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#'just like.. live in it for a minute' i want to kill you with my teeth
agirlcandream84 · 2 days
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we need more hc!!!! they're amazing!!!! what about bf!frank when you're mad at him/you two have a fight??? 🤭🤭🤭
Truth is, I'm sorta never not thinking about a next batch of headcanons and you kinda read my mind with the theme! Except I'm thinking of all the times Frank has been mad at YOU.
Times When Boyfriend!Frank Has Been Mad At You
Well, of course, that time your car broke down and his reaction to finding out.
One of the times Frank got mad at you was actually before you even really started dating but that didn't mean Frank wasn't already in deep and when he discovered you hired a Task Rabbit to haul out some old dresser out of your apartment -- he was stompin' down the hall in three steps asking "who's this jerk?" and when you told him he gave you an incredulous look going on about how a "pretty girl like you can't invite some random asshole into your apartment. Gonna get yourself killed like that" before he has you sit in the living room while he tells the confused man that he's got it from here and hauls the damn thing out himself.
Ok so we already know about that time that some dude on a crowded subway car rubbed his junk up against you while you were both smashed in during rush hour but did I mention that you failed to disclose that information to Frank for a week before he overheard your sister ask you if you saw the guy who "rubbed his junk into your ass" again since it last happened. You hear Frank mutter "what the fuck" from the other room before he appears in the doorway and says "Sweetheart, can I talk to you for second?" as he nods his head in the direction of the bedroom. Of course you try to deflect but he's insistent and that's when Frank launches into 1) a check to make sure you're ok and 2) when he's confirmed that you are ok, a lecture about withholding this from him. You try to tell him that you didn't want to make a "big thing" about it because it sadly happens to a lot of women and this only enrages Frank more and he's suddenly mad at All Men™️ for being disgusting assholes and obviously theres very little subway in your future.
Frank somehow got retroactively mad at you for walking home drunk from bars dozens of times in your younger days, before he even knew you. You were telling him stories of your partying days, chuckling at your disregard for good decision making, when you see the smile slide off his face and his signature scowl settles in while he crosses his arms over his chest. "Now hang on a minute sweetheart -- I don't like this shit. You coulda gotten hurt," and you're all "No Frank, I know now, I just--" but he cuts you off, his mind already decided on the next course of action-- self defense classes, taught by yours truly. Your eyes couldn't roll further back in your head but he just says "roll 'em all you want doll-- this ain't negotiable"
There was only one time Frank actually yelled at you -- like he was MAD mad -- and that's when you had gone in search of a cool thrift shop you'd heard about on Tik Tok but walked up to the place and it was inside of an enormous and decidedly creepy warehouse with no particular signage. The address looked right but this place looked all wrong. Against your own better judgement, you went in searching for the shop but it was just endless dark hallways and unmarked doors and the faint sound of men's laughter somewhere in the building. Your heart pounding in your chest, you started to feel incredibly unsafe. You probably weren't in any real danger but the vibes felt so wrong and it was the first time in your life you felt genuine fear. Like the kind that made you think you made a very bad mistake. You finally decided to turn back around and called Frank to come pick you up, bursting into tears. Of course he was there in a flash and vert pissed that you ignored your own instincts. "Your gut tells you to get out, you get out! Jesus Christ sweetheart, I know I taught you better than that." He's right and you know he's right so you're just a hiccuping mess, mad at yourself for being an idiot. Frank can't see you so upset for long so he's quickly tugging you into his chest and murmuring on the top of your head, "S'alright sweetheart. Just gotta listen to your instincts. M'not mad, alright?"
Also that time you accidentally spilled bleach on his favorite hoodie. He was just plain ol' pissed at that.
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stariikis · 16 hours
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operation : be your boyfriend | yang jungwon
synopsis ; thousands of ways to say, 'i love you,' and jungwon can't even carry out one special procedure without messing up. that is, until your birthday rolls around and you're greeted by the kitten you've always dreamed of owning, at your doorstep...
pairing ; clumsy!jungwon x fem!reader | genre ; fluff, crushing, confessions | wc ; 2721 | warnings n notes ; you're not oblivious, you're just a little bit of a mastermind sociopath! appearances of sunoo riki heeseung and eunchae in this fic!
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baby... i'm just tryna play it cool... but i just can't hide that... i want you ઇઉ
OPERATION 1 : SECRET ADMIRER
“Clearly, he’s not listening to us.” 
“Yang Jungwon…” 
“Yang Jungwon!” 
Jolting back to the present, Jungwon coughs awkwardly and jerks his gaze away from the girl across the room. He didn’t realise he was staring at the mere back of her head the whole time… how embarrassing for him. Shifting his gaze back to his groupmates, staring at him with a bemused expression, he clears his throat. 
“I’m on task,” he tries to say, but it comes out as a pathetic croak from the roof of his mouth. He has to clear his throat again. 
“What a liar,” Riki scoffs, following Jungwon’s prior gaze all the way to the front of the classroom. Doubled over with laughter by the board, yn seems to have an aura of gold surrounding her figure. In between rays of sunlight and flecks of fairydust, the way she smiles lights up the whole room like she’s in a fantasy book. 
Barely trying to conceal it, Sunoo stares towards her direction. Ironically, the words that leave his mouth as he does so are, “can you at least try to hide it? You’re too obvious.”
“I can’t believe she can’t tell yet,” Heeseung mutters. 
For some reason, the whole table goes quiet. In the middle of the silence, Jungwon can only hear the clacking heels of their Maths teacher walking around and the soft rustle of papers, amiable chatter as groups begin to complete their assigned project. But a single voice stands out in the crowd. 
Never mind. Jungwon only hears her now. 
Isn’t it ridiculous? How he believed that his initial crush on her would be short-lived, nothing more than an impulsive attraction that would fade once he got to know her. When she walked up to him, however, saying nothing but a simple ‘thank you for sending me notes for yesterday’s class!’, he felt like his heart would race out of his chest. Unfortunately for him, she was too charismatic. 
With a perfect all-kill streak of grades, she’s never gotten a grade below 90. Not a point out of place. It’s the kind of person Jungwon aspires to be, a much better version of himself. Yes, he gets straight As every term and yes he’s been the class president for three years on end, but it’s nothing compared to her level. 
For the past two years, ever since she joined the class with an air exuding and radiating sheer confidence, Jungwon has been trying hard to beat her. Once would be enough for him. He’s been trying so hard to defeat her, however, that he’s forgotten to try to tame his feelings for her too. 
About a week after he met her, the butterflies churning deep inside his stomach were already too much for him. In her locker, silver letters Jungwon begged Sunoo to help him calligraph donned the bottom of an indirect, vague love letter. From your secret admirer. He doesn’t even remember now what he wrote inside, but he does recall many descriptions of her pretty smile and easygoing personality. 
It was only a day later he found out that he had accidentally dropped it in the locker next to hers. Lee Heeseung from the class beside them walked past, a basketball under one arm and the other hand holding the letter and reading it aloud to Riki, walking briskly beside him. In an instant, Riki looked straight at Jungwon across the hallway and facepalmed. 
OPERATION 1 : SECRET ADMIRER : FAILED
wait a minute, what is this? my heart is going lub-dub, just keeps pounding
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even from afar, oh, my, gosh! ; pulling me close, you're, my, crush, like a superpower
OPERATION 2 : INDIRECT CONFESSIONS
Daydreams. Flitting endlessly through your mind, like a paradox. It’s impossible to zone out during Biology. How dull you find the zoomed in aspects of all the systems in your body. Sure, you want to pursue something medical-related, but this class just isn’t it. 
“Jungwon’s staring at you again,” whispers your seatmate, Eunchae. She uses her pen to gesture behind you. Two seats diagonal to you both, Jungwon notices your glances his way and pretends to look elsewhere. He’s resting on the palm of his hand, the paper he took out to take notes on completely blank. 
