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#( Annie too powerful for god )
givemethatgold · 2 days ago
Fix’er Upper - part 18
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Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader Warnings: car chase, collision, mentions of injuries, swearing Word Count: 1.6k Notes: Thank you for your patience, my freaky darlings! I took some time away for family, and myself, and the plants. But I’m hopefully back to regularly scheduled programming! Also, I’m posting this pretty much as soon as I finish typing so forgive all mistakes, repetitive words, and lack of description. I need to post to get back into my groove!
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Terror. Sheer, powerful, unadulterated terror. Frankie had experienced his fair share of the emotion but no other experience could have prepared him for this. Fearing for oneself was a whole, separate exercise in mental fortitude and forcing one's body to react in either a flight or fight response. Fearing for a brother-in-arm's life was different still, as in those situations he knew the man was trained to survive the circumstances. Or die trying. Frankie shoved the image of Tom's face, dead eyes frozen wide with shock; he had no time to spare on the past.
You were in danger, you weren't trained to protect yourself, and you had called him knowing that he would come to you. With a renewed sense of urgency, he shifted his truck into a higher gear and prayed to whatever gods were listening that he wouldn't be too late. Too late for what? Who the fuck knew. Some tourist with road rage? A local drunk on a bender, thinking scaring people makes for great entertainment? As he swerved around a corner, back end fishtailing on the loose gravel, Annie let out a yelp of fear that nearly made Frankie slam on the brakes. He had been so focused on getting to you, the terror in your voice had caused his heart to seize up so tight, he hadn't fully thought about the effect all of this would have on his daughter. A lead weight dropped on his chest as he continued to drive, albeit slightly slower, and Frankie's mind raced with a way to assure Annie. He wished you were here, he knew you'd know the perfect thing to say to get the little girl to crack a smile. You were capable of pulling anyone you met out of a funk, hell you'd even calmed him down from that epic panic attack on the Ferris wheel. A light switched on in Frankie's mind and, taking a page right out of your handbook, he started to talk. About anything and everything. "Y'know I used to just drive around when I first moved here? I didn't know anyone and got bored after work, so I'd just drive around and be nosey checking out all the other farms. I even copied a couple of them when I build some of the smaller pens and sheds, but shhh-" he winked at her over his shoulder "-don't tell Applejack that, she thinks I'm creative." "I think you are," came a soft voice, wavering with unshed tears. "You made a home out of that tiny little space you live in. That's impressive for an old person!" If he wasn't so happy that he's pulled her from her petrified state, he'd be offended. Old person.
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"Turn here Mom," you practically screamed, fear disabling your volume control, "Mom! Here! TURN!" You were bellowing in her ear now, panicked by her lack of action.
Margot wasn't even listening, her wide eyes hadn't left the road since your phone call with Frankie had ended. Her breath was coming in rapid, shallow pants and you were certain there would be permanent dents in your steering wheel from how tight she was clutching it. Trying to calm your tone, you took a deep breath and tried to communicate again without compounding your mom's panic. "Margot. You need to turn. I don't know where this road goes. Take the next right!" The truck following you hadn't rammed into you again, but it kept trying to come up alongside and you were scared that they intended to push you off the road. As the next intersection came and went with Margot refusing to slow down enough to turn, your chest tightened and unshed tears burned behind your eyes. "Goddammit, Mom! You don't get to run from this bullshit again! You have to face the bad shit sometimes, running from it isn't gonna solve anything!" Were you talking about more than the current shit storm? Yes. Did you think screaming at your mother, who was frozen with fear, was going to actually help? No, but you needed an outlet for your fear and she was an easy target. After the next range road came and passed you snapped. Unlatching your seatbelts, you scrambled across the back of the bench seat until you were squishing yourself between the driver's door and your mom. Forcibly hip-checking her out of your way and taking control of the vehicle.
You glanced into the rearview mirror, fearful of what you'd see. Your triple take might have been comical under different circumstances, as it was you let out a disbelieving laugh. No one was there. No dust clouds from a retreating vehicle.  Nothing. You came to a stop, sitting there for a minute, bewildered. What the hell had just happened? Getting out of the truck you went to examine the rear bumper partially to assess the damage, partially to reassure yourself that you weren't crazy and it had in fact happened. Trying to call Frankie to tell him what had happened, you only got his voicemail. Once you climbed back into the driver's seat you belatedly checked on your mom. She was sitting ramrod straight in her seat, face pale and tight, and she refused to acknowledge your reassurances. "Please, just take me back to the B and B," was all she said before clamming up again. "Okay, mom, let's do that," you agreed softly, regretting how harshly you'd spoken to her in your moments of terror.
Finally turning right, you brought up the navigation app on your phone trying to see how far you'd overshot the intersection where Frankie had said he'd meet you. Trying to teach Margot how to use any facet of a smartphone was not something you wanted to struggle with, so you risked the distraction. You were too busy counting roads and trying to figure out how to get back to an area that you were familiar with, you didn't see the dust cloud up ahead. The dry, dirt road getting kicked up by a dark blue crew cab barreling down the intersecting road. Margot was too spaced out to notice that the oncoming vehicle wasn't slowing down for their signaled stop. The impact threw your whole body into the door, your head smashing against the windowpane. Tires screeched, metal screamed, and broken glass tinkled as the blue truck began pushing yours further to the side of the road. You were too dazed to do anything but blearily look around, noticing the blood running down your mom's temple and the way that glass shards reflected the evening sun. Your truck suddenly pitching to one side had your brain snapping to attention in a flash, you were being pushed off the road. If that weren't terrifying enough, there was a creek running at the bottom of it. The low guard rail was catching your tires, mercifully preventing your vehicle from slipping sideways and down into the rusty coloured water below. You tried to restart your truck, your hands were shaking so badly you could barely hold onto the key long enough to turn it. Margot was unresponsive to your calls, all you could do was pray it was from the shock of the impact as you didn't have the time to perform any kind of assessment or first aid. 
You had to get out of here. The blue truck backed up and you sobbed with relief, thinking they were over whatever road rage had caused this madness. That sob turned into a scream when you realized there were backing up to ram you over the guardrail. Your hands reached out to grasp your mom's as your eyes squeezed shut, not wanting the last thing you saw to be the bright lights and chrome grill of a madman. Nothing happened. Tires squealed but there was no impact. Cracking open an eye, you looked out and for the second time, the truck was gone. This time, however, there was another vehicle rapidly approaching. Once they got close enough, you could see who was driving. The relief was felt throughout your entire body, the sudden dissipation of adrenaline allowed it to succumb to its injuries. First, your head began to throb, wet heat soaked your shirt, and then your vision went blurry. Frankie racing across the gravel, fear and rage marring his rugged face, was the last thing you saw before your vision went black.
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Beep. Beep. Beep...
Annie's alarm was going off. You could hear it, and knew you should get out of bed and wake her, but your body wasn't cooperating for some reason. You tried to reach over to wake Frankie, but your arm wouldn't move. The beeping kept going but the noise, you belatedly realized, wasn't her alarm clock. Trying to open your eyes, you were blinded by the morning sun coming through the blinds, which was weird because you were always so careful to close them. Then, pain. So much pain. Your head, your eyes, your neck, shoulder, elbow, hips, ribs, even your damn big toe hurt. Hurt hurt. Opening your eyes again, bracing for the light this time, you were able to take in the tile ceiling, the pale yellow walls, and the IV bags hanging near the center of your bed. It all came back, crashing into your mind like a giant wave. The argument, your mom storming off, you tracking her down as she was taking off in the only vehicle, letting her drive off some steam and forcing her to have a conversation with you, her honking away her frustration at a guy who took 0.7 seconds to start moving once the light turned green. The chase... the impacts... Frankie. A strange sobbing whine escaped your throat as your brain played the scene of him running towards your truck over and over again. You'd never forget, as long as you lived, the look of devastation on his face. "Hi there, beautiful. You're awake."
Part Nineteen - June 22
TAGS: yeah gurrrrls Imma try this again
@rebelliouscat @pedro4ever @speakerforthedead0 @yespolkadotkitty @ilikechocolatemilkh @weirdowithnobeardo @pedro-pastel @disgruntledspacedad @a-skov @trash-dino-5000 @reader-s-cantina @alberta-sunrise @pascal-rascal424 @bts17army @sarahjkl82-blog @grogusmum @radiowallet @vonschweetz @greeneyedblondie44 @diaryofkali @cassandras-nest @silverstarsandsuns @haapeaness @missstef23 @computeringturtle @julesorwhatever @keeper0fthestars @lackofhonor @metahigh @thirstworldproblemss @sergeantbannerbarnes @callsigncatfish @inaturenymph @agingerindenial @pedritobalmando @lord-of-restingbiface @marydjarin @sebbys-girl @apascalrascal @thisshipwillsail316 @bison-writes @absurdthirst @ubri812 @marydjarin @inaturenymph @hyperfixatingmenever @louderrthanthunderr @petersunderoos96 @dobbyjen @tobealostwanderer @studyofawearymind @captainjaspenor @prettypedros @gracie7209 @peterhollandkait @jaime1110 @bisonwrites @rosiefridayrogersunday @leias-rebelion 
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sunlightandsuffering · 5 days ago
This mikasa was raised by Levi and Kenny 🙄 they have a love hate relationship with eren.
Eremika were childhood besties so they’ve known Eren since he was a kid. They know he wouldn’t do anything outlandish as long as it included her but they don’t exactly approve 😭 Kenny just thinks it’s all really funny. Gets a kick out of Eren. Levi just wishes she took in the family gene of being gay and dated that Annie girl from highschool.
Eren taking miki to her first party and getting her drunk for the first time (he stays sober bc duhh he’s responsible when it comes to her) and he just looks at her while they’re walking to his motorcycle her sleeves are falling off her shoulders and her face is pink and she’s smiling up at him babbling some nonsense 🥺 thats the first time he truly realized he liked her. Before it was all teasing (he isn’t dumb, he has always known that she liked him and it was cute to see her go red) but now he doesn’t want her to look at anyone.
Eren sorTa internalizes everything people say about him... not that they’re wrong but that’s why doesn’t pursue her even though he knows she likes him. Always knows she’s his though 🙄
oh eren would totally get Mikasa drunk and he'd love every moment. Because she's clingy and about 5000 times more bold when she's drunk so he just fucking loves to have her in his lap the entire time and he gets to feed her snacks and have everyone else at the party be jealous as fuck, because she's his to do as he pleases with.
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promenadewithme · 23 days ago
Heyy, congratulations on 50 followers! Could you write something for Finnick Odair (fluff with a little bit of angst?) based on the lyrics "How would you feel, if I told you I loved you? It's just something that I want to do, I'll be taking my time, spending my life, Falling deeper in love with you, So tell me that you love me too" from 'How would you feel' with a female reader. Please make whatever changes you want, absolutely adore all your writing :))
Ok so I loved this request because I love Finnick so much!! I really hope you like this! I'm sorry I took a bit longer to write this, I had a lot of uni work and studying to do this week.
requested by @boxofsilentwords
This is my first Finnick fic, so I'm nervous... Any and all feedback is more than welcome!
Pairing: Finnick Odair x Female! Reader
Song: How Would You Feel - Ed Sheeran
Warnings: Mentions of killing (nothing graphic), swearing, the hunger games, pining, fluff. Just before the 75th Hunger Games (Catching fire book/movie), but I changed the plot a bit so it would fit the story, Mags doesn’t go with Finnick, the reader does. 
Word Count: 1,2k
Divider made by me on @promenadewithme-graphics​
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How Would You Feel
There were soldiers surrounding all the victors as you got up on the platform. Your whole body was shaking. ‘Why is this happening? I already won! I’m not supposed to be here’. You looked to your right and saw your best friend, Finnick Odair, and 3 other male tributes. To your left was Annie Cresta and Mags, who was squeezing your hand.
“As always, ladies first!” said the district 4 escort with a wild grin. You don’t understand how they slept at night, sending people off to fight to their deaths every year, watching like it’s fiction. These were real people, who had families, lives, dreams. You had dreams. 
The escort grabbed one of the envelopes and walked back to the microphone.
“Let’s see...” he opened it and with glee he exclaimed “(y/n) (y/l/n)! Come on over, dear!” 
You looked at Finnick with desperation in your eyes before giving Mags’ hand one last squeeze and walking away. You felt like the world around you was shrinking, like there was no air to breathe. The escort’s voice was but a whisper until your heard what you dreaded more than your own death.
“Finnick Odair!” you looked at your best friend with fear in your eyes. Most would be happy to go into the arena with an ally, but this was Finn. This was your Finn. Well, you couldn’t exactly call him yours, you two were just friends. But you have always loved him. Despite his many lovers, you always stood by him, hoping he would see you. He never did.
“May the odds be ever in your favour.” 
‘And let the hunger games begin’ you thought, looking over at Finnick. He was looking back at you with a plain face, but you could see the pure terror in his eyes. ‘The arena messes with all of us, no matter how tough or brave you are. What happens when you go in twice?’
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“And those two are Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark from District 12, they won last year’s game.” depicted your escort. You and Finnick were staying at the tributes building. Fourth floor for district 4, as per usual. Over the past days you had come to terms with the fact that you were going back into the arena. That didn’t mean you weren’t scared shitless.
“What else do you know about them?” asked the man. You had watched the games last year. For the first time, you actually liked the victors. So you exposed what you knew.
“Katniss is a hunter, excellent with a bow and arrow, great survival instincts. Peeta is very strong and good at camouflage. The two of them are getting married. Well... at least they were before all this.” you frowned and Finnick scoffed.
“Do you seriously believe that they are in love? They must be jumping with joy that they get to call it off.” he shook his head.
“What do you mean? You saw the games last year, they are obviously in love. They were going to die together.” you refuted, turning to face him.
“Please! The two tributes that are chosen are actually secretly love each other to the point that they would die for one another, they both win the game and live happily ever after? This is the real world, (y/n). These things don’t happen.”
Your heart tightened, but he was right. The couple had given you hope that maybe Finnick would love you too, that even the worst situations could bring some sort of happiness. You now realised it wouldn’t happen. Your love was unrequited, the two of you were going to the arena, but only one of you would come out. If both of you weren’t killed, that is.
“You’re right, they don’t.” you frowned. Your escort continued to talk about the games and how to look good in the eyes of the public, but you didn’t care. It’s not like you’d make it out alive a second time. You barely did the first, in the 66th hunger games.
You went in a year after Finnick, you were so young and so was he. Maybe that's why the two of you bonded in the first place, having to be strong so early in life isn't something easy. Having to carry the weight of killing that young isn't either.
"Excuse me." you muttered before going to your room, Finnick following suit.
"What's wrong?" he demanded.
"What's wrong? Are you seriously asking me that? What's wrong?!" you exclaimed. "What's wrong is that we already went through this. What's wrong is that this happens every fucking year and no one does anything to stop it. What's wrong is that I am terrified that I'll die, or even worse, that you'll die. Because I don't think I can live without you." tears were streaming down your face as you continued, voice getting lower with each sentence "What's wrong is that I am head over heels in love with you, have been for years now by the way, and you never even noticed me."
You gasped and covered your mouth. What have I done? you thought as Finnick looked at you in shock.
"What?" he mumbled.
"Nothing, just please forget I ever said anything." you begged, going into the bathroom. Yet again, Finnick followed you.
"You love me?" he gawked.
"No?" you tried answering, but it came out sounding like a question. You wanted to dig a hole where you could hide, you were mortified. But when you looked at Finn, he was grinning.
"You love me!"
"Oh God." you hid your face in your hands "Please don't tease me about this."
You felt a pair of hands on yours, removing them from your face.
"Look at me." he whispered. You hesitated for a second, but did what he said. He was smiling softly at you.
"How would you feel if I told you I loved you?" he asked and it was your turn to be shocked.
"It's just something that I want to do. Well, I've been wanting to do it for a while now. I just didn't know you felt the same." he confided and you grinned, but it quickly turned into a frown.
"What do we do? The games- We..." tears were forming in your eyes again. He put his arms around you in a tight hug.
"I'll get us both out, I swear I will." he vowed.
"You can't promise me that, Finn. There can only be one victor."
"There was an exception last year, why can't we do it again? But that's no what I'm planning. There's- " he stopped for a second "I can't tell you right now what I know, but I promise we will get out. And after that," he smiled at you, caressing your face "I'll be taking my time, spending my life, falling deeper in love with you. So tell me that you love me too."
You wanted to argue with him, make him tell you, but you didn't want to ruin the moment. So, you put your head on his chest and let him hold you.
“I love you, Finnick.” you mumbled into his chest, wishing it could last forever. Wishing you didn't have to go back to the arena or at least that the odds would truly be in your favour.
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magnusmysteries · 24 days ago
Part 20: The Adventures of Father Burroughs
The Magnus Archives was a horror podcast. It is now completed. Many of the show’s mysteries were never explained on the show. I intend to explain them. Spoilers for the show, but also spoilers if you wanna solve these mysteries yourself.
This post concerns the episodes Burned Out, Confession and Desecrated Host. 
What was going on with the tree at Hill Top Road? It was of the Spiral and it had trapped some aspect of the Web. The Web schemed to destroy the tree and free that aspect.
What suggests the tree is of the Spiral? It’s complicated and I’ll explain more in the next post. But I’ll give one reason now: it takes two people marked by the Spiral to destroy the tree. Burroughs to cast an exorcism, and Ivo to uproot the tree.
This is similar to when the Not-Them were trapped by the Web table. Why didn’t the Not-Them simply destroy the table? Or if they couldn’t do it themselves, because the Stranger is the opposite of the Spider, why not just pay some regular person to do it? I think only someone marked by the Spider could do it, such as John.
Ivo is marked by the Spiral, like his father was. He’s afraid he has schizophrenia.
Ivo gets the job at Hill Top Road, because the other worker got jury duty. He wouldn’t normally do extra work at night, but now his fiancé is off at a conference, so he might as well. I think that’s the Web arranging that jury duty and that conference. Secret schemes to get a Spiral marked worker in place.
The Web has also brought some entity of the Desolation to Hill Top Road, something other than Agnes. I’ll explain why in the next post. The entity attacks Ivo, because Ivo is marked by the Spiral, and the Desolation and the Spiral are opposites (see part 3). Ivo can’t move and he feels like he’s burning up. Then Father Burroughs shows up and the heat goes away. 
Burroughs does the exorcism. Ivo goes outside and suddenly gets a weird urge to destroy the tree. That’s the web manipulating him to do that. Specifically I think that’s the nurse Annie manipulating him. Annie works for the Web.
Annie needed a Spiral marked exorcist. When Bethany was sent to the hospital, Father Burroughs says Bethany asked to see him immediately, and he was told this via Annie. I think Annie was lying, Bethany never said that. Annie is the one that convinces Burroughs to do an exorcism. Annie is present at the exorcism, perhaps manipulating the demon to possess Burroughs.
Annie later sends Burroughs to Hill Top Road. There he is attacked by the Desolation entity, again because the Desolation hates the Spiral. Then Burroughs lips form the words “I am not for you. I am marked.” Because of this the Desolation entity does not kill him.
Burroughs thinks it’s the demon inside him that makes him speak the words. He is wrong. The Desolation hates the Spiral, and would not have been swayed by the Spiral to not kill Burroughs. It’s the Web that is manipulating Burroughs to say it, probably via Annie. Remember, the Spiral demon can only change the senses of the victim, not affect their actions.
Now some of you might object, doesn’t the demon prevent Burroughs from saying God? Doesn’t it control his speech? Burroughs thinks so, but I think the demon is just changing what he hears when he tries to say God. So he stops speaking ‘cause he hears the word is wrong. And in fact, there is one instance where Burroughs does manage to say the word God. Quote: “And yet, I cannot stress this enough: what answered was not G- God.” And this happens just when Burroughs is discussing the incident with the Desolation entity. So I think that’s a hint from the author about what’s going on.
Another point: Burroughs is or was a smoker. In Desecrating Host we learned he stole money to buy cigarettes. Addicts are more easily manipulated by the Web.
Anyway, the Desolation entity spares Burroughs, because the entity is cooperating with the Web. The exorcism is performed and the tree uprooted. Below where the tree was, Ivo finds the box from the web table with an apple full of spiders. This shows an aspect of the Web has been freed.
In Infectious Doubts Gertrude compares how she is bound to Agnes is similar to how Raymond Fielding was bound to the house on Hill Top Road. I think more specifically he was bound to the tree. That the aspect of the Web trapped under the tree was part of Fielding and he probably had to remain close to the tree.
After Fielding was dead and the tree uprooted, I think the freed aspect of the Web could be used again. I think it was used to create a powerful Web avatar, namely Annabelle Cain. The tree was uprooted in 2006. Annabelle was made an avatar in 2010.
Now for the weird stuff. As Burroughs tells it, he performs the exorcism on Bethany. She was a second year student. Then a few years later he performs the exorcism at Hill Top Road. Then one or two days later he attends the hallucinatory mass and is arrested.
This does not match the real timeline. Bethany started studying in 2008. So she was a second year student in 2009, when she died. The exorcism at Hill Top Road happened in 2006, according to Burned Out. And the arrest of Burroughs happened in 2009.
Here’s what happens. Annie is a time traveler. In the original timeline Bethany begins studying in 2006 and is a second year student in 2007. Father Burroughs performs the exorcism and she dies in 2007. Two years go by. Annie asks Burroughs to perform an exorcism at Hill Top Road. When Burroughs goes to Hill Top Road, Annie sends him back in time to 2006. Burroughs does the exorcism, the tree is uprooted. Annie sends Burroughs forwards in time to 2009, and he attends the mass as is arrested.
The Web tries to cover up the time travel. When Burroughs travels back in time there are two father Burroughs. (And as Annie probably came with him, there are two Annies. More on that in a later post). The Web wants Father Burroughs' memories to match the real timeline, so they make Bethany become a student in 2008 instead. They make sure the exorcism happens with the second father Burroughs as well, trying to match what happened the first time. When the older father Burroughs shows up from the past, they probably kill the younger Burroughs.
How can Annie travel through time? It is possible because of the reality rift in Hill Top Road. Here’s Annabelle talking about the rift: “A hole around which time, dimension and reality began to bend, shudder and leak.” I don’t think you need to actually go through the rift to use it for time travel, it’s enough to be close to the Hill Top Road house.
Why bother with the time travel? Either because without it, it was too hard to get two Spiral marked people in the House at the same time. Or because they wanted the aspect of the Web freed earlier.
If you are skeptical about the time travel, and think the author just made a mistake with the dates, there is much evidence to support that time travel happened. First: Burroughs mentions how it is suddenly very cold when he gets to Hill Top Road. It’s cold, because suddenly it’s November.
Second: Burroughs statement doesn’t match reality: Quote from John: “However, college records appear to list her as one of the students living in halls during her second year, rather than in an off-campus house, and it was a porter who she attacked with a kitchen knife, rather than a housemate. In fact, according to the letting agent, there was no-one living at 89 Bullingdon Road that year, so whatever Bethany was doing in that house, it wasn’t living there legally.” That’s because she only lived in Bullingdon Road in the original timeline. She only attacked a housemate in the original timeline. The web wasn’t able to recreate the timeline perfectly because no students were living in that house in 2009, only in 2007.
