#( liiiies )

[yuri-is-online]

NENEPAPA

My hetalia phase is coming RUSHING back to me right now I remember the fanfiction I wrote when I was 12 Prussia was and still is the best characteri shipped so many rairpais holy fuck-

WHY IS IT ALWAYS PRUSSIA I STG EVERY TIME I BITE THE BULLET AND SAY THE NAME HETALIA THAT FUCKER GETS BROUGHT UP-

Anyway yeah I'm so sorry for activating people's sleeper cells with that admission. I can still sing that specific theme for some god forsaken reason.

#<3 asks #draw a circle there's the earth draw a circle there's the earth draw a circle there's the earth #i am hetalia or italy or whatever blah blah blah toast with our boots #heee taaaa liiii aaaa #i can't remember what my favorite character was

[tarteggs]

my roommate has informed me that if i post out of touch thursdays then she can have her teresa teng tuesdays

#she has been carefully curating a teresa teng playlist all day #anyways. i have had tian mi mi stuck in my head for the past three hours #zaaaaiii naaaa liiii…zai na li jian guo ni…… #tartexts

[15ktherapy]

STUPID NO GOOD NROGING NOTHINGS LYING TO ME!!! I FOUND A CLIP OF HIM CALLING PAUSE A DICK LAWL. he said jerk. ETHO BITCHIN CLIP. THERESSNOTHING THEREEEEEEEE

#LIES. LIIIIES ALL OF IT #you little fff. friend stays on top I fucking guess #EVERYTHING THING ELSE IS A SHAM. #my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined

[endofthe1980s]

okay but why is the unknown song that people can't find actually so patrick bateman

#you carry all the shame in diiiiiiiisguiiiiiiise caught up in a world of liiii i-i-i-ieeeeeees. this bangs #post #ap #music

[overmooneleven]

Just Pitch having an internal crisis

#guardian pitch sneak peek #my art #i smell liiiies #🥸

[hermits-hovel]

Micro story 12. candles

12. candles

‘Don’t think it’s escaped my notice—You haven’t slept a wink since we got here! It won’t do to let the Warrior of Light run on fumes, so off to bed you go!’

Those had been Tataru’s exact words, and she’d spoken them without a second thought; Ancel was always one to work himself to exhaustion, and she was quick to note how wound up he seemed to be since arriving in Ishgard.

For a mercy, he was compliant—albeit reluctantly so—and had retired to his prepared chambers in Fortemps Manor a couple of hours prior. The moon had long since risen by the time Tataru decided to do the same, and she had begun traversing the dark, ornate hall with a dim candle to light her way.

She would have most certainly proceeded as planned—but thuds and clatters and biting curses rousing from behind Ancel’s door were, however, causes for concern.

She tried his name—the one he seemed to prefer.

“Hawk…?”

There was no sound, and no answer. Had he even heard her?

With trepidation, Tataru tried the door, opening it slowly and just enough to accommodate her small stature. Leading with the candle, she stepped inside and tried to locate her associate.

“Who goes there,” came Ancel’s roughened voice; the words were spoken with breathless haste, and more like an accusation than an inquiry.

Sure enough, there he was—kneeling on the floor by his bed, surrounded by scattered belongings, hunched and bedraggled like some kind of creature. This was a man she had never actually seen under the cover of the goggles and masks he so insisted on wearing all the time, and she was beginning to understand why that might have been. His pupils were slit like a snake’s, and the faint gleam of fangs flashed underneath his panting lips. 

Abnormal, almost monstrous—but if his terror-filled eyes had failed to indicate any sign of turmoil, the glint of tear tracks on his cheeks revealed by the candle’s flame certainly hadn’t.

“Y-you—There was a noise, and…” Tataru swallowed thickly, trying to control the discomfiture in her voice. “Are you alright?”

The Elezen sucked in a breath and turned his face away, as though he knew how he must have looked. He smoothed the urgency from his features, subtly reached up to wipe the corners of his eyes, and brought his knees up to his chest. He strangled most of the vulnerability from his voice when he spoke next.

“I feel ill.”