“I can’t believe he’s the class president again,” you mutter with a tinge of bitterness. 
Eunchae sighs. She’s clearly heard enough of your one-sided disliking towards the student leader, and it shows in the way she decides to disregard you. “You don’t have to hate him. He obviously doesn’t reciprocate the hard feelings.” 
Of course he doesn’t. 
You try to hide a triumphant smile. Of course Jungwon doesn’t harbor any hatred towards you. Rather, it’s quite evident in the way he always asks you to be the first player in his team during PE, asks you if you want to group up with him, makes excuses to brush past you in the hallway – he’s always wanted something more than friendship. 
The one time you did agree to do a Korean Language project with him, however, when he came over to record the podcast you had written, all that got done was a bunch of giggles into the portable microphone. Jungwon, admitably, had a good sense of humor. And it, unfortunately, matched well with yours. 
You’re making this more solemn than it needs to be, you think to yourself, biting back a small smile to yourself. Shouldn’t it be a good thing that you’ve got Jungwon wrapped around your finger? 
Spinning your pen smartly, you sit up. Right. You’ve gotten out of many late homework submissions and responsibilities because Jungwon would literally cover for you with visible hearts in his eyes when he talks about you. You know you should feel guilty for exploiting him, but it’s just what a friend does, isn’t it? 
Friend. Another memory fades in. 
“Yahh, you’re so down bad you can’t even let her do her own work,” Sunoo mutters to Jungwon, quietly rearranging the papers. He thinks you’re out of earshot, but you can hear their conversation clearly from your desk. 
Jungwon shrugs his shoulders in the corner of your eye, and you swear he glances over at you for a second. “She’s my friend. Are you trying to say you never copy my homework?” 
Sunoo tsks loudly. “It’s different. She doesn’t need the help! You’ve seen her grades.” 
They divert into a small argument about whose grades are better, but you’re not really listening anymore. Your heart is starting to race uncontrollably, and you look desperately down at your chest. You’re trembling from the fact that Jungwon called you his friend? How pathetic. You bite your lip, squeezing your eyes shut as if juicing your brains of unwanted thoughts. 
But you can’t help but let out a short curse when your heart doesn’t slow down, your cheeks don’t cool off. Only Jungwon wants this. Not you too… 
And so when Eunchae finally gets bored of Bio once again, she leans in and pokes you. “Anyway, you know Jungwon has the fattest crush on you.” 
“Oh really?” you murmur, averting your eyes back to the liver diagram in front of you. Where you’re supposed to label, ‘oxygen-rich-blood’, you’ve scribbled ‘only jungwon’ in illegible handwriting. You pretend to act surprised, hiding the words with the palm of your hand. “He didn’t ask you to say that? Did he? As a prank?” 
Eunchae rolls her eyes. “It’s not a prank.” 
“So he asked you to say it.” 
“...” 
“I see.” You reach into your pencil case and pull out an eraser to wipe away the traces of your daydreams. It’s a good thing you do, because Eunchae suddenly looks over and teases you for falling asleep in lesson when you’re usually such a good student. If only she knew about the homework incidences. If only she knew about the thoughts that run through your head. 
What he’s trying to do is kind of… cute.
OPERATION 2 : INDIRECT CONFESSIONS : FAILED
my heart feels like a giant magnet, everything about you sticks to my heart, boy
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we're magnetized, i admit it. this time, i want!
OPERATION 3 : LET'S GET IT!
She’s got to be joking, right? There’s no way… 
“Yeah, idiot, you’re invited to my birthday party. You got a problem with that?” (Name) scoffs at Jungwon, retracting the simplistic black and white invitation card in her hand. “Maybe you don’t deserve this?” 
“No!” He says a little too fast, reaching out to snatch it from her playfully. 
He reads it with a poorly hidden smile. Is he even trying at this point? He’s been on the verge of a proper confession for a while now. Why would he want to hide the fact that he really really really wants her to be his? 
“15 May?” He sighs, feigning disappointment. “Too bad, I can’t make it.” 
Wait for it…
“Really? That’s too bad,” she replies monotonously, walking away without a care. Not the reaction Jungwon was expecting. He releases a breath of air, only now realising that he’s been holding his breath. How boring of her. 
“I was lying!” He calls, smoothing out his school uniform and running down the hallway after her. “I’m definitely coming!” 
She clearly starts to laugh as she runs away from him, yelling, “come or not, it doesn’t matter to me!” 
Jungwon doesn’t give up. With a hand running through his hair, he chases her down the halls. He would chase after her for eternity if he had to. Eventually, he catches up to her with a tap on the shoulder. WIth a mock-annoyed look, she slows down, shoving his shoulder.
“What’s your problem?” She huffs, “Can’t I get a break around here?” 
Jungwon smiles. With just the right amount of delusion, maybe he can convince himself that whatever she’s spouting is just a white lie. Untruths to cover up the truth. She wants him back, he swears!
“You’ll never get a break,” he mumbles, suddenly going shy as he leans in closer. Just like I practiced with Riki. Just like I practiced…
“Annoyi–”
“From running through my mind all day.” 
When Jungwon finally dares to open his eyes (yes, he was so scared he closed them), he’s shocked to see an empty spot next to him. When he looks up and down the hallway, (Name) sticks out her tongue at him, taunting him. The unbothered glimmer in her eyes reveals that she hasn’t heard a thing. 
Once again, Jungwon leaves school with a pit of mild disappointment in his stomach. Not so upset that it hurts like hell, but the wound’s deep enough to leave a scratch.
OPERATION 03 : LET'S GET IT! : FAILED
completely opposite, our type ; you're J and i'm so P
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S and N, polar opposites, but that's what pulls us in
INTERMISSION : BABY YOU'RE MY CRUSH
You hear it all.
What would Jungwon say when he finds out, that for a while now, you’ve been wrestling with your own complicated feelings, playing a game of tug of war inside your own heart? Nobody even knows you know. Nobody would even suspect you, of all people, to reciprocate Jungwon’s feelings. And, by this encounter, even Jungwon himself has no idea. 
i'll make it have a green light, girl's gotta have guts. so, let's go let's go, let's go let's go!
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don't wanna hide it, the magnet in my heart. gonna follow my feelings and get with you, boy
OPERATION 4 : CATCH SOME FELINES (FEELINGS)
What would Jungwon do for love? Just ask him this one question. He’ll probably lie and tell you he doesn’t know, and doesn’t fall for the traps set out by catching feelings, but it won’t explain why he’s outside (name)’s house on her birthday at 8 in the morning. He could very well have come at 9, an hour before the party starts, but he wants to have some time alone with her. 
To present his gift to her, snugly bundled up in his arms. And to, uh, say some other stuff. 
He looks down at the pearl-white fluffy being, purring contently in his arms. Just a while ago, he got his inspiration for a birthday gift for her. She may have casually brought it up in the midst of discussion for yet another group project, but miniscule things like that stick with Jungwon for ages. 
“I want a cat…” she whines, when their group’s gotten sidetracked from their discussion topic. (what do you think the rate of pet ownership is like in Korea?) “they’re so cute. Oh, even better, a kitten!” 
“Just get one then?” Eunchae rolls her eyes, and Riki hums in agreement. 
“I would. Even my mum wants one. But it’s so much work to adopt one.” 
So much work to adopt one? Jungwon scoffs in his mind. Now take a look at the lengths I’ve gone to for you. And I don’t even know if you like me back. Am I stupid or am I stupid? 
“Yes, Jungwon? Can I know why you’ve summoned me so early in the morning?” Suddenly, the front door opens after many persistent tries to ring the doorbell. “I know you’re excited for my birthday… but this is just weird.” 
She doesn’t notice the kitten squirming in his arms, still rubbing her eyes blearily. She looks so exhausted that Jungwon wants to apologise for awakening her and almost runs away to save himself from the awkwardness. But he stands his ground. This time, he will succeed. 
