#'all the other cats around here are giants therefore i must mark at giant-level'

[mirekat]

The cat has started meowing for her post-breakfast shoulder rides with the exact same pitch and intensity as she meows for her breakfast. I am very flattered.

#she also only scent-marks doorframes anymore when i'm carrying her around #like #'all the other cats around here are giants therefore i must mark at giant-level' #cat is a people #catblogging

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E58

In which we learn that shopping episodes are not necessarily shipping episodes. A lean week, but one that allows time for feelings to percolate, perhaps? Masterpost here

+1000 to Yasha/Caffeine as Caduceus’ experiments with brews finally pay off and pull Yasha from her somnambulatory state and into alertness. She is so impressed by the power of his tea that she goes looking for tea leaves in all of the shops. We don’t want to lose her again to a sleep attack, after all.

-2 to Fjord/Caleb. Positives: Caleb defending Fjord from his murder cat, pointing out the “very special manacles” in his bag and that alone when Fjord asks him about items—manacles which, might I add, Fjord has been avidly collecting throughout the campaign—and which effectively shuts down Fjord asking Caleb anything else for the next forever. Asking Fjord to please do the introductions to the miners, supportive intimidating pissing. Negatives: Fjord all “lawl what if we just left Caleb to wander the city alone wouldn’t that be funny” no you absolute asshole.

+1 to Jester/Caleb with a +1 carryover wink from the day previous. A perfect balance of point gains and losses from this point on, with Caleb immediately giving Jester a truly obscene amount of money for diamonds (but it’s for the group, he says, preventing point gains), losing points by giving away all of Jester’s precious pets to keep Yeza happy, but making up for it by gracing her with a purring Frumpkin to adore in their absence, and accidentally mumbling something that sounded a little like “yeah” when Jester asked to keep Frumpkin forever. Jester must know the cat comes with the wizard, though—if she’s going to keep Frumpkin, Caleb will have to be part of that package.

+12 to Jester/Fjord which may have been more, were it not for Jester merely earning what we in the lab call A Point For Trying as she put her foot in her mouth not once, not twice, but somewhere around fifteen different times during the truly horrific conversation at the blacksmith’s, funneling all the rest of her points from the first half of the episode into +20 to Jester/Fjoot in Mouth. However, the pair make up some excellent ground with jellyfish references, switcheroos in riding placement on Yarnball, picking the same infiltration team, much mention of Fjord’s handsomeness and smartness, and “Captain” and “Lieutenant” roleplay which makes Jester the most highly ranked so far of Fjord’s beloved “you work for me” roleplays (it always starts out high…) Nearly earned points with Jester interrogating Yarnball on her tracking ability in response to Fjord’s question, but she was cockblocked by Caduceus Clay and his ability to actually speak with animals, earning the firbolg fond looks from Fjord and +10 to Caduceus/Cat Shaped Creatures

+8 to Caduceus/Fjord. The current theory circulating in the lab is that Caduceus Clay and Jester Lavorre share similar taste in near everything—jewels, armor, tattoos, dresses, and, tragically, men. Which means they must vie for the same romantic interests for perpetuity. Here we have a Caduceus who manages not to put his foot in his mouth (Jester looks to him for help! A bad sign for her), who very effectively talks up how Fjord saved his life on multiple occasions, and marvels at the “layers” he’s discovering Fjord has. Like an onion. Cooking with onions is great, onions are delicious. Therefore Fjord is…..? Anyway, Caduceus also very keenly and insistently “Captain”ing at the man throughout the episode, happily deferring as he makes excellent suggestions on how to proceed with the Giant-Killing-Job, and effusively complimenting Fjord alongside Jester on his intimidation prowess. But no amount of subtlety or cockblocking is going to keep up with the Sheer Baldfaced Panache of Jester’s flirting style—at least not for the moment. Fjord, for his part, contributing a point by steering Caduceus away from random pottery shops and towards a blacksmith like the exasperated husband he is.

+6 to Caduceus/Caleb as Mr. Impatient Wizard Man smears his beard with magic bean paste while Caduceus frantically looks through his bag for something resembling lather. “Never mind, that’s beautiful,” Caduceus says, seeing this. Caduceus wanting to know if he thinks Caleb actually needs a shave, because like the rest of us he is probably attached to a certain level of Caleb Scruff. Keeping a Cure Wounds at the ready for when Yasha inevitably stabs Caleb in the face, but Bleeding Impatient Wizard Man slips away from him before he can use it! Caduceus’ inordinate faith in how of course Intelligent Wizard Man Caleb knows absolutely everything about this magic darkness, and Caleb as always having to poke holes in others’ excessively high opinions of him.

