#( GOD he's so much more cryptic and spooky like )

[inbarfink]

I still can't understand why GolBetty turned the Lich into Tetris block. Like, she has an immortal powerful being who has no purpose and who asks her to give him that purpose. Why not order him to guard Simon for the rest of Simon's life?

GolBetty could fix his meat suit so that the Lich would not frighten the inhabitants of OOO with his appearance, and everyone would be happy. Simon has a bodyguard to ensure his safety (Happiness for Betty), the Lich has a goal (Happiness for the Lich)

I... okay, I am just going to make a List of all the reasons for why 'Making the Lich into Simon's Bodyguard' is a Bad Plan.

First and foremost, can she order the Lich? As GOLBetty, she cannot actually speak. The only way she could communicate with Simon is through cryptic actions and a video game and a Weird Memory Brain Visit Thing. And it worked, but you have to consider how much of it worked because Simon is, despite all of his flaws, an intelligent and considerate person making an honest attempt to understand what Betty is telling him and is also the person Betty herself understands more than anyone else. Trying to communicate 'hey, your role in life is to protect this man' to a murderous nuclear skeleton you've never spoken to before and only really understands death and destruction might be a Complicated Matter. Especially as the consequences for the Lich misinterpreting GOLBetty's actions could be quite dire. Because, again, for years before the Lich only understood death and destruction.

Second of all... I think you're making quite a big assumption here, thinking she can she repair the suit. GOLB is a being of pure chaos and entropy, most of their powers are based around mutating and twisting and corrupting the things around them (sometimes turning them into Tetris blocks, sometimes into monsters). Could she restore something into a previous pristine state? Not that would be a good idea either, because the Lich's Meat Suit is Billy's body. So if Billy starts running around Ooo again like 10 years after he died, people might start asking questions. A better idea would be to make a new Meat Suit, which... again, considering GOLB's powerset and aesthetic would still look pretty Freaky probably. But considering Ooo is... Ooo, he could at least pass as an Unrelated Weird Spooky Monster Man. But still, like, there's still always the risk someone might recognize his voice or his powerset and realize this guy is Bad News.

And the thing is... yes, the Lich is Bad News! Sure, at that point he was utterly depressed and sure his original 'purpose' was meaningless and desperate for GOLB to give him a new goal for existence but, like... he is also an immensely powerful being that most Heroes in Ooo still struggle to defeat and before his Existential Crisis clearly took a lot of pleasure in the idea of destruction. Like, there was a reason why he decided to interpret GOLB's chaos and entropy as Omnicide. That part wasn't just following GOLB's orders, that what at least partly about the Lich's own desires at the time. So sure, maybe if his God told him 'yeah, sure your new job is to take care of this boring ol' nerd' - maybe the the Lich would be satisfied with this idea for a while. But... what happens past that initial contentment? What if the Lich doesn't find babysitting a 50 year old academic with clinical depression a 'satisfying purpose' either? What if being returned to an Ooo abundant with life and creation starts firing up his urge for destruction all over again? What if he does some soul-searching and realizes he can find a purpose himself outside of the shitty boring task GOLB has inexplicably given him, and that goal might not include annihilating all life in the universe, but is still pretty Evil on it's own? Letting any incarnation of the Lich run free and unharmed and close to Simon would be a huge risk that could backfire at any moment if his faith and fervor for GOLB falters even slightly. Quite honestly, I can't see Betty take that risk.

Also, like, Simon doesn't really need a bodyguard?? I mean, he did for this Adventure maybe - but this is clearly, like, Not a Regular Occurrence for Simon. In his Actual Everyday Life right now, he is generally perfectly safe, living a peaceful-if-wacky-life like any other Oooian civilian. Even when he goes on that ill-fated adventure with Finn that traumatized the shit out of him, he was terrified, but he was hardly ever in real danger with Finn around. The Multiverse Adventure was only as dangerous for him as it was because it was a rare time where most of Ooo's greatest current heroes are not easily available to help him on speed-dial (and they're a lot less likely to suddenly commit omnicide because they overcame their own depression!). The Lich wouldn't even be hypothetically useful on this Adventure. The Scarab was hard even for GOLBetty herself to defeat, and the Lich probably wouldn't get teleported with Simon to Prismo's Time Room. Most of the problems Simon actually faces in his present-day life would only be exacerbated by the presence of a bodyguard of any kind, and especially a bodyguard who is also the Lich. Like, he already experiences a serious lack of privacy from his current Living Museum Exhibition Job - does he need a Spooky Scary Skeleton who follows him around and overzealously watches his every move? And Simon already feels kinda isolated from the people around him - and making and keeping friends would only be more difficult with a creepy vaguely-homicidal dude following you around to 'protect' you. Especially if Simon can't explain to others where he came from, and especially if he needs to hide the fact this is an incarnation of the Lich (and especially from Finn, basically the Lich's arch-enemy at this point and also Simon's dear friend). And... like, Simon needs to find a way to rediscover his old adventurous spirit in his own terms and in a way that makes him feel safe, and that wouldn't be easy when the one thing keeping the Goddam Lich in check is the honest believe that 'keeping Simon Petrikov safe' is like his divinely ordained goal.

And this kinda follows from my previous point, but it was so important I felt that it deserves to be it's own bullet point. What Simon needs more than anything is to move on from Betty. And Betty knows it, that was the whole point of... basically the whole Simon half of the finale. And moving on from Betty is already hard for Simon with all the love he still feels for her and all that she has done for him - and it's only going to be even harder if she gives him his own Apocalypse Skeleton Bodyguard to follow him around for the rest of his life. What she wants for him now is not just to be 'safe', but to be happy - and getting a Bodyguard Lich will not make Simon happy!

And finally, like, moving on for a second to the Lich's perspective. Even if we do assume that the Lich can find happiness and satisfaction in following Simon Petrikov around. Simon's not getting any younger. It's a huge part of the conflict of 'Fionna and Cake' that he is a mortal man - so what happens to the Lich when he croaks? Yet another total crisis of purpose? Another spiral of depression? And again, I do want to emphasize that the Lich is still an incredibly powerful creature capable of extreme sadism and cruelty and we really can't predict how that crisis of faith will manifest itself. A lot of people worry about what will happen to their loved ones when they're gone, but Simon Petrikov doesn't need to lay awake at night thinking about his Skeleton Buddy going Literally Nuclear as a result of his death and putting all of his other friends in mortal danger.

That's just what I can think of for now, just off the top of my head. Quite honestly, there's probably even more reasons why it would be a very very very bad idea to let the Evil Death Skeleton hang out with Simon Petrikov in one of the biggest civilian population centers in Ooo.

#adventure time #atimers #fionna and cake #fionna & cake #at #at fionna and cake #fac #f&c #adventure time fionna and cake #adventure time simon #fionna and cake simon #fionna and cake series #fionna and cake show #simon petrikov #simon adventure time #lich #the lich #betty grof #betty adventure time #adventure time betty #at simon #at betty #jerry fionna and cake #fionna and cake jerry #golb #golbetty #betty golb #adventure time golb #petrigrof

[winters0689]

My pitch on why you! (Non Alan Wake 2 fans or Alan Wake 2 fans alike!) should vote it for GOTY!!! (Or to get you to play it idk) (Spoilers obviously for the game)

Alan Wake 2 is such a brilliant story, so let me ✨dazzle✨ you with why you should vote it for GOTY!!!!

(Also just in case *inhales deeply* you are not obligated to give it GOTY based on my words alone and that you should watch gameplay or vote to any of the other amazing games this year I merely made this for fun and whichever game gets GOTY deserves it because SO many good games came out this year *exhales deeply* okay? okay, great, now let’s get to gushing about this game!)

I shall show with photos! Don’t you just love it when someone flips you off? Or perhaps when someone licks the screen for some reason? What about two old men who are frequently drunk and who are possibly gods??? I think?? …Yeah that final shot just speaks for itself, I mean, look at him ascend!

Now, I know, you may be wondering ‘but what about the characters who are evil!’ Well we have evil characters just for you! Love an evil guy who is constantly drenched in blood? Meet Scratch! He’s endlessly covered in blood and is often screeching when he’s speaking! Isn’t he just dreamy?? What about an elderly person that lives in a nursing home? Well we have an elderly woman who uses water to attack you and travels through water! What about a naked former FBI agent who attacks you with tree bark? Or how about two deputies who, instead of being like normal enemies who just throw tools, just decided to be dicks and use guns? We have all of this in this amazing game! Well would you look at all that variety of enemies!

Now for the spooky part! You may be wondering what can be some of the scary locations in the game? How about a hotel that you can easily get lost in? Or how about an old manor in the middle of the woods that is now a nursing home?

Do you love characters who go through so much fucked up shit that you just want them to have love and get therapy? Well then let me tell you! They. All. Need. Therapy.

Need more reasons? Well what about a fangirl who is so obsessed with a certain writer and writes a zombie apocalypse fanfic that is found by finding lunch boxes? What about a Finnish Janitor who speaks cryptically and is also possibly a god? And this shot? Well, there’s a reason people consider it to be one of the best parts in the game.

If all of these things seem GOTY worthy, then vote it GOTY!

#alan wake #alan wake 2 #alan wake 2 spoilers #I did this for fun lol

[qu33nincrims0n]

My Dumb Thoughts on Higurashi- Onikakushi

The first of my Higurashi Reactions I started on Reddit, now with GIFS! These are basically the notes I put down of my thoughts after each chapter.( I'm not sure if long posts like this are seen as okay, so I may break up the later chapters for readability) [also spoilers for Onikakushi, obviously]

Oh, and before I begin, I read the main five in the following voices:

Rena and Keiichi: higher and lower versions of my own voice

Satoko: heavy enunciation

Mion: Peni Parker's Sonic voice

Rika: Cherami Leigh's voice for Sunako in Shiki

any other voice, I'll say when they show up. With that, let's begin!

Well, that was an uncomfortable opening 

Ch 1-1

Honestly the fact Keiichi’s mom has no sprite way more unnerving than it should be

Keiichi, you’re gross. Stop that

Oh hi Rika, I can’t wait for you to murder me and/or Satoko and for it to be like big sad.

Tip about the uniforms: ah, either Mion’s relatives are part of some sort of criminal underground, or this is a pervert thing.

Ch 1-2

WHY DOES MION HAVE A GUN?!

Hello?

(Zero Escape 999) Rika giving me some *Redacted* vibes with these rabbits

Yes, this is a cute picnic, but Mion still has a gun, and no one has said anything about it.

Tomitake Is voiced by Kyle Herbert (specifically his Kaito voice). No one can tell me otherwise

Oh, shit a Sanders Statue!

When Rena talks like my great grandpa side stepping topics ‘,:(

Why is there no tip about the GUN?!?! - future me here to say I now know why no one talks about the gun. thank you. -

Ch 1-3

Should have believed in the heart of the cards, Keechi.

So Mion is shady about the 79’ murder too, Huh?

Never let go Sanders!

The XX killer be like:

That moment when you completely redress to grab an axe.

Ch 1-4

Zimbo Zamboo Zombie blasto!

Man, Mion had to be really lucky to fake a tagging. Like how did that even happen?

Ayyyy Tomitake!

I’d love for a pic of the guy who died in 79’ to show up and its straight up Colonel Sanders given the parallels

Ch 1-5

I don’t like the one kid who canonically has a gun is the one proposing a “four demon fire-fight”

Oh hey, it’s like me playing pook. Keiichi has learned to believe in the heart of the cards!

Rika: So, you want to die? That can be arranged.

You insinuating somthin’ Rika? I don’t like that tone

Ch 1-6

Festival time!!

+ Tomitake has joined the party+

Me: *suddenly realizes we now have six ppl for parallels*

Spooky time with Tomitake and new lady (I’ll call her Ms. Clover until I get an actual name) - also I realized later I forgot to give her a voice, so she's british-

And then nothing bad happened.

Ch 1-7

Well this is a funky version of clue… I wanna try it.

Rika, stop saying cryptic stuff like that. Stop it. Get some help.

Ooishi, sir, you look constantly high. I think I'll give you a southern drawl.

NO!! Tomitake!! Oh, and Ms. Clover is missing, I guess.

Oh god, that’s deeply upsetting.

Secret~ agent~ Keiichi~!