The chronicles of Yang Jungwon’s confession story. It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
“Happy birthday.” He murmurs softly, daring to take a step closer and hold out his arms. At first, she squints down at the blur of fur in his hands, face smeared with confusion. It’s only when the furry ball lets out a small mew that she gasps and jerks her head back up. “I… I, uh…” 
Seeing her so amazed, with tears gathering in her eyes from the euphoria, he loses track of his words. His mind goes blank. Not knowing whether to continue calmly, or panic and die on the spot, he struggles to speak and feels his cheeks quickly growing with warmth. 
What if, just like we practiced doesn’t reassure him anymore, with the last time he used it as an affirmation turning out to be the greatest embarrassment of his life? Just like we practiced? He’s never practiced to be fluent and smooth. He’s always naturally been that way. He’s never had to fumble for the right words to say. Just like we practiced? When would he ever practice worst comes to worst with Riki? Come to think of it, he probably should have. He can’t handle standing here with such shame any longer. 
“I’m sorry for being so annoying I just really really like you and I don’t know whether you’ll like this gift or not, but I can’t go another day thinking you probably don’t like me back you can just reject me that’ll be better than misleading myself forever and ever…” 
He blurts in a small voice. 
And then, he repeats himself, louder and more confident. Like he usually is. “I like you…” 
“You must be blind, Yang Jungwon,” she says, laughing through the tears. A moment of silence passes as Jungwon tries to comprehend what he’s just heard. Blind? Why? She’s not going to say… “I like you, too?” 
It’s a question. It makes his heart race, but it doesn’t seem like enough.
“You do?” He chokes, his voice failing him. Blood rushes to his ears. “You don’t.” 
“Wait.” She clears her throat and claims, “I got nervous. I do. And it’s not the kitten, I know what you’re thinking…” 
Taking a step back, she receives the kitten into her arms and coos while Jungwon tries to process everything. “Though I’m so surprised, and so grateful. This gift is the most thoughtful thing ever. No joke.” 
She knows what I’m thinking… 
Jungwon frowns and steps even closer. He’s so close and she’s so pretty, teary eyelashes gleaming in the morning sunlight. “So you’ve known what I’ve been thinking, huh?” 
“I have.” 
The hard, challenging tone that seeps into her voice is all too familiar to Jungwon. When she leads him into her house for the second time in his life, all he’s thinking is, what a way to reminisce the moment he fell in love with her. 
“You wouldn’t get it.”
“Oh, but I do!” 
A game of wits, you could call it, is what sixteen year old them are playing. Head to head in number of points, they’re competing for first place. Jungwon hides behind his whiteboard, eagerly awaiting her response. She’s never going to guess what he had in mind. She’ll never write the same exact thing, letter for letter— 
“I know what you’re thinking.” She whispers mockingly, smirking as she reveals her answer while peeking over the top of his board. The answers match up. She’s won. “I know exactly what goes on in your head.”
OPERATION 4 : CATCH SOME FELINES (FEELINGS) : SUCCESS!
no push and pull, gonna run to you ; our chemistry yeah, i'm in too deep now no push and pull, no regrets, gonna zero in on you ; never holding back straight ahead, yeah 
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this time, i want!
more of my works >
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kika-writes · 12 hours
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play with me boy - l.n - part3
Warnings: crime mentions, assassinations, arranged marriage, forced marriage, mentions of sex, sexual innuendos, sexual harassment, mentions of cheating, fat-shaming.
Pairing: mafia!Lando!Norris x fem!reader
Summary: Y/N is in an arranged marriage, but falls for someone else…
A/N - Ollie Norris is not a pervert or a bad person, I just used his name as I know he’s Lando’s brother. Also changing the old Big Fic to this x
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Lando. You’d known him for, what, a day? And he was dead. All because he’d wanted to see you - it was technically your fault, wasn’t it? “Y/N, we must go see the family,” your dad said simply, leading out the door as your mother looked at you wistfully. You’d been so close to marriage - yet so far. You said nothing the entire drive there, the gates of the house opening as Adam Norris opened the door, letting you in. 
“Mr Y/L/N. Some little context for the situation. Our son was found in an alley, a block from your own property, covered in his own blood, cuts along his chest and stomach,”. Oh poor Lando. So close to your house, killed by the guards of your own house. You gulped, adjusting your white dress. “Because of this, we must pass on your daughter to our other son,” he concluded, making you look up. You were marrying Oliver regardless, no? “What?” you couldn’t help yourself.,
“Y/N, don’t be so rude, that’s-,” your father started as Adam led you down the hall. “I’m sure Y/N’s a little upset about Ollie’s death,” Adam said, opening the halls of the living room. “I thought Lando…” you trailed off, realising you’d been speaking aloud. “Lando? How’s you know his name, he was forbidden to speak to you,” Adam frowned, raising an eyebrow as you and your father sat. “Oliver must’ve told her. Onto the actual matter, surely you should bring Master Norris in..?” your father waved off the matter, thankfully for you. 
“That would be adequate,” Adam sighed, calling the housemaid to summon his youngest son. Again, Lando strolled into the room, wearing a same white shirt and black dress trousers as yesterday, a dogtag chain hanging on his chest, hair the same as you’d seen earlier. “Father?” he asked, eyes meeting his dad before yours. “Lando. Because of Oliver’s…death, you must now become the heir,” his father said simply as he sat down, with nothing short of messy elegance. 
He propped his feet onto the table, picking at the rings that adorned his long fingers. “Funny that. Melissa dead as well. Almost like we were made for each other,” Lando snorted, making eye contact as you flushed. Yes, you’d killed Melissa, well, ordered her to be, but who killed Ollie. “What if Y/N don’t wanna marry me? It’s up to her,” he added, winking subtly as you flushed. “I don’t mind,” you said, not meeting Lando’s eyes. 
“Would you kill to have this, Y/N?” he said, leaning forwards as you sat back. You didn’t answer, cheeks flushed even more red than they were before. “Then it’s settled. Lando Norris and Y/N Y/L/N will marry in one week,” you father clapped his hands. “I suppose we should allow them some time to get to know each other,” Lando’s mother walked in, nodding at your father once. She was a woman of remarkable character. 
“Nothing sexual,” your father frowned as you shrieked. “I don’t even know him,” you hissed, Lando standing up, somewhat oblivious to your words, as he strolled out the living room. You both walked silently out of the house, not a word exchanged as you reached the gates. After a minute or so, you arrived at a large meadow, the large trees towering over you as you walked between the hedge maze. 
“You killed Melissa, then?” Lando asked simply, hands behind his back as he walked down the path. “I…” you started, about to lie that you didn’t, but changed your mind, “it wasn’t me exactly, someone else did it. On my command,”. He acknowledged your reply with a simple hum, turning his head to glance at one of the rose bushes. And that’s when you saw it. 
A splatter of blood across his neck, not his own, definitely. Your eyes widened. Sure, you’d practically grown up in violence and murder, but to kill your own brother? For a girl you’d just met? Surely he couldn’t. “Everything alright, princess?” he turned to you, cocking his head slightly, a knowing smile on his face. You gulped, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t scared. 
Suddenly, your back collided with a tree, Lando’s arms on either side of your face, his lips inches from yours. “So what if I killed him, Y/N?” he growled, voice an octave deeper. You whimpered, trying to move away. “Behave. You killed Melissa,” he stated, “why shouldn’t I kill Oliver? He’s a disgusting excuse for a human,”. He was right. “Besides. Who wouldn’t kill for a pretty little thing like you?” he smirked, his right hand jumping to your waist. 
Fucking hell, he was hot, and he definitely knew it. “Lando,” you whispered, his lips close to yours. 
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tobiasdrake · 3 days
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Thinking about redemption yesterday got me thinking about fallen heroes today, and how rare it is to see a character initially painted as a hero be driven to heinousness for legitimate reasons.
