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#'The promise in our hearts Don't forget I'm with you in the dark'
irisintheafterglow · 6 months
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uno wild card: stop writing for coparenting!megumi with satoru or draw 25
me, with 95 cards already in my hand:
also cw this is angst/comfort 'cause apparently i'm in the mood for pain
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"shh, shh, baby. you're okay. i'm right here. you're okay." his breath is still rapidly uneven, chest heaving while you hold him in your lap on his mattress. "megs, you need to breathe. you're okay. i've got you." it wasn't often that megumi had nightmares; but, every few months, something triggered in his mind and had him seeing monsters that weren't real. as if by instinct, you felt that something was off tonight. there wasn't any time for explanation as you peeled satoru's arms from your torso, just a hyperfocus on the panicked child in the next room over.
"i don't-i don't-" his voice breaks into strangled cries and his little fingers grip tighter on your clothes, one of satoru's old pajama shirts. fat drops run down his cheeks, eyes irritated and red. you continue to hush the boy, gently running your fingers through his hair as his tears soak through the fabric of your top.
"they won't get you, megs. i promise," you whisper into his temple, pressing your lips tenderly to his forehead. "you're okay." his chokes for air have decreased slightly, but he's still trembling like you'd just pulled him from a frozen-over lake.
"where's satoru?" you sigh, chest aching at the implications of those two words. it wasn't that megumi didn't want you there. whatever woke him up must have distressed him so much that he was actually acknowledging your boyfriend. it broke your heart into a few more pieces.
"next door, fast asleep. do you want me to go get him?" he immediately tenses against you, wrapping his arms around your neck so you couldn't get up. "megs?"
"please don't leave me," he pleads. his voice is small and riddled with fear. you nod, slipping one arm under his tiny legs so that he's hanging on you like a monkey.
"can i bring you to our bed? is that okay?"
"mhmm," he hums exhaustedly into your shoulder. his breaths have evened out to a relatively calm rhythm, but he still holds on to you like you'd launch into the stratosphere if he let go. pulling back the covers with one hand, you gently set the boy down next to satoru, who sleepily blinks open a curious blue eye.
"and where might you be going?" he quietly asks in the darkness of the room, propped on an elbow as you make to go back to megumi's bed. megumi was already fast asleep, curled into himself with satoru's hand protectively on his head.
"i'll be right back; i'm gonna go grab his wolf."
"come back quickly. i miss you," he yawns and you can tell it's taking a lot out of him to not fall back asleep. still, his constant need for your presence has you chuckling under your breath.
"i've been awake for five minutes, love."
"five minutes too long, so hurry up." it's barely twenty seconds that you're gone, picking up megumi's favorite stuffie and crawling back under the blankets with your boys. his arms unconsciously wrap around the wolf and he sighs deeply in contentment. despite the calm, your chest still felt like it was aching for the boy and it was almost too much. it almost is, until satoru's hand reaches out to brush your cheek with his knuckles. "hey, beautiful."
"hi, handsome. you okay?"
"i'm great, albeit a little sleepy," he drawls, glancing down at the snoring kid between your bodies. "nightmare?" you hum in assent, pulling megumi closer when he flips over to hug you. satoru takes his chance and tugs both of you into him until his arms stretched over both you and megumi. "he say what it was about?"
"he didn't, though it must have been pretty bad since he was asking for you," you reply. you expect a lightheartedly indignant protest, but all you're met with is a deep, deep frown. "why the face?"
"poor kid shouldn't be having nightmares so bad that he forgets he hates me." you scoff, careful not to wake the kid. your kid.
"he doesn't hate you, satoru."
"okay," he concedes, "'mildly dislikes' for the sake of comedy."
"there you go," you smile at him and he gazes lovingly back at you.
"you know, i really didn't plan for you to be part of this mentorship equation," he confesses and your eyebrow raises in question of his point. "but," he continues, pressing a kiss to your nose. "i'm so glad you're in it."
"i love you, satoru."
"you promise?"
"on the moon and the stars."
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neptuneiris · 8 months
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detachment (02/03)
did Aemond Targaryen truly loved you?
pairing: prince!aemond × niece!reader
summary: aemond not only breaks your heart after so many love promises, he also breaks his betrothal to you without any justification and announces his betrothal to a baratheon girl. now you will be married soon too.
word count: 7.9k
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hello beautiful people, finally here is the chapter you have been waiting for so long, im so happy, I hope you like it a lot❤ thank you very much for reading🥺
comments and reblogs are always appreciated, thank u, you are all awesome❣
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—TWO MOONS AGO.
"I'm so sorry, my sweet girl."
"No, it's all right, mother. Do not worry."
"I know this is not what you wished for but—
"It is my wish."
You interrupt your mother with a small smile that she instantly knows is neither genuine nor convincing, to which she watches you for a few moments without saying anything, watching you intently.
She takes your hand and places the other on your right cheek to come closer and leave a sweet kiss on your left cheek that you allow to feel that love that only she transmits and comforts you.
She then pulls away from you a little without letting go and watches you with a small smile on her lips and a slight gleam in her beautiful lilac eyes.
"You know you have my full support, my love. And don't even think that I will leave you alone in all this," she assures you, "But I know you and you must not lie to me, Y/N."
You know that at this moment your gaze gives you away, as well as all the true feelings you are conveying but you still want to show your mother that you are willing to do your duty.
And it really is your relief that it is this person you are going to marry when it could have been worse.
"Mother, you must not worry about me."
"But of course I do," she tells you instantly, "You're my daughter and I love you."
"I love you too. But this marriage to Cregan Stark couldn't be better not only for me, but for the whole family," you remind her, "He is a respectful and honorable man. I know there will be much respect between us and eventually affection will be born. And we will have all the support of the North when the time comes for you to become queen."
She smiles softly again with that warmth and affection, gently stroking your cheek with her thumb, looking directly into your eyes with all that sincerity and love.
"But he's not the one you wish to marry, is he?"
So all those pent up feelings, they want to come out at that moment. And even more so because of the way she is talking to you and understands you completely.
"Even with all that your marriage to Cregan Stark offers…. it's not him."
You swallow hard and press your lips together, starting to feel the tears want to come out of your eyes, as well as all that feeling for everything that happened and thinking about everything that could have been.
You remember how a while ago everything was fine, how everything seemed fine, how you thought you knew certain things and knew certain people.
However, he broke your heart.
Worst of all, you never knew why. You really wanted to know what had happened, what had changed his mind and if you had done something wrong, but… nothing.
He left you totally in the dark with his reasons. He preferred you to suffer and forget everything as if nothing had happened from one day to the next to accept his sudden betrothal to Floris Baratheon.
And you truly wanted to understand at the time, feeling completely broken and shattered… but he never gave you an answer.
"It doesn't matter anymore, mother. He is betrothed and now so am I. I do not doubt that after my wedding with lord Stark, his with lady Baratheon will happen soon after. He made his decision moons ago and now so have I."
"Very well," she nods at you, "You learned quickly, my sweet girl. Just as I had to when I accepted my fate."
You smile.
"You mean my father?"
"Our story was in short times, always with a lot of duty involved and inconveniences. Until we could finally be together after that horrible night," she tells you softly, "But when you truly love a person, you can't help it and you just want to join your blood with them, no matter what."
You nod, lowering your gaze, understanding.
But really understanding.
You know that feeling and you know exactly who you used to feel that way with. You were even close to being able to bond forever. But now… you're about to do your duty without that person.
"Then, my sweet girl…" your mother says to you, getting your attention again, "I'll just make sure to arrive at King's Landing a day before the wedding, as you asked. Everything will be ready by the time we get there."
You smile softly in her direction, feeling very relieved at that and nod.
"Thank you, mother."
"Anything for you, my love."
After spending part of your afternoon with your mother, you head to another of the great rooms of the Dragonstone castle, where your brothers are practicing High Valyrian and your younger brothers are being cared for by the maids.
You immediately join in caring for your brothers, listening to Jace and Luke's Valyrian, correcting them on some pronunciations and helping them to formulate words correctly.
Then Rhaena enters the room as well to look after and keep little Joffrey company, letting you know that Baela has flown to Driftmark.
Normally as the night draws in, your mother and father also spend time in this Room, all together as a family, a time when Rhaenyra wishes she could freeze and stay all together like this forever.
And that's exactly what she thinks when she enters the Room and sees all her children, or almost all of them, together attending to different duties, with a little smile and loving look on her face.
Daemon is writing something on the large table, to which she turns to him, stroking her barely noticeable two-moon belly, with a new member to the family coming into the world soon, the prince or princess.
"What are you writing, my love?"
Daemon raises his gaze to her, with the seal of House Targaryen about to embed it in the letter.
"The word to Kings Landing with the news of Y/N's marriage to Lord Stark."
"Ah yes, I forgot to do that."
"And that's why I do it for you, ābrazȳrys."
Rhaenyra leaves a soft and loving kiss on her husband's head to continue on her way to her eldest sons, listening attentively to the High Valyrian, just like Y/N, ready to correct them.
Not long after, considering that the distance between Dragonstone and Kings Landing is not too much, the raven arrives at the Red Keep with the new and unexpected news, with Queen Alicent and her father Otto Hightower reading the message.
The Heir, Princess Rhaenyra returns to King's Landing in less than two moons with her prince consort Prince Daemon and her entire family to celebrate the wedding of Princess Y/N Velaryon to Lord Cregan Stark, Lord of Winterfell.
"This is vile and disgusting news."
"Father—
"With Lord Cregan Stark?" inquires Otto, "Do you know what this means, Alicent?"
"It can't be that bad, still Daeron's wedding to Lady Lannister adds soldiers and ships to us for Aegon's claim. So does Aemond's wedding to lady Baratheon."
"Rhaenyra will have the whole North on her side by the time the time comes and you know it. The whole fucking North fighting for her and her bastard daughter!" Otto exclaims in annoyance, "We can't let that wedding happen."
"Rhaenyra must already be getting everything ready at Dragonstone. And to try to stop her the wedding, she could easily marry Y/N to Lord Stark somewhere else," says the queen, "It will be useless."
"Call the Maester. Call the entire Council, immediately," Otto quickly orders one of his guards, annoyed and desperate.
The guard immediately complies with the Hand's order, so that very soon all the members enter and take their respective seats in the Council Chamber.
But not long after, Aegon and Aemond Targaryen also decide to burst into the room, Aemond mostly noticing that something is wrong and Aegon simply following, his grandsire surprised to see him in his five senses.
"What's the matter?" asks Aemond serious, approaching his mother.
But before his own mother can answer him, his grandsire does, only without answering him.
"Your wedding to Lady Baratheon will happen by the end of this month."
Aemond immediately observes his grandsire without any expression, hiding his surprise well, drawing the attention of everyone else in the room.
"We will send word to Storm's End's, Lady Floris should already be here by in less than five days and prepare everything immediately," Otto continues, "Not too soon after, we will send a raven to Oldtown and Prince Daeron's wedding to Lady Cerelle will also happen."
"May I ask, my Lord Hand, why so hurriedly?" asks lord Lannister.
"Yes, why?" inquires Aemond of his grandsire as well, with a tone of voice and a menacingly serious look.
But Otto Hightower deliberately ignores his grandson.
"Are you not pleased with the news, Lord Jason?" he inquires condecently, "After all, it is your daughter who is to marry a prince of the realm, my grandson."
"Not that I am complaining, my Lord, in fact I have been waiting to hear this news ever since we agreed to join our houses. But I was also hoping, just like my daughter, that the wedding would be relevant and not too attached to another wedding also of another prince of the realm. It certainly would not draw the attention of our people."
"This is not about getting people's attention, nor how attractive the union is, Lord Jason," Otto tells him seriously and clearly annoyed, "You should feel grateful that the union is going to happen, because I remind you that this is about Prince Aegon's claim to the Throne, or have you already forgotten?"
"I asked you a question and I'm not going to repeat myself," Aemond speaks again in his grandsire's direction, serious.
This immediately gets everyone's attention, but in the end it is Queen Alicent who responds in a soft, cautious voice.
"Y/N is going to be married."
This immediately gets Aemond's attention and also Aegon behind him, who was disinterested and even annoyed to hear his grandsire's words about his claim to the Iron Throne.
But this definitely gets his attention, he even watches his brother cautiously, waiting for his reaction, just like his mother.
However, Aemond keeps his usual neutral and at the same time serious face, hiding his true emotions very well, starting to feel how those true emotions run through his whole body and want to explode.
Otto watches him attentively, annoyed and serious, instantly knowing very well what he must be feeling. And that is what he, Otto Hightower, does not want.
"Yes, Aemond, with Cregan Stark, the Lord of Winterfell," he tells him seriously, "You too have already forgotten why you are marrying Lady Baratheon precisely?"
Aemond clenches his jaw, immediately this getting his attention and watching his grandsire with a deadly and threatening look, all this together with his posture showing that he is losing his patience.
And that everyone notices.
"Aemond," Alicent calls out to him, rising from his seat.
"When?"
Aemond's voice interrupts him, in the direction of his grandsire, his whole posture tense and his hands made into fists, his jaw clenched and his gaze like that of a dragon about to burn everything to the ground.
"I told you, by the end of this month your wedding—
"No, when will Y/N's wedding to Cregan Stark be."
He interrupts her in a firm, menacingly serious voice.
"It doesn't matter when it will be," Otto tells him in annoyance, raising his voice higher, drawing everyone's attention, demanding, "What matters right now is that these two weddings happen before the wedding of Rhaenyra's daughter to Lord Stark so as to invite all the great houses, even Cregan Stark and form alliances before Rhaenyra and Prince Daemon."
"In two moons, approximately."
Alicent replies to Aemond, noting how his anger grows more and more as his grandsire speaks, not giving him an answer.
"That's what they said on the raven they sent this afternoon from Dragonstone."
Aemond lowers his gaze, beginning to think about it, about how the wedding will take place here, at King's Landing, where he will have to be present and witness it all…to Y/N, his Y/N, getting married to Lord Cregan Stark.
Lord Cregan fucking Stark.
"I doubt we can do anything about it, my Lord," Jasper Wylde speaks, "The wedding is already a done deal, we will not succeed in convincing Lord Stark to change his allegiance."
"And this is a great advantage for Princess Rhaenyra and her claim," says Jason Lannister, " Her daughter, Princess Y/N and Lord Stark together is an excellent and convenient match."
At the words of some of the council members, Aemond can't help but feel downright sick, thinking of Y/N and Lord Stark.
As you should.
His own mind tells him, feeling the fire and anger coursing through his veins, unable to control himself, thinking about what is really going on here.
"We will do whatever it takes to still have as much support as possible. King Viserys will not last long and by now we would have to secure all possible alliances for when the time comes. If war falls upon us and if we pull this off… fighting Rhaenyra and her alliances won't be so hard."
"She will have the entire North fighting for her, my Lord."
One of the members tells him cautiously, thinking about the number of soldiers Princess Rhaenyra will have at her disposal, also all the people supporting her claim, that adding up to the whole Valley.
"That's why we need to be more clever," Otto Hightower insists, "My grandchildren's weddings will be paramount in this. We need to send a raven to Oldtown, now," he turns to the Maester, "I need Daeron here at King's Landing and your daughter as well, Lord Jason. After Aemond's wedding, he—
"No."
Aemond Targaryen completely interrupts his grandsire in front of the Queen and the entire Council, drawing everyone's attention, surprised by his boldness and deadly behavior in the direction of his grandsire, who also gives him a threatening look.