Tomitake isn’t you’re name ?!?

Ah so Ms. Clover is Miyo, and she’s a nurse from nearby. Neat.

Ch 1-8

Two events masquerading as one event. They’re evolving…

“You got home safely, right?” sus

Secret member Satoshi has entered the chat

Hmmmm so that cat eye thing is not just Miyo. Hmmmmmmmm

I don’t like Rena-x.

double don’t like this door shenanigan thing. You call that officer back right now! Keiichi!

Ch 1-9

I feel that Keiichi +passes out for nine hours+

The staple of mysteries, gossiping grannies!

Ooishi out here to drop some truth bombs. Oh shit, may have been too much.

Huh I wonder why he censors death in his own mind there? Maybe effects of something.

Keiichi you are so lucky they don’t know your family’s away.

So, either A, there’s a spy network, or B, they can do some sort of vision thing. Not fun either way.

Welcome to the “Keiichi digs himself into a bigger hole” hour. I hope the conclusion of this game is him eventually learning to talk around the truth.

Keiichi if you don’t cut open those Mochi to check them I swear to shogoth!

God damn it.

Keiichi, you currently have an in with the cops, and actual evidence of an attempt on your life. LEAVE! Find safety, Please!

Ch 1-10

What Keiichi’s brain feels like:

I wonder what they would have said if Keiichi had guessed the mochi?

Keiichi: I just have to act normal

Also Keiichi: No I won’t play games because that would be nice.

*Telling parents about the clock* Ah yes, very subtle Keiichi.

TIP: Hmm… is this implying Satako or Rika aren’t fully in the know? Seems the only reason to play it coy like this.

*Casually looks up how long the game is*

Ch 1-11

White van dude:

IDK why but I imagined Keiichi flying back with a twirl like in a fighting game.

Okay Rika definitely knows as much if not more than everyone else.

Man this sucks Keiichi.

Rena: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…

Store Tip: huh, does Keiichi have like an eidetic memory or something? Also, hi langolier in my memory.

Ch 1-12

Wait this should be the weekend… *googles* man, tough luck Hinamizawa's a Sunday only town.

Spilling all the beans today, aren’t we Keiichi?

Mion and Keiichi:

(art by @ratt-lord)

Oooo secret past of Mion and Ooishi, sounds interesting.

This cycle? Keiichi do you know something I don’t?

So you’re saying Oyashiro-sama is what, a Cubs fan? God of bats?

That set up with Rena sounds like those guys probably deserved to get beat up.

Wild goons have appeared!

When you monologue so hard you can actually freeze time… HE REALLY IS SHADOW!!!

The Manager? Ryuukishi!?!

Keiichi, Quick! What number was the mochi?

Oh no.

Oh no oh no.

Sorry the most important part was stolen bud. Also, it’s weird they left the white van stuff. Must be pretty confident.

AFTER PARTY

Tomitake!!! You’re Back!

When you are too poor to get a character sprite #Protag-Problems

Love this theory talk. Personally, I’m going with it being people, but the curse is also going on but as an unrelated thing. Also I feel like maybe the girl's astral project or something.

So there's my Reaction for Onikakushi. The later ones have a lot more custom memes, so I hope you like the one I added in here. I'll try uploading Watanagashi some time in the next few days. See You Soon!

#higurashi #higurash no naku koro ni #reaction #long reads #memes #dumb-thoughts-series #so many gifs #humour #visual novel #Onikakushi spoilers

[jesakh-reads]

★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

yessss, so i love feyre getting revenge but i hate that lucian is in the middle of it oooo i hate ianthe but very gross her crushing her own hand lucian’s family sucks lol tamlin at this war meeting is making me want to fight did cassian form a mating bond with nesta? whys he so obsessed with her nesta hurting people because she’s hurting 😭😭 love that nesta's not afraid of amren lol nesta said i don’t make public speeches i love mor i love rhys so much, go off for a supporting women king feyre has a wing fetish i feel like nesta and amrane are going to be best friends bone carver - i love a cryptic bitch nesta our death goddess erris is a little bitch and so is mor’s dad what if elaine is seeing the future SHE WAS TELLING THE FUTURE i hope they make friends with the library monster, it seems lonely and powerful lol RHYS BEING ANGRY ABOUT FEYRE AND MONSTER DEAL WOULD HE RATHER SHE DIED JFC i don’t rhys attitude rn we love the drama of finding out elaine is a seer why is rhys always cold yassss night lord remove the mask weird vibes by the male comments, male hand, male smile???? very gross of tamlin to show up to this meeting tamlin is the most toxic ex god damn tamlin is disgusting i hate him what do you mean for the first time his hands were clammy, you always notice his hands are cold helion is a king for calling tamlin out for being a bitch rhys should have shut him up earlier ready for beron to get assassinated lol feyre said i won’t show them my powers then shows them ALL OF HER POWERS jfc LUCIEN IS HELIONS SON WAT elaine is now best spooky bitch really hate how they are treating elaine rn let her help jc I’VE NEVER WORN PANTS 😂😂 ooooo library creature join the army pls durian yes king threaten the trash graysons why run out of the camp instead of fly my boy yes girlypop fly they need some kind of magic replenishing energy drink fr the bone carver is a little shit and i love him i’m emotionally attached to all these characters i don’t want any of them to die in this war 🥺 respectfully just kill your father girly SHUT THE FUCK UP RHYS BE HAPPY FEYRA, i would have murdered him if he didn’t ✨✨ AMAREN IS ALIVE THANK GOD is she going to be pissed lol oh no she’s normal now that’s cool i feel like they got a happily ever after why is the 1.5 more books lol

[le-souriant]

#MusicMonday Review - March 2023

#MusicMonday is the hashtag I've been using for quite a while to share music recommendations from up-and-coming artists. Always fresh, and always different, trying to look for trends before they become one. You can check February's review for more music.

This month's music takes us to a different realm, populated by dreams. Either with sounds, themes, or mysterious lyrics, go ahead, and let it take you away, with a word from the artists themselves. 🎧

Zap Euphoria – Nottingham Tune

Don't try breaking me down I'm not here for messing around

I keep trying but end up dying No more rock and roll, yeah

Like almost all dreams, in this Tunbridge Wells, England based Indie Rock song, lyrics are cryptic, and enigmatic. Just remember that people don't put you down, they only get you used:

"The track came about believe it or not In Nottingham. We were playing guitar over another song, then Erik (bassist) played the intro riff. We paused the music and wrote the song around that.

We wanted to write a tune that a whole field of people could jump around to. The lyrics aren’t about much, but we think that is funny."

Elemantra – No Shadow

The keys are in the car But no one Is in the driver’s seat

I wanna be there when the wheels turn I wanna feel it when we burn

From Buffalo, NY, we get a Dream Pop track that shows us how black and white are the colors of everything in this world:

"As far as the theme of the song and it’s overall message goes, it was mostly inspired by a fairly traumatic event that happened in my family during the summer of 2020.

My older brother was diagnosed with a very serious heart condition, out of the blue. He’s not much older than me, and it was just so shocking and scary for us all. I always viewed him as such a strong and worry-free person. Never thought something like that could happen. So to see him like that and to have something like that happen to him, it got me thinking like, damn bad shit can happen to anyone and for no good reason at all. It’s all just black and white, either something happens or it doesn’t. This all occurred too during the height of the Covid-19 paranoia and fear. So, there was already this spooky and uncertain atmosphere in our lives, which definitely further amplified these feelings. But, on the bright side, this all forced me to find peace in the acceptance of being powerless to the will of the universe.

If you’re aware that you can’t change what is going to happen, you’re free to just go about your life. And this train of thought brought about other concerns, like is this a healthy and sustainable way to go about life? I felt like maybe it was too simplistic. But ultimately, it let me accept and feel comfortable enough to move on. There’s no safety net, there’s no god, but there’s also no invisible malevolent force in the universe out to get you. You can just be you. Things might go your way, things might not."

Night School – Little Human Thoughts

You said we’re okay And i know we’ll end up with a house Someday

But it’s the idea that it’s not what you want That makes me so nervous I sob

Moving to the West Coast, in Oakland, CA, we continue with more Dream Pop about those thoughts that make you nervous, because you know the truth hurts:

"It came from a personal experience in a relationship. It’s essentially about fearing that the other person in a relationship is not as committed as you’d like."

The Tullamarines – Said Enough

I’ll put on a brave face I’ll put on a big smile

I feel like I'm feeling too much when the lights are down And I'd say it is nothing But it feels like it's something

Coming up next, from Adelaide, Australia, an Indie track about the nightmarish internal struggle that happens when you have trouble communicating. Are you hearing me?

"The song is basically about being the quietest person in the room and not knowing what to really do or say."

The Straights – Dead Set Detective

Baby you and I, We’re like the stars. Not so much apart, But yet so far.

Blinded by the light, But in the dark.. I’m in too deep.

From someone who can't express himself, we end our journey in Portsmouth, England for another dysfunctional example of loneliness, and attraction:

"(Band member) George wanted to write a song that was essentially an anti-love song, so thought it would be interesting to write the lyrics from the perspective of an incel.

Rather than just creating a horror-esque narrative, he wanted to touch upon the psychology of obsessive behaviour among stalkers, almost as though the songs narrator was totally unaware of their behaviour, with an honest perspective.

He had heard about how a-lot of these individuals find themselves in the position where they effectively worship the person of interest, and see themselves as protectors or guardians of some form."

Listen to them and much more on the Playlist

@osornios

#music #MusicMonday #review #march #2023

[endexe]

Soooo Zero having threads where he uses the ability to break fourth walls when

#tbt #( literally the same post I had with Grim jkdnfKJBSK ) #( Zero and Grim: why does Mori have to do THAT to us like this ) #( Noble and someone else: . . . ) #( jkAJKDSBSDBGK ) #( GOD he's so much more cryptic and spooky like ) #( addressing your name in his post via binary code or morse code :] ) #( or link your blog somewhere in his post he got NO chill ) #( truly a wild glitch bastard )

[suttttton]

An Invitation

How do you get Jonathan Sims to go on a date with you? Easy. Step one: Trick him by giving him a fake statement filled with puzzles that lead him to the date location of your choice. Step two: Profit?

---

“Jon,” Sasha says, leaning against his desk.

“Hmm?” He doesn’t look up from his work.

“D’you want to get lunch with me today?” she asks. It’s just a casual question. They’ve gotten lunch together before, and she knows that Jon won’t interpret her question in a romantic way, but her stomach still thrums with nervousness. It’s… different, now that she’s decided to let herself have a crush on him. Now that she’s decided that, eventually, she’ll ask him on a real date.

He doesn’t even look at her, just shakes his head. “Can’t, I’m a bit swamped this week. I’ve got a lot of—things…” he trails off, drawn back into his work. The exciting world of follow-up research. She stands there for another minute, just watching him, knowing that he has forgotten her entirely. It’s one of those things that should be annoying, but is really just… deeply endearing. Ugh.

She’s going to ask him on that date soon.

***

When she asks Jon out, she tries to be obvious about it. Jon has a hard time reading social signals at the best of times, and she wants to make things easy for him. She’s not the most comfortable with grand gestures, but she’s got a bit theater kid in her yet, and she’s sure she can make it work.

She finds Jon in the break room, eating a bowl of microwavable soup and staring blankly at nothing. Very adorable. She knocks twice on the table, getting his attention, and he blinks once and smiles at her.

“Jon, there’s something I want to ask you,” she says. She can feel heat rising in her face. God, this is about to be embarrassing. She really, really hopes he doesn’t turn her down. (Why would he turn you down, James? You’re a catch.)

She gets on one knee, takes his hand. “Jonathan Sims,” she says dramatically. “Would you do me the honor of coming to dinner with me on Friday?”

He looks at her, and his eyebrows furrow. “Sorry Sasha,” he says, “but I can’t. I requested some books, and they’re supposed to arrive Friday. I was planning to get started on them Friday evening.”

She sighs. She’d take it as a graceful rejection, if she hadn’t seen Jon reject people before. He got nervous and stuttery and hyper-apologetic. He doesn’t look at all uncomfortable now, just confused as to why she’s on the floor.

He doesn’t know that she’s trying to ask him on a date.

