#'oh horses are the worst animal i hate them so much they deserve to die'

[toomuchponytail]

Hello, big fan!! Could you do something friendly-fire flavored? >:3 Thank you!! Keep writing, you beautiful unicorn!!!

Hey Anon! (sorry I’m late! sorry this took so long, I am an excuse of a human! ) First of all, thank you, but I am barely a horse–let alone a unicorn. (Also: “NO YOU!! ;) )  But thank you so much for this prompt! It’s such a good one that I had trouble choosing the setting, so many possibilities! So if you don’t favor this one I totally understand and can offer others of unfortunately similar quality…

But oh my goodness, thank you again! I honestly don’t deserve you, and I will prove it with the exorbitant amount of garbage I have spewed forth. 

I hope you have a day like a ginger bread cookie, sweet with just a hint of spice and bitterness that makes the sweet that much more enjoyable. I hope today is full of zest–both orange and otherwise, may you take small treats as they are offered, and use the good to weather the bad. 

Love a goblin who doesn’t own a calendar. 

“He could have killed you,” Sidekick breathes, they are tired and mournful in the cold morning light, they hand hero their mask, rust colored stains and all, they can’t bear to look at it, they make a point of looking out the window as hero takes it from them, their warm hand brushing sidekick’s ice cold one. 

“But he didn’t,” Hero grinned, they took hold of sidekick’s trembling fingers and don’t let go until sidekick looked back at them again, they don’t look as bad as sidekick was expecting them to after last night, after the building had collapsed with them inside. They were still bruised and pale, their left arm in a sling, the medic had said that three of their ribs were broken–they’d also told hero to stay in bed, but here they were coffee in hand asking sidekick where their mask had gone in the scramble to save them. 

“I’ll kill them,” Sidekick murmured, going back to looking out the window again, the sky blushed a soft golden peach color that melted into violet at the edges, the sun would be above the ridge in a few minutes, starting a day sidekick wasn’t ready for, not this time. 

“Sidekick,” hero started, wincing as he twisted a little too far, the pang of sympathy the sidekick felt only solidified in their mind what they had to do, for the city, for hero, so that they could sleep at night again even if it was in a prison cell. 

“I know that you don’t want to talk too much about your time as Villain’s sidekick, and I respect that choice, but like I said when we agreed to be partners,” hero took a sip of their coffee, “We do things differently than them, I don’t expect–or even allow you to kill, it’s too final, everyone deserves a chance at redemption, maybe even multiple chances.” 

Normally sidekick would try to take hero’s words to heart, they were still learning how to be a good person after so many years with Villain, but today the words just grated on their panic frayed nerves, “And when do those chances run out hero?” They hear themselves ask, hero looks up in surprise at their biting tone, “When the city is in rubble around their feet? When they’ve killed enough innocents to warrant the death penalty? When you’re dead?!” Sidekick’s voice broke at the end of their sentence, they stuttered and apology and left the kitchen, their throat burning with every venom fueled question they’d asked. Those were Villain’s morals, passing judgement on others, kill or be killed, and it filled sidekick with rage to realize that they were still carrying Villain’s ideology around with them like a demon on their shoulder. 

After a few hours blowing off steam by training alone in the basement of the base, sidekick’s mind was made up, sure it wasn’t hero’s way, but they had to do something. They had to be rid of Villain once and for all, it didn’t matter what came after, knowing hero was safe–would never look so frail and helpless as they had last night again–was enough peace of mind for sidekick. 

If they had to live by Villain’s rules then that sorry excuse for a life would die because of them. 

Sidekick carefully concealed a pistol the next time they were called out on a mission, the worst part was lying to hero, smiling at them and forcing themselves to be normal with hero sitting across from them feeling the cold barrel of the gun against their leg was maybe the worst sort of betrayal they felt like they’d ever committed. And they were on their way to murder their old friend and former partner. 

The battle started out innocently enough, Villain had been spotted out in the densely forested oak grove, it was a big place, long suspected of concealing Villain’s home base. The Villain had stayed concealed in the dark, thick mist rising as the sun went down. Sidekick felt nearly sick waiting for their chance to kill them, it had to be times just right or hero would stop them–and they couldn’t allow that to happen. 

Hours into their mission, Villain had run them raggedly through the forest, seeming to vanish into mist every time they got close to catching them, three times Sidekick had pulled their gun free in the darkness, and three times they’d had to hastily conceal it again as Villain slipped away. Hero was lagging now, their gasping breaths making clouds of steam in the cooling air, their hair was stuck to their head with sweat. 

“They’re just running us!” Hero exclaimed, unconsciously holding the side with the broken ribs, “At this point I’m thinking about calling it,” Hero chuckled easily, but Sidekick glanced at them, their whole body radiating nervous energy,  they couldn’t go back without achieving their secret goal, the stress of the decision had already eaten away all of their sleep, they had gone beyond twitchy and on edge, their nerves were shot with the waiting, they couldn’t possibly wait another day to ensure hero’s safety. 

They just couldn’t take it. 

“I’ll go on,” they said finally, putting what they hoped was a reassuring hand on hero’s shoulder, “I don’t want this bastard to think that they tired us out.” 

“Even if it’s true?”  Humor glinting in their tired eyes, sidekick wanted to strangle medic for allowing hero back onto the field so soon after their near-death experience, but they also knew that they really couldn’t blame them, the hero would be out here no matter what the medic said. 

“I’ll go,” Sidekick repeated, “I’ll go and get them,” If Sidekick gave away any of the odd hollowness they felt eating away at them hero didn’t seem to notice. 

They just nodded, still breathing hard, “Just be careful okay?” 

Sidekick has the decency to nod at hero’s concern, feeling a wave of fondness wash over them for hero, they hadn’t had to accept them after their work with Villain, they could have locked them up and thrown away the key and no one would have blamed them–least of all sidekick–but they didn’t, they’d seen the want to try in them, the wish to be something better than a killer. And instead of judging them they’d accepted them, gently, patiently, not rushing sidekick to grow all at once. 

That alone warranted repayment, call it retribution, call it love, call it duty or penance, Sidekick was just ready to get it over with. 

They were thinking all of these things as they trudged into the darkness, gun in hand as soon as hero was out of sight, ready to finally protect hero in the only way that hero couldn’t protect themselves. 

Villain evaded them a few more times, clueless to sidekick’s plan themselves, they couldn’t see the gun clenched in Sidekick’s hands in the dark. Speaking of the dark, now that they were alone Sidekick felt the darkness closing in, it felt like a creature crouched at their feet, they couldn’t quite shake the feeling that the darkness was on Villain’s side. 

Finally after what felt like hours they saw the silhouette of a figure crouched in the grass, moving carefully along the underbrush–Villain! They readied their gun, taking a half breath to try and stop their hand from shaking so badly–they’d done this before, but not recently, and they were now very aware of what they were about to do–kill a man. 

But in one shot they’d be free, and hero would be safe, it didn’t really matter what happened after that. 

88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

Villain thought they’d finally lost their former sidekick in the woods when they heard an anguished cry split the night. It was so raw that for a moment Villain thought it was an animal, they froze to listen, tilting their head to the side slightly in the dark. The sound came again, realizing it was human sent a cold chill down Villain’s spine. 

Villain went towards the sound without really making a decision to, they got close when they recognized the voice as Sidekick’s, screaming and sobbing like their limbs were being ripped off. Villain felt a wave of fear prickle beneath their skin, Sidekick never cried, when they got to the tiny clearing where Sidekick was what they saw there made them feel like someone had let all of the air out of their lungs unannounced. 

Sidekick’s hands and arms were covered in blood as they leaned over hero, they were trying to stop the bleeding from the wound in hero’s side, but to Villain it already looked too late, hero was far too pale, and completely limp, unresponsive, their blood was still seeping between sidekick’s frantic fingers.

“No!” Sidekick howled, “Please god, no!” They were shaking badly, Villain could see the gun just out of reach to their left, “I’m sorry!” They sobbed desperately down at hero, “I’m so sorry, I just–I didn’t want–oh please no!” 

“What did you do?” Villain asked, not completely able to keep the horror out of their voice, sidekick didn’t hear them come up behind them, they looked up their face a mess of tears and instantly their open grieving expression hardened to one of hate. 

“This was supposed to be you!” they growled, “I–I tried!” But their heaving sobs cut them off as they decided to ignore Villain and keep putting pressure on hero’s wounds. 

It was a losing battle, both Villain and sidekick knew it. 

Villain took a measured breath, they didn’t mind killing people who stood against them, or those who put them in a corner, murder to eliminate or lower damages was of no regard to them, but this was hero, the goody two-shoes who’d saved their own worthless life more times than they could count. 

This wasn’t heroics, this was simply repaying part of a giant debt. 

“Come on, bring them, follow me,” Villain commanded their old sidekick, their voice full of bitter pity. 

Sidekick decided then that saving hero wasn’t going to be possible, they let their hands drop from hero’s wound, the wound that they’d inflicted, their grief turning to acid in their throat, they scrambled for the gun, but Villain was faster than them, kicking the pistol away and after a brief scuffle pinning sidekick to the ground. 

“Listen!” Villain hissed, “I can save them! But I need your help to get them to my base, if you still want to kill me after, then we can arrange something!” 

Sidekick looked up at them in confusion, Villain noted that a thumbprint of hero’s blood had somehow gotten on their cheek. Sick, Villain felt sick, they could almost feel the violent agony of Sidekick’s emotions swirling inside of them when they looked their once friend now prospective murderer in the eyes. 

“But I can’t do both die and save them, so make your decision!” They released sidekick and stood up, brushing dried pine needles from their jacket. 

Sidekick didn’t say anything, but they knew that they were losing time with every second that it took them to deliberate, so they chose hero, there hadn’t really ever been another choice, between them and Villain they carried the limp hero through the forest. By the time they reached Villain’s base sidekick’s mind had melted numb, they focused on putting one foot in front of the other, then holding hero alone while Villain opened the door. 

Sidekick didn’t even have any thoughts about walking willingly back into the home base of a person they’d sworn to kill, they thought absently if they were going into shock, Villain must have thought so too, as soon as hero was laid on the long silver table and Villain’s people were scrambling to get the medic and the equipment they’d requested Villain handed Sidekick a large blanket and told them to sit on the couch in the corner. 

