Tumgik
#'BEHOLD !! my evil man eating SHARKS'
dracocheesecake · 2 years
Text
...I am extremely weak to the cravings of the flesh so I already planned out an "Almost Everything Is Perfect" AU that revolves alot around my OCs and King Andrias, and I'm in the process of writing fics about it, apparently.
Basically: Andrias manned up and said no to the Core a looong while before the Trio ended up in Amphibia and is happily married with a son. However, the Core was not happy with Andrias making his own decisions and not obeying it and its whims, so although he's dismantled the part of it in the palace, there's still that station on the moon, which occasionally spits down evil mechs and robots that Amphibia has to fight off- basically everything else is the same, except Andrias is actually "Good King Andrias" and not a problematic meow meow- he'll be a pathetic one, just not a problematic one...and my ocs are included because I wrote this with me entirely in mind. Again: I am weak to the cravings of the flesh and must indulge myself.
AHEM.
But anyway here's a snippet of a ficlet I'm working on, about young King Andrias and his new queen- my OC Urodella Laterale (now Leviathan) - going back to her home and her family: the Amazonian-like Blue Spotted Clan of the incredibly dangerous Blue Jungle.
Behold:
They all surrounded him like sharks to bleeding prey, poking and prodding at him as if he were something they wanted to eat for dinner. Andrias backed away, nervous- but they swiftly followed, expertly blocking off any exit. 
"How did you bag this one, Sister?" One of them said, placing a hand on his arm and squeezing. She whistled. "He seems quite a catch." 
"Does he have a single brother?" Another cooed eagerly.  
"Does he have a single sister?"
"No, he doesn't- and I did not 'bag' him, I was betrothed to him, if you recall. Also, by the way, he's the king of Amphibia- and my husband, so perhaps show some respect," Urodella said, clearly irritated. 
The first speaker snorted, turning and leaning on her spear, the hand that had been on Andrias' bicep now on her hip. She cocked her brow. 
"Respect?" She snorted. "What's that?"
"What I'm about to beat into you, if you don't behave," Urodella hissed, baring her fangs. 
All of the watching females made an 'oooo' sound, amusement clear on their faces. Andrias, in his flustered state, wasn't sure what this interaction meant- was there going to be a fight? Should he be concerned?
Whatever the case, he would soon find out. 
6 notes · View notes
zonerobotnik · 9 months
Note
Smith was a very good poet.
Here's one of my favourite poems of him.
The Ghoul And the Seraph
Clark Ashton Smith
Scene: a cemetery, by moonlight. The Ghoul emerges from the shade of a cypress, and sings.
The Song
The Pestilence is on the wing! Behold! the sweet and crimson foam Upon the lips of churl and king! No worm but hath a feastful home: The Pestilence is on the wing!
Even now his kiss incarnadines The brows of maiden, queen and whore; The nun to him her cheek resigns; Wan lips were never kissed before, His ancient kiss incarnadines.
Good cheer to thee, white worm of death ! The priest within the brothel dies, The baud hath sickened from his breath ! In grave half-dug the digger lies: Good cheer to thee, white worm of death!
The Seraph appears from among the trees, half walking, half flying, with wings whose iris the moonlight has rendered faint, and pauses at sight of the Ghoul.
The Seraph
What gardener in crudded fields of hell, Or scullion of the Devil's house, art thou— To whom the filth of Malebolge clings, And reek of horrid refuse? Thou art gnurled And black as any Kobold from the mines Where demons delve for orichalch and steel To forge the infernal racks! Upon thy face, Detestable and evil as might haunt
The last delirium of a dying hag, Or necromancer's madness, fall thy locks Like sodden reeds that trail in Acheron From shores of night and horror; and thy hands, Like roots of cypresses uptorn in storm That still retain their grisly provender, Make the glad wine and manna of the skies Turn to a qualmish sickness in my veins.
The Ghoul
And who art thou ?— some white-faced fool of God, With wings that emulate the giddy bird, And bloodless mouth for ever filled with psalms In lieu of honest victuals ! . . . Askest thou My name ? I am the ghoul NecromaIor: In new-made graves I delve for sustenance,
As man within his turnip-fields; I take For table the uprooted slab, that bears The words, "In Pace;" black and curdled blood Of cadávers is all my cupless wine — Slow-drunken, as the dainty, vampire drinks From pulses oped in never-ending sleep.
The Seraph
O, foulness Born as of the ninefold curse Of dragon-mouthed Apollyon, plumed with darts And armed with horns of incandescent bronze ! O, dark as Satan's nightmare, or the fruit Of Belial's rape on hell's bIack hippogriff ! What knowest thou of Paradise, where grow The gardens of the manna-laden myrrh,
And lotos never known to Ulysses, Whose fruit provides our long and sateless banquet ? Where boundless fields, unfurrowed and unsown, Supply for God's own appanage their foison Of amber-hearted grain, and sesame Sweeter than nard the Persian air compounds With frankincense from isles of India ! Where flame-leaved forests infinitely teem With palms of tremulous opal, from whose tops
Ambrosial honies fall forevermore In rains of nacred light ! Where rise and rise, Terrace on hyacinthine terrace, hills Hung with the grapes that drip cerulean wine, One draught whereof dissolves eternity In bliss oblivious and supernal dream !
The Ghoul
To all the meat their bellies most commend,
To all the according wine. For me, I wot, The cates whereof thou braggest were as wind In halls where men had feasted yesterday, Or furbished bones the full hyena leaves. Tiger and pig have their apportioned glutt, Nor lacks the shark his provender; the bird Is nourished with the worm of charnels; man, Or the grey wolf, will slay and eat the bird, Till wolf and man be carrion for the worm.
What wouldst thou ? As the elfin lily does, Or as the Paphian myrtle, pale with love, I draw me from the unreluctant dead The rightful meat my belly's law demands. Eaters of death are all: life shall not live, Save that its food be death: no atomy In any star, nor heaven's remotest moon But hath a billion billion times been made The food of insatiable life, and food
Of death insatiate: for all is change— Change, that hath wrought the chancre and the rose, And wrought the star, and wrought the sapphire-stone, And lit great altars, and the eyes of lions— Change, that hath made the very gods from slime Drawn from the pits of Python, and willing Gods and their builded heavens back again To slime. The fruits of archangelic light Thou braggest of, and grapes of azure wine,
Have been the dung of dragons and the blood Of toads in Phlegethon: each particle That is their splendor, clomb in separate ways Through suns and worlds and cycles infinite— Through burning brume of systems unbegun, And manes of long-haired comets, that have lashed The night of space to Fury and to fire; And in the core of cold and lightless stars, And in immalleable metats deep,
Each atomy hath slept, or known the slime Of cyclopean oceans turned to air Before the suns of Ophiuchus rose; And they have known the interstellar night, And they have lain at root of sightless flowers In worlds without a sun, or at the heart Of monstrous-eyed and panting flowers of flesh, Or eon-blooming amaranths of stone; And they have ministered within the brains
Of sages and magicians, and have served To swell the pulse of kings and conquerors, And have been privy to the hearts of queens.
The Ghoul turns his back on the Seraph, and moves away, singing.
The Song
O condor, keep thy mountain-ways Above the long Andean lands;
Gier-eagle, guard the eastern sands Where the Forsaken camel strays: Beetle and worm and I will ward The Iardered graves of lout and lord.
Oh, warm and bright the blood that Iies Upon the wounded lion's trail ! Hyena, laugh, and jackal, wail, And ring him round, who turns and dies !
Beetle and worm and I will ward The lardered graves of lout and lord.
Arms of a wanton girl are good, Or hands of harp-player and knight: Breasts of the nun be sweet and white, Sweet is the festive friar's blood. Beetle and worm and I will ward The lardered graves of lout and lord.
That's a pretty good poem.
1 note · View note
totorollingthunder · 3 years
Text
i wish i could just float in a giant tub of water
0 notes
fereldenturnip · 3 years
Text
But Don’t You Ever Let Me Go
Primo Nizzuto/Majid Zamari Sugar Daddy Fic
Part 1 / ?
(Part 2)
Dedicated to @ournextdoorneighbor
Signor Don Primo Nizzuto is a man of great talent and grave importance. 
The man singlehandedly brought the entirety of Southern Italy under his thumb before the age of thirty. Towns simultaneously hail Primo a hero, then quake at his passing shadow. He has only known Primo for all of three days and here he is, under the warm Mediterranean sun, offering Majid his own vineyard with a bat of his eyes. As if he has several already and gifting them away to strangers is just another Tuesday. 
They loop around the hilly fields, dallying through rows of burgeoning grape plants. Primo, his personal tour guide, comes to a halt in front of one particular bush. In the shade, his fingers trail along gnarled branches and pluck a ripe, dark fruit off the vine. He presents it to Majid with a smile, and he feels a lot like Persephone eating the pomegranate. 
Twenty-four year old Majid Zamari is no man’s fool, and he knows power and danger when he sees it.
Majid has done this same song and dance before. It nearly got him killed. After a three-month stint rebuilding his broken body, Majid left the hospital and fled from the cold-grey gloom of the Netherlands. He made a new home in Rome, learned the language, got a real job, and swore to himself he’d never fall for the same tricks again.
Somewhere in his early to mid-fifties, Primo exudes a predatory aura that’s tempered with genuine interest. He tugs another fruit and gleefully tosses it in the air to catch in his mouth. Easy on the eyes, his floppy hair is streaked with grey, as is the manicured goatee on his square face. The colour of his eyes oscillate between green, blue, and grey depending on his mood. Green like a care-free spring day. Grey like hardened steel set to strike. Majid sees green directed at him more often than not. 
Coming under Primo’s radar was a fluke. Shaking the man’s hand and spending time with him was, honest-to-God, not Majid’s original intention. But Primo is no Hakan. He doesn't hide behind a fatherly veneer and withhold his affection when disappointed. Charming though he may be, Primo’s brand of violence is centre stage for all to see and Majid to marvel at. 
While Majid can appreciate that honest, no-strings-attached personality, he's weary nonetheless. One burn is more than enough to keep his hands from the flames.
They amble back up to the villa, the tall cypress trees casting long shadows--it’s getting late and there’s still the long drive back to Rome to look forward to. Majid digs his hands into his jean pockets, suddenly regretting not snagging his jacket on the way out. Primo leads them up the patio staircase with the terrace overlooking his domain. 
“I was serious,” Primo chuffs, “It’ll be easy transferring the deed into your name.”
Majid shrugs, scratching his head. He’s been thinking about growing his hair out again, really embracing the change. It’s so easy to imagine himself standing here, hair long and casual, barefooted and sipping coffee. Every morning a true treat, a real dream come true… 
…If he deserved it.  
"Thank you, Signor Nizzuto, but I'm afraid vineyards are rather useless to a Muslim." Liar, he thinks, you're a good Muslim like Primo Nizzuto is a good Catholic. Just two wolves in sheeps' clothing. All they’re good for is blood and violence.
Primo leans back on his elbows over the railing, the gorgeous Italian countryside a stunning backdrop. His salt-and-pepper hair is haloed by gold fields, green trees, and blue skies. The man squints, surely thinking something devious, then brooms it all away to smirk at Majid. 
"Alright, I understand," Primo says magnanimously. Majid doesn’t sigh in relief. "My driver can deliver you back to your flat, unless I can't... tempt you further?" A piercing, heated look. Although Majid is taller than him, he nevertheless feels small under the Don’s keen gaze. He braces himself and, oh Primo could certainly try, but at what cost? 
Majid shakes his head. The man stands and brushes his bespoke suit clean, spotless and breathtaking as the day he met him underneath the arches of the Basilica of Santa Maria in Trastevere. Fortuitous fortune or catastrophic calamity? The jury is still out on that one. Majid’s hesitancy is just due-diligence. 
"Until next time," Primo tips his head and saunters away, only to return with a lascivious quip, “and please, call me Primo.” 
Heels click, fading away on Tuscan marble. Majid’s lips thin. Of course there'll be a next time. Sharks can't stay away once they've sniffed blood in the water.
****
What Primo wants, Primo gets. 
Through any means necessary, even fire and blood. Satisfaction is not a delayed gratification when you own half a country. 
Thirty years. That’s how long it’s taken to build his mighty empire, and he sits high and mighty on his throne. Some would say it's assembled from the skulls of his enemies, innocent and evil. Primo scoffs at such triteness. He's earned his place at the top of the food chain, fair and square. 
So when a sweet thing like Majid comes along, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, Primo wants. He wants all of him, and not the ‘naïve foreigner’ façade Majid’s keen on exuding to the rest of the world.  
Those sombre eyes of his are exquisite, wrought with pain and suffering that peaks Primo’s insatiable curiosity. Just what exactly is the boy hiding behind those inky depths? Still waters run deep. The young man may have fooled everyone else (possibly even himself), but Primo’s been playing this game longer than Majid’s been alive. He can sense the violence, can feel the feral nature buzzing beneath that supple young skin of his (and what an attractive thing he is to behold). 
There lies an entirely different person and Primo chomps at the bit to meet him. Primo wants to electrify him, make the blood in his veins sing, wind him up and watch him go because he can already picture just how beautiful Majid would look bathed in sweat, come, and blood. 
So, when Majid denies him, Primo should feel frustrated. He should demand and take, break him over a hard surface until he's howling for release, as is his due as King Shit on the Mountain. 
He, in fact, does the opposite. He walks away. See? An old dog can learn new tricks. 
Majid is a welcome challenge. One Primo never knew he missed until he left him standing by his lonesome on an open terrace. For the first time in his long life, Primo thrills for The Hunt. He'll have Majid. One day. 
Patience is a virtue, Nizzuto. Majid will come begging, and then he'll beg to come.
88 notes · View notes
swanqueeneverafter · 5 years
Text
What Dreams May Come, Pt.24
Tumblr media
Henry's Dreamscape. Aboard The Jolly Roger. (Having stowed-away inside two barrels, Hook and Henry check the coast is clear before making their move.) Henry: (Disgusted:) "Yeah, I definitely smell like pork. Let's never do that again.” Hook: “Agreed. (Sniffs:) Hopefully, they won't smell you coming.” (Drawing their swords, they make their way across the ship where they spot a lone pirate checking the rigging.) Henry: (Pressing his sword into the man’s back:) “Turn around.” Smee: (Slowly turning around:) “Captain!” Hook: “Shh, shh, shh, shh! Quiet, Mr. Smee.” Smee: “I'm sorry I let Blackbeard take the Roger.” Hook: “Look, you can apologize later. How many men are still loyal to me?” Smee: “There's me, um, Hudson the Cook, uh, and One Eyed Jack.” Hook: “Oh.” Smee: “Maybe.” Hook: “Hmm.” Henry: “What? That's it? I thought you said the crew loved you.” Hook: “Well, what I meant was that they will love me after they learn that I have the map to Davy Jones' Locker.” Blackbeard: (Arriving with the crew:) “But you don't have the map, Captain. (Taking the map out of Hook’s hand:) I do. Poor Captain Hook. Brought low by a man he despises. First, I took his ship and then his map, and, uh, pretty soon, I'll take his life.” Hook: “Ooh, big words. It's a shame you don't make good on them.” Blackbeard: “One more word, and your foul-smelling friend here, dies!”
Tumblr media
Hook: “Oh, you don't want to do that. You can't go around killing royalty, and this here is Prince Henry of Storybrooke.” Blackbeard: (Withdrawing his sword:) “Oh. Very well. (Bows to Henry:) In that case, set a course for Davy Jones' Locker. And, uh, once we know the map is real, (Holds his sword at Henry’s throat:) we'll offer the sharks a royal meal.” Kingdom of Valencia. Throne Room. (Gareth walks across the room eating a chicken leg when a voice stops him dead in his tracks.) Richard: (Draped across the throne:) “Hello, my friend.” Gareth: “Richard!” Richard: “Surprise!” Gareth: “What are you doing here?” Richard: “Oh, just thought I'd pop in for a visit. Come here, you. Give us a hug. (As they hug, Richard’s crown falls off:) Oh. My favorite crown.” Gareth: “Don't worry. I'll get it.” (When Gareth stoops down to pick up the crown, he and Richard swap places.) Richard: “What the hey, Gareth?” (When Richard turns his back, Gareth sees a knife sticking out of it, before Richard collapses to the floor.) Gareth’s Chambers. Gareth: (Awakening from his nightmare:) “Aah!” The Queen’s Chambers. (Madelena is woken by Gareth’s screams.) Queen Madelena: “Oh, bloody hell. Not again!” Sid’s Quarters. (Madelena storms into Sid’s quarters, yelling.) Queen Madelena: “That is the third time this week the king has woken me because of his screaming!” Sid: “I think he's having bad dreams, My Queen.” Queen Madelena: (Folding her arms:) “I want you to fix it.” Sid: “How do I do that?” Queen Madelena: “Not my problem. What is my problem is his screaming is interrupting my beauty sleep, and do you know what happens when a queen loses her beauty sleep?” Sid: “She can sleep in later because she's a queen and she can do whatever she wants?” Queen Madelena: “She could get a wrinkle. And if she gets a wrinkle... She'll make sure you get a wrinkle. On your neck! (She leaves. Then, a moment later, returns:) I'm sorry. I'm not being very clear. I'm really tired. What I'm trying to say is if you don't fix it, I'll cut your throat. Okay? Nighty-night.” The Land Without Magic. New York. Regina & Emma's Hotel Room. (Emma bites into an authentic New York bagel.) Emma: "Mmm. That's what I remember." Regina: (From the other room:) "Don't spoil your appetite for tonight, now." Emma: "I'm not, I'm refueling. Seriously, Regina, we must have gone to every store in the city." Regina: "I didn't hear you complaining when we were on Madison avenue." Emma: (Smiles:) "True, but you have to admit, I did earn it." Regina: (Chuckling:) "That you did. Who knew you were such an exhibitionist?" Emma: "Trying on clothes in front of my wife is hardly what I'd call exhibitionism."
Tumblr media
Regina: "I was referring to the strip teases you'd give me at each outfit change. (Entering the room:) So, what do you think? You can hardly tell I'm pregnant in this, right?" (Emma's mouth opens and closes several times as she takes in Regina's ensemble. Wearing a leopard skin top beneath a faux fur jacket with black booty shorts, Regina is a sight to behold.) Emma: "You look amazing. But er... that's not for tonight, right?" Regina: "Why, what's wrong with it?" Emma: "T-there's nothing wrong with it. I just-" Regina: (Laughs:) "Oh relax. You don't seriously think I'd be seen in public like this do you?" Emma: "Then why buy that stuff?" Regina: "Well, New York may not have clothes that the Evil Queen would wear, but when I saw this, I thought it was exactly the sort of thing Roni would love." Emma: "Hey, as far as I'm concerned, Roni has great taste." Regina: "I thought you'd like it." (Winks.) Emma: "Mm. You know what I'd like to see even more?" Regina: "What's that?" (Emma gets to her feet, walks over to stand in front of Regina.) Emma: "I wanna see just how well we fit together in that huge tub in the bathroom." Regina: (Smiles:) "I like the way you think." Emma: "After you. ‘Cause I just gotta see how your ass looks in those shorts." (Chuckling, Regina turns and walks seductively towards their ensuite bathroom. Emma following closely behind her.) Henry's Dreamscape. A Small Hut In Richard’s Kingdom. (Richard and Ella sit opposite an imposing looking man who is the leader of the new militia. After returning to Richard's kingdom, he and Ella discovered that the people had chosen to live in a democracy, meaning that Richard was no longer king. In addition to this, Richard’s former subjects knocked down the castle in order to build houses for themselves.) Richard: "So, you can imagine my surprise when I return to what used to be my kingdom and find out about all this." Militia Leader: "In our defense, you were gone an awfully long time." Richard: "All right, that's fair. That's on me. I should've sent a pigeon or two. However, while I am no longer your king... Unless, of course, you'd like to put it to a quick vote? All in favor? Yes? Anyone? (Looks around the hut:) Hmm? No? Fine. (Clears throat:) But if I were still your king, I would force every one of you to join us, not because I was a tyrant and a terrible leader, but because true love is rare and worth fighting for. It is life's greatest purpose.” (A woman steps forward.) Roberta: “I’m sorry, true love?” Richard: “Oh yes. Sorry, didn’t we explain? Very well, we came here to recruit some soldiers, depose Madelena so Ella here can reclaim her kingdom, and after that, be reunited with her true love, Henry. So... As someone who is ‘not’ your king... I ask... Who will join this fight for true love?” (There is a long, embarrassing moment as no one seems interested in joining their quest, until...) Roberta: “I will join, King Richard!” Richard: (Smiling:) “Well, there we go. That's a good start. Right. Who's next? (Man coughing:) Anyone at all? (Murmuring:) Well, this is certainly uncomfortable.“ Militia Leader: “If we did decide to join you, what would be in this deal for us?”
Tumblr media
Richard: (Reaching into his pocket:) “Perhaps I have something that might help. Jewel of Valencia! Boom!” Ella: “Where did you get that?” Richard: “I smuggled it out when Henry and I escaped from the kingdom.” Ella: “How? You didn't have anything with you.” Richard: “I swallowed it.” Ella: “But, it's huge.” Richard: “Believe me, I know. I had to slather it with bacon grease to choke it down.” Ella: “That's insane.” Richard: “No, what's insane is when it came out. Now I know what my mother was always complaining about.” Militia Leader: “Enough! We have a deal. I mean, rinse it off one more time... And we have a deal.” Ella: “Excellent.” Richard: “Uh, can I just say, it is so nice to negotiate with men of honor. I mean, you outnumber us ten to one. You could've just as easily murdered us and kept the Jewel for yourself, but, you, sir, are a class act.” (Ella and Roberta share a pained look as the Militia Leader realises the truth in Richard’s words.) Small Hut. Exterior. (Ella, Richard and Roberta run quickly from the hut, the Militia now after them.) Richard: “We’re leaving!” Roberta: “Grab the horses, pup-pup!” Richard: “Right! (Stops running:) Uh...Pup-pup? Well, no one's called me that since... Wait a minute. (Turns back around, completely oblivious to the fact that Ella and Roberta are dueling with several members of the militia:) Are you Roberta Steingas?” Roberta: (Overpowering, disarming and then knocking out a militia man:) “I am!” Richard: “Oh...My...God! Bobby Steingas! Why didn't you say something?” Roberta: “I didn't think you'd remember me. Duck!” (Richard does and Roberta throws a knife at an oncoming assailant.) Richard: (Stands:) “Not remember you? Are you crazy? We grew up together, you big dummy! (Roberta laughs and engages another man in combat. Walking casually over to Ella:) Ella, you're not gonna freakin' believe this! Our new traveling companion is Bobby Steingas! She was one of the children my parents used to hire to play with me!” Ella: (Struggling with a bearded man:) “Do you think maybe we could catch up later?!” (Ella punches the man and turns to take on another.) Richard: “Oh, sure, she was 7 and I was 13, but it just worked, you know? (Ella catches a knife out of the air mere inches from Richard’s face:) Yeah, we can talk about this later.” (Richard, Ella and Roberta make a successful getaway on horseback. Losing their pursuers in the woods, Ella turns her horse to face the other two.) Ella: “Richard, I need you to focus. Yes, it's good you smuggled the Jewel out in your...” Richard: “Bottom. Well, mouth first.” Roberta: “Wait, what?” Ella: “But we can't have any more mistakes. This Jewel is now our key to getting an army and stopping Madelena once and for all.” Richard: “Don’t be forgetting about Henners.” Ella: (Coldly:) “We’ll see.” Richard: (To Roberta:) “That didn’t sound too promising.” (Roberta shakes her head in agreement before they follow Ella deeper into the woods.)