Often times, if a hero goes bad, it's because of an external force corrupting their mind. Or it's a misunderstanding and they were secretly still good all along. Or they were just having a rough day and they'll be good again in five minutes.
We rarely see get to see heroes go sour purely on their own merits. Maybe because their values weren't so benign as they'd seemed when pushed to a natural conclusion. Maybe because they expected too much of themselves or of others. Or maybe personal experience taught them to believe something else.
Whatever the case, as often as writers will attempt to examine the transformative power of better angels, we rarely get to see the transformative power of worse devils.
Which brings me to....
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Sayaka Miki is a character that holds a special place in my heart, not for overcoming her flaws but for being consumed by them. She's a cautionary tale into the perils of righteousness.
I need to preface this by bringing up that the characters of Madoka Magica are children. They're irrational, judgmental, ignorant of risk, and quick to throw themselves into horrible mistakes with absolute confidence. Because they're children. That's how this works. The villain of the series is a psychological predator who feeds on the impulsivity and poor judgment of youth, grooming them into self-destruction.
The entire system of Magical Girls exists to give these children enough rope to hang themselves with and then to kick the ladder out from under them. That is the plot, with Sayaka being the primary means by which the show demonstrates the complete journey from rope to ladder.
I just. I need you to understand that even at her worst, Sayaka is a victim of predatory incentives and calculated coercions meant to cultivate her worst traits while stripping her of hopes and dreams. To drown her in mistakes she could never take back. She didn't have the life experience to know better. That's why her predator targets children.
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Sayaka's rope is woven from virtuous self-image. It's not immediately apparent when we meet her, but Sayaka's fatal flaw is ego. Her moral compass is wound extremely tight, and it's only later that we realize it's wound around her neck.
Like many children, Sayaka is trying on an identity moreso than expressing her inner self. She wants to be altruistic. She wants to be selfless. She wants to be a true hero. She wants to live by nothing more than high-minded ideals, expecting no reward for her efforts (but receiving it all the same).
She wants to be the kind of person that Mami was.
But she has no idea who Mami was. She wasn't there to see Mami fracture. To see her break down in vulnerability and express the isolating misery she lives in.
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Sayaka didn't see that. She only saw how cool Mami looked when she was killing Witches. So when she tries on an identity, she's specifically trying on the identity of Mami - blissfully unaware that her interpretation of Mami was nothing but a mask. She is emulating the behavior of a victim already consumed by the predatory incentives she's accepting.
Sayaka was doomed from the moment she made her wish.
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Once again, the show does a brilliant job of concealing this at first. Right off the bat, it's easy for Sayaka to be the hero. She saves both her BFFs Madoka and Hitomi from a Witch in her debut adventure, before being immediately thrust into a moral argument that's super easy for her to win.
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This is what a hero looks like! Should we stand by and let monsters eat people YES/NO
Sayaka says no. Sayaka says letting monsters eat people is bad. Solid Bioware-level moral dilemma she's got here. Sayaka won +10 Paragon points for the choices she picked out of this conversation tree, lemme tell you!
Moments like this work to disguise what's going on here with Sayaka. Obviously Sayaka's making good choices and doing the right thing when the alternative is Kyoko going "Want me to break your crush's limbs so he needs you for life support?" That's awful, so since Sayaka's against it then that means she must be right. Right?
Kyoko is the devil. Sayaka is the paragon.
But this is a story about nuanced and complex people. Sayaka isn't that person. Sayaka likes the idea of being that person. She's being dishonest - With herself, with others around her, and with the universe.
She's trying on an identity, not fully understanding who she really is or what her limitations are.
Incidentally, so is Kyoko, which is what makes their Yin and Yang dichotomy so potent. Having never been tested like this before, Sayaka is more selfish than she truly understands - While Kyoko, damaged by trauma, is more selfless than she wants to believe.
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The thing Sayaka doesn't quite grasp is that, to an extent, it's okay to be selfish. It's okay to want things for yourself. Again, the identity she's trying to live up to was a lie to begin with. She only saw the mask; Never the humanity underneath. So she fails to recognize her own humanity; Her own needs and wants and desires.
She imprisons her own mind in a cage of altruism.
Sayaka is warned multiple times against spending her wish on another person. But she doesn't understand the perils of it. She lacks the necessary perspective to grasp the level of sacrifice she's making. (Because she is a child. I cannot stress this point enough.)
When she makes her wish, Sayaka wants her sacrifice reciprocated. She wants to be rewarded. But she doesn't want to want that. She wants to be the selfless hero for Kyosuke. To silently grant him a miracle because it's the right thing to do for her friend. But she expects, without consciously thinking about it, that the universe will deliver her nice things because she is good.
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But life doesn't work like that. It doesn't give you things you aren't willing to reach for. Sayaka said she just wanted him to be happy. She just wanted to help people. She just wanted to dedicate her life to virtue and altruism, with no wants or needs or desires of her own.
Kyoko was being cruel and unfeeling when she suggested crippling Kyosuke; She was trying to express a mask of selfishness, the same way Sayaka's been trying to express a mask of selflessness. But she wasn't the only person telling Sayaka that it was a mistake to do this. She's just the only person who said it after the fact.
So the universe calls her bluff. While Sayaka waits for her sacrifices to be rewarded, fracturing more and more from learning what those sacrifices truly entail, someone else claims her prize. The work gets harder, not just physically but emotionally. And she only gets what she asked for. Nothing more.
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This is what a hero looks like. She wanted to be Mami.
Remind me. What was Mami's reward for her sacrifices?
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Oh. Yeah. That's right.
The thing of it is, there is a reward for a Magical Girl's sacrifices. There is a prize you're meant to receive for the unjust hardships and self-destruction that you're volunteering to undertake.
It's the fucking wish.
That she, in her righteousness, gave away.
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Sayaka's rope is woven from virtuous self-image. Her fatal flaw is ego. She was undone by arrogance expressed in ignorance, not of glory the way we often think of egotistic people, but of righteousness. She held herself to a standard no reasonable person could ever live up to, and it crushed her as it came crashing down.
And yet, she was a victim all the same. Because she was walked, hand-in-hand, to that pier by a predator. Children are meant to learn from their mistakes. Not to die for them.
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jamiesshelves · 1 day
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Parts of TSC I can't stop thinking about (after my first read)
Jean having a few minutes before Riko got to him and using it to text Renee a warning. NOT asking her to help him. But warning her. Probably to protect Kevin and Neil more than himself.
Jean viewing himself as a captive with Wymack and Abby
Jean calling Neil Nathaniel until that sudden switch (just like when Neil thought of himself as Nathaniel)
Jean being the same age as Neil, so one of the youngest characters we know
Jean worshipping Thea and her calling him Paris
Jean throwing out Andrew's candy
Jean roasting Aaron for being unimportant even with a murder investigation going on
Renee giving Jean forehead kisses
"Right person, wrong time"
Jean taking Renee's picture and it being the only picture he has
The way the world perceives Riko as a martyr after his death
The way the world brushes aside that he almost killed Neil on live TV
"The only one close enough was andrew"
Jean reaching towards the TV as if he could save Neil and wanting him and Andrew to run
Jeremy being brunette through the events of TFC
The Trojans being okay with their plan for the foxes game because they knew they'd lose to the ravens eventually anyway
Jeremy living at home and having an estranged family situation
Jeremy having a butler he loves and trusts more than his family
BarkBark
Jean's promise to Kevin
Jean calling Kevin a "beautiful boy"
Both Jean and Jeremy trusting Kevin whole heartedly
Kevin giving truths about the nest to Jeremy
Kevin admitting to sticking to Andrew like glue because he didn't know how to be by himself after the nest
The coaches concern as they realize the way raven coaches treated Jean
The rumors about Jean and that Neil never thought of them
Jean being confirmed a bi king and simping over everyone except canon beautiful Neil
Jean probably not simping after Neil because he's the partner that could've been, aka a brother/safe space he never got
Jean not realizing why top surgery scars, and his abuse scars, would be seen differently
Jean not understanding why Trojans can pick their own clothes, food, majors, etc
Andrew letting Neil go to the FBI in California without him because he trusts his runaway to come back
Neil's immediate response to hearing about Greyson is hiring a hitman
Neil sassing the FBI
"I guess Drake wasn't a biter"
Neil telling Jean he can lock his door if it makes him feel safe but he doesn't have to worry anymore
Cat wanting to teach Jean to ride a motorcycle
"Kevin has earned the right to be"
Jean being afraid to ever teach anyone French again
Jeremy hiding from the police
Elodie
"That's putting it mildly." WHAT THE FUCK STUART.