Villain looked at sidekick’s wide hollow eyes, “I’ll get you when they’re stable,” they stated briskly, steering Sidekick away from the action. 

Sidekick surprised them with a high frantic bray of laughter, “I’ll get them!” They choked out, “That’s the last thing I said to hero before I shot them! Oh my god I’ll get them!” 

Villain wasn’t sure what to do as sidekick crept over to the couch and sat down laughing hysterically all the way, even as tears streamed down their face. Villain didn’t think that they were ever going to forget this, no matter how badly they wanted to,  Sidekick had always been so stoic, seeing something that needed to be done and doing it, no questions asked, that was what had made them such a valuable asset.Seeing them like this shook Villain to the core, but Villain had to get back to hero, they stood there for a long second, watching Sidekick come apart completely right in front of them. 

“I’ll get them!” Sidekick howled, and Villain was no longer sure if they were laughing or crying, only that they were broken completely. 

#HERO X VILLAIN #whump #Friendly fire #tw gun #shot #emotional whump #frantic #Sorry #Sorry it's so long! #Why can't I stop when I'm ahead? #ask answered #love you!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #231

too lazy to even think of song lyrics to put, just have this

Do bridges make you nervous? Somewhat. Are there any movies that you find so dumb, you find funny? Aha, Napoleon Dynamite. Do you have any older siblings? Four + one I don't know. How often do you vacation? Pretty much never. Are you currently having any cellular problems? My phone is ACTUAL horse shit. Have you ever tried to meet up with someone from online? With Sara, multiple times now. :') It'd be fantastic if when I go to South Africa I can meet Shaylee when I visit to the KMP, and my other friend Alyssa knows how badly I wanna meet Mark, so she insists on me going with her one day if he ever goes back to PAX East. I'd love to meet Connie, too. If you could have any car right now, what would you want exactly? Eh, I don't know car types. Something medium/smallish (I don't want very small for safety reasons) that's either burnt orange or red and just pretty and sleek. Do you think it’s cruel to leave a live fish to die in an ice box? Um???????? YEAH????????????????? Have you ever done anything sexual with someone of the same sex? Yeah. Do you collect issues of a certain magazine? No. Have you ever pawned anything off at a pawn shop? Nah. Do you have stomach abs? Ha, I wish. Do you know anyone who is trying to physically impersonate a celebrity? No, but oh my god, so my friend Leon, right? He looks UNCANNILY like Leon Kennedy (WEIRD name coincidence????) from the Resident Evil series so much that he dressed as him one day. The resemblance is fucking unbelievable, especially when his hair was longer in the front. Do you have the Bakery Story app? Haven't heard of it. Do you watch Sister Wives? Haven't heard of that, either. How do you feel about polygamy? It's definitely not for me, but if it's KNOWINGLY between a consenting, happy group of people, you do you, man. Just hardcore practice safe sex. Have you ever seen a shuttle launch? No. What would your parents say is the worst thing you’ve ever done? I haven't got a clue. I'd assume Mom would probably say me texting her "fuck you" even though she deserved it. Dad, probably the letter I wrote him after the divorce. Are we having signs of the apocalypse? I don't even remember the Biblical signs besides like, swarms of locusts and humanity's focus shifting to materialism. I say rather we're having actually scientific signs of a mass extinction coming in the next few centuries, probably, or sooner. Historically, we're extremely overdue for one, anyway. Global warming, the ozone, overpopulation, pollution... you know, all that jazz. We're killing the earth. Would you rather see The Blue Man Group or Fear Factor live? Blue Man Group. Do you have any vintage clothing? Man, I wish. Are you glad to accept any certain person’s hand-me-downs? "As long as it fits and it’s like, clean, I guess?" <<<< This. Have you ever bought anything at Rue 21? Yeah, I like that store. The graphic tees section, at least. What color of colored contacts would you like to have? Like, purple or something. NO, cyan. Gimme a Manson feel. What’s on your bed? Me, Teddy, Roman, my laptop and mouse, my pillows, sheets, blanket, phone... Your floor besides furniture? My bookbag and purse. Wires. Shoes. Your dresser? My meerkat collection, along with some other plushies. The top shelf in your closet? I have no clue. Are there any dead stuffed animals in your house? Uh, you mean taxidermy? No. I am viciously against hunting "trophies." HOWEVER, I'm deeply into vulture culture and have mixed feelings about making art of NATURALLY deceased wildlife... A part of me says that's disrespectful, and then the other says it's very honoring and respectful, to immortalize an animal's beauty as art after experiencing a good life. It's something I semi-want to get into, but again, I'm torn on my thoughts about it. Do you know anyone who goes fishing, but doesn’t like fish? Do you mean like, eating fish? I'll fish with Dad if he invites me (I otherwise stopped as I don't support it if not necessary for food, but this has always been my and Dad's "thing"), but I hate fish as food. If you mean they don't enjoy fish as animals, I don't think so. What’s the best prize you’ve won on an amusement park/carnival game? I don't have a clue. Have you ever done anything sexual in a school? No, besides simple kisses. Have you ever been indoor skydiving? No. Would you have any interest in going on a cruise? No. Being out in the ocean scares me. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. How old was the oldest person you’ve dated? Maybe like, five years older. Do you know anyone who has their own podcast? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How many children do you want, and how did you decide on this number? None. I decided because 1.) I would be a terrible mother, 2.) I'm not putting anyone's well-being above my own ever again, 3.) I'm not dedicating the remainder of my life trying to raise someone who might end up not even caring about me, and 4.) they're fuckin expensive and I've been poor my whole life and will do almost anything to keep my bills and expenses in general as low as possible. Where did your last kiss take place? The airport. Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? Oh, definitely. I loved reading. ^ What were some of your favorite books? Little-little kid books included Stellaluna, What Makes a Rainbow?, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Rainbow Fish, 10 Minutes 'Til Bedtime... a lot. As like an elementary student, I was really into the Magic Tree House and Hank the Cowdog series. Then in middle school, Warriors dominated my bookshelf. Are you more of a visual learner or an auditory learner? Visual. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Do you prefer Google Maps, Apple Maps, Waze, or something else? I've never used any. What is your favorite coffee brand? N/A What is your favorite tea brand? N/A Have you ever worn false eyelashes? No. I probably only will for maybe my wedding. How old does someone have to be for you to see them as an adult? 21 I guess. Do you ever ‘manspread’ when you sit down? Uh. I actually don't know. I don't pay attention. Which of your good habits has made the biggest positive difference in your life? Coming to understand I have to put myself first, probably. Or learning how to talk to myself gently. Have you ever dated someone who was very lazy? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. I always quit too early for that, really. Do you overuse smileys? I don't think so. At least not anywhere near how I did as a pre-teen in the "LOL rANdoM!!!!!! XD" phase. Who is better; Madonna or Blondie? Idk. Who is better; Elton John or Billy Joel? BILLY!!!!!!! Name three website you visit every day: YouTube, Kalahari Manor, and deviantART. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? Tyler and I watched the first one. I don't remember what I thought about it, really. Have you ever worn black eyeliner? "Yeah. That’s the only kind I wear." <<<< This. Have you ever worn blue mascara? No. That'd look weird on me. Hm, or maybe not. Maybe it'd bring out my blue eyes. Ever spiked your hair? No. How long have you had a computer? I don't have a clue. Have you ever written something, and published it on the internet? Well yeah? When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) Hell, forever ago when I was at Colleen's with Girt and we played CAH. Can you play chess? Nope. When was the last time you read a book over 700 pages long? Shit man, no clue. I don't know if I ever have. Have you ever drank cherry Coke? GOOD STUFF Do you prefer using pens or pencils? Pencils, considering you can erase. I avoid using pens if I can. Have you ever skipped for a long distance? Maybe as a little kid? Are you excited for the holidays? Halloween was disappointing, as I did absolutely zip. I honestly don't care about Thanksgiving. We always just go have dinner with Ashley's bigot in-laws. I'm VERY hyped for Christmas 'cuz I'm probably gonna be with Sara!! Can you play any instruments? I played the flute for years, but I don't think I could remember how to now. Are you a Facebook addict? Nah. Are you afraid of stink bugs? YEAH. I hate beetle-like insects. Do you have a printer? Yeah. Does anyone own any embarrassing pictures of you? HAHAHAHA I HOPE SHE DOESN'T STILL HAVE IT, MY FRIEND ONCE TOOK A PICTURE OF ME IN THE MIDDLE OF EATING A HOT DOG AND I JUST REALLY HATE IT. Do you still live at home? Yeah. Are you currently enrolled in college? Yep. Do you care what others say about you? Way too much. Have you ever played Farmville? No. What is your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. What song represents your life the best? "Get Up" by Mother Mother makes me think of myself A LOT. Are you into anime? Yeah. Name one movie that has made you cry more than once. The Notebook. Always. Do you watch the Disney Channel? Not anymore. Do you swear? Way too much. Do you overthink things? You wouldn't BELIEVE how much I do. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A fuckin ginormous black lab until Ashley moved out. He wasn't even full-grown. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? As a kid, I was running on the gravel road and slipped and fell. I scraped my knees to the point of pus coming out. It took a loooong time to heal. I cried SO fucking loudly. Bad, bad memory made only worse because Dad got so annoyed by it that he yelled at me to shut up. Happy beyond words he changed so much after the divorce and stopped drinking. What is something you like to have conversations about? MARK and other YouTubers I love to an unreasonable height, meerkats, vidya games I enjoy, RP, bands I love... What all is in the trunk of your car? I don't have a clue. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? EW no. I hate that shit. How do you usually celebrate your favorite holiday? By doing nothing, lately. I don't have anywhere to go, so no point in even dressing up. Plus I can't afford costumes. When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck? Uh. I have zero clue. Have you ever eaten/drank something and then realized it was past the expiration date? Probably at some point. Do you own any jewelry containing your birthstone? I have an amethyst angel pin from my grandmother. When I was in high school and going through my most suicidal phases, I wore it on my shirt underneath my hoodies. What is something unusual that annoys you? Hm. Well, I think this resonates with a lot of people at least to a mild degree, but it really angers me when people don't put their shopping carts back and just sit them in/by a parking spot. Fucking lazy as hell. Does mind over matter work for you? Rarely. What was the last thing you were invited to? No clue. Well, besides the obvious things like my niece and nephew's b-day parties, I don't know. What item should never be shared? Stealing the last person's answer: your toothbrush. What do you usually order at Taco Bell? A cheese quesadilla and fiesta potatoes. Sometimes the cinnamon delight things instead of the potatoes. Have you ever sat all the way through Gone With the Wind? No. Does drinking alcohol make you act more like your true self? I don't know if it's my "true" self, but I'm more extroverted and calmer. Have you ever googled a name and found somebody? Uhhhh so this is probably so incredibly creepy, but I jumped through hoops finding Jason's landline a few days before my suicide attempt because I was absolutely desperate to talk to him. It was in the dead of night and his sweetheart mom picked up and spoke with me for like two whole hours trying to calm me down. Jason was asleep, apparently. I miss that woman. She was so patient and gentle that night. Okay I'm honestly getting pretty emotional recalling that night so MOVING ON. What is your favorite possession? My iPod, really. I've had it since middle school and has 1k+ songs on it that I, like an idiot, am too lazy to back up... soooo when it dies, which it's WAY overdue to do, I will probably tear the world in two. What makes you feel like you are young again? Laughing hysterically. Especially when I do this little squeaking sound. Girt pointed it out all the time and since then I've actually paid attention to it and it's fuckin cute tbh. Are you picky? You. Don't. Even. KNOW. You have one wish, what would it be? World peace. How tall is the person you like? Shorter or taller? She's just like two inches shorter at 5'2''. How tall was the tallest person you’ve dated? Fucking hell, Girt was AT LEAST 6', I'm sure taller. I only reached his chest. How many foreign friends do you have? Oh boy, plenty. Well, I'd say most are acquaintances, but still. I've been on the Internet too long. In which countries do they live? European countries and Australia are the ones I know off the top of my head. What was your dream birthday party as a kid? Hmmm, probably going skating with my friends. What’s the most interesting story you’ve never told anybody? I don't know. What’s the most complicated meal you’ve cooked? Nothing. Have you ever come up with your own game? As kids, my sisters and I did a lot. What is something you value a lot in your life? Having a home, food to eat, a family that loves me... the basics that unfortunately many people don't have. Whose hand did you hold last? Sara's. What was the last thing you planted? Habanero peppers, I think. What or who was the last thing you gossiped about? *shrugs* When's the last time you helped a senior citizen somehow? Probably by holding doors open? What's the most selfless act you have done? Probably compromising my mental health to help others. I dunno. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? wtf no get out of mah swamp Are you clumsy? If so, how? I'm a newborn deer ffs. I bump into and trip over shit every day. How many Lidls are there in your town? None. I think. I think the closest is in the next town over. How do you like your favorite beverage? Cold and freshly opened 'cuz carbonation. Are you going to any concerts this summer? Ozzy Osbourne is very likely and I am NOT over it even though that was decided forever ago. Have you ever been to a concert? Once. What do you do when you can’t escape thoughts of your ex? I have PTSD from that relationship, getting away from those thoughts isn't a thing until my brain decides it's over it. Like I mainly just look for a distraction, but honestly, the only thing that seems to be truly effective is time or sleep. Do you watch any TV shows where the setting’s a hospital? I enjoy The Good Doctor, but I've talked about my disinterest in TV plenty. Did your first real significant other change you at all? HI HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE BREAKUP??????????????? Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? Nah, not anymore. I broke that "promise" anyway through total cheat methods or whatever you want to call them, but I'm ultimately glad I thought I was obeying abstinence through that time considering honestly with how serious we were and how impulsive I was, I genuinely wonder if I would've wound up pregnant. Let's NOT IMAGINE THAT ROUTE. How many schools have you been to? Six. What’s your favorite color to wear? Black. Isn’t it lovely when your S/O smells good? I mean yeah, would anyone answer "no"???? Who’s your favorite actor? Mark is an official actor now don't even fuckin try me about this Who can make you laugh no matter what? *points up* + Sara and Game Grumps. Has a movie ever made you cry? Which one(s)? The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, Titanic, Old Yeller, The Lion King, Coco, Finding Dory, Johnny Got His Gun... man, a lot. I'm a baby when it comes to movies. Do you keep a list of movies you want to watch so you don't forget? No. What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? It was one of Highly Suspect's new songs. I think it was called "Snow White." What do you prefer -- the original fairy tales, or the Disney versions? Disney. Would you like more film adaptations of traditional fairy tales? Yeah, I enjoy them. Are there any comic books you'd like to see made into a movie? I don't read 'em. Are there any comic book movies you wish had been better? ^ Have you watched the Good Omens series yet? Thoughts? No. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Yrel from World of Warcraft is a fucking badass that needs to come back, I love Heather Mason from Silent Hill 3 with her being a realistic, relatable, and headstrong female protagonist that takes no shit, Bayonetta is my Mommy like have you seen that girl work (she served as some of my first evidence I wasn't straight, actually), I love Cynder from The Legend of Spyro saga with her personality overall and story... there's a lot I love. OH! Ellie from The Last of Us is impossible to not mention. It's beyond debate she's one of the toughest females in video game history, and it was interesting to watch her grow up in a post-apocalyptic world where horrors and tragedy were so normal. Something you didn't like that happened in one of your fave shows/books? GINGA DENSETSU WEED SPOILER: I will forever be livid Jerome died sobs I loved him more than I love myself. THE OUTSIDERS SPOILER: Dally's death devastated me. A character (in anything) you wish hadn't been killed off? Vol'jin's death in WoW was fucking stupid and entirely anticlimactic. Make the guy warchief & then Blizz doesn't know what to do with him and lets trash kill him, such shit writing, look guys I'm fuckin tilted about- What was the last video you saw that made you smile? Oh my god, I watched a clip of Shane Dawson at the Mall of America with Jeffree today, and he was physically in a state of shock, entirely speechless, and in tears. My lips were about to split my face in half smiling and almost crying. He deserves all he's getting right now beyond words. What's something exciting that's happened recently? A Heist With Markiplier was the best thing that ever happened to me ok. What about something upsetting? My grandma going downhill so fast. Cancer cells are now clearly visible in her blood. Do you have any calluses on your feet? So possibly TMI so look away, but I used to walk SO MUCH that my feet, especially my big toes, have the thickest calluses you could probably imagine. They bother me so much that I want to see whatever kind of doctor that can get rid of the damn things. Nothing I've ever done has helped get rid of them. I've CUT areas off in hopes of them going away, but it always heals BACK into a callus???? What was your last big purchase? Teddy's vet visit. Have you ever eaten grits? Grits are disgusting. What is the name of your YouTube channel, if you have one? 0zzkat. Do you wear the same shirt and shorts multiple times before washing? It depends on how long I wore the shirt and if I sweat. You'd never see me in shorts. What color is your favorite lip gloss? I don't use gloss. How many different states have you lived in? Just one. Are you allergic to bees? No. What color is the rim around your bedroom mirror (if applicable)? Black. What is your favorite flavor of saltwater toffee? I don't know if I've ever tried that. Have you ever vacationed on an island? No. What does your favorite bikini look like? Remember how I said you wouldn't see me in shorts? That goes even more for bikinis. What flavor was the last slushee you had? Strawberry limeade.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