Tumblr media
Kingdom Of Valencia. (Not knowing the best way to speak to the new king, Sid tries the direct approach.) Sid: “Sir, have you been having bad dreams?” Gareth: (Pushing him against a wall:) “Who's been telling you I'm having bad dreams?” Sid: “The queen! She's heard you screaming at night and wants me to help!” Gareth: “Come here.” Sid: (As Gareth drags him to a quiet corner. Whimpers:) “Oh, God, this is it!” Gareth: “Shut up! I'm not gonna kill ya! (Sid sighs in relief:) Yes, okay. I've been having bad dreams about King Richard. I don't know what to do.” Sid: “Well, when I was younger, I had a recurring nightmare. But then my mum helped me figure out what it meant, and it went away.” Gareth: “No, this is more complicated than that. It's more of a riddle. I'm always holding King Richard's crown! He's accusing me of betraying him.” Sid: “Yeah, that's a real enigma. Do you think that maybe you're feeling... I don't know... A little...Guilty?” Gareth: “What's ‘guilty’?” Sid: (Laughs, the realises Gareth is serious:) “Oh, um... When you feel bad about what you've done.” Gareth: “That's not a thing! I'm wasting my time talking to you!” (Gareth walks away. Looking across the courtyard, Sid gulps as he sees Madelena making a throat slitting gesture towards him.) The Land Without Magic. New York City. Night. (Emma and Regina are having dinner at a fancy restaurant, talking, laughing and generally getting to know each other a little better.) Emma: (Catches Regina staring at her:) "What is it, do I have something on my face?" Regina: (Smiles:) "No, you're perfect. (Emma rolls her eyes:) I mean it. After everything you've been through in your life, how can you possibly be this open, tender and warm human being?" Emma: (Laughs:) "Well not everyone would see me that way. I've been told plenty of times that I'm just the opposite. Closed off, hard, cold." Regina: "Some of us cultivate that persona." Emma: "True, but then you'll agree that it takes the right person to see through all that, to get to the good stuff." Regina: "I do." Emma: "You know, it's pretty rare, but the fact that we're so alike works for us. Usually they say opposites attract." Regina: "Who's they?" Emma: "I don't know, 'they' 'them', whoever. It's just something people say." Regina: "But are we that alike?" Emma: "Of course we are. Do you want me to make a list? (Regina nods:) Okay, first word that comes into your head to describe your childhood. One, two, three, go." Both: "Lonely." Emma: (Smirks:) "See?" Regina: "Yes, but Emma, I'm responsible for your loneliness." Emma: "Mm. Obviously there’s a case to see things like that, but I don't." Regina: (Chuckles:) "Which I have never understood." Emma: "Okay, well I'll try and make it clearer. Back when you were little, your mother made the decisions about your life for you. My parents did the same. Whereas Cora wanted you to have the life she wanted, my parents sent me away so that I may one day restore the life they had." Regina: "Yes, but even so, if I had not cast the curse-" Emma: (Cutting in:) "Thanks to the Evil Queen, I have glimpsed what my life would have been like as the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. You saw it too, how meek and miserable an existence that was." Regina: "That wasn't real. It was a fictional realm created by a wish." Emma: "Perhaps. But deep down in my soul, I know that is just how my life would have turned out if they never gave me up." Regina: "Are you seriously suggesting that you're glad I cast the curse?" Emma: "I'm saying that for everything that happened, for everything you and I overcame, I would do it all again in a second. Because now I realise that everything happened precisely as it should. Precisely." Regina: (Tears in her eyes:) "Dance with me." Emma: (Glances around:) "I'm not sure there's dancing here, Regina." Regina: "Sure there is. (Offers her hand and Emma takes it. Together they walk to the middle of the dining room and begin to dance, whispers:) You're right." Emma: "I know. Which part exactly?" Regina: "About us being alike. Because there's nowhere I'd rather be, than here with you. "  
Tumblr media
Henry's Dreamscape. Campsite. (Ella sits alone studying the map while Richard and Roberta catch up on old times.) Richard: (Walking over:) “Hey, Ella, listen, I want to apologize again for screwing up earlier. I was only trying to be helpful, but I promise, from now on, I'm going to do everything right.” (Sits across from her.) Ella: “You're sitting on the map.” Richard: “Oh, sorry. (Reaching underneath himself:) From now on. (Accidentally tears off a corner of the map:) Sorry. From now now on. Sorry.” Ella: “No need to apologize. Listen, I was thinking from here on out, maybe I'll do the hero thing... Alone.” Richard: “What? Why?” Ella: “Well, because you nearly got us killed by those mercenaries and the countless other times you've put our lives in jeopardy.” Richard: “But helping you is all I have right now. I mean, what else would I even do?” Ella: “I don't know. For argument's sake, maybe you could spend some more time with Roberta. Hmm? I mean, you two obviously have something going on.” Richard: “Me and her? Are you serious?” Ella: “No. I just said it to get out of an awkward situation, but, actually, now that I think about it, yeah, that would be a really good way to get you out of my hair.” Richard: “Okay, that is officially the grossest thing I have ever heard. Me and Bobby?! I mean, we played together as children! She's like a sister! And not the kind of sister you marry.” Ella: “Yeah, look, I know it's hard to see people in a different light. Unless someone comes up with a ridiculous plan to force you together. (Thinks:) Apropos of nothing, why don't we all go for dinner tonight, hmm? Somewhere candlelit.” Richard: “Hmm. So... Anywhere?” Ella: “Yeah, pretty much anywhere at all.” That Evening. A Romantic Restaurant. (Ella is going over everything with the maître d.) Ella: “So, as soon as we're all seated, you come and send for me. (Roberta arrives:) Oh, Roberta! Ooh, you look amazing!” Roberta: “Please excuse the dress. The blouse I usually wear under it has completely disappeared.” Richard: (Following:) “Wha... mine, too!” Ella: “Must be fairies. Big problem around here. Shall we sit? (To Roberta:) You're over there.” Roberta: “Okay.” Ella: (When Richard attempts to sit down:) “Uh! You're across from her.” Richard: “All right.” Ella: (Taking her seat:) “Isn't this nice?” Waiter: (Approaches, a crow perched on his arm:) “An urgent crow for you, miss.” Ella: “Oh, thank you. Unexpected. (Reads the parchment:) Oh. I've got to take this. Uh, you carry on without me. (Plucks a rose from a vase and hands it to Richard:) Here.” Richard: “Oh, thank you.” (While Richard smells the rose, Ella forcefully makes him give the rose to Roberta instead.) Roberta: “Oh. Thank you.” (Ella leaves.) Richard: “She's... She's a bit odd. (Roberta laughs:) I'm sorry. This is crazy. If you had told me a week ago that I would be sitting here with my old pal Bobby, I'd say you've got a goblin in your head. (Roberta chuckles:) Oh, guess what! I can still fit my entire fist in my mouth. Do you want to see?” Roberta: “Oh.” Ella: (Watching from afar:) “Oh, Richard, honestly, do I have to do everything myself? (Calling the minstrels to her:) Lutes. Viols. Irritating little crumhorns. (Now dressed as a minstrel:) ♪ Gaze at the person across from you now ♪ ♪ Feel the sweet spark of connection ♪ ♪ If you don't screw up this moment somehow ♪ ♪ Maybe you won't die alone ♪ (Ella and the minstrels circle Richard and Roberta:) ♪ Don't be too needy ♪ ♪ Or bring up your ex ♪ ♪ Don't say the words ♪ ♪ "Herpes simplex" ♪ ♪ Don't ever mention ♪ ♪ You've never had sex ♪ ♪ Trust me ♪ ♪ I promise ♪ ♪ She knows ♪ (Ella lowers Roberta’s hair:) ♪ And now her defences are starting to fall ♪ ♪ Smile and return her affection ♪ ♪ If you don't manage to ruin it all ♪ ♪ Maybe you won't die alone ♪ (Ella and the minstrels walk away from the table.) Richard: “It is the damnedest thing, but... Looking at you right now...” Roberta: “Yeah?” Richard: (Putting his head in his hand:) “I mean, it's almost as if...” Roberta: “You're on fire.” Richard: “I mean, I don't know that I'd say I'm on ‘fire,’ but...” Roberta: (Pointing:) “No, no, you're on fire!” Richard: (Realises his beard is smoking:) “Oh! Oh, oh, God! Agh! (Stands, running from the table, with Roberta following him:) Ow! Oh, God!” Ella: ♪ Don't begin screaming ♪ Richard: “Oh, oh! Oh!” Ella: ♪ You'll blow the whole mood ♪ Richard: “Oh, no! Ow! Ow!” Ella: ♪ Maybe you won't die alone ♪ Richard: “Oh, God! Ow!” Ella: (Fed up, slumps into Richard’s empty chair:) ♪ Maybe you won't die alone ♪ Aboard The Jolly Roger. (The crew bring down a net containing Davy Jones' Locker in front of a bound Henry, Hook & Smee.) Blackbeard: "Well, Prince Henry, you'll be as amazed as I am to find your washed-up old pirate actually led us to Davy Jones' locker. (Laughs:) Oh, and to a watery grave for all three of you. Let's have a look at what we've stolen from Davy Jones. (Shatters the lock with the hilt of his sword:) Oh, good Lord. (Reaching into the chest:) There it is. The Star Sapphire of Davy Jones. The ring with which he took his pirate bride and now a worthy addition to the legend of Blackbeard, scourge of the sea, the elegant duke, (While Blackbeard pontificates, Hook frees himself:) the crown prince of plunder, the baron of looting.”
Tumblr media
Hook: (When Henry notices:) “I stubbed my boot on this nail a thousand times. It's about time it proved useful. (Hook frees Henry, holding the dagger in his hand:) You want an adventure, lad? Now's your chance. Go and get yourself that ring.” (Henry stands, closing the chest and punching one of the crew. Soon Hook and Smee join in the fighting as Henry makes his way across the ship to Blackbeard.) Blackbeard: “You're a quick lad. But are you quicker than the legendary Blackbeard?” (They duel, with Henry quickly disarming the pirate.) Henry: (Holding his dagger to Blackbeards’ throat:) “Clearly, yes, I am.” Blackbeard: “Enough!” (Upon his order, the crew cease fighting.) Henry: “Now give.” Blackbeard: (Handing over the ring:) “Next time we meet, you won't be getting such a fine gift as this for your bride.” Henry: “Wait. How do you know about a bride? (The crew begin to laugh, sheathing their swords:) This was a set-up? Is any of this real?” Blackbeard: “Well, the treasure is. Let's just split it three ways and go home. A deal's a deal, Hook.” Henry: (Holds up the ring as Hook approaches:) “Meaningless. You’ve made a fool of me.” Hook: “I know, lad. I thought if I helped you with this, then (Sighs:) maybe I... I don't know.” (He looks over at the sails whipping in the wind.) Henry: “Hook, I'm sorry, but I came to find adventure and now it seems, even in my dreams that the idea of me being a hero is fake.” Hook: “Lad, it looks like this adventure is about to get less fake. (Thunder rumbles:) I've never seen a storm blow up like this.” Blackbeard: “No captain alive could steer us out of this.” Hook: “I'll take up that challenge, and you can stop pretending to be captain. Man your stations!” Henry: “Hey. I can help, you taught me how to sail, remember?” Hook: (Nods:) “Then grab a rope. We gotta get out of here!”
6 notes · View notes
bad-draft-stuff · 3 years
Text
c. AU 4
spoopy slug
Arsé-kun: --Sunday, October 24th-- Sheepy: Grif: Kay. Are you ready? We must find a Quest Item for Grandpa so he can commit insecticide. Arsé-kun: *Kay stops to give Grif a very flat look. No. No, he is not ready yet.* Sheepy: Grif: Great. Me too. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... No. Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif: I see. You're very slow. Arsé-kun: Kay: I've been up. Ten minutes. Sheepy: Grif: Hm. I've been up longer. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cool. Don't care. Sheepy: Grif: You should. Worms are important to the environment. Could you replace worms? Arsé-kun: Kay: What??? Sheepy: Grif: i see. You are unaware. Sheepy: Grif: The early man obtains the worm. Do you fear it, Kay? Is that why you insist on being late? We must obtain the worm. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... It's the early BIRD, not man. Same idea, not how it goes. Sheepy: Grif: I am no bird. Arsé-kun: Kay: We already established that. Sheepy: Grif: Yes, and yet you call me one. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not what I said, dumbass. Sheepy: Grif: I'm confused. Arsé-kun: Kay: You said the saying wrong. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure fuckin' hope so. Sheepy: Grif: You wish for my prolonged vision... Sheepy: Grif: You are kind. Arsé-kun: Kay: bah, humbug. Sheepy: Grif: I will try my hardest, but I have lost it before, so I cannot guarantee anything. Sheepy: Grif: However, if I lose it once again, I will not let you see my injuries. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good, don't wanna. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Let me go change my shirt and we can go, aight? Sheepy: Grif: I will wait here patiently. Arsé-kun: *Kay exits scene. Kay returns to the scene a few minutes later, now ready to leave and brushing questionable fur off his shirt* Arsé-kun: Kay: I threw the costume shirt on, whatever. Halloween week n' all. I'll wear the rest later on, I don't care enough. Sheepy: Grif: I don't know what that is. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... The costumes we got. I am using part of it as a normal shirt. Sheepy: Grif: I am wearing sad man shirt. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... .... Sure, close enough. Sheepy: Grif: He is green from sadness. Sheepy: Grif: However, I feel joy at the concept of going out with you. Sheepy: Grif: So perhaps sad man shirt is unfitting. Sheepy: Grif: Next time, I will wear orb shirt. Arsé-kun: Kay: Uh. Okay. Sheepy: Grif: Have you seen it? Sheepy: Grif: He's an orb like Dad, but has a face. Such is the invention of humankind. Sheepy: Grif: Dad sometimes buys clothing for me, but it often doesn't fit right and has text I cannot read. However, if he were to visit, I would feel obligated to wear it, uncomfortable as it is... Sheepy: Grif:...Ah, right, going out. Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Should we go now? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I guess. Sheepy: *Grif starts dragging Kay to the store.* Sheepy: Grif: We arrive. *he proceeds to walk in...to glass door!* Arsé-kun: Kay: You're sure you aren't a bird? *he opens the door* Sheepy: Grif: ?! Sheepy: Grif: Amazing...! Arsé-kun: Kay: It has a handle for a reason, dumbass. Sheepy: Grif:...Where else do they have such things...? Perhaps see through walls are all over...?! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... .... It's glass. And yes. Yes it is. Arsé-kun: Kay: The fuck you think windows are made of? Arsé-kun: Kay: Now stop being an idiot in public. Sheepy: Grif:...Windows are made of wall... I see... Sheepy: *Grif walks into the other glass door.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... You are exceptionally difficult. Were you always this stupid? Sheepy: Grif: I dislike this place. Let's go home. Quest failed. Arsé-kun: Kay: No, you're just an idiot. It's not completely see through. Stop acting like it is. Sheepy: Grif:.... Arsé-kun: Kay: *he pulls the second door open, and pushes Grif in* Sheepy: Grif: ?! Sheepy: Grif: I see... We're in. Sheepy: Grif: *He doesn't seem willing to move from his spot.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... You are the worst. Come on, dipshit. Arsé-kun: *Kay hooks his arm around Grif's and just starts walking away. Lets Fucking Go* Sheepy: Grif: I see. I have heard of this before. Arsé-kun: Kay: Look, you've already maxed my tolerance meter. Don't talk. Sheepy: Grif: Date. Definition: Romantic outing. Arsé-kun: Kay: Who the fuck would go on a date to the fucking lovmart? You absolute cosmic imbecile. Sheepy: Grif: Lovmart... Sheepy: Grif: But it contains love in it. Arsé-kun: *After a bit, a quest gets updated. An old one. [My Wal-Heart is Yours!] has updated! "Make a purchase without incident"* Arsé-kun: Kay: That's the fucking name, don't ask me. Arsé-kun: *eventually they get to the right aisle. Kay doesn't bother looking over all the options, he just grabs the most decent looking one and calls it a day* Sheepy: Grif: You're very good at locating things. I suppose that would make you a lo-Kay-tor. Sheepy: Grif:.... Hah. Hah. Hah. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I'd laugh if I was in a good mood. I'm not. Sheepy: Grif: I'm in a good mood. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay. Sheepy: Grif: I see. You are in a bad mood. Bedi told me that smiling can make others happy. Sheepy: Grif: Behold. *He gives Kay a bloodthirsty grin. His sharp teeth seem so much sharper now.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... You look like a cartoon shark trying to convince others that they don't eat fish. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Is it that bad? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Sorta. Maybe. Eh. Sheepy: Grif: I tried very hard... Arsé-kun: *Kay kinda just pats Grif's shoulder before looking off into the distance. thinkin about.... food* Sheepy: Grif: Maybe smiling is too hard right now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. ... Hey, you want food? I'm gonna buy food. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Thank god. I was gonna fuckin' do it anyway. Sheepy: Grif: What are you getting? Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... .... I didn't get that far. Sheepy: Grif:.... Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't know... Man, I shoulda ate before we came ouuuut.. Sheepy: Grif: Now we can eat together. Sheepy: Grif: Many foods can be eaten for lunch. Sheepy: Grif: For example, you can take any food and if you put a bread on top and a bread on bottom, you get lunch. Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, yeah... Arsé-kun: *they eventually buy food and leave. eventually. kay has already clocked out for the day and it's like 2 pm* Sheepy: Grif: I feel joy. Sheepy: Grif: However... I feel a great fear of the possibility of being trapped in the store for forever. Sheepy: Grif: Therefore, I will never go alone. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's on purpose. The longer you stay, the more likely you are to buy. So it's a hellmaze. Sheepy: Grif: ?! Sheepy: Grif: How cunning...! Sheepy: Grif: I know of a solution. Arsé-kun: Kay: Is it yarn? Sheepy: Grif: Destroy every wall in front of you until you find the exit. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't do that. Sheepy: Grif: It will work. Sheepy: Grif: Paths never work. Here is why. Sheepy: Grif: If you put out a path, it will be eaten. For example, a path of bread will be eaten by birds. Sheepy: Grif: And yet, the gingerbread house they lead up to is untouched by birds. How unrealistic. Birds would go for that first. Arsé-kun: Kay: One, you don't eat yarn. Two, who would touch a house that an evil witch lives in? Sheepy: Grif: A bird. Birds are oblivious to the concepts of good and evil. They do not exist within the culture of birds. Arsé-kun: Kay: Birds do understand the concept of danger, though. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... but if it rained, the house would be soggy and moldy. This story is inaccurate. If I were a witch, I would live in a nice cabin. Arsé-kun: Yog: What in the nine realms are you two discussing?? *thanks Paimon for ur input* And your phone rang several times. Sheepy: Grif: We're discussing the flaws of the Little Mermaid. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's Hansel and Gretel, not the Little Mermaid!! *but he does stop to check his phone, nearly dropping it in the process. fun egg* Arsé-kun: Kay: ?! Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: I was wondering where the mermaid was. Sheepy: Grif: I wonder who it is. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not in that story. Also, Lot says he invited you to the chick hunt. No idea why, since you don't hunt chicks or women. Sheepy: Grif: Lot... invited me...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Apparently. Lets go find them making embarrassments out of themselves. Sheepy: Grif: I made a good impression last night...! Amazing! I wish to join this "chick hunt"! We will eat chicken tonight!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Ain't gotta do with that either, but I'll consider cooking. Sheepy: Grif: You'll cook? I want to learn from you. Sheepy: Grif: But first, chicks!! Arsé-kun: Kay: You got a leak in your memory? I answered that already. Sheepy: Grif: I see. You, too, are excited. Sheepy: Grif: Let's go, let's go. Sheepy: Grif: We can't stand them up. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can because I wasn't invited. You can't. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: I see. Where do I go, then? Arsé-kun: Kay: I have no idea. Even if we go where he told me, there's a chance they've already moved. Sheepy: Grif:....I must hunt Lot to hunt chicks... Sheepy: Gawain: Maybe people will like you more if you smile! You're so stiff. Sheepy: Agravain: I couldn't care less about making others like me. I'm perfectly happy to make you a stiff as well. Arsé-kun: Kay: What? You're making stiffs? It better be stiff drinks or I'm coming over there. Sheepy: Agravain: No, the kind you put six feet under. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, don't you think he should smile? Or at least use some skin care products? Arsé-kun: Kay: I've seen him smile. It made me think a puppy was about to be kicked. Sheepy: Gawain: Maybe that's the first step to making friends. Sheepy: Grif: He kicks puppies? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, but you'd think he does Sheepy: Grif: H Arsé-kun: Lot: No, he does not, and hello! I see you found us despite my bad directions. Sheepy: Grif: They aren't bad. They simply don't exist. Arsé-kun: Kay: He did give me directions. I ignored them and found Gawain anyway. Sheepy: Agravain: He's so loud you could locate him regardless of where he was. Sheepy: Gawain: I'd rather see it as me being so bright and shiny that you could find me no matter what, just like the sun. Arsé-kun: Kay: Get this bitch some clouds. Sheepy: Grif: I will always find you, no matter how far you run, no matter how well you hide. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, you're screwed now. Sheepy: Gawain: How does he take one comment and make it so scary? Arsé-kun: Kay: Talent. Arsé-kun: Kay: High intimidation stat. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not being a pussy ass bitch. Sheepy: Grif: Why do we hunt chicks? If we let them grow they will lay eggs. Sheepy: Grif: Then they're chickens. Sheepy: Gawain: I feel like you intentionally forgot the actual meaning... Arsé-kun: Lot: Girls, Griflet. We're trying to work up the courage to talk to girls. Except Gawain, he's got the current top score. Sheepy: Grif: Do you fear girls? Arsé-kun: Kay: Women can be hella scary, especially when they gang up on you. Sheepy: Grif: I know very few women. Sheepy: Grif: I know your sister. Sheepy: Grif: That's the extent of my list. Arsé-kun: Lot: And we exclude family in the counting, so most of us are at single digits still. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif:..... Arsé-kun: Lot: The current problem is finding one even willing to just talk. Sheepy: Grif: It's not as though her hands are so heavy she cannot hold them herself. Arsé-kun: Lot: It is a gesture of affection for two people to hold hands. I certainly hope they do not have that issue. Sheepy: Grif: I knew that. Arsé-kun: Kay: M-hmmmm.. Sheepy: Grif: Kay did it earlier, so of course I do. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wh-what?! No I did not!! *he is visibly flustered rather suddenly* I had your arm so you'd stop running into glass doors...! You fuck! Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Tristan: Oh! To think...! Kay, what a suave move! To go in for the forbidden hand holding so soon! It moves me! Arsé-kun: Kay: I didn't!! Why would I do that?! Sheepy: Grif: Wall doors... Arsé-kun: Kay: I've met dogs smarter than you. Sheepy: Gawain: Are you a bird or something? Arsé-kun: Kay: That's what I said!! Sheepy: Grif: I don't like the store. I don't want to go back. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey! Speaking of birds, check out that chick! She isn't really my type but she's kinda cute, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: If you're looking at who I THINK you're looking at... Sheepy: Gawain: Eh? Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, maybe she's more your type, Lot. Arsé-kun: Lot: Hmm. I don't think so. Sheepy: Gawain: Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... .... Grif, tell me not to punch him in the face. Sheepy: Grif: I am not your boss. Arsé-kun: Kay: Absolutely unhelpful. Sheepy: Grif: You can punch anyone you put your fist onto. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're right. *and he promptly goes to sock Gawain in the shoulder* Sheepy: Gawain: Ow! Arsé-kun: Kay: Y'know how Aru's my sister? I got two. You're not allowed to treat my sisters like college whores! Sheepy: Gawain: Eh?! Two?! Sheepy: Gawain: Well, heck, she wasn't really my type anyway! Arsé-kun: Kay: .. Or my brother, but he's a pussyshit doormat bitch. Arsé-kun: Kay: Either way, de-fucking-nied! Sheepy: Gawain: Brother??? Sheepy: Artoria: --How dare you. You act as though I have no ears and talk about me as though I cannot hear you! Get on the ground and give me 50. Arsé-kun: Kay: You heard the woman! Sheepy: Gawain: What??? Sheepy: Gawain:...Would I seem more attractive if I did pushups, right here and now? Arsé-kun: Lot: ... Despite everything, he's still winning. Sheepy: Grif: She demands money and his height advantage. I see. Sheepy: *Gawain has begun doing pushups.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, cause she needs the help with that second one. Sheepy: Artoria: Bend down so I can get on your shoulders, since I apparently need more height. Arsé-kun: Kay: Nah. Sheepy: Artoria: I don't need you to bend down, actually! If you turn around, I can just latch on! Arsé-kun: Kay: You're going to just be a little gremlin in public. I see. Arsé-kun: *Lance silently watching this from over There with the good table. He wants no part of it.* Sheepy: Artoria: Little...! I'm still growing!! Arsé-kun: Kay: You said that last year, too. Sheepy: Artoria: I'm working on it. It's a long term project! Sheepy: Gawain: Did you two both completely forget about me...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Aw, shit, he's still here! Sheepy: Grif: I was shorter too once. Sheepy: Grif: And then I grew taller. Sheepy: Grif: That is how you stop being short. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Anyway, Artoria, considering that Gawain's winning this "chick hunt", from "Doomed" to "Dumpster Fire", how do you predict the rest of this will go? My money is on "Christmas Goat Fire" Sheepy: Artoria: *she gives Grif a blank expression, her stern look completely dissipating. How does she respond to that?* ....Uh, right, how is this man winning anything? Sheepy: Tristan: Perhaps they feel as though they're getting a discount by getting his services for free. Arsé-kun: Lot: It helps hes a jock. Sheepy: Tristan: Jocks get everything in life... Love, money, concussions... Arsé-kun: Kay: More fucking concussions, Sheepy: Gawain: I'd rather more money and less concussions! Arsé-kun: Kay: Any more and you'll start sounding like Grif! That is a threat! Sheepy: Grif: What is a concussion? Sheepy: Grif: It sounds tasty. Arsé-kun: Kay: My point has been made! I settle my case, your honor. Sheepy: Gawain: I'll start saying stupid things? Sheepy: Gawain: That's a scary threat... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Oh, yeah, maybe that already happened. Sheepy: Grif: Concussion... Concussion... Paimon, define concussion. Sheepy: Gawain: There's no way this guy hasn't had one before. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, no doubt. Sheepy: Grif: ? Did I like it? Arsé-kun: Yog: Noun. Temporary unconsciousness or confusion caused by a blow on the head. Symptoms may include headache, confusion, lack of coordination, memory loss, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, ringing in the ears, sleepiness, and excessive fatigue. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: If someone hit me in the head I would simply say no and punch them. Sheepy: Gawain: Maybe you'd be well suited for football. Arsé-kun: Kay: Absolutely not. Sheepy: Artoria: I know a professor who would like him at least. Sheepy: Grif: Football... Sheepy: Gawain: You take a ball and bring it to the other side. Sheepy: Grif: I would never waste my time on such a task. You can do it. Sheepy: Gawain: It's not a waste of time. It's fun. Sheepy: Artoria: Until you irreparably injure yourself. Arsé-kun: Lot: Don't bother. We've said the same thing. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, her friend is pretty hot. And she's tall! Precisely your type, Lot! Arsé-kun: Lot: Why are you like this? And wher--- *he spots exactly who Gawain is referring to. oh no. Oh No.* Sheepy: Gawain: See? Your type! Go on, go on! Arsé-kun: Lot: Uh.... I don't know about this.. Sheepy: Tristan: I am imagining beauty in my mind... Sheepy: Tristan: Ah, but it's just a mirror. Arsé-kun: Lot: I don't know, Gawain, she looks like the type that could kick my ass. Sheepy: Gawain: Make your brother talk to her. She can't beat him up. And then when she's angry, swoop in and save the day. Sheepy: Artoria: You're really awful, aren't you? Arsé-kun: Lot: I'm not doing that! Sheepy: Gawain: Then just go and talk to her. Arsé-kun: Lot: Okay, fine! C'mon, Tristan, you're my moral support. Sheepy: Tristan: Yes! The time has come...! Sheepy: Tristan: Let us go! Arsé-kun: Lot: Why are you so excited all of a sudden...? Sheepy: Tristan: To be a wingman for my closest companion fills my body with excitement. Arsé-kun: Lot: *he just sighs and sets off* Sheepy: *Guin is trying to convince Satoru to get off of the ground. It's not working very well.* Arsé-kun: Lot: ... What's going on over here? *focusing his attention on Satoru mostly* Sheepy: Guin: He's decided he's an ant. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm an ant. Arsé-kun: Lot: What a big ant you are. Sheepy: Satoru: No. You're just small. Arsé-kun: Lot: Touché. Sheepy: Guin: Did you need something, or were you just concerned? This is normal. Arsé-kun: Lot: I'm not gonna lie, one of my friends insisted I come talk to you, but him being on the ground was more concerning. Arsé-kun: Lot: I appreciate it, but I'd prefer not to. Sheepy: Guin: Talk to me? Sheepy: Satoru: Uncle Mozzy would be an ant. I should ask him instead. Sheepy: Guin: What did you need to talk to me about? Arsé-kun: Lot: ... *he sighs* Our jock friend has invoked the operation to flirt with girls and hasn't realized he's the only willing participant. Please pardon me. Sheepy: Tristan: *snore* ... ... hm? ... Hah! I was not sleeping. Worry not, he is a very kind and loving boyfriend. Sheepy: Guin: And so he made you come over and talk to me? Arsé-kun: Lot: Yes. Sheepy: Guin: Well, you can tell him I'm not interested in dating anyone unless they're both a good person and can beat me in a fight. Arsé-kun: Lot: I'll do that. If he approaches, go easy on him- I don't want to bring him to the hospital. Sheepy: Guin: I'll try. Arsé-kun: Lot: Thank you. Come along, Tristan. Sheepy: Tristan: We're leaving? I see... I did not wingman well enough... How sad, how sad! Sheepy: Satoru: Some ants have wings. They often shed them. If you could have wings just briefly only to shed them when you reached your destination, would you do it, knowing return may be difficult? Arsé-kun: Lot: Hmm? No, I don't think I would. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: *Lot goes back to Gawain eventually* Arsé-kun: Lot: She wants to throw down for the right to date. I am not taking that kind of risk. Sheepy: Gawain: What? Really? Sheepy: Gawain: Maybe...I've got a chance? Sheepy: Artoria: No, I don't think you do. Sheepy: Tristan: I am distressingly bad at being a wingman... Arsé-kun: Lot: It's okay, you tried. Arsé-kun: Kay: Go try, Gawain. I wanna watch you get your ass kicked. Sheepy: Gawain: What's the worst that could happen? Sheepy: Tristan: She's looking for a good person. I suppose you could qualify, but I have my doubts... Sheepy: Gawain: It can't hurt to try! *he starts heading over* Sheepy: Grif: When I go to beat people up in public, I'm told it's "bad" and will "scare people". But when Gawain does it, it's "flirting". Sheepy: Grif: I see. I don't want to be seen as flirting. I can't do it anymore. Arsé-kun: Kay: No. Gawain's an idiot and taking a challenge. You beat people up for other reasons, like being a fucklord. Sheepy: Grif: I like to beat up my uncle. Arsé-kun: Kay: Valid. Sheepy: *In thr background, Gawain was on his feet. Now he's in the air. Now he's on the ground.* Arsé-kun: *Poor Gawain. He continues to have a permanent home under the bus he was once thrown under* Sheepy: Artoria: You're enabling him to attack people, Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: Nah, his uncle is a cunt. Sheepy: Grif: He torments students for fun. I must protect the students. Arsé-kun: *Lance, still hanging out in the background, only saw Gawain get yeeted and genuinely has no idea what the fuck is happening.* Sheepy: *Guin seems satisfied at least.* Arsé-kun: *Lance wisely decides to make sure Gawain didn't get yet another concussion somehow* Sheepy: Guin: Did he drag you into this too? Arsé-kun: Lance: He is the reason I am here, yes, but I was not participating. Gawain, are you okay? Sheepy: Gawain: Ouch... Arsé-kun: Lance: Do I need to fend her off for you? Sheepy: Guin: Oh, you want to face me, too? *she, oddly enough, actually seems excited!* Arsé-kun: Lance: Here? Now...? We're in public.. Sheepy: Guin: We can wait until we're not in public. Arsé-kun: Lance: ...... Then certainly. Sheepy: Gawain: Weren't you electrocuted just yesterday? Arsé-kun: Lance: I'm not going to get tazed. Sheepy: Guin: Are you still hurt? Arsé-kun: Lance: Unfortunately. I was hoping it would fail to be brought up. Sheepy: Guin: I can't fight you yet. Arsé-kun: Lance: I apologize, we'll have to postpone. Sheepy: Guin: I'm willing to wait. I'm Guinevere, by the way. Sheepy: Satoru: And I'm an ant. Arsé-kun: Lance: I'm Lance- ? ?? *notice child* Sheepy: Guin: I'm babysitting him. Sheepy: Guin: He won't be there when we fight. Don't worry. Arsé-kun: Lance: I would hope not. He doesn't need to see that kinda thing. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Gawain, you are you sure that you're okay? Sheepy: Gawain: I've been knocked down worse in football. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... If you say so. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, it's not like I hit my head. Arsé-kun: Lance: If you did, you would probably die. Sheepy: Gawain: I doubt that! Sheepy: Satoru: If I played football I would die. Arsé-kun: Lance: Me too. Sheepy: Guin: Most people would. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Wow, I'm even losing to the gun nut this time around and I wasn't even invited. Sheepy: Satoru: Guns? I've seen them before. Sheepy: Grif: Paimon. Define gun. Arsé-kun: Yog: ....... Arsé-kun: Yog: Noun. A weapon incorporating a metal tube from which bullets, shells, or other missiles are propelled by explosive force, typically making a characteristic loud, sharp noise. Sheepy: Grif:........ Arsé-kun: Yog: In other words, the thing the gym teacher carries. Sheepy: Grif: The loud pellet machine is a gun. Arsé-kun: Yog: Correct. Sheepy: Grif: I don't like it. It's loud. Arsé-kun: Kay: The gym teach can shove it up his ass. He's already a massive douche. Sheepy: Grif: Can the pellets hurt you? Arsé-kun: Yog: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: If Dad visited, would he get hurt? Arsé-kun: Yog: That would depend on the gun. Sheepy: Grif: I need to destroy guns to protect Dad. Arsé-kun: Yog: You can't. They are self-defense devices. Or are supposed to be. Sheepy: Grif: So Dad is unsafe? Arsé-kun: Yog: .... Most handheld guns such as pistols and revolvers would be unable to do significant damage. I'm going to go play Doom now. The original. Sheepy: Grif: DOOM: Game. Noise guns make. What I inflict on my enemies. Arsé-kun: Yog: *a bit quieter* Grif, please. Sheepy: Grif: ...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, enough out of the peanut gallery. Sheepy: Grif: Uh, okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Despite their name, peanuts are not nuts, but rather legumes. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, that'd be a cool fact for me to share with a girl. Girls usually look for brains! Arsé-kun: Kay: You have those? Brains? They're not splattered along the inside of your skull? Sheepy: Gawain: Sometimes I wonder, with how bad my headaches can get, if it's worth keeping it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Get a new one. Sheepy: Gawain: Who do you think I am, the Frankenstein monster? Sheepy: Grif: You're able bodied enough that I'm sure Glaaki would like to borrow you in exchange for removing the headaches. ... ... ... Sheepy: Grif: Ha. Ha. Ha. Sheepy: Gawain:.....? Arsé-kun: Yog: That is enough from the peanut gallery, as it is said. Thank you for your input. I may forward it. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Okay, I will not actually do that. That would be cruel. Sheepy: Grif:? Arsé-kun: Yog: .... I lied, one final notice. Your grandfather is in range, so I will leave before that situation sets in. Arsé-kun: *[Quest: You Shant!] completed in advance!* Sheepy: Grif: Grandpa is here.... Sheepy: Grif: Kay, have you met my grandpa? Arsé-kun: Kay: I wanna see Merlin get decked again. Sheepy: Grif: My uncle says I get my brains from my grandpa. Arsé-kun: Kay: Go deal with that. Shoo. Don't bring that shit over here. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Sheepy: *Grif goes to talk to Aza* Arsé-kun: *Aza is sitting on top of a fence, just kinda peoplewatching. How he doesn't have a spike up his ass is beyond me.* Sheepy: Grif: Grandpa, I've completed your quest. Arsé-kun: Aza: ? Sheepy: Grif: Bug spray. Arsé-kun: *Aza blankly stares at him for several moments before remembering* Arsé-kun: Aza: Yes, yes, for the Shan. Sheepy: Grif: I have it now. Sheepy: Grif: Do you still want it? Arsé-kun: Aza: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif gives Aza the bug spray* Sheepy: Grif: My friend bought it. He is very nice. Arsé-kun: *Quest officially completed for real. Xp gained. The status screen will update later.* Sheepy: Grif: I did it. Sheepy: Grif: I completed the quest. Sheepy: Grif: Do you have another quest before I go, Grandpa? Arsé-kun: Aza: ..... I need to give you something in return first, do I not? Sheepy: Grif: It’s up to you. Arsé-kun: Aza: Hmmm. Well, what would you like? Sheepy: Grif: ...apple. Arsé-kun: Aza: ... I have heard of this. The question now is "Am I correct?" Arsé-kun: Aza: .... I have decided. One of these is correct. You may have all of them. *he hands Grif three things from... From who knows where. A very dusty phone, a pineapple, and an actual apple (but something is definitely wrong with it).* Sheepy: Grif: Uh... thank you. Sheepy: Grif: This apple reminds me of a chestnut. Arsé-kun: Aza: A chest nut? Sheepy: Grif: It's a nut covered in spikes. Sheepy: Grif: I ate one before and got sick. Arsé-kun: Aza: I will be wary of this chess nut. Sheepy: Grif: You must. I got very sick. Sheepy: Grif: Artichokes are dangerous too. Arsé-kun: Aza: They must be. The english word "Choke" is contained inside of "Artichoke". Sheepy: Grif: You're right... Arsé-kun: Kay: *distantly* Grif, you're stupid! Sheepy: Grif: Behold, my new friend. He is very nice. Arsé-kun: Aza: He sounds wonderful. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I like him a lot. Arsé-kun: Aza: Interesting. Arsé-kun: Aza: Enjoy your apple. I am going to, what is the word? Lure? Around for a little while longer, before I am forcefully removed from the plane. Sheepy: Grif: Lure... like a fish. Arsé-kun: Aza: ... No, that is not it. Arsé-kun: Aza: L... Lur... ... *he is struggling* Arsé-kun: Aza: Ya nnn-uh’e llll c-ult-agl r’luh, hai'ep ya fhtagn. (tl; i watch people at your place (in) secret, then i sleep) Sheepy: Grif: Sothoth nnn-uh’e fhtagn f’-agl, too (tl; santa watches people sleep in their place, too) Arsé-kun: Aza: ah. Sheepy: Grif: Ho ho ho. Arsé-kun: Kay: You sound like several raccoons fighting over a stale pizza! Sheepy: Grif: What is a raccoon? Arsé-kun: Aza: I know this. They are the ashy-void little creatures. They enjoy waste product. Sheepy: Grif: I want to touch one. Sheepy: Grif: We can spy on them from the darkness and sneak up on them as they go into the trash. Arsé-kun: Aza: It feels like a cat. Sheepy: Grif: Elyan should see it, too. He wants to be a cat to fit in with Fou. Sheepy: Grif: Kay, let's go pet raccoons. Sheepy: Grif: If you won't, I'm sure Merlin will. Arsé-kun: Kay: A raccoon isn't a fucking cat! Sheepy: Grif: Not a cat? But still soft? Sheepy: Grif: Like a dog? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... It's closer to a big, fat fucking squirrel. Sheepy: Grif: I know of this creature. Sheepy: Grif: It's like a rabbit but not at all. Sheepy: Grif: Truly, there's so much going on behind them. Arsé-kun: Aza: ..... what is a rabbit Sheepy: Grif: A vicious beast that can decapitate anyone foolish enough to approach it in a single blow. Arsé-kun: Aza: *implied blank stare* Sheepy: Grif: ...It's a joke, of course. Sheepy: Grif: They're... *he puts his fingers up by the side of his head* Sheepy: Grif: Like this. Sheepy: Grif: And they hop a lot. Sheepy: Grif: They're small and soft. Sheepy: Grif: And they have big teeth. Arsé-kun: *Whatever Aza is imaging, there is a 99% chance it is also wildly wrong* Sheepy: Grif: It's... it's... It goes, uh... ... it... it...? Sheepy: Grif: ...tasty. Sheepy: Grif: It eats... things. Sheepy: Grif: Like clover. Arsé-kun: Aza: Herbivore. I understand that part. Sheepy: Grif: It has big ears on top of its head. Arsé-kun: Aza: So a hopping raccoon... Sheepy: Grif: ........... Sheepy: Grif: ..........................what is a raccoon? Arsé-kun: Aza: That. *he gestures to a raccoon that JUST SO HAPPENS to be passing through the scene. It's too early for this boy to be up but he's hungy* Sheepy: Grif: !! Sheepy: Grif: I must touch it... Arsé-kun: *the raccoon leaves.* Sheepy: Grif: No...! Arsé-kun: Kay: You'd probably just get rabies or something, you dumb bitch. Sheepy: Grif: Define rabies. Sheepy: Grif: Unless I must go to the doctor for it I care not if I get to touch a raccoon. Arsé-kun: Kay: You absolutely fucking do. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Grif: I can just die. Arsé-kun: Aza: I know this one. Consider dogs towards your brother. Someone infected with rabies will act like that towards everything. Arsé-kun: *Also, Kay staring at Grif real hard* Sheepy: Grif: Hm... Hmmmm... Sheepy: Grif: It is how I normally act in battle. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well! You better stop doing that! Sheepy: Grif: Impossible. Sheepy: Grif: When I begin a fight, I have a habit of going berserk. Arsé-kun: Kay: So like someone with rabies. Sheepy: Grif:...Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I have rabies. Arsé-kun: *Kay busts out laughing* Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Kay: It makes sense! You hate water, you're basically feral but worse, and you already died! You're just missing the foam! Sheepy: Grif: Foam? Arsé-kun: Aza: Foam? Sheepy: Grif: Like the material, I'd assume... Arsé-kun: Kay: No. Sheepy: Grif: Then what is it? Arsé-kun: *Kay now has to explain Rabies and what he knows of it to Grif and his grandpa. He only knows this much from several researches he committed because he didn't trust Fou at the time.* Sheepy: Grif: So if I caught it and bit you, you would certainly catch it. Sheepy: Grif:.... But it's not useful for enemies. Arsé-kun: Kay: I would also most certainly die. Sheepy: Grif:...Can dragons catch it? Arsé-kun: Kay: How the fuck should I know? I'm not a vet. Sheepy: Grif: Vet? Sheepy: Grif: Why would dragons visit a vet? Sheepy: Grif: When Dad brought me to the vet when I was little they said I wasn't at the right type of doctor. Arsé-kun: Kay: Vets handle lizards! A dragon is a bigger, stronger lizard! It's their problem! Arsé-kun: *Kay gets a text message. It's Yog, using his phone as a conduit* Arsé-kun: Yog: [text: to Kay] Reptiles (such as lizards and snakes), amphibians (like frogs), birds, fish and insects do not get or carry rabies. Dragons cannot get rabies. Please pass this on. Thank you. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Your dad says dragons can't get rabies. Sheepy: Grif: I'm safe. Sheepy: Grif: So is Dad. He will visit soon. I can feel it. Arsé-kun: *Aza, no longer paying attention and just watching other people,* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Aight. Sheepy: Grif: Did you know, Kay? Sheepy: Grif: Dragons are shapeshifters. They can take any form they please. ...However, I... Arsé-kun: Kay: You look fine. Shut up. Sheepy: Grif:...am incapable of this. How embarrassing. Sheepy: Grif: I care very little about my appearance, but if I were to be capable of shapeshifting... I think I'd be taller. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't like that. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Grif: Do you like being able to stare down on everyone? Sheepy: Grif: Maybe one day I'll grow a little taller. Hm...hmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: What makes one grow taller? Arsé-kun: Kay: No idea. Sheepy: Grif: You're taller than me. You should know. Arsé-kun: Kay: Nope. Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunate. Sheepy: Grif: Are we forgetting something important? We came here with Lance and Lot, but I feel as though someone is missing. Sheepy: Grif: There's that sad man too. Tryst. Arsé-kun: Kay: Them, us, Gawain, Aggy, my sister and her friend, Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: And the little kid. Sheepy: Grif: Yes.... Sheepy: Grif: Gawain is gone. Arsé-kun: Kay: Probably chasing a girl around. Sheepy: Grif: Why chase girls? Sheepy: Grif: Doesn't it seem needy and desperate? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's stupid and horny. Sheepy: Grif:...like a lizard? Sheepy: Grif: Dad tells me that it's often a good idea to act a little interested and then let your crush approach you, but if it's such a good idea, everyone would do it and nobody would ever be the one to confess. However... Sheepy: Grif: If I were to ever end up in such a situation, I would not lose. I would never be the one to confess. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ghh.. You're such a pain in the ass. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: You're gonna make me do all the work? ... I'm kidding, of course. Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: Nevermind. Sheepy: Grif: I don't understand, but don't need to. Arsé-kun: Lot: --So shall we presume Gawain won yet again and call it a day? Sheepy: Tristan: Yes. He always does. Sheepy: Tristan: However, as long as I am with my closest companion, I am the winner in my heart. Arsé-kun: Lot: Time was up twenty minutes ago, but I was hoping he would come back. Oh, well. He'll be back by tomorrow. Sheepy: Tristan: Yes... Sheepy: Tristan: He must have gotten preoccupied. Arsé-kun: Lot: I think we both know what he is up to. Sheepy: Tristan: Of course. What else? Sheepy: Tristan: We could, however, claim victory all the same. Arsé-kun: Lot: That would be wrong. He won fairly. At least we have a score over 0 this time. Sheepy: Tristan: Do we? Arsé-kun: Lot: We talked to Guinevere. That counts. Sheepy: Tristan: I see... Sheepy: Tristan: She intimidates me. Arsé-kun: Lot: She is very pretty, don't get me wrong, but I agree. Sheepy: Tristan: Is she? I desire the ability to gaze upon beauty. Arsé-kun: Lot: You have eyes. Sheepy: Tristan: To behold such a beautiful woman in such an ugly world... Ah, I could not do such a thing. She, too, would become one with the ugliness. Sheepy: Tristan: Even someone as beautiful as me is tainted with ugliness. No. I will not ruin the image in my mind with reality. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah... what would your type be... Sheepy: Tristan: Tall. Arsé-kun: Lot: It is. Sheepy: Tristan: Well, that's all I've got. Arsé-kun: Lot: You only have tall? Sheepy: Tristan: I have no clue what else to visualize. Sheepy: Tristan: Hm...strong, based on Gawain's loss at her hands... Arsé-kun: Lot: Oh, easily. Sheepy: Tristan: Dependable. Long hair. Musical talent. Ah, wait, I've begun describing myself. I cannot assume such things about her. Arsé-kun: Lot: You always do this. Sheepy: Tristan: What do I do? Arsé-kun: Lot: How did we get from describing her to you? Sheepy: Tristan: Hahaha... Sheepy: Tristan: Perhaps at times I imagine myself as your type. Arsé-kun: Lot: ... Are we doing this in public now? Sheepy: Tristan: It's a joke, of course. Arsé-kun: Lot: Gawain left, so.. Sheepy: Tristan: How convenient, it seems it was not a joke after all. I tricked you twice. Arsé-kun: Lot: Oh no. You got me twice. Sheepy: *Tristan seems genuinely pleased with himself!* Arsé-kun: Lot: So my place or yours? Sheepy: Tristan: Yours, of course. Living with Gawain is sad. Arsé-kun: Lot: And who knows when he could show up, very true. Arsé-kun: *Kay making the math lady face in the background* Arsé-kun: Lot: So this leaves Lance with the dorm to himself, and with Gawain out of the way. Win-win. Arsé-kun: Lot: wait Sheepy: Tristan: I am waiting. Arsé-kun: Lot: Wait no I messed that up Arsé-kun: Lot: Lance gets to deal with us but the jock's absent. Some win. Sheepy: Tristan: Yes, exactly. Sheepy: Tristan: Hopefully Lance can tolerate me for a little longer. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, you two have fun but *fingerguns* Don't be too stupid. Sheepy: Tristan: Of course. We will be smart. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm going the fuck home and taking the halfbaked fuckwit with me. Sheepy: Grif: Kay, can we pet a raccoon on the way home? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm glad you knew I was insulting you. No you cannot. Sheepy: Grif:...Insult? Sheepy: Grif:....Eh, I thought you were calling me a potato. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's ALSO an insult! Sheepy: Grif: Foolishness. Sheepy: Grif: Potatoes are the Earth's apple. Arsé-kun: Kay: motherfucker I have been insulting you since day one and I TOLD you I would. Sheepy: Grif: It is no insult to be the fruit that many rely on. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fine, okay, you great potato famine. Sheepy: Grif: Hah! So I am! *he seems pleased with himself.* Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, we can head home now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Please! And don't talk in whatever in public, y'all were about a metric fucksecond from giving me a migraine. Sheepy: Grif: R'lyehian? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, that. Sheepy: Grif:...Eh, but.. Arsé-kun: Kay: I said in public, not ever. Sheepy: Grif: Hm... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Okay, fine, but keep it down a little. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great doin' business with you. Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif:........? Arsé-kun: *Kay groans* Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll explain on the way back. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Let's go home. Arsé-kun: *They do. Kay does explain on the way there.* Sheepy: Grif:...I understand now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good, cause I ain't doing it again. Hey, chucklefucks! We're home! Sheepy: *Aru rushes over to Kay.* Sheepy: Aru: You were with Lance, right? He's okay now, isn't he? I didn't hurt him too much? He's fine? He'll pull through, won't he? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, he's fine. He'll live. He's probably done worse stuff stupider. Sheepy: Aru: Thank goodness. I thought Caliburn killed him for sure. Maybe it'd open up more if I gave it a nickname... Sheepy: Aru: You think Calvin sounds close enough? Maybe Bernie? Hmmm... But it came from a rock, so maybe it'd like Rocky. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe if I list off every name in the baby names list I'll stumble upon the name of the ghost and it'll talk to me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Taser Fuckbitch the second. Sheepy: Aru:...Would it get mad at that? Sheepy: Aru: I'm starting to think it doesn't like me. I talk to it every day and it never responds. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's a fucking sword. Sheepy: Aru: Well, if there's a ghost inside, I suppose it's a good listener. Arsé-kun: Kay: A taser and a ghost? Who comes up with this shit? Sheepy: Aru: The creator of the sword. Sheepy: Aru:...I want to meet her one day... Although, Merlin might not really be thrilled about it considering she's had bad interactions with his family in the past. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck 'em. Arsé-kun: Kay: Lance almost got in a fistfight with one of Artoria's friends because she kicked Gawain's ass. Gawain deserved it. Sheepy: Aru: He just got electrocuted and now he wants to fight people? Sheepy: Aru: Hmm... Sheepy: Aru: Like a boar. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's the only reason they didn't. Gawain brought it up and Lance was like.. *makes a very grumpy expression* Sheepy: Aru: They'll try to fight until they finally die, regardless of their injuries. Arsé-kun: Kay: Nah, that's not him. That's Gawain in football. Sheepy: Aru: He was upset because his chance was taken from him? Arsé-kun: Kay: He got embarrassed because he was injured. What a loser. Who gets embarrassed by that? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: Other than you, fucklechucks. Sheepy: Grif:...It'd be a little embarrassing now, I think. Sheepy: Grif: Cool knights come out unscathed. Arsé-kun: Kay: Knights wear ARMOR so they don't die. You're just an idiot. Sheepy: Grif:......Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: That's what I was missing. Sheepy: Grif:...A joke, of course. I wear armor generally. Arsé-kun: *distant sound of ITS JUST A FLESH WOUND* Sheepy: Aru: Speaking of boars. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll wait till that scenes over to pass through there. Sheepy: Aru: If you think about it, Bedi's pretty similar to the Bedivere in that movie. Arsé-kun: Kay: You calling him dumb? Sheepy: Aru: Well, it's moreso getting carried away with logic and not considering reality, right? Sheepy: Grif: I neither get carried away with logic not consider reality. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can't defend any of that. Sheepy: Aru: It's not bad to think outside of the box. Arsé-kun: Kay: *badly imitating Grif* What box? I see no box. Sheepy: Grif:...? heepy: Grif: Box... Sheepy: Grif: Do you want a box, Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I was imitating you. Sheepy: Grif:.... Arsé-kun: Kay: That's what you probably would have said. Sheepy: Grif: You don't look enough like me to imitate me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Your dumbassery has no bounds. Sheepy: Grif: I look a lot like my dad. It is why my Charm is so high. Sheepy: Grif: Soon you will meet him. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh boy. Can't waaaaaaaaaait. *sarcasm* Sheepy: Grif: Do you dislike him, Kay? Sheepy: Grif: He is very nice. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can't wait to clean up the inevitable mess that comes along. Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: Dad is very clean. Sheepy: Grif: But I suppose he wouldn't mind. Sheepy: Aru: That's not what that means. Sheepy: Grif:....Very confusing. Sheepy: Grif: Could it be? Sheepy: Grif: Kay, do you worry that Dad eats people? Worry not. He wouldn't now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Now? That's still concerning. Sheepy: Grif: Of course he used to. Arsé-kun: Kay: So have you.....? Sheepy: Grif: Why would I? Arsé-kun: Kay: Why should I know? Sheepy: Grif: I don't have a statement to make. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's fair. Aru, is anyone else here? It's quiet... Too quiet. Sheepy: Aru: Bedi and Merlin are here but they're busy watching a movie. Arsé-kun: Kay: And no one else has mysteriously shown up? Sheepy: Aru: Why would they? Arsé-kun: Kay: Because the whole gang showed up yesterday and I have trust issues. Okay, not really. Sheepy: Aru: So that's normal? Arsé-kun: Kay: No! And it better not become normal! Sheepy: Grif: Everyone says that about me. Sheepy: Aru: No, so far it's been quiet today. I won't have anything to tell Caliburn tonight... Arsé-kun: Kay: Tell Caliburn to stop being a cuuuuuuuuunt Sheepy: Aru: Maybe it's just shy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe it's a fuckin' inanimate object. Sheepy: Aru: It's not! Arsé-kun: Kay: Ookkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy! Sheepy: Aru: Teacher implied it wasn't. He wouldn't imply that if it wasn't true. Sheepy: Aru: He wouldn't lie... right? Arsé-kun: Kay: How the fuck should I know? I don't know the old coot. Sheepy: Aru: He's very smart. Arsé-kun: Kay: If he's so smart, why did he push you onto a dumb art major? Checkmate, bitch. Sheepy: Aru:? Sheepy: Aru: Because he was worried about Merlin, I guess. Arsé-kun: Kay: Lame. Arsé-kun: *Kay decides to go annoy Merlin. By speaking to Bedi mid-movie* Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck off with this, you guys have watched it like twenty times and I have fresh gossip. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Kay, you're home! Arsé-kun: Kay: You didn't hear me yelling? I called you a chucklefuck and you didn't answer. Arsé-kun: *Merlin looks slightly miffed but can't do anything about it. He turns the subtitles on and goes back to the movie* Sheepy: Bedi: It's rude to interrupt a movie, but it's also rude not to answer... Really, I had no good options. Arsé-kun: Kay: Anyway! Gawain won as you'd expect and my sister showed up briefly, but that's not important. Lance talked to a girl today. Isn't that fucking amazing?? Sheepy: Bedi: Amazing! He talks to people? Arsé-kun: Kay: Apparently! And Gawain got his ass kicked by her, too, so I approve. Sheepy: Bedi: Poor Gawain. He always receives the short end of the stick... Although it sometimes appears that he always looks for it, perhaps so no one else gets it. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's too hopeful for potatobrain. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe he should get a different sport. Sheepy: Bedi: But he's too short for basketball... Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. And I can finally confirm the other two goin' at it. Finally. We've been knew. heepy: Bedi: Good for them! Arsé-kun: Kay: They ain't told Gawain yet. I think Gawain is just tied to the bottom of the bus. Sheepy: Bedi: Poor Gawain... Arsé-kun: Kay: One day he'll get his shit together. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe he should try looking around for a new interest he could devote his time to. He likes cooking, but... Arsé-kun: Kay: But he can't mash everything, yeah. Sheepy: Bedi: Lucan tried it once and referred to it as "a crime against humanity" and that "Gawain should stick to potatoes because it's the only thing he knows how to cook". Arsé-kun: Kay: Atta boy, Lucan. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe Gawain could open a restaurant for babies. Sheepy: Bedi: Baby food is just mashed, isn't it? So he could make gourmet baby food. Arsé-kun: Kay: What if he just babysat? That makes money. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, that works too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can you stop trashing Gawain for ten seconds? A good scene is coming up. Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies. I forgot about the movie... Arsé-kun: *AND YER FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!. classic* Sheepy: Bedi: There's a company like that I think. Arsé-kun: Merlin: what Sheepy: Bedi: One that makes gourmet baby food. Sheepy: Bedi: However... do babies know they're eating gourmet? Arsé-kun: Kay: Babies don't know shit. They're useless. They can't even get a job. Sheepy: Bedi: Why give them gourmet food? They'll just throw it onto themselves. Arsé-kun: Kay: Or throw it up, probably. Babies are so stupid. Sheepy: Bedi: They're a little scary, too. They scream a lot and can bite you. Arsé-kun: Kay: What are they supposed to do? Fuckin... *mock british accent, you know which. the stereotypical one* Momther, I desire the teet. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, not biting you would be a start. Arsé-kun: Kay: God, imagine getting bitten on the tit. Nasty. Arsé-kun: *Merlin, staring;* Sheepy: Bedi: Scary... Arsé-kun: *Fou has started chewing on Bedi's hand. Gib attention* Sheepy: Bedi: *he starts petting Fou* Do you think some people don't grow out of it? They just go around biting people? Maybe that's where vampires came from. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are vampires just manbabies with biting habits? Have we been knew? Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe. Babies don't like the sun, do they? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I was kidding. People actually like that have issues. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmmm... Sheepy: Bedi: I thought you were being serious... Arsé-kun: Merlin: No way. Sheepy: Bedi: It's hard to tell. Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* The outlet. The outlet. The. Outlet. Griflet, you are lowering my SAN. Sheepy: Bedi: You rarely seem serious so I take most of what you say seriously so I don't make a joke out of what you say when it's important. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's fair! Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* Define outlet. Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* The rectangle with the small holes. Put the prongs into the holes. Don't break it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I hear tech support. I'm not helping. Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* I feel intimidated by the wall faces. Sheepy: Bedi: He doesn't know much about modern technology it seems. Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* I can't update the OS if you don't plug it in. Arsé-kun: Kay: He told me he knew computers. Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* I will break the prongs. I will do it. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe he was lying? Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* And I will fail you, making you start over entirely. Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* The prongs are so fragile. If I act, I can fail. If I do not act, I cannot fail. Clearly, the best action here is to not act. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm losing IQ and I ain't even there. Sheepy: Bedi: He isn't the type to lie, but... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sounds like grandpa the first time he left his cabin in ten years. Sheepy: Bedi: He did live in a cave, apparently, but wasn't he living on campus before he came to this dorm? Sheepy: Aru: *faintly* This is how you plug it into the outlet, okay? Just don't force it too much and the prongs won't break. Sheepy: Bedi: He did live in a cave, apparently, but wasn't he living on campus before he came to this dorm? Sheepy: Aru: *faintly* This is how you plug it into the outlet, okay? Just don't force it too much and the prongs won't break. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's what he said. Maybe he never had to plug something in. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe... Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* Yes, thank you. Like that. Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* I fear the prongs. Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* May God have mercy on our souls. Okay, please turn it on. Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* I touch this button to turn it on. Right? Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* But if I press too hard, I will break it. I fear the button... Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* Use the kind of strength you expect your roommate to use. Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* Ah. Be weak. I will try my hardest. Arsé-kun: *Kay is almost offended.* Sheepy: Grif: *faintly*....it's an apple. Hmmm... Apple... hungry... Arsé-kun: *Fou gets bored and walks into the other room.* Sheepy: Aru: It's an apple logo because it's by the company Apple. Arsé-kun: *Paimon is on the table, presumably to watch Grif fail* Sheepy: Grif:........ Logo? Arsé-kun: Yog: Their symbol. Sheepy: Grif: So your logos are orbs and keys. Sheepy: Grif:........ Arsé-kun: Yog: Yes. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... It says "hello". Sheepy: Grif:......Uh.... Arsé-kun: Yog: Pick the top option for now. I will change it once I get in. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. I picked it. Sheepy: Grif: It is difficult. I cannot read any of this. There are all of these numbers and I don't understand Sheepy: Grif: Kay knows math. He would know this. Sheepy: Aru: It's asking for a birthday. Sheepy: Grif: Today is its birthday. Arsé-kun: Yog: Press 0. Then 3. 0 again. 2. Sheepy: Grif: I did it. I am now 0302 years old. Arsé-kun: Yog: That's the date. March second. Sheepy: Grif: Behind whom? Arsé-kun: Yog: Griflet, you are reminding me of Grandfather and that is not a good thing. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif:........ Arsé-kun: Yog: The year to put in is- *LOUD TRUCK HORN CENSOR* Sheepy: Grif: I see. I will do so. Sheepy: Aru:...He did it so fast I didn't get the chance to see... Arsé-kun: *Kay isn't plugging march second into his calendar. Nope. You can't prove anything* Arsé-kun: Yog: It should start updating. Once it's done, I will take my turn. Sheepy: Grif: Update... Sheepy: Grif: One day I will update and know more than I do now. I want to be smarter. Arsé-kun: Yog: Then learn. You're not a robot. Sheepy: Grif: I try very hard but struggle. Arsé-kun: Yog: Keep at it. You're making some progress. Sheepy: Grif: I am? Arsé-kun: *Yog brings up the menu. The INT bar has slightly increased* Sheepy: Grif:...! Sheepy: Grif: I am growing smarter. Arsé-kun: Yog: Learn more every day. Sheepy: Grif: One day I will be very smart if just keep working at it. Sheepy: Grif: Like Wilbur. But that'll take a long time. Arsé-kun: Yog: Perhaps. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Oh, speaking of which. Open the door before he gets here. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Oh, finally, someone I can talk to. Tell me not to commit a murder. Arsé-kun: *Wibur looks sorta disheveled* Sheepy: Grif: What happened? Sheepy: Grif: Who hurt you? Sheepy: Grif: I'll tear them to shreds! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: A fuckin' jock shoved me into a locker and I'm thiiiiis close to bringing down the wrath of the old ones! Sheepy: Grif: Who? Who is it? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Big blond guy. Stupid. I believe they've been referred to as, pardon my language, Potato-fucker. Arsé-kun: *Visible Kay confusion as he stops Snooping Around as Usual* Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: I know him. Sheepy: Aru: Gawain? He seemed very nice when I met him yesterday. Arsé-kun: Kay: He wouldn't do that. He's dumb, but he's not mean! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Well, he did. I would not come here in anger just to lie. Sheepy: Grif: Exactly! Sheepy: Aru: ...would he really...? Arsé-kun: Kay: No way. He's not capable of being mean. On accident, sure, but not like that. Never seen him do anything malicious. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe something is upsetting him. Sheepy: Grif: No excuse. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, you "tear him to shreds" and you're outta here. Sheepy: Grif: ?! Sheepy: Grif: Hm... hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: Wil... or Kay...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Lets go find him. I'll beat him up if we have to. It's... *kay stops* Arsé-kun: *Kay checks the time* Arsé-kun: Kay: It's way later than when he usually goes out. Sheepy: Aru: He’s acting differently than usual and not following his usual patterns? Sheepy: Aru: Maybe he’s drunk from a bad potato. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... What?? Sheepy: Aru: Like vodka. ...It was a joke!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Vodka.... Sounds nice about now. Sheepy: Aru: No!! We need to stop Gawain from embracing his jock side! Arsé-kun: Kay: What, you gonna come too? Sheepy: Aru: I could! Arsé-kun: *Kay makes a face akin to the excalibur face* Sheepy: Aru: You don't want me to? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's on you, then, if you get your shit kicked in. I'm getting my gear. Sheepy: Aru:...? Sheepy: Aru: Is your college really that scary? Arsé-kun: *Kay exits scene. Kay re-enters scene a little later with his leather jacket and pads on. The Gear.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Nah, I just don't trust any outting with Grif that isn't a shopping trip. Sheepy: Aru: Oh. Sheepy: Grif: Let's go, let's go! Arsé-kun: Kay: And I swear to god, if this ends up off path? It's your problem alone, Grif. I'm banned and I'm not letting Aru do that. Sheepy: Grif: Why would it? Arsé-kun: *Wilbur joins the party without consent! Jackass.* Arsé-kun: Kay: I got a bad feeling. Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Let's go, let's go. Let us eradicate a jock. Arsé-kun: *Aru joins the party! She is woefully underequipped, though.* Sheepy: *One day she will be better equipped, once she masters Caliburn and gets gear of her own! Maybe. But not right now.* Arsé-kun: *Aru will be in the middle of the pack for her safety* Sheepy: *Grif rushes to look for Gawain!* Arsé-kun: *Wilbur is able to keep up easily. Kay is not* Sheepy: *Aru stays close to Kay. She doesn't trust these two to not start bloodshed.* Arsé-kun: *Wilbur is less inclined to violence, but.....* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... And there they go. Real fuckin' helpful. Sheepy: Aru: Now what do we do? Sheepy: Aru: Do we just go home...? But maybe we should find Gawain first just in case. Arsé-kun: Kay: Try to catch up I guess? Unless we see the jock himself. Sheepy: Aru: Sounds like a good idea. Sheepy: Aru: I haven't seen him yet... Arsé-kun: Kay: Neither have I. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe he has his phone on him. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's a good idea! *he immediately dials up Gawain* Sheepy: *Gawain picks up!* Arsé-kun: Kay: Bro, where are you? You're late. Sheepy: Gawain?: I'm around! Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah? Yeah, are you? Sheepy: Gawain?: Have you tried looking around? Arsé-kun: Kay: What crawled up your ass and died? *he does look around* Sheepy: Gawain?: Really? You give up so easily, don't you? Well, I can relate. Arsé-kun: Kay: bitch I can't see. Sheepy: *...Something grabs Kay from his blindspot!* Arsé-kun: *Kay yells out in shock and tries to pull away!* Sheepy: *Aru screams because Kay screamed.* Arsé-kun: Kay: DUDE WHAT THE FUCK Sheepy: Gawain?: Hey, lighten up a bit! You're too stiff. You should learn to have fun before you become, well, a stiff. Sheepy: *Gawain has an unusually smug grin on his face.* Arsé-kun: Kay: That wasn't funny at all! Seriously, what's up your ass? Sheepy: Gawain?: I've just done a little thinking, and, see... Arsé-kun: Kay: That's a first. Sheepy: Gawain?: Doesn't it just stink being typecasted? The idiot jock, the one constantly getting made fun of. Sheepy: Gawain?: Why don't I just be what they keep calling me, huh? Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Alllll right, quit it. *he puts an arm in front of Aru* Gawain can't even think negatively. Sheepy: Gawain?: ...That easy, huh? Arsé-kun: Kay: This golf club is going right up your pussy unless you identify yourself! Sheepy: Gawain?: You'd really do that to your precious friend? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, you're clearly Gawain and I'm the king of Transylvania! Fuck off! Sheepy: Gawain?: Just when I thought you had some potential... OK, hit me all you'd like! Sheepy: Gawain?: But just remember, every action you take has consequences. Just because I'm not Gawain doesn't mean hitting me wouldn't hurt him. Arsé-kun: *Kay goes to kick Gawain in the nono goodies* Sheepy: Gawain?: Ugh...! ...Hahahaha! Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, cool, I hate you already! Sheepy: Gawain?: Oh, oh! You want to fight?! Sheepy: Gawain?: ...Man, it’d be really nice if I could come up with something from his dark side but he just doesn’t have one. Arsé-kun: Kay: Told you! He's not negative! You picked the wrong ray of sunshine, bucko! Sheepy: Gawain?: He’s basically just a bundle of worries and positivity inside. What a pain! “I need to be successful for my siblings”. “I need to be a good older brother”. “Agravain is looking stressed, can I help him somehow?”... What can I do with this?! Sheepy: Gawain?: I knew he looked like the human equivalent of a golden retriever, but I picked him anyway. Gosh, I should’ve gone for someone else. Who’s an easy target d’you think? Arsé-kun: Kay: If you think I'm helping you, you're stupider than he is. Sheepy: Gawain?: Well, of course you wouldn’t help me. Sheepy: Gawain?: Anyway, let’s fight, huh? Rough each other up a bit? I bet you’ve always wanted to fight a jock, right? Been shoved in one too many lockers? Arsé-kun: Kay: Look at me. Do I look small and nerdy enough for that shit? Sheepy: Gawain?: You don’t look like you’ve had a thought in your life. Sheepy: Gawain?: ... A joke, of course! Arsé-kun: Kay: Ha. Ha ha. Sheepy: Gawain?: Well? Wanna experience the locker? Sheepy: Aru; You talk like a cartoon villain. Arsé-kun: Kay: Where have I heard this before? Arsé-kun: Kay: Sounds like Grif mixed with a cartoon villain.... I feel like I've heard this before. Sheepy: Gawain?: ...Uh oh. Maybe you’ve got potential after all. Sheepy: Aru: ...? Arsé-kun: Kay: *imitating Grif* What is pot ental? Can I eat it? Arsé-kun: Kay: Man, who gives a shit? Leave Gawain out of this- It's already obvious he's useless to you! Sheepy: Gawain?: Ah-ah-ah! That's not how it works, Kay! Sheepy: Gawain?: *he pulls out a switchblade and opens it* Really, you should know that by now! Arsé-kun: *Kay immediately shifts to block Aru from "Gawain" with his entirety.* Sheepy: Gawain?: Hey, you think this'll kick him out of football? *He lifts his other hand before... cutting it with the switchblade! His malicious grin stays despite the bleeding.* Arsé-kun: Kay: WHAT THE FUCK?! Sheepy: *Aru lets out a small whimper but she thankfully isn't crying.* Sheepy: Gawain?: What, you'd rather be the one? Sheepy: Gawain?: It ticks me off you'd compare me to that idiot. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, kind of! Oh, no, you're hitting a defenseless person! You're soooooooooooo tough! I'm so scared of a dumb bitch! Sheepy: *Gawain? lunges at Kay, wielding the switchblade!* Arsé-kun: *Kay swings at him with the golf club!* Sheepy: *Gawain? doesn't react, instead slashing Kay with the switchblade!* Arsé-kun: *Kay steps back, sharply inhaling through his teeth before giving it a second try with the golf club. Fore!* Sheepy: *Gawain? stumbles back.* Sheepy: Gawain?:...Sheesh, he's gonna feel that in the morning. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, good, that's what he gets for sleeping around so much. Sheepy: Gawain?: I thought you'd be a little more hesitant hitting your friend, but- Sheepy: Grif: YOU...! Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, take over! Just don't kill Gawain! Sheepy: Grif: I'll... I'll...! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I'm prepared, Griflet. Allow me to take my turn before we begin the slaughter. Sheepy: Gawain?: Hey, hey, hey! Wait! Let's talk about this!!! Arsé-kun: *Wilbur casts a spell on Grif! It's blue.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh? Oh??? Is it YOU again, janitor? Sheepy: *Grif lunges at Gawain?, more like a beast would than a human. He claws at Gawain?, tearing Nyar out of him! Gawain collapses on the spot.* Sheepy: Nyar: You didn't notice sooner?! You really are stupid- ow, ow, ow! Arsé-kun: Kay: Man, shut up! You lost your rights to speak! Sheepy: Nyar: Wow! Sheepy: Nyar: Geez, your fists hurt...! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: You earned every punch you receive, Uncle Fidget-Spinner. I don't want to see you again. *he joins Grif in giving Nyar a beatdown* Sheepy: Nyar: Ow, ow, ow! C'mon, we'll all forgive each other, huh?! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: You shoved DUNCAN into a locker! There is no forgiveness for you! Sheepy: Nyar: I was PLAYING a PART!! Sheepy: Grif: You hurt Kay! I'll show you no mercy, just this once! Arsé-kun: Kay: Kick his ass! Sheepy: Aru:...but Gawain's... Arsé-kun: Kay: A little hard to..! *gestures* Sheepy: Aru: He's hurt, but... Those two... are really scary. Arsé-kun: Kay: I knew Grif was, but it must run in the family..! C'mon, lets try to go around. Arsé-kun: *Distant rumbling. Too low to be an earthquake. And it's close by..?!* Sheepy: Aru: We need to get Gawain and go, n-now...! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Go as fast as your mortal legs can take you! Not even I want to be here for this part! I'll even help you just this once! Sheepy: *Aru rushes over to Gawain!* Arsé-kun: *Kay and Wilbur both rush over to Gawain, too! Everyone agrees-- It's time to get outta here!* Sheepy: *Aru tries to help them escape with Gawain.* Arsé-kun: *Aru doesn't need to "try"- They have a guaranteed success!* Sheepy: *Great!* Arsé-kun: *The rumbling abruptly stops, like a bad simile stopping the readers' eye as they pause to reread the line* Sheepy: Aru: What... what was that...? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That, unfortunately, was my older brother. Sheepy: Aru:.... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: He is usually much smaller, but he is positively livid. I don't blame him..! Arsé-kun: Kay: Welcome to Weird Shit 101, Aru! If I can do it, so can you! Now lets get home and cry about it! Sheepy: Aru:...Okay. But... Gawain will be okay, won't he...? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: It's just a cut and two bruises, I would presume, he should be fine. Sheepy: Aru: But if he's not? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Then I accept the blame for letting it go that long. Sheepy: Aru:...Well, okay. I don't see how it's your fault, but... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Someone has to take the blame. Arsé-kun: *Meanwhile, back at the Nyar Kicking Grounds! Nyar is being kicked by a child* Sheepy: *Grif is trying to calm down. He's making an attempt. Really.* Arsé-kun: Duncan: --And that, and that! Take this! For being a big meanie! Sheepy: Nyar: Ugh... Everything hurts... Arsé-kun: Duncan: You won't get hurt if you're a good boy! Be good! Sheepy: Nyar: That's not in my nature. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Me too! But I was bad when you were and I'm being good? I think? Sheepy: Nyar: Only bad kids kick their uncles. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Only bad kids hurt other kids! Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah, but I'm not a kid. Arsé-kun: *he DOES stop kicking Nyar* Arsé-kun: Duncan: But you're great grampy's kid, so you are a kid! Sheepy: Nyar:...Uhuh, sure. Arsé-kun: Duncan: You agree? Sheepy: Nyar: I don't think I'm a kid. Arsé-kun: Duncan: You said "sure"..! Sheepy: Nyar: It was sarcastic. Arsé-kun: Duncan: oh Arsé-kun: *Yog has kindly provided a quest marker above all this. Duncan bops Nyar with it. It feels like a pool noodle. No damage.* Sheepy: Nyar: Why? Arsé-kun: Duncan: I dunno! *bop!* Sheepy: Nyar: What, are you going to keep doing that until I apologize? Arsé-kun: Duncan: Good idea! Sheepy: Nyar: I never apologize. Arsé-kun: Duncan: I don't like to either! It feels really bad. I hope I don't have to after making the shaky rumblies! Sheepy: Nyar: Well, you don't have to. Sheepy: Nyar: Why should someone else tell you to apologize? Arsé-kun: Duncan: I did a scary thing! Sheepy: Nyar: It's not genuine if they demand it from you. Sheepy: Grif: I, too, did a scary thing. Now no one will like me. Arsé-kun: Duncan: You got mad! I got mad! Dad is probably mad! Sheepy: Nyar: I didn't. Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, hey, this is what family is all about! Sometimes we bully each other a little but in the end, we're a big, happy family! Sheepy: Grif: No. I still feel all-consuming rage from you hurting Kay. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Tell that to the detive! The. The uhhh. The de'ctive! Sheepy: Holmes: ...Oh, dear, you noticed me. *he comes out of the shadows* I heard all of the commotion and was wondering what was happening. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Uncle Nyar did a meanie thing! He was people puppeting a person! He shoved me in a locker, it was scary! Sheepy: Holmes: I see. Things he's been prohibited from doing. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Grif and Wil beat him up! Sheepy: Nyar: Yep. I've served my time. Sheepy: Holmes: Don't do it again, please. Sheepy: Nyar: I can't say I will, nor can I say I won't. ...Oh, I definitely am. But when? Who? Why? How? Where? Who knows. Arsé-kun: *Duncan lets go of the quest marker. It goes back in the air before disappearing. Bye bye quest marker* Sheepy: Grif: It's gone. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Don't do it again! I don't like lockers! Sheepy: Nyar: Okay, fine, I won't. Sheepy: *Back at the dorm...* Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, great to know... That we're not fit for Track... *huff, puff* Sheepy: Aru: *She's whimpering as one does before they cry. At least wait until Kay catches his breath, Aru!* Sheepy: Aru:....I, I didn't help at all...! You got stabbed a-and I just watched!! *sob* And...and Gawain...! *sob, sob* Arsé-kun: Kay: I didn't get stabbed! It's just my jacket! And Gawain's fine probably! Sheepy: Aru: It's just... your jacket...? Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... I'm not looking down if that's what you're suggesting! Sheepy: Aru:...But... Arsé-kun: Kay: Nope! Sheepy: Aru:...They're scary...! *sob* And when you were in danger, I was thinking, "I'm scared! I want to go back to Teacher if this is what it's like here!" *sob, sob* Arsé-kun: Kay: I told you that you shouldn't be here..! You didn't listen! Sheepy: Aru: But, I...! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: There was only so much that could be done. I wanted to scare what was possessing him, so I apologize for frightening you. That was... Unmanageable. Sheepy: *Meanwhile, Gawain is snoring away like none of this happened.* Sheepy: Aru:...Possession... that happens here...? Arsé-kun: Kay: First I've heard of it. Good to know Grif ain't slacking off though. Sheepy: Aru:...Possession... Sheepy: Aru:...You can interact with creatures possessing things? Arsé-kun: Merlin: What in the holy name of our lord and savior Taco Baco are we yelling about now...?! Sheepy: Aru: Merlin! Gawain is hurt! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eh? Ehhhh??? Sheepy: Aru: So is Kay I think, but not as much as Gawain. Arsé-kun: Kay: You gotta tell me, I ain't lookin'! Sheepy: Aru:...Can you interact with my sword ghost? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: .... Your... Your what, now? Sheepy: Aru: My sword ghost. Sheepy: Aru: I have a sword that I pulled out of a stone and I think it has a ghost in it. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I may need to examine it, but it's probably possible? Sheepy: Aru: Um, I can give it to you, but it has a tendency to shock anyone but me. Sheepy: Aru: Not permanently give it to you, of course. I need it. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Of course. It doesn't belong to me. Sheepy: Aru: Should I get it? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Perhaps save that for the morning. Sheepy: Bedi: Kay?! You've been hurt?! Sheepy: Bedi: It's not serious, is it?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Considering I didn't notice it outside of actually being hit, I don't think so? Sheepy: Bedi: Thank goodness... Arsé-kun: Merlin: -Okay, okay! *he's returned with his staff* Here we go! I'll just cover the whole room for safety's sake! Sheepy: Aru: Do you have a tendency to kill people if you target just them? Is that why it's for safety? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope! I'm gonna be on fire regardless if I don't rout my energy well. Sheepy: Aru: Rout...? Sheepy: Aru: Oh... will I ever have that problem? Scary... Sheepy: Bedi: When Merlin is done, can I have context? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, sure. Too long didnt read version, FUCK Grif's uncle. Arsé-kun: *Merlin heals everyone! Phantasmal flowers cover the room! He is not lit on fire!* Sheepy: Bedi: But everyone is okay, aren't they? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm good. Sheepy: Aru: I just want to go home. Sheepy: Aru: But I doubt I can until I finish what I need to do here. Arsé-kun: Kay: So basically, Nyarly decided Hey! What if I... Steal a human person and cause problems on purpose? Except he took Gawain. Who isn't mean at all. Dumb bitch fucked himself over. It sucked! I almost got stabbed! But it's still better than gym class! Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Sheepy: Aru: Gym class? Arsé-kun: Kay: Gym teacher's a right cunt Sheepy: Aru: Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's a former army guy. Treats us the same way. Most of us can't run a mile, thanks! Sheepy: Aru: Scary... Sheepy: Aru: I hope Teacher doesn't decide that I have to take a class with the gym teacher... he can't do that, can he? I'm not in college! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: For further context, Uncle Nyar is the janitor, a guidance councilor, and a science teacher among other things. He gets bored sometimes, and he isn't inherently good. He is usually stopped before he can do anything, though... Sheepy: Aru: Why so many jobs? How does he even have time to do them all? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: He does. Not with that face, though. Sheepy: Aru: I don't understand... Sheepy: Aru: I just know he's dangerous. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: He has several hundred appearances to use. The fact that he is merely doing this is impressive for his track record. He usually just scares kids out of places. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ... Still hate him, though. Sheepy: Aru: Um, okay. Sheepy: Aru: So usually he isn't this bad... Sheepy: Aru:....Maybe Halloween has him all excited. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... I will give that a confirmation. This is when we are most easily able to cross over, after all. Arsé-kun: *Kay takes his phone out and puts it on the table for Yog. He happened to look down. oops* Sheepy: Aru: He's on your phone insead of with Grif? Sheepy: Aru: Hmm... I hope nothing happened to Grif. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... He's probably fine! *hes jerked his head up* Anyway, too late for this crap. Sheepy: Bedi: It is late, isn't it... Actually, I was just about to fall asleep when I heard all of the commotion. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sorry not sorry. Deal with it in the morning. Sheepy: Bedi: Right. We have class tomorrow. Sheepy: Bedi: Good night, Kay. Call for me if you need anything. I like to think I am easy to wake. Arsé-kun: Kay: Night. *he looks over the rest of the room* I trust y'all can fuck off eventually. I'm out. Fuck this. *he just leaves. fucks 0* Sheepy: Bedi: I'll uninvite Gawain when he wakes up. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ehhh. *he leans back in* He's allowed. Sheepy: Aru: Um... there's a problem. Sheepy: Aru: But it's minor. Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... Rrrright. Arsé-kun: Kay: Uh.... Arsé-kun: Kay: We'll figure something out. Sheepy: Aru: Okay, thanks. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe when Teacher planned this, there was a room still available... Arsé-kun: Kay: Before their dorm got fucked, I did have an extra room. Merlin stole it. Sheepy: Aru: Ah... I was supposed to learn from Merlin, so maybe...?! Maybe the previous dorm had room for me! Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, probably. Sheepy: Aru:...Back at home I had a nice room with a comfy bed and an idea of what my goals were every day. Now I have no room, no idea on where to go next, and Teacher is on vacation in Bermuda. Arsé-kun: Kay: Welcome to college. It's almost exactly the fucking same. Sheepy: Aru: Really? You want to go back home too? Arsé-kun: Kay: Sorta. Probably not for the same reasons, though. Sheepy: Aru: Well, we can support each other, then! Arsé-kun: Kay: As my first act of brotherly support, go the fuck to bed. In mine. Take it, feel free. I'll suffer this once but don't tell anyone I was nice. Sheepy: Aru:...! Thank you! I won't tell anyone unless they ask! ... And maybe Caliburn. Arsé-kun: Kay: The sword hasn't said shit, so big whoop. Sheepy: Aru: Yes... Sheepy: Aru: Tomorrow we might get answers! Arsé-kun: Kay: Tomorrow I have theater class. Goddammit. Sheepy: Aru: Ummm... Sheepy: Aru: Well, good luck with that. Arsé-kun: Kay: Absolutely not. I'm gonna sleep through it probably. Whatever. Go do what you need to or whatever so I can go in. Sheepy: Aru: Right! Sorry! *She leaves and does as asked.* Arsé-kun: *Kay briefly considers downing a cup of alcohol, but decides against it- He needs to get up the next morning. Instead, time to sit in the dark and consider existential dread.* heepy: *Aru eventually finishes.* Arsé-kun: *Kay goes into his room, and just kinda tosses his gear over There. Deal with it in the morning. grabs his pajamas and steps out to change* Arsé-kun: *Kay checks the room over, changes some clothes, checks room over, changes some clothes, ch-* Sheepy: Grif: ...So this is where to change now? Strange choice. But if that's the case... Arsé-kun: Kay: *whisper-hissing* Good lord..!! *he whips around to face Grif* No, I'm out here because my sister's in my room, you git..! How long were you there?? Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Ugh, forget it..! Night, Grif. *he promptly retreats back into his own room. Embarrassed.* Sheepy: Grif: I see. You show off your chest to me and don't let me show mine. It's not interesting anyway. Arsé-kun: *Kay makes an embarrassed groan noise from the other side of the door.* Sheepy: Aru: I saw someone get unpossessed today. It was scary how he was forced to act until then... You'll protect me from possession, won't you, Caliburn? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... You brought your fucking sword in here? Are you gonna cuddle it too? Sheepy: Aru: H-hey! I can't risk it getting stolen somehow!! And anyway, if I don't tell it today's events, maybe it'll feel left out. Arsé-kun: Kay: *staring* Sheepy: Aru: Wh-what? Arsé-kun: *distant fou noise. duncan has found the cat* Arsé-kun: Kay: How am I supposed to come over there when you have a live taser? Sheepy: Aru: Okay, okay, I'll put it away. Where can I put it? Sheepy: Aru: Should I just put it with your gear? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I guess. Just hope I remember it's there in the morning. Sheepy: *Aru puts Caliburn with Kay's gear.* Sheepy: Aru: I'll have to if Wilbur is going to help. Arsé-kun: Kay: And hope you get an answer you understand. Sheepy: Aru: Yes! Sheepy: Aru:...Hey, what if... what if the sword doesn't speak English and it's been quiet because it doesn't understand me? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's an English sword, isn't it? What's it gonna speak? Italian? Sheepy: Aru: Good point. Arsé-kun: *Kay sits down on his carpet* Sheepy: Aru: Are you sure you won't be cold? Arsé-kun: Kay: If I do, you'll know. Sheepy: Aru: What do you mean? Arsé-kun: Kay: Scoot over and I'll show you for free. Sheepy: *Aru scoots over* Arsé-kun: Kay: Thanks! *kay scoots into bed. warmth.* Sheepy: Aru:?! Arsé-kun: Kay: I changed my mind. It's too chilly. Sheepy: Aru: Eh...! You tricked me! Arsé-kun: Kay: Not my fault you didn't expect this. Sheepy: Aru: I expected something cool like you revealing some hidden heating device! Sheepy: Aru:...But blankets are heating devices... Arsé-kun: Kay: I wish I had a secret heater. That would be amazing. Sheepy: Aru: Are they real? Arsé-kun: Kay: Heaters? Sheepy: Aru: No! Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, I sure hope heaters are real. Sheepy: Aru: Of course they are. I've seen then before. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then what? Ghosts? Or secret machines? Sheepy: Aru: Secret machines, but I guess ghosts too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Both are. I mean, one's just a machine but hidden, yeah? Sheepy: Aru: I want to see one one day. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's hidden. You can't. Sheepy: Aru: ?! Sheepy: Aru: If it's not hidden anymore, it's no longer a hidden device... Arsé-kun: Kay: Actually.. I think we can kill two birds with one stone here. Sheepy: Aru: Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: If what Bedi said is true, then there's a ghost somewhere with several computers. So in theory... But fuck going. Stupid Nyar the janitor likes scaring people around there. Sheepy: Aru: Nyar... he was the man tonight, wasn't he? Sheepy: Aru: He scares me... Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. I'm not even gonna try pronouncing the whole thing. I don't like him. Sheepy: Aru: I don't want to see him again...! Arsé-kun: Kay: Good fuckin' luck. Turned out he's one of Merlin's teachers and my guidance councilor. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Oh god, I have to do something about that. Sheepy: Aru:...! He has so many jobs! Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe more. But he's also the reason Grif's here rooming with me, so.... Sheepy: Aru: There's no way to get away from him... Is it safe going out alone anymore? Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe not this week? That I've seen, he just likes scaring people, not... Whatever that was? Sheepy: Aru:...Okay, I'll wait until next week. Arsé-kun: Kay: Just take your sword with you. Or buy a taser. Sheepy: Aru: I know how to use Caliburn more. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sword it is. Sheepy: Aru: Uhuh, but if people ask, I'll say it's a prop. Arsé-kun: Kay: Costume prop. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe I'm supposed to be a knight. But I don't really dress like one. Arsé-kun: Kay: Princess knight. Sheepy: Aru: Oh! Oh, I like that!! Arsé-kun: Kay: .. Wait, we can go further. If you wear enough red, you could be the Queen of Hearts? Sheepy: Aru: Eh? Sheepy: Aru: I-I wouldn't decapitate people!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Guess who got stuck as Alice. We ain't goin' for accuracy. Sheepy: Aru: You're...Alice? Arsé-kun: Kay: And I ain't wearing a dress. That would suck. Sheepy: Aru:....You're Alice... It's not really fitting. Arsé-kun: Kay: Alice was a normal kid, until they encountered some weird shit. Sounds like college. Sheepy: Aru: Yeah, but! But! I'd never decapitate anyone! Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, so you're the King of Hearts. Sheepy: Aru: King? Sheepy: Aru: What did he do? Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck nothing because the Queen was a force of reckoning. Sheepy: Aru: Hmm... I guess the world dodged that from me because I was born now rather than back when this sword was used to choose a king. Arsé-kun: Kay: Thank god. If you were king I'd cry. Sheepy: Aru: I'd cry too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Glad we agree. Arsé-kun: *sibling chatter continues. etc, etc, etc.* Arsé-kun: --Monday, October 25th-- Sheepy: *There's the nice smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen!* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... ...? ??? Sheepy: Aru: Good morning. Arsé-kun: Kay: Uhhh. *graceful* Mornin'..? Sheepy: Aru: You have class, don't you? When is it? Arsé-kun: Kay: Uhhhhh. 2? Sheepy: Aru: Well, okay. You have time then. Arsé-kun: Kay: .. Wait, no, shit. Is my other one back on...? *he reaches for his phone to check his email. Phone not there* Sheepy: Aru: Did you lose your phone? Arsé-kun: Kay: Whhhere the fuck Arsé-kun: Kay: And who the fuck...? Sheepy: Aru: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Who is cooking this early..? Sheepy: Aru: I don't know. I couldn't check without potentially waking you. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Probably Bedi. Lets go check it out, yeah? Sheepy: Aru: Right! Arsé-kun: *Kay and Aru relocate! Dududud* Sheepy: *Bedi is cooking with Gawain! Considering the food smells good, Gawain isn't ruining things too much. Whatever Bedi is frying, it smells potato-y.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... .... Eh? Y'all are at it this early? Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies. Did we wake you? Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure did, but whatever. You see my phone anywhere? I gotta make sure I don't have my early class. Sheepy: Bedi: I saw it on the table. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sick. *he goes and gets it* Sheepy: Bedi: Hopefully he found the table I was referring to. Sheepy: Aru: If it were round, it'd be more fitting, considering everyone's names. You should invest in a round table. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell no. Where would it go? Arsé-kun: Kay: And anyway, more importantly- *he looks from his phone to Gawain* You good? Sheepy: Gawain: I'm a little sore and somehow I hurt my hand. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, that checks out. Sheepy: Gawain: I had a weird nightmare, but... Arsé-kun: Kay: No you didn't. Sheepy: Gawain: Well, I woke up thinking maybe I should strive for self improvement! Arsé-kun: Kay: Huh. So there was a plus to all that mess, then. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Phew, don't have class. We got time. Sheepy: Bedi: I'm making breakfast. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wow, I might eat this morning! *he's joking I hope. college schedules am i right gang* Sheepy: Bedi: Make sure to eat three real meals every day, Kay. Sheepy: Bedi: You'll regret it otherwise. Arsé-kun: Kay: Mmmmmhm. While you two are doin' that, I should probably explain last night better than "Mr. Janitor's a cunt", yeah? Sheepy: Bedi: Please do. Sheepy: Bedi: I was worried all night about it. Arsé-kun: *Kay sits down and starts retelling what he remembers. He starts with Nyar's relation to Grif, covers most of the dialogue not covered by the previous explanation, and ends at the part where they ran like hell.* Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Arsé-kun: Kay: --- So too long didn't listen, Oops! Local monstrosity accidentally invoked the desire to do better. Good job, fucking idiot. Arsé-kun: Kay: At least, I guess???? Sheepy: Gawain: It's odd, but... Arsé-kun: Kay: It's like a worse version of when he scared you guys out of the house. As a "lesson". Arsé-kun: Kay: .... So are you finally gonna listen to literally everybody and stop playing concussion ball? Sheepy: Gawain: Well, the doctor recommended I probably should stop playing football with all of the injuries I get from it, and I've been hesitant, but... Sheepy: Gawain: You think I'm tall enough for basketball? Sheepy: Aru: No. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're tall, sure, but basketball players aren't usually THICK. Sheepy: Gawain: What else uses muscles? Arsé-kun: Kay: Why are you asking the math major? Sheepy: Gawain: I could ask the gym teacher but he might yell at me. Arsé-kun: Kay: I wouldn't risk it. Sheepy: Gawain: Ehhh... What about the doctor? Maybe he'd know. Arsé-kun: Kay: More likely. Probably dealt with this crap before. Fidget-spinner face included. Sheepy: Gawain: Fidget spinner? Arsé-kun: Kay: Wilbur called 'im that. I can't see why but I ain't gonna ask. Sheepy: Gawain: I felt like a filing cabinet but I didn't actually see him I think. Sheepy: Gawain: Like he was looking through all of my thoughts and feelings. Arsé-kun: *Kay shudders* Arsé-kun: Kay: That sounds AWFUL. Sheepy: Gawain: Ahaha, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Sheepy: Gawain: I didn't feel at all in control of my actions and everything was very hazy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Considering you'd never ever threaten someone with a knife? Yeah, I sure fuckin' hope you weren't. Sheepy: Gawain: That was pretty rude of me. Sorry about that! Arsé-kun: Kay: It's cool. He got beat up for it. Sheepy: Gawain: He seemed so upset about the whole deal. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're probably the one percent that isn't fuck-overable. Sheepy: Gawain: Huh. Sheepy: Aru: I wonder if he could use Caliburn for ill deeds if he possessed me. Sheepy: Aru: I don't really know what Caliburn can do. Arsé-kun: Kay: I hope not. He'd have a stupid taser sword and not much else of use. Sheepy: Aru: What if he possesses others and makes them touch Caliburn? Arsé-kun: Kay: Stupid fuck tasers himself! More at 11. Sheepy: Aru: Can he feel pain if he's in another person's body? Arsé-kun: Kay: *shrug emoji* Arsé-kun: Kay: ....... Okay, I gotta be an asshole. Gawain, you're not mashing everything in sight? What is this witchcraft?? Sheepy: Gawain: Well, I thought about doing it. Sheepy: Gawain: But mashed things aren't breakfast unless they're with things like bacon and vegetables. Sheepy: Gawain:...Of course, uh... Sheepy: Gawain: I haven't had bacon before, so I'm just repeating what I've heard. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Anyway, scoot over. I'm joining in, what are we doing? Sheepy: Bedi: I was considering pancakes and Gawain was here so it turned into potato pancakes. I'm not too familiar with cooking them, but they're simple enough. Arsé-kun: Kay: I never made those either, but they look like food. Sheepy: Bedi: Sour cream can be a dairy, and I made eggs on the side for a protein. Sheepy: Gawain: Agravain would opt for baking biscuits or cinnamon rolls instead and then claim they're store bought. He'd chase you out of the kitchen before you could see his cooking utensils. Arsé-kun: Kay: We've been knew. No shit Aggy doesn't buy store pastries. Sheepy: Aru: I miss Teacher's cooking... I wonder if he's having fun on his vacation in Bermuda. I hope so. Sheepy: Bedi: I've finished them. I need to wake Merlin for breakfast unless he's already awake. Sheepy: Bedi: I've finished them. I need to wake Merlin for breakfast unless he's already awake. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good fuckin' luck. Sheepy: *Bedi goes to wake Merlin.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin continues his best impression of a shag carpet.* Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin, please wake up. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...? Sheepy: Bedi: It's time for breakfast. Sheepy: Bedi: It'll get cold. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Awww... Already? Sheepy: Bedi: If you don't want it, someone else could eat it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm up, I'm up... *he slowly starts rolling over. the carpet is on the move* Sheepy: Bedi: I'm glad. Arsé-kun: *This may take a while* Sheepy: Bedi: In the meantime I'll head back to the kitchen. Sheepy: Bedi: By the way, Gawain is here, so if you don't hurry, he might eat your food too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Unlikely unless it's... *sniff, sniff* ... It's potato? Sheepy: Bedi: We made potato pancakes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then it is in danger..! *he moves a little faster. it is not much of an improvement* Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: I'll go and guard your portion. Arsé-kun: Merlin: please Sheepy: *Bedi returns to the kitchen* Arsé-kun: *Fou is Investigating the potato pancakes* Sheepy: Bedi: Fou, we have to leave some for Merlin. I wonder if it's safe for you to eat...? Arsé-kun: Fou: *sniff, sniff. back away. lean back in. sniff sniff. lick* Sheepy: Bedi:...Okay, that one's yours. I'll shift it onto a plate for you, but you can't have that very often, okay? *He cuts off a piece containing the area Fou licked and shifts it to a plate for Fou.* Arsé-kun: *Fou crouches down and licks it a few times before starting to munch. Fou approved* Sheepy: Elyan: *meow* Arsé-kun: *Fou looks up at Elyan before going back to pankakku* Arsé-kun: *Merlin does, in fact, eventually drag himself into the room for Food.* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Merlin, you're up! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Unlike popular opinion, I am in fact alive. ... Why does Fou have his own plate? Sheepy: Bedi: He was licking your pancake. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Sounds about right. Sheepy: Bedi: I wonder if he knew it was yours. Arsé-kun: *Fou does not care* Sheepy: *Elyan is sitting in Merlin's chair.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin stares at Elyan before sitting on the island. Fuck YOU goose* Sheepy: Elyan: *staaaaare* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I have to sit on the table. There is a bird in my chair. Sheepy: Bedi: I'd move the bird but it's a big bird. Arsé-kun: *background stock cartoon electrocution sound* Sheepy: Bedi:...What was that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: H-hewwo? Wat was dat??? -w-? Sheepy: *Grif comes in soon afterwards, looking tired* Arsé-kun: Kay: it lives! Sheepy: Elyan: *Very close but somewhat squeaky Merlin imitation* Hewwooo! Arsé-kun: *Merlin nearly spits his drink* Sheepy: Bedi: *this startles him as well* Arsé-kun: *Kay stares* Arsé-kun: Merlin: H HEWWO?? Sheepy: Elyan: *A slightly closer Merlin imitation* Hewwo!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hewwo?? Is anybowdy thewe?? owo Sheepy: Elyan: Hewwo! Hewwo!! Sheepy: Bedi: It... It's copying Merlin. Arsé-kun: Merlin: HEWWO MIWSTAH OBAWMA Sheepy: Elyan: Hewwoooo Miwstah Obawma!!! Arsé-kun: *Merlin snorts and breaks out laughing* Sheepy: Grif: Awful. Horrible. He's learning from Merlin. Sheepy: Bedi: I'm glad that there's an animal that likes Merlin. Arsé-kun: Kay: That never happens. I expect the bird to start flirting with Bedi by next week. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah. That'll be problematic... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *trying to stop laughing* B-B... BIWRD UP! Sheepy: Elyan: Biwrd? Biwrd! Biwrd! Sheepy: Grif: Awful. Truly awful. Arsé-kun: Merlin: This is actually terrible. Sheepy: Grif: First Wil wakes me up by shocking me. Now this. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: *leaning out with Duncan under his arm like football* You weren't up and I was charged from investigating a magical artifact I was tasked with examining. It worked, so do not complain. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... Sheepy: Elyan: Hewwoooo *A voice more similar to Grif's* Wil Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ... ... Sheepy: Elyan: ........ Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Can we hard reset Cthaat? Sheepy: Grif: We need to. Sheepy: Grif: How do we do it? Arsé-kun: Duncan: *unhelpfully* Hewwo Cthaat! Sheepy: Elyan: Hewwo! Hewwo! Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: Duncan: Hewwo! *honk* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: It's spreading. Sheepy: Grif: No...! Sheepy: Grif: What if Elyan becomes like Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I doubt he'll go too far if he doesn't wanna be a failure! Sheepy: Grif: I wonder if he has any concept of failures. Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin, you're not... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, I know. I'm jus- Arsé-kun: *Fou honks* Sheepy: Bedi: ?! Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: Kay: They're evolving. Sheepy: Grif: Not in a good way. Arsé-kun: Kay: Being able to communicate is bad? Sheepy: Grif: What if he becomes a flirt? Arsé-kun: Kay: Then he is threatened with the prospect of being christmas dinner. Sheepy: Elyan: ...threat! Sheepy: Bedi: By the way, who's...? Sheepy: Grif: My older brothers. Sheepy: *Grif picks up Elyan and sits down* Arsé-kun: Kay: Wait, so that's the infamous troublemaker you have to babysit? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: But he's OLDER than you?? Sheepy: Grif: Duncan, we can share breakfast. Arsé-kun: Duncan: What is it? Is it good? *he clambers up onto Grif and thinks for a moment* Yes, I'm older! I'm... *calculating. calculating* Sheepy: Grif: It looks like pancakes but smells like potatoes. There's also eggs. Arsé-kun: Duncan: I'm a hundred and seven! I'm very old! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I'm only around 20. Very young compared to him. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ordinarily I'd doubt this, but it's you saying it... Sheepy: Grif: He looks young for his age. Sheepy: Grif: Do you like it? Arsé-kun: Duncan: It's not beef! I like it! Sheepy: Grif: Great. Sheepy: Elyan: *squeaky voice* beef! Arsé-kun: Duncan: No! Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: Duncan: Don't honk at me, little duck! Arsé-kun: Duncan: Oh yeah! Wil was tryin' to touch the sword! Said he was told to look at it. But it kept making the big sparky-sparky shock-shocks! It was cool! *he pauses for pancake.* I wanna shock people that touch me too. Sheepy: Aru: Caliburn shocked him... Sheepy: Grif: But if you shocked anyone who touches you, wouldn't you shock Wil and me? Arsé-kun: Duncan: Mayyybe! Some times I dun wanna be touched! Sheepy: Grif: I see. I can relate. Sheepy: Grif: I, too, often hate to be touched. Doctors... are evil. Sheepy: Aru: I should ask him if he's come up with anything. Sheepy: Aru:......I'll check on him! Sheepy: *Aru goes to check on Wil* Arsé-kun: *Wilbur is still examining Caliburn carefully, bent over it on the floor. There is a tentacle from... Somewhere, poking at the hilt every so often. More importantly, due to HOW Wilbur is bent over, Aru can see not his rear thankfully but two grey bumps and a lil brown goat tail. This man has a tail.