"You had plenty of time to plan my wedding with Lord Borros' daughter. It's not my fault that until now you are acting when your job as the Hand is to act since you knew the threats," he tells her seriously and completely firm with his words, "If you want a wedding, plan Daeron's, not mine. I will not be a part of your incompetence when I have already given you too much."
"You are forgetting your place, Aemond," Otto warns him in a careful tone and one in which he fully tells him that he does not want to contradict him now.
But Aemond has had enough.
"You are forgetting your place," he replies in kind.
"Aemond, that's enough," his mother calls to him instantly, letting out a long breath, "You don't want to get married now, that's fine. But don't forget that eventually you will have to," she reminds him earnestly, "After all, Lady Baratheon is still your betrothed and she along with Lord Borros expect the wedding to take place soon."
Again Aemond feels sick to his stomach as he listens to his mother's words, thinking of his betrothed, Lady Floris Baratheon. The very thought of marrying her makes him feel unhappy.
But it is the truth… she is still his betrothed and whether he wishes it or not, he will eventually have to marry her, because his family swore an oath with hers, not him, but his family.
And he has to live up to the weight of that oath.
"We should continue to discuss the marriage of Princess Y/N to Lord Stark, my Queen," says the Maester.
"There is nothing more to discuss, the chances are slim with Lord Stark and we will have to focus on bringing the marriage of my son and Lady Cerelle to the attention of the great houses."
Queen Alicent begins to lead the entire Council, as Otto Hightower continues to watch Aemond with daggers in his eyes, serious, furious and incredulous at his behavior.
He thought he already had everything under control, but Otto forgot that he is not a dragon and the blood of the dragon in anyone who possesses it, especially in Aemond, is chaotic and reckless.
"Congratulations, brother."
Aegon catches Aemond's eye, watching him over his shoulder as he gives him a friendly clap on the back, almost whispering his words.
"You said you hoped our sweet niece would soon outgrow you? Well, now she's marrying the lord of all Winterfell," he says with a small smile, "She's definitely outgrown you."
And with nothing more to say, Aegon leaves the Council Chamber, not interested in the matters of the realm, much less to plan a fucking wedding and have his grandsire take it upon himself to form alliances for his claim to the Throne, as if he cares about such a thing.
As Aemond stands still for a few seconds, watching him go, his words repeating over and over in his mind, anger again coursing through his body, fire, hatred.
He wishes he could prove his brother right, but the truth is that he is very wrong.
Unable to stand it any longer, he quickly heads out of the room as well, not wanting nor caring at all to discuss these matters, this room really displeasing him by bringing back bad memories.
And as soon as he faces the corridors of the Keep, again Aemond remains static for a few moments and his mind again thinking about things he really doesn't want to think about.
But he can't help it.
Like that time he also rushed out of this room, leaving the woman he loves behind, tearing her apart in the worst possible way and pretending not to care.
Even as one of the fiercest and most brutal knights of his time, Prince Aemond doesn't know where he found the courage and strength to break Y/N's heart… his Y/N.
He has always characterized himself as an honorable and respectful man, especially to Y/N, but what he did to her… was out of his nature and highly unpleasant.
And once he was in the safety of his chamber, the first thing he did was sit in one of his chairs near his fireplace, wanting to feel the fire, with the realization slowly starting to become clearer to him, realizing what he had done.
Aemond remembers the last time he cried, it was when he was a little boy in one of his episodes over his lost eye.
A terrible migraine kept him awake for a whole day, he couldn't even get out of bed and couldn't bear to see the light of day. His mother held him tight and was there for him all the time, not even leaving him alone for a second.
Alicent tried and ordered everything to make him feel better, but the Maesters couldn't do much and all he could do, all he learned to do since he was a little boy, was to have to endure the pain.
And since then, the first tear falls down his right cheek.
Aemond, upset, angry and disgusted with himself, cries. And he actually allows himself to cry as he remembers his Y/N's precious face completely shattered and red from her crying, her whole look confused and in need of explanations.
And he couldn't even give her that, an explanation.
And the worst part was that they already had it all. It was all said and done, they were going to be husband and wife finally, as they had asked for so much.
But he finally snatched away her illusion and simply left her without explanations. And that's what makes him lose control completely.
Furious, feeling like a coward, an idiot and annoyed with himself, he lets out a growl and starts breaking everything in his room, with despair and anger in his body.
He screams and blames himself for that weight on his shoulders, a weight that does not belong to him, a weight that he had nothing to do with from the beginning and a weight that he had to let go of the woman he loves when he almost had her because of his family's ambition.
That night the servants had to silently clean the room of Prince Aemond, who, unable to bear it any longer, went for a ride in Vhagar, wanting to forget everything and everyone.
And now, in the present, him in the middle of the hall with the thought of Y/N marrying Lord Stark soon… it's too much.
And he knows it's the same feeling she must have felt when he broke her heart.
He couldn't agree more that he deserves it, but he didn't want to let her go either. Nothing he did was really his choice, but that was the right decision.
And now…he still has to face the consequences of his own actions: Y/N's marriage to a man who will not be him.
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"There you have it, my princess."
"Thank you, Emelly," you smile at one of your maids, who leaves you a tray with your almost every night tea so you can fall asleep, "You can rest now."
" You don't need anything else, princess?"
"No, I'm good, thank you. See you in the morrow."
"Of course, princess. Get some rest."
The maid leaves your room, who looking at you in your mirror you continue brushing your straight, silver hair, preparing for sleep.
You've already gone to your siblings' and Rhaena's rooms, especially the little ones', to wish them good night.
Your mother and father have also already come to speak with you and have your usual conversations of the night, where they talk about your wedding to Lord Cregan more than anything else, Daemon and Rhaenyra making sure nothing else haunts your mind.
They know that a wedding can cause too much stress, especially when you're marrying the one you didn't expect from the start, talking about duty and what's expected next from you and your husband.
Your older brother Jace had told you it's a stressful but very necessary conversation, considering the next wedding in the family will be his and Baela's.
You let out a long breath, leave your brush on your dressing table and head off to drink your tea, needing to sleep.
You take the cup from the tray in your hands when the napkin catches your attention. You frown and notice how there is something sticking out from under that napkin, hidden but wanting to be seen specifically by you.
You set the cup down on the table and pick up the napkin, curious and wary, realizing that it is the small envelope of a letter, definitely catching your attention more than before.
You analyze it and there is no indication of who the message might be from. So you decide to open it, finding a small sentence and an addressee that makes your heart jump in your chest and your lips parted.
Meet me at our place by the Hour of the Wolf. I need to explain everything to you, please. I will be waiting.
A.T.
Your pulse starts to race, your whole body starts to shake and you read the message over and over again, your system making you feel more emotions and feelings as you read who has sent this to you.
You think to yourself that this must be a joke or even perhaps some kind of trap, thinking that this can't be. But you know it's him.
It's his handwriting, you would recognize it on any piece of paper, as well as the signature he always uses in all his messages, short and subtle.
Now you understand why so much mystery. But you honestly don't understand how he could have gotten his message to you. It's practically impossible.
Unless he hired or paid irrelevant people, because Emelly is extremely loyal to you and would not have done this considering your history with your uncle, as well as anyone else knows it.
Your uncle who right now must be waiting for you.
Your mind tells you as you look at his message in front of you, surprised with your parted lips, with a feeling starting to invade your chest that you don't know exactly what it is but… it causes you some emotion.
And you can't. You truly can't do this.
You remember everything that happened, what he did to you, what his grandsire did to you too, and how broken you felt, how he broke your heart and left you without explanation, only to become betrothed to Floris Baratheon.
You swallow hard, walking to your huge windows, looking out at the night outside and barely lit by the fire torches that light a little of the roads around Dragonstone, looking out beyond the sea, in the direction where that island is and where you and Aemond used to meet.
You press your lips together, feeling a sharp pain in your chest, as well as that uncertainty and beginning to take into consideration what he has written to you on that little piece of paper.
But again… you can't.
You are both betrothed. You are betrothed to Lord Cregan Stark, you will marry him soon and then… probably he will marry Lady Floris Baratheon as well.
You know you shouldn't even consider it, you know you shouldn't feel that curiosity and longing, because he doesn't deserve it.
That's why you make your decision just as he made his moons ago.
Even though you admit that it hurts and even costs you, you still think of yourself, because he doesn't deserve you to feel this way about him, not after all the damage caused.
You don't know what Aemond really thinks, but it certainly isn't entirely wise to ask you to meet in the hour of the Wolf as if nothing had happened.
And what a coincidence that he does this just when your wedding is in a few more weeks.
You stare out over the sea for a few more moments, thinking, but having already made up your mind. You let out a long breath and without hesitation, you head to your fireplace and throw his message into the fire.
Then you head back to your table to drink your tea and drink it all down so you can finally sleep and forget this ever happened.
While on the small island in Blackwater Bay, Aemond Targaryen keeps Vhagar close by, watching as he sits on a huge rock on the sand of the beach towards the direction of Dragonstone, waiting for you.
He doesn't really find much to entertain himself with, beginning to feel anxious with each passing minute and still not seeing any dragons approaching in the night sky, getting up and pacing back and forth, letting out long breaths and trying to calm himself.
He would be a fool not to have thought that maybe you would ignore him and not even in your greatest madness, the other side of the Targaryen coin, would you agree to meet him after all that happened.
Of course he had thought about it. But he still decided to risk it.
But the minutes pass and pass, with Aemond waiting for you, disappointment and reality coming at him like a strong wave every moment he is still there alone on the island.
He feels frustration beginning to course through his body, also anger but not for you, but for himself.
He thinks of your soon marriage to him, Lord Stark and feels more despair coursing through him, not even bearing the thought.
He asks the Seven to you please show up, really wanting to explain himself.
But he knows it is too late. He was never going to get this chance, because he really hurt you too much and he knows it, he knows it and he has the memory more vivid than ever.
But even though he knew it, he can't help but be disappointed as he continues to wait for a dragon in the night sky that never came.
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—PRESENT
The days go by too fast after the conversation with your mother and after so many preparations and requests for the wedding.
When the wedding day finally arrives.
Your mother overlooks her pregnancy, considering she is barely four moons pregnant, to ride Syrax and take her with her to King's Landing while you ride Silverwing so you both arrive in the capital a day before the wedding, as you wished.
You try to suppress all feelings along with the nerves of returning to the Red Keep, where there are many buried memories and people from the past. However, you are here for your wedding.
You know that this visit is brief just to get the wedding over with and nothing more, then your family will return to Dragonstone or probably your mother will decide to stay again to take care of your grandsire, while you will go to Winterfell.
You really want to know the North. It was one of the few conversations you had with Lord Stark and he agreed, as well as both of you being present at Court after spending married moons.
And you really have no intention of anything else happening and just let it happen as it should. And just before the sun sets, you and your mother arrive at King's Landing.
You meet your father, your brothers, sisters, also your grandmother Rhaenys and your grandsire Corlys, even also Queen Alicent welcomes you both back and also gives you her congratulations for your wedding.
If you didn't know her, you wouldn't know that her smile is fake. Clearly Alicent didn't want you to marry her son but neither did she want you to marry a person as influential as Lord Stark. But honestly you don't care.
She is the one who directs you and your mother to the king's chambers, to whom your mother wishes to speak and also in case she wants to dedicate a few words to you for your wedding.
On your way back to your room you meet your aunt, sweet Helaena, who welcomes your mother with a charming look and smile, also you, congratulating you on your wedding.
Fortunately you don't meet any other relevant people, just as you didn't see him or his betrothed anywhere, which you are thankful for.
Because the sooner this could happen, without distractions and unexpected inconveniences, the better.
The only thing you remember about that night when you arrived at King's Landing is that you had to drink a large and considerable amount of your tea in order to sleep, not being able to fall asleep because you were thinking about tomorrow.
And honestly also for thinking a little about him.
You were afraid that he would suddenly enter your chamber through the secret door, because surely he hasn't forgotten his request to meet you on the island to explain everything and you never showed up, but fortunately that didn't happen.
And when you least expect it, you are already at the celebration feast with all the guests present, you looking like a bride, waiting for your betrothed, everything going according to your mother's plan.
The common thing in a wedding is to get married at the Septon and then move on to the feast, but in this case, your mother chose the other way around, just like her wedding to your father, Sr. Laenor.
You learned that Alicent had questioned this, but your mother didn't care much, just reminded her that this was how her wedding had once been and that this way, you would feel less overwhelmed, knowing you perfectly well.
When it all begins.
They have already announced the king, also all your family, only the Hightower-Targaryen and also your betrothed are missing.
Your grandsire is seated at the large table next to his wife on the right side, while your mother is seated on his left side, followed by your place and then your betrothed's place. Your father takes a seat at the head of the table on the left side along with your brothers and sisters.
All the lord's and lady's present are spread throughout the Throne Room, as the food will soon be served and the musicians are already in position to begin at any moment.
Your mother at your side holds your hand to give you her support and her soft, sweet smiles in your direction to help with your nerves. Although she also makes sure that your entire appearance is intact.
It was always Rhaenyra's wish that her daughter, her first daughter, would have a wedding like hers was.
She would also prefer a Valyrian wedding, in fact that was her illusion when the king gave his blessing for the wedding between Y/N and Aemond.
But now, things are different and considering that Lord Stark is not Targaryen, clearly, a Westerosi wedding was the best option. And you did not complain at all.
In fact, it filled you with excitement and affection that when your father and grandfather saw you entering the Room, with your appearance for the occasion, they instantly told you that you wore them many years ago, when they were also in this same place and your mother married your father, Laenor.
A white dress with shoulder-length sleeves draws attention with golden details and some chains adorn around your waist with dragon figures.
Your hair falls in elegant waves, reaching above your waist, with some very subtle braids adorning the top of your head.
Your mother wanted some golden pins to be placed between your hair, also jewelry such as gold necklaces, rings and bracelets, to look more and properly like a Targaryen princess.
When at that moment, they announce the missing people at the big table. The people or rather the person you most expected and never wanted to arrive at the same time.
"Prince Aegon Targaryen, first born son of King Viserys Targaryen with his lady wife, Princess Helaena Targaryen."
The doors directly in front of you allow you to see the entrance of your uncle and sweet aunt who together make their way over to you to take a seat beside Queen Alicent.
Aegon's appearance is appropriate, however, due to all the rumors that keep spreading to Dragonstone, his condition is far from the best for a prince of the realm. His tired face with large bags under his eyes and his clear boredom and disinterest in being here is clear.
However, after all he seems to be willing to drink wine and enjoy himself.
But your sweet aunt by his side completely overshadows him once the view is on her and her beautiful sky blue dress with light silver tones and all her bright and sweet look that characterizes her so much.
When they announce the next people and you try not to make a big deal of it once Aegon and Helaena take their seats.
"Prince Aemond Targaryen, second son of King Viserys and Prince Daeron Targaryen, the third and final son of the king."
So both of them, he, now enter the Throne Room and you avoid looking too much, as well as feeling too much.
You try to distract yourself with the fact that you hadn't seen Daeron in a very long time, nor had anyone else, not even your mother or father. You thought he would still be in Oldtown because he wasn't even here for Helaena and Aegon's wedding.
Maybe he really wanted to fly here, but he was not allowed to, maybe because of his age, knowing that Queen Alicent does not like dragons and is very overprotective in that aspect.
But now that you are looking at him, he is tall, very tall. Not as tall as he is, but for his age, he's definitely growing into a man. But even though you want to focus on Daeron, you don't as you focus on him, inevitably.