+50 to Caduceus/Every Single (Male?) NPC as Caduceus carries on the kind of conversation you’d have with a date with Wursh the blacksmith, who admiringly speaks of how Caduceus is a “crazy motherfucker” while Caduceus speaks admiringly of how “even his advice has abs.” Both of them going on in a sickening way on how much of an “absolute pleasure” it is to spend time together, how glad they are of each other’s “company” in the blasting heat. Gag. Caduceus also, upon gaining the assistance of a “ballsy” mine worker, being “into it.” Of course you are, Caduceus. Of course you are.

+2 to Fjord/Elvis Impersonation for pelvis thrusting in public.

+10 to Caleb/Cat Shaped Creatures as Caleb is incredibly disappointed he can’t cram the moorbounders into his already cramped Tiny Hut. His affectionate “Who’s a good apex predator” to his blood soaked murder kitty. Also, while the others who bonded to the moorbounders learned only the commands “Halt” and “Jump,” resident cat person Caleb Widogast flaunts his superior connection to catkind by successfully employing a third command: “Piss.” Also +10 to Caleb/Pissing in the Wind

+2 to Beauregard/Lesbian Amnesia as she is incapable of recalling the word “shaft” in any context. Fjord helpfully fills her in, with some instructive hand motions that will also slip completely out of her memory within ten seconds. 

+8 to Beau/Jester as upon Jester’s sincere request, Beau successfully puts a dick in a book at the library! “Would Jester be proud of me?” Beau asks eagerly, as Caleb rolls his eyes at her hopelessness. Beau grinning and entering the stratosphere at the prospect of spending a day clothes shopping with Jester, an activity which by definition involves the putting on (and taking off) of a lot of clothing with a very attractive blue gal. Beau calling on Jester to bring out the heart to the foreman, which didn’t intimidate him most likely because the whole time Jester and Beau were making gooey eyes at it reminiscing about mutilating corpses together.

+1 to Beau/Professor Waccoh as Beau is pleased as punch to show off her youth and muscles and tendency to bite. Failing to hit the mark with a “my fair lady” and stumbling worse with a “professor woman of deep knowledge” flirt, but managing to wring an “I like you!” out of the woman nonetheless.

-5 to Caleb/Books He was so excited to read the books, and he did not get to read the books! Caleb then immediately throws himself 50000% into helping a known weapons developer in her quest to more effectively spill Empire Blood, because no amount of moral handwringing can outweigh his bone deep need to Get A Library Card

-2 to Caleb/Item Hoarding as he resists, barely and with Great Effort, his Spoiled Only Child greediness to just take and keep all the items Waccoh offered as payment. Beau tries to point out that taking item payments and rewarding the group are not Mutually Exclusive, but this does not compute.

+42 to Nott/Yeza as post-reunion the pair perform surprisingly well even while under the Shipping Law of Rising Sexpectations. Pet names, screamed “I LOVE YOU”s, saving your wife from getting fleeced/stealing from assholes rude to your husband, showing the world how #Kinky you are, suggestive eyebrows at fake sex potions that Yeza is definitely going to find a way to brew into Real Sex Potions by the time the crew get back. Points lost for leaving Yeza alone, under effective house arrest in a hotel room as Nott gallivants off to her one true love, Killing Things.

-10 to Yasha/Reading the Room as Caleb tries and fails to gracefully duck out of another greatsword shave because Yasha is too adorably insistent that it’s no trouble really, he doesn’t have to worry about inconveniencing her, she really wants to do this for him. Paying an insane amount of money for a used straight razor for Caleb with no awareness, giving that same shopkeeper the impression that she came to the shop looking for extremely racy alchemical concoctions—if what the duergar had on the counter was “too tame” for her, what kind of amazing sexual adventurer could she be?

-10,000 to Sam Riegel/His Presidential Campaign I don’t know if he can recover from what happened to him this week. I don’t know if it’s possible.

#critical role #cr spoilers #lavorregard #beaujester #fjorester #clayleb #widojest #widofjord #fjorclay #shipping calculus #long post

[artdjgblog]

Innerview: Cathy Fishel / Print Magazine August 2005 Image:​ Print Magazine​ Note: Interview for the Print Regional Design Annual.