“O-okay,” she puffed and nodded. “Okay. Okay…” Dashing some of the remaining worry from her face, she offered a warm smile. “Well, then? Tell me what you need. I’ll fetch it for you.”

“Nothing. I just—“ He cleared his throat. “I needed… The candle went out. I was trying to relight it. That’s all.”

Tataru looked toward the object in question, unlit atop his bedside table—and in that instant, she was able to piece the situation together.

Ancel was afraid of the dark.

… Maybe. Potentially.

“Well, a suggestion, if I may.” Tataru approached the unlit candle and lifted her own to it, pulling away once the wick caught the flame. She turned to face Ancel then.

“If… You’re having trouble sleeping,” she ventured, “why don’t I keep you company? I can rest right over there.” She gestured to a sizeable armchair sitting in the corner of the room. “How does that sound?"

Ancel looked at her as though she’d suggested freefalling off of Witchdrop—and yet, after a moment of silence, he averted his eyes sheepishly.

“That... would not be unpleasant.”

thank you so much for the prompt @ffxivtribehydrae!! I initially wrote this from Ancel’s perspective (and I could still post that), but Tataru’s was better for what I wanted to accomplish ;w; plus I just wanted somethin a little nicer than like 5 paragraphs of a grown man losin his damn mind (again) <3

I wanted to keep writing this one hgkldh this would’ve been during HW where Ancel and Tataru actually like... start becoming good friends lmao

[prompt list!]

#answered memes #ask #muh writing #ancel louvre #tataru taru #these are supposed to be micro fics but they're more like. uh #cereal bar fics #filling but travel sized :) #also i liiiied #i said I'd put out a gale-related prompt next but I got the banner for this one done first so dkjfhgskdhfgs #at least it isnt Complete angst

[kingfakey]

uhm idk who needs to hear this rn but never let another boy ruin ur mascara

#if he ever hit u with the liiiies better never hit him with the liiikes

[whumpster-fire]

Rikki Tikki Dalby

The only species of venomous snake native to the British Isles is the European Adder, and it is never found on the Isle of Man. But the creature winding its way up the rutted lane towards the old stone farmhouse wasn’t.

It would have seemed a trick of the light to anyone who glanced at the road, and it would have been hard to do more than glance because it is the nature of the human mind to protect itself. It appeared as a shadow of inky black, shimmering as it weaved from one side of the road to the other, leaving patches of withered, rotted grass where it touched the vegetation on the edges. It was only as broad as a human arm, with little sign of the sheep that it had consumed, but it was hard to tell where its head was, and its  tail didn’t seem to have an end, just stretching on and on.

It wasn’t from here. It had slipped through a gap, a small crack in the world, as snakes do. But now it was here, and it was hungry. Sheep wouldn’t satisfy it. Too dull, not enough brains, not enough spirit. It   wound around and around the house, sniffing at the air, probing at the stone walls. It smelled better prey inside.

The serpent crept up the walls and through the windows and down the chimneys, until it was certain that only one human was inside right now. It would feed now, and stay here and wait for others to come.

The girl heard it enter the room. She heard the scraping of scales, and a weird hiss like the static of a wireless. But she was used to hearing odd sounds in this house. She sighed, but paid the noise no mind and stayed bent over the table, focused on her schoolwork. She never looked up as the serpent coiled and reared up, preparing to strike.

Easy prey. Too blind to notice the predator in the room.

SNAP.

The light vanished. The gray overcast sky blotted out by nothing. No light to define the serpent’s form, no shadows to hide it. There was no electricity in the farmhouse, but the air filled with the smell of ozone.

Two points of red light appeared in the blackness, and rapidly expanded until it was clear that they were eyes. Blazing scarlet, the subtle patterns of color in the irises dancing and writhing like flames and  breaking free of the edges of each eye, flattened slits of pupils appearing to perpetually shrink without truly changing size.

The serpent turned from its intended prey and struck at the eyes, but hit only stone. They opened again in the other direction. Then more eyes, then more, and more.

SNAP.