His walk hasn't changed, neither has that determination, that confidence and that kind of power he possesses just by looking at him, also that fear and respect at the same time.
And his appearance… hasn't changed either.
Maybe his continuous training has made him look a bit stockier of his arms and his body in general, but his hair, his face and his eye patch is the same.
But he gives you the impression that he's even more handsome.
You look away from him in an instant, as everything that happened comes back to you in a matter of seconds, which is inappropriate. But all you can think about is him.
His hugs, kisses, caresses… all those words of love, all those wishes and all those promises… all only to end in an unexplained broken heart. You swore that he and you were destined to burn together. You swore that you would marry in the tradition of your house.
You swore it would be him and you.
But he made his decision.
And now here you are. He's betrothed and so are you, where by the end of the day you'll be married.
You completely avoid looking at his face once he starts to walk up the steps to take a seat next to his brothers, just like Daeron. You don't feel his gaze at any moment, just as you don't dare to look at him either.
When you ask yourself; where is his betrothed?
She must be here for such celebrations if they are betrothed. And you are sure that Floris Baratheon would not want to miss such an important celebration at the Red Keep.
However, he is all alone and his betrothed seems to be nowhere to be found. Doubt lingers but the feast gives you something new to think about when they announce your betrothed.
"Cregan Stark, lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North, the future lord husband of the bride, Y/N Velaryon."
At that moment, everyone at the table rises to greet your betrothed who walks towards you with a kind and respectful smile, looking very well for all this celebration. Or at least most of the people at the table stand up….
You can notice out of the corner of your eye how on Queen Alicent's side some people are still seated, but you don't dare look at them, though you get an idea of who they might be.
Still you focus on your betrothed who bows to the king once he arrives at the table and then makes his way to you to take a seat next to you.
Not before taking your mother's hand to plant a gentle kiss on the back of it, which she accepts with a kind and sweet smile and then turns to you and does the same with more affection.
You smile in his direction as you return his gesture by placing a soft kiss on his cheek and then both of you take a seat, as well as everyone else. When your grandsire, the king, gives a short speech before the feast begins.
And once everything has been said, the feast begins. The music starts and the food is served.
You feel his gaze for a few seconds, not long enough, but you don't notice him at all and continue to enjoy the feast. You talk to your mother from time to time and also to your betrothed, that is if your father and Jace are not talking to him asking him about Winterfell and the Wall.
Your sisters also ask you from time to time if you are feeling well and you can only nod, telling yourself that this is really happening and you have to completely ignore his presence.
When the time comes for the opening of the dance.
Cregan rises from his seat first and offers you his hand to lead you to the center of the Room, which you gladly accept and together you walk to dance in full view of everyone, a traditional Westerosi dance.
It is a simple dance, nothing difficult and you really enjoy it, while you focus your gaze at all times on him, Lord Cregan, who also smiles softly in your direction and does perfectly the right steps, all under the watchful eye of all the nobles present and also of your family.
Both of you stand back to back, and then both of you slowly raise your arms to shoulder height, while you can't help it and turn your gaze towards him, already feeling since the dance started his burning gaze.
Aemond has a meaningful look on his face when your gaze meets his, acting nonchalant, watching you intently, raising his wine glass to his lips.
You can only smile really ungracefully and turn your gaze to the front, continuing to dance and focusing only on your betrothed.
While Aemond at all times… wants this to be over and done with. Though I'd prefer to think this isn't really happening.
He feels like an alluring force, as he can't take his eye off of you, looking at you so beautiful in that dress, knowing in an instant that this is not the dress you would have worn for their wedding. But you still look really beautiful.
A true Targaryen beauty.
A warm feeling envelops him every second he sees you there, so perfect, dancing, smiling and catching everyone's attention, his especially at your every move, not realizing that his face gets softer every second as he watches you.
However… everything is replaced by hatred and anger when those smiles are directed at Lord Stark. And by the way he looks at you too… he wants to burn everything to the ground, clenching his hands into fists.
"Easy, little brother."
Aegon murmurs behind him, over his shoulder, amused, his breath smelling very strongly of wine.
"Everyone can sense how you're starting to wake up. You don't want to cause a fucking scene at our niece's wedding because of your jealousy, do you? Grandsire won't be too pleased."
Aemond can only feel that rage come over him more, knowing full well that Aegon has no intention of calming him down, but to provoke him further and do exactly as he has told him.
And he is succeeding.
Especially in the moment when he again focuses on you, smiling at Lord Stark, glowing and looking this beautiful but for him, Lord Stark, not for him, the one she was supposed to marry and be completely his.
And he regrets it so much, he regrets it so much that he called off their wedding and also leaving you without explanation, knowing that this is exactly what he deserves, to see you happy without him.
As the dance of just the two of them ends and a new song begins, in which he watches as Y/N, his Y/N, places one of her hands on Lord Stark's shoulder and the other intertwines with his, his other hand on her waist, this only making him angrier.
A more choreographed dance begins and the nobles in pairs also begin to join the center of the Room to dance, beginning the real celebration.
And Aemond sinking in his own misery, thinks that he could have survived watching Y/N dance with Lord Stark at an appropriate distance. But now they are both chest to chest, smiling and talking about something with all the nobles also dancing around them.
He doesn't understand that important thing that the two of them are talking about, but he doesn't like it at all, neither does the closeness. In fact he doesn't like any of it.
All he wants is to get her away from him, away from all of this and make her his, finally, no matter what.
His breathing starts to get heavier by the moment, thinking that by the time this is over, she will already be married to him and they will go away together, where they will have to consummate the marriage.
The very thought makes him only feel more enraged and more courageous to snatch her from his arms, not caring about her family and his, not caring about his grandsire and his words, not caring about his mother's words either about "you have to control yourself and think of us."
Not only does Aegon notice her state, so does his grandsire, who watches him intently and cautiously, noticing the look on Lord Stark's face more than menacing, about to do something foolish even though he was very clear with him before attending this feast.
He also catches the eye of Rhaenyra, who watches her husband and subtly points to her half-brother, instantly Daemon knowing exactly what is going on.
And how could he not know?
It reminds him of him many years ago, also watching the woman he loves, about to marry someone else who is not him.
He places a small half smile, bringing his wine glass to his lips, watching his nephew attentively and amused, almost expectantly, wondering even though Aemond has his full attention on you, if he will finally do something about it or what.
"Aemond," his grandsire mumbles to him.
But Aemond, beginning to go into his madness, doesn't watch or listen to him, watching you intently.
"Aemond, I'm warning you," his grandsire insists.
"Oh come on grandsire," Aegon tells him amused, "You know it will be useless. I can tell you don't know him."
And even though Aemond is immersed in his madness, he still thinks and remembers the words of his grandsire and mother.
"I will overlook that it was you who prevented the raven to Storms Ends from arriving when you knew perfectly well that your betrothed should have been here days ago."
His mother tells him seriously and annoyed.
"Now you will attend this wedding alone and I expect you to behave yourself. Just as I expect you to come to terms with the idea that you will marry Lady Baratheon by the end of next month, without protest."
"And you are not going to commit any of your foolishness at the Y/N wedding, do you understand me?" Otto immediately threatens him, "You're not going to talk to Y/N, you're not going to threaten Lord Stark either, and you're going to let the wedding happen in peace, is that clear? "
Aemond feels a bitter feeling, continuing to watch you attentively and him watching threateningly, with the fire in his body about to explode.
"You know what your problem is, grandsire?" Aegon says to Otto Hightower, who watches him seriously and on the verge of losing his patience, "You question the blood of the dragon too much."
And in that same instant, Aemond rises from his seat in a confident movement, with his gaze firmly fixed on you, who are completely disinterested in what is happening with him, completely focused on Lord Stark.
And Aemond's movement completely catches the attention of his grandsire, his mother, also your mother and father, who in an instant look at each other, definitely remembering the past.
Aemond makes his way towards you, not caring about anything.
He doesn't care about his mother and grandsire, he doesn't care about the war that will probably befall them when his father dies, the only thing he cares about at this moment is you.
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taglist:
@iloveallmyboys @libdarkheart @angelianlearp @happinessinthebeing @targaryenmoony @tempt-ress @callsign-blue @twobluejeans @luna-salem @literatureluster @thekinslayersswordhand @queenofshinigamis @bugshideaway @minttea07 @itszzmoon
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vexxandra · 10 days
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what is coming? (timeless pick-a-card)
for those who need comfort, or dream of the future, this might be the pac for you ☆ 3-17-23 .
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PILE ONE ; " i'm so tired " ...
how long have you been keeping yourself awake? it's up to you to decide whether that statement was metaphorical or literal, but the point still stands. can't catch sleep? it's not your fault. you don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, you deserve to rest. sleep is a blessing that you will catch up on soon. the mistakes of your past shouldn't stop you from rejuvenating yourself. i'm sorry this relief from life has been taken from you.
i can see that what's coming toward you is more closure. conflicts being resolved, and action being taken to prevent future problems from happening. peace is coming, and more spiritual peace- however you may find it. you are finding what is lost or missing; a confidant, a part of yourself you lost, or a sense of responsibility. this will make you feel a little less confused in this dark time. whatever you find, make sure it benefits you, not hinders you.
extra: the number 7 or 16, cheerleading, studying, driving/cars, violent - carolesdaughter, the need to please, disappointment, "you are more than your thoughts, more than your past" green, spring months, gaming to cope, betrayal, "you deserve love because you exist"
PILE TWO ; " i am fighting " ...
you are so strong. your strength is commendable, and so is your resolve. you are making me smile. things seem to be good for you right now, but have they always? no one is born to be so resilient, it's our experiences that shape us to be who we are, and yours have molded you into a warrior, pile two. you are so strong, have you heard that before? i feel like you don't get recognized enough. but you suffered, and i see that. i see that, and i see you. thank you, for never giving up.
stability is reaching you. i feel like you have a 'fake it till you make it mindset' in order to reach what you truly want. but i see that you will soon have whatever you desire. it will be unmistakably yours, and you'll know in your heart when you find it. you will be emotionally fulfilled, and reach a state of kind of 'enlightenment' where you're like, i know what im doing now, it all makes sense. it will be a moment where everything clicks, and everything settles down.
extra: pink, red, gold, orange, chains of pearls, instruments, stuffy, nostalgia, memories like the color yellow, may, june, 2018, "this feels right", back to the future/past, vintage, aesthetic, dream girl vibes, photos, "everything is okay"
PILE THREE ; " where is the sun ? " ...
you have lost your sun, pile three. you remind me of a sunflower, looking for the sun to turn to, but what happens if the sun isn't there? you are aimless and lost, trying to find what has been stolen from you. but it hasn't, has it? it's time to take off your lenses, and realize that this isn't healthy. you have been stuck in a cycle for a while, and i feel like you kind of actually trap yourself in it. i get it, it's better to be trapped than face the reality. but is the pain you're causing yourself really worth it? please find strength in yourself to break free. trust me, it's better than staying. im rooting for you, pile three.
what's coming toward you is the strength to pull yourself out of this negative situation. i see you putting yourself first, and sparing yourself of further heartbreak, disappointment, and sadness. i can see that this will sort of be a tower moment for you; the tower has always been shaky, but it's only now that you are fleeing from it, and i'm proud of you. it's hard, but you can do it. after, you might find yourself stuck in your own thoughts secondguessing, but you did the right thing. never forget that. i also see someone of importance entering your life, a little after this.
extra: dont worrry darling, omori, pink beats, neurodivergence, black, alternative culture, crosses, pinky promises, mother figure, chocolate, willy wonka and the chocolate factory, balloons, lamps, llamas, "why would you leave me?", "because i couldn't stay", polish
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moonlightazriel · 19 days
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Prologue /// Azriel X F!Reader
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Summary: Y/N Blackbeak keep dreaming about the same male for decade’s now, she wonders what this all could mean.
Word Count: 751
Warnings: None for this part.
Notes: Welcome to my new series, i hope you guys enjoy it just as much as i do. I was so excited to share this with you all.
Main Masterlist
Worlds Apart Masterlist
The sound of leathery wings sounded above her head, she looked up expecting to see the black wyvern hovering over her head. She blinked a couple of times, landing in front of her was the male, he had onyx hair, brown skin and the prettiest hazel eyes she had ever seen. His sharp jaw and plush lips were forming a smile, he was smiling at her. 
She tried to touch his face, retrieving her hand quickly before her iron claws could do any damage to his smooth skin. The male shook his head, marred fingers grasping her wrist. He lifted her hand, pink warm lips ghosting over her cold skin, a kiss of midnight on the back of her hand.
She closed her eyes, feeling warmth spread across her chest, that thing skipping a few beats as he pulled her closer by the waist, still holding her hand. She waited for the kiss, feeling his breath fanning over her face, he smelled like night chilled mist and cedar. The scent wrapping itself around her and calming her wild heart.
“You have plagued my dreams for centuries.” She spoke, her voice hoarse like she had been silent for so very long. “Will I ever see you one day?” Her eyes watered. 
The same dream, the same male, but she never found him, and she had spent so long looking for him. She knew he was different from her lovers, from anyone she had ever met. She knew she had to find him, see him at least once, to bring peace to her tortured mind. 
With all the gentleness in the world, he cradled her face in between his hands, the rough skin brushing against the sides of her jaw. Those beautiful hazel eyes, tinted with specs of gold looked into hers, like they could see the fractured soul underneath the brave facade she tried so hard to keep together.
“Don’t wrap your pretty head around it.” His lips touched her forehead, and she leaned into that feeling, the only time she actually had peace was in the arms of the stranger that walked on her dreams. “You won’t have to wait much longer, but please..” She watched as worry laced his features.
She wanted to soothe the furrow of his eyebrows, with a cold hand, she brushed the tip of her finger against his cheek, slowly going upwards until she traced his eyebrows, the left one and then the right one.
“Whatever you want to say, do not worry, please.” She begged and the male nodded.
“Do not be hurt if I don't remember you, I'm not even sure you will remember me.” He chuckled, the sound lighting something within her heart.
“Like I could ever forget you.” She traced his lips.
“The Mother works in mysterious ways, all I know is that our time is coming soon.” He warned and her heart filled with hope, would she finally be able to feel his arms around her waist and his hard chest against her for real? No more play pretend, just reality.
“I can’t wait to meet you.” She allowed herself to feel that love, slowly taking roots in her heart, taking her by surprise.
“Soon, my love, soon.” He promised, his lips capturing hers in a delicate kiss.
She woke up, sweat coated her forehead and her heart hammered against her ribcage knocking the air out of her lungs. She felt dizzy, her fingers touching her tingly lips. The early rays of sunshine invading her room, forcing her to shut her eyes tightly together, the image of him burning bright as she did so. 
Y/N got up, her body protesting but she had things to tend to. She was able to relax under the scalding water of her bath, but the dark circles still marked her eyes, giving her a tired aspect. She inspected the bumpy scar on the left side of her face, two smaller ones marred her eyebrow, missing the eye for an inch, and the biggest one was from the beginning of her hairline to her cheek, irregular skin patched together forming that monstrosity on her once beautiful face.
But just like her, the male also had his scars, and he never seemed disgusted by hers, he always looked at her with love and admiration, she was sure that when they found each other for the first time, he wouldn’t judge her. Nothing would be different between them, her heart just wondered when that meeting would happen.