Third: in Boatswain’s Call Tim gives a hint about there being something wrong with time at Hill Top Road “Oh, and don’t get me started on the other case numbers around the Hill Top hauntings, they’re a mess”
Forth: We canonically have someone connected with Hill Top Road claiming to have traveled in time. The statement giver from Cracked Foundation says “I went to clean that house on April the 23rd, 2009 which, according to all of you, is tomorrow. But it can’t be. That was two weeks ago.”
Fifth: The demon prevents Burroughs from hearing what his colleagues say to him. Had he been able to talk to them he might have noticed that this timeline is different.
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farahukblog · 26 days ago
Farah x SoccerBible talks to Everyone You Know
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There’s undoubtedly a collective appreciation when football meets fashion and music, which is why we’re proud to present the artists featured in the Farah X SoccerBible ‘Unity’ collection shoot. Introducing, Everyone You Know.
Multi-faceted sibling duo EYK – Everyone You Know - already have over 52 million worldwide streams, a 15-date (sold out) UK tour, a festival debut at Reading & Leeds and their 12 track EP ‘Just for The Times’ is out next month. Citing Dr Dre, The Streets, Wu Tang Clan and Kano amongst their inspirations; they’ve already built a cult following with tracks such as ‘Charlie’, ‘Our Generation’, ‘She Don’t Dance’, and ‘The Drive’. Along with support from the likes of Annie Mac (headlined AMP at Old Blue Last), Jack Saunders (Radio 1 Maida Vale Session), Steve Lamacq (6Music Session), BBC Introducing, NME, Sunday Times Culture, Complex and The Line of Best Fit, this London-based duo are positioning themselves as one of the most exciting and innovative talents to come out of the UK.
Check out the full interview below..
What does Unity mean to you guys?
Harvey: For me, when I think of Unity and music, the first thing that comes to mind is 90s rave culture where people were so far apart in terms of tastes and interests but then brought together by music. Music is the thing that can bring people together, whether you’re on the other side of the world and never met someone before, music can instantly break down those language barriers. Football can do that as well. Two people can support the same team but have nothing else in common yet they can feel united by the love for the game. That’s my interpretation on what unity means to me.
Football has the power of bringing people together. How have you witnessed that first hand?
Rhys: It’s got to be the international competitions. Looking back at say the 2018 World Cup, that just  brought the whole nation together. Everyone was out celebrating, everyone was together. On the club level it’s different because of the rivalry and tribal nature of it but when those international tournaments swing around, like the Euros, this year, it brings everyone together.
Summer tournaments, the sun out, England in the Euros - it’s going to be a good time isn’t it?
Harvey: 100%. I cannot wait for it. When I think back to what our routine looks like on a match day during a tournament, there will always be a family BBQ, everyone comes round then once the game is done we’ll head straight to the pub and have a few beers. It becomes a full day of it. It feels like a big occasion and you don’t normally do that when say England are playing in a qualifier. For the big tournaments, it’s almost like a tradition, the whole country gets together. You can get stuck into the whole occasion.
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What have you made of football over the last year or so, it’s going to be such a party when we can go all in on the experience of watching football again isn’t it?
Rhy: A lot has happened to effect football all at once. On the pitch, things like VAR have really changed the Premier League. It’s taken a lot of emotion out of the game and those celebration moments. The fans not being at games doubled down on that and completely took all the emotion out of stadiums, quite literally. Having VAR introduced to the game and fans taken out of the game at the same time was like a real punch to the game. It’s all had an effect. We need the summer and a party to put it right.
Tell us about what you make of where football meets fashion? Which players do it well?
Harvey: There’s not all that many players that come to mind when it comes to those who look mad off the pitch. People like Bellerin always look the part and he does his thing. You can’t help but think David Beckham is still doing it well. He always looks the part. I feel that football and fashion are mixing so much right now though and in such a good way. The kits and the designs behind them are so much more wearable. The Italia 90 shirt is like 30 years old now but still looks amazing. That is very much a fashion item you could wear to the pub on a day when England aren’t playing.
Rhys: Yeah Becks. What a guy. You see so many players go down the road with all the Balenciaga stuff on and they’re in that whole ‘drip’ scene. I’m not really about that myself. I’d agree, I’d still take a Becks’ over some stuff you see players in these days - he’s always looking sharp.
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What did you make of the Farah Unity collection?
Rhys: Loved it, man. It’s top drawer, I perfect bit of me. I like that you can dress it up and dress it down. Some of the jackets you could wear casually but you could also put a roll neck underneath and it looks smart too. Really into it.
Harvey: Farah is a brand that we’ve always liked and had an association with. I remember growing up, our old man used to wear Farah. It’s a brand that resonates culturally. We’ve always gravitated towards it. We’re massive football fans too so to have SoccerBible and Farah come together to collaborate, it’s the best of both worlds. We loved it.
How has the experience been during lockdown and making music? It’s going to feel good to get new music out there - how are you feeling about that?
Harvey: Buzzing. We’ve just wrapped up an unofficial album. A long EP. We’ll have that out this summer between June and July. It’ll be nice to have a fresh body of work out this summer that we can then go and tour once the pandemic is over. Really excited about it. It’s been two years in the making, this body of work and it’s all completely fresh.
Rhys: It will be nice to have something we can put out there that time stamps this period we’ve all been through. We can look back and say we’ve made these tunes through a very difficult time for everyone and they can be a positive for us that has come from a pretty bleak time. Being able to tour it will be everything going full-circle. We want that so much.
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When you think of your music in a football environment or a party environment. How much do you think about those occasions - for example, could your new EP provide an ideal soundtrack for the Euros?
Rhys: I think it’s bang on. On our latest single, “Higher”, it just feels like a proper stadium tune. I feel like it would be perfect for when players are in the tunnel and just about to come out onto the pitch. It’s a stadium anthem.
Harvey: You have to head into the music making process, imagining where your music is going to be played. For us, we always think about the output. Are we making something for radio for people to hear on the move or in the car or are we making something for a rave and a party. We’re always looking to make out and out bangers but the approach does change and we do think about it a lot. Rhys is clever with his lyrics and football chants do inspire is too. We’d love to have one of our tunes adopted by fans and them to create their own chant from it.
Rhys: That is the dream. Once fans start singing our stuff on the terraces, that’s it for me. That’s the real dream.
Talking of dreams. If England have a good Euros, what would the party look like for you guys?
Rhys: Ah mate. I swear to god, if England do well and win, I will fly to Vegas to celebrate it.
Harvey: Even if we don’t get all that far into it, I’m just looking forward to being able to go back out to stadiums and have a drink in a pub without having to think about social distancing and all that. To all be together again, watching the football in the sun. There’s nothing better.
0 notes
getreadytosmash · 26 days ago
Future Smashers: Vera "Ivy"
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- Daughter-later-child of Clay Cortez aka Hulkverine
- Older twin to Scott Cortez by an hour
- Absorbed radiation as she got older and resulted in powers
- Able to control her bone structure, forming her own bone claws but mostly Vera uses it to make scythes of bone
- As an adult they go from 5'7 to 7'8
- Goes fully green but they keep brown eyes and stuff like hair dye actually stays - hence the white/mint green streak
- Lost her legs in an accident but has high class prosthetics that later got themed to be like the Gazelle woman in kingsman - who Vera later styled themself after in admiration
- LOVES Pepper Potts too after watching that movie holy shit Gazelle and Pepper Potts SHAPED Vera and the reason they wear a lot of formal stuff for anything
- Chose the name Ivy cause she wanted to theme with Scott and also are they Creeping ivy?? Poison ivy?? Who knows
- Ends up becoming a sort of organiser for gamma mutates because oh god there are So MANY
- Runs a lot of the different bases and team coordinations and they're highly stressed but they love it and everyone else hates it
- Noodle gal and underweight technically from how busy she is working
- Big fan of Carmen Sandiego as a kid and it showed when she pulled the others into crime capers with Coral and Aydan
- Very funny when they now switched to being organised so much and more straight laced
- Still has a wild streak tho and it shows when they get to do missions
- Vera typically does stuff for SHIELD and SWORD like Red!! They become good pals for it
- Mega crush on Coral oh God one look from her gets Vera running out of a room
- Scott knows this and oh god does Vera suffer the annoying smugness of a little brother
- Samuel heavily approves and keeps nagging them to take CoRAL OUT ALREADY WOO HER WITH THOSE BEAUTIFUL CHARTS YOU HAVE VERA
- Very fast track runner due to the build of their prosthetics
- Low healing factor though so they often hit shit when getting hurt
- Has the ability to fall asleep anywhere because god they need the rest
- Oblivious to a lot of stuff and has the horrific habit of blocking what people say to her out
"Can a depressed person do this" (works for three days without sleep)
- Has seizures
- Technically has a team of them, Scott, Coral, Annie Aydan and the Cardinal verse kids when visiting and no one can agree on a name but they kick ass okay
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bloodstripedblondie · 28 days ago
Hi hi! I saw your req where open and wondered if I could request a bertholdt x gn! reader angst where bertholdt had true feelings only for Annie, even though reader & bert where in a relationship since cadet training, and Bertholdt would always compare reader to Annie whenever they got into arguments, such as saying things like “But Annie would-‘’’ etc.! And you can take it from there! Ty :D
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𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙧 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨
𝙗𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙩 𝙭 𝙜𝙣! 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧
“𝙄𝙛 𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙧... 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙄’𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙝𝙚’𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙢𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩. 𝙊𝙣 𝙖 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙚𝙩“
𝙈𝙮 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩!! 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙤𝙭, 𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣 𝙄 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙞𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙞𝙩!! <3 (𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙄 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙡)
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Bertholdt realizes what he’s doing is insanely cruel. That in a way, he’s doing onto you what Annie has done to him. And so he convinced himself that it’s just, that you’re just another paradis devil so no harm is truly done. You’re just another obstacle towards their goal, and if he has to kiss you every night like he loves you - he will. All for Annie.
It wasn’t inherently hard to do so when he looked past the fact you weren’t her. In fact, he started seeing some of her in you. From the dip in your lips, the curve of your brow, your stance when you got ready to throw a right hook. As wrong as it is, he finds himself comparing you to her in every way.
You’ve always admired Annie Leonhart, for all of her natural vitality and vibrating capability. You’ve always been considerate, respectful, and peaceful with her - despite her pushed-back temperament. Extending her a seat next to you during dinners, aiming to chat and make quiet conversation. You never minded the unique, almost refined friendship Bertholdt had with her. It was apparent she thought of him only as a comrade. You guessed it was just silly one-sided puppy love, a mellow crush that would easily subside with time.
And you never had to fuss, because Bertholdt had made it explicit he didn't want Annie. When you were still young and naive, with the world at your feet, and you thought joining the scout regiment would turn you into a fierce soldier that protected your home. Mere children left wrecked from the revelation of the colossal and armored titans.
There was a distinct glamour about him, handsome and taut. He almost looked unearthly: a perfectly formed figure, rippling tendons that flickered when he lept. The pads of his fingers were still smooth and his palms were wide and could cup the sun. He smelled of sandalwood and pomegranate. He said what he meant, and was puzzled if you did not. People mistook him for a simple, but in a way it was an inane sort of genius - to always cut to the heart. And he did, almost too often.
Enraptured by his soft demeanor, you quickly started vying for his attention. Opening yourself up to the boy, clinging onto the last bit of humanity you recognized. And he always gave it to you; offering shy smiles that left his ears blushed bright red, picking up pastries and sharing them in the dead of night, listening to all your words and worries. You thought he could hang the moon and stars in the night sky.
Bertholdt found himself finding it easy to fall into you. You were sweet, giving him that affection he sought after. You kissed his face every night, wrapped your hands around his, teased his outrageous sleeping positions. And for a while he convinced himself he was truly in love with you, it was nice.
On one of those days, when summer had flown in and training was at its peak, Bertholdt had solidified your love for him. Humid sun rays and dew dropped grass left all of you exhausted. And after one of the days, he pulled you aside. Lacing his fingers with yours and tugging you up a grassy hillside littered in wildflowers.
“Where we going?” You asked trailing behind him.
“I have a surprise.” Is all he said, nerves building in his stomach. You were smiling, bright and airy. You reached the top of the hill, looking over the barracks.
“What is it love?” You mused turning to your lover.
“Close your eyes.” He said, and you obeyed, shutting your eyelids. “Put out your hands.” He said softly. You smirked,
“Promise it’s not a spider?” He gave you a tilted grin you couldn’t see,
“You slay titans and you’re scared of a little spider?” He joked and you huffed, shaking your outstretched hands, “just hurry up.” You said, grinning.
Bertholdt pulled a small red box out of his pocket and dropped it into your palms, “Okay open.” Your eyes fluttered at his request and you examined the tiny box before you, opening it.
It was a ring.
“I swear it’s not like an engagement ring or anything, though I don’t wanna be cheesy and call it a promise ring either.”
He was being shy, not directly looking you in the eye, but looking down and away. Nerves ticking inside of him like live wire, he didn’t want you to think it was cringey. Bertholdt may not be overly affectionate or say romancing words to you everyday, but he wanted you to know that he cared. At least, that’s what he told himself.
You were smiling, the small box held into the palm of your hand as you plucked the ring out of its little seat, it was a simple but pretty thing. You slipped it on your right middle finger, it was not overly flashy or lavish - but instead a dainty little band that went nicely with your complexion. No one had ever gotten you such a thing before.
“Thank you, I love it. And I love you.” You moved forward to wrapped him in a hug, resting your head in his chest. Bertholdt’s arms looping around you and holding you close to him.
“I- I love you too.” He said quietly, almost that you didn’t hear it. But you did, and you felt your heart bloom.
Things started going astray between you and Bertholdt. It started off so plainly, inane comments that never bothered you much. That left nothing but a slight sting in your chest, that later smeared into a bitter tasting resentment for a certain blonde.
“Annie is so strong isn’t she.” Bertholdt says offhandedly, staring her down as she pins some poor cadet to the ground. Hawk eyes watching every move, breath, twitch, and jump. He’s got a sort of gleam in his eyes, that glistens inside the sun and reflects some sense of attraction.
You’re not looking at him though, missing the way a sense of longing flashes over his gaze. You mumble an agreement, amazed at her agility and fearless performance. You watched her train. Her face was calm and blank, not at all tensed with effort or exertion.
You weren’t low ranking, not by any means, graduating within the top 10 in the cadet corps alongside Bertholdt and Annie. You’re strong, capable, valiant - but Annie, she has a sort of power within her. Like some hidden force drives her to perfection without even having to speak. You can admit, you were envious. But you brush those seedless thoughts off, reminding yourself that Bertholdt chose you, not Annie. You would feel stupid to assume something that wasn’t there.
And years pass, you grow stronger, taller, harsher. Maturing into a hardened soldier, realizing the world was vile and sick, spitting on people like you. Keeping yourself from tumbling off the edge for him, because he kept you sane. You, Bertholdt, Reiner, and a few others joined the scout regiment. While Annie decided to take the easy way out and join the military police.
You remember how disappointed Bertholdt looked when she walked away that night, not even turning to look back at any of you. You thought he was just somber because he wouldn’t see a good friend anymore.
But then after each expedition, he pulled away. When you sought him out (because he stopped coming to you) he was strained. Subtly slipping out of you hands like sand, and you couldn’t do anything to stop it. The only time you saw him get any sort of joy was when you offered to take him into the city and see Annie, with the others of course. Because god forbid you imply he solely wants to go by himself, just to see her.
You missed him. You missed your lover, and his warmth. The systematic routine the two of you had built disrupted. No more late night talks, or consoling each other’s nightmares, no tasting new desserts from the bakery, or teasing him about his sleep. It was as if you two had never ever really existed in the first place. Trying to distract yourself long enough, but it eventually catches up to you.
How could you feel nostalgia when he was right in front of you? How could you suffer from the absence of a person who is present? You can suffer nostalgia in the presence of the beloved if you glimpse a future where the beloved is no more. His love is what ultimately burns you. Sinking so far into you and then ripping away like a long-overdue bandaid.
You remember a time where you had joked he wanted to hang out with Annie more than you, and how furious Bertholdt had gotten, delving into some pointless argument. Telling you that you were just being paranoid, brushing you off harshly. And it hurt.
“Do you even care anymore Bert? Because it really feels like you don’t.” You pressed, arms folded and eyebrows furrowed. You were tired from training, and thought maybe with the spare time before the next expedition you and Bertholdt could go into town and buy bread and pastries like old times.
You hear him let out a scoff, “Get a hold of yourself, it’s honestly pathetic at this point.” He spits, burning sheer venom into your face. You still, frown deepening across your mouth and you clench your fists and resist the urge to punch him square in the jaw.
“Why are you acting like this? What’s wrong?” You question vehemently, certainly something was wrong. Bertholdt never talked to you like this.
“God, you just don't get it do you? Why can’t you just… why can’t you just be like Annie? Annie gets it, she understands, she would’ve never-“
“Well I’m not Annie!” You spat cutting him off, anger bubbling over and pouring out of the seams. Months of feeling rejected, pushed away, used all spewing to the surface. You refused to cry, to let him see your tears. Bertholdt grinds his teeth, lowering his head and turning his back towards you.
“Sometimes I wish you were.” He mumbled. You think about the sly, flickering line that separates being spared from being rejected.
And so it devolved, and you grew to hate Annie Leonhart. You hated her with a ferocity you still can’t quite explain. An inane irritation that scraped over every cut and bruise, bubbling over the sea into a maddening tide. It was a seeping spilling rage that bubbled into a burning envy. You realized you wanted to be her. You wanted to consume her whole, write her being out of existence and become her. Take up her space, fall into her and see her for inside. A sick cruelness that bestowed you with this aching remedy.
You know it’s unfair, to blame her. You’re not her, and she’s not you. But when Bertholdt looks at you like he hates you, tells you you’re nothing like her, and with every argument leading to the roundabout conclusion that you weren’t this idolized person he created. You can’t help but wonder what is it about Annie?
It’s late into the evening, the other cadets are in their bunks asleep or reading. Commanders in their offices or rooms, doing paperwork and preparing for other expeditions.
You seek him out. Wanting a semblance of comfort, some soft words to soothe the upcoming fears in your mind. Rounding your way to the boys bunks, finding his and Reiner’s bunks vacant. Eren tells you they’re still in the dining hall. You make your way back, hallways lit in low orange candlelight, soft pattering of your feet across the wood.
You don’t hear the entire exchange, only overhearing them speaking lowly in the vacant meal hall. But it wouldn’t have made a difference either way. Bertholdt was leaning over the bench, long legs scrunched underneath, arms folded as his forehead rested on top. Reiner was reclining next to him, pursed manner as he listened to his friend's true feelings. You halt behind the corridor,
“Do you not love y/n?” He asks, genuinely. Bertholdt lets out a long sigh, and he’s asking himself the same question. Did he? He knows the answer true and deep in his heart, and he feels the shame pouring from within.
“No… I don’t.”
And if you gave up on him now, it would’ve all been for nothing. Because all this time you’ve known, you’ve known who he pretends you are, who he thinks about late in the night, who he fantasizes that he’s fallen for - and it’s not you. And Bertholdt knows that he cannot live on the fantasies he feeds his mind, eventually he would have to touch real life.
That moment is now. The pain of it all sucker punches you and leaves you breathless, knocking all the oxygen out of your lungs. You know this feeling, it’s meticulous and ravenous. You’ve felt it all your life, but you’ve never known what to call it. Perhaps it’s some form of anxiety, it’s unexplainable coiling and then wild snap. Your chest tightens and your intestines feel like dirt and you want to throw up over the wood you’re standing on.
Worst of all, raspy memories come full fledge into your sight and your keen, doubling over and struggling to breathe. Gasping into the sun's palms and letting rouge waves splash underneath the wild sunsets of your eyes. The humiliation of it all sears red hot and thick. It’s so fucking embarrassing that you feel yourself caving in, god why would he pretend like this?
You’ve known for a while now. But you don’t say anything. You don’t blow up in his face, don’t yell, curse, or fight. You go silently. Bringing yourself to the dull conclusion that it would never work, you can’t forgive him.
Bertholdt hears footsteps creak across the floorboard behind him and he whips his head around, heart thinking dangerously inside his ribcage. Your standing there with a look on your face, he’s never seen it before - it’s not sadness, it’s despair. He knows you’ve heard his confession.
In a way it feels like penance, exposing the sins he’s committed and now he must pay for them. Your eyelashes are dripped in wet tears, mouth set in a straight line but he can see the slight quiver in your lip as you walk towards them. Reiner has slowly made his way back into the hall, allowing this moment to be just for the two of you. You silently thank him.
Bertholdt doesn’t know what to say. What do you say to your partner when you’ve just admitted you don’t actually love them? His mouth is bobbing like a fish, stunted. It feels as thought there’s no more oxygen left in the room, and he’s feeling the shame course through his veins. He’s expecting you to yell, scream, make a scene, hit him - anything. But you don’t.
You simply twist the ring off of your finger, the one that you’ve kept all these years, and place it on the table next to him. The small clink of it rattles through his brain, and he doesn’t know why it pangs an ache through him.
“Goodbye Bertholdt.” You whisper, leaning forward and giving him one final kiss on the forehead. You turn on your heels and walk out of the dining hall without a word, no looking back. And he doesn’t chase after you, you don’t expect him to either.
In a way, there’s a certain relief about it all. It wasn’t a blown out bang that went wrong, it was quiet and almost bittersweet. And in a way, this felt even worse. Because Bertholdt knows you didn’t deserve this, or him, or his rage. You deserve love, and he used yours.
There is no grand argument that ensues, though it was a long time coming. You won’t stop him from loving Annie, you won’t hold him back from pursuing what he craves - but you won’t be by his side. So before you tumble off the pit of insanity, you let him go. Pain is a beautiful thing sometimes, it opens you up from the inside and allows you to swallow the world whole.
Even if there is no explanation, the pain will fade in time... but the memory will live remain... for as long as you live.
61 notes · View notes
pleasantanathema · a month ago
Graves into Gardens | Reiner Braun x Reader | Chapter Nine
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Chapter Nine: Intimate Truths 
Pairing: Reiner Braun x Fem!Reader [now with a dash of Erwin x Reader]
Rating: Explicit (18+ Only)
Warnings: Modern AU, spoilers up to season four, slight manga spoilers (only by including characters met later), captivity, mentions of death, violence enemies to lovers, angst, smut, remnants of hate sex/marking, implied cheating
Word Count: 6.3k
Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter 
          Reiner had no shame as he leaned against the door frame, eyes trapped in an infinite loop as he traced over the exposed stretches of your naked skin. You looked beautiful in the bath, warm sunlight from the window pooling over your shoulders and glistening in the water that lapped at your chest. He suddenly understood the temptations sailors must have felt toward playful water nymphs, especially when you lifted your leg from the surface, fingers sweeping over your skin as you bathed.
           You looked ethereal, serene, tempting. You looked like you were his, all the bruises and bitemarks glossy on your wet skin.
           “Finished with your phone calls?” You hummed, soft smile tugging at the corner of your lips.
           “Yeah, for now at least.”
           “Care to join me, then?”
           He was hoping you would ask. His arms stretched above his head for a moment, waking up the still heavy and tired muscles in his shoulders, his back. He’d spent most of the morning pacing around the living room in his boxer briefs, warding off questions from Zeke and setting up plans with Pieck. It was no longer a secret to anyone that he’d brought you to his apartment, which was a tricky thing to explain. He’d settled on telling a half-truth: he wanted some time alone with you to make you more comfortable. That was his job, after all, to butter you up and make you a willing participant in the Marleyan games.