The weak light of the gloomy day returned to the kitchen. A bolt of shadow whipped across the room, carving deep into the floor. Shards of stone flew, and the farmhouse shook. The girl screamed, and leaped to her feet, but there was such a great force resisting all movement, and so little binding her or anything else to the floor. It was like moving through treacle. She ran for the door, but her feet just slid as she began to tumble in the shimmering air.

The serpent found its new target, coiling and knotting around a small, disgustingly warm body. It struck again and again, sinking fangs so inimical to life that anything should have been snuffed out with one bite into what should have been flesh. A shrill squeal burst crockery on the counter, but still it struggled.

Then came the explosion. The implosion. The wall of wrathful sound that tore the windows from their frames and the serpent’s cloak of shadows from its body and scattered it around the room, turning everything to night again.

The girl hit the ground hard, skinning her knees and elbows. She lay there in shock, paralyzed with fright at what seemed to be an entire thunderstorm crammed into the kitchen. Something long and sinuous thrashed and writhed, scattering chairs and tables to splinters, blindly seeking a streak of light and flame. For a moment she caught a glimpse of the form of a small animal, back arched, fur standing on end, fur alive with rippling arcs of ghostly fire of the blinding color and intensity of a bolt of lightning, and an eerie blue glow that seemed to pierce through even the walls. She flinched away and closed her eyes, but that image was burned into them for a long time. Sparks of color burst in her vision, and there was a strong taste of metal in her mouth, though she was sure she hadn’t bitten her tongue in the fall.

The serpent was lifted into the air, writhing and fighting to escape now, but it found no purchase on anything. The room was too wide, too long, even for its endless length to touch the walls. There was nothing around it but eyes and teeth and flame. It was pulled, twisted, and tied into knots tighter and tighter until it was bound into a compact, tangled ball, and its death throes fell still.

When the girl found her feet again, there was nothing but the scorched remnants of broken furniture and shattered pots in the kitchen, and a dusting of ash on the floor, and the pieces of something sinuous and impossibly long, now dried out and crumpled and broken and dried out and burnt. More of it littered the ground as nothing but scattered bones.

A high-pitched voice from nowhere laughed. “That was the best sport I have had in years, but you are too small and you taste empty. Send your big brothers and give me a proper meal, I am tired of rats and poultry!”

It is a mongoose’s nature to hunt snakes.

~~

So I had a silly idea. Gef is a mongoose, a creature best known in folklore for being a relatively harmless critter that hunts and kills things that are much, much more dangerous to humans. So what if Gef was a small, friendly eldritch abomination that protected his people from much, much nastier enemies?

(incidentally, the “ghostly fire” is ionized air, and the “eerie blue glow” and sparks of color are Cherenkov Radiation generated in the air and inside Voirrey’s eyeballs! Gef may be a boastful little shit but his warnings are truthful!)

#my writing #Gef the Mongoose #Lemon Demon fandom #cryptids #technically rpf #but its Gef's original creator #and she's no longer around #i wrote it for the devilment #there's too much liiii-iiight #investigators said the wood was scorched

[mvncesa]

unfortunately for all of u guys d20 has taught me the phrase ‘slammed down big style’ & I will be using that from now on

#( tell me to stop posting ; ooc. ) #our muses aren’t fucking . they’re getting slam down big style <3 #but I also will always have lou w/ilson screaming ‘yoU LIIIIED !’ in my head at it

[jennablackmorebooks]

I heard a song that would be so perfect lyrically to put on the Regards playlist I made but alack and alas! No one knows where this song is even from :(

#girl help i am becoming invested in the hunt for everyone knows that/ulterior motives :0 #CAUGHT UP IN A WORLD OF LIIIIES EVERYONE KNOWS THAT you got ULTERIOR MOTIVES #I really hope a full version of this exists. I have doubts bc people say it was for TV and is therefore probably originally short. but #i can hope and dream #if this is an ARG whoever made it SHOULD release it in full someday

[pixeechix21]

Let it Snow❄️☃️

Keegan x fem!reader

Quick snapshot, cute moment becomes hot n heavy as he hold you close to him not letting you go

Also we just need more Keegan 😌💕

Tw: oral, PRAISE slight DEgradation, spontaneous, car sex/public

~❄️❄️❄️~

It’s snowing! It’s snowing! You rush out side in barely enough to cover you, your too excited to worry about the cold. Running out you smile widely and laugh giving out loud “wooo!s” he’s out there with you crouching over.