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆
Taglist: @fieldofdaisiies @blackgirlmagicforever @a-frog-with-a-laptop @going-through-shit @asweetblueberry2 @roses-r-red54330 @mis-lil-red @sheblogs @hibye02 @impossibelle @glitterypirateduck @zeroangelo13 @sekiro1310
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cheetochild989 · 6 days
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When... the...
Light is running low
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And the shadows start to grow
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And the places that you know
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Seem like fantasy
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There's a light inside your soul
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That's still shining in the cold
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With the truth
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The promise in our hearts
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...Don't Forget...
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I'm with you in the dark...
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bloomingdayswithyou · 25 days
Note
can i request jiwoong x m reader angst please !!
Shattered Dreams
Pairing: Jiwoong x m!reader (both idols)
Words: 646
Warnings: angst, homophobia
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Under the dawning of a pale, overcast sky, Jiwoong's heart throbbed with a mix of trepidation and sorrow. The weight of his secret pressed upon him like a leaden cloak, threatening to suffocate him.
He glanced furtively around the deserted practice room, his anxious eyes searching for any sign of intrusion. His gaze fell upon the crumpled photograph tucked away in the corner of his dance bag. It was a stolen moment captured in time—a tender kiss shared with the one person who made his heart sing. A bittersweet smile crept across Jiwoong's lips as his fingers traced the contours of his lover's face.
"m/n..." he murmured to himself, his voice barely a whisper. "Why can't we love each other?" The harsh reality of their situation gnawed at Jiwoong's soul. As a member of the newly debuted boy group, ZEROBASEONE, their every move was scrutinized by the watchful eyes of the public. The revelation of his past involvement in a BL series had ignited a firestorm of controversy among Korean fans.
Prejudice and intolerance suffocated their love like a venomous serpent. Jiwoong's management, fearing a public backlash, had delivered an ultimatum—end the relationship or face the consequences. The pressure mounted with each passing day, threatening to shatter the fragile bond they had forged.
Jiwoong knew he couldn't risk his career, not after all the blood, sweat, and tears he had poured into his dream. But the thought of losing m/n filled him with an unspeakable anguish. He couldn't bear the pain of watching his beloved slip away into the shadows.
As the sun began its descent, casting long, dreary shadows across the city, Jiwoong made his way to their secret meeting spot—the rooftop of his apartment building. A sense of foreboding washed over him as he opened the door to the place where they had shared so many stolen moments.
M/n was already there, his head buried in his hands. Jiwoong's heart sank as he witnessed the silent despair etched upon his lover's face. He sat down beside Reader, taking his cold hands in his own.
"Jiwoong-ah," M/n whispered brokenly, his voice thick with unshed tears. "I knew this day would come." Jiwoong swallowed hard, fighting back his own tears. "I'm so sorry, m/n. I never wanted to hurt you."
"It's not your fault," M/n replied, his voice barely a whisper. "It's the world's fault. They don't understand us. They don't understand our love." Jiwoong leaned forward and pressed his forehead against m/n's. Their tears mingled as they clung to each other, desperate to savor every remaining moment.
The weight of their forbidden love bore down upon them, crushing their spirits beneath its relentless force. As darkness enveloped the park, Jiwoong and m/n knew their time was running out. With heavy hearts, they exchanged a final kiss, a bittersweet farewell filled with unspoken promises and shattered dreams.
"I'll never forget you," m/n murmured against Jiwoong's lips. "No matter what." And with that, they parted ways, disappearing into the shadows like ships passing in the night. Jiwoong watched as m/n left the rooftop closing the door behind him, a profound sense of loss gnawing at his soul.
In the days and nights that followed, Jiwoong struggled to come to terms with the sacrifice he had made. The cheers of the crowd and the adulation of his fans felt hollow, a cruel reminder of the love he had been forced to forsake.
And m/n? He carried the weight of their shattered dreams with stoic resignation. He continued to perform on stage, his heart filled with a bittersweet longing for the one who had stolen his heart. Their story together had come to an end, but the echoes of their forbidden love would linger in their hearts forever—a poignant reminder of the pain and beauty of a love that was never meant to be.
.
.
.
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angelaestheticbaby · 6 months
Text
Safe in your arms
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Summary: Aleksander would do anything to protect you.
Warnings: some gunshot, mention of war, not panic attack but close to it, lmk if I missed one
A/N: It's my first request. I hope you like it. Also, requests are open!!!
You were an Inferni grisha. It was your first mission with the black general himself. You weren't exactly a fighter. You were innocent, and gentle with every soul. You were afraid of this mission. Not really knowing what to do.
You had only heard of the general from the tales of the soldiers about him. They all described him as ruthless and merciless, that he had no limits. You were scared, you just wanted to do your part and leave alive. You took a deep breath as you knocked on the general's door, your stomach was churning.
You heard a few footsteps before the door eventually opened, revealing a pair of dark grey eyes. The general smiled.
"What do you need, little one?" he asked in a calm voice.
"I...the Commander said that we need to leave now" you told him quietly. You hands were shaking as you felt so close to the war.
He noticed your discomfort immediately, "First time in the field, little one?" he asked while closing the door behind himself. "Take my advice, don't be so tense. Relax, there is no need for you to fear anyone. When the time comes, our powers will do the heavy lifting. For now, I just need you ready for action, understood?"
"I..uh..thank you sir" you nodded.
"You're welcome." He smiled gently. "But please, call me Aleksander. I'm not a fan of formalities" he looked slightly annoyed with the subject. "It's your first mission, yes? Tell me, what kind of grisha are you?"
"I'm an...Inferni..si- Aleksander" you corrected yourself with a smile.
"Ah, I've seen how dangerous your powers can be" he said with a slight grin "But you're also a smart girl, you wouldn't use them carelessly. I want you by my side for the deployment, you'll provide cover to help your partners on the battlefield" he was walked away from you, but he suddenly stopped and turned back.
"Oh and, little one?" you nodded. "Good luck"
"Thank you" you beamed at Aleksander.
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The gunshots and screams rang in your ears, they were getting louder and louder, but you were too scared to move. Your heart was pounding out of your chest and your breath was coming back in short gulps. You curled up under a wreck and tried to protect yourself.
Suddenly you felt two arms wrap around you, the heat of the general's body was surprisingly comforting and for a moment you were able to forget the danger you were in.
"Shh, it's alright, little one, don't be afraid" he whispered in your ear.
You sobbed out quietly and held tight onto Aleksander.
"I..I don't want to dieee" you mumbled.
"You won't, I promise" his voice was so soft and gentle, "I'm holding you, I won't let anything happen to you."
A particularly loud gunshot rang out from behind you and you flinched in fear, but the general's hold grew tighter. "Stay calm, and keep breathing. You'll be safe as long as I'm here" he tried to calm you.
"Why did you even come with us when you're this scared...? I'll take you back" he whispered into your ear. Ashiver ran down your body, you immediatly felt safe.
"I... I thought I could be of use" you responded hesitantly, unsure if you were doing enough, "I'm trying, I just... don't want to die"
You felt how tightly the general held you, how he was so much larger than you. You felt safe.
"You're doing fine" he assured. "Just stay here, and whatever you do, don't look out in the open" he took a deep breath in and out, "It's going to be fine"
A particularly loud blast caused you to flinch and the general pulled you closer to him, "Just stay close to me" you stayed curled up tight against him. You could feel his warmth against your body.
"I will always protect you" he said softly. "Nothing will ever hurt you while I live"
Outside, the sound of gunshots continued to echo through the air, but you two didn't care. For the first time in forever, you felt safe.
"But... I have to say... You should work on your fear, it might seem cute now" he teased. "But it can get you killed"
"I'd do anything...Anything to prove to you" you said firmly. He leaned down a bit, your faces was just an inch apart.
You felt him move closer to you, you could feel how his lips touched your ear when he spoke.
"You don't have to prove yourself to me, little one" he whispered, "You only need to stay safe"
He was still holding you tightly, but every once in a while he would loosen his grip slightly. He wanted to show you that with him you weren't an inexperienced, insecure girl. You were under the protection of a powerful general, and nobody dared to lay their hands on you while you were with him.
Before you could do anything, his lips touched yours.
That kiss made you sure about everything he just said.
The whole world around you disappeared as his lips pressed against yours. It was nothing like you had ever felt before, it was as if your soul was on fire and your body was going to explode.
You couldn't hear anything else anymore, the sound of the gunshots was completely drowned out. Only now did you realize that the general's lips were still pressed against yours. Every part of your body felt as if it was burning. You knew in that moment, that nothing could pull you apart anymore.
You were safe, you were strong. But above all you were with him.
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Illicit affairs (chapter 2)
Chapter 1
Summary: Bucky and Y/n are in arranged marriage. Bucky is having an affair. This is all it is about... Let's see where Y/n's fate lies... Should we?
Pairings: Bucky x reader, Bucky x Dot ...
Genre: angst, affair, unrequited love
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next day
Y/n's POV
The tea kettle's loud whistle pulled me back from my thoughts, and I remembered a moment—a moment that stung with disappointment.
As I took down the tea, the warmth of the steam evoked the chilling recollection of our wedding night. In the intimate dance of shared vows and whispered promises, Bucky's words had pierced the veil of anticipation. "Don't ever expect anything from this marriage," he had declared, the weight of his words settling like a heavy shroud.
The routine of making tea felt a bit sad, each step taking me back to that night. The sounds of cups and boiling water seemed to replay that moment when our hopes started to crumble.
As I lifted the cup, it held not just tea but also memories. The warmth of the liquid was mixed with the bitterness of that night, a night where promises felt broken. The smell of the tea carried the ghosts of our wedding, a reminder of a vow that seemed to fade, and the quiet acceptance of a marriage that had lost its sparkle.
I sigh when I see he's gone, probably meeting her under the excuse of jogging. Disappointment settles in my chest, and it feels like trust is slipping away. The air is thick with things we're not saying, and I take a deep breath to steady myself.
I decide to hit the supermarket while he is away, so I head to our shared bedroom to get ready.
half an hour later
at supermarket
In the bustling mart, my eyes catch a plushie perched high on the shelf. A whimsical desire takes hold, but I bite my lip, hesitating—I'm a grown woman, after all. Glancing around, I make sure no one's watching, and then, in a spontaneous moment, I decide to go for it.
Standing on my toes, I reach, my fingers brushing the soft plushie. Just as I stretch, someone's chest presses against my back. Startled, I turn to find a tall figure in a leather jacket, their presence both surprising and comforting.
Those green eyes meet mine, the contrast between the familiar and the unknown. Bucky's eyes held the depth of the sea, turbulent and mysterious, while this stranger's gaze resembled something serene about them, like a forest bathed in sunlight. It's a peaceful encounter, and for a moment, I forget the complexities that linger in the shadows. Unlike the stormy intensity of Bucky's ocean-blue gaze, these eyes carried a calm, a sense of peaceful allure that drew me in. With dark blonde hair and a hint of freckles, this stranger feels like a breath of fresh air, a divergence from the familiar.
Startled by the sudden closeness, I gasp and take an involuntary step back. My retreat, however, is met with a minor mishap—I lightly crash into the shelves. In that split second, just as I brace for impact, I feel the stranger's hand at the back of my head. It's a gentle touch, preventing my head from making contact with the shelves, even though the impact would have been light. The unexpected act of kindness leaves me momentarily flustered, caught between embarrassment and gratitude.
"I-I-..I'm sorry," I stutter, feeling the heat creeping up to my cheeks. Suddenly, words escape me, and I find myself at a loss, caught between embarrassment and an unspoken gratitude for the stranger's unexpected kindness.
"Are you okay?" I manage to ask, my heart beating a little faster. There's an unfamiliar feeling swirling within me, and for the first time in my life, it feels right.
The man chuckles, a light shake of his head accompanied by a crinkle near his eyes. He smirks, revealing a set of little white teeth, and speaks softly, "No worries, my lady… Actually, I should be the one asking you, are you okay, miss?" His green eyes lock onto mine, and a warmth spreads through me. I gulp down the breath that got punched out of me and find myself nodding, still unable to find words for the whirlwind of emotions. My brain insists it's wrong, but my heart seems to have its own answer ready.
In that fleeting moment, it feels like time stops. I find myself smiling, trying to take in every detail of his form—the way he styles himself, his unique way of speaking. It's as if everything about him becomes the focus in that small span of time—a love at first sight that catches me off guard.
8 months earlier
Dot's POV
"I can do it," I tell myself, taking a deep breath before entering the interview. My head held high, I step into the room, the confident click-clack of my heels echoing against the marble floor.
2 hours later
Walking through the park, I find a bench, sighing sadly as I take a seat. Muttering to myself, "Ugh, not again," I slump down, frustration evident in my sighs. "Why do I always get nervous?!" I groan, burying my head in my hands. "At this rate, I'll stay poor for the rest of my life," I whine, feeling overwhelmed.
Suddenly, a handkerchief touches me, and I look up to see a handsome man extending it towards me. His ocean-blue eyes draw me in, and for a moment, I'm lost, drowning in their depths. It takes me a few minutes to realize I've been staring, and I snap out of my thoughts, shaking my head. I smile at the man, stuttering, "Oh, I...th-thank you, sir. I'm sorry. You really didn't have to stop to help me, but thank you," I say, grateful and slightly flustered.
"Oh, my mother taught me better than to ever leave a crying woman or to ever make a woman cry," the man replies, smirking charmingly with a wink and adds "Especially when it's a beautiful woman like you, miss." As those words leave his lips, it's as if the man's looks, which were already a source of fluttering butterflies, now weave a spell on my heart. I feel a blush creeping up as I glance down, nodding shyly in acknowledgment. "Thank you," I murmur softly, accepting the handkerchief with a light touch, my heart still dancing to the charming melody of his words.
"So, if you don't mind me asking, not trying to be nosy, but may I know why you are crying, beautiful?" The man asks, taking a seat beside me while maintaining a respectable distance. His blue eyes, as usual, lock onto my brown ones, managing to steal my breath away. I maintain my composure, nodding as I reply, "Just knowing I messed up my job interview." Sighing, I look down, my fingers clenching the soft fabrics of the given handkerchief, my lower lip caught between my teeth as I reflect on the interview.
The sound of a clap pulls me out of my thoughts, and I find the man smiling at me. "Oo! I think I know how to bring up your mood…Wanna have a cup of coffee with me? I know the best place." I look at him, unsure, considering he's still a stranger. Before I can voice my thoughts, he continues, "Oh! Sorry…I forgot to introduce myself. I'm James… James Buchanan Barnes. In short, Bucky or Buck." He extends his hand as he introduces himself.
I smile involuntarily as I take his hand and shake it. "Pleasure to meet you, James. I'm Dottore… Just call me Dot," I introduce myself with a hint of warmth in my smile.
Third person's POV
Who would've thought that this random meeting could turn into something so special? It became a beautiful story, defying expectations and creating a connection that wasn't supposed to happen. From a simple park encounter, something magical unfolded—a tale of love that wasn't allowed, something forbidden, filled with both joy and heartbreak. In simple words, it turned into an 'Illicit Affair,' a story written by fate and emotions, painting a picture of love in unexpected places.
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Bitter always follows the sweet,
especially when it comes to love.
Especially when it comes to forbidden love.
-Karina Halle
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(WANNA GUESS THE GUY WHO Y/N MET AT THE SUPERMARKET?😆I GAVE ENOUGH HINTS...EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE HIS FACE FEATURES 🤭 BUT HE IS FROM SOMETHING SUPERNATURAL GENRE TV SERIES AND OLD ONE)
Note: Hey guys! Hope you like it. English is actually my second language so if there's any mistake you can inform me by messaging me privately. And PLEASE REBLOG AND DON'T STEAL MY WORK. Please like and comment too so, that I can know your views. Thank you for reading guys! Have a nice day and please comment if you wanna be tagged in.