Later, replaying the scene in her mind, she realizes what the problem was. They were at work. Even with her making it as dramatic as possible, the environment was too casual. She asked him to do platonic activities with her all the time while they were at work—why would he assume differently?

She needs to ask him when they aren’t at the Institute, somewhere where she can make a whole presentation of it. She’ll buy him flowers, sweep him off his feet.

Except.

He keeps turning down her offers to spend time together. When he isn’t busy with follow-up, he’s busy researching the Leitner books. It’s… stupidly endearing. And unhealthy. Jon doesn’t look unwell, really, but he does look… stressed, hunched over his desk all day. Jon needs a break from work, not just so she can ask him on a date, but also so he doesn’t drive himself into a nervous breakdown.

Sasha hatches a plan.

***

It doesn’t take long to put together. Just an evening, researching cryptic puzzles, scouting out locations that aren’t too far from the Institute, writing a nonsensical statement in the ‘I saw a ghost in a graveyard and it was spooky’ vein.

The only problem is how to get the fake statement into Jon’s caseload without him noticing. She can’t just drop it on his desk, not with him there all day long. She could get Lydia involved, but she isn’t sure the Head of Research would approve of her plan, and even if she did, Lydia is a bad liar. Jon would know something was up.

In the end, Jon solves the problem for her. He leans back in his chair, hisses over to her, “Sasha! Swap with me?”

“Spiders?” she asks, and he winces, nods. She holds out her hand, and flicks through the offending file. It has all the hallmarks of a false statement, but—

“I felt thousands of legs swarming over me, filling up my mouth, my nose—”

She snaps the folder shut, wrinkling her nose. “No problem,” she says. She hands Jon the fake statement. “You can take this one, I haven’t gotten started on it yet.”

“Thanks,” he says, smiling. Her stomach flips, and she watches for a few moments longer as he gets to work.

***

It would be suspicious for her to be staring at Jon the entire time he’s working on the statement, so instead she just glances over every once in a while, making sure he doesn’t immediately drop the statement in the ‘discredited’ pile.

He doesn’t. Instead, his frown deepens as he’s drawn in, trying to figure out the puzzle she’s left for him. The statement is clearly fake, but a few of the words are—wrong. Nonsensical. Gibberish.

She sees Jon go over and over the text, marking every strange word. Then he picks up his phone, dials the number listed on the statement. It’s a disconnected number, and Jon’s frown deepens.

He thinks for a few seconds, tapping his fingers on his desk. Then he pulls out a notepad, begins writing on it, consulting the statement to transcribe the strange words exactly.

At that point, Sasha knows she has him. Jon loves puzzles, and now that he knows there’s a puzzle to solve in the statement, he’s not going to stop until he figures it out.

It’s a simple Caesar cipher, with the phone number as its key. It yields the message:

Here are the coordinates:

CH.HCGDHCGFYERE, -HB.KGICCECIF0WI

In order to crack the coordinates, Jon simply has to replace each letter with its numerical position in the alphabet. Jon is smart, he’ll figure it out. The coordinates belong to a cryptid-themed restaurant in America called the Moth Man Urban Legends Bar and Grille.

Once, the Moth Man Urban Legends Bar and Grill website landing page contained several blurry photos of “Moth Man,” along with a somehow even blurrier photo of a restaurant menu. Now, it’s a nightmarish jumble of the strangest stock photos Sasha could find, along with a single hyperlink that just says, “Click me!”

(Sasha included this step because she finds it deeply entertaining to watch Jon click on the shadiest links possible. It’s revenge for all the viruses she’s had to clean off his computer.)

The link leads to a much more tasteful webpage. It’s has a single picture of a rose on it, and below that it just says, “An Invitation”. Then it gives the address of a very cute little cafe just a short walk from the Institute. Beneath that, “Tonight. 7:00pm.”

It takes about an hour for Jon to figure out the Caesar cipher, and after that he works through the puzzle quickly. It’s a delight, watching his face when he sees “Moth Man Urban Legends Bar and Grille,” and even better when he sees the monstrosity she’s made of their website.

He clicks the link without even a second of hesitation, which almost makes Sasha laugh out loud. And then he’s just staring at the invitation. He opens a new tab, opens Google Maps, puts in the address. She sees the back-in-forth in his head—‘Tonight’ has probably long since passed, and he isn’t likely to find anything if he shows up at the cafe at 7:00pm tonight.

But Jon is stubborn, and if he doesn’t go ‘Tonight,’ it’ll eat at him. She’s trapped him. He’ll show up. She’s certain of it.

***

She debates for a long time if she should wear a dress, or a button-up shirt and tie. She decides on the tie. It has ferns on it, and she needs the calming vibes.

It’s starting to sink in, what she’s done.

Why didn’t she just say, “Jon, I am asking you on a date”? That would have been so much easier! Christ, she’s tricked her crush into going on a date with her. What kind of creep does that?

She’s terrified Jon will be angry with her. Or worse, hurt. This whole thing is technically a prank. What if Jon thinks she’s just… making fun of him?

She stops by a flower shop on her way there, and the shop assistant asks what she needs, and she’s so nervous by then that she actually says, “I tricked my friend into going on a date with me, and I need flowers that will prevent him from hating me forever.”

“Right,” the man says, uncertainly. “Well—” And then he makes Sasha a very, very nice arrangement because, unlike Sasha, he isn’t a complete mess.

Sasha arrives at the cafe thirty minutes early, because she knows Jon. She knows he’ll want to stake out the place ahead of time. She knows she has to arrive ridiculously early to beat him there.

But apparently, she’s underestimated him because he’s already there.

He’s seated at a table in the corner, where he can see the entire dining room. He’s still wearing his clothes from work, and there’s a pastry in front of him.

He’s watching the door, of course he is, so he sees her come in.

“Sasha!” he calls, waving wildly at her. It makes something pang in her chest, that Jon’s instinct upon seeing her in a public place is to excitedly greet her. She certainly isn’t that kind of person.

She smiles, walks over to him. Her fingers are curled tightly around the flowers, crinkling the paper just slightly.

“Do you have a date tonight?” he asks, looking her over, his eyes still flicking back and forth between her and the door.

“I hope so,” she says.

He frowns. “Are they late? Or—”

She hands him the flowers. “These are for you.”

He looks at them, bewildered, then back at Sasha. “What—”

“The invitation was from me,” Sasha says, sitting down across from him. “I faked the statement, and I made the puzzles.”

He stares at her for moment, then at the flowers, then back at her. She waits for him to yell at her, or run off, or—she doesn’t know.

Then he starts laughing. It’s—wonderful, when he laughs. He always tries to hide his face, and this time he decides to use the flowers for that purpose, stifling his giggles against the petals. “Sasha, I—I thought it was going to be the, the Mob, or something.”

Sasha can’t help but start laughing too. “You thought the Mob sent secret messages to each other using a Caesar cipher?”

“I don’t know!” Jon says. “This is—” He lets out a long breath. “Well, I did enjoy the—game, I suppose.”

They look at each other for a long moment.

“Wait,” Jon says. “So I’m your date?”

“If you want to be,” Sasha says.

Jon smiles. “I—” He laughs again. “Yes. Of course I do.”

#tma #tma fic #my fic #jonsasha #fluff #this idea grabbed me this morning and wouldn't let go until i wrote it #i just love Agent of Chaos!Sasha so much

[jungshookz]

CHAPTER ONE: It begins.

it’s... cold. 

why is it cold? 

the first thing you hear is the sound of someone calling for you, but his voice is shaky and he sounds like he’s on the verge of tears

“y/n… please… please wake up…”

your eyelids feel heavy and you can’t seem to open your eyes no matter how hard you try

fingers prod at your back and you instinctively go to flick them away but you can’t seem to move

“please wake up… please wake up…”

what the hell is going on?

when you finally manage to peel your eyes open, you find yourself staring directly at a pair of tattered old sneakers that you recognise to be jungkook’s

you know they belong to him because the seams on the right shoe started to split last week and he’s been too lazy to order another pair for himself

okay

well

if there’s one thing you know for sure, it’s that you don’t know where you are

“don’t leave me alone… i can’t do this without you…”

all you know is that your body is aching and your ears are ringing and your head is pounding and you feel like you’ve just woken up from a one hundred year long nap

long story short

you are noT feeling very well

a pained groan slips past your lips as you slowly push yourself up off the ground before reaching up to press your palm flat against your forehead

jesus christ

your brain feels like it’s about to melt out of your ears

“what’s going on?” you croak, “where are we?” 

you clear your throat before reaching up to wrap your fingers around it 

it kind of feels like you swallowed sandpaper and then gargled saltwater right afterwards 

you reach up to rub at your tender cheek seeing as it was squished down against this rough wooden floor for god knows how long

“what... what’s... what’s going on?” you ask dumbly before looking around the room 

you’re not sure what time it is but it’s obviously nighttime because you can barely see anything

you look over to see soft moonlight peeping in through the cracks in the wooden planks that are nailed against the windows

the only source of viable light is jungkook’s flashlight and even that’s starting to die on him a little bit

“don’t be so loud-” jungkook hisses as he glances towards the closed door warily, “i-i’m not sure. i woke up ten minutes ago. do you remember anything at all?”

“i wish i could say i did.” you mutter before looking over at the door as well, “where’s everyone else?”

“no idea.”

“huh.” 

it’s weird

you really can’t recall anything that happened prior to this moment

you dO know for a fact that the eight of you were together at some point… but now it’s just you and jungkook

“well… okay, lemme just-” you slowly get up onto your feet before stretching your limbs out

your joints pop and crack back into place as you twist and turn and shake the numbness away 

okay yeah

you’re definitely have to go for some kind of a massage as soon as you find a way to get the hell out of whatever crackhouse this is

“i’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this.” you wrap your arms tight around yourself before shivering

it’s a little drafty in here

“oh, really? there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why we woke up in what seems to be an abandoned old house?” jungkook hisses as he gets up off the ground as well, “i can’t remember anything. something isn’t right here!”

“at least we’re still alive...?” you mutter, checking your hands and arms to see if there are any scratches and bruises

nothing

which is a good sign, right?

“how are you being so calm about all of this, y/n?” jungkook frowns

you reach down to dust off the front of your jeans before shrugging, “someone has to be, because if we’re both panicky, we’re probably never going to get out of this place.”

“wha-”

“did you find any other tools besides that flashlight?” you ignore jungkook’s panic-infused comments as you make your way over to the large set of drawers at the other end of the bedroom

“no, because i’ve been trying to wake you up for the past ten minutes. the flashlight was near me when i woke up.”

“maybe there are some batteries in here somewhere…” you yank the creaky drawer with a grunt 

you’re met with disappointment when you see that all that’s in here is a folded piece of paper

“what does it say?” you jolt in surprise when jungkook suddenly speaks up directly behind you and you give him a gentle nudge with your elbow before picking the note up

don’t let the light die

“don’t let the light die…?” you frown lightly before peering over at the flashlight in jungkook’s hand

really??

you’re not supposed to let the light die and all you get to help you with that is a dusty old flashlight?

that’s the equivalent of bringing a water gun to a sword fight

“what do you think that means?” jungkook whispers and you shrug in response

“i don’t know. this seems like some kind of an elaborate prank or something. and whoever wrote this has the handwriting of a three year old toddler, so i wouldn’t worry too much about it,” you tuck the paper into your back pocket for safe-keeping before pushing past jungkook to explore the rest of the room, “how long do you think we have until your flashlight dies?”

“not sure…” jungkook shakes it before tapping it against his palm, “maybe, like, twenty minutes at best?”