Introduction: Cathy…Sorry you missed me. Sorry to miss you. Thanks for the message (sorry it cut you off in the middle of your phone number). Things are a bit intense as summer brings a new definition of BUSY. Work. Work. Work. Many thanks for the kind words about my work and I. It means so much. Yeah, I am sure it is chore to sift through all of the junk I’ve been dumping on the PRINT headquarters every March for the past three years or so…(I feel like a true failure if I send less than fifty entries). It is funny because just last week I was thinking about the upcoming PRINT Regional Annual and how I had not heard back on if I was selected…and I guess I have been…how many? And what? I am very curious. I had pretty much written it off. Thanks for informing me…I suppose I was supposed to receive notice upon that a while back…what happened there? Same thing happened to me last year. Out of curiosity I called somebody at PRINT last year and sure enough they had contacted me at the wrong address or something like that…I hope that wasn’t the case again. We need to get that straightened out…indeed. Certainly, I am thrilled to participate in this little questionaire. Wow, i’ve always wanted to. You don’t have to worry about smearing my name from anything said. I don’t care. Here we go… ​​01) How has the pace of business/number of jobs been in the past year as compared to the previous year? The pace is as thick as I want it and when I have sleep to deprive. I’ve always held other jobs and currently work a massive sixty-two hour weekly schedule as a groundskeeper and a janitorial supervisor…thus, cramming design into my pockets…and whenever I can squeeze it in my free time or find it under the pillow in the wee morning. I never actively seek my work due to time constraints and exhaustion…not yet, at least…and besides, the majority is word of mouth. Most of the time I just make stuff. Some of the time I get a nice little call or email and then just make more stuff. 0​2) Why is it up or down? The numbers (ups/downs) are slim if you stack them to my three previous so-called “professional” years…of course it’s due to my lack of time…fatigue…getting older…and mostly because I don’t really have a definite connection with my clients like I used to…and I don’t live with bands, attend concerts or am around my clients as much as I used to…(in case you’re wondering, my primary source of work is in the local independent music industry). Also, I am not as twenty-four-seven-gung-holike I was when I first started. I’ve accomplished most everything I set out to do at this point…(perhapsI’m just settling and need to mark a new planner?). 0​3) Has there been any surprises in the past year? Good or bad? Surprises in my work and thoughts come quite often. Sometimes it’s mush. Sometimes they come as sneakeries. The only real surprises come when I get random calls/emails from kind Print editors, designers requesting copies of posters, people wanting to put me in their books, seeing my work in books/magazines next to my inspirations/peers…and recent college graduates persuing job opportunities with my bedroom design operation. It’s all good…never bad…well, the only bad thing would be that I have to shell out good money for the good books that I’m in. 0​4) Has there been an influx of a new sort of work or client in your office? In the design community as a whole? Honestly, the only new things I approach are the things that come with each new day and in thought. I try to treat each design day new. Nothing I do is new to the worlds, other than in my own. I do thumb magazines a bit and I am a bit of a junky with design/culture and such…and I do keep my eyes open at all times…though, sometimes too much of it can make me not like design or anything. It’s getting to be way over-impacted with the idea that everyone thinks themselves to be a designer. Most of the only new sort of work that really kicks me (or I even consider new) comes from scraps of paper I find and hand painted ghetto signage. Though, if we’re talking professional work, I guess there is some good stuff coming out of the local climate. And of course I guess there is always good stuff coming out of the woods everywhere. Others might lump me in there somewhere. I don’t really know or care. 0​5) What is the economic climate like there in general? I was bummed when Quik Trip ended their “Cheap Drink Summer” so soonly…however, I’ve always got the Hostess thrift store two blocks away. I always find free junk in the streets and at work in the trash…and I always find great deals on paper and “whatevers” at thrift stores. No matter if I don’t cash in on design…I’ve always got cheap fuel to burn…and I will always barter for goods and services…if the price is right/not right. 