Taglist: @angstysebfan @cjand10@learisa@themorningsunshine @binkszamsstuff
@dreamerglassesgirl @winterslove1917 @perfectpieslimeprune @nikkivillar @bethexo07 @vicmc624 @pattiemac1 @ozwriterchick
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byechristopher · 4 months
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In Another Life.
– CHRIS STURNIOLO ANGST.
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Author's note: omg hi, again. You'll soon find out how much I love angst, trauma and just "dark" fics. It's a way to express myself every once in a while. I hope you all like it, if you have any requests in mind, feel free to let me know. I will make it up to you all with some fluff, I promise, lol. Do not copy/steal my work. :)
Warnings: (not proof-read) this is pure angst, mentions of death, coping with death in general, trauma bonding. If any of this is triggering to you, do not read, please. Have a great day, instead.
Playlist:
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It is only 6:00AM and I am up and running, ready to start my long day, although my sluggish gait says otherwise. I always loved waking up so early in the morning – it gave me time to start doing things when people were still sleeping. It is always a struggle to keep myself awake, though.
"I'm outside."
The screen lights up and I can see Chris' name from here – he must be outside already. I sigh and I quickly put my jacket and scarf on, not forgetting my boots, of course. With my bag in my hand, I quickly leave the house, trying to be as quiet as possible so that my mom doesn't wake up.
Chris is waiting in the car, I take a better look at my surroundings – the fog makes it hard for me to see, it's dark and it's cold, and the humidity makes it look like it rained.
"Hey, Chris. Thanks for picking me up." I mumble, he nods with an understanding look on his face. He's got that sickening purple colour under his eyes and his skin is even paler than usual. We match, he looks like a mess, too.
How couldn't he, anyway? It was a difficult day today. It's only been three years and how could we ever forget?
Me and Chris have known each other for a long time. Ever since we were babies – our families were very close. That was until my parents got divorced and we never saw my father ever again; made my mom isolate herself. My father came back one day, asking for forgiveness for leaving like this. Not from my mom, from me. I didn't want to trust him but I still talked to him every now and then. Now, Chris never really liked me and I never really liked him, it's not like we ever had an actual conversation. Before something terrible happened, to the both of us. On the same day. On the same plane. The plane crashed – my father happened to be there and Chris' best friend happened to be there.
We were both devastated so we found ourselves hanging out more than usual – is it called trauma bonding? I think so. That's what we did. Bonded over trauma. Because that's what we needed most; a person who knows and feels what we feel, who goes through the same experience. I don't think it was he healthiest thing to do, but who is really healthy inside on this earth?
"Give me, like.. fifteen minutes. I'll be back, okay?" he says and I give him a reassuring hug, pecking his cheek. I nod, watching him go visit his best friend's grave while I visit my father's.
"I can't believe it's already been three years since you've been gone." I chuckle, making sure everything is clean and the flowers are nicely put in the vase, "right when you were about to actually spend time with me, hm?" I can feel the tears in my eyes, and every time I speak, it's like I'm digging an invisible knife deeper into my heart.
I don't know how long it's been because I'm still cleaning and trying not to think about anything, but I see Chris walking over to me. It's so obvious that he's been crying, but he offers a smile anyway. His nose is red, it's kind of cute.
"You feeling okay?" he wraps an arm around my shoulders, giving me a reassuring squeeze. I nod.
"What did I always tell you? Everything happens for a reason." I chuckle, wiping the tears away from my eyes as we walk away, and towards the car.
"I used to hate hearing that. But I believe it now." he nods and clears his throat, "Connor believed it, too." it took him a while to say his best friend's name without crying. I told him that Connor wouldn't be happy to see him crying like this – that was the only way to make him stop.
"I gotta go to work, now. But we'll meet later, yes?" I say, wrapping my arms around his waist, looking up. The combination of the sky, his tears and his pale skin make his eyes go icy blue, I can't help but smile a little bit. He nods and cups my cheeks, bringing me closer to him to give me a soft kiss on the lips.
I'm not sure what me and Chris have going on. We definitely hang out a lot, we kiss, I basically have all of my stuff in his house, we have sex, but we've never said anything about relationship, or anything like that for that matter. We've been going through the most traumatic and difficult experience in our lives, so I feel like we desperately need the affection but we're the only ones who feel the same. So we just.. do stuff together. I try not to think about it too much.
I definitely not want to think about it when I'm in his arms. We're in front of the fireplace, sitting down on the carpet. I'm sitting in between his legs with my back pressed against his chest, and his arms wrap all the way around my shoulders and knees (that are pressed to my chest), keeping me warm.
"I'm so glad to have you here with me, being by my side on this horrible day, every year." he whispers in my ear and I close my eyes.
"So am I. You're making me feel like I'm not as alone as I thought I was." I whisper back and let my head fall on his shoulder, turning my head so that I'm able to look up at him. We sit in silence for a bit.
"I was thinking.. what you always say. Everything happens for a reason. What if.. what if all of this never happened? What if they were both still alive, what if our families kept being this close, what if we kept hating each other.. would we still find a way to be where we are now?" his voice is low and steady, I can see the fire moving in the reflection of his glistening eyes, "or was this tragedy meant to happen for us to find what we wanted in each other?"
I stay silent for a little bit. I've thought about this a million times and every time makes me go crazier than the previous one, "is love supposed to grow in souls and bodies that are filled with so much pain? Because if so, then it's nothing like what they taught us love would feel like."
"Do you think love is what we feel for each other?" he presses a kiss on my warm cheek.
"I don't know." I say truthfully, "I think that we both find shelter in each other's pain. We feel the need to be heard, to be understood, and then we want to hear the other, to understand their pain. To help each other, to be there whenever they might need, to care."
"Isn't that what love is?" he asks innocently, "in its most tragic form?" he looks me in the eyes and smiles softly.
"I suppose so.. yeah.." I say because, indeed, love could also bloom in shattered hearts, it doesn't always have to be flowers and rainbows, "and to answer your question.. I think I would definitely imagine myself loving you, without all of these." my voice is as soft as it can get.
"I would definitely fall in love with you, too." he says, looking into my eyes. And for a moment, I imagine us just like this. In a life where we would be happier. In a life where we would be able to love each other, without anything holding us back, in a life where we could keep the people that we wanted in our lives. In a life where we would have the space and time to express our feelings, understand our feelings.
"So, stay with me forever and even longer than that.." he says and I smile, leaving a trail of kisses on his neck, all the way up to his cheek and lips, "I might be able to become someone who loves you even in the good times."
"That's a promise, then. Because I'm definitely staying, till I'm ready to love you in the good times, too." I smile and slowly turn around to face him this time, wrapping both of my arms and legs around him, like a koala.
He laughs, he's hugging me and kissing me softly, "want me to make you some hot chocolate?"
"Yes, please."
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faerytreealtars · 1 year
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♡ Letters from your Guardian Angels ♡
Welcome, my dear ones, to this pick-a-card, or I should say Image to receive a letter channeled just for you by your divine guardian angels. So trust your intuition or take your time to breathe calmly and choose the image that calls to you! Remember to only take what resonates with your heart. I hope this letter helps you find guidance for your journeys ahead! ♡.
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Group 1 | Group 2 | Group 3
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Pile One: [Cards: Seven Of pentacles, Five of Wands, Nine of pentacles, two of pentacles & The Empress]
My Dearest Pile one we see you working so hard to overcome all the obstacles and challenges presented to you. You are not afraid to face and at times battle the demons within you, for this we are ever so proud of you and, do indeed, feel very lucky to be able to call you our little star. We encourage you to continue working on whatever creative endeavours you are currently pursuing, be it as a hobby or a hopeful future career opportunity. We see great success for you if you continue to hold belief in yourself just as we will always see the potential and believe in you. You, My dear will bring more change than you let yourself believe. This change, of course, must begin within you. Keep up the great work and remember you are unconditionally loved. Your, Guardian angels ♡
Extra: ♡ "My favourite things" -the sound of music ♡"Over the Rainbow" - The Wizard of Oz ♡ Faeries ♡ Pink and green ♡ Nature rebirthed ♡ Blooming flowers ♡ A little mouse ♡
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Pile Two:
[Cards: The Empress (reversed), Four of cups, Queen of Swords (reversed), Five of swords & the Devil ]
Dear Pile Two
We know you are struggling, times seem bleak, the future seems hopeless. Even if you have not quite admitted this to yourself we can see how your soul weeps. Even though the days seem dark and the path ahead an unending struggle through jagged thorns and twisted trees, please know we are here for you. Don't give into defeat just yet as brighter days can still be ahead of you. You are not seeing the world clearly right now and those you call loved ones or dear friends are not as loyal to you as you are to them, they are not good for you, I'm sure you know deep down who we are referring to. There are others though who wish to help, ourselves included. While they may tell you things that are truthful for you to handle hearing at the present moment we urge you not to push them away. To finish this letter we simply wish to say even in the darkest nights you can find the stars.
Your Ever-faithful Guardian Angels.
Extra: Lilith Sign  ♡ "out with the old and in with the new"  ♡ Self-help books  ♡ Black Cat  ♡ Sad eyes  ♡ Wounded child  ♡
(Pile two I would like to say I don't know what each of you are going through I'm sure it differs for each of you but I usually take reversals yet your Angels insisted that they remained reversed and I will also mention while channeling your letter I got a lot of dark and upsetting images within my mind, I won't say much more in case of triggering any individuals. I would just like you all to know I am sending great amounts of love and support to you. If you need any advice or just someone to talk to, don't be afraid to send a message ♡ )
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Pile Three:
[Cards: Two of swords, The magician, Page of wands, the chariot, Six of Wands ]
Dear Pile Three
We first wish to say we are so very happy, overjoyed even, for you! You are making such big strides toward accomplishing your dreams and goals. You are awakening the magic within and there is no stopping you! We cannot wait to continue this journey with you. Be assured in your choices and do not doubt what your intuition guides you to do for we promise that if you make a choice to do something that makes your soul happy you will never go wrong! Keep believing in yourself and don't forget to rest now and then. You can't be your best self without first looking after yourself.
From Your Guardian Angels
Extra: Shooting star  ♡ Fireworks  ♡ Celebration  ♡ Sun Signs  ♡ Red  ♡ Good Luck spells  ♡ Orange Butterfly  ♡ "Go your own way" - Fleetwood Mac  ♡
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I hope you found a letter or a message within them that is of help to you. Until next time I send best wishes to all of you! - Fae
Tarot deck used: Beautiful creatures Tarot
Moon Position: New Moon (0%)
Day of the week: Tuesday - Týr - Masculine energy ideal for taking decisive action, making new goals, or beginning a new task. Avoid conflicts and don't let aggression cloud your emotions. Lucky colours: Red & Orange.
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lewkwoodnco · 2 months
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I take you like you do your tea, with lemon and with honey - Lockwood x Reader/ Locklyle
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And then you’re gone, along with half my hyper heart, leaving me alone with half-formed images of soil, rich and dark, burying what’s left of me. Oh darling, I wanted to write, I fear it is the future I hear calling, and I fear that it is from no further than our garden.
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a/n: it's been a while since I've been inspired to write a fic impromptu and GOD have I missed it!! this was very cathartic to write and is one of my fav pieces of writing yet :) I decided to try something new by writing it in first person, from Lockwood's perspective, to the reader/Lucy (so it could technically also be considered a lockyle fic) there's not exactly a linear storyline heheh and i hope u enjoy!
warnings/tropes: first/second person writing, love??? fluff at least, sickeningly romantic, but also a dash of angst
word count: 720
TAGLIST | MASTERLIST
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I watched you make your first cup of tea on a blustery January morning. The kitchen was too bright, and with the pounding in my head, it hurt my eyes to look. But I watched you add a drizzle of honey and a squeeze of lemon.
What's the point, I asked, of adding both honey and lemon? One sweet, the other sour, only tasting whichever’s sharper in the moment. You smiled at me. You held your cup like it was home. Outside, the curtains were singing and sighing. A new day had begun, just like any other, except now I knew how you took your tea.
You are a thousand different flavours that riddle my tongue blunt all the time. How to handle the scrapbook of memories that you are, I wonder. One moment you’re pressing a flare into my hand, making me promise not to blow up in a fit of recklessness, and the next you're resting your head on my chest, and I am too terrified to breathe.
When I'm in a mood and when you're rough with your words, I burn my tongue on you. A part of me eggs me on, pushes me to be something violent and unforgiving. Another part of me is crippled, and won't move on from the deathly quiet you left behind all those months ago. Tell me how I am supposed to love you when I don't have the capacity to do anything but, I wanted to demand. I was tired. Exhausted. You exhausted me. But still I thought, oh, love is stored in the tea leaves you wrung the very life out of.
What's the point, you say, if we are dizzy with grief as we spiral all the way down to ground zero, again? Then you look at me strange, and I realise no one's spoken. What’s the point, I ask, if we’re only running this into the ground. What’s this, you ask. I leave the door ajar.
On the morning of your trip, we’re having breakfast when George looks out the window and says the garden needs seeing to. He’s right - the grass needs cutting, the weeds need weeding but for a moment I watch the dandelions toss their heads in the wind. And then you’re gone, along with half my hyper heart, leaving me alone with half-formed images of soil, rich and dark, burying what’s left of me. Oh darling, I wanted to write, I fear it is the future I hear calling, and I fear that it is from no further than our garden. That night, I forget to sleep. I sit at the kitchen table just like I did in the morning, and continue watching their ghostly heads sway in a nonexistent breeze. I dream of you, miles away from me, and I humour myself by thinking you can feel the disease rotting away at my heart. It is some dream that you float back home, back to me, on a cloud of hope and contentment. It is some dream that I can make you happy.
I hold you close to my chest when my throat is raw, clutching you desperately like a promise for salvation. You tell me I'm hallucinating, and press a cold pack to my head, and I'm too weak to explain myself. I’m terrible and you don’t know half of it. You yell at me, wrap up my scrapes, and make my tea something bitter awful, and you still don’t know. You sit there at the corner of the table with your pencils, colouring something happy, and you don’t know that you make me half decent.
Every day, I hold you like water in my hands. You are forever slipping away and there is nothing I can do about it. I am no anchor, but rather the rough seas which capsize any hope for freedom from calamity.
There is the sweet, and there is the sour. There is the good, and there is the bad. I take them both. I take it with your palm slotted against mine, grimacing, like a bitter vitamin. I take it all. Just keep your fingers laced with mine.
Maybe love is the brew you use to irrigate my system when you get too sick of my cough. Or, maybe, love is you, and not your tea.
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TAGLIST: @dangelnleif @elenianag080 @snoopyluver20 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @avdiobliss @mitskiswift99 @ahead-fullofdreams @mischivana @houseoftwistedspirits
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opossumloverr · 3 months
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✞°•I DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS•°✞
(Based on this song, I know you know this song. don't lie to me)
Summary:
Turtle bros with a ghost reader!
Warning(s):
Some cursing!
A/N:
I MUST BE DREAMING CAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOST YEAH, sorry, anyways, idk I just felt a little silly today, and I really do love this song. also I'm trying a different style DONT BULLY ME IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO GRADIENT
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It was a chilly October night, the leaves rustled as the four brothers made their way towards an abandoned graveyard. The atmosphere was dark and gloomy, but they were determined to explore the area, for reasons unknown to anyone but themselves.