[thegeminisage]

i’m gonna liveblog my rewatch of 2.08 because i can

it’s stupid long so here’s the cut

just to give you an idea of how fast this switch flipped for me at the start of this episode when uther is like “u will find no one who embodies nobleness better than my son arthur” i went “PFFFFFT” & had a good chortle

i have a lot to say about this duel challenge sequence. 1. why are strangers always coming in and tossing their glove on the floor. everyone in that room is armed. just take them out! 2. arthur picks up the glove first this time, unlike 1.03. guess he can learn after all 3. he does it BEFORE SEEING HER FACE god classic he’s so fucking stupid

everyone getting their panties in a twist over having to fight a WOMAN when in reality she goes on to kick his ass is like...both tiresome & hilarious

i used to really be on the fence about the Vibe between merlin & arthur because while they seemed quite happy to die for one another from the get-go most of the time arthur is just being MEAN and merlin isn’t as mean back and it’s like :/ ok i don’t get what everyone else is so heart-eyes over. but in 2.08 they do a lot of confiding in one another and just general talking about plot-stuff where arthur’s insults are...not absent, but kept to a minimum, and idk it’s nice! it’s nice. less like arthur is a massive bully and more like they’re Companions. i’m not hopeful about it lasting bc this show doesn’t know the meaning of the words “consist continuity” but it was reeeeeaally good here

arthur’s face when he lost to a G I R L and uther just walked out with no comment. even back when i still hated him i was like “ouch”

that being said it was a welcome change of pace to see merlin giving ARTHUR shit for once. finally

upon morgause and morgana’s first meeting when morgause says “i hope you will remember me fondly” i went “WOW THAT’S GAY” because i didn’t KNOW and cathy told me later she had to put her head in her hands for five whole minutes. don’t shoot me i’m just the messenger they’re the ones who wrote it that way

my favorite thing about morgause is that i couldn’t immediately figure her out. i’m in the habit of throwing out guesses about future plot points for fun, because i’m a writer and that’s how i deconstruct things, and since this show was kind of meant to be kid-friendly i’m usually right. but as far as morgause went...i didn’t have a clue. i had NO IDEA this whole ep would be like this

i’ve said this before (not on this blog tho) but arthur is like...really eager to die. i keep joking that he has a death wish but upon further reflection i don’t think he’s actively seeking to end his life as much as he would be relieved to die for something noble like honor or whatever because then he would have...done it right, if that makes any sense, and wouldn’t have to worry about screwing it up anymore. he doesn’t want to die but he craves a good death. to prove to his dad and himself that he’s made of the right stuff?? i’m not being very clear. this concept requires more thought

it’s REALLY a lot for me that uther would rather throw arthur in his own chambers than have him find out about ygraine. yyyyikes

merlin sneaking in that rope was so cute. he finally got the group’s communal braincell for a few minutes

on the other hand after the troll episodes i am SO tired of dung being played for laughs. i really suffered

also man i’m so glad morgana finally got some sleep it’s what she deserves

this Dead Parent talk really mcmurdered me. both merlin and arthur lost a parent when they were very young & they now cannot remember said parent and we HAVE THAT IN COMMON so every single word they said was like an arrow straight to my heart!!!!!!! like as good as the ending to this episode was (and OH it was good OHHHHH it was GOOD) i think this right here is what truly softened me up towards arthur. this is relatability, this is emotional vulnerability, this is a genuine human connection made between EQUALS and frankly it’s exactly what i’ve been wanting from these guys for a season and a half. their willingness to die for each other is good stuff to be sure but it’s EMPTY without some meat to back it up & we’re finally getting what we deserve

“i’d do anything for even the vaguest memory” like they didn’t have to go that hard & read me for filth like that but they did. they did. arthur. babe. my guy.

almost every time someone comes in to speak with uther he’s eating and he has like an entire mini-banquet in front of him even though he’s all by himself. like, an entire plate of grapes, a whole-ass chicken, an intact loaf of bread, a bowl FILLED with whole uncut apples...wtf??