0​6) Have any large clients closed or left the area? Who? Most of the rock ‘n’ rollers are skinny little dudes and I’m the one that’s gaining the weight around my belt and portfolio pit. There have been a few bands that have broken apart and some that have decided to play musician-designer to save money. And combined roles like that don’t always produce wickedly pretty offspring. 0​7) Has there been any changes in the ways that clients do business with designers (good or bad)? Not really any changes in clients. People still owe me money. Most people still don’t want to pay much or even pay at all for design…though, they are eager to push the products I slap myself onto and I give them free press in books/magazines. Oh well, that’s part of the deal and I knew that from the get go. It’s more than thant anyway. And I still love them…I am sure they still love me…I just don’t make enough from it to eat. But, I do have some wonderful clients that I hope to cradle and/or have them cradle me for a long time…we’ll see. 0​8) Is the design community tight-knit? Competitive? Friendly? What? I don’t really associate with other designers due to a lack of time and sometimes, simply want. I do have a few I check in on…but mostly I stick to my own guns. Therefore, I constantly hope my cats and girlfriend understand what the heck I’m talking about. It’s mostly mumbles I’m trying to say though…at least I’m entertained. In terms of the local design community…well, I guess the art/design here in Kansas City is looking pretty good. Even though i’m only in my fourth year, through the visual clutter I can see a few improvements. From what I understand, there is a tight-knit community that I’m not really associated with physically. From the outside, the knit appears to be extremely tight though. These days I like to sit at home and hunch my shoulders…and I like to think and be around people/places/things that aren’t necessarily directly connected to the design world, but they are in my personal one (whatever that means). In competitive terms I guess I fell victim to that last December. One of the best things I’ve ever done was stolen at an exhibition. Poor Mortimer was an only child and I’ve nothing to document him. Either I’m getting somewhat popular or I have a backlash. I’m also getting tired of most of the announcement boards to post posters being smaller than one of my posters (time to break out my little hands). ​0​9) What exciting things are going on in the design community? Honestly, I couldn’t tell you. Well, I’m kind of excited to see where this city is headed to as a whole. There are a lot of expensive things being built…new downtown developments/arena…and a ridiculous addition to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art that looks like a giant trash bin and/or trailer home. 10) What are you looking forward to in the next year? Any big changes? Anything that you hope will happen? Well, I am getting married this Fall and thus must condense my apartment. I must lovingly adapt to sharing my artifacts, junk, libraries, wall space and work space with a woman. I also plan to start sleeping on a real bed again…and to quit my night job. She is a good one though. 11.) Why is where you are a great place/lousy place to be a designer? Since I’m a one man show, I can take my design anywhere. Though, it helps to have an outlet to a music community…I guess…if I want to continue with that. I guess with this question, it’s mostly all behind the controller. You’ve really got to chop some trees down to be heard…or just put your head down, barrel through them and not really pay attention. And my real dream is to live in the woods outside of a small town near a big city and have the requests come to my porch via arrows…and to make things for myself. I’ve never been one to worry myself about if I’m in the right place or not. As long as my brain is not too sloshy and polluted, I will be fine. 12) What advantages does the midwest hold as a design source for clients? I was born and fed here. It is ok (at times a bit too honky and wonky). I’m happy with the way things have gone so far. I’ve got a meager following here that I suppose “gets it”…and the norm that says, “That’s different.” Though I haven’t really ventured off much in my design life, or simply, life in general. I hear it’s a mighty treat to get out. And I also hear good things about the midwest’s hospitality and friendliness from outsiders and/or people who get out. Perhaps I’ll pack it up one of these days and try some new turf to ooze between my toes. 13) What is the level of student/job applicant talent? Is young talent staying in the area or leaving? It’s really flattering, funny and somewhat depressing to me that I’ve received many offers from recent design graduates who desperately want to work for me. Some are really talented too…and I must paint my sad tale of no funds or time for me to even consider full-time employment with myself. Maybe I’ll just have them move in for therapy…or start my own school with fire poles to slide through the floors of my apartment building and heaping pile of posters to burn for warmth. -djg