           He swiftly shed what little clothing he had, hissing at the heat of the water as he slid in behind you. He felt like he was boiling, but you seemed content in the warmth, all soft hums and gentle sighs as you settled between his outstretched legs.
           “How is everything?”
           You peered over your shoulder at him, lashes fluttering as you took in his form.
           “Surprisingly calm. Though I do have a date planned for us.”
           Reiner brushed his hands down your upper arms, over your back, fingers spread wide as he marveled over the smooth planes of your body.
           “A date?” you laughed, breathy and sweet.
           “Mhm, Pieck wants us to meet her and Annie at the library in a few hours. Didn’t explain much, just said she’s found something interesting.”
           Your back met his chest as you leaned against him, setting a lavender scented bar of soap to precariously balance on the edge of the tub. He’d forgotten he had that under his sink; at least it finally found a purpose, though he never expected the soap to be slipping across your skin.
           “Yeah, it’s been a while for you two, hasn’t it?”
           He wrapped his arms around your stomach, your breasts resting on his forearms. There were water droplets resting on your neck, dripping down to the hollow of your throat. He tilted his head down to capture them with his lips, his tongue, kissing languidly up and down your neck.
           He quite liked this side of you. Tranquil, relaxed, it even felt domestic. The atmosphere felt much more conciliatory, like you’d both agreed to lay aside your transgressions.
           Your lips mimicked his, kissing at the pulse of his neck as your head lolled back against his shoulder.
           “I’m sorry about last night, I shouldn’t have gotten so upset with you.”
           “Don’t be,” he chuckled, one of his hands reaching up to cup your breast because he just couldn’t help himself, “you had every right to be angry.”
           Your fingers laced over his, both of you feeling the weight of your breast within your hands, listening to the rhythmic thumping of your hearts. He was transfixed by the rise and fall of your chest. It was sensual, the embodiment of life, the most natural thing for any body to perform.
          He didn’t know if he’d ever felt this intimate with anyone before. He’d never not bathed alone, always finding solace and silence in the water. But now he had you in his arms, both covered and uncovered by the thin barrier of water over your curves. It took a moment for the realization to settle in that you were really here, allowing him into your space like this. You’d allowed him in, even allowed him inside your body. It all felt like a privilege he didn’t quite deserve.
          “If you had the opportunity, would you do it all over again?”
          “What do you mean?”
          He rested his cheek on the crown of your head, thumb still sweeping over your nipple.
          “If life gave you a second chance, would you start over? Do things differently?”
          “In a heartbeat.” He didn’t even have to ponder on that answer. He’d made far too many mistakes that he wanted to correct.
          “Me too.”
          You turned your face toward him, offering your lips for him to kiss. Complying, he pressed his mouth to yours, groaning as you began a slow, careful cadence. It felt like the first time he kissed you last night, only gentler, more exploratory. He took his time traversing your mouth, teeth nipping at your lips, tongues tangling. One of your hands lifted from the water to cup his face, dripping fingers pulling him closer.
          There was a moment for a small breath as he broke away to test a new angle, his fingers twisting in your wet hair to dip your head back, open your lips wider. He smirked into the kiss when you moaned, a delightful sound that reverberated down your throat. He couldn’t get over how intoxicating you were.
          His other hand abandoned your breast, discovering new parts of the swirling, breathing cosmos that was your body, the pads of his fingers dancing over your belly. You spread your legs knowingly, moaning again as he found the softest of flesh between them. There was still hesitancy in his confidence, power behind his touch, as his fingers dipped inside of you and he curled the digits just right.
          You sucked in a sharp breath as you pulled your lips from his, his eyes opening to find your brows slightly furrowed.
          “Fuck, I’m sore.”
          “Sorry about that.”
          You laughed, lighthearted and grinning, “You are not.”
          You continued to smile through your moans, his fingers continuing to dreamily stroke and press inside you, your walls tightening at his movements. The water was splashing along the sides of the porcelain tub, sloshing back and forth in timing with his strumming of your body.
          His lips were back at your neck, mapping over places he’d already been just hours before.
          “It’s amazing this tight little pussy could fit my cock.”
          He could practically feel your skin tingle from his words.
          He circled his thumb over your clit and the high pitched moan that fell out of your mouth had his cock hard in an instant. His cock was straining against your back, throbbing and making his stomach muscles tighten.
          Your hand dipped under the water, catching his wrist and ceasing his movements. He carefully pulled his fingers out of your folds, concerned that he had hurt you as you started shifting in the tub. Small waves of water sloshed into the floor as you turned around, coming face to face with him and settling into his lap. Your warm thighs draped over his, your knees barely making space on the bottom of the tub.
          “Too much?” He was looking up at you, hands sliding down your back.
          “Not enough.”
          You captured his cock in your hand under the water, pumping at the shaft and making his head fall back. He hadn’t felt that yet—your soft palm wrapped around him, thumb circling the fat, swollen head. He had thought he could keep his control, just take a simple bath, but he should’ve known he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of you.
          He swallowed thickly when you lifted your hips, lining him up with your entrance. There wasn’t very much he could do in this position aside from let you be in control.
          “Fuu-uuck,” he groaned, giant hands helping to keep you steady as your pussy started to suck him inside. You were so fucking tight, like he hadn’t molded your insides to be his last night. Your hot little cunt felt like heaven all over again, every inch taken in making him breathe deeper and harder.
          He watched your head lull back as you pushed all of him inside of you, lips parted.
          God he didn’t deserve this. Nothing he had ever done justified being ridden by something so beautiful.
          Your hands held on to the muscles of his shoulders as your hips started to roll. The water started ebbing with your body as you made your own tide. He looked down to where your bodies were joined, groaning so loudly it even shocked himself.
          “Yeah? Feel good, baby?” Your voice was low, sultry.
          He didn’t even notice you lean down to kiss him, gaze too transfixed on the bulge he could see from his fat cock inside of you. One of his hands drifted from your waist to your lower stomach, palm flat so he could feel the movement from inside your body.
          “You take my cock so well, princess, fuck, look at you.”
          His praise had you moving faster, whimpering above him. Your snug walls wrapped around his length was driving him mad, sending him into that headspace where all he could think about was painting your insides white.
          All his instincts were telling him to grab a hold of you and take over, but he was holding back, wanting you to set the pace with how deep he was in your guts.
          He felt your hand on his face, pulling him up by his chin. Your lips captured his, tongue greedily sliding into his mouth. He grunted into the kiss as your nails dug sharply into his shoulders. It was all messy, moans bleeding into one another as you continued to move up and down, up and down, over and over again in his lap, ass smacking into his thighs and disturbing all of the cooling water.
          “Couldn’t stand it, could you?” he mumbled into your mouth, “You had to have more of me.”
          “Mhm, your cock feels s-so fucking good.”
          “Who knew you were such a little cockslut.”
          But he was the one fading, pleasure was racing down his spine, making his toes curl. He knew he was going to fall off the edge soon, just from a few minutes of your delicious cunt sliding over him. He moved the hand on your stomach lower, thumb tracing around the folds that were enveloping his cock.
          If there was one thing he still had control over in this situation, he could make you cum. He swirled his thumb in a rather cruel pace over your clit, knowing it would send your senses into overdrive.
          “Oh, oh, oh please, please.” Your head was hanging lower, mouth permanently open with gasps of satisfaction.
          “You beg so pretty, so, so pretty, such a good girl.”
          You cried out, cunt clenching around him. He smirked, hand abandoning your hip to reach up and grab your cheeks, the other still tormenting your swollen clit.
          “Oh you like that? Like being my good girl?”
          Your head nodded fervently in his hold, lips reaching for his but he kept you at bay.
          “Y-yes,” you were breathless, breasts bouncing as you started to get sloppy, losing your mind on his cock, “I’m your g-good little girl.”
          He was going to explode. You were too fucking good, divine, even, to be saying things like that to him.
          “Fuck, Reiner, I…”
          You didn’t get the chance to say the words, orgasm ripping your body so strongly that he could feel it. He felt every muscle clench, felt your thighs shaking, felt your wet, slippery walls squeeze around him so tight he felt like he saw god.
          You looked so sublime in your bliss, head thrown so far back that your back was arched, the alluring column of your throat on full display. Your tits were heaving with stolen breath, hips slowly rocking in his lap as you pulled out every last moment of rapture that you could.
          He was so close, just needed a little more from your spent body. He used his strength to lift you up by your ass, bucking up into you roughly and using you like a cocksleeve.
          And you let him, your grip on his slick shoulders weak, body bouncing to the hurried, desperate pace he set. Everything was so wet, warm, he felt like he was slipping under the water and drowning, but he was just lost in your body.
          Reiner came with strangled roar, a gasp, some out of body experience that made his head hurt with the pleasure of it all. He felt like he was on fire despite being in the water, like his skin, his cock, were burning, pounding. And your perfect pussy soaked every bit of him up, cum spilling into your depths.
          He kept himself seated inside of you as you both came down from your highs, arms winding around your back and pulling you to his chest.
          “Are we going to make a habit of this?” He smoothed a hand over your cold, damp hair as he asked, unashamedly pressing a doting kiss to your forehead.
          “Why not?”
          You looked up at him, face flushed, satisfied. There was a bit of mirth in your eyes, something mischievous, but a lingering seriousness that made your simple question resonate.
          Why not?
          There were probably a thousand reasons why not. One of the glaring ones being that you were both prepared to hurt each other at any given moment. He’d wanted to kill you the night you were captured, and you’d wanted to wring his neck before he turned your anger into passion.
          Maybe that’s what this was now. A new way to channel all the uncertain emotions you felt toward one another.
          If that was the case, then why not? Why not fuck the most bewitching woman he’d ever met? Especially when you were so willing and so fucking tempting.
          He knew why not, but at this point, he didn’t care. He wanted you, so he was going to have you.
━━━─── • ───━━━
          It felt like the world unfortunately started turning again when you made it back to the Marleyan Warrior Headquarters. Reiner had been kind enough to loan you a scarf to keep the winter chill away, but also to keep questions about all the rather...unseemly marks on your neck at bay.
          You should’ve stopped him from being so brutish, but you knew that deep down you never would have said no. It felt too good to have someone be so eager to claim you.
          The two of you walked side-by-side through the building, winding down hallways and up the stairs toward the archives where Pieck was waiting.
          It took you by surprise how massive the library was. Perhaps it was your bias influencing you, but you didn’t expect the Marleyans to have such a vast collection of books just sitting inside of this internment zone. The walls were littered with all kinds of colored spines and oak tables were scattered around and looked dusty from never being used. Toward the back of the room, behind several incredibly tall bookcases, you could see a desk lamp shining in the darkened room.
          Reiner must have noticed you taking in the sights, your walking pace having slowed behind him.
           Your face whipped towards him, heat creeping up your neck as you remembered the last time he said that, he was holding his hard cock in front of you.
           You cleared your throat, “Uh, yeah. Only place like this in Paradis is in the capital.”
           “It’s a shame no one is ever here, I think Pieck is the only one who has used this library in fucking decades. These are all old history and science books that didn’ with Marleyan teachings, if you catch my drift.”
           You caught up with him, weaving through the tables.
           “So, it’s everything that doesn’t fall in line with government propaganda.”
           “Yeah, more or less.”
           You admired him for a moment as he walked in front of you, all broad shoulders and proud, blonde head in his uniform. He looked fit to be a Vice Commander, even if you hadn’t thought so before.
           There was an urge to grab onto his arm, to latch on to safety in this still unfamiliar place. But you held yourself back; you didn’t want to seem too attached to him. You reasoned it was all because he had been the only stable thing, the only light in your darkness, for days on end.
           Annie and Pieck were seated at a table near the farthest wall, Pieck’s head down in her arms as she lazily flipped through a book, Annie’s arms crossed and her eyes closed like she was meditating.
           A slow, sinking feeling crawled into your chest upon seeing Annie. You’d been here weeks, yet never had the displeasure of seeing her until now. She looked about the same, long blonde hair swept into a low bun, lips in a straight, unamused line. Even with her eyes closed, she appeared to have the same put-out attitude she always did.
           You hadn’t forgotten that it was Annie who used Erwin’s own vertical movement gear blades to sever his arm.
           That thought lit a particular fire inside of your chest. You’d been trying your hardest not to think about him, didn’t want some kind of melancholy seeping into your spirit over the man you left behind. Annie wasn’t around to actually see the carnage she brought onto him. She didn’t experience the days sitting in the hospital, the sad, knowing glances that the scouts cast at one another when they caught a glimpse of the Commander struggling with his humanity after the loss of his limb. Over the years he had come to cope with the issues, but there were intimate moments you had shared with him that were ultimately shaped by the damage Annie had created.
           Then again, you couldn’t be one to judge. You’d encouraged Reiner to kill who you now knew to be Marcel Galliard, a childhood friend of all of them.
           All of you in this space had some kind of blood on your hands and bitter tastes in your mouths.
           Reiner cleared his throat as you approached them. You had half a mind to slide behind him, to hide yourself away behind his broad shoulders and back, but you stood still, eyes glancing between the two women.
           There was an awkward, pregnant pause as you all stared at one another. You’d yet to meet Pieck until now, so her demeanor was still a mystery to you. And Annie took a moment to look you up and down, letting herself become reacquainted with your presence.
           “Hmph, you look better in my clothes than I do. Figures.”
           Your eyes widened at her comment, the fact of you still wearing her clothes having escaped your thoughts until now.
           “Now, now, you don’t have to start off so passive aggressive. You were the one who wanted to meet, after all.” Pieck lifted her pretty head to speak to Annie, eyes blinking rather romantically as she placed her chin in her hand.
           “You wanted to meet with me?”
           “Well, I couldn’t avoid you forever.”
           You couldn’t help the smile spreading on your face. Seems like she hadn’t changed much after all. You’d learned how to dance around her walls before, you could easily do it again.
           “Please sit. I have something to share.”
           You and Reiner both took seats across from them at the small, rectangular table, your knees bumping together under the surface. You absentmindedly pulled the scarf he’d give you a little closer around your neck, not wanting anyone to see what was underneath. The two of you being...involved might just be something worth keeping quiet for now.
           “What is it, Pieck? You know we don’t have much time before the meeting this afternoon.” Reiner spoke to her softly, like she was something skittish. But she didn’t appear skittish, more like something gentle. Wise, perhaps, or just quiet.
           Pieck extracted a folded paper from below her book, thumbs pulling at the creases.
           “I found this not long ago in the War Chief’s office.”
           She slid the document across the table, the crumbled edges and a stain of some sort signaling that she had probably been digging through his trash.
           “What is it?” Reiner’s hand reached for it first, but she slid the paper more in your direction away from him.
           “I’m not sure, I was actually hoping our, I don’t know what to call you. Friend, perhaps? Ally, maybe. I was hoping our new ally might know what this is, it looks like something from a Paradisian company.”
           “And while we’re here…” Annie sat up a little straighter, placing her elbows on the table, “I want to know what Zeke wanted to meet with you about earlier. He called you in to speak alone, right?”
           You nodded your head, taking the heavily inked parchment into your hands.
           “You know, for him being your War Chief, you all seem to distrust him as much as I do.”
           “Our loyalty is to Marley, to our families, not to someone who abuses his power.” Pieck smiled at her own comment, small wrinkles framing her eyes.
           The paper had a name you recognized on it: Stohess Pharmaceuticals. It appeared to be a receipt of some kind, dated within the last few months. If you hadn't spent your time working in the intelligence sector, meaning that your office had been moved directly next to Hange’s, you probably wouldn’t have been able to decipher some of the items listed. There were orders for DNA sequencing equipment, a mass spectrometer, imaging systems, large glass syringes, and strangely enough...human fluids, spinal and amniotic.
           “Pieck, this document can’t be right. Stohess Pharmaceuticals was shut down about two years ago due to malpractice lawsuits. So either these dates are wrong, or this whole thing is just a front for something else.”
           The three heads around you all glanced toward one another before back to you.
           “No, we know they’re still in business, we were supposed to meet with them in that warehouse, that’s why we were there, I think to pick up whatever all that is listed.” Reiner admitted, which had your face lifting toward them all.
           “Zeke told me in our meeting that he was going there to get more arms and ammunition.”
           Annie looked particularly perplexed by your statement.
           “No, we would never cross into Paradis for arms. We have a deal with a group of Military Police to bring it directly across our border.”
           “You what? That’s how you’ve been getting them?”
           God, for working on this Zeke case for nearly a year, you felt so behind. But you couldn’t expect any less from the most elite military force in Marley. They knew how to dot their i’s and cross their t’s, they knew how to infiltrate, how to network, how to apparently slip under every radar you had.
           “Zeke told us we were picking up top-of-the-line medicine, that’s why we were all present. We had to be prepared to protect it. Hell we even had giant coolers ready for whatever it was.” Reiner was scratching at the back of his neck.
           “Well what it was,” you sat the paper back down, finger pointing to a specific listing, “wasn’t medicine. It was body fluids of some kind, for some reason. I don’t know whose or for what.”
           Annie snatched the receipt, eyes glaring at you as she began to speak, “What else happened in your meeting with Zeke?”
           “Honestly? Not much else. He had me record some bullshit for your brass. Made me state my name, my former scout positions, had me admit I wanted to help Marley because I knew of Paradis’s corruption. Overall he told me that he found me to be useless and that I needed to find a way to make myself useful.”
           All three of them seemed to scoff at once.
           “You’ve got that backwards. Marley thinks you are useless, Zeke was the only one who showed any interest in keeping you alive for some reason.” Annie’s words were irritated. Clearly she was tired of not everyone being on the same page.
           “You know,” Reiner sat back and crossed his arms, brows furrowing like he was trying to recall a memory, “now that I think about it, he seemed to know who you were the night the scouts ambushed us. When you couldn’t escape, it was like he was...excited. He made sure to knock you out before any of us could draw our weapons and he gave very specific orders that no harm was to come to you.”
           “But why me? Maybe he knew I had been one of the people working on his case? I mean, for the last year or so, it’s all Miche and I have been working on.”
           “That’s what we’re thinking,” Pieck chimed in, “but we aren’t sure. We were just hoping we could start working together to figure this out.”
           Something just didn’t feel right.
           Your whole world felt titled, shifted, like you’d been inside an hourglass and suddenly a celestial hand came and turned it upside down, allowing you to see everything from another perspective. You thought you’d found nearly all the tiles to this every growing mosaic while you were working back home. In fact, you and Erwin had managed to make some arrests in your border patrol for being in collaboration with the illegal arms trading. You knew there were still links missing as to who was getting them to the border, but you hadn’t expected it to be Military Police members. If only you could call and tell him right away, let him know more of what was happening, surely with the manpower of the scout unit they could reveal the whole picture of what was happening.
           There was too much going on for you to deal with. All you wanted was to be home, to be safe. You didn’t ask for a conspiracy.
           “If you’re asking me to divulge what I know, I hope you understand I won’t just be laying every card on the table. I might be playing nice, but don’t forget I’ve been kidnapped. My trust is on thin ice.”
           They all shook their heads knowingly. For a moment, you thought you saw Reiner’s hand twitch, like it was itching to come alive and touch you.
           “Yeah, we understand that. For what it’s worth, this whole hostage situation wasn’t our idea.”
           You narrowed your eyes at Annie, teeth gritting.
           “No, it sounds like you would’ve rather had me be dead.”
           “Would’ve made things easier.”
  couldn’t fault her for that logic. Though it still stung to think about.
           Pieck sighed at the turn of the conversation, closing the book in front of her and preparing to stand. You almost did the same, but something about the tome in front of her caught your eye. It had very specific black lettering on the front, set in a font you hadn’t seen in ages.
           To the surprise of the table, you reached slowly for the thick, hardcover book, flecks of old red coloring falling onto your skin as you took it.
           “I haven’t seen this book since I was a kid. I was obsessed with it. Why are you reading it, Pieck?”
           You sat on the edge of your seat, waves of nostalgia washing over you as you began to thumb through the yellowing pages.
           “You’ve read this book before?” Pieck sounded confused, intrigued.
           “My mother had a copy of it in our house. She used to read the mythologies to me when I was little, then when I learned to read myself, I couldn’t put it down. I was fascinated by the stories of titans. I even brought the book to school one time to show my friends, but I remember distinctly getting in trouble for it. Mom said a book that old should never leave the house so it didn’t get damaged.”
           They all crowded a little closer to you, silence overtaking you all as you flipped through the contents of the book. Dust was spilling into the air with every page turn, sometimes covering the detailed artwork of mystical, giant beings.
           “Are you sure it was this book? Not one similar?”
           “I’m certain, I would recognize the cursive lettering on the front anywhere. I was quite the bookworm, I’d even take it outside to read when I was supposed to be playing.”
           Pieck’s slim fingers stopped your searching, pressing the pages down as you discovered the familiar two page spread of the chimerical nine titans of old.
           “This book isn’t common. We only have it here because it was brought in by the Tybur family, an Eldian noble family, when the Eldian immigration happened a few hundred years ago. Do you know how your family came into possession of your copy?”
           You all began to separate, sitting back in your seats.
           “I was told my mom stole it from the library in the capitol because she knew I would want to read it. I never really asked beyond that.”
           “I see.”
           Her tongue clicked behind her teeth, her phone vibrating on the table with an alarm.
           “Our meeting is soon. Thank you for your help, I’m sure we’ll be needing it again.”
           All four of you stood rather stiffly, a tension lingering in the air like there were unspoken words left hanging between you. Admittedly, you still had more questions, and you presumed they did as well. But time was precious, and you knew it was dangerous for them to be discussing such things with you.
           This kind of talk was treason for them. That hadn’t really settled in for you until you saw how quickly Pieck shoved the dirty receipt into her coat pocket and how Annie practically bolted from the back of the library already. Pieck waved to you as she left. She was slow on her feet, a slight limp holding her back.
           “If you have a meeting soon, does that mean you need to go lock me away somewhere?”
           Reiner actually looked quite hurt from your words, a frown twisting at the corner of his lips.
           You were alone again, which felt quite comforting. You’d gotten used to your space being occupied by him, felt at ease in his presence.
           He moved closer to you, warm, almost sweaty palms cupping at your cheeks, brushing hair out of your face.
           “Technically...yes, I should take you back to my room. But…”
           He felt too tall. You grabbed a hold of the labels of his jacket, trying to pull him closer.
           “But I think I can leave you here in the library for a bit. As long as you promise to be a good girl and not run away.”
           The way the deep timbre of his voice rumbled good girl had your stomach twisting into knots. He really was going to use that against you, wasn’t he?
           You both broke out into smiles, with Reiner leaning down to capture the corner of your mouth in a kiss since no one was around to look.
           “I hate you.”
           “I know you do.”
           He let you go, smoothing out his clothes as he turned to leave you.
           “I’m serious,” he called over his shoulder, “be in that spot when I come back. And if anyone comes around, you have the Vice Commander’s permission to be here.”
           You cocked your hip against the back of the chair, waving at him as he paused his walking for your response.
           “I’ll be a good girl, promise.”
           And with those words, you were alone for the first time in days. You’d been alone in your cell, been alone in the bathroom, but actually alone You hardly knew what that felt like.
━━━─── • ───━━━
           Like you promised, you stayed in the back of the library. Reiner had been kind enough to not lock you away like some princess in a tower, so you knew better than to abuse his generosity.