You smack his ass laughing evilly at him exclaiming “hey what the hell!” He turns around swiftly throwing the snowball right at you. You can’t stop laughing and throwing the snowballs.

Exhausted and somehow sweating you stand in the middle of the snow covered road tongue stuck out trying to catch the snow flakes. Coming up to you he lightly takes hold of your jaw and sticks his tongue out licking yours. “Eww!” You shove him off, but he just takes you and holds you closer.

“Oooh now you think I’m disgusting?” Keegan’s voice is playful teasing as he wraps you up in his jacket. Looking up definitely, “oh yes very,” you smile broadly.

“Would it be disgusting if I just,” he leans in tongue stuck out. You try to lean back hands pushing on his chest,

“I might just liiii-“

“Ewww! Stop it!” You squeal happily. Keegan licks your face then as you squirm. Then as he did so you take his face with your cold hands and kiss him. Kissing him so deeply that you steal his warmth. His tongue in your mouth tasting the hot chocolate. Inside his coat it’s warm, hot growing intense. Bodies flushed together, holding each other so that you don’t slip on the ice. He sways you both causing you to lose footing, landing right into the freshly fallen snow.

He lifts you up onto him, taking your mouth. Clouds of hot breaths puff around you. As frozen hands go under layers messaging and touching the heated skin of each other.

Breaking apart he looks at your lips, heavy lidded, “disgusting huh?” teasing he runs his thumb over your bottom lip.

“Mmhm very,” your lips brush against his as you smile eyes gleaming as you gaze into his.

“Show me just how disgusting you can be?” Keegan says darkly. His hands cupped your ass.

“Yeah?” You smirk eyes looking beautifully at him, he almost forgets how to breathe. You start to kiss your way to his neck. As your hands sneak between his bottom layers, finding his cock squeezing it and you run your finger over its tip.

“I’m cold,” he hisses holding you tighter.

“Then let me warm you up,” your stomach swirls with excitement as he lifts you up.

“Where are you taking me!” You squirm again s he hauls you to the back of the car. Laying you inside he, he shuts the door. “Lift your shirt I want to see you,” lifting the shirt he takes one of you hard nipples in his mouth twirling and twisting. Shifting between you giggle as he comes to sit up, with your bottom half off. He’s hard under you, and some truly disgusting thoughts come over you. The car steams as his cock fills you.

“Ride me! Just like that you’re doing so fucking good,” Keegan’s encouraging you, letting you ride him vigorously chasing your high.

“Keegan you feel so big-“ you gasp and you both rock the whole car. Keegan holds you so close crushing your soft body to his.

“Such a good disgusting whore, fucking me like this,” he nips at your bare skin. Panting as you lean back taking him to the hilt.

Outside the moaning is may heard over the howling of the wind. If I’m wrapped in your arms, feeling you deep inside me then I say let it snow let it snow.

#fem!reader #smut #call of duty #x reader #cod x reader #keegan russ x reader #keegan x reader #cod keegan #keegan p russ #keegan #cod smut #cod mw2 #12 days of christmas

[alter-koker]

the fact that columbo will just lie fixes so many 'plotholes' regarding his persona. he says he has a nephew and then says he doesnt? not a plothole he just lied abt that before. ppl dont understand this and will freak out when they get to the part where he says he has kids. he doesnt have kids he LIIIIED he likes to tell a little fib he likes to do a little dance sing a little song

#columbo

[yunarim]

I have to admit when I found out Riddle's signature spell was Off With Your Head I started singing Don't Lose Ur Head when he started losing it during the Unbirthday Party because it would've made him even madder if he actually heard it

“Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said,” you say when things are getting more serious but you got reminded of a particular song and somehow couldn’t help but mess around just a little. 

“What?..” Riddle turns to you, absolutely furious and red. 

“I’m just tryna have some fun!”