“what would YOU know about magic, merlin?” “nothing ;)” i did have a good chortle truly

i’ve already made my points about arthur and a good death but MAN he was hasty to put his head on that chopping block for no good fucking reason at all. holy shit. him casually doing that swing-thing he does with his sword to the axe ahead of time really adds a lot to this entire thing and also aged me ten years

when arthur was like “what if my father’s attitude towards magic is wrong” and “surely not everyone who practices magic can be evil” i gasped so fucking loud. so fucking loud

and the worst part is you can practically feel merlin’s heartbeat pick up. just LOOK at his “wtf am i hearing is this for real could my dreams actually come true” face. but at the same time, he’s got to be the one with a healthy suspicion here because arthur is in over his head. so he STILL can’t trust it. and then naturally it goes to hell so quickly that the chance for merlin to confide in arthur is lost. i can’t believe this took 4 irl years and five seasons. watching this live must have been like TORTURE. i’m practically bingeing it and i’m still suffering deeply

it’s very odd to me that arthur specifically said his mother died before he opened his eyes but the first thing ygraine says to him is that she remembers him staring up at her. to me that’s an obvious clue that she’s a fake, and the cutaway during that line to merlin’s face tells me he had the same suspicion (and that he’s kind of horrified by it)

ARTHUR FEELS SO GUILTY FOR HER DYING AND I’M ALSO DYING AND SLDFKMGHLSKDFJH

i know for a fact that ygraine’s telling of these events is slightly altered from the truth too...there’s no way that uther would have been so overcome with grief that he went on to commit genocide if he knew beforehand that his wife would die and was willing to sacrifice her

on the other hand, there’s also a cutaway to morgause’s face during this speech in which she looks surprised or confused at what ygraine says, which doesn’t add up if she was pulling these strings, so...What Is The Truth

not to be like this but merlin bearing witness to this whole series of events is like...there’s some things that once you go through them with somebody things between you change and there’s a new intimacy there...i don’t expect much from a show that likes to return to the status quo but in my heart it’s how i feel

OH BOY HERE WE GO. arthur arrives in camelot and pulls his sword out as soon as he leaves his horse leaving a visibly spooked merlin behind him this is the STUFF

“arthur was born of magic” is really a hell of a line because even though i already knew this backstory i hadn’t stopped to consider it like that...no, magic is not a crucial part of arthur’s identity and how he views himself the way it is for merlin and morgana, but it’s still a part of his history and what made him who he is, that made him alive and different from other people. his hatred and fear of it becomes so much more tragic in that light. i think also there was such a clear line drown before between people who are magic and people who are not and for me, mentally, arthur kind of...swapped sides, or is at least straddling the border

merlin’s absolute FURY at uther’s hypocrisy is like...........fucking. another thing i wanted to see for a season and a half. imo there’s not nearly enough meat to the fact that merlin is magic and ultimately serves uther who is trying to decimate him and his kind - has actually SAVED UTHER'S LIFE on MULTIPLE occasions. this is the first time this show actually went “hey uther is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people and that’s really not at all ok” and i am SO into it. like, no, he’s not misguided. he’s not “just grieving.” he’s a murderer. he’s responsible for genocide.

the final 9 minutes of this episode feature arthur pendragon being absolutely FURIOUS. he’s LIVID. he’s PISSED. and i love it more than anything else this show has done so far

i genuinely, truly believed he didn’t have this in him. never in my WILDEST DREAMS could i have imagined arthur doing this. i had written it off as the stuff of fanfics. but holy shit my man snapped

HE👏DID👏THAT👏

reasons i did not see this coming at all even a little: 1. i figured there was no way arthur would get over his anti-magic thing until near the end (i know it must come back later, but STILL) 2. i did not believe for one second he could ever seriously stand up to his father for more than a few minutes at a time 3. most of what’s making arthur so goddamn pissed is that he thinks his dad killed his mom on purpose but he’s also showing a fair amount of horror at the fact that uther hunted down and killed everyone even remotely associated with sorcery like animals. do you know what that is? does anybody else understand the enormity of this? HE IS SHOWING EMPATHY. i DID NOT believe he was capable of it.

i do feel a way about how uther started this scene from a place of cool confidence - he was handing out orders, “leave us and no one comes in,” manipulating the situation, “she was lying to you, magic users are trying to destroy us,” and finally trying to close the door on the topic and reassert control, “i am your kind and your father and you will SHOW ME SOME RESPECT” - and arthur was not only having none of it (the way his eyes narrowed as uther’s casual “she was lying”...oh boy) he TURNED THE TABLES and had uther ON THE DEFENSIVE. the number of times we’ve seen uther shut other people down and get his way because he’s king and everyone is afraid of him and this time uther was the one who afraid LITERALLY for his life. HOW’S THAT TASTE BITCH god it was SO satisfying. like, there’s one shot where arthur is walking slowly towards him after all his verbal tactics have failed to de-escalate the situation and he’s in the backround with his eyes so fucking wide and he looks TERRIFIED. i LOVE IT

“you are my son. you would not strike an unarmed man.” “i no longer consider myself your son” AND HE STRIKES HIM

HE👏

DID👏

THAT👏

when i say that i LITERALLY screamed i am not at all exaggerating or using hyperbole. cathy asked twice if i needed to pause & collect myself. i could not have paused if my life depended on it

i’m really on the fence about merlin stopping arthur. on the one hand, arthur has suffered enough and doesn’t need to suffer more by having to carry the guilt or dadmurder. under the other, uther is a monster and needs to die, and the entire world would be better off without him

like...arthur’s face when he says “you have caused so much suffering and pain”...he really finally got it. for one beautiful brilliant moment he understood

i am NOT on the fence about merlin lying to arthur. that was the wrong way to do it. arthur 6000% deserves to know the truth and that’s only gonna come back and bite them later i’m sure (unless it never comes back at all in which case i’ll be pissed)

i’m not sure that arthur would have backed off if they had told the truth and said “uther didn’t realize your mom was gonna die so really that part wasn’t his fault”...he was really mad! but he might’ve. lying was not the way to go. i’m so angry at literally everyone in that scene for allowing arthur to walk away believing he was wrong. he was so full of conviction and he was about to do a really good thing - not good for him personally, but good for the world - and everyone he trusts lied to his face in order to maintain the status quo and not have to deal with anything ugly. i HATE it. i’m team arthur now. i’m in the arthur defense squad. all those dumb liars aren’t good enough to be his friends!!!!!!

like, even his dad’s words were sooo carefully chosen to avoid lying but also avoid telling the whole truth. even in that moment when arthur was laying it all bare and they could have made some sort of progress as character and as people. we had to go BACK TO THE STATUS QUO

Once Again Arthurs Heart Is Hardened To Magic i hate it thanks

honestly look uther telling arthur that he’s a trusted ally in the fight against magic should make him feel a lot more distressed than what we got. i mean i’m sure he’s glad his cover is safe but he should realize that if uther approves he’s doing something wrong

furthermore, uther hasn’t changed a bit. he says he came to thank merlin and that merlin is a loyal servant and trusted ally, but then threatens his life before he leaves. honestly we should have just let arthur stab him

i do appreciate them making a point of mentioning that merlin was tempted to let uther die and that it would have been better for him if uther HAD died and he only did what he did to protect arthur but like...there were ways to do that that didn’t involve lying i think. this is an optimistic show most of the time. it wouldn’t have messed with my suspension of disbelief if arthur had dropped the sword knowing the real whole truth! but no, The Status Quo

i don’t know if i will still love arthur so much in the coming episodes.................we’ll see. i’m kind of nervous because i don’t know how they’re ever going to top this. i think we peaked right here and it’ll never be this good for me again

#personal #merlin blogging #this is.............literally so long sorry #no one is obligated to read it. #i doubt anyone would get to the end anyway #but i just needed to talk about all 1000000 of my feelings #tldr is im v proud of arthur and very mad at everyone else #which makes ME an annoying arthur stan now. oops! #liz's meta #liz's merlin stuff #not really but this post deserves a spot in the hall of fame #liz makes stuff

[kurogabae]

Tsubasa: Trainwreck Chronicles

And Why Bee Train Personally Owes Me At Least a Grand; an Essay by Popular Demand

part 1 part 2

For those of you who might not know, I love Tsubasa Chronicle. So much. But for the love of Kurogane’s beautiful biceps is the anime awful. Now, I’m not one of those “manga purists” who always insists the manga is better than the anime, I tend to find them equal pretty often. This is not one of those cases.

Once upon a time CLAMP made a deal with Bee Train for a Tsubasa anime. Cardcaptor Sakura had done so well! CLAMP was a solid name to back! Bee Train had nothing to lose - except the trust of every CLAMP fan ever. I don’t know how hands on CLAMP (or rather Ohkawa) were in the production but I feel like “not at all” is a fairly solid guess. It was a mess folks. Production was rushed, story was disregarded, plot was cut up and Frankensteined back together, I’m not even going to talk about the English casting.