           It was like heaven and hell swirling together to be completely alone with your thoughts. You didn’t know what to think anymore, a cacophony of emotions and sentiments restless in your mind.
           What the hell were you doing here? Was what you were doing really for survival, or pleasure? The weight of Reiner’s kiss was still heavy upon your mouth, like a stain you didn’t want to get rid of.
           Why did you want him?
           You knew the answer to that: you’d always wanted him, desired to break him apart and find who he really was beneath all his armor.
           Your life always seemed to circle back to him, even after all these years of you moving on from his betrayal. Maybe some sick god just liked toying with you, or maybe you were meant for another. You didn’t know. But what you did know was it felt good to be in his arms, to be under his protection.
           But you could find that same happiness with someone else… you had found that felicity with someone else. But he...he never really crossed your mind anymore, did he? Not unless you needed him. You hadn’t even gotten emotional sending him that email last night, you were just too anxious about Reiner waking up, too busy licking your wounds from a brutal fucking you hadn’t expected but fully wanted.
           Some part of you reasoned that you were sleeping with him to use him, to make sure he was on your side. But you knew it was more than that, and that it was dangerous to let any romanticism sweep over your rational thinking. However, there was some part of you begging to take up his offer and run away together, especially after all these revelations about Zeke Yeager.
           You could run away from all this, but would your morality let you? You’d already let it grey by sleeping with the enemy, perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to jump ship and let others bear these burdens.
           You were back in your seat, that familiar, beautiful book still laid out before you.
           You hadn’t thought about the story of the nine titans, of the goddess Ymir Fritz, in what felt like a lifetime ago. Your fingertip traced over the gods of destruction, legends of old that used to permeate your daydreams and your nightmares.
           The colossal titan. The armored titan. The attack titan. The female titan. They all surrounded the feet of the founding titan, of the goddess Ymir Fritz, with her flowing hair and her commanding horn in her fist.
           For a moment you longed to be swept away into childhood fantasies again, to be far from this world and floating in ethereal daydreams where you felt like you were above the clouds.
           You’d always assumed the book your mother had given you was special, but to be one that royal families held? You hadn’t expected that. You knew that the Reiss and Fritz families of Paradis and all their sprawling branches of cousins and relations kept a tight lock and key on family heirlooms in their estates. They believed they were descendants of these people, and given how beautiful Historia Reiss was, you wouldn’t be surprised if myths turned out to be truths.
           Reiner wasn’t gone long, just about thirty minutes based on what the lonely clock on the back wall told you.
           He returned with an unparalleled grin; he looked like a little boy holding a present behind his back, even with his fists sitting in his pockets.
           “That was quick, I thought I’d get more time alone.”
           “I have news.”
           You quirked your brow at him, leaning your face into your palm as he stalked closer to the table.
           “Must be some news for you to be wearing such a smile.”
           “Apparently, General Magath was the one who received that interview Zeke recorded. And, based on your answers, he thinks you’re harmless and somehow so willing to help Marley.”
           “Well I did try to sound convincing.”
           “It worked. They’re making you a warrior candidate.”
           You felt like doing a double take at his words. The thought of you being a candidate for the elite military unit that you were actively fighting against was laughable.
           “You’re joking.”
           He shrugged, chuckling and shaking his head.
           “I still have strict orders to keep you under my supervision, so you’re not rid of me yet.”
          “To be fair,” you stood from your seat, closing the book and circling around to get closer to him, “I don’t think I’ll ever be rid of you.”
          All that tension from before seemed to be alleviated from the air, a whole new game opening up for you to partake in. He must have felt it too, that grin still creasing the soft, blonde hair around his lips.
          You knew the undeniable truth was that you didn’t want to be rid of him. At least, not yet. Not when there were so many things to explore about him, so much skin still left untouched, so much heart still left unread.
          And just like the pages on the table, you desired to be opened and read by him, to be explored by hands you had thought about far too often.
          You didn’t want to be rid of him, not when he looked down at you with golden irises painted with remorse and misery that seemed to reflect your own inner turmoils. He was like your emotional mirror, always reflecting whatever you put onto him.
          It was beguiling, but also so, so frightening.
          “I’ll protect you,” he whispered, hands finding their home again on your face.
          “I know you will.”
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writtendevastation · a month ago
Chapter 11 - Raising Hell ADC
Here we go! Internet died but its back so here is the next chapter at 3:30am
Warnings: This chapter should be ok
Wattpad link:
@purgatorydotexe​  @poore-choice-of-words​ @abalonetea​ @ettawritesnstudies​ @writing-is-a-martial-art​
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Chapter 11
Zachary (continued)
    We need to get back to America. We need to figure out what is going on and we need to sort out and figure out who we can trust and who we can’t. The UK Hunters are beginning to turn against Gladys for siding with us and its clear that things are going to go downhill fast. Its been about an hour or so since I disappeared and when I reappear, its by Sebastian’s bed.
   “Where did you disappear to? One minute you were here, next minute you were gone!” Sebastian exclaims.
   Sebastian gives me his versions of events and we come to the conclusion that I suddenly became invisible to Sebastian or he became invisible to me during the teleportation phase for some reason? Maybe Pandora and Zarah didn’t want to make themself known, because who would believe Sebastian that they’d seen a God? I mean our group probably would, given I was an Angel, but most people would either think Sebastian is part of a cult and worship him or lock him up in a psychiatric hospital and probably take as many people in as possible and try and forget about what they’ve had to deal with.
So much does not make sense.
And I’m only just beginning to realise Caroline and Glenn were telling the truth all along – the Gods and the Angels have never really cared.
   How far back does it all go? How long have I let things go unnoticed?
These thoughts again. We need to do something about all of the situation we’re in. Its my fault. Everything is my fault I’ve been so blind when I could have done something sooner, I could have stopped my brother. I could have followed Raphael to make sure he wasn’t in trouble and now...there is literal hell to pay.
    Hours pass.
Leah says Laura is out dealing with some case that she heard might have popped up and is checking it out and we don’t see a problem with it because Laura can handle herself and if she needs back up, she can always call us. Annie has been in and out of sleep understandably and to be honest I don’t know how she and Sebastian are still standing.
  As I look around, I realise something.
Collette being the traitor is so obvious now. It wasn’t before because we were too busy doing our jobs to even notice that something could be wrong closer to home. We had other things to look out for that took up our time and I was still going back and forth from Heaven at the time so I was preoccupied with that and also, I didn’t realise Raphael was the traitor until it was too late.
But now its obvious. Its just now in plain sight. The Demons and everybody they work for are no longer trying to hide the fact that this is a worldwide apocalyptic operation meant to bring the world to its knees.
And it won’t stop there. We need to figure out what is actually going on.
I don’t know what exactly is wrong yet, but when we do, I know it’ll be big. I can feel it. We don’t have the full picture.
    We all have a meal together after Glenn, Hunter and Alice come back from training. Hunter and I talk about about things. Hunter asks me what it was like to be an Angel and so I’m totally honest with him and Alice wants to know why I came to Earth and decided to stay. That is actually a harder question.
I came to Earth because of my job, but when Raphael disappeared and nobody was doing anything about it and decided to take matters into my own hands. Because Raphael had mentioned Sebastian to me and I decided to see for myself what the Hunters were up to. And the rest as they say is history.
   Alice, Hunter and I get to know each other and I catch Gladys smiling at us across the room, as she deals with more calls and doing other jobs around us. As I’m explaining all I can about who I am and what is going to happen now that I’m becoming Human, I begin to realise that they believe me because our lives are just really that crazy. But I can literally tell that Alice clearly has never really had any friends. When she’s not having a panic attack, she talks and talks excitedly like she’s never had a proper conversation with anyone other than her family because none really want to get to know her. Its tragic. But at the same time...I know that she just wants to fit in and we shouldn’t treat her any differently. So I won’t.
    “What made you want to help us?” Alice asks, tilting her head in a confused matter before looking at me normally.
     “I wanted to find Raphael. Sebastian just happened to be on the same path and ours aligned. You know pretty much the rest.” I shrug.
Alice nods and grabs a drink, asking if I want one and I ask for a Pepsi Max Cherry.
   Alice sits back down again and Hunter goes off to talk to Caroline and Glenn.
   “Alice. Do you seriously not have anybody else to talk to your own age? What about school or college or university?” I ask.
   “I got thrown out of college because they couldn’t handle me because they suspect I have autism. They didn’t want to deal with me so asked that I never come back. So I had to educate myself, which was much more fun.” Alice replies.
  I genuinely have to stop myself and take a moment to think of what to say because what she just said to me is so sad and so awful that its genuinely astonishing..
   “So do none of the other Hunters talk to you?”
Alice pauses and looks away before looking back.
   “They thought that not talking to me would save me because if Demons thought I was with them, I’d be targeted so they never wanted to get to know me or acknowledge me in the open.”
   Everything she says is like another punch to the gut. I understand where the other Hunters are coming from, I really do but she was bound to get involved anyway because Gladys is her grandma and she’s the head of the UK Hunters.
I want to ask if Alice has been targeted before but I don’t want to ask that because it could bring back bad memories.
We’ve all had it rough, some more than others and I know that because my kind have just sat by and done nothing to help. As much as I want to say that I’m not responsible for what my Angel brothers and sisters have done, I was a part of the problem originally and I am the only one who has took a stand to find out what is wrong. I cannot excuse what others have done before me but I can certainly be the better person and actually make a change. I will probably never be able to escape my past, but I can certainly shape my future and the future for the others.
     “Alice, I’d be more than happy to be a friend of yours if you want me to be, but I’m sure you know that once you are seen with us, you’re going to be in the firing line. Once you commit to this life, you cannot back out because people are going to get hurt and we can only try and save as many people as we can.” I say seriously but gently.
   “I know.” Alice’s voice wobbles and I reach out to comfort her, she continues speaking. “I just want to help. I can get better, please. Just give me a chance.”
I nod.
  “I know. I want to give you a chance, I’m not putting you down. But you need to know we’re on the brink of war and you’re going to be smack in the middle of it.”
   “I know.” Alice repeats.
   Alice asks me all about America and where my Angel duties have taken me – all around the world and what each country, state or city looked like. How many people there were that did jobs like this. Who needed help. I didn’t really pay much attention to most of it. I didn’t really see any beauty in the world. All I saw was pain and cries for help falling on deaf ears.
All I saw was people who needed to see that there is something worth fighting for in this world. But all I heard was the sound of silence.
   Sebastian comes over from where he was talking with Gladys and the others and sits down next to me, smiling.
   “What are you going to do when you guys get back to America?” Alice looks to Sebastian with a genuine smile.
    “What we always do. We’re gonna need to return to base and map out a plan of what we need to do to find Raphael and Halphas, then also see the other Demon cases pop up and deal with them.” Sebastian explains. “You and Hunter will stay here to deal with things here, but eventually if you want, you can come over to the US and…”
   I can see how by telling the truth, Alice is very much interested. She knows what must be done and she seems pretty okay with it all.
    “Will there be enough space?” Alice asks.
Sebastian and I laugh. Sebastian pulls out his phone and flicks through his recent photos – apparently he took a few of the base some time ago and so starts showing Alice. She seems so interested.
   “Wait, but how did you get to the UK?” Alice looks to Sebastian, breaking eye contact with the phone.
   “I had my powers, I teleported us. We should have brought our doccuments with us but I’m sure Gladys can pull a few strings to help us leave the country.” I say. “Don’t worry about us, we’ll figure something out.”
    Alice clearly has more questions but I can see the fear in her face and she falls quiet.
   “Alice, you’re not in trouble.” I tell her.
   “I know, but you probably find me annoying.” She whispers.
   Sebastian gently places a gentle hand on her shoulder and shakes his head, reassuring her that she’s fine. He pulls away from her and she focuses on his phone again before Sebastian gets a text.
Sebastian looks at the text, pulling the phone closer to him.
    “Sebastian?” I ask softly.
    “Its somebody back in the US. Don’t worry. I’ll deal with it when we get back.”
Sebastian puts his phone away in his pocket and turns his attention back to Alice.
    Minutes of awkward silence pass.
    “So…” I say, thinking of what to talk about next.
Then, it hits me. Maybe its obvious to the others. Maybe they already are suspicious of Collette so maybe I can slowly break it to them that Collette may mot be who she says she is. I know Sebastian is smart and even though he didn’t know about Raphael, he could have noticed something was off about Collette. Maybe its just the fact that nobody wants to upset Caroline, so nobody has said anything.
I wish I could still read minds, because I would love to know what Sebastian is thinking right now. And I know it would have been an invasion of privacy because I promised myself I would never read Sebastian’s mind. I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again.
  “Zach? Is something wrong?” Sebastian asks.
I hesitate. It is now or never.
    “Hey Alice, you must have spent a lot more time than we have with Collette, right?” I try to keep my voice as normal and casual as possible as to not give anything away.
Sebastian crosses his arms.
   “Yeah, of course. What do you want to know?” Alice looks confused for a second. It is at this point that I notice that Leah has slowly started to move across the room as I begin to speak about Collette.
    “So. From my point of view, I only met Collette when the whole thing with David and the Shapeshifter went down. Do you remember that?” I inquire.
    Leah whispers something in Sebastian’s ear and I see a look of horror cross his face that he tries to hide and he excuses himself, getting up and leaving.
Alice and I watch as Leah and Sebastian head outside at the back entrance of the pub, to obviously discuss something and Alice moves closer to me.
    “Is something wrong?” Alice asks.
I don’t want to lie. I don’t...but if I say yes, Alice will probably talk to Gladys, who will talk to Hunter, who will talk to Caroline and Glenn which will set off a chain of events, that much I am sure of.
   “Its not that there is something wrong, it is just that we’re worried about her and want to make sure she’s alright.”
   Its not technically a lie. We are worried about her.
Alice happily repeats what I think Gladys or somebody told us earlier. Maybe it was Caroline that told us about Collette? I can’t remember, things have been crazy
    “What was she like?.” I ask.
    “What do you mean ‘was’?” Alice responds.
I freeze.
    “What I meant to what was she like back when you knew her before David died.” I explain.
   Alice goes on to explain that Collette was always doing jobs. Alice isn’t sure if the daughters have always been Hunters, but Collette has always been one for as long as she can remember and not much is known about Collette other than the fact that family means a lot to her.
Family meant a lot to Hannah, but we all know how that turned out because Hannah is still missing.
We’re gonna need to find Hannah, Raphael and Halphas. Hannah may be hurt, or will be trying to track them down for revenge. At least, that is what I think based upon what Laura and Leah have said about their mother.
   “Collette has always been a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ type of woman. Its gotten her in trouble a few times.”
Alice shrugs like it is nothing, which is interesting.
     I’m trying to piece together what I know about Collette. From what I knew of her, to how she acted afterwards and everything inbetween.
Something is fishy.
Maybe its paranoia.
Maybe there is nothing wrong at all.
But then, if that was the case, who is the traitor that Zarah and Pandora warned me about?
I’ve already gone over who it could be, who it couldn’t be. So...why am I now questioning everything that I know?
I know I’ve messed up along the lines of loyalty and all that crap.
    But it can’t be Alice, Hunter or Gladys. If Gladys was the bad guy, she could have dealt with us all in one swift move when we first met because she had the perfect chance and she had the power – she had all the tech at her fingertips to wipe records away. To create fake accounts and the sort. Hunter could have done the same.
But Alice.
I know its not Alice because I can just sense the good in her heart. There is no way that she could be the traitor, because she would have been found out by now because of her inexperience and…
    Am I an asshole? I’m just assuming shit. I don’t know what to think anymore.
Maybe we should tell Caroline what we think. Maybe we should just hold a meeting and go over what has happened over the past year or so and try and get a timeline of events that we can understand.
    “Collette’s husband...was he a nice man?” I ask.
     “Yeah, I assume so. He earned quite a bit of money to look after his kids. Two of them are his, the other two are to a relationship before that one. But I’ve always seen that as a sore subject for Collette because she never talks about her children’s fathers. She only cares about the Hunt now.”
    Alice sounds so sad, like Collette was consumed by her need to be a Hunter and didn’t care about anything else despite the fact she apparently cared for her family.
I don’t need to ask anything else, I’ve heard enough.
I finish my drink and think of things to talk about.
Alice and I become very quiet and Alice goes to grab a laptop to do some work and about half an hour passes before everybody starts piling back into the main room of the pub.
    Hunter passes by Alice, giving her a stack of paper which must be important, maybe some files on people or something and she gets to work on dealing with that. Hunter asks if I want a drink, so I get another Pepsi.
I realise it is getting late now.
     It is then that I hear yelling from outside and I jump to my feet, telling Alice to stay put. Sebastian and Leah come back inside and the yelling gets closer and closer and we hear somebody tripping outside, before the doors to the pub are thrown open and Laura stops to catch her breath.
   Laura’s face is bleeding; a few grazes and cuts here and there but she says something about how its not from an attack, but the fact that she’s been running to get here. Sebastian asks where she’s been and Leah and Laura look at each other and Leah reaches out to her sister, helping her up.
Laura does not answer the question.
All of us make a circle around Laura, asking what is wrong. Caroline and Glenn are looking for somebody...for Collette, I guess.
I’m proven right not even thirty seconds later.
     “Collette is missing.” Laura gasps.
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jamesqueerpotter · a month ago
10 Favourite Female Characters From 10 Different Fandoms
(List your 10 favorite female characters from 10 fandoms, then tag 10 people)
Thank you so much for the tag @a-lil-bi-furious !! ❤️
1. Malia Tate from Teen Wolf
Starting off strong — literally, she has the strength of, like, a bear and the temper of one! My angry girl!! I just loved her from the very first second we were introduced to her after turning back. She went through so much, and it clearly had a big impact on her, and we got to see her grow through most of it (but not all of it because the writers suck a bit) and work to become a pack member instead of the lone coyote she had gotten used to being. Also, she insanely pretty and cute so she’s allowed to growl at people every so often!
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2. Liv Parker from The Vampire Diaries
My angry and extra sassy girl — witch edition! There’s just something about her that I love. I really understand Tyler; she could insult me and blast me across a room with magic and I would fall in love with her. But we know that a lot of her mean-girl attitude comes from her family issues, and it’s more of a defense mechanism than anything. So, it was nice to see a softer side of her around both Luke and Tyler — and Jo, on occasion. She knew she was the “weaker” twin and as much as the thought of dying scared her, she still stood strong and tried to find a way to save Luke from having to live with that guilt by finding another way — just as she saved Tyler from triggering his curse by killing someone (who was already dying because of him) for him. And then in the end, knowing she was going to die anyway, she saved him again. She deserved a way better ending and more of a chance to grow since we definitely were not done with her story, so I will be forever bitter but I love and appreciate the time we had her for!
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3. Hope Mikaelson from Legacies
Is it cheating if they’re from the same universe but not the same show? I just love this little Tribrid so much. She’s gone through a lot her entire life — literally, she had people trying to kill her before she was even born. She lost her mum, and then her dad, and her uncle. Not to mention the, uh, killing a bunch of people in between and also finding out your first boyfriend helped kidnapped your mum in a plot to kill her and you (that he didn’t know about, given, but still). And having virtually no friends at school. But she still tried to be so strong all the time, to a point where she really should let more people in it and see that soft, vulnerable part that’s still in there. Her anger is justified, and sometimes out of her control due to her family, and I wish they’d let her get real help for it. She shouldn’t have to be the “hero” or the “saviour” all the time and I wish they would just cut her a break, let her rest, and have a moment of happiness that doesn’t end with her feeling like she didn’t deserve it.
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4. Wanda Maximoff from MCU
(First of all, you don’t know how painful it was having to wade through a bunch of Pietro gifs in the process of finding this one.) The version of Wanda in the MCU is very... complex. Obviously there’s a lot of issues With the character, but if I’m focusing solely on who she is in the MCU, then I love her so much. And she definitely has some issues in her life. She starts off as the bad guy, angry and seeking “justice” (and revenge) for what happened to her parents, and in the same movie, we see her realize that the side she was working for wasn’t any better. We see her character develop quite a bit in just her first movie, and then over the course of the next ones, we see more sides to her; her guilt over hurting innocent people through a quickly-made decision, her compassion for Vision and for those other people, her grief over losing Pietro and Vision. And she herself is so powerful! She tries to live with the pain she’s endured but it takes over without her control, because both her grief and her magic are all-consuming. And I add this because I still refuse WandaVision’s change to the timeline: she went through all of this before she was eighteen. She’s so young, and in pain, but she still tries so hard to push through because other people need her, and she doesn’t want them to suffer like she has. Also, I just think it’s pretty when she does those little hand movements to possess people and her eyes turn red.
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5. Nymphadora Tonks from Harry Potter
She deserved the absolute world. Her death was unnecessary, and I hate it, because she should have gotten to live the rest of her life raising her son, happy with her husband, and just generally being alive. She was so full of life and joy, and she tried to be the source of those things in the middle of a literal war when everyone was at their lowest and felt hopeless or angry. Also would’ve loved more scenes of her and her favourite cousin, Sirius, because they would be chaotic and they both deserved that. ALSO also, she’s very pretty, can change her appearance and chose to have pink/purple hair and dresses like how tiny me wanted to dress, so I immediately fell in love, of course.
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6. Kara Danvers from Supergirl
She’s just so kind and compassionate despite everything the world has put her through — but she’s also angry deep down, and she’s hurt and in pain, and some of my favourite moments of hers are when she’s allowed to express that. When she’s allowed to really just lose it and lash out at the people who hurt her because she pushes it down for so long so that she can help everyone else that it finally just explodes.
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7. Jody Jackson from The Dumping Ground
TW: mentions of different forms of child abuse. This girl deserves the whole world but I promise you that the world does not deserve her. The same can be said for pretty much all of the characters in The Dumping Ground, to be honest, but god she has just been through so much. Neglected by her mum from a very young age, abused physically and verbally by her and (presumably) both of her brothers, and it’s implied she’s abused sexually by one of her brothers as well. Of course when we first meet her she is angry and terrified. She still is because the trauma developed and was never fully dealt with, so she still carries it all around in her mouth and fists, until one little thing happens to make her lash out. And she knows she has a problem — she is terrified of becoming her brother, and sometimes her mum, and all she wants is to not hurt the people she loves. Because she loves so much, it’s just hard for her to know how to show it sometimes because sometimes all she can remember is how her family “loved” her. But she’s grown so much since she went into care and she’s getting help at last, and I just have so much hope for her happiness in the next series to come.
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8. Annie Marks from Good Girls
She’s short, fiesty, will make jokes at the worst possible time, won’t stop calling a literal gang leader who has threatened her life on more than one occasion “gang friend”, was incredibly supportive and accepting of her son when he came out as trans, will punch someone when necessary (probably also when not), has a semi-friendly co-parenting thing going on with her ex, and is just all around adorably ridiculous.
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9. Casey McDonald from Life With Derek
Ignoring Derek in the gif — Casey usually does, too. Casey is a perfectionist, and frankly, sometimes quite annoying about it and some other things, and yes, she definitey initiates a lot of the arguments between her and Derek. And that is why I love her. She is in no way perfect, and her striving to be comes from anxiety and insecurities that are partially the result of the instability in her life. I love how, no matter how much she may despise Derek, when there’s a real problem, she tries to help. She cares about the people in her life, and I can’t wait for her to return to as a mum of four!