"I don't like this, guys. Let's turn back," the youngest brother, Mikey, shivered.
"What? No way! You said you were bored, Mikey. This is exactly what we need to get our blood pumping!" another brother exclaimed.
"He was bored, Leo, not us. You didn't have to drag us all here," one of the brothers groaned in annoyance.
"Sorry that Mr. Bootyshaker9000 wanted to stay indoors and rot. I'm preventing the inevitable!" Leo clapped back.
"I'm trying to prevent hitting you with my Tech Bo," Donnie gripped his weapon tighter.
"Try it, you won't," Leo egged Donnie on.
"You little…" Donnie scowled, lifting his weapon before getting interrupted.
"Enough! Fighting is not the memo right now! Now you two cut it out or else I'll…wait, what was that?" the oldest brother paused on his scolding to scope out the area. A pungent smell of perfume floated in the air, and chills went down their spines.
"I'm getting really bad vibes here! I told you we should've gone back to the lair!" Mikey exclaimed.
"Don't be such a party pooper, Mike! It's probably all in our heads," Leo tried to come up with a reasonable explanation, but a gust of wind shut off all of his thoughts.
"What was that?!" Raph exclaimed.
"It's a ghost!" Mikey chattered.
"That is preposterous, Michael. There is no such thing as a ghost-"
"No, he's right."
They all screamed in unison, clinging onto Raph. "AH!"
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《RAPH》
After the shock and some failed punching attempts, he finally decided to talk instead of fight, and it was a delightful conversation
yall sat down and talked for hours, He asked a few questions, and you answered them
he made sure not to ask personal questions, like how you died and stuff (unlike Donnie, that insensitive prick)
was kinda sad when he had to go, but gotta make sure pops doesn't worry,
he promises he'll see you again
a few weeks later you show up in his room, sitting down calmly on his bed, or, erm, floating.
he threw multiple items at you before calming down and realizing that it was you, what were you doing here? how did you know where he lives?
all of those questions were brushed off when he heard that you just wanted to see him, and only him.
his heart pounded in his plastron, you wanted to see him? big ol' him? cue huge tail thumping into the ground
yall talked for HOURS, him talking about Lou Jitsu- wait, you've never watched Lou Jitsu? he's inviting you to family movie night. there's no getting out of this.
over the months, the both of you got close, he no longer throws objects or tries to throw hands when he sees you!
enjoys the company when he lifts weights
"Wow, those seem heavy," you said, impressed by his muscles as he lifted the weights. 
"They are heavy, but don't worry, Raph's got gains!" he replied, flexing his muscles with a curl-up. 
"Can I try?" you asked, reaching out your hands. 
"Sure, but be careful. I'll be here to spot ya!" he said, passing the weights to you. 
However, you forgot that you were transparent and accidentally dropped the weights on his tail, causing him to scream in pain. 
"Oops! I forget I'm transparent sometimes... You just make me feel so alive..." you said sheepishly. 
"I-I make you feel alive?" he questioned, seemingly forgetting the intense pain in his tail.
HES SOSOSO SILLY GUYS I CAN'T
《LEO》
He had never sliced a portal open this fast
before he could dive head-first into his portal you floated in front of it
you just wanted to talk... okay... but he's keeping a close eye on you
a few minutes later he's blabbing about Jupiter Jim to you, you've never watched it? what? do you live under a rock? or... a grave...
and you seem so interested! he could talk about it for hours! you know he could.
he literally clung onto the ground when it was time to leave, complaining as Raph dragged him away
he shouted a quick "See you soon"
he saw you soon alright, in his room, looking at his pile of Jupiter Jim comics curiously
He literally screamed like a girl
Oh! it's just you... where did you come from? oh, you just wanted to see him, not his brothers? him?
boosts up his ego by 100x
"I knew you couldn't get enough of me" type of energy
proceeds to yap about Jupiter Jim some more, what? it's YOUR fault for indulging in his hyperfixations
yall are the talker and listener duo
"And so Jupiter Jim was all like- pew pew pew! and the aliens were all like- Ohno! and then- hey, hey [NAME], are ya listening?" He questioned,
"Mhm, go on, I'm all ears"
Leo's eyes widened, and small churrs could be heard "OKOK! And then Jupiter Jim was all like, no way jose!"
He just like me fr
《DONNIE》
There is no logical way this could be happening! ghosts? really?
immediately started asking questions, why do you exist? how do you exist? would you perhaps be interested in some experiments, y'know, for scientific purposes (definitely not for his own personal questions)
his questions just kept on coming and coming, some of them being more insensitive than the last, he would've said more if Raph didn't smack him on top of the head...
but you were happy to answer them non the less
when they had to skedaddle he was pissed, how dare they interrupt! can't you see there was science in the making?
he says he'll come to you, for more questions of course, nothing more... (cap)
he didn't expect you to come to him.
he jumped a little but then started going into his "I ask you, answer" mode
Experiments on you (with consent ofc)
discovers you have telekinesis
you two grew close, his experiments died down the more he learned about you
now, he just really enjoys the company
just knowing that you're there watching him while he tackles a project gets him so motivated
you're like his little assistant
"[NAME], be a dear and pass me that wrench over there," he asks, hand out, palm open,
"You got it boss" you floated the wrench toward him, and he grabbed it
"Thank you, you really are a great help, [NAME]"
"Just glad to be here Don-tron!" you smiled, not noticing the slight wag to his tail.
He really appreciates you
《MIKEY》
He just kept screaming and screaming until you snapped him out of it
what? why aren't you trying to take his body? and why aren't you freakishly creepy, you just looked like a normal person, minus the floating and transparency
Oh, you just wanted to talk? well, as long as you don't possess his body he's all for it!
The conversation was amazing! he got so much more information about ghosts, he's even more fixated on them now!
you got this turtle laying on the ground, twirling his mask tails in his fingers, kicking his feet, saying "Ooh! Tell me more!"
was whining like a puppy dog when he had to get up on out of there, puppy dog eyes did not work in his favor tonight..
he swears up and down that he will visit you, just wait!
I guess you've waited long enough, because the following week you were caught snooping around his room
he screamed, yes, he won't lie.
but it's not his fault that you popped up out of nowhere!
then starts talking to you like he didn't scream like 100 decibels
Just yip yap yapping away, but you don't mind, you enjoy socializing with him
kinda sad that he can't touch you though, sometimes he wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around you
you're his muse! asks you to pose for him, and you happily oblige
"Okay just keep that position, right there, perfect! such an amazing muse for me!" He smiles,
"Well, it's easy to pose when I have such a wonderful artist painting me" You replied,
"Awe shucks, don't compliment me like that! you're going to give me an ego" he chirps happily
lala and okok duo. that's all I have to say.
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BOO! HAPPY NEW YEARS GUYS OMGOMG 2024 IS HOPEFULLY GONNA BE A GREAT YEAR, HERES A LIL DITTY I WROTE, I HOPE YA LIKE IT, IM GETTING ON MY GRIND RIGHT NOW, I love ya! Merry 24, also I was watching Coryxkenshin while writing, shout out to the shogun. There also MIGHT be some grammar mistakes, kinda rushed to get this out
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gingiesworld · 9 months
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I See You (5/?)
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Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader
Warning: Angst
Wanda and Y/N had thought everything would be fine, even after Wanda told Jarvis that she wanted nothing to do with him. So as the mid terms ended, Y/N approached Wanda as she stood at her locker.
"Hey, I was thinking that I should take you out on a date." They told her as she smiled, closing her locker and turning to face them with a smile.
"Really?" She asked with a raised brow. The two completely ignoring the daggers they were receiving.
"Really." They straightened up as they slowly took her hand in theirs. "I want to take you on a date before your birthday in a couple of weeks."
"You do know that Pietro wants a party." She told them with a groan as they smirked.
"You should have it for the both of you. Invite some of your old friends." They suggested as she shook her head no.
"Darcy and Monica won't want anything to do with me anymore." She told them sadly as they smiled at her.
"They will, you will just need to reach out to them. Apologise for things and your absence." They told her as she pulled them into her by their shirt. Ignoring the passing glances.
"I was a dick." She told them as they shook their head no.
"You went after something you thought you wanted. Nothing worse was said between the three of you." They said as they brushed her hair behind her ear.
"Thank you." She whispered as they smiled at her.
"I will always be here to help you Wanda. I promise you." They told her as she shook her head.
"Don't make promises you can't keep." She whispered as they smiled at her.
"I intend to keep this promise Wanda. For the rest of our lives." They told her.
"You see us going that far?" She questioned as Y/N nodded before kissing her tenderly as the bell rang. The two split of and headed to their separate lessons.
"I warned you Wanda." Jarvis sneered as he walked passed her. Wanda's heart was beating incredibly fast, her nerves about the things he could do swirling through her mind. She tried to forget his words but she couldn't. They kept swirling around her head.
Of course Jarvis knew of the first date plans, he had overheard Y/N talking to Val about their plans. His smirk was growing as he knew what he needed to do.
"Darcy! Monica!" Wanda called out as she followed them to the bleachers, seeing a smiling Y/N walk passed her towards the gym for their lunch time practice.
"Wanda?" Monica spoke in surprise.
"I'm sorry." Wanda said as she tried to catch her breath. The two girls watched her carefully as she got her breath back. "I'm sorry that I completely flaked out on the two of you. I shouldn't have done that and all for a stupid boy."
"Wanda." Darcy started as Wanda shook her head.
"I missed you both. So fucking much." Wanda told them as the two smiled before they pulled her in for a tight hug.
"We missed you too Wan." Darcy whispered as Monica nodded in agreement. The three decided to spend lunch together, catching up on the things they had missed out on. Wanda telling them everything that had happened and listening as the two told her everything that had happened to them.
The night of the date had come and Y/N was excited, as was Wanda. Wanda dressed in one of her dark red skater dresses. She knew that dark red was Y/N's favourite colour on her. She waited patiently for Y/N to arrive which they were on time. They were always on time.
When Wanda opened the door, Y/N couldn't help but smile brightly as she shuffled shyly, making Y/N's smile grow.
"You look beautiful Wanda." They told her softly making her blush and look away shyly.
"Thank you." She whispered as Y/N smiled endearingly at her.
"Shall we?" They asked her as she nodded with a smile. Taking Y/N's arm and allowing them to lead her to their car. They opened the door for her with a smile before she kissed their cheek in thanks. Y/N reached over and held her hand in their free hand as they drove to the restaurant.
"This is too fancy Y/N." She whispered as they were led to a table.
"You deserve to be treated like a princess Wanda." They told her as they pulled out her chair. "And I intend to treat you as such." She couldn't help but smile bashfully as they sat before her. The two ordered a coke and their meals. Talking about their memories from their childhood together. The times they used to prank Pietro and team up on him.
"This is nice." Wanda smiled as the two reached their car. Wanda leaned with her back against the car as Y/N smiled before her. "No one has ever done this for me."
"Well get used to it." They told her. "My mama didn't raise a dead beat."
"No she didn't." Wanda smiled as she shook her head cupping their cheek. "She raised an amazing person. The one person who has my heart and I am not scared of my feelings anymore. I am ready to take this relationship to the end of the line."
"Me too." They whispered before they captured her lips in a soft passionate kiss. Y/N was always the one to pull away, not wanting to pressure her into something she isn't ready for.
When the night had ended, Y/N walking Wanda to her door when blue lights were flashing. Jarvis had parked a little up the road but had a perfect view of what was happening.
"Y/N Y/L/N, you are under arrest." The officer started as they forcefully put their arms behind their back.
"You can't do this." Wanda yelled as Y/N shook their head at her with a smile.
"Just go inside Wanda." They told her as she shook her head. Pietro opened the door as he heard Wanda yell to see Wanda trying to get to them.
"Come on Wan." Pietro said as he wrapped his arms around her.
"No. They can't do this!" She yelled as she struggled in her twins hold. "They can't." She said as the tears fell down her face. Her mascara staining her cheeks as she stopped.
"It's ok Wanda." Y/N called out to her as they watched them get shoved in the back of the cop car. She held onto Pietro as they watched the car disappear down the road.
"I told you Wanda." Jarvis told her as he approached the twins. "I warned you this would happen."
"You bastard." Wanda seethed as she moved out of Pietro's grasp to slap Jarvis hard.
"I can make it go away if you do what I had asked before." He said as he played with his zippo, a sickening smirk on his face.
"No." She told him as Pietro questioned her.
"Come on Wanda. I can take care of you. I have a scholarship. I will become a pro footballer." He told her she shook her head. "All I need is a stunning innocent trophy wife."
"Fuck you." She spat at him before walking inside the house and running to her room. Pietro remained in front of Jarvis, wanting to kick his ass.
"I can get you arrested too if you even lay a finger on me." He told him as Pietro glared at him.
"You're not worth my energy." He told him before he walked back to his house. Heading straight up to Wanda's room to find her searching for something. "Wanda, what did he ask you to do?"
"I have it here somewhere." She whispered as she looked through her clothes hamper. He just watched her search frantically until she found it. It was a note. The very note she had gotten off of Jarvis. She then started to explain what he had asked of her and what he would have done. "It's my fault." She whispered.
"No it isn't." He held her in his arms. "Y/N knew what they were doing when they told you not to do it. They were protecting you."
"Buy now I've lost them Pietro. I can't help them. I don't know how." She cried as he cupped her face, making her look at him.
"There is a way." He told her. "But you have to be willing to go to the police about what Jarvis had done that same night."
"But what if they don't believe me?" She whispered as he smiled at her.
"You have witnesses. You have Y/N and me." He told her as she shook her head. She was terrified of what needed to be done and she doesn't really have time to think about it either.
----------------------------------------------------
Taglist : @dark-hunter16 @whitewidowsbite @marvelwomen-simp @canvascoloredin @idkbubs
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raincoffeeandfandoms · 2 months
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Heart vs. Mind (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc)
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Masterlist
Summary: Alfie hasn't seen his friend Andrei in years and when he sees him again, it happens that his friend is dancing with Alfie's wife. His Rosie. Usually, she is ready to annihilate any man near her but not this time. Even if his heart is telling him that neither of them could betray him, his mind is telling him another story.
Warnings: Jealous Alfie. He's a bit a dick but apologies. Fluff ending. Mentions of sex.
Words: 3K. || James Norton as Andrei Bolkonsky in War & Peace (2016) decided to steal my braincells and that's why I wrote this.
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1921.
It was a costume party with an early 19th century theme. Alfie wouldn't have been there if his friend, Andrei, whom he hadn't seen since the war ended, hadn't invited him and his wife, Rose. And none of the feelings that clouded his mind now, would have happened if Andrei hadn't reappeared and crossed paths with Rose that Monday morning when he went to the place where she worked.
.
"I'm looking for a friend of mine," Andrei had told Rose, still not knowing who she was.
"All the men who come here say the same thing."
And it was true. At the institution Rose had founded to protect women and their children fleeing an abusive home, it was not uncommon for the men who had caused such traumas to now return looking for their wives with promises of change and eternal love. They never followed through and those women who agreed to return home to their husbands would sooner or later return to the institution with new scars and the same traumas. Others did not return, but could be found in the cemetery.
Rose looked at the newcomer. Dressed elegantly, his social status could be appreciated and his face accompanied such elegance. Dark-haired and light-eyed in another context he might even have been part of the nobility, but in 1920 he was just a wealthy man. Still, there was something in the look of him that other men who appeared there did not have (unless they were doctors or priests) and that was kindness.