* Sheepy: Aru: *While somewhat surprised, she decides it'd be rude to comment on it.* Have you figured anything out? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Possibly. There certainly is something within this, but I do not believe it is the cause of the constant electrocutions. Sheepy: Aru: That's because you haven't been chosen by it, I think. Sheepy: Aru: What's in it? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I want to hypothesize that it is a spirit. It does not act at all, so it is a little hard to judge. Sheepy: Aru:...Maybe it's asleep? Sheepy: Aru: But ghosts don't need to sleep. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Perhaps. It may be dormant. Sheepy: Aru: Do you know how to wake up ghosts? Sheepy: Aru: Teacher banned me from ouija boards. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That was my primary suggestion. That, or repeatedly invoking the name of the spirit. heepy: Aru: I don't know its name. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Then we have a problem. Sheepy: Aru: But my guess would be a previous owner... Sheepy: Aru: But presumably there's been many owners of it since King Arthur passed. So I'd have to figure out every previous owner and repeatedly name them while looking for a response. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe Teacher wouldn't notice if I used a ouija board just a bit. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Perhaps. Perhaps not. And I do not recommend it unless you want to be possessed yourself. Sheepy: Aru: Ummm... I don't think I do. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe I could taunt it until it came out. ..But I want to be on good terms with it!! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Then I think it would be up to you. Sheepy: Aru: I have to look through so many names... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Start basic, I suppose. Sheepy: Aru: Basic... Sheepy: Aru: Teacher seems to be close to whoever is in it, and they probably wielded it in the past, so maybe I should start with the simplest guess, "King Arthur". ...Or maybe just "Arthur"? Maybe he would be shy being called a king. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ... Small reaction. Shock pattern was briefly disrupted. Sometimes being basic really is all one needs. Sheepy: Aru: It's... It's King Arthur? THE King Arthur?! What if I've already been embarrassing towards him by telling him about my day every day?! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: It is possible you were not heard at all. ... It is also possible everything was heard but not understood. Sheepy: Aru: Oh no... So maybe he thinks I've been ignoring him this whole time...! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: .... They are dormant. That is, unacting. Sheepy: Aru: But maybe that'd scare him... Sheepy: Aru: I have to take the risk! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Have fun, then. I would not like to be involved in that process. Sheepy: Aru: Right! Thank you so much! I'm finally close to an answer! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: But of course. I was very curious as well. *He starts to get up, and finally realizes that OOPS! His tail and tentacle were in plain sight the entire time. He makes a very sheepish face as he tucks both back away. oops. oops! oopsies!!* Sheepy: Aru: It's okay. I won't tell anyone. Sheepy: Aru: But I'll tell Grif if Arthur wakes up so he can tell you. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That is... Appreciated. *still embarrassed, though* Sheepy: Aru: Hopefully it'll work out. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Just be careful. Arsé-kun: *Wilbur exits the room without waiting for a reply* Sheepy: Bedi: -- We have Dio today, don't we? It's not that I dread his class, but... It's lacking in, what's the word... Arsé-kun: Kay: Structure? Sheepy: Bedi: That's it. Arsé-kun: Kay: At least he ain't boring. Sheepy: Bedi: Right. Arsé-kun: Kay: What I wanna know is how he got a whole ass robot! Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe he made it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Pfff. Nah. Sheepy: Bedi: I worry that he'll think he assigned homework he didn't and then grade us all down for not doing it. Sheepy: Bedi:...Although that seems like more work than he'd be willing to put in. Arsé-kun: Kay: It is. You think he works? You think this man, who comes to a student for money calculations, has ever done a day of work in his life? Sheepy: Bedi: No, I really don't think he has. ...Why is he working as a professor? Sheepy: Bedi: He makes his own wine, doesn't he? Why doesn't he take a full time job in that? Arsé-kun: Kay: Cause he's stupid. Sheepy: Bedi: That seems like a reasonable answer. Maybe he wants the extra money. Sheepy: Bedi: It's a mystery. Arsé-kun: Kay: Or we could just ask. Sheepy: Bedi: Good idea. Arsé-kun: Kay: But like. After class. Sheepy: Bedi: Right. Sheepy: Grif: What does he teach? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's supposed to teach theater, and about plays. He.. doesn't. Sheepy: Grif: Awful. I'll whip him into shape. Arsé-kun: Kay: Please don't. Sheepy: Grif: But he's not doing his job. Horrible. Awful! Sheepy: Grif: You're paying for the education, right? So you should get it. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're security, not the dean. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... I can't forget that that's my job. Sheepy: Grif: But doesn't it make you angry? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's annoying, but his robot teaches fine. Sheepy: Grif: Why don't they just hire the robot then? Arsé-kun: Kay: Because laws are stupid sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: I have heard Lucan is studying it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh? He's a culinary student. Bedi, control your brother. Sheepy: Bedi: It doesn't surprise me... Sheepy: Bedi: There's something ironic about someone as, um... resilient to helping others as him having an interest in buttling. Sheepy: Bedi: But I'll talk to him about doing too much. Arsé-kun: *merlin smirks in the bg. haha. buttling* Sheepy: Grif: Paimon, define buttling. Arsé-kun: Yog: Verb. to work as a butler. Sheepy: Grif: I understand. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe he wants to be the Alfred to someone's Batman. Sheepy: Bedi: He'd fit the role well. Sheepy: Grif: What's a batman? Arsé-kun: *Yog sighs and deals with explaining That* Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif:...He dresses as a bat because he wants revenge? Arsé-kun: Yog: It is meant to be symbolic, but it is quite silly. Sheepy: Grif: If I wanted revenge, I simply wouldn't dress. Arsé-kun: *Kay has to stop what he's doing to turn and stare at Grif* Sheepy: Grif: Nothing would be more terrifying than a naked angry man running at you with a sword. Clearly, he has no fear of taking damage. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cover him in you-know-what and I'll agree. It doesn't need to be his. Sheepy: Grif: I see. A bloodbath. Sheepy: Grif: It's what vampires take in order to clean themselves. Sheepy: Grif:.... Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ha. Sheepy: Bedi: I can't tell when you're being serious or when you're joking... Arsé-kun: Duncan: If he laughs, it's a joke! Sheepy: Bedi: If he doesn't, I just get to worry. Sheepy: Grif: Why would a superhero hide their identity? Sheepy: Grif: Batman hides himself behind a bat suit. Sheepy: Grif: It seems cowardly. Arsé-kun: Yog: So he is not bothered during his day life. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: But crime comes out at all times of day. Arsé-kun: Kay: .. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna ding-dong ditch Gawain at his dorm, and then I'm going to class. I don't care what the rest of you do until then. Tristan's in my class anyway, so he'll have to come out. Sheepy: Grif: Okay. Have fun. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll consider it. Sheepy: Bedi: I have a bad feeling about today. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't. Sheepy: Gawain: Yeah, I bet everyone's worried about me anyway, so I should head home! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Group trip! Sheepy: *Gawain gets ready ro head home!* Arsé-kun: *Kay gets ready to drag him back home, and also for class. Merlin takes his sweet-ass time.* Sheepy: *Bedi gets ready quickly.* Sheepy: *The group eventually heads to class!* Arsé-kun: *After dumping Gawain onto the Lot/Lance pair, ofc. And grabbing Tristan bc why not* Sheepy: *Unfortunately, Bedi's bad feeling could be considered accurate to some. Upon entering the classroom, they're presented with the projector already being on. Now on the big screen: Sherlock Gnomes! Dio is watching it while lying on four of the desks, eating grapes. He seems absorbed in it and completely unaware anyone has entered.* Arsé-kun: *Orpheus is in his usual spot, propped up next to a filing cabinet by the whiteboard. He does not appear to approve highly of the situation* Sheepy: Dio: if Romeo and Juliet was anything like this, William Shakespeare would've been thrown into the dungeons for sure. Arsé-kun: Orpheus: If Romeo and Juliet was anything like this, we'd be in a dark timeline. Sheepy: Dio: The true victim here is the poor detective who had the misfortune of this being based on him. Arsé-kun: Orph: That had several implications. Sheepy: Dio: Well, Sherlock Gnomes is based on Sherlock Holmes, isn't it? Dr. Watson's stories. Sheepy: Dio: But maybe from the royalties, he and Dr. Watson are rolling in cash. Hey, hey. They should make a movie about us so we can profit off of it! Arsé-kun: Orph: You continue to suggest things with deep implications, and in front of students, no less. Sheepy: Dio: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: What the fuck is this Sheepy: Dio: The sequel to the play I hope you all read your assigned parts of. Sheepy: Dio: Gnomeo and Juliet 2: Sherlock Gnomes. Sheepy: Dio: Hey, we should just watch this for class. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd rather vomit. Pass. Sheepy: Dio: Most kids would jump at the opportunity to watch this. Sheepy: Dio: Hey, you know William Shakespeare? Sheepy: Dio: Alright guy. Good with language. Had a record of stealing stories from previous sources. But you know why he was never knighted? Arsé-kun: Orph: Because he knew you. Sheepy: Dio: The queen hated his plays. Arsé-kun: Orph: ... Are you kids the only ones here so far? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Orph: I am considering doing something forbidden. Sheepy: Bedi: Forbidden? Arsé-kun: Orph: .... Do you know what though? I think I'm going to do, the thing I want to. ... Ehh. I could have done better. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: *Orpheus double checks, and then gets up and strides over to Dio with the intent to end the current situation. this bot can Move.* Sheepy: Bedi:?! Arsé-kun: Orph: Turn that movie off before I put you in a coffin for the rest of the evening. Arsé-kun: *background Merlin does an OWO* Sheepy: Dio: Why? Arsé-kun: Orph: Students will be coming in, and I'd like to actually teach. Sheepy: Dio: Ugh, fine. *he turns it off* It was getting to the least bad part, too. *he gets off the desks and sits in his usual seat* I'll just write instead. Sheepy: Bedi: But... but what about teaching? Arsé-kun: Orph: Thank you kindly. *he goes back to his spot as well, and settles back in* I have it under control for today's session. Sheepy: Dio: I'd rather work on this play. I've been having writer's block but I feel motivation rising within me thanks to this movie. Arsé-kun: Orph: By doing nothing that you saw? Or doing better? Sheepy: Dio: Yes. Arsé-kun: Orph: Good luck. I will proofread it later tonight for you. Sheepy: Dio: Two heads are better than one here! Arsé-kun: Orph: They usually are in general. Sheepy: Dio: Not for guillotines. They can generally only fit one head at a time. Arsé-kun: Orph: ... ... I dislike this joke. I firmly hate this joke. Cut your own head off. Sheepy: Dio: Eh?! But it's got a pretty face attached to it, doesn't it?! Arsé-kun: Orph: That didn't stop.... ... *he trails off* ... But let us not go there. Sheepy: *Tristan, for once, has his eyes open. He seems focused on Orpheus.* Arsé-kun: Orph: Tell me I look nice and I'll forgive you for that joke. Sheepy: Dio: Okay, you look nice! Arsé-kun: Orph: Thank you. Sheepy: Tristan: To think, even one such as yourself is covered in such ugliness... How could I see your beauty when it is so marred? How sad, how sad! This world, so full of despair! *he strums his harp. Tristan, put that away!* But you... *he shifts his gaze to Dio* You are worse. You are so perfect, your ugliness barely noticable. And then, just as one finds a small thread upon their new shirt...! Oh, how sad! How sad! Right upon your heart! Truly, you're the most deceitful of them all! Sheepy: Dio:....Uhuh. Hey, that gives me an idea for a line in this play! Thanks! Arsé-kun: *Orpheus looks offended. Bitch, WHERE?* Arsé-kun: Kay: what the fuck are you talking about Sheepy: Tristan: You question this? The source of your ugliness... is here. *he puts his hand on his throat* Arsé-kun: *Orpheus only looks MORE offended now. Good work, Tristan.* Sheepy: *Tristan, unfortunately, doesn't seem too bothered by it.* Arsé-kun: Orph: Pardon me. I'm going to briefly break character as a teacher. *brief pause* Excuse me, what the actual fuck does that mean? Sheepy: Tristan: It's... *he closes his eyes, mulling over an explanation* Red. Sheepy: Dio: Hey, I've got an awful feeling about this. Arsé-kun: Orph: Stay after class, please. I'd like to understand exactly what you're referring to, but not put it out into public. Sheepy: Tristan: I see. I will. Sheepy: *Tristan returns to his seat.* Sheepy: *Bedi shoots Tristan an awkward glance.* Arsé-kun: *so does kay* Sheepy: Tristan: My apologies. It took me by surprise. Arsé-kun: *Kay just sighs* Arsé-kun: *Merlin has ignored the situation in favor of bum rushing the homework* Sheepy: Bedi: Tristan, you can't just say things like that. Sheepy: Tristan: Hm... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Like what? Huh? Did he call someone a bitch? Sheepy: Bedi: He called Mr. Dio and Orpheus ugly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, like us? Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, how sad. Everything is ugly. What is beauty when it can't... Whatever he does. Sheepy: Bedi: I see... I understand now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, he even said it about you, that's why I know it's full of shit. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm? I suppose so. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That was a flirt. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh. I didn't notice. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's bs because see, I specified you in this, my man, hot boy hot man, *etc* Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. I appreciate it. Sheepy: Dio:....Ouch. Arsé-kun: Orph: Stop thinking so hard. You might give yourself an aneurism. Sheepy: Dio: Who, me? Arsé-kun: Orph: Would I insult students openly? No. No I would not. Sheepy: Dio: Hey, I was saying ouch because of the flirting being ignored, not from me thinking. Arsé-kun: Orph: Oh, so you used your Empathy™ for once. Sheepy: Dio: You mean I don't normally? Sheepy: Dio: Think of the empathy I show with how easily I grade the students. Arsé-kun: Orph: .... Yes, and it hurts me. Arsé-kun: *other students start to trickle in fifteen minutes before class starts. yaaaay.* Arsé-kun: Garry: ---Forced me to witness the miracle of life for snails, but you know, it wasn't gym class. Sheepy: Toa: Is gym class worse? Arsé-kun: Garry: Considering that I'd rather share your condition than go? Sheepy: Toa: It's bad. Arsé-kun: Garry: I'm going to melt into a puddle and perish one of these days from gym class. Sheepy: Toa: Maybe I'm lucky after all... Arsé-kun: Orph: ... Okay, we're close enough to 2 pm. Bring up the homework. Sheepy: *Bedi brings up his HW! Tristan doesn't.* Arsé-kun: *Kay grabs it for him and then brings up his own. yaaay.* Sheepy: *Good idea, Kay! Tristan's head is beginning to droop a bit.* Sheepy: *Dio, for once, doesn't seem interested in goofing off during the class, and instead seems anxious. Could it be due to writer's block or something else?* Sheepy: Bedi: We aren't covering that gnomes thing today, are we...? Arsé-kun: Orph: No. Absolutely not. That was Dio entertaining himself with bad media. Arsé-kun: Orph: We will be continuing from where we left off, so starting the final act of the play. Arsé-kun: *MEANWHILE, in a dorm we have not been to yet!* Sheepy: Gawain: I’m fine, I’m fine! I’m just thinking. Arsé-kun: Lot: If you’re thinking, you’re clearly not fine.. Sheepy: Gawain: It’s a long story. Sheepy: Gawain: But at the end of the day, the conclusion I came up with was that I’m probably going to drop out of football and look for something else. Arsé-kun: Lot: Color me impressed. But then what are you going to do? Sheepy: Gawain: Cook? Arsé-kun: Lot: Man can't live off potatoes alone. Sheepy: Gawain: I’m sure they can! Arsé-kun: Lot: Regardless, would you like to share how you came to this conclusion finally? Sheepy: Gawain: Well, I got possessed and forced to shove people into lockers. Arsé-kun: Lot: you what Sheepy: Gawain: By the janitor. Arsé-kun: Lot: That makes a little more sense maybe, but still?? Sheepy: Gawain: It felt my houghts were being rifled through like a filing cabinet. Sheepy: Gawain: Everything I know, everything I feel... That janitor knows it now. Arsé-kun: *Lot looks mortified and rightfully so* Sheepy: Gawain: I realized that so far, my body's just been used to hurt and entertain others. When I'm not being injured in a game, I'm potentially hurting someone else. Not one person in those stands could care about that. I'd rather use my body to help others. Arsé-kun: Lot: ... One of these days, you'll realize your brain is also important. *he sighs* But you still get why we have kept insisting on it as well, yeah? Sheepy: Gawain: With my brain, I can do more things? Arsé-kun: Lot: ..... You were just using it, too. Sheepy: Gawain: That wasn't the answer?! Arsé-kun: Lot: You can't use your body at all without a brain running it. Sheepy: Gawain: How can I build it? Sheepy: Gawain: It's a muscle too, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Lot: I mean, yeah? Just use it more? Do I look like a psychologist to you? Sheepy: Gawain: But I'm constantly using it. Sheepy: Gawain:...Hey, I bet the gym teacher would know. Sheepy: Gawain: But I'm constantly using it. Sheepy: Gawain:...Hey, I bet the gym teacher would know. Arsé-kun: Lot: I'm not helping you with that. Sheepy: Gawain: Why not? Won't you support me? Arsé-kun: Lot: I'm not going near that. I don't want to run three miles because I was nearby. Sheepy: Gawain: Riiiight... Well, I'll go myself, then. Arsé-kun: Lot: Good luck. You'll need it. Sheepy: Gawain: Thanks, I'll do my best to survive. Arsé-kun: *Lance has been sitting quietly in the back, listening to all this. At some point he picked up a cleaning rag and a dirty old pipe, and has started cleaning it off. The menacing aura is included.* Sheepy: *Gawain gives Lance a confused look* Arsé-kun: Lance: ... The janitor, you said? Sheepy: Gawain: Yes, why? Arsé-kun: Lance: I just wanted to make sure. Sheepy: Gawain: Right. Be careful around him. He's scary. Arsé-kun: Lot: ... I thought you didn't enjoy being a delinquent? Arsé-kun: Lance: I didn't. I'm not going to now, either. Sheepy: Gawain:....? Arsé-kun: Lance: ...... Don't worry 'bout it. Sheepy: Gawain: Well, sounds good to me! Sheepy: *Gawain goes to talkto the gym teacher!* Sheepy: Gawain: Are you busy? Arsé-kun: Demonee-Ho: *slowly glances back, taking a cig out of his mouth. he looks unhappy* That will depend on the next words out of your mouth, whelp. Sheepy: Gawain: Well, I'm going to drop out of football and, well, I know this is something one would usually ask an advisor, but I'm not really sure where to go from here. Sheepy: *Gawain has a sheepish grin on his face...* Arsé-kun: D-Ho: ... *he looks judgy* Are you serious, ho? Sheepy: Gawain: I am. Sheepy: Gawain: I realized that I wasn't just injuring myself, but I was also causing damage to others. I'd rather put my body to a use where I can help others. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: .... ... *he looks angry for a moment, and..* ... About damn time. I can finally put in that fucking paperwork. I've been sitting on it for goddamn months, you know. Sheepy: Gawain:...What? Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Consider yourself honorably discharged! That's the most honor you're going to get though, you goddamn golden retriever-looking mop. Sheepy: Gawain: Eh?! Arsé-kun: D-Ho: And do I LOOK like a guidance councilor to you?? Sheepy: Gawain: Well, no, but I just thought you'd have an idea or two. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: I most certainly fucking don't. As far as I'm aware, your entire personality is a near-exact copy of a potato, and so is your brain. Maybe do something about that. Sheepy: Gawain: I've wanted to. Sheepy: Gawain: It's difficult for me to retain things, so it's hard to do well in class. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Tell the shit guidance to let you take time off. Your dumb potato brain needs it, stupid. Sheepy: Gawain: Right, good idea! Thanks! Arsé-kun: D-Ho: If you tell anyone I was nice, you'll be running double laps. Sheepy: Gawain: I won't tell a soul!! Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Great! Now get the fuck outta here! Scram! Don't get beat up on the way out! Sheepy: Satoru, holding a bug: Is that your hobby? I saw you get beat up yesterday by Guin. Sheepy: Gawain: Is that the sort of reputation I have?! Arsé-kun: D-Ho: No, I can't say what your reputation is now. Sheepy: Gawain:?! Arsé-kun: D-Ho: *he bends down to Satoru's level* And what are you doing here alone, Private? Sheepy: Satoru: *he holds up the ladybug* This is a ladybug. It's like a beetle. Do you know why they sometimes smell bad? Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Because they don't shower. Sheepy: Satoru: When they feel fear, they release traces of blood into the air. The smell is their blood. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Oh, so they'd attract every shark in a five mile radius because they blood sharted. Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. If sharks could go on land. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Ghost sharks. Sheepy: Satoru: A ghost shark could outrun anyone. Sheepy: Satoru: Even me. Sheepy: Satoru: Even you. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Now, I don't know about that, ho. Sheepy: Satoru: How fast can you run? Arsé-kun: D-Ho: At least ten. Sheepy: Satoru: A shark can swim so fast, but if a ghost shark bit me, it would die on the spot. Ghosts are allergic to salt and the body contains salt. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Blood is salty. Sheepy: Satoru: I've heard you're salty, too. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Damn right. Sheepy: Satoru: You're extra resistant to ghosts. Sheepy: *Gawain is shocked by the interaction he's watching unfold in front of him...* Arsé-kun: D-Ho: ..... And what the fuck are you still here for, you concussion fetishist?! Sheepy: Gawain: Well, it's just...! Sheepy: Gawain: I expected you to yell at him like you yell at everyone else. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: I'm not going to curse out a child, retard. Sheepy: Satoru: Mom would enact revenge if he was mean to me. Sheepy: Gawain: Eh...?! A jock Gordon Ramsey... Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Get out of here before I chase you around the entire campus! Sheepy: Gawain: R-right!! *he runs off* Sheepy: *Gawain returns home, having run all the way back.* Arsé-kun: Lot: You're back already? That was rather fast. He didn't make you do several laps? Sheepy: Gawain: I ran before he could. Sheepy: Gawain: I watched him talk to a child. It was scary... Sheepy: Gawain: He was actually nice. Arsé-kun: Lot: That's terrifying. Sheepy: Gawain: It was! Arsé-kun: Lot: Now I'm burdened with the knowledge that he is capable of being a decent person, and I absolutely cannot use it. Sheepy: Gawain: He simply chooses to be evil. Arsé-kun: Lot: But are you out of sports? Sheepy: Gawain: I am. Sheepy: Gawain: At least for now. Arsé-kun: Lot: Thank goodness. No more concussions for you, playboy. Sheepy: Gawain: I'm sure I could pick them up other places! Arsé-kun: Lot: You can't just pick up a concussion at a dollar store! Sheepy: Gawain: If you tried hard enough you could. Sheepy: Gawain: Not that I'd want to! Arsé-kun: Lot: Honestly, I don't trust you in any easy-contact enviroment anymore. Sheepy: Gawain: Even here? Arsé-kun: Lot: Absolutely. Sheepy: Gawain: You'd give me a concussion?! Arsé-kun: Lot: No! Arsé-kun: Lance: No, but *he comes in the door* I'll take requests while I'm at it. Sheepy: Gawain: Isn't that illegal? Arsé-kun: Lance: Only if you get caught. Do you think bleach will get this out of my sweater? *he pulls down his sweater to show up big black blotches on it. what a mess* Sheepy: Gawain: Uh... What is that? Arsé-kun: Lance: I have no idea. Sheepy: Gawain: Where did it come from? Arsé-kun: Lance: The janitor. Sheepy: Gawain:...? Maybe it's oil? Arsé-kun: Lance: He's made of oil? Sheepy: Gawain: ?! Y-you...?! But that's...! Arsé-kun: Lance: He deserved it. Sheepy: Gawain: Isn't justice better dealt by someone who's supposed to deal it? Sheepy: Gawain: And anyway, whatever that is could be poisonous! Arsé-kun: Lance: *he shrugs* If it is, then I deserved it. Sheepy: Gawain: No! You should go and get help, just in case! Arsé-kun: Lance: And admit I beat up the janitor for possessing my friend? Uh... N-no. Sheepy: Gawain:...Good point. Arsé-kun: Lance: I'm gonna go steal the shower. If it's not gone after, then I'll consider it. Sheepy: Gawain: Uh, good luck. Arsé-kun: Lot: Don't die. Sheepy: Gawain: Why would I?! Arsé-kun: Lot: Not you! Arsé-kun: *Lance just rolls his eyes, drops his pipe in the sink and leaves. bye lance* Sheepy: Gawain: Not yet, anyway! Arsé-kun: Lot: What is THAT supposed to mean?! Sheepy: Gawain: Well, everyone does eventually. Sheepy: Tristan: *somewhere along the way he entered very quietly. How long has he been there, watching? Scary.* Your face is obscured with death. How ugly it is. Sheepy: Gawain: Ouch! Arsé-kun: Lot: Welcome back. You survived class again. Sheepy: Tristan: How cruel, how cruel! I must tell you of my discovery! Ohhh...! Nothing in this world is perfect! It is all tainted with death! How sad, how sad! *sob, harp strum* Sheepy: Gawain: Did Romeo and Juliet die? I thought that was common knowledge. Arsé-kun: Lot: What happened, Tris? Sheepy: Tristan: The robot...! Covered in death! Right at his throat! Sheepy: Tristan: But robots are not alive! So why?! Arsé-kun: Lot: Maybe they are. Sheepy: Tristan: Why open my eyes expecting to take in the sight of life? I gaze upon the threads of fate and feel my fingers twitch... What tune do they play? Ah...! *strums harp* Truly, the world is but an instrument, awaiting its song to be played, for the cheers, for the desire of a chorus... only to fade into nothingness. Forgotten, as though those notes never were played to begin with. *he strums his harp* Sheepy: Gawain: Man. I really felt that. *Gawain did not feel nor understand that.