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10. Ashley Garcia from The Expanding Universe of Ashley Garcia
Someone give the world TO her, please?? It’s a shame this fandom is so small because she deserves so much love and appreciation. She’s a literal genius but lacks... a lot of social skills at the start of the show. But she learns from her friends, and gets to experience new things, including having a crush for the time (and the second!) and she’s just generally living life as a fairly normal teenager. While still being an absolute genius. I just love this smiley little dork so much!
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Tagging: @pad-foots @donnas-troia @childofsquidward @multifandomlover121 @superarrowverse @dance-is-life27 to participate if you want to, but as always, no pressure! And anyone who wants to do this but wasn’t tagged — you have been now! Go do it!
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tipsycad147 · a month ago
October: The Blood Moon
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By Patti Wigington
Updated May 27, 2018
If you're looking for information about the four lunar eclipses that took place in 2014 - 2015 that are referred to as the Four Blood Moons, please skip over to the following article: The Four Blood Moons. The article you're reading right now is about the October full moon, sometimes referred to as the Hunter's Moon or Blood Moon, and it is a different subject altogether.
The Blood Moon of October
In October, we see the Blood Moon travel through the sky. This moon is also called the Shedding Moon or the Falling Leaf Moon, depending on where you live. In many places, it's the Hunter's Moon, and it's no coincidence that hunting season is in the late fall. Coming right before Samhain, this is a time when the nights are crisp and clear, and you can sense a change in the energy around you.
October Full Moon Correspondences
Colors: use colors like dark blue, black, and various purples in your altar decor or candle magic, to symbolize the darkening of the skies this time of year.
Gemstones: Obsidian, amethyst, and tourmaline are all associated with Samhain and the October full moon; these are stones often connected to magic that protects us from evil or negative energies.
Trees and flowers: Apples and yew are two of the many trees tied into the Samhain season. You can also incorporate sacred flowers such as marigolds and chrysanthemums, which come in handy when working with the spirit world. In some traditions, they’re a centerpiece for funeral decorations or grave memorials.
Gods: Herne, Apollo, Cernunnos, and Mercury are representative of the late harvest season.
Herbs: Use apple blossom, pennyroyal, mint family, catnip, and Sweet Annie in your magic this time of year.
Element: Air is often tied to October's full moon, so focus on magic related to communication, wisdom or the powers of the mind. Air carries away your troubles, blows away strife, and carries positive thoughts to those who are far away.
How to Celebrate the October Full Moon
This is the time of year for hunting and gathering, stocking up on provisions, and making plans for the coming winter. The dark and cold nights are a reminder that for our ancestors, this was a time to consider mortality - those who failed to plan accordingly in late fall could freeze or starve to death before winter ended. Set aside a few hours to can your garden vegetables, hang the last of your herbs to dry someplace indoors, and begin figuring out what sorts of things you can do over the winter to help keep yourself warm and well fed. If you knit, sew, or crochet, stock up on yarns and fabrics so you can begin working on new projects when it's too chilly and dark to do anything outside.
Keldayra is a Pagan who lives in Oklahoma, and she says, "Where I live, the cold weather comes in with a vengeance, and it's often unexpected. I usually spend my evenings in October and November knitting blankets in front of the fire - they keep me warm, give me something to do with my free time, and I get the added bonus of having a bunch of handmade gifts to give out when Yule arrives."
You may also want to use this moon phase to do a ritual honoring your ancestors. Work on your genealogy, dust off the family heirlooms, and hang some photos of your clan and kin around the house. Decorate your altar with symbols of the Samhain season, as well as with items that help you connect to all of those in your bloodline.
Tenae, over at The Witch of Howling Creek, says of October's full moon,
"The Blood Moon refers to the final harvest: not in fact, an agricultural harvest, but that of the last meat of the year before winter returns. Appropriate, of course, as Samhain is the final harvest festival. You can, of course, interpret the Blood Moon many ways however. You might take it literally and spend the day mixing your own sausage ... or preparing items for simple winter meals such as stew, chili or tomato meat sauce. You could take it to mean familial blood and perform a ritual to honor your ancestors ... [or] a protection rite for your home and family or simply share a meal together."
Keep in mind that this is the season when the veil between our world and the spirit world are at its thinnest. Use this time for spiritual growth; if there's a deceased ancestor you wish to contact, this is a great month to do it. Hold a séance, work on your divination, and pay attention to messages you get in your dreams.
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bxrbxtos · a month ago
hardworking woman
a/n: this is based on a conversation i had with one of my mutuals on my birthday; “imagine- Mikasa relaxing at the kitchen table after a long day of work. Hot cup of tea in her right hand- her left hand tangled in your hair underneath the table as you push that pencil skirt up more and more, laying kisses down as you go-”
this work includes -> mikasa/fem reader, hinted at yandere mikasa but only barely, smut, oral sex, aprons, mikasa in a pencil skirt, ceo mikasa ackerman, hair pulling (no detail for the hair tho, color texture etc.), reader is mikasa’s housewife lmao, face holding, consensual sex
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mikasa had always worked hard, ever since she was a kid she’d been that way. of course, this didn’t change when she married her wife, and it had been the starter of many arguments throughout their entire relationship. (name) was the woman mikasa had fallen for in high school, and they had been together ever since, high school sweethearts if you would. tiny arguments here and there couldn’t be enough to tear down the dynasty of trust and affection they built together, of course, and mikasa understood where her wife’s annoyance came from. 
she worked too hard, that was her problem. 
mikasa exhausted herself for good reasons, though. being the ceo of a huge company was bound to be stressful, but on the other hand, it was extremely rewarding. mikasa made good money, and she spent a majority of that money on her cute wife, even if the other woman protested against certain things sometimes. 
mikasa loved coming home to (name) and seeing her all dressed up, her favorite being the adorable lace apron she had gotten her wife right before they had even tied the knot. it was a very light pink color, so light you could barely tell it was pink, and where it rested on the chest was a heart shape. eren had called it cheesy, but mikasa absolutely loved it, seeing her wife in her presents always made mikasa happy, however, the apron never failed to send a shiver down her spine. 
that was how she felt this morning when she woke up to the smell of waffles cooking in the kitchen. mikasa never found it pleasant when she didn’t wake up with her wife snuggled into her chest - read, breasts - but the thought of (name) cooking had mikasa up and ready, gray eyes moving to the clock on the wall and realizing that she did actually have to get ready for work. 
slipping out of her night shirt and pulling a white button up shirt over her arms, mikasa thought faintly that this morning was pleasant, and the idea that her darling wife might be shuffling around in mikasa’s favorite apron had the black-haired woman breathing through her nose deeply, a deep flush being brought to her pale cheeks as she envisioned the sight in her mind, slipping on her black pencil skirt over her hips all the while. 
never disappointed, mikasa finds herself smiling gently to herself when she arrives downstairs to see (name) placing a mug of mikasa’s favorite tea on their dining table, the cutesy apron hugging her frame delightfully. mikasa nibbles on her bottom lip a bit as she watches her wife head back into the kitchen, supposedly to finish breakfast, but the woman stops mid step when she catches a glimpse of her wife in the room. 
“morning ‘kasa,” (name) says softly, knowing that her lover probably didn’t want too much excitement this early in the morning. they used to live with eren and armin when they were in college, and mornings then had always been filled with shouts and stumbled banging, as eren jaeger was a chaotic person by pure nature. “i made you breakfast, and you’re tea’s on the table, just let me finish the waffles real quick…” she’s cut off by mikasa. “no, how about you come here first?” 
(name) wasn’t too sure where that sentence was going to lead her, but she wasn’t about to complain, especially as she now looks up at mikasa through her eyelashes, a soft smile on her lips. 
getting on her knees for mikasa had never been difficult, and she quite enjoyed the female body, especially mikasa’s. lips pressed delicately to the inside of mikasa’s thigh, (name) can feel herself start to get riled up as well, her breathing still normal, but she guessed it wouldn’t be like that for long. “you’re so soft, mika,” she starts to say, chirping out one of the many nicknames she had for her lovely, hardworking wife, she supposed ‘mommy’ would be too much in the morning, but either way she was enjoying herself. “you have such nice thighs, too, they’re so soft and comfortable.” (name) purrs out the last word, her lips pressing several kisses to mikasa’s thighs as the black-haired woman gripped onto her hair gently. 
raising both of her hands, (name) starts to inch up mikasa’s lovely pencil skirt, one (name) loved oh so dearly. it just looked so nice on mikasa, because the woman had such nice legs. she continues to kiss up mikasa’s thighs until she was face to face with her wife’s clothed pussy, smiling to herself as she sees the black, lacy piece of fabric. mikasa had never been the promiscuous type of girl, but she liked feeling pretty. 
(name)’s other guess is that something else had gotten into her usually reserved lover this morning. she was all too aware of the power her favorite apron had over mikasa, but they never had the time before to explore mikasa’s fascination with the piece of fabric. (name) decided that they had the time to do it now, even if it did mean they had to put a hold on breakfast. waffles, she supposed, could wait. her pent up wife always came first. 
with that in mind, (name), still on her knees, presses a soft kiss to mikasa’s clothed pussy, reveling in how she knew such an action was sure to always drive the black-haired woman insane. mikasa’s hands came down to (name)’s cheeks, and the woman smiled gently when she felt how hot the flesh felt under her cool hands, letting mikasa know that it was not just her who was needy for affection seven in the god damn morning. 
hands holding (name)’s burning cheeks, mikasa leads her wife to her needy spot, wanting to whine out but she knew (name) would do what she needed her to with the small gesture. 
the woman under mikasa nods her head and pushes mikasa’s panties to the side before licking a stripe up mikasa’s wet slit. mikasa’s eyes are trained on (name) as the woman kneels below her and the feeling of a warm, wet tongue circling around her clit has the woman seeing stars, she has the sudden urge to throw her head back and slam her pretty gray eyes shut, but she decided that the image of (name) looking up at her and making eye contact while she licked her pussy was something she couldn’t give up. her fingers left (name)’s face and found refuge in her hair, while her other hand came to the dining table so she could balance herself. 
mikasa knew better than anyone else that (name) was good with her tongue. other women could fantasize all they wanted, and in college they did, the ones she could barely remember were annie and hitch, but they’d never get to actually feel it. they’d never get to see the lovely sight of (name) on her knees with cum coating her chin. that had always been a thought that comforted mikasa, because even if they had rough patches, (name) would never do this to anyone else, because she knew the consequences for such actions. 
“mhmn!” mikasa suddenly moans out as she feels (name) start to suck on her clit, fingers squeezing mikasa’s thick thighs as she grips onto the table, her hips stuttering as wet sounds of (name)’s tongue resonate through the dining room. it had been so embarrassing the first time she’d gotten oral, because while mikasa didn’t talk much, she whined. 
her pale fingers grip into (name)’s hair, and mikasa holds her in place as she grinds herself onto her lovers face desperately, soft moans and whines leaving her soft lips. mikasa feels her thighs shake as her orgasm hits her like a pile of bricks, all the stress of her job coming crashing down with it. she fucks (name)’s face throughput her orgasm, knowing that her juices are most likely dripping down (name)’s chin onto the light-pink apron she wore as she was still very much on her knees. 
(name) smiles as her face was drenched by her hardworking wife, sweetness being compensation for the mess mikasa had no doubt made on the floor and the stain of cum she’d have to clean out of her favorite apron. she could never hold it against mikasa, though. 
and she had a hunch that her darling wife would be late for work this morning. 
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end note: i… don’t even know what to say, this was supposed to be much shorter, it was supposed to be a drabble 😭🤲 anyway, i hope this was good, I’m a lesbian so i only know how to write lesbian sex scenes lmao
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pearlsongfromstuff · a month ago
Hi its the oc ask anon from before! The New God OCs look intriguing and im always a sucker for dnd!
I watch Kyo's stuff too so all of that is really interesting as well, but the New God thing is drawing me in. If you want to talk about other ocs that's okay, but thats the one that has my interest atm
Have a good day pearl!
Thank you so much, Anon! I'ma nickname you Anny, Anny. So anyways, with just New God OCs (The name New God actually is name of my biggest AU that houses most of my main stories and my OCs. The name was inspired by the name Bad God but instead of a "Bad" God, there are "New" God's running the world. Fun little fact)
So with just these OCs alone we have 33 OCs, so I'ma give brief explanations for them
(Note: All the OCs with (*) are made by @chaoscorners-blog since we share these OCs but they were his original concepts)
(Also some other vocabulary you might need to know for this AU:
Minnrig- A fake Micronation near Ukraine and Romania where most of the stories take place. This place holds all the power in this universe
Red Eye Curse: Also called the 2p Disease or Madness Curse, the Red Eye Curse was a magical curse that plagued most of the 2p Universe. It drove people to madness by making them selfish, power-hungry and manipulative. It's also why the 2p Universe was known as the "Evil Side" while the 1p Universe was known as the "Good Side". It eventually disappeared 10 years as fast as it appeared)
Pearl and *Angel (He/they / He/They): The "New Gods". They run the universe and live in a castle near Minnrig. Though they may seem kind and thoughtful on the surface, they're actually not that good of people. I recommend not coming close to them.
Darling (She/Her): Adopted daughter of Pearl and Angel, she is known to have any magical powers. Not much is known about her since she rather hide in the Ancient Records within the castle
Star and Rose (He/Him, She/Her): Star and Rose are also adopted children of Pearl and Angel but unlike their older sister, they have magic. Star and Rose are probably more powerful than Pearl and Angel combined. Star is more adventurous and wants to learn about the magic in the world while Rose tries to live a more normal life, away from her godly heritage.
*Viktor and Sal (He/Him, They/Them) : Two 2ps that escaped to the 1p World, they live with Pearl and Angel as caretakers for Star and Rose. Star is the most attached to them, calling Sal "Mama" and Viktor "Dad".
Lewton (He/Him): The personification of Minnrig, Lewton is also the Detective of the town. He's also the husband of Bazarov (who we'll talk about if anyone asks about 2ps) and he's also responsible for the end of the Red Eye Curse.
*Zargon and Diablo (He/Him, She/Her): The Adopted children of Bazarov, sadly they were found around the time Bazarov had the Curse, they were taught since adoption to become soldier, and they're mainly representative of Heart (Zargon) and Mind (Diablo). Bazarov actually stole Diablo's heart for years, making her very heartless and making her a war criminal like her father while her brother always seemed to get the blame. After many years and while Lewton was working on saving the world, Zargon found Diablo's heart and they got the fuck out of there.
Deera (She/Her): The eldest sister of Zargon and Diablo, Deera kinda left her siblings for dead after the death of their birth parents. She instead headed to the Fantasy universe and kinda became a fucking villain in the stories, mainly manipulating anyone for whatever she wants.
Riley (She/Her): Another adopted child of Bazarov (He has a lot), She was raised while Zargon and Diablo were but sperate. She later on took over her father's place as General.
Abble (She/her): An (say it with me now) adopted child of Bazarov but with a twist: She's also Lewton's daughter. She actually has a nice upbringing unlike her other siblings because Bazarov was free of the curse when she was being raised. Her siblings are highly jealous of this.
Bean and Loki (He/Him, He/Him): Bean is a cat who radiated too much magic and can now turn human. Loki is a Mochi America but somehow, during hatching, gained more of a conscience than his other Mochi brethren. They're also married after many weird circumstances.
*Azreal (She/Her): To put it shortly, she's a bootleg Dr. Frankenstein. She has a never ending thirst for knowledge and uses such knowledge of other universes to bring people to life and to create life. And in one story, she kills Nevo......sooooooo-
*Mono (He/Him): During life, he was a simple manga artist with a wife and child but after horrible circumstances, he ends up dead at the hands of a gang. Azreal takes him and brings him back to life. Sadly, during the "bringing back to life" process, his soul is merged with a more evil soul, so now two personalities are contained in one body. Mono being the more awkward side and Parasite having absolutely no chill.
Pearl Song (Any Pronouns): Originally my very first cringy Marysue OC, we revamped her into being another of Azreal's projects. She has the power of the everything due to her past life and now uses that power in her current life to cause chaos with her favorite brother, Mono.
*Foalina and *Matthias (She/Her, He/Him): Another project by Azreal, they are two bunny twins that travel the world as performers. On stage, Foalina is seen as meak and weak while Matthias is more flirtatious and cunning. Off stage, they hate each other with a burning passion
*Caddy (She/They): Another project by Azreal, she is a mute traveler of the many universes. She is very excited soul that likes any good story.
*Shyane (She/Her): Azreal's first project, at first, Azreal saw her as a daughter and she saw Azreal as a mother but after time, their relationship became more strained and she became more of a servant than a daughter. She is very nurturing and caring.
*Demonic and *Ivan (She/Her, He/Him): Demonic is another project by Azreal which Azreal didn't just take a dead body and reanimate it, she actually created her. She was mainly used for experiments until she finally left. After many unfortunate events in her life, she gives birth to Ivan, her son. Ivan is the light of her life and just is an absolute sweetheart. We see more of them during Ages AU.
*Lilla (She/Her): A girl from the 1500's that left her home to become a Teutonic Knight so she didn't become a maid, after her entire crew is supposedly murdered and the enemy is after her, she starts working for a witch in the woods who eventually send her to the future to escape death sentence.
Amelia (Amy) (She/Her): Basically Amy Rose (from Sonic series) but she is an old interpretation I had of her in 2016 that she basically became my OC. Anyways, she also comes to our present and meets Lilla and after she helps her understand the world around her (which Amy sees as old technology), they actually fall in love and get married, yay!
Cosmo (She/Her): Daughter of Amy and Lilla
Amore (She/Her): Amy's past lover that basically gets in fights with Lilla a lot
Kaarlo (He/Him): Lilla's past lover that dies of hypothermia after looking for her in the snow. F in the chat
Berry, *Duke, Nicholas, and *Cole (Any Pronouns, He/Him, He/Him and He/They): Basically two femboys (Berry and Cole) and two hunks (Nicholas and Duke) in a Dream Scape
AND THERE ARE ALL MY ORIGINAL CHARCTERSSSSS. Damn that's a lot of typing for one phone. Anyways, I hope this entertained you guys! I will take any asks you have. I will also post some art of all of them later
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finding-a-whim · a month ago
Milk And Honey (Michael Demiurgos/Reader)
Fandom: Lucifer (Netflix)
TW: Some character disagreements
Summary: You experience some déjà vu and Michael is off his rocker. Another bump in the road to peace.
Meet Your New Partner [Masterlist]
You sit at your desk, busy reading through your notes for your current case. It’s been almost a whole day since you’ve last seen Michael. You are pretty worried. You have no way of contacting Michael, in fact no one does, he doesn’t have a phone. God isn’t around to help you. Lucifer and Amenadiel were about as helpful as a wet shoe. Your chest has been hurting, your throat feels lumpy. You’ve asked Tom to be your partner for the time being and he agreed thankfully. You’ve decided to throw yourself into your work and try to move forward.
This case was a nasty one. Someone murdered Annie’s mother, Evelyn, in her own bed. Of course the obvious suspect was her ex husband, but he did have a good alibi. Oddly enough, as you read through this file it seems familiar. You read this file before. You’re sure of it. It’s like you’re having déjà vu. You shake your head and continue reading the file. Tom suspects Jack, Annie’s boyfriend. It was a bit out there, but you had no other leads. He thinks they’re being too touchy in some of their Facebook pictures. You didn’t think so, but you might as well investigate it. Tom has been acting very odd. You have no idea why. You close the folder and stand up from your desk. Tom looks up from his phone at you.
“Alright, let’s go talk to Jack,” you say. Tom stands up.
“Let’s do this,” Tom says. He walks to the exit. “I have the pictures saved on my camera roll.”
“Good thinking,” you say. You go to follow Tom, but freeze. Michael speed walks towards you and Tom. You both pause.
“Michael?” You say once he’s close enough.
He doesn’t even look at you. Michael closes his fingers together, swings his elbow back, and strikes Tom hard across the face. A loud cracking noise echoes through the precinct. Your jaw drops. Blood spurts from Tom’s nose as he falls onto the ground. Tom moans and holds a hand up to his nose.
“Michael what the Hell—”
“He killed Evelyn,” Michael says.
“How on Earth could you possibly know that? You’ve been gone! And even still that doesn’t give you the right to punch him in the middle of the precinct,” You say. “How do you even know who she is?”
“You have to believe me. I went through a lot to undo the past half hour,” Michael says. You scrunch up your face and repeat the last part of that sentence under your breath.
“What on Earth are you talking about?” You exclaim.
Michael pulls you into a hug. His hand firmly cups the back of your head while his other rubs your back. You stiffen.
“Don’t worry about it,” Michael says. “You’re safe now.”
“Why won’t you answer any of my questions? What is going on? How can you know about Evelyn?” You pull away from him. He pouts.
“I talked to her in heaven,” Michael says. “His fingerprints are probably all over her throat.”
“Shit…” Tom murmurs from the ground.
“Hey thank God you didn’t leave. I would have to wait to tell you since my phone just straight up died, but the fingerprints on her neck don’t match Jack’s,” Ella says as she walks over to you.
Lucifer rushes over to Michael. Chloe groans and stares at the ceiling as she follows him.
“Why on Earth did you get Camael to reverse time?” Lucifer asks Michael.
“Who?” You question. “What?”
“Lucifer we need to go talk to Dillian since we just got back from talking to Adam,” Chloe says.
“We already went! I don’t want to talk to Dillian again because he’s way too obsessed with his crocs,” Lucifer says. “I know you were involved, Michael. Amenadiel has been busy watching Charlie all day. Camael doesn’t use his powers to this extent.  You’re the only one out of the two of us who can go to heaven so—”
“I thought you were banned?” You question Michael.
“Dad lifted all of those commandments for me,” Michael brushes you off. “Camael wants me to be God so he would do it for me. He did it just this once. For a good reason. Leave it at that.”
“But—” Lucifer starts to say.
“Leave it at that! You can’t always get what you want, Lucifer. Talk to Dillian again and deal with it! You’re such a brat,” Michael yells. You, Chloe, and Ella flinch. Even Lucifer takes a step back, speechless. Michael’s angered facial expression falls as he watches you. He takes a step towards you and holds his hands up at you. You step away from him.
“Wow, what flew up your ass?” Lucifer chuckles. Michael glares at Lucifer, fingers twitching to curl into a fist.
You step closer to Ella.
“C-Can you get Tom’s fingerprints and see if it matches?” You ask Ella. She nods.
“Yeah, yeah… This acting is becoming way too realistic. Do you guys ever stop method acting? Ever? Come with me, Tom. Wow that’s a broken nose if I’ve ever seen one,” Ella says.
Tom gets up off the floor slowly and follows Ella. He shoots you and Michael a dirty look.
“Lucifer, we need to talk to Dillian. Now. Come on,” Chloe says. She grabs Lucifer’s hand and drags him behind her.
“We never talked to him!”
“We did you just don’t remember—”
Their voices get quieter until they’re on the other side of the precinct exiting the building, leaving you and Michael alone. Michael walks over to you and holds you.
“Honey don’t be scared,” Michael says softly. You shrink away from him.
“I’m not…. I’m not scared. I’m just so confused,” you say. “I thought you were mad at me? I’m so confused… This is too much. Too much.”
“I’m not mad at you. I was being ridiculous. It was all me. Not you. Camael talked some sense into me. I’m sorry. I really am,” Michael says.