"I'm sorry not let you in, Mr…"
"Andrei Bolkonsky."
"Mr. Bolkonsky, but the rules are clear. I can still have your friend called if you tell me her name. One of my women, you can go get her and tell her if she wants to meet you or not."
"I have no problem with that. Her name is Beatrice Samuels. She used to be a neighbor of mine, but because of work I had to go away and when I came back I found out that she was no longer living with her husband. Mr. Samuels was always a difficult man. But I have news of her son who lives in Germany and I would like to give her that news personally."
"I wouldn't call someone who broke the arm of the woman he swore to love and protect 'difficult'. There's another name for that kind of… person. Okay. I'll have Mrs. Samuels call, just wait there, yes?"
Andrei agreed and sat down in one of the green velvet armchairs by the door. From there he saw a tall blonde woman approach the smaller one who had waited on him. The latter handed the blonde a piece of paper.
"Thank you, Eunice."
"You're welcome, Mrs. Solomons."
Andrei frowned and approached again. "Excuse me. I couldn't help but overhear your last name. Solomons? Something to do with Alfie Solomons? Captain of Battalion 904 during the war?"
"Alfie is my husband. Do you know him?" Rose looked at him intrigued.
"Mrs. Solomons, nice to meet you, at last. Yes, Alfie and I fought together. I was in command of another battalion, but it was often we saw each other. For the first two years, our men fought in the same French trench. Maybe we would have gone on to the end if a wound hadn't knocked me out. How is he?"
"I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Bolkonsky. Alfie is well, as much as he is. Moody, vulgar and angry as usual, though not with me, so I well know those are signs that he is happy. I'm sorry I don't hear from you, not because Alfie is impolite, simply because he doesn't talk about what happened in France."
"I don't blame him. Sometimes it's better to forget. I'd like to see him, if he wants to…" it wasn't often that Rose smiled in the presence of another man, but the warmth he exuded made it impossible for her to resist the temptation. There is always an exception that breaks every rule and in this case it was Andrei Bolkonsky who had nothing to do with the violent hypocrites Rose was used to seeing on a daily basis.
She wasn't sure about giving him the location of the distillery, so instead she gave him their home address knowing that for tea time, Alfie was always used to being there.
Thus it was that the two war buddies turned friends, were reunited.
As she rested in her bedroom she could hear her husband's laughter from the main room of the house and her friend's soft voice. She wished all the men around Alfie were like Andrei, but that was not the case. It had been many years since she had gotten the idea that Shelby or Sabini and the like was the kind of person he frequented.
And as far as Alfie was concerned, he had actually been glad to be reunited with Andrei. He was, as far as Alfie knew, the only living friend left that he had met in France. The rest, if he hadn't died on the battlefield, had ended their lives on their return to London.
"It's the party of a relative of mine," he had said "I'm sure you and your wife might enjoy it."
"Rosie likes that," Alfie admitted "it's been a long time since I've taken her anywhere and it might be a good opportunity."
"I'll give your names to my cousin, then. You're a lucky man, Alfie, many others would kill to have a relationship like yours with her."
"It's because of her. I'm sorry about what happened with your wife."
"It's a long time ago now, Alfie. But thank you."
Andrei barely smiled remembering his young wife and how the Spanish flu had decided to make her one of its victims.
"You can always start again."
.
"You can always start again." Those words kept repeating in Alfie's head like a mantra that instead of healing, was rotting his thoughts. Andrei had asked permission for him to dance with Rose and Alfie had found no argument to refuse that even if he had wanted to shout no.
Since Andrei had reappeared, Rose had been delighted to have something nice to say about a friend of his. And apparently everything he did was to be admired. Alfie hadn't said so, but that had been the start of it.
From the chair where he was sitting, he could see Andrei's hand gently squeeze her lower back.
Aesthetically they were perfect. He dressed as if he were a prince and she his princess. Alfie could see how Andrei carried an elegance that he lacked. That elegance was born with, regardless of social class and Alfie knew that. But that was not what bothered Alfie, he would never be bothered by something so trivial.
He didn't quite know for sure what it was, but he saw Andrei as a threat and that had never happened before. He never cared that men wanted to get close to Rose because inevitably she always pushed them away. Each and every one of them. But for the first time Alfie was watching her happily accept company other than his own.
And it was a feeling he didn't like at all.
Andrei was indeed the kind of man one would expect to see at her side, he thought. And the fact that Rose, his Rosie, was smiling at him and looking him in the eye only added to that sense of betrayal.
"If she could, she'd go with him." His mind told him as he watched Andrei spin her around on the dance floor.
If a look could kill, then Alfie's would have wiped out everyone present there. He was furious.
Jealous.
And he could no longer hide it.
For her it was just a dance with the company of a nice man. For Andrei it was a way to socialize with other people again after being widowed. For Alfie it was hell.
Alfie barely said goodbye to Andrei as he left and the drive back to the Solomons' house, was fraught with tension inside the car driven by the chauffeur they both had.
"Is something wrong, Al?"
"No."
Inside the car was not a good place to talk because they would end up arguing that night and Rose knew it, so for the moment she kept quiet. She hated it when that happened because it was so infrequent that she could keep track of the times it happened using one of her hands, but apparently that was going to happen again that night.
"You had fun tonight," Alfie spat once they both entered the house and went upstairs to the bedroom.
"Yeah and so would you have too if you hadn't been sitting in the corner like you'd rather be dead than be there. What the hell is the matter with you?"
"I'd have had more fun if I hadn't seen ya makin' fuckin' googly eyes at Andrei, maybe."
Rose who was trying to take off one of his shoes stops to look at him. What she just heard had to be a mistake "Excuse me?"
Alfie was wearing that angry expression that made more than one recoil, but not her. The fact that Alfie was suggesting that in other circumstances would have made her laugh, but at the moment she was just as angry as he was. Only she had valid reasons to be.
"If I had to bet," Alfie went on, "I'd swear that if Evert had been like Andrei ya probably would've loved to marry him."
"Is that what you think?"
"The way you looked thrilled to be there, yeah."
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Alfie? How many years have we been together? Since we were fourteen! That's almost twenty years. Ten of which, we've been married. And you know why I don't count as separate the years I had to force myself into a marriage I never wanted? Because it never existed for me. Because every day I pretend it never happened. And now you're telling me that if Lawrence Evert had been Andrei, I would have been happy? Are you listening to yourself?"
Alfie, without changing his attitude, remained silent.
"In what world would I have been happy without you? You fucking idiot! You're just jealous because for the first time in thirty-three years I've been alive another man other than you was nice to me? Let me tell you something, if Andrei had been Evert he would never have forced a teenage girl to marry him! He would never have been an accomplice of his mother in forcing such a marriage! He would never have molested a teenage girl either!" Rose walked over to him and looked him firmly in the eye. "Shouldn't you be glad that I allowed another man, other than you, to be kind to me? That I didn't use the same armor I use every day to take care of myself? Don't you think that's fucking progress? Before you go sleep in another bed, because you're not sleeping with me, Alfie, I want to tell you something else. Anyone would say jealousy is cute 'aww, he's jealous' but in your case it isn't. Jealousy doesn't suit you. You behaved just like every other man I see every fucking day. You are seeing me as an extension of your property and I want you to know that I don't like it one bit. Don't put your masculine insecurities on my actions, because I did nothing! Take a bath, get some sleep and when you get back to yourself, then maybe I want to talk to you. Until that happens, good night."
Neither he nor she could sleep that night and when he went down for breakfast the next day, she was no longer there.
.
"It wasn't hard to find your place of work if you know where to ask. A distillery…" said Andrei's voice that morning, Alfie looked at him surprised to see him there. "I'm not one to judge either. May I sit down?"
Alfie closed the account book on his desk and gestured to the chair across from him.
"You don't look well," Andrei mentioned.
"I didn't sleep at all."
Andrei smiled slightly. "I can imagine why," he looked down for a moment before raising his head again "I asked you last night if you minded if I danced with her and you said no problem. But I could see right away that there was all the problems. You're my friend, Alfie. You haven't considered for a moment that I might be interested in her as something more than your wife and, perhaps, as a friend, have you?"
"I don't know what came over me last night. Suddenly ya were the biggest fuckin' threat to appear in my marriage…not even in my fuckin' marriage…in all the life I've known Rosie."
"Look at me, Alfie. I can't be a threat to anyone. Least of all to your marriage, considering that woman loves you. All she ever said to me while I was dancing with her was nice things about you. And I couldn't betray you, not to mention I'm still grieving."
Alfie knew that, always knew that. There was no way either his friend or his wife, would do anything against him. But the night before that voice in his head was more powerful than Alfie himself. The worst thing was that he had hurt Rose, when that was the last thing he would ever want to do.
.
"What do you want?"
His wife was in the house when he arrived. He heard her in the kitchen preparing tea and went over to where she was. From behind, he rested his chin on her shoulder as he placed a bouquet of flowers in front of her.
"May you forgive me?"
"Really? And why?" Rose felt his arms around her waist as she smelled the flowers.
"Because I was an idiot," Alfie hid his head in her neck.
"And a big one. You said things I didn't think if you could even come up with, Alfie."
"I know. I have no reason to say what I said or what I thought. But I can make it up to you. Let's go to Margate, this very night. We can come back in the morning, if you can't give up your work for a day. I want to do something nice for you… or you can throw me in the sea, whichever you prefer."
"I don't want to go to the beach, Alfie. It's on the other side of England, it's far away and I'm tired and I'm still upset. Whatever you want to say you can say it here."
"It's not what I want to say, it's what I want to do. There are things we can't do in London but we can do there. Like walking along the seashore… or having sex on the beach."
Contrary to how she felt she couldn't suppress a smile. Putting aside the tea she wanted to make, she turned in on herself to look at him, "sex on the beach…that's what you want over there for. I really admire that you're convinced that's going to happen. Whether it's in Margate or in our bedroom."
"If I humiliate myself enough, you might agree," Alfie stroked her cheek with a finger.
"I don't need you to humiliate yourself, I need you to never behave like an idiot again. May you never again think that dancing once with a nice man, means being unfaithful. Because that's basically what you implied to me last night and I think you know how I feel about that. I didn't think you would doubt the love I feel for you like that."
"I never doubted your love… I doubted myself and as someone worthy of that love. But I found no other way to express myself. Let's be honest, Andrei is what you call the perfect man. He's honest, handsome and a good man in general, I'm not."
"Lucky for you, I always liked the bad boy. But there's a difference between being a bad boy and a jerk. And I hope I never see that Alfie in front of me again."
"No. I don't like being like that either, but ya don't know what jealousy does…"
"You think so? Do you really think that? That I never felt threatened by the presence of another person in your life? The difference is that I pushed those thoughts out of my head and never told you because, in the end, I know it's only the work of my imagination."
"Sweetheart, what are you talking about? Who? I'm not surrounded by beautiful women, it's the same old lads. Some of them haven't taken a shower in two months."
"I don't need you to be surrounded by beautiful women. It doesn't matter who. It matters that at the end of the day, I know my thoughts don't reflect reality. Even if that person is better than me."
Alfie put a hand on her waist and pulled her to him as he kissed her. Her arms ended around his shoulders and her hands caressed his hair. It was she who increased the intensity of the kiss and he wasted no time in getting her legs around his hips. He carried her to the bed and lay down on top of her. It didn't take long for the clothes to end up on the floor.
The good thing about misunderstandings was reconciliations and this was the case. All the frustrations of the previous day, Alfie channeled into each thrust. And judging by her moans, that was exactly what she needed to get past that stupid jealousy of his. Although Alfie being angry, arouse a new Alfie when they had sex like now and that was something she would never complain about.
"And you wanted to go to Margate, three hours from here, when we have the bed twenty seconds from the kitchen," Rose smiled at him, when they finished, before kissing his chest exactly where he had a rose tattoo.
"I want to go, but maybe it's true that it wasn't the time today. Did you forgive me?"
"Yes. I hate being mad at you."
Alfie slid his hand down her back until he reached her bottom. "Good thing, because I don't intend to let you go now not until you answer me. Mrs. Solomons, who makes you jealous? I don't have much choice in my life and if it's who I think it is…then it's fucking ridiculous."
"I told you, Alfie, it doesn't matter who it is or was! I've got things straight in my life and…"
"It's Tommy," he interrupted. "You're fucking jealous of Thomas Shelby. Tommy is the only one who can make you feel jealous. Because he's the only one who has brain cells around me. I don't need you to confirm this, I just know."
Rose opened her mouth and then closed it. Damn Alfie and his intuition. "It was only once. You kept talking about him and suddenly you said something about his blue eyes and my thought was 'why don't you just marry him.' Later, I realized what I thought and how I wasn't right. It was a stupid thought."
"With Tommy…" Alfie felt like laughing, but instead he hugged her tighter "I need to eat something first. But after that, I can show you again why I married you. You have something Thomas is never going to have."
"What thing? A pussy?"
"That, too... and my heart."
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nightfang22 · 1 year
Text
Get Angry
As a special treat for my friend @p34ch-tr33 who always pulls out my best work! Enjoy!
TW:Angst,smut insinuation,alcohol,18+
A tear runs down my cheek as I blow out the last candle on the cake. 20 candles nearly completely melted, wax mixed with icing, I sat alone in the dark as I waited for him. He should've been here 5 hours ago. Kenny promised this year would be different. He promised. I scroll through my Snapchat just looking at people's stories and watching dog videos. I clicked on Stan's story expecting to see cute photos of Sparky or videos with Wendy. What I saw broke my heart. Stan's story was filled with nothing but videos of a party at Kenny's house. I could see Wendy and Bebe taking shots and Cartman and Heidi making out. Butters was hitting on some poor drunk girl in the corner and Kyle was playing video games. Craig and Tweek were watching Jimmy break dance on a cardboard box in the middle of the room. I choked back a hard sob stuck in my throat but ultimately I failed. Then I remembered what my father told me when I was little: Don't cry, get mad. And when you get mad, get even. I picked myself up and brushed myself off, tossing the ruined cake in the garbage before fixing my makeup. I grabbed my keys and sped off in my car to Kenny's house.
Ever since Kenny's dad got that oil rig job and is never home anymore, Kenny hasn't really been Kenny. We used to celebrate each other's birthdays together all the time when we were kids but he's missed the last couple of years. He always made it up to me in the end but this time he completely forgot and didn't invite me to his party! I'll show him. I pull into Kenny's driveway and get out of my car. I knock on the door but there's no answer. 'Maybe the music is too loud for them to hear anything else?' So I knock again but louder. Stan opens the door looking back over his shoulder laughing at something before turning his head to face me. His eyes widen in shock. "(Y/N), what are you doing here?" He has a glass in his hand that has a golden brown liquid in it. I relieve him of his glass and down it. 'Hm, Kenny's dad's Scotch from the fancy liquor cabinet.' "I just came to say hi to Kenny and to remind him of the date. You know, since he didn't invite me to his little shindig." I said through gritted teeth. Stan is just staring at me dumbfounded before saying, "What? Kenny told us you couldn't make it cause you were sick. Everyone was asking about you." I smile softly and hug him. That makes me feel a teensy bit better. "Thank you, Stan. Where's Kenny?" I ask, my voice now calm and soft. Stan steps aside to let me in and points over to his dad's recliner where Kenny is sat watching Kyle play Nintendo. I give Stan back the empty glass and march over to Kenny. I stand in front of him, blocking his view of Kyle's game. I see his eyes widen for but a moment before I kick him square in the junk. "KENNY MCCORMICK, YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND AND BIGGEST ASSHOLE I'VE EVER MET AND THAT SAYS SOMETHING CONSIDERING WE'VE KNOWN CARTMAN OUR WHOLE GODDAMN LIVES!" I scream at him in front of everyone. He's not wearing his parka so I have a full view of his face and just how red his cheeks are from embarrassment. The music suddenly stops and the whole room falls silent as everyone has their eyes on us. "NOT ONLY DO YOU THROW A PARTY AND TELL EVERYONE I'M SICK BUT YOU FORGET MY GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY FOR THE THIRD YEAR IN A MOTHERFUCKING ROW, YOU PIECE OF ABSOLUTE DOGSHIT! I HOPE YOU GET TOSSED ONTO A PIKE YOU SON OF A BITCH! I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS BUT I THINK THAT KENNY KABOBS SOUND PRETTY GODDAMN GOOD RIGHT ABOUT NOW!" And I kick him square in the junk one more time. Just for good measure, of course. "Okay everyone, let the party continue! It is my birthday, after all!" I slit my eyes in Kenny's direction when I say the word 'birthday'.