#innerviews

[allofbeercom]

5 Insane Subcultures That Might Become The Next Hipster

Guys, we’ve gone and done it: We broke hipsters. We’ve made fun of their $200 “vintage” shirts and fixies and craft-beer-spewing proboscises for so long that the very term has malfunctioned. “Hipster” is now a meaningless go-to insult for anyone who looks different from you, which is everyone. The hipster is gone. Beards can finally be un-ironic again.

However, as much as it pains me to say this, the death of the hipster is a problem. There must always be a dominant subculture — the one people love to hate until it occupies so much mind space that it actually hits the mainstream. A few of them actually die; strong ones such as punk come cackling back in the shadows before long, while others such as hippies gain public semi-acceptance and go on doing their thing. Even fucking emos have Hot Topic to remember them by. But, not hipsters — hipsters are going out like an IPA-tainted diarrhea fart. The mark they leave is distinct, but easily washable. They’ve been an unsustainable fad — the Kris Kross jeans of subcultures. So, now that they’re on the out, there’s a power vacuum, and attempts to fill it with more of the same (see “lumbersexuals” and “yuccies“) don’t seem to be gaining too much traction.

The balance of the universe is at stake. What we need is the next hipster: a fresh new stereotype to joke about/lust after (depending on your alignment) for the next few years. Seeing as I’m currently locked in the writing barrel, and the other columnists refuse to let me out until I find one, here goes:

#5. Raggare

I’ve never been a greaser myself because, frankly, I can only handle so much Buddy Holly, but I have a long-standing affinity toward 1950s aesthetics. That’s why it’s always pissed me off a little that, apart from a few fashion revivals and Stray Cats in the 1980s, the culture has been firmly sidelined from the mainstream for decades. Still, just because it’s not front and center doesn’t mean that it’s not evolving. In Sweden, strange things are happening:

It’s like Mad Max had a drinking competition with Grease, and everyone lost.

Raggare have been around since the 1950s, but they truly kicked into gear during the 1970s oil crisis: When America found it didn’t have money to drive its giant-ass cars, many Swedes said, “Fuck yes, American stuff for cheap,” and bought themselves a bunch of Buicks, Dodges, and suchlike in prime condition. The rock ‘n’ roll attitude arrived with the cars, and they’ve never stopped since. These days, raggare are a culture old enough to have subcultures of its own: the relatively mellow old-timers who tinker with their machines and arrange garage parties and drives, and the younger generation, who are feistier and, if the pictures are any indication, possess a very different attitude about their cars’ appearance.

Feber “I’m telling you, man, thatched car roofs are the next big thing.”

Hipster Pros:

Raggare have a look. They have a very specific thing that they do. Most importantly, they’re not just a phase you grow out of. Guys from the 1970s are still in the scene and have no intention of stopping. These guys could have actual lasting power.

Hipster Cons:

They’re seasonal. The raggare lifestyle is all about old cars, suede shoes, and painstakingly pomade-sculptured hair, all of which go right out of the window when mother nature decides to make your region eat a faceful of winter. For the colder portion of the year, many raggare tend to go around in modern cars and season-appropriate clothes and generally give more of an upstanding citizen vibe. Today’s Twitter-filled world is a hectic ol’ thing, and a subculture that goes into hibernation for a few months every year might not be able to survive even a single media cycle.

I am, of course, proposing that they should mod their cars into all-weather, all-terrain attack vehicles, M.A.S.K. style.

#4. Seapunk

Seapunk is a logical successor to the dominant subculture throne, in that it ticks all the right boxes: They have their own weird, house/hip-hop music, a distinct identity, and a look that sets them apart from everyone else. Also important: Said look is annoying as hell.

Aquaman’s emo years were no one’s proudest moment.

Even seapunk’s origin story is organic, reflects our times, and (most importantly) is easily stupid enough to warrant a torrent of jokes. Someone saw a dream about a leather jacket with barnacles instead of studs and tweeted it, shit went viral — and boom! Online joke becomes a meme, and meme becomes a subculture, complete with aesthetics that look like a tornado picked up the entire Burning Man festival and dropped it in the cartoon ocean part of Oz.

Hipster Pros:

They’re a fucking meme come to life! Plus, no one seems to be certain about whether this is an elaborate joke or an actual thing that exists. Suck on those irony levels, veterans of the hipster scene.

My money would be on the joke, but I think I actually have a shirt like that somewhere.

Hipster Cons:

It might be too late. We live in a time where most cool new things are almost immediately appropriated by the mainstream. So, barely a year into its short life, pop stars from Rihanna to Azealia Banks were already flirting with the seapunk aesthetic, stripping it of what little underground value it had. By most accounts, the movement largely fizzled out of existence by the end of 2012, meaning that the Mayan people were right about at least one small, sad apocalypse.

Even if there is a strong seapunk scene bubbling under the streets and just waiting to explode upon us in all its aquamarine glory, there’s the fact that apart from the 0.01 percent of seapunks with the looks, time, money, and eye for visuals to regularly look like a naval-themed wedding cake, pretty much every aficionado of the movement would end up looking as out of place as the left shark in Katy Perry’s Superbowl performance.

FUCK YEAH LEFT SHARK, YOU SHOW THEM!

This would, of course, be totally awesome and thus severely undermine the subculture’s ability to function as a hate sink.