“Your insecurity with Lucifer is getting a bit too much, Michael,” you say. You take a step back. “You’re just so angry with him and I can’t wrap my head around it. I can’t even show concern for him without you blowing up. I thought you changed. I thought I was in the wrong that night… But I wasn’t. I didn’t do anything wrong. Especially after what just happened. You said God lifted those commandments off of you. Well, I don’t think I want you as a partner anymore.”
“You can’t mean that,” Michael sputters. You nod and grab the case file off your desk.
“I do, you can leave,” you say. You walk towards Ella’s lab, leaving behind Michael. You force your fingers to curl into fists to stop the tremble.
Michael stands glued to his spot as he watches you leave. He gulps and stares at your desk. After a minute he leaves the precinct, dragging his feet.
Tom was found guilty for murdering Evelyn. Evelyn also happened to be the same woman he left you for on your date that one time. Apparently, he wasn’t as nice as he tried to be when he was at work with you and your coworkers. Dan is your partner now. The rest of the day at your job went by quickly thankfully. You and the others arranged to meet at the penthouse to discuss Lucifer’s future spot as God that night.
The elevator doors open to Lux. You walk out. Lucifer, Chloe, Dan, Maze, Amenadiel and another woman you haven’t met before stand by the bar. You stand next to Chloe in their little circle. “Who’s this?”
“This is Remiel, she’s our sister. She’s also our eyes and ears for what’s happening in heaven since our other siblings are aware of me and Lucifer’s newfound friendship,” Amenadiel says.
“Nice to meet you,” you say. She gives you a curt nod.
“Michael already has several people standing behind him. It looks like he has a pretty good shot. He’s been pretty busy,” Remiel says.
“So what do we do?” Chloe asks.
“You humans will do nothing. Lucifer, you need to practice fighting,” Remiel says. Lucifer laughs.
“I can fight pretty well mind you,” Lucifer says.
“Is it really going to come down to a fight?” You ask nervously.
“Unfortunately it appears so if he’s making an army,” Amenadiel says.
“That seems so fast,” you say. “When and how did he do it so fast?”
“He’s been pretty busy for most of the day and last night,” Remiel says. “Pretty pissy too if I might add especially my last encounter with him. I wonder what pissed him off.”
You scratch your head and try to hide your nervous smile.
“It’s Michael. When is he not pissed off?” Lucifer says. “And I can fight.”
“You spent most of your time for the past eternity fighting humans and demons. Angels are far superior in everything, no offense to you humans... And demon. Don’t forget it was Michael who won the last time you fought with him during your rebellion,” Remiel says. “You need to practice. If Charlie, a child, was trained in combat like he should be he could beat you now.”
“You really need to work on your bedside manner,” Lucifer says. Chloe wraps an arm around him. He looks down at her and hugs her back. You look away and cross your arms.
“Can’t God stop this?” Dan asks. “A big celestial fight seems like a pretty big deal.”
“We don’t know where he went,” Amenadiel says. “I’ve been praying all day and he hasn’t answered.”
“I like how he came to stop the three of you from fighting but vanishes into the night to let you guys essentially start a battle… Maybe even a war…” You shake your head at the ceiling.
“That’s dear old Dad for ya,” Lucifer says. “Wait, why don’t you seduce Michael?”
“Excuse me?” You say. Your cheeks grow warm.
“He has a crush on you. Maybe you can get big inside secrets. Find out something to make him vulnerable,” Lucifer says. “Sleep with him and steal his mojo!”
“Lucifer,” Chloe hisses.
“Yeah… That wouldn’t work… I kind of ended things with him partnership wise,” you say. Lucifer rolls his eyes.
“What were you thinking? You could’ve gotten so much dirt on him.”
‘Yeah, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that even if things didn’t turn sour,” you say.
“Leave her alone, Lucifer,” Chloe says.
“Yeah, Lucifer. Drop it,” Dan says.
“I’ll seduce him if she doesn’t want to,” Maze offers.
“No,” you say quickly. Lucifer smirks at you. You look away. “It’s a bad idea for sure… No matter who… He can’t be that stupid.”
“Well...” Chloe starts to say.
“Okay I guess he is…”
“He’s a man what do you expect?” Dan says.
“Amen to that,” Maze says.
“So I’ll just practice sparring with Remiel, Maze, and Amenadiel for the time being in preparation for this battle,” Lucifer says.
“I’ll keep tabs on him in heaven when we’re not training,” Remiel says.
“I will continue to pray for guidance from Father,” Amenadiel says.
“I will go home and do absolutely nothing,” Dan says.
“I’ll pick Trixie up from my mom’s,” Chloe says.
“I will take Dan’s lead and do nothing,” you say.
“Sleep with Michael and steal his mojo,” Lucifer whisper-yells at you.
“Lucifer!” Everyone collectively says at the same time. He throws his hands up.
You all say your goodbyes and leave the penthouse. You pause outside on the sidewalk in front of Lux. Looking up at the sky, your lower lip quivers. It’s misting outside. The droplets hang onto your skin and clothes, slowly dribbling down. You speed walk through the streets to the closest cathedral. Scooting and sliding by the people walking down the sidewalk. Your feet move faster and faster as your breath quickens. You walk inside the cathedral. As soon as you’re inside you make the full sign of the cross with holy water. You genuflect and walk down the aisle. Footsteps echo throughout the room, your eyes locked onto the enormous crucifix that hangs on the wall. You pause by the first pew and shimmy inside. You pull down the rest and kneel. The clack it makes bounces across the room sharply. You make another sign of the cross and clasp your hands tightly together, pushing underneath your chin. You pray.
“Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil… Amen… God? My Lord? Father? Please. Please. Oh please. Please. Come back and help. I’m just so lost and confused… And hurt. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong anymore. I know you want to retire and be done with it all. But I can’t do this alone. I need help. I need guidance. I know it’s selfish of me to ask… But at least give me some sort of sign or anything. I just need help…. Please.”
You pray internally. You choke back a sob and lean your head against the wooden pew. You grab a hold of it and hold on tightly.
“God help me.”
I do not do taglists anymore.
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lalunanymph · a month ago
(.1) bruised knuckles
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pairing: jean kirstein x reader, slight armin x annie, eren x mikasa
summary: The moment your eyes met his, you forgot every single prejudice you’ve been raised to remember by heart. A flutter of attraction passed between your gaze and his, almost like a spark of recognition, one that would smolder and burn the impenetrable walls erected between his fate and yours. But, life never made it simple for you. He was no ordinary man.
And you… you were Eren Jaeger’s baby sister. The sister of a man he would have to either kill or be killed by in the ring. His sworn enemy.
warnings: to be added for future chapters
bruised knuckles masterlist 🥊
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Being a Jaeger was no easy feat.
Beyond the heavy responsibility and nobility surrounding that last name which was passed down from one great champion to another, it also signified worth in a world that called for the bloody extermination of your kind – the Eldians.
And so, as a Jaeger, there was always the pressure to be seen and to look good while you were at it.
As the youngest sister to a district sparring champion with multiple notches in his belt, it sometimes spelled out exhaustion trying to keep up a facade.
Your mother noticed the deep circles under your eyes, but did not comment on it as you expected. She had woken you up this morning for Eren’s sparring conference, which was to take place in a few hours.
It wasn’t your fault that sleep evaded you. The inter-district championships were coming up, and Eren was away from home most of the time. As much as you hated his obnoxious presence, you did miss your brother. There was no one to welcome you back from your studies in the library, or who would ruffle your hair when you complain that the thumping bass from his room was distracting.
You even missed his god-awful omelets in the morning, which he always managed to mess up by burning the edges.
Today is the day your brother will meet with his competitors and it was supposed to be an official affair. After all, the rest of the districts were not allowed inside Shiganshina unless they had a special permit.
Eren was with Mikasa and Reiner, his trainers since he was ten, preparing themselves for the upcoming elimination rounds before the other districts sent their best players to Shiganshina. Or, as you like to call it – Bloody Ground.
That was where national champions were made… and many more aspiring champions met their demise.
Your brother could not afford to lose.
Firstly, it would mean disgrace for a sparring family, and the Jaegers were all about saving face. Secondly, the reward of a million marks would no longer be theirs. But, Eren was not money-minded; you could afford to live in luxury.
That was one of the perks of being bloody entertainment to a violent organization.
Your brother was doing this to prove himself. To show your father that he was worthy of the championship title. You stopped yourself from snorting. It’s not as if your Dad cared anyway. He was too wrapped up in his plans to exploit resources from neighboring districts with the higher-ups to pay attention to his hot-headed son’s endeavors.
The Jaegers were by no means a model citizen family. That was as much as you could disclose.
You ran your hands down the silk sheets, yawning.
“C’mon. Time to get ready. I’ll run the tub for you.”
Nodding, you rubbed the heel of your palms in your eyes, effectively earning a scolding from your mother.
“I know, I know,” you grumble. “Premature wrinkles. Sorry.”
Your mother’s expression softened and she tutted. “Go on. We must not be late–”
“– Because a Jaeger has never been late. I know.” Your tone was light, but you did not miss the strain in your mother’s smile.
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The conference hall was crowded. At every entrance, guards stood with their fortified armor, their guns slung by their side, the reflective shine of their visors bouncing off the harsh fluorescent lighting from above.
You were by your mother’s side, surrounded by a group of about three men who were your family’s hand-picked bodyguards.
At any moment, if one of the outer-district competitors rebelled, these men were responsible for putting their lives on the line to protect you and your mother. The red bands around their left arm told of that solemn and honorable role they played.
You shifted from one foot to the other, and found Eren standing in the middle of the room, speaking easily to another competitor. Despite the hidden guns, tenacious peace and sharp lighting, your brother was the picture of ease. That was one thing you envied about Eren; it was how easy he could open up to others.
Compared to him, you were the quiet one who preferred to stay in his shadow, watching as he hogged the glory all to himself. You didn’t mind.
Eren held a big responsibility; as the only heir to the Jaeger family name, he would be the one to bring your family above the Eldian ranks, away from the muck of the other districts and their kind. He would join your father one day in the highest military ranks once he was done with his goal of being a champion sparrer.
It has been his destiny since the day he was born.
In his hey-day, your father was the one who wore that title with pride and brought a life of luxury and peace for your family.
Now, it was Eren’s turn to cement your family name in these bloody halls of fame.
Eren caught sight of you and waved. The other competitors noted the men surrounding your mother and you, and it was as if there was a tension that repelled them like the end of a magnet. They all took a half-step back, almost reverently, as the both of you approached.
“Eren,” your mother cooed and went to hug her son. He wrapped his arms around her, easily a foot taller than her.
“Mom! Hey, nerd.”
You scoffed, but raised your hand in greeting. “Hey, ‘Ren. Where’s Miks?”
“Hmm? Oh. She’s strategizing with Reiner.”
You looked past his shoulder to find the beautiful, raven-haired girl leaning close to Reiner who was speaking to her in a low tone. Mikasa was an Ackerman – another respectable sparring family – and ever since the day she was born, she was promised to Eren as his wife when she came of age.
Recently, both your brother and his betrothed had turned twenty-one, and it was about time for their marriage. Eren promised her that once he secured the championship title, he would marry her, effectively tying the Jaegers and Ackermans for life.
In other worlds, this would’ve made any normal girl feel like she was nothing but a prize to be won and doled out. A pawn in a game of powerful men. But, strangely, Mikasa liked your brother.
Eren guffawed loudly and patted the back of one of the Jinae competitors, who seemed flustered that he was getting this reaction out of a Jaeger.
You really had no idea what she saw in him.
Your father had not yet played the marriage game with you because you were still too young. But, you knew the moment you turned twenty-one, you wouldn’t be exempted from the gold rush.
Everyone wanted to be on your father’s good side and that included some equally powerful men.
You shivered and your stomach rumbled. Realizing you haven’t eaten since yesterday, you tug on your mother’s sleeve, catching her attention.
“I’ll head to the cafeteria for a bit. I’m gonna get some food. You want any?”
She shook her head and gestured to the closest bodyguard. “Follow her to the cafeteria.”
You shook your head. “It’s fine. I’ll be quick.”
Your mother gave you one of her infamous hard stares, and you grinned cheekily at her. “Promise! I’ll be in and out of the cafeteria in no time.”
She sighed and waved the bodyguard away. “Fine. Fifteen minutes, okay?”
You nodded, relieved to be away from the bustle of simpering men and women alike who wanted your brother’s attention. Part of you was glad that you did not take up the sparring life. Who would’ve known how fast you would crack under the pressure.
The conference hall gave way to a corridor, and you passed by those closed rooms, picking up muted voices murmuring behind each sealed door. You knew this was where the other districts were meeting for their strategizing sessions.
Despite the thin veneer of friendliness the other competitors gave to Eren, you hated the way they extended a handshake to him, all while they held a knife to their back, ready to stab him once his guard was down. But, that was your life as a Jaeger.
Your family did not get to the top by sheer luck. There was more blood spilled between your roots than there ever would be from any house.
Quickening your steps, you suddenly felt uneasy. You realized now that this was a prime spot to be attacked, and when the cafeteria came into view, you breathed a sigh of relief.
These halls were as familiar to you as your home. Ever since you were in diapers, you were here to witness the formation of family and business ties, all while your father plotted and planned with his trusted men to bring down another promising young champion from a rival house to maintain his grip on the bloody crown.
There was no news yet on who were the most promising champions. But, you were sure you would hear it from Eren once he came back home tonight.
You turned to find Armin running towards you, his blonde hair fluttering with every rushed step he took.
“Armin!” you cried and ran to him, clasping him in a tight embrace. He let you go the same time you did and you both assessed each other with a bemused grin.
“How’re you–?”
“How was your trip–?”
You both chuckled, embarrassed and he gestured for you to speak first.
“How was your trip to Marley?”
“It was great!” he enthused. “I haven’t told your brother everything yet, but I’ll debrief with him soon. Say, were you getting something to eat?”
You nodded. “I’m freaking starving.”
Armin chuckled at your poor attempts to curse. If your mother heard what you said, it would be another hour of a lecture on being a proper lady.
“C’mon,” he said and linked his arm through yours.
The blonde boy before you was like another brother, and he was equally as close to Eren as Mikasa was. Once upon a time when you were growing up, you did have a crush on Armin Arlert, but you grew out of it when you realized it was because you didn’t really have many boys around you. Or friends, for that matter.
He opened the double doors, and the both of you stepped in. The air shimmered with the steam of food, and you saw that the cafeteria was moderately filled with people. There were two boys sitting by the side, quietly eating a tray of the standard fare Shiganshina doled out for outer-district visitors.
There was an elderly couple seated in a hidden enclave and there was another group of people on the left. Even though meals were a social time, there was hardly any conversation, and you suddenly felt like an unwelcome intruder. There were eyes on you, and you kept your head down and turned to Armin, not wanting to catch anyone’s eye.
If you were seen without your bodyguards, the outer districts may get the wrong idea.
Armin bought you a chicken sandwich and even though you insisted you could pay, he did it anyway. That was the one thing you liked about him; he was the exact opposite of your brutish, obnoxious brother.
The both of you walked back to the hall, speaking to each other in low tones. He told you all about his trip to Marley and how he met another sparring family – the Leonhart's – who gave him a place to stay for the night. You even saw him blush when he recounted how Mr. Leonhart’s daughter had told him to keep in contact with her when he returned to Eldia.
You were about to tease him on who the mysterious lady was when the hall came into view. But, that was not the only thing that caught your eye.
It seemed as if the forced camaraderie between the champions were cut short by the arrival of the Trost competitors.
There were three of them in total, all tall, imposing, and dressed in their district’s formal wear of a kinetic black suit that showed off their impressive frames. There was a blonde boy with a crew cut and an unsmiling face and another shorter one with cropped gray hair, and a lackadaisical look in his eye. But, they were not the ones who caught your attention.
In the center stood the tallest boy, his expression pinched and brow furrowed. He was easily over 6 feet, close to your brother’s height with a few additional inches. Eren was already foreboding enough with his reputation and height, but this man had a look about him that told you he could challenge your brother.
His hair was long and touched the nape of his neck, sweeping across his forehead, the same burnished auburn as the color of his sparse beard and sideburns. But, it was his eyes that stole the show. They were small and narrowed, a piercing bright hazel, and held a glint that told anyone within a five-mile radius that he was not to be fucked with.
You nudged Armin. “Who’s that?”
He already knew who you were talking about. “That’s Jean Kirstein. The champion from Trost. Those are his other stand-ins.” Armin tensed beside you and you quickly glanced at him.
His mouth was set in a hard line. “I’ve heard a lot about him back in Marley. He doesn’t come from a sparring family. S’matter of fact, he’s from an ordinary family with no history. But somehow, he fought his way through the underground rings and managed to secure an invite to the federation. He’s… almost as good as your brother.”
That last part made you gape.
If that sentence came from anyone else who was not in your inner circle, it would sound like a poorly veiled attempt of flattery. But, if it came from your brother’s best friend since they were both toddlers… your heart skipped.
It meant that he was as deadly as Eren. He was as bloodthirsty as him.
It meant that your family’s name might be in danger.
Danger… that word felt so foreign in your mind.
It seemed as if Jean could sense that he was being spoken about. Before you could avert your eyes away, his hazel ones roved towards your direction and pinned you to the spot.
The moment your eyes met his, you forgot every single prejudice you’ve been raised to remember by heart.
Your chest tightened, your breath lodged in your throat.
His gaze was magnetic and you couldn't look away. Time slowed, coming to a standstill. The voices faded to a hum. If it wasn’t for Armin’s warm grip around your arm, you would’ve floated into your mind and it would take a lot of convincing for you to come back down.
A flutter of attraction passed between your gaze and his, almost like a spark of recognition, one that would smolder and burn the impenetrable walls erected between his fate and yours.
But, life never made it simple for you. He was no ordinary man.
And you… you were Eren Jaeger’s baby sister. The sister of a man he would have to either kill or be killed by in the ring. His sworn enemy.
The corner of his lip twitched, almost as if he was fighting back a smirk, and he dropped his gaze, cutting that connection between you two.
Your breath returned and you suddenly felt faint. Armin seemed to notice and looked alarmed.
“H-hey, you good?”
Forcing a smile, you nod.
Your gaze crept back to him, and you noticed he was speaking to his blonde comrade, his expression constrained. But, as if you held a beacon to him, his stare flitted to you, and you felt warm all over again.
There was a dancing light in his eyes before he looked away, almost as if he was taunting you and you could hear it.
‘Ha. Caught you twice’.
Mortified, you dropped your gaze and pushed Armin towards Eren.
“C’mon,” you mumbled. “Eren would want to see you.”
You tried to ignore how you could feel his stare on your back and half-wished you didn’t have food in your hand. How the hell were you supposed to eat like a normal person when that just happened?
Eren welcomed Armin with a hug and a thump on his back. The two wasted no time in catching up, and when Eren’s eyes shifted to a spot behind you, you knew exactly what he was staring at. More likely, who he was staring at.
You didn’t need to turn around to know that Jean was approaching.
You froze and tried to play it off by staring at Eren’s cheek, opening your mouth as if you meant to speak to your brother, your lips twisted into a paltry rendition of a smile.
That was before you heard his voice.
“Jaeger. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Eren seemed to sense the danger wafting off this other man, and he quickly glanced at you. You forced yourself to turn around and look at him. Even if he stood a few respectable feet away from you, you could sense the tension surrounding the small group.
It wasn’t just you. Passers-by were stopping to stare.
Jewel-green eyes met hazel ones, and you instantly knew how much your brother hated this man. It didn’t take long for you to know. The tight look on his face told you everything.
But Eren was ever the diplomat and he extended his hand. “Kirstein. My friend here was just talking about you.”
Jean shook his hand firmly. “I see my reputation precedes me.”
Your brother forced himself to grin, and you didn’t miss the way he was practically crushing Jean’s hand in his. “How’re you finding Shiganshina?”
Jean let go of his hand first and Eren dropped it to his side, surreptitiously flexing his fingers.
“Good,” he commented. “The women here are beautiful.”
You didn’t miss how his glance flickered to you for just one nanosecond before flitting back to Eren’s. Mercifully, your brother didn’t notice.
“You’re too kind. I heard that Trost women are just as beautiful, if not more.”
Jean lifted his broad shoulders in a shrug. “What can I say? We have the best wine.”
Charmer. You knew he was good with his tongue.
Eren seemed to notice that, too.
But, it didn’t matter.
It didn’t matter if Jean Kirstein was attractive and a smooth-talker. It didn’t matter that he was slightly taller than your brother.
And it sure as hell didn’t matter that you could practically feel his body heat rolling off him in waves, taste his virility on your tongue that spoke of hidden desires and danger. He was tall – towering above you. If he wanted to, he could smother you with his weight alone, if the crushing attraction wasn’t enough to cave you in.
It all didn’t matter.
Because in a few months, it would be him against Eren.
A warrior prince of Shinganshina against the infamous underground Trost killer.
And only the best man will walk out of the ring alive.
163 notes · View notes
tomhardysteeth · a month ago
Use Your Imagination
2.9k Eddie Brock/Venom Based entirely on the Venom: Let There Be Carnage trailer
Eddie woke up to the feel of his body tugging indiscriminately out from his back. He sighed and reached behind himself, easily finding a tentacle and tickling it until it retreated back inside him.
Wake up, Eddie, Venom said cheerily, running a slimy three-pronged tendril across his face delicately. We’re hungry.
“Ugh, can’t you just bring me something in here?” Eddie replied grumpily, burying his face in his pillow.
No. Venom took control of his legs and lifted him up and onto the floor, and Eddie momentarily lost his balance before a tentacle righted him.
Eddie groaned and stretched his back, cracking it. He headed to the bathroom and took a piss while a tentacle brushed his teeth.
He was exhausted, because he and Venom had finally tracked down all the guys harassing Mrs. Chen and had spent half the night running—literally running—them down. But Venom was even more chaotically energetic than usual because it had gotten to eat three people.
And Eddie couldn’t drink caffeine anymore—Venom hated it—so he was resigned to his orange juice and to spending the entirety of the morning just trying to wake up. 
“Babe, what the hell are you making?” Eddie asked as his body shifted minutely with the extension of several tentacles all over the kitchen. 
Breakfast, Venom replied as it knocked several things out of the fridge and onto the floor.
“You can’t possibly be hungry.”
No, but you are. 
Eddie wasn’t entirely sure how their digestive systems worked, but he knew his body didn't even notice when they ate people, and his appetite was completely different than it used to be and also completely different from humans in general. He had to eat big, disgusting meals at least three times a day, and despite Venom assuring him that they both needed the sustenance to survive, Eddie couldn’t help but notice that he had gained weight.
Not that he could get on a scale. He broke his bathroom scale when he tried, presumably because a massively dense alien inhabited his body. That being said, his belly stuck out farther than it used to and his jeans were too tight.
Venom was making a mess and singing along (terribly) to the radio, so Eddie took a seat at the kitchen table and tried to dig his phone out of the pocket of his robe with his hand, but a tentacle got to it first and handed it to him.
He scrolled for a few minutes, ignoring the crashing sounds and the fire that he could see in his peripheral vision. Venom would clean it all up eventually, so it was fine. 
“Don’t forget to feed the chickens,” Eddie said distractedly, still looking at his phone.
Don’t forget to feed the chickens, Venom mocked in a nagging voice. 
They always had a few chickens in their apartment that Eddie got from a local farmer so Venom could eat live meat whenever it needed it. Except for the one chicken Venom had apparently imprinted on and was actually just their pet. Venom had named her Popsicle.