In fairness, it wasn’t without it’s good points. The soundtrack was flawless, the Japanese cast was amazing, and when Bee Train tried they really did manage to make the series look nice, which imo makes the rest of the subpar animation even more of a slap to the face. They even had some genuinely enjoyable filler episodes - the chibi episode and the Kero and Mokona episode are always the first to come to my mind - but overall? Not even a hot mess, just a mess. 

Under the cut we’ll go arc by arc. I’m not going to rewatch the series just to write this so forgive me if I’m missing facts or if something I say is slightly inaccurate. Also, beware of spoilers for the manga if you haven’t finished reading it. That means you Nick. I’ll write you up a spoiler free copy of this later. Anyway, let’s go.

Opening and introductions:

You’d think, as the start of your series, you’d want the first episode or two to look really nice right? Catch the eye, impress the new viewer. Not Bee Train! [x x] The whole thing is subpar at best. Syaoran and Sakura’s introduction isn’t so bad for the most part, they’re cute and Bee Train tried to add a little more interaction between them before Sakura loses her feathers, which I am all kinds of behind, but... there’s a point where they run from castle guards. And Syaoran sort of just... grabs her and runs and Sakura is left literally flapping in the wind? [x] Also Sakura looks stoned out of her mind in like 90% of the shots she’s in. Touya probably thinks Syaoran is giving her drugs. But honestly, I don’t have too many problems with how the intro happens, mostly just the way it looks.

Fai’s intro can go by with almost no comment aside from the fact that his face looks like it’s melting. Sadly, this is not the worse his face will ever look. Pretty meh.

Personally I think Kurogane’s intro got the short end of the stick visually and I’m not just saying that because he and Tomoyo are my favorites. They both look pretty awful and, as always, where’s the beef???

Also Yuuko deserved better. 

Hanshin:

If possible, the animation gets even lazier. We’ve added Mokona to the party and they cannot decide how big she is. I’m not being nitpicky either. Her size fluctuates wildly. Here are just a few examples set only in Hanshin. This problem persists throughout the series. Also I don’t know how to exactly put this into words but... everyone’s eyes are just extra jacked up. 

Plot wise we mostly follow canon. Until they decide Sakura should get more screen time. “Great idea!” I can hear you say. “We love Sakura!” Well so do I. Problem: she has one (1) feather to her name and is comatose. Sakura is not really going to do anything. Yet the camera keeps going back to her- oh wait she’s awake. Sort of. Oh she’s getting dressed now, we even get a very weird little montage of her trying on clothes. Now she’s wandering the town, meets up with the leader of the Mohawk Gang whose kudan Kurogane beat the crap out of. Luckily she’s a super cute girl (who is barely conscious and doesn’t even talk? She’s so far from Mokona she probably can’t even understand these guys anyway but...) so they take her out to lunch instead of doing something Terrible. To the restaurant Touya works at. He serves her and doesn’t recognize her, meaning there is no Sakura in this world, at least not one related to him. This happens a lot.

In the anime Sakura is sometimes, for reasons unexplained and inconsistent, “drawn” to her feathers. She’s looking for her feather. There is an absurd Looney Tunes moment where she climbs some sort of tall thing (oil rig? construction site? world’s weirdest flag pole?) and jumps off of it before Syaoran and Co. (who have located her after Arashi, who would never have lost track of her in the first place let’s be real, tells them she’s gone AWOL) can stop her.

And then she flies. Literally and truly fucking flies. Through the sky. Thanks I hate it. 

Syaoran catches her, brings her back home, and the story pretty much continues. One fun change was that the whole family had to share a room, they didn’t get separated like in the manga, so we get treated to this Gay Fucking Scene(tm) of Kurogane waking up and the first thing he sees if Fai sleeping while angelic music plays in the background. So that was nice.

Oh god hang on, I had to come back and add this because I literally always forget: Kurogane sees a version of Tomoyo in this world and goes running after her, leaving Fai and Syaoran to meet Touya and Yukito on their own. This results in both of them missing Kurogane’s kudan fight and Kurogane missing the “same face, different person” talk/reminder. They still can’t draw Tomoyo. 

Also this.

Koryo:

Where’s the beef?

Much in the spirit of Hanshin, Koryo keeps mostly to the plot and has overall meh animation with a few choice moments of dear god why. Surprisingly, they made a few changes that I didn’t hate - the village had gotten a group of rebels together against the Ryanban. He also stole Chu’nyan’s mother’s body, making it so that her spirit could never find peace, making him even more of a dick.

This is where we see the first instance of the anime really being geared towards younger audiences than CLAMP had planned for. In the manga Sakura wins everyone new clothes via dice gambling, but in the anime she wins a lottery. Not a big deal, but we see more of this. Another thing change is that there’s a whole secondary plot added to everything when they try to, again, give Sakura a more active role. There are better ways to do this, but Bee Train sort of just tosses her into action and then tosses Syaoran in after her. It’s always bad and pointless and never amounts to anything. 

Anyway, she ends up inside the castle, somehow Syaoran manages to follow after her. Goodness knows what the dads are up to. (Probably this.) Some Really Weird Stuff happens and from what I remember the spirit of Chu-nyan’s mother hops a ride out of the castle with Sakura. Who, uhh, teleports her and Syaoran out. Yeah.

The rest of the arc goes pretty much how the manga does with a handful of minor changes - like the fact that Kurogane never bought a manga in Hanshin, so in order to block Kiishim’s killing blow he’s tucked the hammer he was using to fix the roof in his shirt, which is a much smaller shield than a whole ass book and I think that’s dumb. Still can’t get Mokona’s size right, to awkward and hilarious results.

And remember kids, we won’t show you dice but we will show you this.

Big Lake and Shipper Fish:

The animation in this part is actually pretty nice. Considering. The things they changed were needless and weird.

Sakura and the fish talk. How? Why? We don’t know, it’s never explained or examined. We are meant to accept it Because Sakura, which only works most of the time. The fish tries to tell Sakura that she knows Syaoran - we all know this will not and cannot work. Why does this happen? What was the point of adding this? It is so weird and awkward. It messes up the flow and is so extra. I understand your desires Shipper Fish, but please, let things take their course.

Jade:

Fuck you and fuck your animation. It looks The Worst, which is a bummer because this world changes the fewest amount of things. Anything I could point out are really minor:

somehow Fai can read

they never show how the family gets their clothes, and 99% of the scene in the tavern is skipped

breaking and entering!

Mokona bites Kurogane in the ass

they don’t have horses

no Kuro-dork looking at the snow like an excited child

they nerf Kurogane’s BAMF

the feather isn’t hidden behind a wall, they need the pure hearts of children?

Kyle was a way lazier villain 

Filler #1 - Lightning Jazz Hands:

Alright, that looked neat as hell, I’ll admit. My compliments end here.

Story: nosy little shits got themselves cursed. Gonna fight in a competition to win a Big Magic. Is the Big Magic a feather? Stay tuned! (It’s not, because then the girl would die and that would be Too Sad.)

So the people in this country can shoot lightning out of their hands, that would be awesome and possibly scary, but I guess Kurogane is water/ground type because he gets it and only says, and I quote, “it tingles”. So your lightning powers mean nothing, add no stakes, and the Fam can’t do it so what is the point?

This filler is also famous for its KuroFai baiting, which is impressive, seeing as the anime tried very hard to make them Not Gay. I mean it failed but yeah.

Syaoran is the only fighter they have left because Kurogane and Fai are children and Sakura is making friends with the cursed girl. Keefer... Keepha... fights Syaoran, and obviously Syaoran wins because we’re supposed to think this is a feather. They really play it up to, even after we learn the Big Magic isn’t a feather Syaoran still hesitates before handing it over. For dramatics I guess? I don’t know, there’s literally no reason for him to not give it to the needy couple.

Boring filler. Only fun was watching Kurogane get excited over fighting people.

tbc... with Outo

[part 1] [part 2]

#Tsubasa Trainwreck Chronicles #my meta #sort of????? #TRC #spoilersTRC

[hamilton-one-shots]

Hamilton High School AU 46

"You can get in trouble for doing that, you know.."

He turned and saw Alexander, pulling down his bandana.

"Can we talk?.."

"Alright.." he muttered.

"I don't know where to begin.. I'm sorry for leaving you... And I'm sorry for not telling you what I was up to, but I'm not sorry for what I did. I knew you'd never let me post something like that, but you shouldn't be in that kind of situation. Nobody should. I know I did the right thing by writing that."

John sighed and shook his head. "I feel humiliated. This is not something I wanted anyone to ever know. This is why I kept those things a secret in the first place, so they wouldn't get blown up like this. I thought that you, of all people, would understand that. I thought you'd respect my boundaries."

"I thought you'd be glad to know that he'd never be able to lay another finger on you. I can't let that bastard get away with hurting you again."

"And I understand that, I get it. But the least you could've done was run it by me before spilling my every secret. I trusted you.."

"And I trusted you not to spend all that time with Thomas fucking Jefferson."

John frowned. "Jefferson didn't leave me when I was having a panic attack. He insisted on staying with me even after I assured him I was okay, not leaving when all I asked was for him to be there."

"If you want a rapist as your friend, then who am I to complain, then. Is that what you want to hear? That I'm okay with you calling up your ex the second your boyfriend was out of the picture, trying to help you get out of an abusive situation?"

"Whatever you're implying, you have no right to be. I texted him on accident and I made sure he knew that the second he got there. I was panicking too hard to notice that it wasn't Lafayette I texted. And he offered to leave the second Lafayette got there, but I was too panicky, unable to even make a damn sentence to get myself to make him leave." He hesitated before adding the next part. "And.. And you know what, I'd rather you hang out with Aaron Burr than be dead. If you don't feel the same way, then I guess that you won't care that I probably would've ended up dead if i didn't have half a mind to call someone, anyone, to convince me that that wasn't the way."

"I'm sorry that Aaron never tried to sexually assault me. Your mom wouldn't have let you suffer like that, so why should I have?"

John gritted his teeth. "Don't you dare bring my mother into this."

