, his grip on my waist hurt, and our intimate moments together...everything hurt me, and he didn’t care.
“Writing a letter to a friend?” Matthew startled me from the doorway of our room.
My head whipped around to see him standing there, casually leaning against the door frame.“Yes.” I quickly replied.“Well, it’s for my aunt, Ada.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m asking how Karl is. He’s growing up so fast.”
“Mention anything about me?”
“Of course.”
“Can I read it?”
I handed him the letter, hiding my nerves. He read through it, no expression at first until he looked at me, smirking to himself. That wasn’t a good sign.
“(Y/N), my father was in the war. He’s told me about how they got secret messages out of the trenches.” he smugly said, walking towards a set of drawers and opening the top one. He pulled out a pile of letters, the envelopes opened, and the handwriting was mine.“Being Thomas Shelby’s daughter, I had expected more from you.”
“You’ve lied to me this whole time.” I shuddered at the thought of him reading my letters, begging for someone to help me escape.
“No, I haven’t.”
“You said you were only rivals in business!”I leapt up from my chair.“I fought my family to be with you! I am such a fucking idiot!”
“Isn’t that what we are? A business at the end of the day? Look, you’re here now. We’re happy. I can make us happier once we receive our upcoming bonus.”
“What bonus?”
“The bonus of having the Shelby Company all to ourselves.”
My eyes widened, screeching out as I lunged for him. I landed a good punch to his face, but due to his size and strength, he managed to grab my attacking arms.
“Stop now (Y/N), before you get hurt.”
That was a threat from him, not a concern I may harm myself. But for once I didn’t care. They were going after my family, I would take all the beatings for them.
“You’re a fucking liar! A cruel, terrible, waste of space!” I screamed, pulling myself away from him.“I vowed to never become one of those poor women who had to live this life. You were in my head, and I’ll admit it, you were convincing, but I know who you really are. You’re all a bunch of sad men who feel that they need to murder, threaten and mock anyone in order to make them feel better. You’ll never be as powerful as my dad, it just won’t happen.”
“You’ve grown naive. I did like you (Y/N), once I got a good look at you, I wasn’t angry about the plan of marrying you anymore. And I’ll admit, you’re an interesting woman, easy on the eye which helps. And how loyal you were, standing beside me in everything. Don’t be upset (Y/N), we don’t want any blood on our hands, as long as your family are cooperative. And think, you will be in charge with me once they’re gone.”
“Gone? What do you think you’re going to do with my family?!”
“Nothing. We have a meeting tomorrow, you’ll be coming, and you will convince them to hand it all over to us.”
“I won’t.”
“That wasn’t a request.” he opened one side of his blazer jacket, revealing his gun.
“I would rather die than go against them.”
“You’ve done that already. And I would rather keep your brains inside your head.”
The next morning felt colder, more bitter than it usually did here; there was even a low fog creating a tense atmosphere. Although I didn’t want to comply with Matthew, I knew I had to go to this meeting if I wanted a chance of seeing my family and keeping them alive. Running on adrenaline and anxiety alone, I forced myself to get out of bed, having to get changed under the watch of the man I thought I knew. As I did my hair in the mirror, I had a sudden realisation that I wasn’t me anymore. I looked older, years older even, even though I had only been engaged to this monster for a few months. My skin felt...unusual, not right, it didn’t feel clean. The bags under my eyes seemed to droop more and more every day, as if they were dragging down my eyes with them, and my lips were missing the feeling of a genuine smile.
Matthew kept a hand on my back as we walked downstairs, his family waiting for us. I wasn’t scared to glare at them. They weren’t going to kill me, not yet anyway. I still had some time to live, and I was going to despise them every second. They talked as if I wasn’t there, checking their weapons and the plan. Matthew had managed to confiscate my gun, I was left with my fists.
I was in the middle of the group as we made our way to the meeting point. I knew the area now, we were headed to the back of a factory. There was a lot of noise from the machines, no one would be walking around because they would be working, and Matthew’s family had a very good deal going on with the owner; they pay him large amounts of money to keep quiet, he takes that on top of his rich salary already and keeps quiet.