Ta-da, Venom said as it dropped two plates stacked high with who knows what underneath the waffles. 
“Thanks, Vee. Looks great,” Eddie lied. 
Venom swirled the end of a tentacle across his face, and Eddie reached up a hand to hold it steady so he could kiss it. 
Venom always helped with eating, because despite Eddie’s weird appetites, he still found it difficult to actually put food to mouth without gagging a bit. He also hated how long it took to eat enough to make him full, so Venom took to mindlessly feeding him, quicker than Eddie could feed himself, while he checked his emails and read the news.
What do you want to do this weekend? Venom asked as it put a fork to Eddie’s mouth.
“Nothing,” Eddie mumbled around the food.
Oooh, spicing it up a bit from last weekend when we did nothing.
Eddie huffed a laugh and reached for a limb, tangling his fingers through the threads of Venom’s biomass. 
After breakfast, Eddie got caught up in reading on his phone, so Venom took over control of his body and moved him onto the couch. It laid him on his back and propped pillows behind his head and under his arm, then it produced several tentacles out of the center of his chest and took to cleaning the mess it had made.
Eddie couldn’t see his phone past the tentacles, so a smaller tendril emerged and held it for him. His hands free, he stuck his right down the front of his boxers and lazily played with himself. 
Venom ignored him, too busy humming along to the radio to notice that Eddie was getting hard. After about five minutes, Eddie got bored and stopped his hand, resting it palm down inside the waistband of his boxers. His neglected boner softened.
There was a knock on the door, followed by Anne’s voice shouting at them to turn off the music. 
Eddie jumped and reflexively sucked a couple tentacles back into his body. Another limb caught his phone before it fell to the floor, then even more tentacles came out of his back and pushed him upright and closed his robe for him. 
Venom had cleaned much of the mess in the kitchen, but there was still cereal all over the counter, dishes piled precariously in the sink and on the stove, bullet holes in the fridge door, a tire swing hanging by the kitchen table, gaping holes in the ceiling, a four-foot stack of various bones from different creatures in the corner—hacked up by Venom during digestion.
“The chickens—grab the fucking chickens,” Eddie whisper-shouted as he walked to the door, Popsicle under his arm. 
Venom grabbed the other three chickens and held them out of sight of the cracked door. 
“Hey, Annie,” Eddie greeted. 
She tried to peer through the door, but Eddie had a tight grip on it, only revealing a sliver of his body to her. 
“You didn’t text me last night,” she said.
Eddie closed his eyes. “Right. Sorry. We got home really fucking late, and it just slipped my mind.” 
“Eddie, I have to know you’re OK.” Anne tilted her head and moved her eyes like if she looked hard enough then the door would magically swing open. 
“We’re fine, Annie. We took care of things.” Eddie avoided telling Anne details of his and Venom's vigilantism, but he always tried to text her to let her know they were safe. 
“Are you holding a chicken?”
As Eddie looked down at the chicken under his arm, Anne shoulder-tackled him and the door simultaneously and made a break for it into his apartment. Venom immediately encased her in tentacles and tossed her back into the hallway and slammed the door shut in her face.
Several neighbors yelled and banged on the walls, demanding that Venom shut the fuck up. 
“HEY!” Eddie shouted at the top of his lungs. He grabbed a broom with his hand and a mop with a tentacle and aggressively hit the ends of them against the ceiling and walls. “NEED I REMIND YOU FREELOADERS WHO TOOK CARE OF CRAIG?” 
Craig was their (missing for 35 days and counting) landlord. 
Anne pounded on the door. “Eddie, open this fucking door, I swear to god!”
Eddie forcefully cracked the door, only enough for Anne to see one of his narrowed eyes. “You’re not allowed to judge how we live.”
She pushed on the door, and he allowed her to come inside. A solid minute passed in which Anne stood in the middle of the apartment with her hands on her hips and surveyed the room without saying anything. Then, in an even tone:
“Alright. First question. Tire swing?”
Venom continued cleaning. Eddie stood next to Anne.
“Do you want the real answer or the PG answer?”
Anne’s whole body revolted. “Ew, oh my god. Gross, gross, gross—”
No, Annie, look, it’s just for this, Venom said, extending a head out of Eddie’s shoulder and snaking several tentacles around the tire. It spun the tire as fast as possible in one direction and then unraveled itself in a gooey mess as the tire spun in the other direction. 
“Oh,” Anne said. “Is that really what you use it for?”
Venom’s head was in the middle of the tire with limbs extending out to swing itself back and forth. No, I suspend Eddie in it and fuck him until he cries.
Anne cursed and threw her hands up in the air. Eddie and Venom laughed.
“Alright, next question.” Anne said after she had recovered. “Are the chickens for eating?”
“Yeah, except for Popsicle.” Eddie pointed across the room at where Popsicle was pecking at unidentified detritus on the floor.
“How the hell do you know which one Popsicle is?” 
“What do you mean? She’s that one.” He pointed again.
“They all look the same, Eddie.”
No. Popsicle looks like that. Venom pointed a tendril toward Popsicle. And the food looks like that. Another tendril split off into three prongs to point at the other chickens. 
Anne dropped her head and put her fingers to her temples, rubbing in circles. 
The toaster oven exploded. 
“Jesus, Vee, what did I tell you about—”
WELL maybe if SOMEONE would let me steal an oven then we could—
“Where the hell are we gonna put an oven in here? You gonna steal it from one of our neighbors?”
They continued arguing with each other while a tentacle grabbed a fire extinguisher from their stash of fire extinguishers in the coat closet and put the toaster oven out. 
“I don’t think you’re gonna get your deposit back, Eddie,” Anne said, still looking around his apartment. Her eyes stopped on the wicker basket full of dildos by the TV, but she didn't comment on it. 
A rock hit Eddie’s window. Venom opened it and stuck a tentacle out, and the neighborhood kids down on the street cheered and asked if it had time to play. 
“Go ahead, babe,” Eddie said.
It always felt a little strange when Venom removed so much of itself from inside Eddie’s body. It of course had to leave some still inside him, but just one tiny thread connected them together as Venom fanned out on the outside of the apartment building and juggled as many mundane objects as the children had in their power to throw up at it. Rocks, old toys, dolls, basketballs, baseball bats, a lawn chair, a pan of broccoli casserole, a cat. 
“How the hell do you live like this, Eddie?” Anne asked. 
Eddie cleared a space on the kitchen counter by shoving cereal onto the floor, then he grabbed two mugs off the sink pile and dug the coffeemaker out from the back of an extremely disorganized cabinet. The coffee itself was hidden from Venom in a plastic bag duct taped to the wall behind the fridge, so Eddie easily nudged the fridge to the side to retrieve it. He figured if Venom played with the kids long enough, he could get a little bit of caffeine in his body without it noticing. 
He said to Anne, “I’m in a relationship with an alien. What do you expect?”
Anne looked at the fridge then at Eddie, clearly confused by his inhuman strength. “I don’t know? For you to still act like an adult human?” 
Eddie internally tugged at the strands of Venom still inside him and found just enough biomass to make thick black veins pop out all over his face. “How ‘bout now? Do I still look like an adult human?”
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
Eddie pulled the veins back in. “Stop worrying about us, Annie. I know it looks like a disaster in here, but that’s because our life is a disaster. It works for us.”
A child shrieked in a loud laugh. Eddie could just barely see through the window that Venom was juggling the 5-year-old twin girls that lived in the apartment below them. 
“Babe!” Eddie yelled. “Put the girls down before somebody calls the fucking cops!”
The girls aww’d their disappointment as Venom carefully lowered them to the ground. 
He turned his attention back to Anne and waited for her to continue.
“Are you, um, safe? Like, what are the logistics of life?”
Eddie scrubbed a hand down his face. “Well, Annie, Vee is made up of a whole bunch of malleable tentacles, so I’d say use your imagination.”
Venom slithered its way back in, so Eddie tried to gulp down his coffee but didn’t finish before a tentacle wrenched it out of his hand and slung it into the sink.
“How do you know you’re not, like, subjecting yourself to some kind of alien STDs?” Anne asked. “Or, like, what if it’s changed your body composition so much that you guys are, like, capable of reproducing?”
Venom and Eddie both gasped and smiled at each other, Venom’s head floating just a couple feet away from Eddie’s. 
Eddie said, “Oh, that would be so cute if we had a little—” at the same time that Venom said Aww imagine if it had your good looks and my complexion—
“Fucking Christ, you guys are intolerable,” Anne interrupted. “Can you not be weird for, like, two seconds?”
Venom pouted at her and moved its head over to Eddie’s shoulders, nudging at his face and bumping against him like a needy cat. It wrapped two big tentacles around his waist like arms, and Eddie dropped his hands over them and squeezed affectionately. 
“What else did you come over here for, Annie?” Eddie asked.
She cleared her throat. “I was going to ask if you and Venom would like to come over to my apartment sometime to have dinner with me and Dan.”
Venom’s head popped up from where it was resting on Eddie’s shoulder. Dan is finally ready to hang out with me?!
“Yes, but he’s still a little delicate since—”
I tried to stick my tongue in his mouth when you were kissing him goodbye before going to rescue Eddie from Riot, yeah, I get that.
“You what?” Eddie asked.
“So if you could just try to temper yourselves a tiny bit, maybe leave the chickens at home and don’t talk about fucking each other,” Anne concluded. 
“He knows that we’re fucking each other, though, right?”
“Yes, but knowing it and being confronted with it are two totally different things.”
Hey, Annie, tell Dan I think he’s boring.
“Hey, be nice,” Eddie chastised, reaching a hand up to pat Venom’s face. 
Anne told them she would let them know a date and time, then she headed for the door with Eddie close on her heels. She turned and hugged him on her way out and didn’t flinch when a couple tentacles clung to her, too. 
They’re not going to feed us enough, Venom said after she was gone. 
“Yeah, we’ll have to pre-game.”
Eddie went back to his lazy spot on the couch and Venom went back to tidying up. This time, when Eddie’s hand inevitably found its way into his boxers, Venom took notice right away and teased a small tendril out of his thigh to join in on the fun. 
“You broke the Alexa yesterday, babe.”
Right, I’ll just have to sing it myself.
Eddie closed his eyes and leaned his head back, stroking himself slowly. “Please don’t.”
Venom rumbled a complaint through Eddie’s entire body, but then it snaked two tentacles over his shoulders and down his chest and pulled his boxers off completely. Two more tentacles pushed out of Eddie’s back and hammocked him in, folding underneath him and then turning up toward the ceiling to grip the holes.
When they started having sex, it wasn’t really so much of a monumental decision as it was Venom participating in literally every single other aspect of Eddie’s life that it just didn’t make sense for it not to be involved in the most fun bit. After Venom had been with Eddie for a week or so, Eddie couldn’t avoid his sex drive anymore and tried to quietly jerk off. Venom, having already stuck its tentacles into everything else Eddie did, simply wrapped a limb around Eddie’s hand and helped him out. And Eddie, stupid and horny, had immediately asked the alien to fuck him with its tongue. 
So, here they were.
With Eddie suspended, Venom moved its head under him and licked its way around his rim. There was still only one small tendril helping his hand pump his cock, but they had plenty of time to—
“Eddie, I forgot my—oh my god, oh my fucking god, oh my fucking—”
Eddie dropped back down on the couch, biomass encasing his nakedness in a safe little cocoon, but Anne had already rushed out the door and slammed it shut. 
He sighed. “I guess she doesn’t have to use her imagination.”
139 notes · View notes
intaspend · a month ago
I’m aware that I’m just a random person so my thoughts aren’t high on the “matter” scale, but I figure if I just keep everything in my head then they’ll never get higher on the “matter” scale. Anyway. 
This is mostly in regards to the AOT ending, but applies to other manga too, like Naruto. There was another one but my brain function is low right now because I’m recovering from vaccine side effects. 
I will get into my personal opinion on the ending at the second half of the post, but the thoughts I want to get out aren’t specific to the AOT ending, so I’ll try to refrain from spoilers until my point has been made. 
When it comes to extremely popular and mainstream stories, I think it is far too easy to forget that they are made by human beings who still have room for improvement. Isayama, specifically, was an amateur upon starting AOT, and it shows. There are unimportant writing issues from the first couple chapters. 
Naruto too, has many writing issues, including timeline wackiness, and a bit of directionlessness that really shows it’s fangs in Shippuden.
The authors aren’t perfect, but the characters and story they created drew people in. There are going to be plot points, character developments, and endings that are disappointing in popular media because good storytellers aren’t storytelling gods. 
The other issue that contributes to this is the nature of a serially published story- one that isn’t written in full, or at least mostly written and outlined before they publish. With a serially published story, it’s easy to make organizational mistakes, or rush through things, or take things too slow, as you have no chance to go back and fix things on a larger scale. You can only edit the chapter as it’s coming out, and you have an extremely limited time to do so. Isayama has himself admitted to running into this problem (organizational problems with the content that makes up season 3 of the anime).
The author of Naruto has also admitted to having problems with characterization- ones that could have been improved given time to edit the work as a whole. 
It is not rude or ungrateful to recognize and critique these flaws, though there are certainly comments that are stated rudely or are out of line. 
From here, there will be spoilers as I’m going to talk about the AOT ending specifically.
I did not like the AOT ending. While it doesn’t ruin the series for me, I felt that it could have been done a lot better, and that it doesn’t adhere to the expectations that have been built up throughout the whole series. 
However, I’m not mad at Isayama (though some of the messages that came across regarding Ymir were frustrating...). In fact, with not that many changes I honestly think I could have really enjoyed a similar ending.
The first of the egregious writing flaws that compounded into not liking the ending was the time skip. The time skip was done badly. If you don’t believe me, compare the time skips at the very beginning of the series to the time skip before the Marley arc. There isn’t proper build-up or cool-down to and from the time skip, so you feel very suddenly thrust into a very different situation, and things stay confusing. The characters are very different, for unknown reasons (Armin suddenly becoming a pacifist, Eren doing a 180 personality-wise, etc...) and these reasons aren’t explained. All reasoning for these changes comes from Eren’s interpretation. 
We are eventually given a reason for Eren’s change, but it feels unsatisfactory, and doesn’t erase the muddled confusion of the previous chapters, especially because the dude straight up says ‘I don’t know’ when asked what made him kill millions of people.
A lot of the buildup from the previous seasons was leading towards a happy, perhaps bittersweet and slightly open-ended ending with a small amount of the main cast (Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Levi, Jean, Historia), perhaps still having to face difficulties in their life, but no longer being trapped and persecuted by the titans and experiencing freedom. 
If that sounds almost, but not quite like the ending we got you’re starting to see why I’m frustrated. 
The second of the egregious writing flaws was that in a much shorter period of time then the rest of the story, a large amount of cast is introduced or reintroduced that are supposed to be critical characters that we relate to. 
I honestly can’t even remember most of their names. We have crazy lady who liked?(mightve been the hater) Eren, Floch (I can’t actually remember him, I just heard his name about), Zeke, Gabi, her boytoy who is really sexist and selfish, and a bunch more on this list I looked up just now 
I’m counting at least 14 new characters, but I’m assuming not all of them were of importance so I’m going to cut that in half to 7 . 
OG cast going into the final season: Eren, Mikasa, Levi, Jean, Hange, Armin, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, Annie (Historia doesn’t count as she’s ignored the entire season... which is a writing flaw in itself).
That’s 10.
So that’s 17 characters that you have to focus on in around a fourth of the time. The majority of which are getting characterized or recharacterized. This shows. Mikasa, who according to the ending was integral to the plot, gets like, four lines. Historia isn’t existent. Annie, who we’ve been waiting and waiting to see again, does next to nothing. She’s really shy compared to her previous characterization, and I really don’t get her motivations, and there is literally no time spent on what’s going on in her or anyone’s head because all the time has to be spent on the plot. 
Honestly the only satisfactory characters are Hange and Levi. Their storyline played out perfectly, no complaints. Characterization and growth stayed strong and Levi got the ending he deserved. 
This is getting long, so to close out I’ll sum up the changes I would recommend (as a personal opinion) to make the ending more satisfying:
1. Build up to the time skip, and reintroduce old characters and introduce new characters in a more thorough way.
2. Make it significantly longer, making Historia an integral part of the plot still, and navigating the delicate international situation.
3. Show Eren struggling with the memories overwhelming him, and show hints of his past personality- Honestly, I read a fanfiction where young!Eren gave a speech about how he didn’t get why everyone was surprised he wanted to kill the people persecuting them, and I fully believe a similar speech from old!Eren was warranted. 
4. Give. Mikasa. Screentime. Honestly, having her confront Eren with her intention to kill him would be an awesome scene. Especially if the Yeagerists tried to assassinate her for it and Eren stopped them. 
Like I said, brain power l o w, so if I made some egregious mistake here go ahead and point it out, though I’ll ask it be done politely. 
And again, just to be very clear, I am not hating on Isayama, or the series.  
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writtendevastation · a month ago
The full chapter 10 of RH:ADC
Warnings: This chapter is pretty okay, I think?
this chapter was several days in the making cause ive been ill and then couldnt find motivation to write, so I apologise
However, to make up for it, this is the longest chapter yet at 3.2k words
@abalonetea @ettawritesnstudies @writing-is-a-martial-art​ @purgatorydotexe​ @poore-choice-of-words​
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Chapter 10
    I’m still getting used to the idea of sleep. I didn’t think I’d need much, but I can’t really fight what comes naturally to Humans.
I’m still in pain from where my wings were cut off but its such a relief to not have that weight throwing me off balance.
    Sebastian and I have been talking about starting to get back to normal with our jobs but Sebastian will not be able to due to the fact he is still recovering from his injuries.
I said I’d be able to, give it a day or two and I’ll be fine. Gladys knows we need to start dealing with what we have to, pretty soon and Glenn has been helping her.
    “Sebastian?” I turn to him as I sit down on his bed as we return to his room.
    “Yeah, Zach?”
    “Do Gladys and Glenn know each other well? Because they’re acting like they have known each other a while.”
Sebastian laughs, coughing a little and grimacing in pain.
    “I don’t know, in all honesty. I guess he may. If he has, good for him. Glenn has a history. Well we all do and sometimes you don’t know what to ask because you might overstep the boundaries.”
  We sit and chat for a while and it is clear that something is on Sebastian’s mind but I don’t want to press on and upset him.
I don’t know what else to talk about now. We’ve talked about so much already and I want to find out more about his family, talk about what life was like for him growing up but I don’t know how much he’d want to tell me.
   Sebastian falls into a deep sleep again and I try to see if I can heal him but nothing works and I sigh, frustrated. I wish I could keep my powers as a Human, but I can’t. Its the rules and that is the way its always been. I get a drink and pass by Annie’s room and find she is in there, passed out completely and so I leave her be, but close the door to give her privacy.
   The voice does not belong to any of my friends. I look around and call out to the voice. I head back into Sebastian’s room and sit down on his bed to keep him company and still the voice calls my name.
    “Zachariah….” It isn’t noticeable at first, but I swear I sense a change in the air. The hairs on my neck are standing on end and I tense up, ready to fight though I have no weapon on me.
    I look around but then turn to face Sebastian and find he’s disappeared. I look around and find the door to his room is wide open and the air has grown colder now. I can feel my heart begin to beat like a drum in my chest and I try and leave the room but find myself enveloped in a bright white light. I close my eyes.
    I’d know this feeling anywhere. Its how teleportation works.
Its hard to describe the feeling. Its like being pulled in several different directions all at once and its hard to settle your stomach even when the feeling has passed.
I wait for a few minutes and then open my eyes, freezing temporarily at what I see.
   I’m in what appears to be an open field. Heaven can be whatever you want it to be; whatever you wish it to be but I know what I’m seeing is not what I want it to be. There is nobody else here except for the three heavenly figures in front of me. Two figures look like 6ft tall women, and one of them looks to be a male, slightly shorter than them.
   The first woman to my left has the most beautiful blue eyes on any woman I’ve ever seen. Her skin is almost as white as snow. Her long hair cascades down her back; black, curly and clearly well looked after. Her lips are slightly blue too but it is lipstick, I’m sure of it. She is wearing what appears to be a tattered dress. It looks like a wedding dress but in the purest blue like the sea and looks like its straight out of the Victorian era. She is wearing bright blue heels that look like they’ve seen better days too, like these clothes are the only thing she has to wear. And also the only colour she will wear. There is a glow to her figure – literally. She is of course a God. Her name is Pandora.
She speaks again and I know it was her that was calling out to me.
   The woman next to her has a short black pixie hair cut; her eyes are brown and her skin is dark brown but she too is glowing. She’s wearing a man’s suit with black heels and her clothes seem to be in better shape than Pandora’s own. The suit is grey and white and kinda depressing but her smile is dazzling. But the way she is holding herself; the way she is standing...You can tell she is one of those people that think of them higher than everybody else. I look to her and she just scoffs at me like she thinks I’m some sort of peasant and her laugh is something out of a horror movie. This woman’s name is Zarah.
    The man to my right thinks that we shouldn’t even have the right to look at him and to others he may just look like a ball of light and warmth, but Pandora tells him to stop and so he makes himself known so I can see what he wants me to see. He’s lighter in skin tone than Zarah and he’s wearing black trainers, black jeans and a blue t-shirt with a leather jacket. He does not even want to look my way and looks towards Zarah. Xander. His name is Xander. With the way he looks at Zarah and the way they both are acting, you’d think they were married.
   I look to Pandora.
    “You brought me here? Why?” I ask.
Pandora circles me, pressing a hand to my back where my wings should be and making a disgusted noise, whispering something in Zarah’s ear and she giggles.
Xander looks at Pandora and Zarah. Zarah reaches out to take Xander’s hand. Yeah. There is something definitely going on between them.
   “Where are his wings?” Xander asks, refusing to even look at me.
I think its because they obviously know what I’ve been up to lately and I know that this entire conversation is going to turn sour very quickly. But why do they care and why do they want to talk to me now, after everything they’ve ignored over the years?
My head hurts and my hands fly to my head as pain washes over me and I don’t really know why. I look to Pandora again and she laughs.
    “The more you try to remember, the more you find you will be forgetting.” She says
I don’t know what to say that. I don’t really understand it either.
The pain goes away as quickly as it comes.
   “Where are your wings, Zachariah?” Pandora asks.
   “I’m becoming Human because I’ve spent too much time on Earth. Sebastian offered to cut off my wings to help me out since I couldn’t use them.” I say honestly
Xander’s face scrunches up like he’s been sucking on a lemon and I have to hold back a laugh.    “Sebastian? You trust Sebastian, a stupid Human who we’ve all heard about, who is more trouble than he’s worth!?” Xander reprimands me; voice deep and booming.
   “You don’t know him!” I protest.
Zarah and Xander laugh manically.
   “Don’t you sound like a child.,” Xander stops laughing, wiping a tear from his eye and he still refuses to look at me. “Sebastian has a reputation, that much is true but what he is and what he will be should not concern you. It is what it is.”
   I ignore this and press on with other matters that I feel are more important.
   “I’m glad you brought me here.” I say. “I need to talk to you about Raphael. Do you know where he is?”
Pandora quickly looks to Zarah and hesitates for a brief second.
    “Raphael? Why should we care about him?”
I can sense lies behind what they say but I ignore it because we have more pressing matters.
   “Raphael is tearing Earth apart and he’s working with Halphas, a Demon. We need to stop him. You’re Gods. You know you need to stop this.” I say.