* Arsé-kun: Lot: Wow. Profound. *Lot is taking notes* Sheepy: Tristan: If I plucked them... what would it feel like? Arsé-kun: Lot: Probably bad. Sheepy: Tristan: ... *he slowly opens his eyes, looking to Lot and then Gawain* Sheepy: Tristan: If I just plucked them a little... Could I see your face? Arsé-kun: *Lot crosses his arms to cover his chest* Sheepy: Gawain:...? Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, am I missing something? Arsé-kun: Lot: Yes. You're about to experience a discomfort. Sheepy: *Tristan reaches for one if Gawain's death lines and plucks it.* Sheepy: *It produces a haunting sound.* Arsé-kun: Lot: Eugh! Don't like that! Sheepy: Gawain: Khhh...! Wh-what was that...feeling?! Sheepy: Tristan: So that's how yours sounds. Sheepy: Tristan: How horrible. *he closes his eyes and strums his harp* What horrible threads you have. Arsé-kun: Lot: The only ones that sound good are from your harp! Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...! You like my music? Oh, how wonderful! This brings me joy! *he puts his harp to the side and gently grasps Lot's hands. He seems excited!* Wonderful! Arsé-kun: *Lot slightly turns red. o///o* Sheepy: Gawain:...? Sheepy: Gawain: How much did I miss when I was possessed? Arsé-kun: Lot: Uh? We only watched a movie when you were out.. Sheepy: Gawain: No, no, that's not what I meant! Clearly, you found a date during operation chick hunt! Tristan. Sheepy: Tristan: Hah. Of course. When you're looking for beauty, I am right here. Arsé-kun: Lot: Does that really count, though..? Arsé-kun: Lot: ... It doesn't count because the rules require it to be started on that day. Sheepy: Gawain: Eh?! Sheepy: Gawain: So... how long? Sheepy: Tristan: Down half of my back. I grew it myself. Arsé-kun: Lot: ... Tris, you can stop dodging it now. I think he figured it out. Sheepy: Tristan: How unfortunate. I was hoping to toy with him more. Arsé-kun: Lot: It's been about a month. Sheepy: Gawain: Eh? So not too long. Sheepy: Gawain: Although, longer than all of my relationships. Sheepy: Tristan: It is the torment of mutual pining, building up to a beautiful relationship. Sheepy: Gawain:...I can't tell if you're rambling or serious. Arsé-kun: Lot: I have no idea what he means either. Sheepy: Tristan: It's a term that means both parties pined for each other before finally hooking up. Sheepy: Tristan: It's an important factor of slow burn. Arsé-kun: *Confused math lady face by Lot* Sheepy: Tristan: You haven't read such fiction before? Sheepy: Tristan: How to explain... Sheepy: Tristan: It is when you are in love with someone for a long time and they are in love with you, but both fear rejection so they refuse to ask the other out for the longest of times. Arsé-kun: Lot: Oh, so the opposite of Gawain. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey! I just assume people will be accepting even if they reject me! Sheepy: Tristan: Could it be... Sheepy: Tristan: It wasn't...? Sheepy: Tristan: How sad! I assumed we both had been pining for the other... Sheepy: Tristan:...But now I've just embarrassed myself. Arsé-kun: *Lot looks elsewhere* Sheepy: Gawain: I wonder how I never noticed.. Arsé-kun: Lot: We made efforts not to show it around you. I thought it would be too weird, since I did go out with you that one time. Sheepy: Gawain: Nah, it's not weird. Your relationships aren't really my business. Why would I think it's weird? Arsé-kun: Lot: uh Sheepy: Gawain: I noticed that Tristan's wingmanning seemed a bit off, but I just thought he wasn't warmed up yet. Arsé-kun: Lot: I was genuinely nervous though. Sheepy: Gawain: Eh? Sheepy: Gawain: Just because we went out once doesn't mean we can't date other people. ...Although it really feels like my dates never go the way I want them. Arsé-kun: Lot: Well, she was tall and attractive. You were on the money, technically.... Sheepy: Gawain: She's basically already asked Lance out, hasn't she? By telling him to fight her later when he's recovered. Sheepy: Gawain: Anyway, I'd rather a girl who doesn't beat me up. Arsé-kun: Lot: Understandable, and also I feel like it was a date offer. I just hope his dabbling back into delinquency isn't his attempt to look cool for her. Sheepy: Gawain: So she's a bad influence... Arsé-kun: Lot: That is not what I said. Sheepy: Gawain: But it he's influencing her to pick up delinquency again... Arsé-kun: Lance: ... What? Sheepy: Gawain: Oh, you're back. Arsé-kun: Lance: I have no idea what you're talking about... I just wanted to commit harm on a squid. Sheepy: Gawain: So it wasn't the girl from yesterday? Arsé-kun: Lance: No?? Sheepy: Gawain: It's not to impress her even though she was asking you out? Arsé-kun: Lance: No???? Sheepy: Gawain: Are you going to take her up on it? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yeah, probably. I need to get the practice in when I can. Sheepy: Gawain: Uhuh. Okay. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... What? Sheepy: Gawain: I just thought she'd be your type. Arsé-kun: Lance: Type of...? *and then it clicks. he hides his face in his sleeves* No!! Sheepy: Gawain: What? She isn't? Arsé-kun: Lance: She's very pretty but I wasn't even thinking about that! Sheepy: Gawain: Now you are! Arsé-kun: Lot: *from the background* NOW you're thinking with portals! Sheepy: Gawain: And she asked you out! You've really got a chance with her! Arsé-kun: Lance: I thought you guys were kidding when you said I had a score..! Sheepy: Gawain: No! She asked you out! Arsé-kun: Lance: Could you... Uh, pardon me for a bit. *he exits stage left* Sheepy: Gawain:...? Arsé-kun: *Lance can then be heard screaming into a pillow. me too man me too* Sheepy: Gawain:?! He didn't notice?! Arsé-kun: Lot: He thought we were kidding, apparently. Arsé-kun: Lot: ... So let me put this *gestures to Tristan, who is still basically on him* down and then lets figure out how to deal with this situation. Sheepy: Gawain: Right. Sheepy: *Tristan is fast asleep. How does he do it?* Arsé-kun: *raw unbridled talent* Arsé-kun: *We now skip to later that night, in a different location.* Sheepy: *Grif is proud of himself!* Arsé-kun: Kay: What'd you shred today? Sheepy: Grif: Nothing. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then what'd you do, moron? Sheepy: Grif: I accomplished something big. Behold. *he takes out a paper with text he wrote. It's sloppy and hard to read.* Arsé-kun: Kay: *he squints* ... You wrote my name? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I spelled it right, didn't I? Arsé-kun: Kay: You did. You did something decent. Hell yeah. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I am proud of this. Sheepy: Grif: I knew how to spell it because you told me how when we first met. Sheepy: Grif: Everyone else... I struggled and wrote it as it sounds to me. Arsé-kun: Kay: You bothered to remember that..? Sheepy: Grif: Of course. Why would you tell me it upon a first meeting if it weren't important? Arsé-kun: Kay: You got me there. Arsé-kun: *Bond up. No fanfare, though. No pop-up. Yog's taking the night off, I guess* Sheepy: Grif: Hm. Arsé-kun: *There is a Quest Marker next to Merlin, who has been sitting that that window for a while now.* Sheepy: Grif: What is your quest? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I was waiting for you to come over here. *Something seems off about his tone..* As much as I would like to dodge your question, I cannot. Sheepy: Grif: Ah. It's you. Arsé-kun: Kay: what the FUCK do you mean "it's you"?! Is this not Merlin the dick wizard?? Sheepy: Bedi: *he pokes his head in* Did something happen to Merlin?! Sheepy: Grif: Of course it's not. Everyone knows Merlin couldn't sound like a serious wizard if he tried. It must be Primo. Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: ... This is awkward! But yes, come in, you need to hear this as well. I'm going to be blunt for the next three minutes and those minutes only. Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: I didn't want to do this. This is downright cruel, but it was either I hijack the hijacking, or the slug wins. The Fourteenth was too vulnerable to it. But right, yes, the problem at hand. Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: Griflet. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: Gla'aki is making a move. You understand, yes? Sheepy: Grif: I will deal with him. Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: Not so fast. You're security, not a merc. My job for you is to make sure the slug fails. Sheepy: Aru: *she looks in sleepily, clearly having been woken by the previous exclamations* I heard Teacher. Did he call because I figured out Mr. Ghost's name? Sheepy: Grif: I'll do that. Do I just leave Glaaki alone other than that? Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: One- Good work, Aru. Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: Two- After you prevent Gla'aki from taking victims, do as you like! I can't stop you! This connection is on the fritz as it is and the Fourteenth is not happy with my intrusion! Sheepy: Grif: He can suffer. Do I go arouns the campus checking for victims, or do I use them to track him down before rescuing them? Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: They'll all be going one direction- to Gla'aki. I daresay they'd all prefer not going too far. Sheepy: Grif: I see. So stop them. Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: Yes. But okay, time's up! *he fingerguns to Bedi* Sorry I stole your wizard, the slug was gonna take him if I didn't pop in! Sheepy: Bedi: Eh? Sheepy: Bedi: He doesn't get enough salt in his diet, does he... Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: He doesn't! Okay, hasta la b-- Arsé-kun: Merlin: --FUCK THAT- oh shit. Oh. Okay, that happened. Sheepy: Aru: Wow! You really are a descendent of Merlin! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Me feeling like I got tumble dry low'd aside, what the hell? Grif, what's a Glaaki and should we team effort this? Sheepy: Grif: A slug. He likes having minions. He controls dead bodies until they're no longer usable. Like puppets. Sheepy: Grif: It seems he wants more so he's kidnapping students by mind controlling them. Arsé-kun: Kay: So we're getting a goddamn move on now? *he already got his gear* Like, right now? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I am ready. We have to rush. Sheepy: *Bedi appears conflicted.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: The faster we are, the less likely anyone can go off! Sheepy: Grif: Right. Sheepy: Aru: I could help! Arsé-kun: Kay: HELL NO Sheepy: Aru: Eh? But I have an actual weapon. I know how to use it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Tch. Grif, your call. Sheepy: Grif: I don't care that much. I'd rather just go now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure, fine, whatever, no one leave campus though until we're done! Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay! Lets actually go! Arsé-kun: *Outside, there are a lot of people. Most are wandering towards the southern exit, some more cognizant than others. A few people are trying to stop them, but it isn't going too well.* Sheepy: Grif: *he rushes towards the group and attempts stopping them* Sheepy: Grif: Did any go ahead of them? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't think so! I'll go make a barrier for you! Sheepy: Grif: Thank you! Arsé-kun: *Merlin teleports to the southern exit. No one has reached it yet!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 2 Arsé-kun: *Merlin proceeds to slam his staff on the ground. His flowers sprout everywhere, and a crystal barrier erupts from the ground to cover the exit!* Sheepy: Grif: Good job! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thanks... I think I need to take a nap now... *he drops down onto the ground, right onto his ass.* Sheepy: *Grif continues on his quest to Stop People* Arsé-kun: *Kay is doing the same thing, but isn't making much progress* Arsé-kun: Kay: How do we actually stop 'em?! Sheepy: Grif: I can stop the source. ... Uh, but... No, I can't stop the source. I can't do it. Sheepy: Grif: We can knock all of them out. Sheepy: Grif: And then... Sheepy: Grif:...I can't. Arsé-kun: Kay: What do you mean you can't?!? *as he football tackles another ginger. he learned that one from Gawain* Sheepy: Grif: I can't stop the source because he lives in some body of water. Sheepy: Grif: I can't swim. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good lord. We're so fucked! Sheepy: Grif: We can deal with the people and then... Dad hasn't been in contact with me for a while now. Who can we contact? ... No, I'll pick up swimming as I go. Arsé-kun: *One poor soul walks right into Merlin's barrier. He's given a small shock by it!* Sheepy: *He decides that it isn't worth trying to get through and instead lies down on the ground.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, Mr. Masato! You don't wanna lay there, you might get trampled! Sheepy: Masato: No, I'm happy lying here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... That's fair.. Arsé-kun: *Kay thinking.png* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey, Aru! C'mere a sec! Arsé-kun: Kay: Merlin's barrier shocked a guy and it worked I think. So! In theory! *he grabs Aru's sword arm and smacks the ginger with Caliburn real quick. bzzt!* Arsé-kun: Har: --'M UP I'M UP, NO MORE DAY DRINKING-- ehhh?! Sheepy: Aru: Oh! Good idea! Sheepy: Aru: Wow, so this is an alcoholic. I understand now! Arsé-kun: *Kay snorts, and then explains to Harland before sending him off. Har spots Morty and bumrushes him like a... Like a bum, I guess* Sheepy: Aru: Okay, you can knock them down and I can knock them out! ... Or, wait! No! Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif! If we shock them, it wakes 'em up! Sheepy: Grif: Ah. I cannot shock people. Sheepy: *Aru comes over to Morty to duplicate how she smacked Har.* Arsé-kun: *Two quest markers pop up. One by Merlin's barrier, and one on his sword. Electrify your sword, Grif!* Sheepy: Grif: I see. A tutorial on how to deal elemental damage. Sheepy: *Grif takes his sword and touches it against the barrier* Arsé-kun: *Element changed to Electric! Will now deal additional Shock damage!* Sheepy: Grif: I could put this in Glaaki's lake to electeocute him. ...Ha. Ha. Ha. Not a continuous current. Sheepy: *Grif, however, starts following Kay and Aru's example and smacking people wih his sword!* Arsé-kun: *It's working!!!* Sheepy: Grif: Good idea. Sheepy: Grif: If we can shock them all, we can figure out what to do next. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Pass it on, too!! Tell everyone that small shocks are working! Sheepy: Grif: Right! Sheepy: *Grif spreads the news!* Arsé-kun: D-Ho: *distantly* I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TAZE STUDENTS Arsé-kun: *D-Ho promptly tazes Christo with more glee than he has the right to have. The tazer might be on the lowest setting, but it's still tazing students.* Sheepy: Christo: -?! Sheepy: *Il is following the group, happily humming to himself...* Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Now get outta' here, foureyes angelface, scram! Shoo, outta the way. I got a music teacher to taze. Sheepy: Christo: I need to deal with my friend first! Arsé-kun: Red: ..? We're not going anymore? Sheepy: Christo: No, of course we aren't! Arsé-kun: Red: Red Magnus was just following you! *he picks up Christo easily* You might get stepped on down there! Sheepy: Christo: Ah... so you weren't being controlled. Arsé-kun: Red: Red Magnus cannot be controlled by anything but his stomach and his friends! *he's very confident* Sheepy: Christo: So you... were just following me. Arsé-kun: Red: Of course! You never leave without saying anything... Sheepy: Christo: So that's it. Well, thank you. Arsé-kun: Red: Don't mention it! Sheepy: Il: Come, come, my friends, let's rush before they run out of the best merch! Arsé-kun: D-Ho: That ain't what this is, you stupid gamer! *he tazes a music teacher without looking, meanwhile* Do you HEAR any weeb music being blasted for miles around?? Sheepy: Il: It's quiet to be polite to others. When people gather, it's for conventions. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: I see, ho! You're completely stupid AND hopeless! Shoo, before I taze you too! Sheepy: Il: Taze? Sheepy: Il: Are we tazing people? Arsé-kun: D-Ho: No, we're lightly tazing people! You'll actually kill someone, ho! Sheepy: Il: Well, I'll watch. Sheepy: Il: Too bad. I left my switch at home. Arsé-kun: *D-Ho starts dual-wielding tazers and wading into the crowd of mostly-students. asshole* Sheepy: *Il follows him, having nothing better to do* Arsé-kun: Lot: *somewhere in the crowd* ---tRISTAN WHY Sheepy: Tristan, faintly: You were acting strange. Arsé-kun: Lot, faintly: I've no excuse. Arsé-kun: *Gradually, everyone affected is shocked back to their senses! We know this because Griflet gets a popup announcing his success.* Sheepy: Grif: We've succeeded. Sheepy: Grif: I can remove the barrier now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Is that what that says? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Are you ready for me to remove the barrier? Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, uh, have fun with that? Sheepy: *Grif approaches the barrier and punches through it!* Arsé-kun: *A green, very decayed hand reaches out of the hole Griflet made, and grabs his arm!!* Sheepy: Grif: Augh?! Sheepy: *Grif attempts pulling his hand away!* Arsé-kun: *This is easily done* Sheepy: Grif: There's something on the other side! Arsé-kun: Kay: Then beat it up! Arsé-kun: *People have begun getting the FUCK out of dodge- That is to say, not staying put. I wouldn't wanna be here either!* Sheepy: Grif: But if I stick my arm in there... Sheepy: *Grif attempts to attack the enemy on the other side!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 13 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 3 Arsé-kun: *I hope you meant "Grif snaps the neck of the enemy on the other side!" because that's what happened.* Sheepy: Grif: *He quickly pulls his hands back* Arsé-kun: *Despite this, a zombie with a very snapped neck starts pulling itself through the hole!* Sheepy: Grif:?! Sheepy: *Tristan is blankly staring at it...* Sheepy: Grif: It doesn't care what I do. Sheepy: Grif: Its weaknesses are...? ... Sheepy: Grif: Light. Unfortunate. I'm no lightbulb. Sheepy: Grif: Fire. ... ... ... Ah, Dad said to practice this, but I never managed to do it. Arsé-kun: *The zombie, of course, does not care that Grif is preoccupied and starts ambling towards him while carefully avoiding the streetlight's beam of radiance. It is not completely stupid.* Sheepy: *A bright light comes from behind grif! It fires towards the zombie and the barrier. The source is Il, whose wings are out! Sir, you aren't supposed to show those to people!* Arsé-kun: *both the barrier and the zombie have been fucking obliterated. ggwp* Sheepy: Il: Judgement passed. Guilty. Target exterminated. Arsé-kun: Kay: bro. Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: That was sicknasty. Do it again! Sheepy: Il:..? Arsé-kun: *There are more zombies behind the barrier, but they look conflicted about approaching. They're all dimly lit by the streetlights as well..* Sheepy: Il: *he's calculating his best course of action...* Sheepy: Il: Fear detected. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... *he turns on his phone's flashlight and points it in the zombies' direction. They don't seem to like that much!* Sheepy: Grif: If we can drive them back, we could find Glaaki's home. Arsé-kun: Kay: Do we wanna do this... Aw, fuck it! Sheepy: Tristan:...I want to come along. Arsé-kun: Kay: What was your name again, Ill? Maybe do something about the guy on the ground behind you-- Ehhhh?? Sheepy: Tristan: I have to. The scars on their bodies... Sheepy: Tristan: I have always had one, just like theirs. Ever since I can remember. Arsé-kun: Lot: I can confirm this. I will not be going, but... *he looks to Griflet* I'm trusting you with his safety. Sheepy: Grif: I'll do my best. Sheepy: Il: I will join you. I must avenge Ignis. He is dead. Arsé-kun: *poor Ignis is on the ground, sure, but he is definitely not dead* Sheepy: Tristan: No, I don't think that's right. Arsé-kun: Lot: ... Il. Let's bring him to Raphael. Sheepy: Il: ? ... ... Sheepy: Il: Orders understood. *he lifts up Ignis* Arsé-kun: Lot: why are you this way Sheepy: Il: Your security level isn't high enough to access this information. Arsé-kun: Lot: That was rhetorical. Lets just go. Sheepy: Il: *he starts hunting down Raph* Arsé-kun: *Lot shrugs to no one in particular and then hurries after him* Arsé-kun: *there's a brief static noise from Grif's bag* Sheepy: *Grif takes out the source* Arsé-kun: *It's Paimon! Reconnecting...* Sheepy: Grif: Dad is back. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, we got our specialized guide back. Oh mighty orb, lead us to a slug bitch. Arsé-kun: Yog: ---m I back yet?? Guten tag? Sheepy: Grif: Dad. Glaaki is back. We need to deal with him. Arsé-kun: Yog: Yes, I noticed! I was going to warn you, but somebody I am not going to name was too in range. Grandfather. Sheepy: Grif: Grandpa... I bet he wanted candy. Sheepy: Grif: One ofthem touched me. Awful. Arsé-kun: Yog: I do not care what he wanted, this was very much in the way! I see there were no casualties, good, good. Here, allow me to make up for my absence. *Paimon lights up. the zombies do not like this*.* Sheepy: Grif: We were warned by Primo. Arsé-kun: Yog: I'll have to thank him later on, then. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. He possessed my friend. Merlin. Sheepy: Grif: I need to fight Glaaki, but... Sheepy: Grif: I can't swim... Arsé-kun: Yog: You do not have to. There are a series of tunnels under the lake. His zombies also cannot swim. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: Should I head off now? Current party: Kay, Tristan, Me. I'm missing a mage. Do I need another party member? Arsé-kun: Yog: There is no additional persons present nor capable of fufilling this role. Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunate. Arsé-kun: Kay: We won't need one if we're not stupid. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Sheepy: Grif: If only that angel had stuck around. Sheepy: Grif: I'll have to deal with these myself. Arsé-kun: Yog: What are you going to do? Sheepy: Grif:..... Arsé-kun: Yog: .... Griflet? Sheepy: Grif: I have no clue. Sheepy: Grif: My attacks are ineffective on them. Items would be wasteful here... Sheepy: Grif:... Hm, but if Dad hasn't broken his yet, I'm sure this isn't too fragile. Sheepy: *Grif suddenly launches Yog's orb at the zombies!* Arsé-kun: *The sheer radiance of Paimon obliterates the zombies before they're even touched, leaving greenish-gray dust flying away on the wind. Paimon ends up rolling away, as orbs do* Sheepy: Grif: I won. Arsé-kun: Kay: We lost our possible guides and your dad. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Dad... he's gone forever... Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Grif's phone* Why would you do that?! Sheepy: Grif: They're gross. Arsé-kun: Yog: I can't control where Paimon goes. Go fetch it before it rolls off the path. Sheepy: Grif: *he hesitantly follows the path of the orb* Arsé-kun: *Kay hesitantly follows HIM, dragging Tristan along* Sheepy: Tristan: Are we finally going? Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, probably. Sheepy: Grif: What if I lose it? Arsé-kun: Kay: How? How do you lose something that goddamn bright? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... Did it roll off the path? Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: I wonder... how embarrassed should I be...? Arsé-kun: Kay: God fucking dammit. *he rips his eyepatch off and pockets it* Let's just fucking go. Bedi is gonna kill me. Sheepy: Grif: How embarrassing... I'll never recover from this... Sheepy: Tristan: So we're going now. Arsé-kun: Yog: *sounding distant* mka, mka ya, mka ult, mka fahf, mka y'nglui Arsé-kun: (tl; fuck, fuck me, fuck you, fuck this, fuck my threshold) Sheepy: Grif: He is speaking forbidden words. Arsé-kun: Kay: Naughty words? Oh, he's cursing? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: *Kay attempts to actually listen. He learns nothing* Sheepy: Grif: Maybe I shouldn't have thrown him. Arsé-kun: Kay: You think?! Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Remember how I agreed to not go off path. Bc Grif threw an important thing and I'm going to obliterate him tomorrow. Fuck. Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] You're going? Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Fuckin someone has to! I'll go in as little as possible. Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] He can't just go alone? Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] You know he probably worked alone before he moved in with you, right? He didn't need a partner then. You don't need to endanger yourself for him. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Ok but tristan wanted to go and he is very much my problem Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Ask Lot, he was there Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] OK. Thanks. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Grif won't be completely stupid bc there's other people to worry about. I should be back before sunrise lmao this sucks Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] You should only be worrying about yourself along with Tristan. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Yes, exactly. I don't need to worry about him because he WON'T be stupid. Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] That's not what I meant... Sheepy: *Grif has been completely ignoring Kay and is more fixated on looking for Paimon* Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] ... Never mind, I already lost Grif, so I'll take a quick look with Tristan and then fuck off Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] I'm not surprised. OK. Stay safe. Come back soon. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] owo)b Arsé-kun: *Kay pockets his phone and crosses Off-Path with Tristan. He isn't happy about it.* Sheepy: Tristan: I have one issue to tell you. Sheepy: Tristan: I will be unable to track Griflet. Arsé-kun: Kay: I didn't expect you to. I can see ahead for us both. Sheepy: Tristan: He has no ugliness about him. Sheepy: Tristan: Therefore, my ability to see him is greatly limited. Arsé-kun: Kay: One day you'll explain that. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Not that I disagree anyway. Arsé-kun: Kay: But okay! Big glowing orb! Shouldn't be hard to find, but I don't see it. Sheepy: Tristan: I don't see much of anything. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, it's like that on this side. But it's glowing, we should be able to see that. Sheepy: Tristan: I can see your ugliness. As long as you are by me, I should be safe. Arsé-kun: Kay: My self-esteem felt that one. Sheepy: Tristan: It isn't abour your appearance. Arsé-kun: Kay: My self esteem felt that one Sheepy: Tristan: No. Almost everyone has it. You are very red. Arsé-kun: *Kay just accepts this and keeps going.* Sheepy: Tristan: I wonder where he went. Arsé-kun: Kay: Judging by how the surroundings look... *he looks around, and then starts walking a bit more to the right* I think this way. I didn't see this when Grif dragged me out last time. Sheepy: Tristan: What is it? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's messy and downhill, that's what it is. Sheepy: Tristan: Unfortunate. Arsé-kun: *Kay starts carefully going downhill, trying to juggle his own balance and Tristan's* Sheepy: *Tristan is staying close to Kay* Arsé-kun: *They reach the bottom! By that point, the surroundings have shifted from the open to... Not that. It's more cavelike than anything down here.