Jean's list.
Jean still texting Renee
The reason the Trojans stay so positive
"I'm not safe with you anymore"
The parallels between Jean and Neil
Jean thinking he never got anything he didn't deserve
Jean only having a carry on bag like Neil
Wymack giving Jean money and his note
The Trojans giving Jean forehead kisses
Jeremy being into Jean but wanting to allow Jean to be able to heal first
Honestly more but this is enough for now lol
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ariesinterlude · 1 day
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🪼 — MY SECRET PLACE WITH MY S/O! : [ part two ] the other post, if you wanna read it is linked here
[ also ] if you’re one of those shifters who hate people talking about their significant others then pls scroll! God bless!
# — the house would be somewhere in a quiet forest where it’d just be us two, it’d probably rain a lot which is totally okay because i don’t mind cloudy or rainy weather it honestly calms me.
# — there would be a small town like 25-30 minutes away from our calm house so if we ever needed any food or anything we wouldn’t have to grow our own crops im sorry but i’m not down for killing chickens i can’t do it..
# — there would be unlimited wifi or data so we wouldn’t be bored or without internet though i wouldn’t mind being without those things bc tbh phones & television are toxic sometimes but what would i do? read??? that gets boring anywho.
# — our friends and family would live in the small town [ i assume ] if not then we’d go to see them im sure that wouldn’t be a problem for either one of us [ also anyone else kinda scared to meet your s/o’s family? just me? okay cool. ]
# — forest walks? probably not far from the house cause i have a horrible sense of direction and we’re both pretty clumsy so i don’t want us to hurt ourselves lmao.
#— with that being said.. it was be very calm and just a way to keep things very quiet for a change because in my kpop reality it’s very hectic and i’m a little nervous that time will catch up with us.. if you get me.
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restinslices · 2 days
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hiii hope you're having a good day<3
i wanted ask for some Lin Kuei trio angst? like between the brothers? you can choose how to with the plot, im just really craving angst rn and would love if you could write it IF you're okay with it of course. thank you! (love your writing btw it's heavenly 😭🙏🏻)
I made a post a hot minute ago that was “LKBS X Enemy Reader MK1 Intros” and the plot was that the reader betrayed them and killed the other two brothers. So when you asked for angst, my initial thought was “huh… how would they react to their deaths?”. The reader is still like the Dimitrescu sisters because I’m unoriginal.
Doing Bi-Han this time around BUT if you'd like me to do this from Kuai Liang and/or Tomas’ POV (different scenario. Whoever's POV it's from is the one watching the others die) feel free to ask. Word count is 2964
Also we back in the gif era.
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If you were to ask Bi-Han what the most powerful drug was, he'd say it was regret. 
“Regret isn't a drug” one would say. “You're wrong” is what he would say back. 
Regret was just as strong as any street drug, maybe even stronger. You only needed a whiff of regret, before it consumed your whole life and you started to regret small things that didn't even matter. Regret took a hold of someone and choked them until the air was forcefully pounded out of their lungs and until their skin turned cold. That's how Bi-Han felt at least. Like he couldn't breathe. Like his skin was colder than usual. Like he walked through his days but never actually lived. Like he was a dead man walking. 
The ice dagger cut into Kuai Liang’s skin so deep, it created a scar that ran up his face and over his eye. 
A warning. 
That's all Bi-Han wanted it to be. 
Kuai Liang couldn't possibly understand the stress Bi-Han was under as the Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, nor could Tomas, and Bi-Han wouldn't wish such a fate on either of them even if he could. Only Bi-Han knew how it felt to be the leader of the most powerful clan, yet being forced to remain idle. The Lin Kuei were meant for more than this, how was it that Bi-Han was the only one that saw this?!
“End this brother!”, he commanded. “Embrace the future!”. His word was supposed to be law! He wanted Kuai Liang to end this meaningless fight and stand by his side like he always did. 
Kuai Liang stayed defiant and refused. Fine. Kuai Liang was just in shock. Bi-Han would defeat him and Tomas in combat, and when they awoke they'd listen to him and this entire fight could be forgotten. Just a quarrel between brothers. 
Bi-Han felt something on his shoulder and swatted at it. 
Just a fly. Whatever. 
Then there was another. And another. And soon, before Kuai Liang and Bi-Han could even begin their fight, a wave of flies flew towards them and knocked all three of them off of their feet. 
Bi-Han tried to gather himself when suddenly he felt the tug of someone pulling him up to his feet. Soft familiar hands that he held almost daily, and slid a ring upon years ago. He knew of your… condition. He just didn't know you had been following him. 
“To your feet Bi-Han” you chastised, which was unusual to hear from your lips, which usually spoke words in a soft and loving tone, even to your enemies. “I didn't knock you down as hard as I did them”. 
Your fingers caressed his arm as your lips slowly went up his neck and to his ear. Under any other circumstance, he would've took you right then and there, but none of it felt right. Besides it clearly being a terrible time to think about sex, something in his gut told him that something was wrong. 
He ignored it and that became one of his many regrets. 
“Well done Bi-Han” you spoke quietly into his ear. “Now kill them”. 
What? He must've heard wrong or maybe that was one of his own intrusive thoughts. Surely you wouldn't say something like that. Your relationship to his brothers was so strong, sometimes he shamefully became jealous. They say when you marry someone, you also marry into the family and you seemed to take that to heart. You wouldn't say kill them. He just hit his head too hard. 
“What?” he asked, hoping you'd say something like “I didn't say anything. Are you ok?”, but you didn't. 
“Kill them” you repeated. 
Now he knew he wasn't making this up. He turned to face you and pushed you away from him, and based on how your face bunched up for a second, you weren't pleased. 
“They hit their heads hard Bi-Han. They'll wake soon but for now, they're out. Kill them and end this. Do you think Kuai Liang would've spared your life?”. 
Yes. 
Kuai Liang could've killed him inside, but instead he just knocked him down and even now, Bi-Han had no doubt in his heart that although he was angry, he wouldn't kill him. Bi-Han didn't want to kill Kuai Liang either. He could've stabbed his brother in a vital place but no. He just gave him a scar. Maybe they were both fools trying to hold onto hope for the other. If that was the case, Bi-Han would gladly become a Queen's jester to show how much of a fool he was if it meant holding onto him. And although he wasn't the fondest of Tomas, he was still a good ally (even if he wouldn't say it out loud). 
“I'll imprison them until they come to their senses. I won't kill my brothers”
You scoffed, “you call Tomas your brother when he's passed out and can't hear you?”. He didn't understand your annoyance at the time. In his gut, something was screaming at him “take them out! This was all a trick and you fell for it! Redeem your name and take them out!”.  But that couldn't be true. You, the love of his life, couldn't be some master manipulator that planned for this. 
Bi-Han looked back everyday and wondered why he couldn't just listen to his gut. 
Your fingers no longer felt soft as they touched his face. They just felt cold. 
“My love” you said in your typical soft tone, “imprisonment won't work on them. You are the Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei and these two are traitors. They'll escape your prison and they'll make it their mission to take you down. You don't want that”. 
You were right. He didn't want that. 