     The music starts up again and everyone goes back to partying like nothing even happened. I walked into the kitchen to pour myself a heavy drink when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I roll my eyes sighing. Spinning around, I say "Kenny, I'm not sorry for kicking you in the balls and I'm especially not sorry for crashing your party, either." But when I spin around I am not met with blonde hair and blue-green eyes. I am met with messy black hair peeking out of a cute blue hat. "I'm not sorry you did either of those things, too. He really deserved it." It's Craig. I look up at his rather tall frame. Craig has towered over me since we were little. "Oh, sorry. I thought you were Kenny." He fakes being wounded in the chest. "Ouch, (Y/N). That bad, huh?" I could only laugh at his cheesy joke and brush his arm as I reply, "Nah, you're way cuter." His cheeks turn bright pink and that's when I notice Kenny watching out of the corner of my eye. I wrap my arms around Craig's neck and pull him in. We start to makeout and he has me pressed up against the wall. I break away only to pull him up the staircase to Kenny's bedroom. I open the door as Craig takes off his shirt. I turn to him as he pins me to the door, shutting it. He pulls my shirt off and unclasps my bra. He moves me to the bed and takes his hat off, placing it gently atop my head. Removing my skirt and undergarments, Craig kisses his way up my legs before he has me pinned beneath him. I never thought that my first time would be like this. As a revenge tactic with someone I didn't love. Especially not with Craig Tucker. He's leaning down to kiss me again when the door slams wide open. Kenny bursts through the door and pulls Craig off of me by the back of his head, slamming him into the wall. I jump up to my elbows. It appears that Craig is rendered unconscious. He's still breathing at least. I can see his chest moving rhythmically. I stare at Kenny as his head turns to me, his breathing hot and heavy. I can see why. He has a raging boner in his jeans. He pulls off his shirt and crawls on top of me. We make very intense and intimate eye contact for a few silent moments. "I'm sorry, (Y/N). I shouldn't have forgotten." I clear my throat. "Or lied to everyone about you being sick. Can you please forgive me?" Kenny gives me his best puppy eyes, the ones that always got me to do whatever he wanted when we were little and even still to this day. "Okay, fine. I'll forgive you." He smiled at me softly kissing me on the lips. "You weren't really about to give away what's mine to Craig, right?" I shake my head while giggling. He chuckles. "Good. Now let me give you your birthday gift." He strips his bottoms and I flip him over. "Let me." I whisper. I get real close to his face before I whisper, "Nice try, asshole." I sit back up and slap him across the face. "You could never have me no matter how bad you want me, McCormick." I spit in his face as I got up, Craig's hat still atop my head. I saunter over to the door taking a final turn to look at Kenny. "You'd just die on me anyways, you fucking flip phone." Those were the last words I ever spoke to Kenny McCormick as I left him laying there confused and sexually frustrated with his cock out in a room with an unconscious Craig.
Word Count:1,358
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orecana · 6 months
Text
To reach you
Lee heeseung x male reader
hello everyone! this is a new fic and i hope you enjoy it. Thanks to everyone who read and like my fic.
this fic and title is inspired by (To reach you from memory fabricators from produce 48)
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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FIC CONTAINS
DEPRESSION
ANGST
MENTIONS OF DEATH
PHYSICAL AND VERBAL ABUSE
ATTEMPTED ARRANGED MARRIAGE
If any of the following triggers you in anyways, please click off the fic. thank you for your understanding. now let's get into the fic
"YOU ARE SUCH A FAILURE!"
a resounding slap was heard through out the house as a man slap a young boy extremely hard making him fall down. The woman gasps and tries to help the young boy but the man punches her in the face so hard it knocks her out. a sickening crack was heard as the woman drops onto the floor with blood everywhere on her face. drops of blood fell from the man's hands as he approaches the boy and grabs him by the collar.
"I'LL END YOU AND THAT WOMAN TONIGHT!"
He raises his fist and hits the boy.
*Gasps*
a boy woke up from his nightmare. His eyes were red and puffy with eyebags surrounding it. his skin was pale as snow as he gets off the bed. he reaches for the remote on the table besides his bed and turns on the tv.
"1 2 CONNECT! hello, we are enhypen!"
The young adult smiles as he watches his favorite idols do hilarious things and participates in fun games. Unintentionally, he reaches for the dark blood album that he bought months ago. He opens it and picks up a photocard. Even though it brings him great pain from remembering it but he still loves him even after all these years being far apart.
Lee heeseung
he shed tears again just by seeing his photocard. He cries bitterly as he reaches for the book sitting near his bed. It was a diary.
He opens it to see all those moments from when they were young and naive. when they became best friends. when they promised to always remember each other when heeseung moved away.
especially, when he fell for lee heeseung.
"Today, we have a special event for our fans! we are actually very curious about our fans. So you guys can submit random videos of something that you are good at doing and we'll do a live tomorrow to see most of it."
jungwon stops mid second before putting on a poker face.
"but please, don't put anything that is not appropriate. we will not hesitate to ban you."
He then changed back to his usual happy self.
"Goodbye, engenes!"
All of the enhypen members says goodbye before tuning off.
y/n sits there with a thought on his mind. He wants to do it but at the same time he doesn't want to because he's not sure if heeseung will remember him. After a while, He stands up and takes a shower. after changing out of his pajamas, He sits on his desk and opens a code locked drawer. in it was a paper filled with lyrics.
This is the only chance y/n can talk with heeseung even if it's only through video. If this doesn't work, then lee heeseung will no longer be in his life.
"i hope it reaches you heeseungie."
heeseung wanted to sleep but i can't. I'm really anxious for tomorrow. Will he submit a video or not? will he try to communicate with him or not?
Even though they have been separated all these years, heeseung still remembers y/n. There was never a time when he forgets his childhood friend or his case, crush.
he couldn't help but fall for the boy at that time and even begins to make advances. However, his mother was not happy with this development even going as far as to arrange his future marriage with some random girl that heeseung was sure he wanted to send to the depths of hell.
Luckily, His father was more supportive and gradually convinces his mother to drop it. She reluctantly agrees but only on the condition that y/n won't break his heart.
Heeseung was extremely happy about this. but the dreaded news come that their mother had an offer overseas. They couldn't let heeseung's mother go alone so the entire family had to go. He wanted to say goodbye but they were in a rush so he couldn't even call or text the other boy.
Heeseung felt a tear roll down his cheek as he shook out of his mind. he wipes it before trying again to fall asleep.
Unexpectedly, he felt someone caresses his back. he looks back to see jungwon who gives him a look of sadness and worry.
"are you thinking of him again, hyung?
He looks down. He wanted to deny it but nothing escapes jungwon's keen eye.
"yes."
"don't worry, if he's really your irreplaceable friend, he will come and support you. i'm sure he's looking for a way to talk to you as well."
Heeseung felt better after jungwon calmed him down.
"thanks, jungwonie."
"It's nothing hyung, what are friends for?"
Jungwon goes out of the room into his own room as heeseung is finally able to fall asleep with only one thought in mind.
to see y/n again.
"1 2 CONNECT! hello we are enhypen!"
"just as we have promised yesterday, we will now look at our engenes videos and get closer to you guys." jungwon says
"We won't be watching every clip so if your video isn't included in the live then we apologize in advance." jay reminds engenes
"without further ado, let's get into the videos. the first one is from (name)." jake says
*timeskip*
"some of these clips are pretty funny but some of our engenes are really talented." sunghoon states.
"oooh, this one is very interesting. It's a song cover of to reach you. There's also a message. it says (will you come for me, prince ethan?" sunoo announces.
Hearing that make heeseung freeze. His body was moving on its own and goes in front to make sure that the message was real.
There it was, the message really was attached to the video.
'did you really come y/n?'
"c-can you play it sunoo?"
sunoo nods and plays the video. (credits to original owner)
youtube
cheoreoptteon uri eorin nare yaksok (The promise we made when we were young) geu mari saenggagi na (I’m thinking of those words) jjalbatteon manyang haengbokhaetteon gieok (Short but happy memory) yunanhi geuriun nal Oh~ Yeah (I’m missing you today)
sarangiran geureon heunhan mari (A common word like ‘love’) uriegen jogeum teukbyeolhaetji (Was special to us) seotulgo eosaekhaedo baraman bwado (Even if you are clumsy and awkward,) Oh~ Baby
heeojimdo ashwiumdo (Saying goodbye, and regrets) geugeonmajeodo geuriweo (I miss everything)
It really is y/n. even after all these years, heeseung can never forget that sweet voice of his childhood crush.
Hearing these words made heeseung thinks of the time when they were still young (no pun intended) of those times when they were still friends who would play hide and seek and venture recklessly into the unknown. The promise.....
"Heeseungie, when we grow up i want you to be my prince!"
"what? but you're not a princess though y/n"
"So? I love you and you love me right? you don't need a princess when you have me right?"
past heeseung smile. "okay, i promise to be your prince y/n."
"Heeseungie..... where are you? i'm here...... why did you leave me?"
past y/n cries when he heard that heeseung moved from there.
jeonhaji mothaetteon geu mal neoege dakireul (The words I couldn’t say, I hope they reach you) seoroga aetatteon geu mam ijeneun dakireul (I hope our feelings reach each other) birok meolli itjiman han (Even though we’re far away) georeum deo dakireul (I hope we can get one step closer) neol weonhago weonhaetteon nae mam (I wanted and wanted you) neoege dakireul (I hope my feelings reach you)
suturutu suturutu suturutu neoege dakireul (To reach you) suturutu suturutu suturutu
eottae neon? neodo geureon saenggak hani (What about you? do you feel the same?) uri cheoeum mannatteon nal (The day we first met) gakkeum nan neoreul kkumsogeseo manna (Sometimes I meet you in my dreams) ajikdo itji mothae (I still think about you) Oh~ Yeah
Heeseung unconsciously slips tears while listening to y/n's voice covering this song making the fans go crazy in the comments, asking why heeseung is crying. some of the members also notices and niki gives him a slight nudge but heeseung didn't budge. He was too busy thinking of their times apart. It's crazy how this song truly expresses how they felt right now.
ibyeoriran geureon heunhan mari (A common word like ‘goodbye’) yunanhido naegen jidokhaetji (Was so painful for me) jinagan shigan soge neol mannagireul (After all this time I still want to meet you again) Oh~ Baby
dashi mannal seolleimdo (The anticipation of seeing you again) geugeonmajeodo geuriweo (I miss everything)
Heeseung also remembers when he was on the plane with his parents to another country. He couldn't say goodbye to his y/n, he cried during that plane ride because he thought he broke their promise and left without saying goodbye.
jeonhaji mothaetteon geu mal neoege dakireul (The words I couldn’t say, I hope they reach you) seoroga aetatteon geu mam ijeneun dakireul (I hope our feelings reach each other) birok meolli itjiman han (Even though we’re far away) georeum deo dakireul (I hope we can get one step closer) neol weonhago weonhaetteon nae mam (I wanted and wanted you) neoege dakireul (I hope my feelings reach you)
meollimeolli jogeum orae shigani geollyeodo (Too far, too long even if it takes some time) cheoeum bwatteon geuttae geu nalcheoreom (Like the day I first met you)
gieoknani? seotulgiman haetteon neowa na (Do you remember? you and me, we were so awkward) maemdolgiman haetteon urideure jinannaldeul (We only circled around each other all this time)
Heeseung looks at the other members who were also entranced by y/n's vocals, some were even holding back their tears. He chuckled a bit at this part. Their first meet was something else. They met when y/n somehow got his head stuck in one of the kid slides. Heeseung had to pull him out and they went tumbling all over the playground. after that y/n avoided heeseung because he was embarassed but they soon became best friends after heeseung offered to play with him.
eonjena yeogi seo isseul geoya geurae (I’ll always be here, that’s right) Oh~ Yeah! geu nalcheoreom (Just like that day)
(Woo)
jeonhaji mothaetteon geu mal neoege dakireul (The words I couldn’t say, I hope they reach you) seoroga aetatteon geu mam ijeneun dakireul (I hope our feelings reach each other)
aetatteon geu mam (hope our feelings) birok meolli itjiman han (Even though we’re far away) georeum deo dakireul (I hope we can get one step closer) neol weonhago weonhaetteon nae mam (I wanted and wanted you) neoege dakireul (I hope my feelings reach you)
suturutu suturutu suturutu neoege dakireul (to reach you) suturutu suturutu suturutu nae mami dakireul (I hope my heart reaches you)
even though the song has already ended, the members were stuck for a bit, entranced by the song. Jungwon was the first to snap out of it and announces that this will be the last one they will watch today.
" it has been a fun day and we have seen what engenes can do" jungwon giggles
"We're gonna end the live now, goodbye Engenes!"
jungwon turns off the live and looks at his eldest hyung.
"you can go and rest hyung."
heeseung looks at jungwon and smiles, grateful at his leader.
"thanks wonie, i'll go get some fresh air."
heeseung exits that room and wanders around. He gets out of the dorm for a sec and takes a deep breath.
"Boo~"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Heeseungie. if you shout that loud you're gonna make my ears bleed."
That voice.... Heeseung couldn't believe it but he look at his left to see the person that has been the cause of his problems right now.
"y-y/n?"
"your mom contacted me after she saw the song, said that she's getting sick and tired of seeing her son mope around."
y/n giggle showing his ever beautiful smile that heeseung cherished so much. Heeseung walks toward y/n and cups his cheeks with both of his hands. y/n looks up meeting heeseung eyes as they stared at each other admiring the others visuals. They lean in closer, their mouths centimeters apart and they can feel their breaths against each other.
"Can i kiss you my dear y/n?"
"Of course my prince."
They kissed as a bright flash flickers from behind heeseung but they couldn't care less not when they have each other in their arms.
heeseung pulls back and smiles at y/n who only return a smile.
"i'm sorry i couldn't say goodbye, but now i can fulfill our promise."
Y/n giggles as heeseung pecks his lips before turning around.
"i'm heading back in the dorm, I'll see you when i have a free schedule my dear."
"I will wait for you then, my prince. I love you."
y/n walks home after his lovely time with heeseung as he blushes and squeals like a high schooler in love.
'I'm glad i covered that song. Now our hearts are connected with each other.
unknowingly, heeseung mutters the same words.
"My feelings have finally reached you my dear/prince."
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