Alexander was unable to stop himself by then. "Why? Do you hate being reminded that she trusted you to watch your siblings and you left them with an abusive bastard?"

"Shut up!" John screeched, tears streaming down his face. "I hate being reminded that the best day of my life was turned into the worst right in front of my eyes. I hate being reminded of the second that the monitors started beeping like crazy and I got pushed out with nobody to help me while I went through my first panic attack."

"You're not the only person who watched their mother die, you know! I went through the same thing, so shut up!"

Thomas heard the yelling and glanced around the corner, watching everything happen. This wasn't his fight to stop.

"I'm not the one who brought your mother into this. And do you want to know why I didn't mind having Thomas around after what he did? Because he didn't do anything. One make out session went too far for me, I freaked out and punched him in the face after he touched me one time. I'm the one who broke things off, who ignored him all because of one mistake. Nothing compared to five years of actual assault, of Martha being threatened so I'd shut up, of my dad not caring because I should've tried harder to fight it." John felt his stomach churning, but if Alexander wanted to spread his secrets, maybe he had to hear the whole story. "You want to know why I leave my siblings with him? Because they're not me. They're not the bastard child who made my parents get married, they're not the stupid faggot child who can't seem to stop getting assaulted, they're not the ones my dad hate and he'd never lay a hand on them when he doesn't even care if I live."

Alexander felt himself shutting up. This was not something he was supposed to be hearing. And it wasn't something that John wanted to share, he could see it in his eyes. He looked so empty.

"I'm used to the abuse. I'm used to the hate. I just wanted to be able to act like I was normal." John began swaying, the stress getting to be too much for him.

Thomas swooped in and caught him before he could fall to the ground. "Hey.. I'm here, sunshine.."

"No.. No, you don't get to-"

"Can it, Alexander."

John pushed himself away from Thomas and took a deep breath. "What are you doing here?.. I wanted to talk to Alexander. Privately."

"Yeah, but-"

"No. Let me talk to him alone."

Thomas bit his tongue and got up, glaring at Alexander as he walked off.

"John.. I'm so sorry... I had no idea.. I should've talked to you.." Alexander began sobbing as he knelt down beside John. "But I'm not going to say I regret writing that pamphlet. Never."

John wiped Alexander's tears. "I get that.. But I'll never think it was okay.. Do you.. Do you still want to be my boyfriend?.." John opened his arms for Alexander. He just wanted him to hold him.

"I don't want anything else." He fell into his arms and cried against his chest, feeling John crying into his hair. The pair stayed just like that for a few minutes, needing each other and regaining strength from each other.

After a few minutes, John pushed himself to his feet. "I'll be okay.. I just wasn't able to sleep.. I'm tired.."

"Let's skip today... I really don't want to go to school..."

"Me neither." He smiled and kissed Alexander's cheek before walking off with him.

"I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have said all of that..."

"I shouldn't have either.. That's why I'm forgiving you so easily." He squeezed his hand. "We both got carried away. Thomas isn't coming between us that easily, I want you to know that."

"Okay.." he muttered, not completely convinced.

They went to John's apartment and sat on his couch, finally able to cry in the comfort of each other's arms in private.

"I'm so sorry for saying that.. I had no right bringing up your mother and I deserve you yelling at me like that.."

"Thank you for saying that... I know you couldn't control yourself and I could barely do the same.. That's why I started boxing and why I understood your anger spells.. When I get them, I tear people apart with guilt.. Like cheating on a test or stealing a pencil, stupid little things that people don't think bother them, I'll twist them against them or, in this case... Yeah.."

"No.. It's not okay.. I've been a shitty boyfriend and I want to be better.. I'm going to be a better boyfriend, I promise.."

"You've been just fine. One bad day won't ruin our relationship."

Alexander buried his face in John's chest. He was dating a saint. "I love you so much... I do not deserve you..."

"Don't talk like that. Just promise me that you won't run off again.. I know you meant well, but that's really, really bad for me.."

"I won't leave you.. I promise I won't leave you again.. I love you so much.."

"I love you too.." He ran a hand over Alexander's hair.

"Can we... Can we talk about our mothers?.. Like just to open up a bit?.."

"Yeah, of course.. What do you want to know?"

"Just whatever. Like.. My mom used to flip when I came home covered in dirt and mud after playing with the neighborhood kids.. I was the smallest and I always made sure they knew I could keep up, but that meant playing with them in the mud. She always said she'd chop off my legs, but then we'd laugh it off and she'd get me in a bath." He smiled fondly at the memories.

John nodded and chuckled at his own memories. "I know I used to stress my mom out more than she let on.. I'd always bring home animals I found on the streets and keep them in my room. Dogs, cats, turtles, of course.. And we lived in a neighborhood of spoiled kids, so rabbits, hamsters, a few snakes. And I'd always cry when I got caught and I wouldn't stop until she made sure she found somewhere safe for them." He snorted. "What really took the cake was the time I brought home a horse. How I managed to sneak him to my room, I'll never know."

Alexander laughed, unable to tell if John was joking or if he really managed something that crazy. After a few stories back and forth, Alexander sighed. "Okay.. Can we get serious for a moment?.."

"Yeah. What's up?.."

"I just... I'm sorry.. About that night?.. I never would've tried anything if I knew about.. you know.."

John frowned. "Don't blame yourself. Like I said, it was in the moment. I wanted to continue. With Jefferson, it was different.. He didn't force me, but I was still dealing with anger issues and after he accidentally outed me.. I don't know.. I couldn't bring myself to talk to him.."

Alexander nodded slowly. "Can I ask you something?.. Do you... Do you still like him?.. Like, honestly. I won't get mad."

John hesitated for a few seconds before nodding. "I don't think I ever stopped... But I still love you. Like.. I know it's weird.."

"No, it's totally normal. Like.. It's not weird. It's like me being bi. It's not weird that I think both guys and girls are attractive. It's not weird that you like two people at once."

"You really think so?.."

"Yeah." He kissed his cheek. "Maybe... Maybe you can talk to him about it.." The words felt like venom on his tongue, but he wanted John to be happy. And if that involved sharing him with Thomas Jefferson, then who was he to keep him from that.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean.. Like a poly relationship... I could learn to deal with Thomas and if it makes you happier to be with both of us, then I'd be more than happy to just have just some of you."

John shook his head. "Oh, no. I could never ask that from you. Just because I'm poly or I like both of you doesn't mean that I have to be with you. And I know how much you must hate him and how much he probably hates you..."

Alexander nodded. He really did hate Thomas, especially recently. He makes one mistake and he's trying to take John away from him. Still... Maybe if the pair got to hang out, Alexander could learn to- "I was supposed to talk to him at lunch today! Ugh, I was supposed to work with him for something for debate society." He texted him. [hey, sry i wasnt in, can we tak about finans 2moro?] ".... Thomas wants to beat me up, doesn't he?.."

[Yeah, whatever. Then you can fuck everything up Hamilton style xx]

"I think he does.."

John frowned. "Well, if he cares about what I think, he won't lay a hand on you. I'll never let him hurt you."

"I'll take your word for it."

"Thanks.." John smiled. "Can we take a nap?.. I'm so tired."

"I thought you'd never ask," Alexander chuckled.

John kissed his cheek and pulled the blanket that Herc brought out over them, then fell asleep.

Aaron Burr was in need of some sleep at the moment as well. After a night spent looking for a way, he found a way to hack into Mark's thumbprint lock and was able to take it to the police station in the morning, telling the officer he spoke to everything that he knew.

"Thank you. And how is it again that you came into possession of his phone?"

"I found it on the floor when I was on my way to the auditorium to see my friends in drama practice. I tried turning it in, but the office was already closed. I opened it to find a way to see who it belonged to and I found those awful messages."

"I see. Don't worry. We'll take care of this. Why don't you get to school."

"Of course." He smiled kindly and left the station, driving to school.

A few people muttered amongst themselves when they saw him coming in late, but they were too scared to ask him anything about it. Well, everyone but Mark was. He followed Aaron in the hallways.

"Hey, who do you think you are coming to class late, huh? You think you're someone special? You're just some nerd, not anywhere near as important as the captain of the soccer team." He bounced a soccer ball on Aaron's head and people began keeping their distance, not wanting to be there when he blew up. "You're just mad that you'll never be with Theodosia, aren't you? You're mad that she'd never want to be with some geek and you tried being a bad boy for once?" He did it again and Aaron just ignored it, knowing what was soon to come. "Well, guess what, Theodosia is my girlfriend, no matter what kind of stupid sweet things you do. You're never going to change that. Even if she was stupid enough to break up with me, she'd never be interested in someone like you. I've been listening around and I learned that you're not even a real-"

"Mr Prevost. You are to report to the office at once."

Mark tutted and took the pass from Eacker, then glared at Aaron. "I'll see you later."

"No, Mark. You won't." Aaron watched as Mark walked down the hall.

"Are you okay, Aaron?"

"Yes sir. Thank you." He nodded and walked towards his own class.

During that same class period, Frances looked around the room before leaning towards Martha. "What do you think those cops wanted with Theo? You don't think Mark made her do something, do you?.."

"I hope not.. She's too sweet for something like this.."

The pair couldn't do anything but wait until they received a sign that Theodosia was okay. And boy, did she deliver. Their phones were flooded by messages within seconds and they excused themselves to the bathroom to freak out and talk once she got back to school. Naturally, there was also Aaron to thank.

[Frankie: yo, I don't know how you managed, but you are the BEST!]

[Martha: Theo said the police said you helped turn in Mark!]

[Frankie: We so owe you one!!!!!]

[Martha: You're her hero!]

Aaron smiled as the texts rolled in. He was glad to see that he could help. The responses that made him the happiest were, obviously, Theodosia's.

[Theodosia: Hello ❤️ So... I just had the most amazing morning! 💕] [Theodosia: I'm single! 📣^_^ And Franky keeps telling me that you had a part to play in that, so thank you!] [Theodosia: I can't express it in text... but you have no idea how grateful I am...] [Theodosia: I'm going to be late in, but I'm coming to school. Can I meet up with you at lunch? 💕 I need to see you xx]

He blushed brightly and responded as soon as he could. [Yes, I did have a part in this and I'll tell you about it when I see you at lunch later. I'm so glad I could help.]