But he didn't wanna kill them either. 
He looked over at their bodies, still laid on the hard ground and he hoped that something inside him would spark and killing them could suddenly feel easy. 
It never did though and you seemed to sense it. 
You made him look at you and even though he desperately wanted to feel comforted by you, your eyes seemed so distant and loveless. A flick had switched and he had no idea how or why. 
“You don't need them. Tomas is a false Lin Kuei, taken in due to pity. Kuai Liang can't face the truth about your father. Neither of them will ever understand you like I do. You only need me and your clan. Together… together we can be unstoppable. You just have to do this final thing”. 
He looked back over at them. 
“Do it Bi-Han” he coached himself, “Just do it. You let your father die. Why is this any different?”
His father was a grown man too far gone to see vision. Tomas and Kuai Liang just needed to listen to reason. 
“No” he said firmly.
The anger that he saw flash earlier set on your face, and this time you didn't feel the need to fix your expression. 
“No?”
“No”
He could see that infuriated you. 
“I've grown somewhat attached to you, so for your sake…” he could hear movement behind him, “I'll make it quick”. 
Bi-Han realized what was happening all too late. 
Your body broke down into thousands of flies and knocked Bi-Han onto his back. He looked over just in time to see Tomas just getting to his feet when your flies flew into his body, going straight through his chest and bringing him into the air as screams of agony filled the space. Just as quickly as it began, it ended and Tomas’ body fell down onto the concrete, his bones audibly cracking. 
The two brothers jumped to their feet and stood back to back. Bi-Han could practically hear his own heartbeat in his ears, but besides that he heard his brother's attempts to slow his own breathing. As his older brother he wanted to tell him it'd all be ok, even if his own heart was racing. 
“I didn't want this!” he said to both you and his brother. He wasn't sure if they'd make it, and if they didn't, he didn't want them to die with this false idea that he planned this all. 
You didn't care. 
Flies swarmed around him and Kuai Liang, the force of it ripping pieces of their skin and buzzing filling his ears. The two used their powers at the same time, Bi-Han freezing the flies on his side and Kuai Liang burning his. 
The buzzing stopped finally. 
His heart continued thumping hard in his chest and his injuries started to burn, making him wince. 
“You knew nothing of this?” Kuai Liang asked after some time had passed. They both had been standing there in silence, trying to avoid talking about the obvious and looking at the corpse. 
“No” he answered as he finally looked at his younger brother. “I didn't know this would happen”
“How didn't you know? What did you think would happen?” Kuai Liang said accusatorially. What did he think would happen? Anything but that. 
“I thought you'd listen to reason! The Lin Kuei have been idle for too long and waiting at Liu Kang's feet like dogs!” 
Kuai Liang went to say something but he was interrupted by something Bi-Han couldn't see. His hand gripped at his chest and his breathing became heavier. 
“Kuai Liang?” Bi-Han asked, his voice filled with worry. Kuai Liang started to look sick and he couldn't figure out why. 
Then Bi-Han saw something that continued to haunt his nightmares. An imagine he saw whenever he closed his eyes. What he imagined he'd see if he was put in his own personal hell. 
He heard the buzzing again and Kuai Liang’s blood splattered all over him as you burst from his body. 
You tsked. “Those pesky cuts”, a fly flew out one of Bi-Han’s cuts and found its way to your body, blending in with your skin. “Anything can get in them”. 
You looked so pleased and satisfied, like you hadn't done something absolutely horrific. Why?! Why would you do that?! How could you do something so monstrous?! Bi-Han was no saint, but what you did to Kuai Liang and Tomas… it was torture. 
“Don’t look at me like that Bi-Han. You were just too easy” he wasn't sure if your voice was full of sympathy or pity. There's a difference but it hardly mattered. “I'll be in touch”. 
He wanted to kill you. He wanted to rip you apart slowly and have your screams fill his ears, and for your blood to soak his hands, but you were gone just as fast as you were there. 
His younger brother's blood stuck to him and soaked through his uniform when he dropped to his knees. He wanted to grab at Kuai Liang and shake him awake, like he was just napping, but there was nothing to grab. There were only bits and pieces of flesh and organs that he couldn’t quite place sprawled out across the ground. 
“Gēgē! Look what I found!” Kuai Liang called as he ran towards Bi-Han with his hands cupped like he was holding water. Bi-Han finally saw what got his younger brother so excited when he got close enough; a little ladybug. 
“I told him to leave it alone” Tomas said in a huff. They were children and there was a good chance Tomas and Kuai Liang were playing around before the ladybug was spotted. That, or Kuai Liang made Tomas chase him for a bit before he ran to Bi-Han. 
“Ladybugs are good luck, right? Maybe it'll grant us a wish!”. Kuai Liang was so small, with cheeks plump and red and a smile wide and full of mischief. Kuai Liang calmed down when he got older, but as a child, he was always in something he shouldn't have been. His long hair was dirty more days than it wasn't. Proof of how hard he played during the day. He was banned from ever wearing the color white because of how dirty he got. 
“A ladybug can't grant you a wish” Bi-Han said dismissively. He was the exact opposite of his brother, and tired quickly. Tomas with all his bottled up energy (even if a lot of it was nervous energy) could keep up with him just fine. 
The wind blew and it must've carried a few critters, because a fly landed on Bi-Han’s shoulder. He swatted at it and Kuai Liang snickered, 
“I like my ladybug way more than your fly”
“Yeah?” The older boy asked with a raised brow. He grabbed the dead fly and without warning, he ran towards the two. To all their credit, the two were extremely fast and managed to stay together and on their feet. If Tomas hadn't looked behind him, and if there hadn't been an exposed tree root, he wouldn't have fell down. 
Tomas sniffed and Bi-Han knew he had to start doing his older brother duties. 
“Let me see” he tossed the fly to the side and knelt in front of Tomas. The boy turned, revealing two knees covered in cuts and blood and when Bi-Han looked at his face, his eyes were red but he did not cry. That was typical for Tomas. He always tried to act tougher than he was. 
“I didn't fall because I had my ladybug! See!”. Bi-Han rolled his eyes and took Tomas into his arms, 
“Yeah I see”. 
Tomas grumbled the entire time. Whatever pain he felt in his knees was nothing compared to the pain he felt to his pride. His grumbling only stopped after Bi-Han and Kuai Liang’s mother patched up his knees, but it seemed that now it was the oldest boy's turn to grumble. 
“Bi-Han” her voice reminded him of how beautiful pouring honey looked. She sat beside him on the floor and move strands of his hair out of his face. “You're slouching”. 
He fixed his posture and apologized quietly, instead of his typical response “no I'm not!”. 
Her fingers delicately touched his chin and moved his face to look at her, “what's wrong my sweet boy?”. 
“It's stupid”
“Nonsense. Whatever you feel is valid”. 
He looked over at his brothers, the ladybug incident long behind them based on their laughs. Tomas was laying on the couch with his knees still bandaged while Kuai Liang did an overdramatic replay of his fall. 
“I could've stopped him from falling. I should have”. 
“Kids fall all the time Bi-Han. It's ok”
“But I caused his fall. If I hadn't been chasing them with that stupid fly, no one would've been hurt. You and father tell me to be responsible as the oldest and as the soon to be Grandmaster, but that wasn't responsible at all”. Bi-Han debated how good of a Grandmaster he'd be everyday. It wasn't a small thing like “hey here's the car!”. He'd be in charge of a group of people. The clan's flaws would reveal his flaws, they'd look to him for guidance, he'd have to have this strong persona all the time and could never complain. Sure, he didn't agree with everything his father did, but he carried the weight effortlessly. He wasn't sure how he'd do that. 
“You're an interesting person Bi-Han. One moment you're upset about Tomas joining us, and the next you're caring about his injuries”. He knew she was trying to joke, but he wasn't in a laughing mood, so he didn't respond. 