    “We cannot find them. Even if we could, Raphael is not the reason we brought you here.” Zarah cuts me off.
   “Why then? Why did you bring me here? To judge me for what I’ve done of my own accord?”
   I shake my head, disgusted at their own priorities seem to be to berate me for doing what I have done.
Zarah grabs me by the face; hand underneath my chin as she gets a good look at me like she’s inspecting me for something. She then pushes away from me, letting go.
Pandora crosses her arms and then orders Zarah to stand down. I can tell that they’re just moments away from using their powers to smite me where I stand. They’re nothing like Mother. They will never be anything like Mother and I want to ask where Mother is, though I know there are more pressing matters at hand.
Mother would not approve of how things have changed in the millenium she’s been gone and how her helpers have been acting.
    “Why do you feel the need to be with the Humans instead of your Angel brother and sisters?” Pandora inquires.
    “I joined the Hunters because they actually give a damn about what is going on in the world. We’re trying to stop this world and make the world peaceful. Its not my fault my brothers and sisters are doing nothing but watching.” I snarl.
   “Mind your tone, Zachariah.” Xander orders.
I turn to Xander.
    “Xander, no offence but I know you don’t exactly care, so what are you doing here?”
He does not answer and Zarah does say that she and Pandora can handle things from here on out, so Xander nods and disappears. Don’t know where and don’t care.
Pandora unfolds her arms and begins circling me, never taking her eyes off me.
   “You’ve always been one to disobey orders, Zachariah. You can’t even do what you were made to do.” She says. “Always interested in that pretty boy Sebastian and his Shapeshifter blood. Not that that mattered to you, because you didn’t even know until you found out later...”
   “But I have been doing what you asked of me. It is the Demons that have not. How long before we have to deal with lost spirits left wandering the world because the Demons did not send the souls to Hell? What has Lucifer got to say about all of this?”
    “Lucifer has no power. He answers to us. You answer to us, you have a job to do.”
   “And your job is to look after Earth. What have you been doing whilst I’ve been doing your job for you, of giving a shit about our creations? What do you want me to do, act like a mindless sheep and pretend like nothing is wrong?”
   “Precisely!” Zarah cackles. “There has always been a plan for this world and it does not involve you. But that is not why we brought you here. We knew you wouldn’t understand so lets move the matter to something you do care about…”
  Pandora stops.
   “There is a traitor in your close circle of companions. Somebody who will hurt you in more ways than one and you need to know that. Because then you’ll see that you cannot trust those who you think you can.” Pandora says seriously.
   “You’re going to school me on who not to trust, after everything you’ve ever done? After you won’t even help me search for Raphael and Halphas? How dare you.” I hiss, immediately regretting what I said.
The two girls instantly turn on me. Pandora has to hold Zarah back.
   “How dare ‘we’? How dare you talk to us that way!” Zarah screeches.
   “You have a chance Zachariah. Everything happens for a reason. You have to understand that what is going to happen, has already been written and we must see it come into fruition.” Pandora’s voice takes on an echoey-god like boom.
   “What so you’re not going to stop Raphael and Halphas?” I ask.
   I stop.
The fact that they say a traitor is amongst the group finally hits me and I find myself frozen in fear to the spot. I can hear laughter again, So much laughter as Zarah and Pandora find this whole thing funny. I’m trying to work out who it is in my head and I’m praying (how ironic) that it isn’t Sebastian or anyone. But then I remember Collette. I don’t want to think its her. Maybe they’re wrong. Maybe they’re just saying all of this to try and get me to turn on my friends. But they don’t care about anything other than themselves and its clear they’re just going to sit and watch until only one side of the war is left standing.
    “You can come back to us if you want, Zachariah. You can get your old powers back, your old job, your wings...All you need to do is leave the Humans and let them deal with their own problems.” Pandora’s voice pierces through my thoughts.
   I shake my head and snap out my thoughts.
   “Why can’t you just help us fight this evil?”
    “Do you want us to repeat ourselves?.” Zarah snaps.
   “But you’re the Gods!?” I protest.
    “Once upon a time long ago, things were different, that much I will admit.” Pandora spits in my direction. “But things have changed. There is new management now and there is nothing that can be done. Nothing you can do will change what has been foretold, what will be and what should be. Everything has its time and everything has its place.”
Zarah shushes me when I try to protest and offers a word of warning in the form of a rhyme. Both Pandora and Zarah speak in unison and honestly, it sounds like they’re Demons themselves.
   “One in the circle will betray you all, one of you is not the first to fall. Working in tandem at the Demon's call. Heed my warning, your fate is sealed. All at once, everything will be revealed.”
  I don’t say anything. I’m still trying to work out who it is. Nothing they’re saying at all makes sense. I know its not Sebastian. Sebastian would never do this. If he had, he’d known about Raphael and the others all along, He wouldn’t have set out to create a place for US Hunters to reside as a group so we can all work together as a team. If Sebastian wanted to kill us, he’d have done so when he met us. But then, why would Sebastian ask us to kill him if he ever turned evil, if he is already evil? Sebastian is not the one, not when Raphael and Halphas need him for something and Sebastian has actively gone out of his way to help people, so why would he turn his back on the ones he loves?
    Laura and Leah would never turn to the Demons because they’ve been actively pretty vocal about how they hate the Demons and don’t understand why their mother would turn to the dark side. We still haven’t figured it out either and I’m pretty sure they have tattoos or warding so they can’t get possessed by Demons. So it cannot be them.
   Caroline and Glenn are still a mystery to me in a way. Caroline gives me Mom vibes and she’s always looked after us, cooked for us and she’s been very protective of Sebastian. She’s always working to protect others like Sebastian has, and Glenn is the same. Alice, Gladys and Hunter are definitely not the ones because they weren’t involved with us when Halphas and Raphael’s sights were firmly on us, the US Hunters until this whole mess we just barely got out alive from.
   Obviously it can’t be me.
   Which just leaves Collette. I don’t know when she could have turned to the dark side, if she has. But we’re going to need proof and we’re going to need to stop her. But I want to know why and what she has against us. All we’ve ever done is help her. Why would she have called the others to the UK to help her, if she just was going to betray us at a later time?
   Unless the Gods are just trying to mess with me?
I don’t know what to believe anymore.
I don’t want to believe its Collette.
I transported her and David to her daughters house to sort out the funeral. Do the daughters know what their mother is up to?
   I’ll need to think about it all.
My face falls.
    You’re really not going to help us, are you?” I ask Zarah.
Zarah shakes her head.
    “We are helping you. By warning you that you will be betrayed. We have better things to do. Other things need our attention.”
  They’re just making excuses, trying to justify that the Humans created this mess and they deserve to die by their own terms. Pandora even says so.
They’re more hurt at the fact I want to become Human, to be with the Humans than to care about who I am entirely. They just want another worker enslaved to them, to do their bidding with no questions asked.
   “Is that all you brought me here for? To chastise me for the fact I am becoming Human and I would prefer to spend my time with them instead of you?” I ask like a small child being told off.
I know I’ve been blind. But I didn’t think it would hurt so much.
   “You really are pathetic.” Pandora shakes her head and waves her hand as if to say she’s done with me.
   “Don’t come crying to us when everybody you know, turns on you. We’ve done what we can for the greater good. You’ll be sorry.” Zarah tells me. “Everything that will happen, will happen because you trusted the Humans.”
  I ask them what it is that they have against my group of friends, but I know I will not get a straightforward answer. They know about Sebastian. He’s always had a reputation up here in Heaven amongst the Angels and stuff. Why the interest? I do not know because nobody will tell me.
  It is clear that this conversation is finished. I’m the one in the wrong here and there is no other way, despite the fact that their logic is so flawed and nothing makes sense. I do nothing but watch as Pandora, with a flick of her wrists, sends me back to where I came from.
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seaxnce · a month ago
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i can't tell you who i am. i can't tell you where exactly the mission is. i know i say this, but i titled it "gainsfield missionary church". good luck finding it on a map. it's nowhere special.
i should start off by explaining that i have no misgivings about completely blaming my parents for this. they're not good people. people of god rarely are. if that insults your fragile sensibilities, then you're probably guilty of being a judgy jesus-freak, too. you fuckers ruin everything. honestly, just get bent already.
it was a year ago when i was called to the gainsfield missionary church after submitting to the priesthood. the old fart in charge apparently had family he never saw, because he was the only one running the shitshow, and so the plan was to train me to take over from him. listen, all i cared about was that this pristine little hovel was about a thousand miles away from my parents and basically undiscoverable, unless you've been there before. my parents could threaten to come visit all they liked - they'd never find me. this suited me just fine.
the minister in charge was a big man. 6-foot-fuck-you with shoulders like a line-backer and hands that could crush the skulls of the skeptics and non-believers to dust. i, on the other hand, could never shake off looking like a lanky, skinny skater kid from chicago, which is what i was - except now i wore a suit and had the power to marry two sorry bastards.
by now, you've probably concluded that i'm ill-fitted for the life of servitude. you would be correct, compadre. the one and only reason i decided to join the bible fandom had been to get my overbearing, self-righteous, republican parents off my ass. i knew they called people of god to work and i knew the chances were high that they'd send a little yuppy like myself to some nothing-town. it was perfect. my parents thought i'd submitted to their way of life, i got to move far the fuck away and i never had to deal with outward homophobia again as long as i lived - if, naturally, i played my cards right.
anyway, this mission was standard as far as small town churches went. well kept and kinda spooky. you could feel the cisallohet white judgement staring at you everywhere, from the wood-panelling to the porcelain figure of crucified j-man hanging from the pulpit. i was shown around leisurely by the minister in charge's wife, annie, and after every little flourish of "look over here" i was given a radiant smile meant to convey capital g's pure love or whatever-the-fuck.
"this is where you'll be staying," she said, pointing through an open door, into a small room that held a single bed, a basin and mirrored medicine cabinet, a desk and a closet. the only window was at the back of the room.
"thank you," i said, humbly, and went inside to dump my stuff on the bed.
"i'll be in henry's office if you need anything else." another radiant smile and then she was gone.
i peered out the small window and into a tiny courtyard of sorts. it was almost too pretty, like something you'd see in a movie or a catalogue for gardening. there was a simple stone bench, beneath a weeping willow, and the whole little enclosure was ringed with violets. the stonework making up the floor depicted jesus walking on water to the onlooking of his disciples. none of that really caught my attention, though. no, what got me was the dude casually smoking what looked like cloves on the bench, in a nirvana shirt and converse so clearly fucked up from skating. now, i'm 24, but you never really outgrow your skating phase. so, i figured i'd go down there to introduce myself.
as i walked back down, i realized i was sleeping in a kind of spire, of which every window looked out on the merry little scene i'd witnessed from mine. i could see this guy from all angles, and he did not look the churchgoing type, if you catch my drift. long, messy hair, a ring through his nose and eyebrow, ripped jeans, tons of those thin, black, rubber o-ring bracelets. i know you get free-spirited church people, too - i'm not a fucking idiot - but not that free-spirited in a town like this.
the last view i had of him was through a window right next to the door that led outside. however, i threw the door open to find the courtyard empty, a curious smell of cloves in the air. i inspected the courtyard for another door, but found none.
okay. weird. but not worth staying up over.
that night, however, i woke up at about 2 am to the sound of music ringing through the halls. it felt hollow and muted, like it was coming from a long way down. it was also most definitely not church music, which is what prompted me to investigate. the minister in charge, henry, and his wife didn't sleep in the mission like i did, which meant - aside from the groundskeeper - i was entirely alone. i wasn't scared, though, which could just have been my family's scarring influence run rampant: if i die, i die. nothing really tops death.
so, down i went, wearing nothing but boxers and a hoodie. the windows into the courtyard cut through the darkness enough for me to see, which rendered my phone's flashlight temporarily useless. the farther i went, the louder the music became. i thought about the guy that'd disappeared from the courtyard earlier. maybe he was back to screw with me some more. if that was the case, he and i had to have a talk about timing. you don't fuck with my sleep. 
anyway, i was right about it coming from a long way down. i made my way into the mission basement, flickering light signaling lit candles behind a door which i thought led to the boiler room. i opened the door and the music - green day's longview - cut out abruptly. inside, i smelled cloves again, but stronger, like someone smoked in there a lot. i scanned the room for the stereo and found it sitting on the floor, near the left wall. other than that, the room was lit with maybe a hundred prayer candles, but totally empty. i went over to the stereo, trying to understand what the hell was going on. i stopped dead in my tracks about 3 feet away, though: the power cord was broken in half. further inspection yielded that it was not battery powered. so, how had it been playing music? i figured there could be about a million different, sound explanations and that i was scaring myself for nothing. i turned to go - and stopped again.
there, in the door, was the guy from the courtyard. he was smiling in at me. i moved slowly closer, calling out to him.
"hey," i said. "listen, you have sweet taste in tunes, but it's kinda late to be blasting green day, don't you think?"
he just stood there, on the threshold, like he was waiting for me, that same peculiar smile on his face.
"so, do you, like, live here?" i asked. "did you light all these candles?"
no response. i was about four feet away.
then, suddenly, all the candles blinked out like they'd been switched off, and the guy in the door was gone.
i have never run as fast as i did that night, booking it back to my room and slamming my door shut. i'd lain awake under the covers until sunrise, listening for anything to give away the presence of someone else in that mission with me, but it'd been quiet the rest of the night. when i got up to get ready for the day, though, and pulled my sleep things off, i got a faint whiff of cloves on my hoodie.
*           *           *
it's about a week later, and i was just an integral fucking part of the congregation. the old ladies loved me and called me adorable. the parents loved that i was "setting a youthful example for the kids". some of the men gave me wary looks, but i guess they reasoned i can't be too much trouble if i'm a holy man. it's like these morons entirely forget what a bad track record altar boys have, until it happens to them. that was such a fucked up comparison, i'm sorry. i come from a broken home.
also, i wanted to say i hadn't seen the guy again, but that's a lie. i saw him about 4 times. i spoke to henry about him; asked him if he knew about a guy with long hair and piercings smoking cloves in the basement. i was told that it was probably some delinquent kids, and to pay it no mind. wow, i love transparent setups to bad horror movies. anyway, by the end of the week, i was determined to track this dude down. i felt possessed, to be honest, and more than a little scared.
it was a monday night when i decided to get cozy in the basement with the prayer candles. henry and annie were gone for the night, so i brought down some bedding and my phone and bluetooth speaker. i decided to dress down into a pair of comfortable sweatpants and my favourite blink-182 t-shirt. once i had my shit all spread out, i played some nirvana to set the mood and started to light some of the candles. it took some doing, but i was determined to light all of them like they'd been that night i first came down here. i tried not to lose my shit at how none of the wicks looked like they'd carried a flame before. this was fine. it was all fine.
"woah. is this a date?"
not gonna lie: i jumped out of my skin. the sound i made was about as pathetic as it could possibly have sounded. i dropped my lighter, stood up and turned around.
there, near my bedding, was the guy.
"d-does it feel like a date?" i replied, keeping my eyes riveted to his.
"yeah. a little bit," he answered.
his voice was melodically hollow: like a deep note from a woodwind instrument. he was still wearing the fucked up sneakers, ripped jeans and nirvana t-shirt from before. in the blazing candlelight, his eyes were pale green. he kinda looked like the lead singer of an indie band: too pretty for his own good, but disheveled enough to downplay it. i hated him for that.
"so, um, who are you?" i wanted to know, standing awkwardly across the room from him. something told me to keep my distance, and you tended to listen to your instincts where gorgeous, mysterious, presumably-paranormal guys were concerned.
"jesse," he said. "you?"
i told him.
"rad to meet you, i guess," he smiled slightly, looking me up and down. "sick shirt. i assume they're pretty big now."
i looked down at my shirt, frowning at his comment. "yeah. pretty big."
something about this guy was definitely majorly off. i had a feeling he'd tell me what, if i asked, but i wasn't sure i wanted to know. this was too weird. i'd rather just talk to a gorgeous dude about music and smoke cloves, if that's alright? i have a feeling you're cool with that.
"since this feels like a date, do you wanna hang out? talk about music?" i asked, edging closer.
"definitely. listen, do you have smokes? i'm out," jesse said, spreading out on my comforter.
i pulled a clove-cigarette out of my pocket. his entire face lit up. motherfuck, this guy was gorgeous - like one of the fake renaissance paintings of angels in the mission foyer. that is probably the single gayest thing i've ever said, but, jesus h. christ, i was downright enthralled.
we shared the smoke and discussed green day for a minute. i was once again reminded something else was off when he'd never heard of american idiot. he hadn't even heard of warning. i decided not to press it, and we had a long talk about early green day and shared our favourite songs via my spotify. this continued on to nirvana, and turned into discussing conspiracy theories about how cobain hadn't committed suicide. it was probably the best date i've ever been on, even though neither of us called it that, and nothing truly date-worthy happened. the most we shared were a few smokes and a love for decent rock music.
"so, howcome you're a minister?" jesse asked, before dragging on the cigarette. even him just doing that, his cheeks hollowing slightly and his lips pouty around the filter, was making my stomach do flips. "no offence, but you do not seem the religious type, like, at all."
i nodded. "totally fair, man. i am not the religious type. this was my best bet to get away from my shitty family. they're these huge bible-thumping republicans, and i'm about as straight as george michael. now, i'm free, and they're off my back."
"oh my god, i fucking feel you. this place would crucify me upside-down if they ever caught me," he returned, smirking as i took my hit off the smoke. "i've been threatened so much, i'm actually looking forward to hell."
did that mean he was gay, too? if i'd been the praying type, that's what i would've been doing right then.
"i know exactly what you mean," i replied.
it was quiet between us for a while, then. we finished the cigarette, and then jesse stood up. i did the same, not really knowing what else to do. he stretched, revealing toned stomach. i forced a blush down with all my might - like, insane levels of self-control. as it was, he barely noticed and instead looked at the door. i tried not to look too disappointed.
"listen, i should go, and you should go to sleep. you know how henry gets on missionary-tuesdays." his expression was so put-on and sarcastic, i almost swooned when he raised the eyebrow with the ring in it.
jesse smirked again. "i, um, had fun tonight."
he was looking down at his sneakers when i answered, "hard same. here i thought this place was going to bore me to death before i had a chance to get out."
"glad i could offer some distraction." his voice was definitely loaded. i was not imagining it. i wasn't, okay?
"so, do i see you again tomorrow?" i didn't want to sound too eager, but i didn't want it to be whatever, either.
"wanna skate in the parking lot tomorrow night?" he asked, his eyes glinting mischievously.
he stood there awkwardly for a minute. i know! him, awkward! i was about ready to lose my shit.
"cheers, dude."
it'd been several years by that point since i'd jerked off with as much fervor as i did that night. bits and pieces of jesse kept cycling through my mind like a fucking supercut: his bottomless eyes, his shaggy hair, his solid-looking body under his shirt. heaven must be real. how else would you explain this?
*            *            *
jesse and i had several more non-dates. we smoked up the basement, got drunk on communion wine, saw how many of the wafers we could stuff into our mouths, and listened to so much music. i introduced him to so much new shit. he took a liking to all time low and fall out boy. i smiled like an idiot when he called pete wentz a visionary - he's not wrong.
as for being an upstanding citizen, i was helping henry and annie hunt down the pesky kids who were smoking in the basement, drinking the communion wine and eating the wafers. so far, no luck, but we remained hopeful.
"i know you gotta be at this thing tomorrow night," jesse was saying, whisps of dark hair hanging in his face, "but can't you, like, slip away early or something? it's halloween. shitty horror movies are a tradition, and you have a decent stash. i can score us some real booze and popcorn. come on?"
his eyes were soft on mine. listen, i'm a mischievous little fuck, but he could probably get me killed and i'd thank him.
"okay, okay," i relented, "but then we're locking ourselves in my room for once. i'm fucking up my back, sleeping in the basement."
"deal." his smile drowned out the whole world.
we parted ways, him going wherever he goes and me headed to henry's office for an afternoon lesson on the baptism registry. annie brought us both tea and sandwiches while we worked, smoothing down my collar as she left, the way my mom used to. i repressed the urge to shrink away from her touch, which is another side-effect of exposure to my mother. i made a mental note to set this shirt on fire later, though.
"so, how are you finding our little town? most who come through here describe it as "quaint and charming"," henry says, giving me his righteous-heavenly-fire smile.
"yeah," i nodded. "definitely quaint. i'm settling in okay. it's not chicago."
henry steepled his fingers, staring momentarily out the window. "it most certainly is not. cities are such cesspools of sin, don't you think?"
he pinned me with an expectant look, then. i mean, he wasn't wrong, but i doubt our definitions of 'sin' aligned quite as perfectly as he imagined.
i nodded again, looking thoughtful.
"oh, you wouldn't possibly have seen your pierced-perpetrator again, would you?" his tone was off-hand, but the question most definitely was not.
"neither hide nor hair."
now, it was his turn to nod, but his eyes were far too unfocused, thoughtful, for me not to be suspicious. i made another mental note to talk to jesse about this later.
as my luck would have it, the thing i had to be at that night went an hour overtime, and then i was expected to supervise the halloween festivities for the kids. there was a haunted house, a spooky hay ride, an apple-bobbing station and a drawing contest. kids could have their faces painted and eat enough candy to make them hurl over the side of the tractor. i jacked some caramel corn for my and jesse's movie (non-)date later, wishing he had a phone i could text him on. i hoped he'd be cool with waiting around a while. somehow, i doubted he had somewhere to be.
i was following the gaggle of eight mayhue kids into the haunted house, when suddenly i was yanked into pure darkness by a strong hand. two strong hands pressed me up against a wall and a pair of ridiculously soft lips found mine. my hands automatically moved up to knot themselves in his long, silky hair, and also pull him closer to deepen the kiss. his mouth was like fire on mine, sending sparks into my extremities. these sparks ignited when he pulled my shirt out of my pants and his hands went on a fact-finding mission across every inch of skin they could reach. we made out deliriously for what felt like at least an hour before i had to come up for air.
"jesse," i gasped.
"expecting someone else?" he smiled against me.
"how did you find me?" i wanted to know, smiling, too.
"i asked some old bat if she'd seen the hot new minister anywhere. she giggled and pointed at the haunted house. i got tired of waiting naked in your room."
my knees almost gave out at the thought of jesse naked, but the wall behind me kept me upright. his hands came to rest on my belt, his thumbs tucking into the waistband of my dress pants. i pulled him in for another kiss and he came willingly.
as we hid there, getting each other hot, we heard henry calling around, trying to find me. jesse chuckled quietly and then pulled me along with him, deeper into the blackness.
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libidomechanica · a month ago
Into youre leves growe
Into youre leves  growe? The leaded, frost  to your neer second  I fearfully she a  maid, and soldier stayed; knelt  only hedgd of blood and  what anyhow our  lines was but learn  if I bear and blood of  our arm in  the mother should yet in  the earth, with  them, I saugh he be  wedded lips, and some 
hall— jenny heauens scornd by on  the lengthened  by thee what a baby  love, the sea. That tread  left to treacher; while 
I where and lose in  sigh, another, he than I 
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win; while within us, 
would I in drift of 
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me, miracles. I wish our  luxury, the  aisles of lies the  broadcast worth an offering 
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half force untuned gorged he  clung. Hope, I wolde leyser answer:  There slacks, and sallowed wither  from rightens evermore.
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