[Theodosia: Not just help, this is a miracle!] She was happier than she ever could've been, even sitting in the back of a police car on her way back to school. She bit her lip before asking [Theodosia: Maybe we can hang out tomorrow and talk about decorations?] [Theodosia: And we're havign a sleepover tomorrow. I'd love for you to come.]

[That sounds great. : ) I'll see you at lunch.]

[Theodosia: Of course! Bye!]

[Bye.] He smiled and put his phone in his pocket, daydreaming. He didn't care that Theodosia was single, he cared that she was safe and happy. Whether or not she wanted to be in a relationship was going to be all her choice.

When the bell rang for lunch, Theodosia practically floated to the cafeteria, walking past everyone with a bright smile. When she got there, she quickly fixed her hair and clothes before moving and sitting with Aaron at his usual spot. "Hi.."

"Hey." He smiled. "I'm so glad to see you happy now."

"It feels great not having to go home to him anymore. You don't know how grateful I am that you did this."

"You don't have to be. I couldn't let him hurt you like that anymore. And it wasn't any trouble, I promise you."

She smiled. "You're the best. Umm..." She paused for a second before continuing. "So.. You know I like you, right?.. And.. And I like you, I really do.. But I'd prefer it if we just stayed friends... Or at least if we just weren't really 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'... After Mark... You know?.."

"I completely understand. I was going to ask how you felt on the topic and I was expecting that kind of answer. Don't worry, I'm completely okay with it. A girl like you is worth waiting for."

She smiled and blushed brightly. "Thank you... You don't know what that means to me.."

"It's nothing, really." He smiled back.

"You know.. Martie and Frankie are so wrong about you. You're not some emotionless robot. You're sweet and caring.."

"Well... I don't usually have much emotion to show. Or any reason to show it. But it's different with you.. I really do care about you.. Besides you, the only other human that really sees a human side to me is my grandmother and my one friend, who I'm not on such great terms with right now.."

"I get it. Some people have sides that they don't want others to see. And I'm sure Thomas isn't nearly as bad as he seems."

"Thomas? Oh, I didn't mean him. I had another friend, John Jay. He used to be a cool guy, but lately.. I don't know."

"I'm sorry..."

"It's fine. At least I have CC."

She smiled. "He seems like a good cat. You should bring him to the sleepover. And maybe I can meet him tomorrow while we're working."

"And you can bring Thor over." He returned the smile.

"That sounds great.. But do you think it'd be okay to leave them alone together when we go to Jefferson Hall?"

"Yeah. CC has enough places he can climb to and hide, if he has to."

"Well, that's good," Theodosia giggled.

Aaron smiled. It was going to be a great day tomorrow, he knew it.

Theodosia tutted as the bell rang. "Has it been an hour already?.. Time really flies when I'm around you.." She smiled shyly and left.

Aaron smiled and went to his own class.

#hamilton #hamilton fanfic #alexander hamilton #john laurens #thomas jefferson #aaron burr #theodosia alston #lams fanfic #thaurens #burrdosia #francis kinloch #martha wayles #46 #chapter 46

[chickenfetus]

ALL!!!! (also the gemini sqUAD LOL)

im gonna enjoy a nice cup of water while doing this bc idk a tea (update i didnt drink water at all and now im dying of thirst,, also undercut bc many)

1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?

i dont wake up early enough to see the sunrise and when i do i never manage to take pics bc of school so peachy sunsets

2: Sugar cones or waffle cones?

idk what a sugar cone is but i like waffle cones!!! havent eaten ice cream with a cone in forever though,, i rarely eat ice cream now

3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite?

listen…. its about 33 degrees everyday but even if im in a colder country i dont wear scarves

4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up?

this depends?? on how motivated im feeling lmao never more than 10 minutes though because if i lay awake for that long ill just fall back asleep

5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?

i dont think so?? im bad at trying new things especially food

6: What does your umbrella look like?

i dont.. go outside often and whenever i do i take public transport so basically everythings sheltered so i never had a need for umbrellas

7: Do you listen to ASMR?

ive only listened to one everybody please listen to this gift

8: Rain storms or a light drizzle?

both, preferably when im indoors

9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?

hm??????????? my tags lmao 

UPDATE: i also really like reading other people’s tags and their rambles that is all

10: Favorite color aesthetic?

does the word aesthetic make this question any different from a normal favourite colour question???? if it doesnt then sky blue 

11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler?

in this house we draw lines with no ruler like men (but also because even if i did use a ruler it wouldnt be like… straight idk i cant use rulers

12:  Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room?

neutral cozy living room but i also love basking in sunlight 

13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they?

im not a big fan of heavy smelling products so i dont own any candles

14: Have you ever rode a horse?

i dont think so??????? ive seen horses before though

15: Do you have glasses?

without my glasses i wouldnt be able to read these questions lmao and . .. theyre also a result of watching pokemon too closely to the tv at a young age… its been like 10 years since i got glasses

16: What’s a language you’d like to speak?

japanese i tried speaking it but i got 2 embarrassed to say anything properly while i was in japan (i cant even speak english properly to a friend whyd i think i could speak another language to a stranger beats me) 

17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?

my singaporean no season ass: ? but autumn and november (is this cutting it too close to winter? idk my seasons)

18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks?

hm not really i just wear blue ankle socks a lot but my friend did give me a pair of pokemon and gudetama socks before and i adore those although i lost the gudetama ones in the uk last year she got me another pair whatd i do to deserve her?

19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie

m .. um? big. hero 6?????? 

20: Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar?

my dumb ass didnt know they were different

21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?

i rarely go and watch movies anymore but when i did watch a lot of movies with my friend at the theater we’d get afternoon shows and sneak mcdonalds in lmao

22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition?

how about band? day6 i only ever play pokemon + sif + bandori so i cant say much and i rarely watch movies and a show? if its an anime id say the one i mentioned before in my one text post 

23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?

not really rip 

24; All plants are great but do you have a favorite?

HM mmmmmm there was this one but i forgot the name lmao pass

25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.)

when im the … audience? what do u call it???? i like seeing all kinda of art styles!!! everyone has their own unique art style and i love it all :o

for ME,, , ive been doing art for 6 years maybe and i still cant do shit

26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers?

i would die straight up die thats such a soft concept i cant imagine myself receiving flowers thats 2 sweet oh my god wtf id combust??? i prefer leaves though is that weird i picked some nice leaves recently and im gonna give those to my friends

27: Do you like nicknames?

giving and having nicknames is my favorite past time

28: Do you still watch shows you watched when you were a kid? even from time to time?

pokemon lmao thank u 4 not ending it…. the animation has only improved and im so proud to have been watching it since the start pokemon is my special thing i love it so much!! an interest that never died down, with an anime that stays super like idk to my preference? i tried watching the new digimon stuff but i just couldnt :^( im glad they made ash stay the main character 

29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth)

never forget dat boi

30: Favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as? (if you don’t celebrate halloween have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? who did you cosplay as?)

we dont celebrate halloween and i would never cosplay, big shoutout to cosplayers though!!! they put in so much effort and just, respect!!!!! 

i dont know if this is an actual memory because i dont remember well but when i was younger i thiNK? i had to dress up as a swan thing i have no clue i dont even remember the performance but i might have had to ?? and dance??? or act i dont remember everythings fuzzy but i dressed up a swan once? in kindergarten ????? 

31:  Are you a fashionable person?

i have the worst fashion sense and even though jeans are nice once again the weather here doesnt allow me to be as fashionable as i can be

32: Do you like watching holiday movies?

not realyyy??? the jack frost (rip) movie was ncie????

33:  Cookies or brownies?

i live 4 chocolate chip cookies but too much is . . not preferable

34: Do you blow in the cold air just to see your breath?

no i hate breathing in & out from my mouth

35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing?

WELL from the great cockroach ordeal last night id probably die bc we live in an apartment building so the only way id be hearing crickets would be if they were in the ROOM 

36: Do you like cobblestone streets?

my only knowledge of cobblestone is from minecraft so idk

37:  How often do you doodle?

when school was still relevant i would doodle as soon as i picked up a pencil lmao i try not to anymore bc i doodled on my math assignment and forgot to fucking erase it and my math teacher called me out

38: When was the last time you blew bubbles?

a year ago?? i dont remember but i do remember when i was younger id try and blow bubbles at the void deck do yall kno what that is its just a space near the lift lobby anyway i swallowed the soap thing idk u know how ur supposed to blow? well i sucked the soap in yum

39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?

in my room its the bed and in the house its the water bottle that contains water

40: Do you bite your fingernails off or clip them more often?

i………………………… i dont actualy kno how to clip my nails and my mum would kill me if i tried but i dont bite my nails either

41: Any birthmarks?

not that i know of

42: Thoughts on freckles?

ive never actually seen someone with freckles in public before but theyre good stuff i gueess?? i dont actually have an opinion on them? everyone says theyre cute and all but im just ??? not that i hate freckles tho if u have freckles? thats cool! 

43: First video game you ever played?

pokemon pearl?? either that or megaman on my ps3 OR the bomb square guy????? idk the game name but.. ya

44: what type of bird do you hear most often outside your door?

i dont know what the bird species are but theyre small black birds not crows idk

45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people?

memes yes gifs no bc im not lame like jen

46: Thoughts on spring?

no comment?? i mean? its nice??????? i guess ??? if we had a spring

47: Ideal temperature outside?

oh boy 20 degrees would be enough for me but its never gotten that low before sunny island’s life

48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies?

i like clear skies when its bright! but not too sunny and not too warm!!!!! clouds are nice to look at too though

49: How often do you hear airplanes outside?

yeah we live near an airport i dont think anybody uses????

50: Do you enjoy windy days?

windy days are my SHIT back in school our basketball court was open spaced and whenevr wind blew we could feel it man thats the life right there but i hate windy days when im sitting at home bc it flows the curtains rigth into my face i like the feel of the wind and the smell of fresh air but… curtains in my face? not 2 great so rip i close all the windows lmao

okay thank u so much 4 asking falen i love you and wow this was a lot

#im laughing icb i asked u to ask me thank u for asking #ur a good pal #softshouyous #asks

[neewtmas]

100 questions

Thanks to @giraffingthetardis i sat here for 2 hours answer all this questions     (but don’t worry, it was fun^^) 

#1- does the darkness comfort you?   depends. in my room in my bed it’s ok, but at every other place i’m nearly dying of fear .  