“My sweet boy”, her hand caressed his face, “a good Grandmaster can try and prevent falls as much as he likes. A great Grandmaster knows how to be there for his people when those falls happen. Don't sulk. Join your brothers and laugh with them”. 
“What if I mess up in the future? Badly?”. A sympathetic smile spread across her face. 
“Everyone messes up. But there's nothing you can do that can't be fixed. As long as you're with your brothers, someone will always be there to pick one of you up when you fall. Just stay close to each other”. 
Laughter erupted from where his brothers were, and he looked back over at them. 
“You looked just like that when you fell!” Kuai Liang waved Bi-Han over, “come on gēgē!”. 
Regret is a sickening drug that clings to you like glue. The force of it squeezes you until the air is knocked out of your lungs and until you fall limp in its clutches. Bi-Han isn't sure how long he stayed knelt on the ground and covered in blood, but it was long enough for him to be found by Liu Kang and thrown into imprisonment. 
And as he sat there in his makeshift cell, out the corner of his eye he saw a ladybug crawling through the cracks. He couldn't help but let out a laugh. The laugh was joyless and full of nothing but sorrow. It was one of those laughs that quickly turned into tears and small sobs. The kind of laugh you let out when you lost everything and when you felt like a fool. 
The war for timelines raged on around him, yet somehow through the noise he heard the familiar buzz of flies approaching. 
He hoped that this timeline was destroyed and that somehow he was reunited with his family and they found it in their hearts to forgive him. 
He hoped in the other timelines he made better choices and either got his goal without bloodshed, or completely abandoned it. Anything but what happened. 
Such a pity hope was as useless as pouring water into a river. 
Such a pity he’d live with his regret for years to come.
Lowkey I didn’t have to add the reader betrayal part and it could’ve focused on the actual kanon but dead brothers is fun so ya know-
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quotidian-oblivion · 3 days
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For the Merlin asks
8, 11, 13!
Heyoo!!!
8. One off character you wish had a bigger part.
11. Random Knights Headcanon.
13. Random Servant Headcanon.
~
8:
Freya. She's not exactly one-off but I so so desperately wish she played a bigger part.
Because, c'mon. SHE'S THE DAMN LADY OF THE LAKE.
Magic beautiful water cat woman who guards the gates to death.
She deserves more than just being a mysterious hand who held and caught a sword. And Merlin deserved to have a secret water wife (i also love Freylin <33). Just think of the many possibilities and plots that could have happened. Just- just imagine. This is why i'm depressed.
11:
I told this to @tireddruid in conversation once and put it in one of my fics too, but I believe that after the Lamia incident, Gwaine woke up in the middle of the night after being recovered from what the Lamia did to him and then realized what he had done to Merlin. So he immediately went to Merlin's hut in the village they were staying in and just. starting crying. Silently and hard, beside Merlin's bed, full of remorse because damn it Gwaine's whole concept was that nobility came from the heart, not by blood. And what he did under the Lamia's spell wasn't noble at all.
Besides that, Merlin was his friend. The first person who took him to his home - gave up his own bed - to look after him while he was heavily drunk and barely capable of standing without support and didn't resent or rob him after that. Merlin was kind, caring, loyal and never - never - deserving of that kind of treatment or close to it. He was his first friend. He was why he became a knight. He was why Gwaine risked his neck to protect a noble and a royal. He was why Gwaine enteres the lands of hell. He was why Gwaine jumped into a battle against an undead army. Simply because Merlin asked. Simply because Merlin cared for him without cost when no one else did and wanted him to stay.
Who would want to lose a treasure of a friend like that?
Merlin then woke up 30 minutes later to find the crying mess of a knight and immediately knew that whatever doubts he had been having about the knights since the Lamia was untrue and Gwaine (and later the others too) would never willingly hold him in that regard. They fortunately didn't harm him too much, and it would take a while for Merlin to not flinch every time any of the knights made sudden movements towards him, but he would recover. And he would remember, just why he decided to befriend them.
13:
Agh. I thought about this one. And I don't particularly think much about characters beyond the main ones unless they relate to a plot of mine.
But one thing I assumed (but the show never confirmed) is that Merlin is quite popular among the servants.
I mean, does anyone remember Tyr Stewart? The guy evil!Gwen killed? He was outright threatened with death and his mother too, the poor man was traumatized and scared and anxious. Yet, he opened up to Merlin after some coaxing.
I don't think just anyone would open up to a random stranger, even in a higher power with the potential to end your life (cuz Merlin is tge manservant to the king), and trust them with information regarding yours and your loved one's lives. But he did with Merlin.
And this just proves to me that Merlin is in fact quite popular and friendly with the servants and patients and other commoners. The cook hates him, hey, but none of the other servants snitched on him when he snagged a pastry or dumpling or two. Especially not after Merlin sneaked them a piece ;)
~
Thank you so much for the asksssssss! I had loads of fun thinking them up :D
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iwanthermidnightz · 15 hours
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*excerpts below — but I highly recommend reading the full article in link above*
Hit Me Hard and Soft dunks us headfirst back into that universe, from the deepest wallows of depression to the exhaustion that comes with the world speculating about her every move. There are no arachnids where they shouldn’t be, but getting in touch with her darker side has Eilish finally feeling like herself again. “I feel like this album is me,” she says. “It’s not a character. It feels like the When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? version of me. It feels like my youth and who I was as a kid.”
Although 2019 felt like a whirlwind of madness at the time, she has found herself missing it. “It was the best time of my life,” she says. “This whole process has felt like I’m coming back to the girl that I was. I’ve been grieving her. I’ve been looking for her in everything, and it’s almost like she got drowned by the world and the media. I don’t remember when she went away.”
The title Hit Me Hard and Soft derives from a conversation she had with Finneas, when she mistakenly thought the name of a synth in Logic Pro was called Hit Me Hard and Soft. “I thought it was such a perfect encapsulation of what this album does,” she explains. “It’s an impossible request: You can’t be hit hard and soft. You can’t do anything hard and soft at the same time. I’m a pretty extremist person, and I really like when things are really intense physically, but I also love when things are very tender and sweet. I want two things at once. So I thought that was a really good way to describe me, and I love that it’s not possible.”
Eilish and Finneas call Hit Me Hard and Soft “an album-ass album.” It’s not a concept record, but it is a self-consciously cohesive set of songs, inspired by auteurist works from the past 15 years or so, like Coldplay’s Viva La Vida, Lana Del Rey’s Born to Die, Tyler, the Creator’s Goblin, Marina and the Diamonds’ Electra Heart, and Vince Staples’ Big Fish Theory.
“Lunch,” a complete 180 in both sound and subject content. It’s a sexy, bass-heavy banger where Eilish is crushing on a girl so hard she likens sex with her to devouring a meal. Finneas remembers playing this moment for Interscope and witnessing the team shift in their seats. “What’s funny about starting the album with [the opener] is that it is a total false promise,” he says. “If you’re remembering ‘What Was I Made For?’ and then you hear [it], you go, ‘Oh, OK. I understand this world.’ Then the drums come in [on “Lunch”], and it really is the kill-the-main-character-type beat. It’s like Drew Barrymore being in the first five minutes of Scream and then they kill her. You’re like, ‘They can’t kill Drew. Oh, my God, they killed Drew!’”
Eilish and I spend a lot of time talking about the new era she is about to kick off, and how she’ll promote Hit Me Hard and Soft while prioritizing her mental health, privacy, and well-being. With all of that in mind, I wonder if she’s ready for journalists to pepper her with questions about the album’s subject matter, particularly the sexual nature of “Lunch.” “That song was actually part of what helped me become who I am, to be real,” Eilish says. “I wrote some of it before even doing anything with a girl, and then wrote the rest after. I’ve been in love with girls for my whole life, but I just didn’t understand — until, last year, I realized I wanted my face in a vagina. I was never planning on talking about my sexuality ever, in a million years. It’s really frustrating to me that it came up.”