“okay, well- oh, wait!” you spin around before letting out a scoff, “we’re so dumb - we can just use our phones-”

you pat your pockets down and-

…

…

where’s your phone?

you curse quietly when you don’t feel the familiar rectangular shape anywhere

whoever put you here took your phone too???

harsh

your snapchat streaks are all probably gone by now

you and jungkook had a 1385 day streak!

okay

you know what

it’s fine

you’ll just email snapchat later and beg them to restore the streak it’ll be fiNE

in the meantime, you should probably focus on getting out of this place instead of your snapchat streaks

“okay, let’s just-” you run a hand through your hair before looking around the room, “just help me look for something, anything we can use to defend ourselves in case we need to- i don’t know, fight someone?“

“oh, god. you think we’re going to have to fight our way out of here?” jungkook whines, his brows knitting together in concern

you whip around to glare at him, “you’re the stronger one out of the two of us, so you better be prepared to fight if we need to, you wuss-”

there’s a bunch of junk scattered around this bedroom so you’re sure you’ll be able to find something to use

you’re a little bit hesitant to get on top of this bed because you don’t know how old this house is and the sheets look pretty nasty

the mattress creaks underneath your knees as you crawl on top of it and your nose wrinkles at the musty, mildewy smell

gross 

you flip over the questionably stained pillows one by one and perk up when you spot another folded note under one of them

“another one?” you mutter to yourself as you pick it up 

don’t turn around

god

what is with all these cryptic messages, seriously?

you don’t have time to try to figure out what all of these mean!!

“y/n, check it out!” you turn to glance over your shoulder to see jungkook holding a baseball bat up triumphantly, “found it in the closet!”

“oh, sweet! good job, kook.” you hop off the mattress (thank god) before scurrying over to join him by the closet, “what else is in here?”

you nudge him to the side before dropping to your knees to dig through the mess of items on the ground

“nothing much…” jungkook hums, “clothes… shoes… you know, normal things that go in a normal closet-”

you pause upon noticing a tattered looking leather journal buried underneath all the clothes

“and there’s this.” you pull it out and dust the cover off before wiping your hand on the side of your leg 

it crinkles as you open it up and you smooth your hand over the first page 

the pages are wrinkled and yellowed and honestly you can barely read the words because most of the ink is faded

you flip through it slowly and reach up to adjust jungkook’s hand so that you can get more light on the book

“what’s that?”

“someone’s journal or diary or something, i guess?”

“...i feel like that can’t be a good sign.”

you flip through the pages faster and faster and you feel your heart starting to pound in your chest

these messages are… creepy

don’t turn

can’t hide

no door

trust him? trust them? 

all smiles :-)

“damnit.” you mutter to yourself as you bring the book closer to you to trY and read the faded messages

on the last page (the rest of the book is blank) is a messy sketch of what appears to be a bunch of long panels formed into the shape of an octagon with a little red ‘x’ in the very centre of it

?

okay

so

here’s what you know  

you woke up in a room in a house and you don’t know how you got here

the only source of light you have is a shitty old flashlight

the only kind of weapon you have is a shitty old baseball bat

this journal has a bunch of weird messages scrawled inside of it but you don’t know if the information in it is important or if the owner of the journal is just insane

and… yeah!

that’s about it

there’s really not much else to unpack here

and as much as you would like to stay here wondering what the hell is going on, you really don’t have the time for this and it would probably be more productive to actively try to get out of this place

and you feel like if you bring the book with you, something spooky might happen… so maybe you’ll just leave it be

at least that’s what all the scary movies you’ve ever watched have taught you

you never mess with the journals!

you toss the book aside before getting up onto your knees and dusting them off

“alright, c’mon-” you brush past kook and head towards the door with the baseball bat in your hand, “let’s go.”

jungkook’s lips part and he lets out a squawk before stumbling over to join you, “what- wha- what do you mean ‘let’s go’?”

you turn to look at him right as you’re about to reach for the doorknob before raising a brow, “i mean, let’s get out of this room so we can get out of this house-“

“no!” jungkook shakes his head frantically before backing up, “i-i think we should just stay in here until the morning. it’ll be safer that way and we’ll be able to find everyone else a lot easier.”

your shoulders drop and you resist the urge to roll your eyes

he wants to STAY here?

you’d very much like to LEAVE here so you can go back to the comfort of your own home

and you feel really gross!! you wanna take a shower!! rinse all this grime off!!

“jungkook, from the looks of it, it’s not going to be morning for a couple more hours, and you said yourself that the flashlight probably isn’t even going to last one hour.” you gesture to the flashlight in his hand - which flickers and dies for a brief second, proving your point - before placing a hand on your hip, “now, c’mon. i have a bat. you have your fists. we’ll be fine.”

“but- what about that note you read earlier? a-about not letting the light die and stuff? a-and all the messages in that book?”

“exactly! we can’t let the light die - someone had to have put it there for a reason, right?” you appeal to jungkook’s spooky little conspiracy in an attempt to get him to lift his feet up off the ground, “that means that we need to make use of our only source of light and get out of here as soon as possible, okay? we have each other. we’ll be fine, kook.” 

jungkook chews anxiously at the inside of his cheek as he thinks to himself

a good ten seconds of silence ticks by and he still hasn’t responsed

oh for god’s sake

you let out an exasperated sigh, “look, if it makes you feel any better, i’ll lead the way! and we can hold hands or something.”

“i don’t-” jungkook reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, “i don’t need to hold your hand-“

“alright, fine, we won’t hold hands since you’re a big strong man who definitely isn’t scared shitless right now,” you shake your head and reach for the doorknob again, “can you please just get over here so that we can-”

BAM!

you immediately fall backwards in surprise when suddenly someone starts pounding at the door

you wince as your elbows hit the ground and sharp pain shooTs up your arms

oW

“are you okay??” jungkook helps you back up onto your feet and you nod quickly as you keep your eyes glued on the door

it’s being pounded on so hard that it’s practically vibrating

“HELP! HELP ME!”

you recognise the voice to be taehyung’s and you can’t help but feel a sense of relief even though relief should be the last emotion that this situation brings

“LET ME IN, PLEASE- PLEASE, I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE IN THERE, PLEASE LET ME IN-”

you go to open the door but jungkook suddenly grabs the back of your arm and yanks you backwards, “n-no!”

“wha-” you turn around to look at him with wide eyes, “what do you mean ‘no’?! are you insane??”

jungkook’s grip tightens around your arm and he looks over at the door warily, “y/n, don’t open it!”

“PLEASE- PLEASE, I DON’T WANT TO DIE-”

“we have to open the door!” you hiss, “taehyung’s in trouble!”

“but- if you open that door, all three of us could die!” jungkook stammers, “that locked door is the only thing keeping us alive! we don’t know what’s out there, y/n!”

you jump as the doorknob starts to rattle violently

at this point, taehyung could probably break the door down and come in himself

you look down at jungkook’s hand around your arm and then back up towards the trembling door

What do you want to do? 

> [A]: Open the door! That’s your friend out there! Taehyung would do the same thing for you… right? Wouldn’t he?

> [B]: Are you serious right now?! Jungkook’s right! You can’t open the door, otherwise whatever’s out there is going to get you guys too! Sorry, but everyone for themselves…

Place your vote here. 

You have one hour. 

Good luck. 

#choh2020 #choh2020 drabbles

[maddie-grove]

My Vision for the Ominous Babysitters Club

Based on this post.

Kristy Thomas makes a decisive move in founding the Babysitters Club, then continues to amass power, assets, and allies for most of the series (as well as sworn enemies). In #100: Kristy’s Downfall, she overplays her hand and is toppled from her position of power. She spends the last thirty-one books clawing her way back to the top, embittered and more tyrannical than ever.

Mary Anne Spier is a sensitive soul, more vulnerable than the rest of the club to demonic possession, life-changing encounters with eldritch beings, and the accidental acquisition of psychic abilities. Her false lover, low-level wizard Logan Bruno, senses her potential powers and jealously tries to keep her down through gaslighting. (Notable examples include his kidnapping of her cat, Tigger, and an incident where he swapped out two of her babysitting charges with eggs enchanted to look like real children.) After she gains confidence by getting a cute new haircut, she gets the upper hand in their relationship. She soon sees through his small-minded manipulations, but decides to keep him around...for now. She grows equally weary of Kristy’s authoritarian ways, leading her to mount an explosive counter-attack in #131: The Fire at Mary Anne’s House.

Claudia Kishi seems like a carefree, creative, junk-food-loving teenager, but in reality she’s a hostage to terrifying forces beyond her control. Her parents sometimes coldly refer to her as “the subject,” her older sister Janine is a sorceress of astounding talent and uncertain morals, and her old friend Kristy Thomas has threatened her into joining the BSC and letting the club meet in her room three times a week. Her only true friend is her grandmother, Mimi...until jaded city girl Stacey McGill arrives in Stoneybrook. Claudia tends to bury her head in the sand about the more uncanny aspects of her life, instead focusing on her art and more immediate threats, such as serial killers and murderous children. She’s forced to reckon with the supernatural, though, when she descends into hell in #106: Claudia, Queen of the Underworld. With the help of Janine, her eventual ally, she soon rejoins the living and embraces hedonism.

Stacey McGill flees a troubled past in New York City, only to become enmeshed in the byzantine schemes of the BSC in an attempt to help her new friend Claudia. As the series progresses, Stacey becomes more and more convinced that Kristy must be taken down, but her moral misgivings (as well as her string of dysfunctional romances, troubled relationship with her divorced parents, and struggles to manage her Type 1 diabetes) keep her from ever making a decisive move. In #83: Stacey Defects, she openly speaks out against Kristy and leaves the BSC. When life on the outside proves cold and purposeless, she hatches a scheme to ingratiate herself with Kristy again and bring her down for good. Her arc ends on an ambiguous scene in which she quietly enjoys some “cookies sweetened with fruit juice,” leading some readers to speculate that Kristy had her assassinated. 

Dawn Schafer was originally conceived as a horror-movie Final Girl, a stalwart everyteen who defended her charges from Stoneybrook’s more prosaic villains (kidnappers, obscene phone callers, and a couple of masked murderers); she was meant to serve as a contrast to her eventual stepsister, the ethereal and insecure Mary Anne. As the series progressed, though, Ominous Ann M. Martin and her spooky ghostwriters ended up using Dawn whenever they wanted to try out cool new ideas. Although the results are often fascinating, the consistency of Dawn’s character suffers; however, some readers argue that Dawn’s unstable characterization is a deliberate choice that contributes to the uncanniness of the series. Her books can be split into roughly four types: straightforward slashers (#5: Where Are the Children, Dawn?); psychological horror with strong feminist/environmental/political themes (#84: Dawn on the Blacklist); creepy California-set stories with lots of drug imagery, macabre Hollywood history, and cameos from serial killers (#23: Dawn and the False Promise of the Golden West); and books that are completely dominated by Mary Anne (#31: Dawn’s Eldritch Stepsister). In one of the most optimistic books in the series, Dawn finally moves to California for good to escape Kristy’s influence and live that Francesca Lia Block life; less satisfyingly, she temporarily returns several books later, in an obvious attempt to get readers to check out the Ominous California Diaries, in which Dawn becomes an amateur sleuth who focuses on serial murders.

Mallory Pike is a combination Byronic-Kafkaesque heroine, simultaneously convinced that she is too brilliantly unconventional for normal society and that God personally despises her. She constantly rails against her cruel fate, which includes constant drudgery as the eldest of eight children, intermittent money troubles, the vicious snobbery and contempt of her peers, debilitating illness, encounters with the surveillance state, and the suspicion that she’s a talentless hack. Even when dealing with malevolent clones or a cursed book, the true horror of a Mallory book is always being Mallory. In #126: Never Look Back, Mallory, however, she breaks away from the oppressive environs of Stoneybrook to attend boarding school. Although she is terrorized and vilified by a duplicitous roommate, her problems are solved fairly quickly with the help of sympathetic classmates and reasonable adults. In her final scene, Mallory sits on her bed, beginning to question her long-held assumption that she is both destined for greatness and bound for hell.

Jessi Ramsey is a Faustian figure, always thirsting after glory and forbidden knowledge. Already a talented ballet dancer, she makes deals with various gods, demons, and other supernatural creatures to learn how to decipher runes, talk to animals, turn base metals into gold, commune with spirits, revenge herself upon her enemies, and fly. Her powers come in handy at her dance school in New York City, which is extremely cursed and haunted. Despite her towering ambitions, she is fairly easygoing, even managing to make friends with her sinister doppelgänger Jenni in #68: Jessi and the Shadow-Self. Towards the end of the series, she is faced with the choice of becoming a professional ballet dancer or obtaining the ability to turn herself into a beautiful Arabian horse at will (she is also a horse girl). She makes the mature decision to turn down both opportunities for the time being, instead opting to be a kid and experiment with necromancy, time-travel, fun doppelgänger pranks, and discussing equine literature with her best friend Mallory. In the short-lived Ominous Friends Forever series, though, she becomes a ballerina and (it is heavily implied) a were-horse, in part due to Mallory’s defection.