You see Trey mentally signaling you to stop preferably IMMEDIATELY. Like HELP??? Can’t you see his Dorm Head is going quite insane right now??

Even Ace and Deuce who realized they were fed up with all this childish tantrum looked at you as if you were the one going insane. 

You giggled, getting closer to Riddle, and that’s where the real performance was about to start. 

“Don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t lose your head.”

Silence. Maybe a whole minute passed but in reality it felt like the time’s frozen, you couldn’t even hear anyone breathing. You looked around before Riddle started pronouncing something incoherently and trying to find something to throw at you. Trey rushed to him, not caring about you saying nonsense anymore. Ace and Deuce grabbed you by the shoulders, trying to drill some sense into you. Hello, you’re a magicless human here, what are you even trying to prove???

“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone~ LOL, say oh well~”

You heard Cater chuckling somewhere near and winked at him. Maybe he was the only one cultured here after all.

“I’m sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said,” you continued when even Grim tried to stop you from proceeding. 

Apparently only Crowley (and maybe Cater just a little) was excited to see what else funny you can try. Popcorn, anyone?

“Don’t lose your head!”

THANKFULLY Riddle didn’t hurt you somehow (newcomer overblot preventer luck? Who knows) but after everything was over, Trey approached you and advised refraining from singing this nonsense, are you out of your mind?!

“Divorced,” you said suddenly and only Cater chuckled again. Maybe it was a part of erghhh you being you? “BEHEADED.”

“Stop, I’m begging you…” Riddle said overwhelmed and tired.

“... Died,” you continued playfully. “Divorced, beheaded, survived. And tonight, we are… LIIII~IIVE!”

Sevens, you’re not a future overblot preventer, you’re its causer.

NOOO BECAUSE I WOULD SING IT TOO FR AHDJSKAHDA i'm sorry riddle no offense but it would be fun, don't take it seriously)))

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #riddle x reader #「 ⁺♡︎ 」 — yona murmurs

[howlingday]

Tyrian, The Homicidal Maniac

I don't kill people...

Jaune: (Little boy) M-Mommy, I heard a noise.

Mama Arc: (Laying in bed) Mommy's ignoring you, sweetheart. Go bother your father. He's in his study.

Jaune: Come on, Pumpkin Pete. Daddy will help us. (Hears crash, Runs to study) D-Daddy? I'm scared! I hear noises! ...Daddy?

Papa Arc: (At his desk, Not looking) Son, we just moved here. You're just not used to the sounds of our new house. I'm busy right now, working. That's all I ever seem to do now, because I have to work to keep you alive and feed you. I haven't smiled once since you were born. Now go to bed.

Jaune: B-But I can't! There's no curtains on my windows, and I feel like there's something outside watching me! Please, Daddy, I'm scared! Pumpkin Pete is hearing sounds, too!

Papa Arc: ...Are you still here? Go to your room, stay quiet, or else that something is gonna hear you, too!

Jaune: But Pumpkin Pete-

Papa Arc: GO. TO. BED.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Yes, Daddy...

Jaune: (Goes to bedroom) Let's go, Pumpkin Pete. Maybe if we keep the blanket over us, we can fall asleep before we die.

Jaune: (Walks in) Here we are, Pump-

Jaune: (Sees broken window) M-Mommy... (Smashing sounds) Th-The bathroom, Pumpkin Pete! There's something in the bathroom! It's time to be brave, Pumpkin Pete. We have to protect Mommy and Daddy!

Jaune: Huh? No. You're wrong. They aren't bad people, Pumpkin Pete. They love me. They don't really mean it when they tell me to get myself kidnapped.

Jaune: (Enters bathroom)

Tyrian: (Bloody, Squeezing tube) WHERE THE FUCK IS THE HYDROGEN PEROXIDE?!

Jaune: (Squeaks)

Tyrian: Oh... Hello~. My name is Tyrian, but you can call me "Tyr" for short. And who might you be~?

Jaune: (Squeaks)

Tyrian: Squeak, huh? Alright, Squeak, do you mind telling me where the hydrogen peroxide is? Some of this blood is mine.