Eilish is referring to her interview with Variety last fall, in which she mentioned she was attracted to women. The quote — “I’m attracted to them for real” — became a national headline. The following month, Eilish attended Variety’s Hitmakers event in L.A. While on the red carpet, she was asked if she intentionally came out in the story. “No, I didn’t,” she told them. “But I kind of thought, ‘Wasn’t it obvious?’” Eilish then posted about it on Instagram, with a caption that read, “Thanks Variety for my award and for also outing me on a red carpet at 11 a.m. instead of talking about anything else that matters. I like boys and girls leave me alone about it please literally who cares.”
Looking back, Eilish admits she overreacted with the Instagram post. “Who fucking cares?” she says. “The whole world suddenly decided who I was, and I didn’t get to say anything or control any of it. Nobody should be pressured into being one thing or the other, and I think that there’s a lot of wanting labels all over the place. Dude, I’ve known people that don’t know their sexuality, or feel comfortable with it, until they’re in their forties, fifties, sixties. It takes a while to find yourself, and I think it’s really unfair, the way that the internet bullies you into talking about who you are and what you are.”
As for that red-carpet quote that made all the headlines, Eilish says she tried to think of a response that would be entertaining for her fans and the internet. “I went into Billie Eilish interview mode, [like], ‘Oh, I don’t care. Yeah, I’ll say whatever. Wasn’t it obvious?’” she says. “And then afterwards I was like, ‘Wait. It wasn’t obvious to me.’”
Thinking about it now, she draws a bigger lesson from that moment. “I know everybody’s been thinking this about me for years and years, but I’m only figuring out myself now,” she says. “And honestly, what I said was funny, because I really was just saying what they’ve all been saying.” She adds that she liked the journalist she was talking to and didn’t want to be rude. But she still felt exploited. “Bro, I have asthma out here,” she says. “I fucking can’t take a breath.”
If Eilish had the opportunity to do it over again on the red carpet, she says, she wouldn’t have answered the question. But she acknowledges it could have been worse. “I’m lucky enough to be in a time when I’m able to say something like that and things go OK for me,” she says. “And that’s not how a lot of people’s experience is.”
Eilish has officially decided to make some changes to the way she presents herself to the world. “This album, to me, feels like a way to restart, in terms of my sharing,” she says. So let’s take a second to reintroduce Billie Eilish, the home-schooled bohemian who captured our attention as a teenager. She’s 22 now, yet she’s more self-aware than people twice her age. She would like some space to grow, to figure out exactly who she is — no label required. She is not the poster child for anything. And she is not, she’d like to note, a TED Talk speaker. So where does that leave us? Eilish sums things up with four simple words that point to her desire for normalcy and acceptance.
“I’m just a girl.”
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natjennie · 1 year
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watching the flashback scenes in redding weddy caressing my screen while a single silent tear falls, like a mourning army wife in the 40s with a locket. which is appropriate given the subject matter.
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tricoufamily · 10 months
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those playdough ass sims aren't gonna fit in with that beautiful beautiful lighting let's get a move on i wanna see some realistic skin folds (MODELED not a flat texture) and blemishes and subsurface scattering i want that-specific-breed-of-maxis-match-tiktoker-you-know-the-ones tears
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scopophobia-polaris · 10 months
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about to be annoying but id love to hear about your au sksw link and zelda and all of that.. ik they arent at all in the comic but i enjoy hearing about how you portray characters its fun!
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Terrible news Sky Link and Zelda aren't that fleshed out tbh.....I don't have much for them and I wouldn't know what to say that's like....interesting.
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the-acid-pear · 5 months
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I'm hitting rock bottom <- dude whose belly aches so fucking much because he ate pork.
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whimsyprinx · 1 year
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my desire to make more dnd characters vs the fact that I’m in no campaigns and don’t know when or if I’ll be in a campaign are fighting
#whimsy whispers#I was in the one campaign that I left and like#I am particular about people in that I don’t like people so if I were to play in a campaign ideally it would be with people I know and like#because i also do not feel all that comfortable playing with strangers#I have a few irls who play or want to but they’re in too many campaigns or are people I don’t want to play with#example being: my roommate kane plays dnd but has several campaigns they’re in#their dad them their sister me and my irl have played dnd together before (very loosely calling it dnd)#I would not play with that group of people again namely their dad who dmed#the only person from that group who had any dnd experience was kane#their dad was just A Lot and went out of his way to hurt and torture out characters and I didn’t vibe with that like please we don’t have to#get hurt to the point of newr death every four minutes just kill me#all the friends I have who play dnd also have far too many campaigns they’re in rn or just don’t live where I do and don’t prefer online#campaigns and I’ve been invited to play one campaign by a mutual and I’ve been added to the server (hi if you see this 💖)#I just am ;-; about new people and playing with new people#the first legit campaign I played was with people I did not know and while I’m friends with them now (though rsd says otherwise) I was very#like uncomfortable and uncertain of if I was playing properly or annoying them and tbh I stayed that way up until I left the campaign for#realsies#uhhh anyways I like dnd a lot it’s very fun and I miss playing it and like making dnd characters#but I have too many also#and I’m not creative enough to make them normal ocs I can hardly do anything with my actual original characters and stories I can’t just#make up a whole new story for the characters and I don’t do well at repurposing characters either
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lilgynt · 8 months
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i was talking to my mom about my job sucking and she kept pushing like well every job sucks. and kept pushing like girl if it all sucks the same why are you leaving urs
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mrfoox · 10 months
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Uh. Like month... 4... Without an big breakdown and im 😳 what.... Wha
#miranda talking shit#I always say this but holy shit what the fuck i didnt think medication could have so much impact#I thought be being numb would be the best case. But here i am like 👍 life's not so bleak. I have loved ones. There's more for me to see#Like what the fuck.... Ive been sucidal since i was 11... I thought that would just be permanent for me... That it would kill me one day#But here i am just.... Like...living?#I mean im still not living life to the fullest mainly bc im still not used to just ... Be and not feel like garbage#I still have many problems and inner battles but they don't .... Send me into the abyss or worse#Anti medication people can probably argue if im ACTUALLY happy or just high of my meds or something but i...#I just feel like myself but ...kinda like when you put on glasses after being without them for a while#You see things clearer again and you had forgotten that your eyes were bad#I see the same things who would make me smile for 1 second. Now i see them and they make me smile for half a minute or more#I feel i think a lot more and notice smaller things. Smaller delights. A little cute bug flying by. An pretty flower outside. Someone#Laughing with their friend. A child playing outside. They all make me happy now and i just ... Yeah.#I am not the most positive person alive or am super happy all the time... But having actual ... Normal days#Actually be just... Just fine. Not 'i have managed to not cry and kept my mental health in check somewhat etc' but actually just#Things are fine. On an scale more in tune with others version if fine. Im used to my okay days just being like... Oh i was awake today#I ate a meal today. I didn't cry. But i still had my usual bad mental space but it was fine bc it was a bit more manageable#That was a fine day. Now I'm like... Id describe my days now as great days. I usually have one or two of these days#Per year ... Now i have them like daily... Theyre just fine. It blows my mind...#Ive always been positive to medication despite not finding one that helped me as much as i... Wanted. But now it's like#Holy shit yeah. Wish i found this medicine at age 15 when i started and not 10 years later but man im glad i finally found it#So glad i decided not to just settle with the one i had. When i brought up i wanted to try new medication again#Doctors were like what... But why? And it's like.... Yeah that one i had was.... The best i had found at the time and i had kept it for 3#Years. But it did only help me to stabilize some. I still felt like garbage... And explaining that to a doctor is like... Idk how to do that#Like id say my old medication helped 25% i know it helped mostly with my general anxiety. But it wasn't like to a point i felt#It was a GOOD medication for me. Just ... It was the best i had tried so... It was fine...
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