Abby Stevenson was introduced as an eleventh-hour interloper who switches between unhinged, corny-joke-filled attempts to turn Kristy’s life into chaos (much like the Joker in The Dark Knight) and unhinged, corny-joke-filled attempts to charm Kristy into being her girlfriend so they can be a terrifying power couple. Unlike with Dawn, her dual nature was a deliberate narrative choice; many later Ominous BSC books contain subplots that are just other club members wondering aloud what Abby’s deal is. Abby’s own books don’t shed much light on her motivations; she seems more preoccupied with ordinary adolescent concerns, like her upcoming bat mitzvah and her fraught relationship with her cryptic twin Anna (who only speaks in palindrome). Her last book, #127: The Twilight of Abby Stevenson, is a surprisingly sweet coming-of-age romance in which she and Kristy drop their hostilities and go to the movies on Valentine’s Day. Their relationship ultimately falls apart, though, thanks to Kristy’s unquenchable thirst for revenge on her enemies. Abby breaks up with her and gets really into David Lynch.

Logan Bruno is a low-level wizard who comes from the swamp and hates his father. As an alternate officer for the club, he sometimes babysits.

Shannon Kilbourne, the other alternate officer, is something of a blank, but she’s heavily implied to be a lost Dollanganger of some sort.

#babysitters club #horror (kind of)

[scullydubois]

history in retrograde

~aka I try my hand at smut (!)~  read on a03

I'm totally out of my comfort zone here so uhhh...if this isn't the most embarrassing thing you've ever read, let me know! Also I know the title doesn't really make sense but I thought it sounded cool...if history is the past, and retrograde means going backwards, does history in retrograde mean moving forward? That's my thinking.

tagging @today-in-fic & @willowrose99

Scully is surprised to learn she's not the only one Mulder has pinned to the basement desk. Rated M, 1.5k. Set in season 7.

Her breath catches as he thrusts into her, her petite form shifting like a boat at the ocean’s mercy. She throws her head back in ecstasy. Her gaze catches the pencils stuck in the ceiling, noting that they form a mirror of her and her partner’s current position. How ironic. 

His hands envelop her exposed collarbone, pinning her to the desk she once resented him for having. That day seems like something that must have occurred in a dream, so distant from her current self that it can’t possibly have been real. She had been angry at him then. Thinking of leaving. Now he is one with her, and she doesn’t ever want to leave.

She started this. One day she wanted him inside her, and she didn’t want to wait until they were in her car, or on his couch, or in whoever’s bed they sought refuge in that night. A purely selfish motive, yet they both reaped the benefits. And after that first time, they’d be crazy not to do it again. 

Location aside, their office jaunts are a bit different than how they usually do it--though, thankfully, it has the same ending. When they are alone--alone alone, without the arousing threat of someone walking in on their little deviation from investigation--Scully unleashes. Her role as the long-suffering woman in a patriarchal sector is swapped for one a little more...dominant, and Mulder enjoys being at her behest. 

But in the office, she gives herself over to him. Her want is so overpowering that it needs to be smothered before the flame sets everything around her alight. 

And now he’s got her shirt unbuttoned down to her belly button, his lips switching eagerly between the plush where her breasts curve over her bra (black lace--she must have known what was in store when she got dressed this morning) and the metal ring in her navel. She’s had it since she was eighteen, but only started wearing it again because Mulder’s eyes popped out of his head the one night she put it in on a whim. 

He kisses a path from her navel to her sternum, pulling the straps of her bra off her shoulders and locking his mouth around her pert left nipple. Her heartbeat pulses against his nose. 

“Mulder…” she writhes under him, trying to maintain her dignity for as long as possible. Her fingernails scratch through his button-up. 

“C’mon baby, cum for me,” he murmurs into her skin. “I want the whole building to hear you, I want them to know how good I make you feel.”

He never gets to be this cocky when she’s in control, so he takes advantage of it while he can. He takes one hand off her collarbone to wrap her legs around his hips. The friction between them is almost unbearable.

He pulls his hips back, nearly exiting her entirely, then rolls forward in a smooth motion. Scully lets out a shriek, her hand flying to her mouth to muffle the sound. Before it can make it, Mulder grabs her wrist.

“No, no, no,” he taunts, pinning that wrist above her head, still thrusting into her. “And don’t even try the other hand, or it’ll go there too.”

She careens her fingernails into his back in protest. He chuckles and catches her bottom lip between his, sucking on it like he’s got to remove poison to save her life. She moans into his mouth. 

He rubs circles over her left areola with his free thumb. Her moaning intensifies. “Mulder...please…” she gasps as they come up for air. 

He moves to the right areola. “Here?” 

She trembles beneath him. He knows exactly what she wants but he’s too caught up to give it away so quickly. 

“Here?” He says, rubbing circles over her navel. She bites down on his bottom lip to shut him up.

He drags his finger down, down, down, until he’s between her legs. He swipes her clit, and she bucks up into him, whimpering.

“Oh, there?” he teases, nuzzling her neck. He continues massaging circles over her, and he feels her muscles tense beneath him. 

“Oh, fuck…” she breathes. He lets go of her wrist, and it joins the other on his back. She claws into him, her entire being shrinking around him…

He sucks in a breath as it hits, the sensation reverberating between them and making it impossible to distinguish their orgasms from each other. 

“Fuck! Fox! Fuck!” Scully screams in spite of herself. Mulder keeps her pressed to him so she can feel his every crest. She squeaks and whimpers as she rides out their bliss. For once, she’s glad they’re sequestered in the basement. 

When it’s over (somehow time froze and sped up all in one), Mulder slides out of her and rolls onto his back. He watches as her chest rises and falls, and god, he’s never loved a woman or a moment so much. 

He zips up as she, still lying flat against the desk, begins to button her shirt. 

“Working hard, or hardly working?” he quips, waiting for his breath to catch back up with him. 

Scully sputters out a laugh and rolls onto her side, her lips caressing his. She squeezes his hand. “Thank you.”

He chuckles. “The pleasure is all mine.” 

“I’m imagining a crystal ball showing me that the first time I walked into this room,” Scully giggles. 

“You wouldn’t have believed it?”

“I wouldn’t have wanted to.”

“Well, all it took was seven years of my gentlemanly courting…”

“...and here we are,” Scully finishes with a smile.

She’s quiet for a moment, then she sits up, prompting Mulder to follow. “Could you have imagined that?” she asks coyly, swinging her legs. 

“That I’d be fucking you senseless on my desk in seven years?”

Scully makes a face. “Yeah.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t say that I saw it coming, but nothing’s ever out of the realm of extreme possibility…” he says with a goofy smirk. 

Scully straightens out her skirt. She’s taken to wearing one to the office these days, it makes such exchanges go a lot smoother. 

“Had you ever fantasized about it?” she asks, the flirtatious glimmer still in her eyes.

“About you, or doing it on the desk?”

“Both.”

“Well, yes, but I tended not to dwell on the desk so much. That was always more of Diana’s thing.”

Scully looks at him with a start. “You and Diana?...On the desk?”

“It wasn’t a frequent thing like with us. I think we did it maybe once or twice.” And then, with a smirk--”She wasn’t as insatiable as you.”

Scully frowns, and he taps her playfully, relieving her woes. “I’m just kidding. She was notoriously hard to please. And I didn’t find table-surfing very sexy then. It was actually more of a chore. Always her idea.”

“Well, this was my idea too.”

He looks at her with dopey eyes. “Scully, I’ve been ready to take you anywhere anytime since I realized you’ll have me.”

“But do you not like it?” she asks, concern growing in her voice. She tugs at her clothes self-consciously.

He kisses her temple. “Oh, it was so hot. So good. I should be thanking you for even laying eyes on me.”

She gazes at him with a half-smile, not quite convinced. He rests his chin on her shoulder. “Do you have any idea what a middle finger it is to everyone who's ever called me Spooky when you scream my name and it echoes off the walls of this office?”

“Well, now that I know I’m not the first…”

“But you are the last,” he assures her. “And you know what?” he says with a mischievous grin. “I’ve never echoed anyone’s name off the walls of this office.”

Now he’s got her attention. “Really?”

He nods. “Some people don’t give a damn about reciprocity,” he growls, throwing shade where it’s warranted. 

“But I do,” Scully coos. 

“I know you do,” he swoons. His lips meet her neck with a vengeance. He wants his presence to be known to all.

She basks in it for a moment, then--remembering herself--places a hand on his chest and leans away. “Good things come to those who wait,” she says cryptically. 

She hops off the desk and turns back to him with a fiery glare. “Tomorrow I’m going to bend you over that desk until you forget your own name and it’s all you can do to scream mine over and over,” she purrs. 

He licks his lips. “A friend of mine once said ‘eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we may die.’” 

She smirks. “That friend isn’t exactly following the advice of the Bible at the moment.”

“I’ve noticed.”

She sneaks over to him and stands on her tip-toes to meet his lips. He grasps her waist and breathes her in. “I love you, Daaannna.” He drags it out in a sappy way. 

Scully smiles up at him. “Love you too.” She sighs. “I mean, I love you, Fox.”

Their eyes meet, creating new universes. And so it shall be. 

#i am ~nervous~ abt this one #it's not even that bad I'm just a prude #buttt...there may be a pt 2 if you guys want it #txf fic #the x-files #txf #fox mulder #dana scully #mine

[see-arcane]

The Archivist(s) OR What If Jon and Sasha Both Had the Title? OR Wish-Fulfillment x2

In honor of @letsdontdie and their excellent proposition

• The way I see it, this would only work if Elias became aware of Jon after promoting Sasha to Archivist as seemed to be originally intended. That would mean Jon turned up at the Institute later in the game; possibly due to Gertrude interfering. If Jonalias Bouchnus could spot the Web on him, she certainly would have. After Emma, I doubt she’d take any chances, and pulled some strings of her own to get him working elsewhere.

So Sasha gets the office post-brutal Archivist murder. But, the Web being the Web, that doesn’t fly long. They pull Jon back on course and chuck him at the Institute.

• Elias is confused and/or mildly panicked. Yes, Sasha’s on the road to Archivisthood, but here’s Jon all gift-wrapped by the Fear of Grandiose Masterminding Plots humming along in research. Shit. Does he have to kill Sasha? No, no, better to just let things play out naturally. Stick him in the Archives as an assistant. If one dies he’ll still have the other to work with. Great planning, Elias.

• Here’s where it gets sticky. The Eye is fucking jazzed. From its perspective, it just got two Archivists for the price of one. I mean, look at these two reckless, brilliant idiots who are 1) rightly fearful of the genuine bogeymen, but also 2) entirely ready to fuck around and find out. That, and Sasha and Jon click almost immediately even without the history of working in research beforehand. They’re on the exact same fucked-up-if-true wavelength.

Sasha being Sasha and Jon being Jon, they’re also both extremely fluid when it comes to things like not-quite-legal research methods. The new version of the Jon/Martin dynamic is Martin being the first one to volunteer to join Jon on his breaking-and-entering Creative Intel Gathering expeditions. Tim and Sasha have a running bet on how long Jon can stay oblivious to the obvious.

All the while, Jon starts spending more time in Sasha’s office. She invites him or he invites himself, and somehow, their usual talks start lapsing into longer conversations that snowball into Sasha bullshitting an unofficial new title—Head Archival Assistant—if only to have Jon in the room with her, splitting the statements and recordings and theories.

(Tim and Martin are respectively jealous for a hot second before they realize it’s basically just the two of them being cryptic at each other in a constant spooky feedback loop.)

• Shit starts getting real. Michael happens. Prentiss happens. But this time around, no one on the main crew gets taken by the Not-Them. Unfortunately, that likely means someone else will have to go. (RIP Rosie :c). This is when the Archivist shenanigans start picking up. Sasha and Jon are both scarred by the Corruption. The tunnels happen, etc.

Only now, the Archivist—and Archivist II—can’t get away with doing that paranoid lone-investigation stuff. Why? Because they keep running into each other in the middle of their Stranger-induced spastic episodes.

Sasha, snooping in the tunnels: What are you doing here?