Tyrian: Wait, never mind. I found it right over here. (Pours on head, Groans) Hot damn, that one put up a fucking fight! Fucked me up like a raccoon on crack! But nothing quite brings out that zest of life quite like meeting their impending death!

Tyrian: (Turns to Jaune, Smiles wickedly) From the looks of you, I'd say you know exactly what I'm talking about~!

Jaune: (Shivers)

Tyrian: Oh? And who might this little cutie be?

Jaune: Um... Th-That's Pumpkin Pete.

Tyrian: (Picks up plush) Hello there, Pumpkin Pete~! I'm Tyr, and you must be Squeak's little buddy, huh? Well, you certainly are a cute, little rabbit! Yes, you are! Yes, you are~!

Jaune: (Giggles)

Tyrian: Huh? What's that, Pumpkin Pete? Mhm? Uh-huh. Yes? Really? Ah, okay. What? Hm...

Tyrian: WELL, FUCK YOU, MISTER BUNNY! YOU SPEAK LIES! LIIIIES! YOU'RE STUFFED WITH PURE VENOM, YOU VILE, LITTLE SHIT-FILLED BASTARD!

Tyrian: (Grabs knife) HOW MANY MORE OF YOU FUCKERS ARE THERE, HUH?! HOW MANY?! YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE! YOU DON'T KNOW THE SHIT I'VE SEEN! AND IT'S ALL BEEN BECAUSE OF FUCKERS LIKE YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW THE TRUTH! (Repeatedly stabs Pumpkin Pete, Pants) Oh... shit.

Tyrian: (Hands plush to Jaune) Uh, it's getting late. I should go now. I'm on right now, so I should leave. Here, walk me out.

Tyrian: (Climbs out window) WE'RE NEIGHBORS NOW. (Leaves)

Jaune: (Walks with Tyrian to broke window)

Tyrian: Hey, uh... Sorry about the broken window, Squeak. It was locked, and well, you probably shouldn't lock it anymore. And thanks for the hydrogen peroxide, too. But don't you worry, I'll be back again sometime. After all...

Jaune: MOMMY! DADDY!

Mama Arc: I'm still ignoring you, honey.

Papa Arc: YOU RUINED MY LIFE!

THE END

#rwby #johnny the homicidal maniac #jaune arc #mama arc #papa arc #tyrian callows

[lucespeaks]

MASKED UP LIIII OUCHHHH DONT HURT EMM🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

#uconn wbb #aaliyah edwards #big li #masked up li 🗣️

[hollyhomburg]

LIIII!!!! Chapter 54 was AMAZINGGDJHF!!!😍😩 MC finally taking Joonie’s Knot!!!! To say I have been waiting ages for the scene is an understatement😂 I loved how you wrote it and everyone helping her out was just so funny and cute personally for me🤭. I also loved that they were there for her before, during and after her first time with Joonie😍.

Joonie’s pre rut thoughts are wild and I’m loving it hahah. I kind of can’t wait for either one of the omegas to be pupped up!!😍😍 And the last bit with Hobi is also so sweet, not him blushing when he cares for her🫣🥹. Idk why but I really love MC and Hobi scenes it feels like they understand each others trauma and are there for each other.

Thank you Li for yet another amazing chapter!! I hope you reward yourself with some amazing sweet treats or by doing smth fun!🤍🥰

honestly you and me both! i've wanted to just! get on with it! for so long! now she gets to be a little knot slut! like she was always meant to be! god why is it really hot to imagine her bounding up to namjoon right after he's come home with puppy eyes smelling sweet and he just knows what she wants and is like instantly hard over it 😭

maybe jinnies been looking after her and made her wait for namjoon and decided not to fuck her, maybe he even kept edging her or made her warm his cock just to keep her needy and on edge for when he got home, why do i love the idea of namjoon awaking a whole new kind of sexual stamina in her. it would be even better if she was shy about it asking him constantly "it's okay if i need you all the time 🥺 i'm not being too needy right?" and namjoon's all like "of course not pup, i'm your alpha, take what you need from me."

ahhhhh why wasn't i this interested in this when i was like actually writing the chapter!

#hormones going crazy #tmi but #started my period today so thats probably why