#3. Gopniki

Weird Russia

There are plenty of working class cultures around the world that wear track suits and designer gear — British chavs, Polish dresy, Australian bogans, and gangsta rappers, for instance. However, those are not what we’re going to talk about today. Today, we’re all about the gopniki. They’re the Russian variation of the ghetto gangster theme and therefore, by default, 125 percent rougher around the edges and in possession of precisely none of all the fucks. If you see a weird YouTube clip about a 20-something in a cheap track suit doing an activity that makes you instantly nod and think: “Yep, Russia,” chances are it’s one of these guys.

Case in point.

Hipster Pros:

Every once in a while, society needs its dominant subculture to be more than just a remora sticking to pop culture’s underbelly. Sometimes, we need it to give us a good, hard slap on the balls and make us look in the mirror. It’s been a while since we had one of those, and none of the current ones fit the old “my son/daughter is not going to go out with one of those people” bill better than the gopniki.

Also, I’m completely on board with a rerun of the Slav squat meme.

Hipster Cons:

Gopniki are not known for their open-mindedness, but extremely so for their tendency to drunkenly fight anything that moves. Unless you’re a terrible person, they’re not going to agree with your political views too much and, on occasion, might be inclined to do their disagreeing with the soles of their Adidas instead of angry blogging.

So, while a gopnik might be a very good target for a casual “ugh, can you believe what I saw one of those fucking gopniki do today at Starbucks?” said offensive activity might involve a lot less pretentious screenplay writing with an actual typewriter and a lot more high-impact slurs and poor impulse control.

Also, I really, really don’t want that goddamned slicked-forward inverted mullet hairstyle half of them seem to sport to catch on. I still haven’t recovered from topknots.

Actually, yeah, let’s pass these fucking guys. Besides, I have a much better candidate just around the corner …

#2. Haul People

Back in the murky depths of 2011, Cracked’s resident trend expert Daniel O’Brien became baffled by a phenomenon known as haul videos. They’re seemingly random YouTube clips where girls fawned over their shopping “hauls” on-camera and, for some inexplicable reason, raked in five- to six-figure views.

I remember this well. Back then, it seemed like just another weird kink of the Internet, a video version of a meme. Surely, people have long since grown bored of watching a bunch of creepy kids wave their purchases at the camera and wandered away to watch more cat videos or someth-

… ing.

6.7 million views? Actual production values? What the shit?

Sure, they’re still not particularly widely known, but they’ve been moving and shaking in the marginal like no one’s business. The people who make haul videos used to be called haul girls, but now that guys are in on the action, too, I don’t think the community really has a name yet — haulers? Haulsters? I’m just going to go ahead and call them “haul people” and hope it’ll stick until the Mole Man mishears the name and attempts to enslave them all. Many of the more successful ones have PR agents and deals with fashion and cosmetic companies. They have been featured on Good Morning America. They have a distinct identity, albeit that of vapid fucks yammering about consumer products to unseen audiences. There are even people who make haul parodies. If that level of sadness doesn’t ruin your day, I don’t know what will.

Hipster Pros:

Easier to hate than a shit-smeared street performer singing Nickelback, yet inexplicably popular enough to have some semblance of legitimacy. Those are the main definitions of, well, every fucking successful subculture in history, and haul people pass them with flying flags.

Flags that they shape out of giant shopping bags.

Hipster Cons:

They’re not ready just yet.

Although they have vast potential as a highly visible subculture that everyone will do their level best to forget in five years’ time, haul people currently lack direction. They’re basically low-key corporate shills, buying/getting junk and peddling it for us. However, the extreme popularity of fringe haul genres such as unboxing videos shows promise for something much, much grander and more stupid. Give it a year or two; I have hope that the community will find certain defining themes and Flanderize itself into something we can truly be baffled by on an ironic-mustache level.

#1. These Fucking Guys

For the love of G’huul the Great Eater, keep the sound on.

Hipster Pros:

All of them.

Hipster Cons:

None. We’re done here. I don’t care who these people really are. I don’t care what they’re supposed to be doing. All I know is that they look like an explosion at the My Little Pony factory’s neon paint subsidiary, and someone edited the Thomas The Tank Engine theme to sync with their goofy-looking space outfit flailing. That is the level of bafflement we need right now, friends, and I now want these guys to explode all over our pop culture fucking yesterday — preferably, while contractually obligated to carry a boom box that blasts out the Thomas theme 24/7.

Pauli Poisuo is a Cracked weekly columnist and freelance editor. Here he is on Facebook and Twitter.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-insane-subcultures-that-might-become-the-next-hipster/