Jon, also snooping in the tunnels: What are you doing here?

Sasha: I asked you first.

Jon: I asked you second.

Jurgen, hiding in the wall: Oh God, there’s two of them.

Et cetera. But since the Eye is empowering both of them, they get double the Archivist juice on their side. Intuitions and sharp Sight come at a quicker pace than with one Archivist, and things start happening fast. Monsters and rituals and lore and murder investigations, oh my. Except…

• ...Something odd starts happening with the Archivist title being split—namely, it doesn’t want to be that way. Cutting its power and Knowledge in half is too much work, so Sasha and Jon start getting eerily in-sync with each other. Breekon and Hope can’t hold a candle to them; they just Know what each other’s situation is, what they’re thinking, what they’re Witnessing, et al.

And they’re more powerful for it. They tear through avatars and rituals like tissue paper. The former of which have stopped calling either of them the Archivist.

Now, they’re the Curious Pair.

An ideal episode name for when they inevitably make the…slips we find out about in “Scrutiny.”

“Th-they were just staring at me, both of them. I couldn’t tell if they were, you know, together, or if they were related. Definitely had the same eyes. Same scars. And they just—they didn’t blink. Not once. […] When I get up to leave, I turn, right, just to see if the weirdos were still gawking at me, and they are. Right. There. Not a foot away from me. They say—together, right, exactly together, they say, ‘Tell us your story.’

“And I do. And they sit there on either side of me, just drinking in the misery and…”

The intervention fallout happens. (This time, they have more than a half-hearted Daisy and a gaslighting Helen as their ‘support network.’ They have each other.)

The Lonely happens, this time grabbing Martin and Tim. Cue a double-beatdown for Peter.

• Fast-forward to the cabin. It’s a foursome now. Tim makes a joke about not wanting to leave Sasha with two eligible bachelors. Jon would be faking laughter if he weren’t busy kissing Martin. 

We get to the Hazel Rutter statement. It could be a Hello, Jon or a Hello, Sasha at this point. But this time, the other Archivist tunes in to what’s happening before the reader can finish the summoning.

Sasha tackles Jon or vice versa. Jonah’s words are cut short.

The rest of the series is the Curious Pair hunting down Jonah to burn his eyes out. The End~

#second favorite AU to the Teacher AU honestly #sasha james #jonathan sims #tim stoker #martin blackwood #the eye #the web #gertrude robinson #sasharchivist au #the magnus archives

[jelloopy]

TAZ Grad Ep 27

The boys are in front of the Godscar chasm  (This is spooky right off the bat lets see where this goes)

FUCK Argo rolled a 1 and is being strongly affected by the chasm he grabs onto Fitz’ shoulder for balance (Maplekeen shippers come get yall juice.)

T h e m u s i c (I will lose my mind as soon as this album is out good lord)

Argo is seeing himself attacking his boys? (Holy shit where is this going?)

IT WAS A FUCKING DREAM THANK FUCKING GOD (This better not be one of those things like Duck had in Amnesty I’ll fight.)

Griffin being pissed that he rolled a nat 20 on perception in a fucking dream and declaring that he’s withholding that until a more opportune time.

Uh oh…. Where are Firbolg and Fitz?

awe they left him a note! It’s okay!

GRAY BETTER BACK OFF IM ALREADY PISSED IM NOT EVEN 6 MIN INTO THE EPISODE AND IM ALREADY DONE. THIS MOTHER FUCKER NEEDS TO DIE AND QUICK. s t o p h u r t i n g a r g o 2 0 2 0

”That’s just dad’s inner monologue” that’s… awe come on “sorry my son came in here and said that bullshit” “awe Henry come on man” “being a bad son is genetic it seems” (Pure gold I love this family)

Sabor saying he was “somewhere else for a second” (does not give me the best vibes ngl…. Sabor’s p sus)

Justin’s new podcast law around Sabor and Firbolg. (Tbh I was a big fan of the slow arduous talking scenes but I will live I suppose…)

Sabor…………………… why are you so sus rn. Ur just tired. Stop being cryptic p l e a s e.

”I have been giving this much thought” “hell yes.”

FESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE MUSIC CAME ON AND I BECAME INSTANTLY FERAL HOLY CRAP FESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (I have been waiting for their return omfg)

”Would you like to party with the fairy’s?” “I need some sort of survival guarantee that I’ll make it through the evening” (This is an extremely viable request)

“Snippers don’t be like that…” “It’s okay I’m flattered!” (I need subtitles for Snippers p l e a s e)

“But this Lil guy is my familiar. He’s not the source of my magical powers, as far as I know… that would be a pretty late season twist.” “DAMNIT GRIFFIN YOU FIGURED IT OUT! All magic in Nua flows through snippers”

FESTO AND GORDY HAVE PARTIED TOGETHER WHAT A DUO (I need fanart of them STAT)

damnit they haven’t partied with Chaos

OH SHIT they don’t know about Fitzroy’s connection with Chaos

oop this is…. Oop. “if your source of magic is external you should not have been able to access it within the crypt.”

 “I also have a habit of delighting people” “HM!”

He lovingly refers to them as his “Boys”

“that wasn’t Argo that was your dad” “CLINT?! THE POWERFUL WIZARD!?” (Clint is truly a multidimensional and plane hopping wizard. We stan)

“we need a name for this multiverse that Clint Travels through” “How about the Clinterous” “TRAVIS. Honestly Travis! Are you fucking kidding me?!” (I………… why Travis… why)

Thank god they all use the restroom before they leave

Argo was literally stabbing in his sleep….?

Firbolg’s first pair of shorts! ‘N he enjoys them. V v happy with this

This means that Gray is actively in Argo’s mind, twisting what he hears! That’s dogshit he needs to stop (s t o p h u r t i n g a r g o 2 0 2 0)

Firbolg has yet to tell them about his dad’s passing and Fitz’ respects that. Argo on the other hand goes ahead and pries in on it.

(Fits their characters tbh)

“Are we just not going to class anymore?” “It’s all Virtual” (I had to stop and laugh for a good minute bc of the delivery by Justin. It got me)

Hero is in front of the Chasm… bb are you ok...

Fitz’ whistling to get Hero’s attention… (Fitz… he’s not a Dog anymore bud…)

Hero has been working up the courage to explore the Chasms! (Pls take him with you)

“you were a dog for a long time you think that you’d be used to people cleaning up your mess” it gets a smile out of hero AND Firby starts to dance! (I need all of the Firby cosplayers to make a TikTok with this and I need all artists to draw this stat. I need the dopamine p l e a s e)

“He does this any time he makes a slam dunk of a joke we just have to let him finish”

God I love when they back up for a min and do some good ol table talk

”I’m talking as a human being Justin Mcelroy father of two.”

“If you guys win a demon war? It’s at least an A-” “what would it take to get the A+?” “You could bring me a fruit basket” (The absolute Corruption… lmao)

Niceee Hero is gonna go work with Althea this is gonna be great.

Yes griffin giving that perception check NO CLINT WITH THAT FUCKING NAT 1 (Clint needs new dice that are blessed please)

Fitz sees Argo take out his blade and sees a look in his eyes. Firby sees it too. (aaaaaand I was right it was one of those “Duck” scenarios ….. damnit)

Firby uses thorn whip around Argo’s wrist and he doesn’t fight it. ( :(  )

Fitz insists that he goes into Argo’s mind to see what’s going on and Argo agrees but as Fitz gets near him he puts up a fight… (This is getting quite concerning)

FIRBOLG CASTS HOLD PERSON. HOLY SHIT. BRO. (I did not know he could do that… damn alright…)

Clint your VA is so good I adore you so much. (I just need to tell him that he is doing an amazing job. Pulling at my heartstrings constantly)

Maplekeen shippers come get your angst (I don’t ship it myself but I cannot imagine what the tags are gonna look like after this bc damn…)

CLINT YOU NEED TO FUCKING GET RID OF THAT D20 DUDE

Gray is in Argo’s mindscape. Mother FUCKER.

Fitz casts Thunderwave at Gray on-site and a Lil to cocky like Gray puts up a hand to block it but underestimates Fitz and goes flying about 10ft back (This is… mmmmm yes I’m very comfortable with the energy we’ve created in the studio today)

“Stop fucking cheating!” (YO HE CURSED REALLY WELL!!!!!! He’s learning!)

YEAH! THAT’S RIGHT MOTHER FUCKER BE SURPRISED BY FITZ AND RUN AWAY YOU COWARD (God I hate this dude)

“Festo wouldn’t do anything to hurt me” *silence* (Sus)

The portal in the Chasm... ever-growing… Opalescent being with white eyes...

ORDER?!

I’m very intrigued. I enjoy how Fitz is annoyed instead of angry most of the time. It really brings into perspective that this is kinda a useless war that doesn’t need to happen. That also the Warforged from the last episode was onto something with the question of “why six months?).

#taz spoilers #taz g #tazg #tazgraduation #taz graduation #theadventurezone #the adventure zone #thezonecast #the zone cast #firbolg #tazfirbolg #taz firbolg #argonaut keene #sir fitzroy maplecourt #sir fitzroy maplecourt knight in absentia in the realm of goodcastle #chaos #demon prince gray

[obscureoperations]

i’ve had this random concept in my head of martin talking about his s/o on the radio and s/o hearing it and figuring out he’s the count possibly confronting him etc

Oh my god I love this idea! Some of my favorite scenes were when he was on the phone. The way the radio station was his outlet. I know he would talk to them if he met someone. Not completed, there will definitely be a part two. I’m in the middle of trying to go through my asks.

~ For the most part things had been going quite well, you had been seeing Martin for a little over a month. You first noticed him when you went into Cuda’s shop, he seemed to notice you as well, he was extremely flustered when you stepped to the check out. You made small talk as he bagged your items, he seemed to go out of his way not to look at you. When he finally did, you were taken aback, he was even more breathtaking up close. You made it a point to stop in almost every other day, eventually the two of you built up a sort of friendship. He told you when he was off, when he would usually go on break...after a few weeks you finally asked him out. You were a nervous wreck for some reason, even though he knew the worst he could do was say no. He agreed instantly, and things pretty much bloomed from there. At this point the two of you were practically inseparable.

You made it a point to get him away from the hose, you started to look at the old man in a different light. If Cuda was as bad as Martin said, you didn’t even feel comfortable spending money at the shop. Your relationship turned physical faster than you liked to admit, but being with Martin felt so natural. There was a certain type of innocence about him--but at times you felt as though he was hiding something. 

He canceled plans with you a couple nights ago, which was odd--he usually went out of his way just to see you. You tried not to give it much thought,after all he had his own life. He claimed it had something to do with the family. He made up for it ten fold the very next day, he didn’t leave your side until right before dinner. 

You were supposed to see him later tonight. He told you that he would crawl out of his window and meet you around ten. You already knew what that meant. He wanted to stay the night, and that was completely fine. You had the day off from work and kept yourself mostly preoccupied. Running errands, tidying up. You wouldn’t have to do laundry for weeks. A strange sort of anticipation bubbled at the pit of your stomach for mostly the entire day. You were excited to see him sure--but there was something else. He had been acting pretty strange lately. He was more tired than usual, shaky almost jittery. He seemed to be more prone to headaches. The light really bothered his eyes, he was thirstier than normal, when the two of you were together he was more dominant than you were used to. You knew he couldn’t possibly be on drugs. You planned to ask him if anything was wrong tonight--if there was you could surely help.

It was about eight thirty when you flounced onto the bed, already eagerly glancing over to the clock. Questions had been forming in your head for most of the day and at this point you just wanted to know if something was wrong. With a sigh, you decided to turn on the radio, maybe some music would calm your thoughts. You ended up settling on your favorite talk radio station-- you were so preoccupied lately you hadn’t listened to it in weeks.

“Alright guys looks like we have a special treat, Guess who’s decided to grace us with his presence tonight?!”

This weird cheesy spooky tone starts to play in the background “You guessed right...it’s the Count!”