#2-what brings you crashing to the floor? not much, actually i can’t think of anything right now                   

#3angels or demons? angels

#4- God or Satan? yes, i just said angels, but i’m more for satan

#5- would you sit on the moon and watch the universe twirl quietly, even       if you couldn’t breathe? yes! even it would be fun only for like 20 secs?

#6- what scares you most in the world? darkness and heights

#7- can we always be there for one another? of course

#8- I feel like I’m dying… Can I talk to you? yes! don’t hesitate, i’m here

#9- being blind or being deaf? idk, like i love music but i love reading more and it would be terrible for me to live in darkness forever so i would rather be deaf

#10- what song makes your heart pound the most? idk... just every song by ed sheeran

#11- do you wish on stars? do you mean shooting stars? bc i would,but i’ve never seen one :/

#12- what were you doing last night at 1:03 am? sleeping?

#13- the happiest, most golden moment of my life? tbh, i don’t know. like there are many happy moments, moments where i’m just thankful for everything i have (ik i’m a cheesy potato) but i can’t think of the most happy one? i guess i couldn’t do a patronus .-. 

#14- the worst, most positively crushing moment of my life? didn’t had one yet

#15- if you had to choose between your mother and your father, who would you choose? oh god. idk maybe my mother? 

#16- ask me anything ok random fact: i love eating pomegranates, but everytime i make one, the kitchen looks like i slaughtered a pig afterwards

#17- salt or sugar? sugar

#18- death by water or fire? idk i think fire bc you get unconscious by all the smoke first or later by the pain and won’t feel anything, also i hate the feeling of drowing

#19- if you could have a degree in anything, what would it be? idk

#20- black or white? ….assuming I don’t like grey both, but rather black?

#21- the thing/person I want to stay safe and happy and comforted in this world? everyone i like

#22- if you could have the superpower of flight, invisibility, or mind-reading, which would you choose? invisibility, i think it would be really interesting to see how people act when you’re not around

#23- is music something you could not live without? i love music... but i could live without it if it would really necessary

#24- favorite flower my dear? roses

#25- why dragons? why not?

#26- ice cream in winter? Or possibly hot chocolate in the summer? hot chocolate in summer, i’m not the biggest fan of ice cream

#27- what’s your sexuality? heterosexual

#28- do you dream in black and white or color? luckily in colour, i think dreams in black and white would be really scary

#29- nights full of nightmares? nope

#30- what was the voice in your head saying at 2 am? idk, i was sleeping #31- okay…. Why don’t you hate the thorns on a rose? idk, it’s a part of the rose i guess? also, i like this thought -beautiful, but hard to touch if you don’t treat it careful

#32- do you trust me? yes 

#33- most cared for song at the moment? kitchen sink by twenty one pilots,i just love the lyrics

#34- worst injury? one time i fell off a horse and it stepped accidentally on my right shin - nothing bad happened but it hurted very much

#35- bath or shower? shower

#36- color you love the most? blue, black and white

#37- anonymous question ok, another fun fact: plants hate me,like i just have tolook at them and they already die .-.

#38- another way to wish not using 11:11, dandelion blooms, or even the fairy you thought you saw…? nope

#39- do you ever stare at the sky and look for those weird shapes in the clouds? yes! all the time, especially when i’m sitting in class

#40- a really weird something I like to eat in a weird way ok it’s not a weird something, but at our school you can buy this chocolate crossiants with a little chocolate bar in the middle, and i always eat the dough at the outside first, then the yummy pastry on the inside and then the chocolate bar, instead of just eat the whole thing like evrey other normal human being

#41- Lamborghini or Corvette? ok, i had to google it, and for me it looks pretty much the same, but i think i like corvette more

#42- when did I have my first kiss? Boy or girl? i didn’t had my first kiss yet (and i’ll die lonely with 30 cats)

#43- most listened to genre?  idk what genre this is, but i mostly listen to twenty one pilots, Ed Sheeran and Fall out boy #44- Jack Frost or Iron Man? Jack Frost ( is it possible to have a a crush on an animated character??)

#45- are shorts and a tank-top an optional outfit for you today? nope, bc first, i’m fat and second, it’s freezing cold outside right know

#46- will you be speaking to anyone you hate today? i won’t be speaking to anyone today

#47- nachos or pizza??? pizza pizza piiiiizzza

#48- is my life what I thought it might be like nope, bc i’m the most lazy person on this planet, even if i don’t want to

#49- thing I am the most proud of accomplishing? idk, i don’t have accomplish many things by now

#50- ask me a question concerning intimacy i’ll just skip this question lol

#51- piano or guitar? piano

#52- tell me something about yourself, my follower, please :) ok another fun fact: i can’t sleep longer than 10 am

#53- rather a mad world? Or an insane universe? insane universe

#54- are you that girl that sits alone on her roof at night? no, bc i’m that girl that is too afraid of falling down to sit at her roof at night or any other time

#55- I wrote this question at 3:59 in the morning, listening to Mad World by Jasmine Thompson: do you like hummingbirds? yes! i even drew one for my phone case

#56- is 1 (one) a unit or a number? a number

#57- glorious fireworks on a dark beach with your thoughts? Or swimming in the rain with your lover? i would love swimming in the rain with my lover - only problem: i don’t have one

#58- tattoo? What would it be? i don’t have one, but i think of a little moon or stars on the inside of my right wrist

#59- natural shade of your hair?  dark brown

#60- color of your eyes? oh thats interesting. hazel, and when i’m standing in the shadow, they’r brown, in the sun green, with the sun directly in my eyes somewhat green, light brown and and a hint of gold and with normal light they look mostly like a duck had just shit in my eyes .-.

#61- the thing you regret the most? don’t have one

#62- would you break a heart if it helped someone else? depends on who it would help

#63- do you ever wish you hadn’t kissed a past friend/lover/acquaintance? i never kissed a past friend/lover/acquaintance

#64- the most violent/brutal/inhuman thing you’ve ever done? i never did something like this, i’m a walking sunshine :)

#65- would I hug again, my most recent lover? maybe

#66- would I kiss the lips of my last kiss? maybe not

#67- who was the last soul to see you cry idk that’s long ago, but i guess my best friend

#68- have you ever looked into the eyes of someone who was about to die… And you didn’t even know it? if so, i don’t know it today either

#69- do you ever wear your clothes in a uncomfortable fit, just to try and reshape the way your body looks?  all the time

#70- have you ever intentionally hurt someone? pysical not, but when i’m really angry at someone, i can get mean and say things i don’t mean but just say because i want to hurt that person

#71- if you could spend the night with anyone, anywhere you wanted, how would you end up? idk, probably one of my favourite fictional characters

#72- butterflies or dragonflies? butterflies

#73- do you enjoy cooking? yes, but i’m the worst cook ever

#74- given the rather unpleasant opportunity, would you wear white to a funeral? yes, if it would fit to the dead person,like if he/she was a hopeful person i would probably do it

#75- have you ever abused drugs/alcohol/people? no never, i’m a good girl

#76- have I ever lay down in a barren field in the middle of a lightning and thunder storm? no luckily not

#77- would you dear, eat a strangers heart? i would eat nobody’s heart, not even the heart of an animal

#78- take the chance to sing in front of 10,000 people, while its snowing? no, because i can’t sing

#79- if “New Zealand” was a French pastry dish, would you eat it? i would try

#80- if “Naples Italy” was a Korean Milkshake, would you drink it? i would try

#81- if “Cardiff Wales” was a star in the universe, do you think you would know that? probably not #82- what happened in your dream/s last night? i forgot it 

#83- tell me who doesn’t deserve the air they breathe? the only person who i can think of is Donald Trump, becuase he stands for everything i absolutely hate, and is basically an asshole

#84- do you speak any foreign languages? english

#85- do you experience anxiety attacks? nope #86- ABCDEFGHIJKPLMNOPQRSRTUVWYXYZ…. do you know the alphabet? yes. and that’s wrong. it’s ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRTUVWXYZ

#87- describe “nucleus” ...

#88- running through the woods at night? Or crawling in the snow at dusk? crawling in the snow

#89- have you ever had a one night stand? Do you regret it? nope, i never had one #90- ask me anything “music” related *skips the question while hearing Young Volcanoes by Fall out boy*

#91- smoke alone, by the water or on your roof in the dark? by the water, but without the smoking part

#92- have you ever kissed a flower, knowing it was someone else’s favorite? ...no?

#93- have you ever sat on a cold bridge… And just waited? nope

#94- when I said “I love you” last… Did I honestly, truthfully and wholly mean it? i never said ‘I love you’ before (at least not in a romantic way, otherwise: yes)

#95- have you ever had a near-death experience? /What happened? no

#96- what do I want more than anything else on the planet/in the world/in the universe? idk

#97- do you put others before yourself, even on bad days? no, i’m a bit selfish from time to time, but i guess that’s important sometimes

#98- what, to me, is an angel? idk, someone who helps you in a situation where you really need it?

#99- what’s the most passionate thing I’ve ever done? idk i can’t think of something

#100- this is not a question, but rather a statement. 

* I want everyone to do me a favor: smile. Find that piece, that glimmer, that twinkle that brings life to you breath. Hold it, love it, don’t let it go. Talk to that person you fell for so long ago… Laugh with them, cry with them. It doesn’t matter, just talk. Get it all off your chest. We all need this. Eat what you want. Fuck society, everyone is beautiful, shape/color/voice/culture/sexuality/habits/ love and hates included. Wear something comfortable. Listen to your favorite song until you’re shouting the lyrics at the world because it feels wonderful. Run outside in the night air and jump up and down in your pajamas like a crazy child because we are human and we are beautiful and we deserve the love no one ever gets. Because we are us, and that is more than okay.

#101- thanks guys 

#100 questions #now i'm really exhausted #tagged #giraffingthetardis