As we rounded the corner, my heart dropped when I saw just my dad standing there. Out of instinct, I started to hastily move towards him until Matthew grabbed me, gripping onto my arms to keep me in place. I felt like a little girl again, scared and needing her dad to come save her. Although dad was expressionless most of the time, I was worried that he thought I was neglecting them all these months, when really, Matthew had stopped any contact between us.
“Mr Thomas Shelby, when I said about meeting, I didn’t think it would be just yourself.” Matthew’s dad started.“But that’s fine, you’re the only one we want to speak with anyway.”
“A business meeting outside, eh?” dad said.“Why do I think this is heading in another direction?”
“Let’s just get to the point, yes? You know what we want, we’re not going to stop till we get it.”
“Of course.” dad didn’t seem bothered.
“And we’re serious. But don’t worry, there will still be a Shelby within the business once you pass it over.”
Matthew urged me forward, staying very close behind.“Dad, I’ve been trying to contact you but they wouldn’t let me! I-”
“Shut up. That’s not important.” Matthew snapped at me.
“Don’t talk to her that way.” dad lowly said, and I recognised the warning in his voice.
Matthew wasn’t bothered.“She does as she’s told.”
“I fucking don’t!”
I stamped on his foot with my heel, quickly getting out of his grip and turning around, managing to knee him in the head as he doubled over. Another gang member pulled me away, and I didn’t know whether he was ordered to or not, but he held a gun to my temple, his arm in a choke hold around my neck. I had tried, but it was too risky to do anything when my dad and I were clearly outnumbered.
Despite that, dad pulled out his own gun, aiming it at the man.“Let her go.”
Matthew’s dad laughed.“I know you’ll have some of your people hiding around here somewhere. But you’ve seen the weapons we carry today, and how many of us there are. You are under prepared.”
Dad was still for a moment, suddenly whistling. I saw the men around me tense, wondering what my dad could be summoning. As expected, more men started to appear around my dad, a much larger group, some even rounding around the back so that we were surrounded. They all held weapons of some sort; guns, knives, knuckle dusters, anything of the sort. Matthew’s dad tried to not look effected, though you could tell he was shitting himself.
“What were you saying about no bloodshed?" I smugly said to Matthew.
He frowned at me, taking me out of the man's arms and throwing me to the floor. He got out his own gun, once again placing it on my temple.
"I don't want to shoot her. But I will if you don't go through with our deal." he stated.
My hands were scraped, blood already trickling onto the ground. But I didn't moan, I didn't complain, worried that one slight move would set him off and he would shoot.
"You will put down your weapons, give me back my daughter, turn around, and walk away." dad said."We don't want to start a war between us. Look at my men, now look at yours. You will lose, and you will lose your lives along with it."
"How dare you threaten us-"
Matthew's dad interrupted."Shut up Matthew! This doesn’t mean you’ve won Shelby.”
Dad didn’t reply, lowering his gun but the others kept their weapons on display. Matthew’s dad was waiting for a reply, and when he didn’t get one, he sharply turned away. Matthew was shocked, glancing between me and him as he wondered what to do. Although I was desperate to run to dad, I slowly made a move to stand. Matthew kept his eyes glued on me. I slid off my beautiful engagement ring, now despising it, holding it up in front of his face, and letting it drop to the ground.
“In case you were wondering, the wedding is off.” I spat, instantly turning on my heel.
My body broke out into a sprint, throwing my arms around my dad’s neck as I burst into tears. My legs went weak as he clung onto me, reassuring me that I was safe now, I wouldn’t be hurt any longer. How could I have done such a thing? I turned my back on my family for a man I should have known more about. I had to face it, I was a Shelby, and it was going to be difficult to find someone who wanted me for me, not my name.
“I’m so sorry dad!” I sobbed.“Please forgive me! I don’t want to be hated by you forever. I need you. I love you!”
He calmly shushed me, as if I was a baby again.“It’s alright, it’s alright (Y/N). I’ve got you now. You’re my daughter, I would never hate you.”
“I’m sorry! I won’t ever leave you again.”
“Come on, let’s go home, eh?”
“Please.”
“You’re my family, you always will be. I’m always going to protect you (Y/N), always.”
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