Your eyebrow immediately shot up towards your forehead, you remember listening to that guy. You followed his story intently, it was in fact a little before you met Martin. The guy was odd...to say the least--but if anything a brilliant storyteller. He claimed to be some sort of vampire, he needed blood to survive--he’d been around for eighty four years. He would stalk his victims before sedating them with some type of drug-- after that he would drink their blood. It was… interesting to say the least. Not your typical idea of a vampire, but he always stressed that it’s not like in the movies. He didn’t have a whole lot of women fawning over him desperate for him to take them in the middle of the night. If anything, he just seemed like this lonely kid, you almost felt bad--he seemed to really believe what he was saying. You always tried to picture what he would look like. He had this odd...cryptic way of speaking. He almost reminded you of Martin in the way that he would phrase things. You knew it was virtually impossible. Imagine you dating an actual ‘’vampire’’

“It’s been a good while Count, how the hell are ya?”

“Good. Really good.”

“Alright Man! We were starting to get a bit worried, you pretty much vanished for a month. Our listeners were getting antsy!”

“They were?” You had to bite down on the insides of your cheeks. He sounded genuinely confused, it was actually pretty adorable.

“Yeah man! Every other day.. “Hey you guys hear from the Count… whatever happened to the count? Do you think he got caught?!”

“I’m fine… I’m always fine.”

“Good! Thats  really good. Ya gotta tell us, what the hell has been goin on with you? You scope out any new victims… are ya feeling shakey? What’s happenin’??”

“Well.. yes and no. I haven’t really felt shaky until recently. But thats all over now. I’m okay.”

“Ohhh did you find a new one? A pretty lady perhaps?”

“No! I-I mean… It was just a bum. I can’t really stalk them like I used to. I just really needed blood.”

“You can’t stalk them...what does that mean? The cops onto you?” Obnoxious fake sirens begin to play.

He’s silent for a moment. “Shit… too much I think we lost him. Count...Count are you there?”

“I’m  here.” He says after a moment. You were on your stomach, clutching a pillow beneath your chin. The more and more he spoke, his voice began to sound so familiar. 

“I sort of met someone…’

More obnoxious sound effects, you can hear bursts of confetti  and party horns.You rolled your eyes, you wanted him to ‘speak’ Why did he suddenly sound so much like Martin?

“You met someone Count?! See I told ya man...just give it some time. When did you meet em?”

“About two months ago..” Your heart instantly sunk. It wasn’t possible, nope. No way in hell.

“How did you meet them?”

“I-  It was through work. They came in, and they were so pretty. I just---”

He’s silent for a long while.  Your heart was practically beating out of your chest. You remember hearing him talk about someone who was new in town shortly before you and Martin first  met. He told the hosts that he saw them at the train station, he instantly just knew that they were for him. Jay and Rick continued to ask probing questions. Asking if he meant that he found his next victim. The Count vehemently denied, simply stating that they were simply beautiful. He just wanted to learn more. You had arrived in Braddock about three months ago, you tried your damndest to recall the train ride. Did you see anyone who looked remotely like Martin? The answer was no. Surely you would have spotted him.

“ So you’re seeing someone Count… what are they like?!”

“They’re amazing.” He answers immediately this time. 

“They like to talk a lot, but it’s okay. I can tell they really listen to me…”

“Count, you sound smitten. “

“I am. I get to see them later tonight.”

If you weren't already sitting down, you were sure that you would have fainted. There were hardly any questions now. This had to be Martin. You wanted to puke, yet you were almost relieved. Shortly before you met you were listening to the Count in a certain way. You were repulsed by his actions, but his story intrigued you. If you really thought about it, you had developed a bit of a crush.

“So tell us more.. Do they know how you feel?”

“I think so. I haven’t really thought about blood since we started doing the sexy stuff..”

More fake confetti and sirens, you roll your eyes. At this point, you were convinced that you were dreaming. This couldn’t be real, absolutely not. Martin?

“Oh ho hooo… so it’s like that? Do you see things progressing?”

“I do, I really do. But- I’m scared.”

“Scared of what man?”

Radio static, he’s silent for an inordinate amount of time. At this point you were practically trembling. A whirlwind of emotions. Shock, betrayal, disgust, and relief. You really needed to talk to him right now.

“I’m scared because I think I’ve fallen in love.. A- and when I tell them… I’m gonna tell them. About me. I just know they’re going to leave.”

You continued to lay in the same position for a little over an hour. So that was it. You were right. You had no idea when tears began to spill from your eyes, but they did,they practically soaked through the pillow. You couldn't find it in you to move, or even fetch the glass of water that you  so desperately craved. Your throat was dry, you had no idea why you were so upset-- Rather you did. 

Why couldn’t he just tell you?

Your heart practically leaps out of your chest when you hear a faint tap at the window.  You bolt up almost instantly, desperately wiping at your eyes. You looked a mess, there was no way to hide the fact  that you had been crying. With a deep breath, you unlock the window,

#Martin 1977 #martin 1978 #martin/reader #martin/you #Martin/gender neutral reader #I want the Count to talk about me!! #Oml I love this idea. #he actually loves them #they should be repulsed by the realization...but--

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

#tma #neptune's tma notes #notes #tma season 3

[out-of-this-dimension]

Spooky SF Headcanons

Happy Spoopy Day~  Hope everyone is well.  I thought I could celebrate on here with some spooky headcanons!

Venom

Venom is considered to be a haunted, cursed place. There are remnants of several civilizations scattered across the planet, the most prominent being the ancient Cornerus and the far more recent failed Cornerian Settlement Project.

Not much is known about the Cornerus or what happened to them but their ruins still haunt Venom’s eerie landscape. There are rumors of ghosts that dwell within, wailing in a state of perpetual limbo with eyes that can invoke madness.  Usually these ghosts do not stray far from the old Cornerus cities but occasionally there have been sightings in the jungles.  Most sightings are usually laughed off fearfully-- people don’t want to admit there might be a nugget of truth to any of these rumors but the amount of people who have seen something paranormal in the wilds is incredibly high.

The Cornerian Settlement Project happened quite some time before the Lylat Wars, before even the time of James McCloud, Peppy Hare, and General Pepper.  The project was a colonization effort to start a third planetary hub that would function as a center of trade with planets further from Corneria, such as Sauria and Cerinia.  Back then, Venom had a different name, tentatively called “Eden”, though that name was quickly nixed after the Settlement Project.  Although some experts had already scoped Venom out and had reported high levels of toxins in the air, most of those reports were dismissed by settlers.  The sight that followed the settlers arriving was allegedly one so traumatic that the survivors immediately ran back onto the ships in horror.  As soon as the first group arrived, over half their number dropped dead on boarding ramp, their lungs clotted with airborne poisons.  The survivors wished to leave but eventually did decide to settle the proposed colony area on Venom.  However, within two years, the colony was abandoned, even after measures were taken to try to purify the air.  It is said that not only did the air make it hard to populate the land but there was an unnatural force that pushed the Cornerians out-- a force no one could see but could feel.  A force that would dismantle bits of their infrastructure and haunt their government officials at night.  After the Project failed, the planet’s name was switched to Venom and it was used as a place for exile.

Of course, Venom has seen plenty of civilizations who survived the toxic atmosphere -- namely reptilians who have long made their home amid the jungles.  Though reptiles are not entirely uncommon in the Lylat System, the varieties seen on Venom were viewed with apprehension, no doubt stemming from the fact that the planet itself seemed cursed, so everything that lived there also carried that same stigma.  From these early discoveries of Venomian reptiles came legends of alien-like beasts that would thrive in the dark jungles, abducting Lylatians and feasting upon their flesh.

Fichina

Not many people would consider Fichina to be a terrifying planet-- after all, it’s home to sights such as the aurora borealis.  However its harsh climate has led to some terrifying discoveries over the years.

Fichina’s north and south pole clock the coldest temperatures in all of Lylat, however that has not stopped people from trying to live there, even those without any expertise in living in such harsh conditions.  Climate control centers dot the planet’s surface, trying to stabilize some of the weather in an attempt to play God.  However, there have been several cases of these climate control centers failing, resulting in lives being lost as entire cities are covered in blizzards.  Alternatively, heating systems connected to the climate control center have been known to occasionally fail, resulting in the worst case scenario imaginable-- entire cities frozen, its denizens inside, lifeless.

Yet despite the freezing temperatures, arctic animals often make their home on Fichina.  When Corneria arrived at first to establish peaceful negotiations with the Fichinans, they spread across the planet’s surface, even venturing out to reclusive villages up north.  One military officer reported back to Corneria with a chilling report that they had found several villages that had been infected by a sickness of some sort, turning most of their citizens (arctic wolves) into mindless creatures running berserk.  The Cornerians destroyed the village and all who were within to keep the sickness from spreading, later attributing it to something found in a local set of mines.  This report was eventually leaked to the public and twisted by media.  Over time, these barbaric, berserker wolves became something of a cryptic legend and there are claims some of them even still exist to this day.

Aquas

Though a planet that looks like a gleaming sapphire in the midst of space, Aquas is a planet drowning in a bloody history and filled with dark secrets.

It is believed that the monstrosity Bacoon destroyed the north and south poles of Aquas, flooding the continents with water.  This is a tale that has been believed by Cornerians for some time... but no one has really discovered how this was possible.  There has been some research done into this legend to ascertain the truth but no one knows for certain how the giant clam was able to do this.  There have been, however, strange shrines spotted on the ocean floor.  Shrines that bear an uncanny resemblance to shrines found on Venom and Sauria.  Did Bacoon... have help?  And if it did, what happened to that help?  

After the defeat of Bacoon, Corneria opted to help the planet recover from all of the pollution Andross had dumped into its waters.  When they did, they also decided to explore the planet, scoping it out as a possible location for a colony.  The planet was perfectly fine, they believed, just covered in water-- nothing that they could not possibly work around.  However, as they searched the planet, they chose to dive into its depths.  Not only were they met with abyssal, dark waters but their scanners indicated an assortment of gargantuan things that lurked far, far below the water’s surface-- things that perhaps had not even seen the light in hundreds of years.  Although the colony project was given the greenlight, there were many scientists unsure if it should have been approved of at all.  Many beg the question if Bacoon was ever really alone down there.

Exploration into Aquas’s ruins have uncovered what may have been religious worship of Bacoon.  Worship that eventually was abandoned, resulting in the beast growing enraged.  Some of these depictions of worship include bloody sacrifices to the clam.

Eladard

Eladard’s surface is a nightmarish tangle of factories and cities, the planet’s environment completely disregarded. Eladard has become something of a junk planet, filled with graveyard-like dump sites.

Eladard’s capital city saw its fair share of strife after the planet was abandoned by wealthy Cornerians looking to profit off the planet.  The worst of its strife stemmed from its self-proclaimed mayor, who ruled the city with an iron fist and his own personal army of mobsters.  After he was dethroned and killed by mercenaries, his manor’s grounds were investigated.  Countless bodies were found on the site, some even taxidermied and kept in a trophy room.  The entire manor was burned to the ground and his body was allegedly burned with it.  The grounds now stand empty, just outside of town, charred.  Some folks have since tried to revitalize the area... but for some strange reason, nothing ever seems to grow there.  Not even grass.

Eladard’s clusters of factories have seen their fair share of work accidents.  From these accidents, occasionally there have been deaths.  And from these deaths have occasionally been ghost sightings-- usually late at night, from the graveyard shift.  Sometimes when the workers are packing up, they will swear they see their late coworkers, occasionally looking as though they are clocking in.  Other times, they can be seen across Eladard’s nightmarish landscapes, wandering about the factories aimlessly, as if they are unable to rest.

Space

Space... the final frontier some say.  But despite being beautiful, it is a silent, haunting place.

Tales of the unknown are common among pilots, particularly space-faring ones.  But one of the most haunting sights is near Sector Omega, where one of the final fights happened in the Lylat Wars.  It is said that there is a spaceship graveyard still out there, debris floating in limbo for all eternity.  It consists of both Cornerian and Venomian ships, abandoned by their respective sides and left to drift forever. 

Every so often within the asteroid belt of Meteo, pilots have reported a strange portal.  Of course not many dare approach it out of fear... but a few brave souls have, plunging into the unknown fearlessly.  They disappear within and usually are found days later, sometimes on the other side of the Lylat System, babbling about strange lights and even stranger noises.  Each of them has described a world where reality is distorted and the laws of physics don’t seem to make sense.  All of their descriptions are similar with a few tweaks here and there-- moons with sneering faces, comets made of rainbows, strange random objects floating about, and strange, terrifying creatures lurking within.  Each and every account ends with the pilot being led to safety by something they can only describe as “the Whale”.  It should be noted that all of the pilots have experienced some sort of psychosis from prolonged exposure to this strange dimension and have all been needed to be hospitalized.  Cornerian officials from the CDF have looked into the matter but the findings have not been made public.

#star fox #starfox #venom #long post #headcanons #star fox headcanons #starfox headcanons #fichina #aquas #bacoon #eladard #spooky headcanons #out of this dimension #meteo #ok some of these are heavily based off of canon but like eh i put a small bit of my own spin on it

[yikes-strikes-again]

rating: gen word count: 2271 tags: angst, hurt/comfort, light on the comfort part, canon compliant, the slaughter, the corruption, season 5 spoilers, episode: e163, spoilers for episode: e163, spooky eye powers             summary: Martin learns exactly what happens if Jon doesn't give his statements. Inspired by a line from episode 177. Takes place between episodes 163 and 164.

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Buried in the wreckage of the blasted wasteland, a typewriter began clicking rapidly.

With soles caked in mud, they crunched through what must have been leagues of the trenches - though, obviously, there was no way to tell. No way to tell how far they had traveled or how far they had yet to go. The Panopticon-Institute remained on the horizon, ever-distant and always looming.

The sounds of war were not far away. Once in a while, artillery fire would tear the silence apart, ripping through the walls of bunkers and causing a throbbing, painful ringing in the ears. Jon and Martin would hold onto each other for support, though often they would still fall into the wet and sloshing ground, caking their clothing in another layer of grime. But here, the danger was less immediate than it was miles ago. Slower, in wounds rather than weapons.

Countless soldiers nursed the bandaged stumps of lost limbs, ones either amputated or blown off. In the case of the former, the procedure rarely prevented infection from spreading through the victim’s veins with each beat of their heart, or cleanly excised the deepest strains of necrotized tissue. They knew this, of course. They knew that they would only get sicker, and the knowledge terrorized them even more than the certain death that lay not a meter above.

Clouds of flies thicker than pudding swarmed around the dead. Well, one hoped they were dead. It was hard to tell when everyone seemed to be on the verge of permanent collapse, either from mortal injury, illness, or an overdose of grief. It didn’t matter why - when someone laid down in this place, they never got up again.

It was calmer on this side of the trenches. Quieter. But in the quelling of the chaos, it gave Martin a chance to process how awful it all was, and that was worse.

He looked at Jon. If he had to guess, he’d say that Jon was faring worse than Martin was. There was a hard set to his shoulders, and he spoke little save to warn Martin of danger or obstacles. When he did speak, his voice was terse and irritable. Martin rarely got a glimpse of his eyes, but when he did, he saw that Jon’s pupils were erratic and searching.

Both of them had been quiet for days, weeks perhaps, ever since Jon had ranted like a madman in that bunker, surrounded by all those catatonic people. Martin didn’t understand  why  he had to do that, why he was compelled to speak of all the awful things that were already upon them, only that something bad would happen if he didn’t. He had made it clear that Jon would find no audience for his ramblings in Martin, and Jon had accommodated that thus far.

Martin stopped at the turn of the trench, finding a more gentle slope of the wall to rest his shoulder upon, though the soil was damp and rancid-smelling. He didn't feel fatigue, but his shoes were not meant for hiking, and they were uncomfortable. He was soaked to the bone, filthy, and freezing cold, and he really wanted to know when he could stop being that way.

Jon stopped so suddenly that his boots skidded on the mud and he had to sway to keep his balance.

“What is it now, Martin?”

There was no resignation to his voice, no apathy or even frustration, unlike before. Just pure, stifled anger, and the cryptic storm brewing from behind his eyes.

Martin looked at him pleadingly. “Can’t you tell me anything about how long we’ve still got to walk? At least until we get out of… this place.”

Jon sighed the sigh of a parent who had been asked “Are we there yet?” by their impatient child one too many times. “Like I said the first two thousand times, time and space  do not exist in the way they once did. When the world was whole and there existed minds who knew not of terror.” He cringed almost imperceptibly, and scrubbed at his temples with his palms. “As much as I hate to hear the phrase myself, we will get there when we  get  there.”

It felt silly to complain about someone’s bad attitude when they were in a literal hellscape, but Martin didn’t like the way he’d started speaking through gritted teeth. He wanted respite from this particular nightmare, yes, but he also wanted to know why Jon was so angry.

Martin didn’t get the sense that it would do any good to ask him, though.

He sighed. “It’s been so long.  What if we never get there? Just wandering in circles in a never-ending trench.”

“Well, Martin, we  will never get there if we keep stopping to burrow a nightmare and ceaseless frenzy.”

He paused to consider that. He figured he’d heard wrong - his hearing was still a bit muted from the gunfire. “What?”

“I said, we’ll never get there if gangrene blisters or sanguine bagpipes.”

“What?  What the hell does that mean?”

Jon made an irritated noise, then spoke slowly as if talking to someone who was very stupid. “Agony bore a bloody sickle for crushing the sleepless.”

Martin stared at him, and narrowed his eyes, gripped by a dawning horror that had nothing to do with the disease and death that surrounded him. “Jon, you’re not making any sense.”

Some of the anger faded from Jon’s expression. Then, suddenly, he clutched at his head with both hands as if in pain. His eyes widened, focusing briefly on Martin before returning to the million things that only he could see.

“Sever,” he said pointedly. And, as if spurred on by something, he continued, both voice and body shaking with intensity. “Limbs metallic see bloated warhead and vicious gas spitting cauterize through. Spleen pale cannon warhead bile where tetanus sinews. And gore and ring and soldier visceral from bodies brother teeth for rancid crimson darkness.” He spoke with such terrible certainty, as if he fully expected Martin to comprehend the meaning of every word.

The corners of Martin’s mouth became taut, but since smiling requires the pretense of happiness, he did not smile. “Listen, Jon, I know we’re both under a lot of stress, but this is a really bad way to try and lighten the mood, okay? It’s not funny. You’re scaring me.” He drew a sharp and shaking breath and released it in a hollow imitation of laughter. “What’s the matter with you, anyway? Are you just taking something out on m—”

“Chaotic laughter and screeching god.” Jon’s eyes were on him, but they weren’t looking at him. They were wild, desperate. Something awful was happening to him, something that caused him to forget how to stand, that ceaselessly filled his mind with secondhand terrors, that stole his voice and gave it to the neverending flood of words that rose like bile from his throat. “Iron hands, jettison liver, with heroic terror bullets and mottled rage buzzing, burning and lungs gone. Necrotized gurney which hell hath nuclear rot aching, whose shivering eye orders and despairs, immobile river filth screaming for prison and tear—”

“Jon, stop!” Martin pushed off the wall and stumbled over to where Jon had slipped onto the filthy earth. He shook him. “Snap out of it!”

“— off running, smoke and cloth the bacteria acrid, with hungry singing comrade forever hidden. Writhing from crater, sobbing but the fever moans flaking to clinging, melting daggers. Helpless pathway churning through exploding infinity—”

Martin was nearing his wits’ end. He dragged Jon, who went limp, into a nearby dugout, so tiny that sunlight still shone across most of its floor. He tried to block out the onslaught of babbled nonsense that somehow evoked a thousand nightmarish images as clear as day, but Jon’s voice had taken on that quality that made it impossible not to listen. He continued to shake him with repetitive, mechanical regularity, but as the words bore into his brain Martin’s movements grew weak and yielding.

Jon lay on Martin’s lap, staring far beyond the dirt ceiling. “Gorging jaws of metal death surround your blood-borne reach towards distant jargon, but surreal enemy adrenaline has harrowed pathological exaltations. Barbed manslaughter. Feeding warfare. Stinging trigger…”

His eyes fell to him for a split second. “Martin,” he said, and Martin remembered to breathe. But the moment was gone as quick as it had come, and Jon was launched into another disjointed tirade.

If the hands of his watch spun as reliably as they once had, Martin might have found that he sat crouched in that dugout for exactly six hours and thirty-four minutes, keeping Jon’s back out of the mud. But, for what it was worth, it felt like years. Jon continued his nonsensical ranting, scarcely stopping to breathe, and from the way he desperately spat the words one got the feeling that he wished he didn’t have to. His voice rose and fell at random, reaching sudden and unpredictable climaxes of raving and shouting before settling back into a listless murmur. Trying to ignore him was an exercise in futility. Every few words a new, terrible image would implant itself into Martin’s mind, and then another, and another, together weaving a tapestry of terror from the thread of Jon’s omnipotent train of thought. He couldn’t stop listening, and Jon couldn’t stop talking, so whenever Martin’s thoughts weren’t drowned out by the bile of the Beholding they were filled with despair.

Would this never end? Were they doomed to rot in this place, their minds slowly unraveled by the power of the Eye filtered only by Jon’s droning voice? Would they never move again, like all the rest in this awful place, locked in a stony embrace like some warped parody of The  Pietà?

Martin couldn’t know. But in between terrors, it was all he could imagine as tears ran down his face.

It was a small mercy that this particular fear of Martin’s wasn't due to come about just yet. The first clue was that the flood of words had slowed to a trickle. The second was that when Jon paused for breath, it was deeper and less hurried than before. His voice had lost its former vigor, and it was all Martin could hope that he had finally started to exhaust himself.

“... never respite from wretched hope… singe a coagulated daylight swarm… justice not for careening wails… farewell… slaughter,” he paused, panting. “Finished” was too hopeful a word, and his voice carried no note of finality.

But there was a blessed silence. Martin expected it to end at any moment, but it stretched on as the seconds passed. There were distant cries of war, and the sound of Jon trying to make up for the breath he’d lost, but it all faded into nothing in the presence of the euphoric silence.

Several minutes passed this way, and it was only then that Martin dared to speak with the expectation that he’d get a response.

“Jon,” he began, finally daring to make eye contact - his otherworldly gaze had been far too intense to meet, before - and found that Jon was seeing him again. “What… happened?”

He blinked at Martin. There was another silence, shorter and more deliberate than the last, but less comfortable. “I—” He cleared his throat. “I think… I just…” He grabbed his temples with both hands and winced, and Martin pulled them both out of the light.

A moment’s migraine, and Jon collected himself. “There’s just… so much. Fear. Everywhere we go, from everyone in the world. I see it all. I  feel  it all.” Martin listened passively, despair replaced by a deep frustration. He knew this, and Jon knew how he felt about being his… receptacle for it all. But he didn’t interrupt.

“We have been through a domain of The Slaughter, and are now passing into one of The Corruption. I’ve been… accumulating more and more of The Slaughter’s fear all this time, and now that we’re leaving it… I suppose it wanted me to let it out. Now or never.” He paused. “And... I  have  to let it out, willingly, or else…”

“This happens.”

Jon sighed. “Apparently.”

Martin considered this, wondering if Jon could see the tear tracks that had left clean paths down his otherwise dirty face.

“Why didn’t you just give a statement? You know…  before  it was forced out of you?”

Jon looked at his hands for a long time. Then, in a small, guilty voice, he said, “I was trying to keep it inside.”

“Keep it inside?  Why?  ”

“I thought…” He covered his mouth in the gesture of one whose face burned with shame. “I thought I could control it, if I just willed it hard enough. These trenches… too long. Too narrow. There was nowhere for you to go. I didn’t want to stop, and I didn’t want to leave you.”

Martin stopped, and he softened. “Jon.” He sighed through his nose, and placed his hand on the back of Jon’s head. Then he brought him up into an embrace. “This was worse.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” he murmured into Martin’s neck.

“... I’m just glad you’re okay.”

They stayed like that for an undefinable amount of time, relishing the only avenue of comfort available to them anymore. Then, with Jon clinging to Martin for support, they climbed to their feet, and set out under the sky again, which had at some point shifted from violent red to a sickly yellow. A new understanding dawned on them both, mostly Martin, who resolved to allow Jon his space when he needed to… vent.

He only wished the knowledge hadn’t had to come from personal experience.

Something lurking in the ruins ripped the page off the typewriter, and its keys never made a noise again.

#the magnus archives #tma #jonmartin #fanfiction #horror #angst #h/c #tma season 5 spoilers #yikes original tag #yikes tma tag