* Sheepy: Tristan: It's hard under my feet. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah... It's kinda like a cave or something. Maybe it's a cavern. Sheepy: Tristan: It was mentioned that Glaaki lives in a cave. Arsé-kun: Kay: We shoulda brought more salt. Sheepy: Tristan: Hmm... I can cry on it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't do that. Arsé-kun: *They turn a corner. Grif is on the ground, being poked by several zombies with sticks and similar objects.* Sheepy: *Grif groans and slightly shifts* Sheepy: Tristan: There's something ahead but I can't see it. Sheepy: Grif: Fine... fine! I'm up, I'm up! Quit that! Sheepy: Grif: Cheating slug, sneaking up on me and killing me like that! He probably never even noticed-- he took Dad!! Sheepy: Tristan: I think it's an angry Griflet up ahead. Arsé-kun: Kay: It is. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm gonna just assume you're covered in mud! Don't correct me! Sheepy: Tristan: Well, we found him. Arsé-kun: *the zombies back off. one leans back in to poke Grif one last time.* Sheepy: Grif: Glaaki crushed me and oneshot me! On accident! Arsé-kun: Kay: You gotta pay more attention, man. What if we were with you when that happened? Sheepy: Grif: Hm... If there's lives on the line, I suppose I have to pay attention. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great, because we're here. Tristan, how far did you want to go...? Sheepy: Tristan: I need to find the source. Arsé-kun: *The zombies look at each other, decide they don't want to deal with whatever happens, and all split off to go down different cavern paths. Oh. Helpful* Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: I can't act recklessly anymore. Unfortunate. Arsé-kun: Kay: You shouldn't be and that's that. Fuck you. Now take point and figure out which way we go. Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: You got that way, that way, that way, that way, and I think that's a hard drop. Sheepy: Grif: Which way has the most loot... Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't wanna be here all night!! Sheepy: Grif: Uh... That one. *he points to the biggest cavern* Looks like it has the most loot. Sheepy: Grif: Loot... Sheepy: Grif: But if that's the plot instead... I'll miss out on all of the loot. Arsé-kun: *Kay stares at Grif* Sheepy: Grif: Fine. This is an escort quest. As the escort, you can choose where we go. Arsé-kun: Kay: We're taking the big one. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Sheepy: *Grif heads into the big cavern!* Arsé-kun: *Kay follows him, still holding onto Tristan* Sheepy: Grif: *He's walking faster than usual. He might be a little angry. Only a little* Arsé-kun: *Kay just wants to be done with this. He wants to go home and not be here.* Sheepy: Grif: Where is he... Sheepy: Grif: Glaaakiiiii?! Show yourself! Arsé-kun: Glaaki: *very distantly but echoy* Nafl-og! Arsé-kun: (tl: NO.) Sheepy: Grif: Yes! You killed me and stole my dad! I'm getting my revenge! Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Nog geb, gof’nn! L'ya! Arsé-kun: (tl: Come here, children! To me!) Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Grif, what's it saying? We don't speak slug. Sheepy: Grif: He's telling us to go to him instead. Sheepy: Grif: He must be at the end of this cavern. We wouldn't be having plot dialogue otherwise. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... *he sighs* Well, lets hurry it up. It smells like dank ass in here. Sheepy: *Tristan has no input about the smell. Instead, he's trembling and clinging to Kay as best as he can. Maybe that is an input about the smell* Sheepy: Grif: Right. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... And Tristan's gonna be adding to the smell, probably. Hurry this shit up, I'm impatient. Sheepy: Grif: Having been dead in the past ten minutes makes me less impatient. Arsé-kun: Kay: Orb dad is down there and you're gonna be patient? Sheepy: Grif: Fine! Fine! You say, be careful! Keep an eye out! And then you tell me to hurry up because you're an impatient! Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, fine, you're right there. Sheepy: Grif: *he huffs and turns his attention back to getting to the end of the cavern* Arsé-kun: *Eventually, there is light! Wow!* Arsé-kun: *... Also, do ya'll like moss?* Sheepy: Grif: We're here. Arsé-kun: *Enter the Moss Cavern? y/y* Sheepy: *Grif enters the moss cavern* Arsé-kun: *Kay pushes Tristan into the moss cavern and then goes in himself* Sheepy: Grif: *he looks around* Arsé-kun: *First off, Paimon is the center of attention, giver of light. There are several household furnitures around, like tables and chairs, but they're all CAKED in moss. There are mushrooms along the walls, algae and more moss. And, of course, the gigantic slug-like beast with at least one row of spines and three eyes. Minimum. Two eyes are staring at the party.* Sheepy: Grif: Let me have Dad back. Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Fhtagn. Arsé-kun: (tl: Wait.) Sheepy: Tristan:........Is this... the source? Even it bears a single thread of fate... Arsé-kun: *Glaaki draws near, lowering an eye stalk for a better look at our party* Sheepy: Grif: Don't convert them or I'll convert you into dead. Arsé-kun: Glaaki: *he looks at Grif, to Kay, and settles on Tristan. One can see his gaze slowly wandering downwards* Sheepy: Tristan:...! Arsé-kun: Glaaki: ... Survivor. Sheepy: Tristan:.... Arsé-kun: *Despite the close range and switch to English, the slight echo and distant sounding voice remain. It must be telepathy.* Sheepy: Tristan: I... was supposed to become one of those things, wasn't I? Sheepy: Tristan: You can answer my questions, can't you? Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Yurt. Yes. Sheepy: Tristan: Did you kill my parents? Turn them into those things? Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Yes, no. Sheepy: Tristan: ...Hm. Does your poison affect vision? Arsé-kun: Glaaki: ... Prefer darkness. Vulgtmnah ph’-shogg. Arsé-kun: (tl: Good over (in) the realm of darkness) Sheepy: Tristan: So dark, hazy vision...? Arsé-kun: Glaaki: ...?? *he shifts and tilts like a confused, monstrous dog* Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Vision for dark bad in light. Bright. Sheepy: Tristan:...?! Sheepy: Tristan: No... No... Everything's so dark and hazy. Except forthe bright red threads. Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Grah’n, ult kadishtu r’luh n’gha n’ghft? Arsé-kun: (tl: Lost one/Larva, you understand secret death (in) darkness?) Sheepy: Tristan:?... Yes. Sheepy: Tristan: You didn't cause this? Sheepy: Tristan: So you can't tell me how to fix it... Arsé-kun: Glaaki: ... ... Uhhh. *two of his eyes look to Paimon. Yog does not give any input* ee nafl. No answers. Sheepy: Tristan: How sad! I came down here seeking answers and gained nothing of value! Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Y'lloig ng-ymg ch’ng-y'toklan.. Vulgtlagln Nodens. F'-imas ya ng-kadishtu. Arsé-kun: (tl: my mind and yours crossed and then my blood spilt.. Pray to Nodens. They stopped me and understand.) Sheepy: Tristan: So he might know something more. Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Yes. Sheepy: Tristan: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Kay is trying to take phone pictures in the background. He's given up on the concept of verbal language as a whole.* Sheepy: Grif: Can I have my dad back now? Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif takes Paimon back* Arsé-kun: *Yog is still silent. There is also some moss on Paimon* Sheepy: Grif: *He brushes the moss off* Arsé-kun: Yog: We have three minutes. Do not ask questions. Evacuate immediately. This includes you, Gla'aki. Sheepy: Grif: ?! Arsé-kun: Kay: That bad..?! Sheepy: Grif: How do you expect me to accomplish that?! Arsé-kun: Yog: You have one instant transport spell remaining in storage, but it cannot take three people. Sheepy: Grif: How many can it take? Arsé-kun: Yog: Two. Sheepy: Grif: Fine! *he quickly searches through his inventory and shoves the transport spell into Kay's hands* Kay! Use it and get out with Tristan! Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh?! How do I..?? Sheepy: Grif: Just [use] it! Very simple! Arsé-kun: *Kay smacks the scroll against his knee. Apparently, this counts as [Use] and it activates, warping both Tristan and Kay back to the entrance of the cavern.* Sheepy: Tristan: Are we out...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. This is where we came in. Sheepy: Tristan: Good. Let's go home. I'm sure it's safer there. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he looks at the cavern again* ... Lets at least get you back. Sheepy: Tristan: Yes. Let's go back. Arsé-kun: *They start going back.* Sheepy: Tristan: I'm sure he'll escape just fine. Arsé-kun: *Behind them, the entire cavern seems to explode. There is no sound, strangely enough, but it most certainly happened. The entire area brightly shown a colour of some kind, not one humans know, then faded into smoke.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ........ Sheepy: Tristan: Wh...what... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... the FUCK was that?! Sheepy: Tristan:....Maybe he died after all. Arsé-kun: Kay: .......... Like I said, lets get you back. Sheepy: Tristan: You intend to go back in there? Arsé-kun: Kay: Just to take a look. If I don't see anything, I'll bail. Sheepy: Tristan: I see. Good luck. Arsé-kun: Kay: Thanks. Don't do anything stupid again, aight? Sheepy: Tristan: I won’t. Arsé-kun: *They get back on path from where they left! It's still ass o'clock at night.* Sheepy: *Bedi is waiting for them there.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey. That sucked. There was a slug. Look, I didn't get obliterated. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank goodness... I was worrying nonstop. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sorry. Take this. *he pushes Tristan towards Bedi* Sheepy: Bedi: Thanks...? We're going back now, aren't we? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, you are! Give me like.... Twenty minutes? Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Bedi: What's there to do so late at night? Arsé-kun: Kay: Make sure Grif isn't dead? Sheepy: *Bedi seems lost, but doesn't complain* Sheepy: Bedi: Good...luck? Arsé-kun: Kay: Gonna need it! Something exploded! *and he walks right back off path with a poker face. He has a lot of feelings right now and most of them are stress* Sheepy: *Grif hasn't returned....* Arsé-kun: *Where there was once a cavern is now a ginormous water?-filled crater. This is very clearly problematic.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Griiiif? Sheepy: *There's some splashing in response.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif?? Sheepy: *There's more movement in the water.* Sheepy: *...Something pokes its head out! It looks like it's water (because it is water).* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... *he squints* Elyan. Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: Elyan: *A very close Grif imitation* Kaaaaay! Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't do that..! Where's Grif?? Do you know? Sheepy: Elyan: *stare* Arsé-kun: Kay: No? I gotta do everything myself around here? Sheepy: Elyan: *he slowly nods before shifting back into his normal peacock form and joining Kay* Arsé-kun: *Kay takes his phone out, turns the flashlight app on, and slowly wades into the dead waters. It's cold, but he doesn't complain* Sheepy: *Elyan is looking around from Kay's shoulder.* Sheepy: Elyan: *Kay voice* Griiiiif! Arsé-kun: Kay: Grifleeet?! Sheepy: *There's no response...* Arsé-kun: *...But there's something in the water up ahead!* Sheepy: *It's a bird! It's a plane! ...No, it's just Grif, floating face down, unmoving.* Arsé-kun: *Kay yells out in panic and swims up to him before trying to pull Grif onto his back without dropping his phone. He fails one of these things, but it isn't nearly as important as Griflet. Griflet is FAR more important. Kay starts the journey back to land with Grif in tow, occasionally looking to Elyan for support.* Sheepy: *Elyan helps as best as he can!* Sheepy: *The sound of large wings flapping forms above Kay. It's getting closer, too, and descending-- Something large lands before Kay!* Arsé-kun: *Kay is forced to stop right up against it! He was almost at land, too..* Sheepy: *The creature before Kay lowers its head to his level. It's a dragon!* Arsé-kun: Kay: Uh...! Can you help?! Sheepy: Dragon: Help? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's hurt! Sheepy: Dragon: That's why I'm here. Arsé-kun: Kay: Th-then help us already! Sheepy: Dragon: *he blankly stares at Kay* But you seem okay right now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Griflet ISN'T! Are you dumb or stupid?? D-do something or get out of my way..! Sheepy: Dragon: *he hesitantly shifts* Humans are funny. They only give me two name options. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good lord..! *he resumes the swim back to shore.* Sheepy: Dragon: That isn't my name either. I can't help Grif with you there. I've heard picking up humans upsets them. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he slows down to talk* I mean yes, but... *he shivers a little* I wouldn't mind it right now if it means getting out of here! Sheepy: Dragon: You need to bring him to a human doctor. I brought him to a vet and they rejected him. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, you're the himbo Grif got it from! Okay, simple terms! Grif drowned and I'm freezing! Please get us out of here! Sheepy: Dragon: *he lifts up Kay gently. hold* You should've said so sooner! Very funny! You humans dance around what you want until you die! Arsé-kun: *Kay tightly grabs onto Griflet. The dragon was right- He hates this! .. Because it's fucking cold.* Sheepy: *The dragon starts heading back to the path, carrying them with him* Sheepy: *...Based on the occasional yawn, this dragon has just woken up...* Arsé-kun: *... And with the adrenaline starting to wear off, Kay is starting to feel exhausted.* Sheepy: Dragon: *yawn* By the way. My name isn't Himbo. It's Dove. Like the emotion! Arsé-kun: Kay: I called you a himbo. It's an insult, kind of. *he doesn't bother arguing* Big, dumb, nice to women. A himbo. Himbo dragon. Sheepy: Dove: Ah! I love women! Very pretty and nice! Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I've heard.. Sheepy: Dove: But they keep taking things from me and leaving... Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: People are jerks, that's why.. Sheepy: Dove Maybe... humans don't like me very much? Arsé-kun: Kay: Humans don't like anything half the time... We're a fuckin' mess. Sheepy: Dove: You like my son. It's enough for me! ...Ah, look, look! Another human! Sheepy: *Bedi is at the edge of the path, waiting. He is, understandably, frozen in fear from Dove.* Arsé-kun: Kay: *to Bedi, raising his voice* What's my time?! Was it twenty minutes?? Sheepy: Bedi: ...?! K-Kay?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Freezing my balls off, but I'm still here! Got Grif! I need a beer! Sheepy: Dove: To warm up, I usually make a fire! Very toasty! Good for making cows crunchy! Arsé-kun: Kay: If bonfires were allowed on campus, I'd say go for it. But they're not. Sheepy: Dove: Too bad.
0 notes
theburglcr · 7 years
Text
Tumblr media
“Finders keepers, suckers!” note: i haven’t added a quote for every single thing in the game, but it’s still a long read. i mostly just came up with the relatively ‘important’ quotes. that said, please enjoy.
Shovel- “Truly my best friend.” Pickaxe- “I love the rocky irony here.” Razor- “This is why people don’t have beards.” Hammer- “Any work well done just begs for a load of this.” Lucy the Axe- “Between you and me, he thinks ya look sharp.” Feather Pencil- “My grammar is better than most.” Brush- “Never been the hairdressin’ sort, myself.” Saddle- “But is it comfortable for the animal?” Salt Lick- “Don’t taste-test, don’t taste-test...” Miner Hat- “Never thought I’d find one again!” Endothermic Fire- “All sense is gone along with the darkness.” Mushlight- “Will my stomach glow if I eat this?” Willow’s Lighter- “I should never be trusted with this.” Bottle Lantern- “My brightest idea so far.” Buoyant Chiminea- “Water can’t steal the fire from me now.” Backpack- “Imagine all the money you can fit in there.” Piggyback- “Here’s hopin’ it’s not as sweaty.” Bug Net- “What a fearsome, vicious hunter I am.” Fishing Rod- “I hope to catch hidden treasure with this.” Straw Roll- “Sleepin’ with straw gettin’ in your clothes. Great.” Fur Roll- “This feels morbid somehow.” Umbrella- “Not today, elements.” Compass (generic)- “Wish it could point me towards treasure.” Luxury Fan- “I bet I could fly with two of these.” Siesta Lean-to- “I’m a shade master.” Pretty Parasol- “Frilly, but will do.” Telltale Heart- “Why do I hafta fix them if they mess up?” Booster Shot- “Rot injected through a bee stinger. Healthy!” Water Balloon- “Takin’ a bath the fun way.” Whirly Fan- “The things I do for a lil’ coolin’...” Bernie- “Ya don’t look like you’d be worth much.” Bundled Supplies- “Oh hoh! The thrill this brings me!” Booty Bag- “Where have ya been all my life!?” Silly Monkey Ball- “The humane solution to their meddlin’.” Anti-Venom- “Tropical insurance.” Crock Pot- “I ain’t no cook, but it should help me.” Bee Box- “They work hard, then I steal from them.” Bucket-o-Poop- “Ew. Good thing I wear gloves.” Science Machine and Alchemy Engine- “This is where the magic happens.” Thermal Measurer- “Let’s see the cold sneak up on me now.” Lightning Rod- “Never hurts to lessen the chances.” Gunpowder- “No safe is too strong!” Cartographer’s Desk- “Closest thing to an artistic outlet.” Accomploshrine- “I don’t know what I did, but I did it?” Spear- “I miss my daggers.” Boomerang- “A loyal weapon if I’ve ever seen one.” -- (hit self)- “$!@#! That smarts!” Blow Dart- “I ain’t no coward, but when in Rome...” Fire Dart- “Fear the albino dragon!” Sleep Dart- “Should I worry if I yawn after usin’ this?” Football Helmet- “I’m wearin’ the pig’s butt as a hat.” Grass Suit- “... Sure this will protect me.” Log suit- “I’m not on board with being hurt. Heh.” Marble Suit- “This armor’s the direct opposite of what I am.” Bee Mine- “Boom, bees.” Tooth Trap- “Come get a piece of me now, doggies!” Shelmet- “Function over fashion...” Snurtle Shell Armor- “A less dignified way to hide from trouble.” Scale Mail- “I’m this hot on my own, thanks.” Electric Dart- “Can’t come up with a joke. I’m shocked.” Tail o’ Three Cats- “I’m not even using it and I feel sorry already.” Spear Gun- “Now this is more my style!” Trident- “This means mermaids exist around here, right?” Cactus Spike- “Like my daggers, but much weaker. Shame.” Cactus Armor- “Always been told I’m kind of a prick.” Birdcage- “Reminds me of jail.” -- (occupied)- “I know the feelin’.” Pig House- “Wait, does this mean they have stuff inside?” Chest- “To store my stolen goods.” Scaled Chest- “Summer ain’t gettin’ to me or my stuff.” Mini Sign (drawn on)- “What? I’m an artist too, ya know.” Friendly Scarecrow- “His smile looks like my mom’s.” Wardrobe- “If it’s purely green on the inside, that wasn’t me.” Potted Succulent- “Her name is Erikita.” Sand Castle- “Totally sure this is not a waste of time.” Seaworthy (Vanilla or ROG world)- “Buenas!” Sea Chest- “Bring your stuff everywhere ya go.” Rope- “I use this often.” Purple Gem- “The downfall of the greedy.” Nightmare Fuel- “This stuff makes me uneasy.” Marble Bean- “Is there a money bean, too?” Empty Bottle- “Not very interesting on its own.” Prestihatitator- “Prestowhat now?” Shadow Manipulator- “Not sure I should be anywhere near this thing.” Pan Flute- “Makes pickpocketin’ so much easier.” Night Light- “See to $!@# believe.” Dark Sword- “Knew I had a sharp mind, but this...” Chilled Amulet- “So this is what cool people use, huh?” Nightmare Amulet- “Makes me see what I shouldn’t see.” Life Giving Amulet- “Could make a pretty penny off of it!” Telelocator Staff- “Probably dumb to mess with this. I’m doin’ it anyway.” Old Bell- “Do the work for me, big fella.” Moon Dial- “I’ve been mooned. Heh.” Piratihatitator- “Para... Piri... MAGIC $!@#!” Straw Hat- “This’ll prevent fires from startin’ on my head.” Beefalo Hat- “Convenient humiliation.” Beekeeper Hat- “I look honest in my stealin’ with this.” Feather Hat- “Probably the most colorful I’ll ever look.” Top Hat- “Rich people headwear. I hate it.” Puffy Vest- “I’m warm, but at what cost...?” Bush Hat- “Disguise 101.” Garland- “How to look pure and unsuspectin’.” Cat Cap- “I’m sorry, kitties...” Fashion Melon- “All the green doesn’t make it less embarrassin’.” Floral Shirt- “This one was made for me.” Eyebrella- “Rain is in the eye of the beholder.” Desert Goggles- “Got somethin’ in my eye... just kiddin’.” Blubber Suit- “Eugh! It’s noisy!” Windbreaker- “I’ll stop giggling when I forget its name.” Particulate Purifier- “For when chili night gets outta hand.” Shark Tooth Crown- “Bet I can impress the mermaids with this.” Dumbrella- “More like... oh, wait.” Log Raft- “I mean... nah, can’t defend this.” Raft- “It’s a slight improvement.” Armoured Boat- “Safe piratin’.” Iron Wind- “Doubles as shark chopper, too!” Boat Cannon- “Can’t be a proper pirate without this.” Sea Trap- “One step closer to a fancy dinner.” Trawl Net- “To steal junk from the sea.” Super Spyglass- “Could only dream to see this far until now.” Captain Hat- “Makes me feel like a sea cop. Feh.” Pirate Hat- “Ahoy, ye scallywags!” Obsidian Machete and Obsidian Axe- “Hot and sharp, much like me.” Obsidian Coconade- “I can feel it burn with anticipation.” Sail Stick- “To sail away from my problems faster.” Thulecite- “My highly valuable object senses are tinglin’.” Thulecite Medallion- “Ain’t useful here.” -- (calm)- “Nothin’ worth notin’.” -- (warning)- “Woah, something’s happenin’.” -- (nightmare)- “But what does it mean?” The Lazy Forager- “Nobody can blame me for snatchin’ their stuff now!” Magiluminescence- “I’m brilliant. Heh.” Construction Amulet- “Of course the green gem is the most economic one.” The Lazy Explorer- “Catch me if ya can!” Star Caller’s Staff- “Do the stars grant wishes too or...?” Deconstruction Staff- “ ‘Tis like a magic hammer.” Thulecite Crown- “Should be worth a fortune!” Houndius Shootius- “Those ancient guys were geniuses.” Birds of the World- “I like the tauraco leucotis one.” Applied Horticulture- “Good, I’m no farmer.” Sleepytime Stories- “I can’t tell if it bores me or it’s workin’.” The End is Nigh!- “Good thing I enjoy readin’ during storms.” On Tentacles- “I’ve read enough on them to know where this is goin’.” Joy of Volcanology- “Adds more than a lil’ spice to your current situation.” Kittykit- “Cute and clever, just like its momma.” Vargling- “Cachorrito!!!” Ewelet- “Smelly but soft.” Broodling- “Gosh, so ugly yet so endearin’.” Glomglom- “I ain’t one for hugs, but you’re just so fluffy.” Giblet- “Always wanted to have a chicken.” Candy Bag- “I wanna fill it to the brim with chocolate coins.” Gift- “The best things are the ones ya don’t hafta pay for.” Winter’s Feast Tree- “I feel something growin’ three sizes inside of me! Is it my wallet?” Lucky Whistle- “I HAVE THE POWER!” Charcoal- “Oh. Christmas came early.” Pine Cone- “I stole that tree’s baby. Nice.” Marble Tree- “Okay, now gold trees must be a thing.” Totally Normal Tree- “Tremblin’ like a leaf here. Heh.” Living Log- “Same.” Flower- “Green with a dash of pretty.” Evil Flower- “Green with a dash of evil...?” Cactus- “That one’s still got its daggers.” Tumbleweed- “Let’s see the trash it’s collected!” Jungle Tree- “Sensin’ lots of loot from that tree!” Snake Den- “I can hear ya hissin’, ya know.” Brainy Sprout- “The sea’s got a comparatively tiny brain.” Palm Tree (sapling)- “I’m callin’ ya Rosie.” Regular Jungle Tree- “You’re goin’ down like a sack of bricks.” Beehive- “It contains sweet, delicious treasure.” Killer Bee Hive- “Heck no.” Hound Mound- “Those barkin’ pests come from there.” Bones- “Mine will not be found like this.” Harp Statue- “Unlikely as it sounds, I don’t have the head.” Rundown House- “If you’re gonna steal an idea, make it better at least.” Merm Head- “My nose begs for mercy.” Pig Head- “This world does make ya lose your head...” Boulder- “Destruction comes with a reward.” Gold Nugget- “I might’ve been a hero in a world without this.” Grave- “Time to work!” Grave (dug)- “A job well done.” Wooden Thing- “It feels... incomplete.” -- (fully assembled)- “Long as I can take my gold with me.” Ring Thing- “What use is a ring with no jewels?” Worm Hole- “Disgust and logic say no...” -- (open)- “... Morbid curiosity says yes.” -- (exited)- “Disgust and logic were right.” Skeleton- “Thanks for the free stuff, man.” Spider Eggs- “Wonder if I can teach them to pickpocket?” Walrus Camp- “Gives a rich Walrus vibe somehow.” Mini Glacier- “Wonder how many ‘cool’ jokes it gets.” Hollow Stump- “It’s fulla hairballs on the inside.” Glommer’s Statue- “Looks important and exploitable.” -- (mined)- “Hope it was neither.” Skeleton (self)- “I meant to do that.” Florid Postern- “Got the feelin’ its beauty is just for show.” Magma- “Great, more things to be burned by.” Stagehand- “Far too pretty and harmless. I don’t trust it.” -- (walking)- “I’m always right.” Loot Stash- “Nobody leaves something like this all on its own.” Prime Ape Hut- “My old room pales in comparison to that disaster.” Magma Pile- “Now if that doesn’t beg to be dug up...” Steamer Trunk- “The sea smiles upon me today!” Volcano- “Dangerous. Something valuable must be inside.” Slot Machine- “I know better than to linger ‘round this.” Electric Isosceles- “For the insanely lazy explorer.” Octo Chest- “We’ve made a fair trade, friend.” Debris- “Ain’t proud of that one.” Wildbore Head- “Looks mad he’s dead.” Seashell- “One of these’s gotta have a pearl inside.” X Marks the Spot- “My fingers itch in anticipation!” Rawling- “I’m deranged enough, I guess.” Watery Grave- “That’s one heckuva way to die. Hah-hah!” Wreck- “I can wreck it all the more.” Volcano Staff- “If only it made it rain money instead.” Plugged Sinkhole- “A poor attempt at hidin’ a hole.” Rope to Surface- “Shame some sunlight is neccessary.” Splumonkey Pod- “Imagine all the valuable junk they’re unaware they have.” Odd Skeleton (complete)- “Well, curiosity sated. Or is it...” Ancient Statue- “Now that’s one statue worth a million.” Ancient Pseudoscience Station- “A museum would pay a lot for this, probably.” Ornate Chest- “How temptin’! It must be a trap.” Large Ornate Chest- “Outside matches the inside.” Nightmare Light- “Shouldn’t be ‘round this, however convenient it is.” Ancient Chest- “My greed is far too great to leave it alone.” Ancient Murals: -- (first)- “Those guys sure look miserable.” -- (second)- “Can’t read this...” -- (third)- “What’s that covering them? Ink?” -- (fourth)- “Eww! What the heck!” -- (fifth)- “What was that all about?!” Coffee Plant- “I did not expect these to grow here.” Elephant Cactus- “Dagger-filled cactus ready to fire!” Obsidian- “Almost sure this costs as much as it did to get.” Charcoal Boulder- “I’d save Santa some work if I mined this.” Burnt Ash Tree- “What did ya expect?” Dragoon Den- “Looks like the ideal thieves den if I’ve ever seen one.” Woodlegs’ Cage- “Nobody’s gonna be left behind bars while I’m around!” Clockwork Knight- “A knight of shinin’ metal.” Clockwork Bishop- “Never been the religious type.” Clockwork Rook- “Can hear it stomp from all the way over here.” Charlie (the darkness monster)- “Who’s there?” Charlie (attacked by)- “$!@#! Ya coward!” Hound- “Stand back! Don’t make me run!” Red Hound- “They’re fireproof now!?” Blue Hound- “They send a chill down my spine!” Hound’s Tooth- “I’m not tremblin’, you’re tremblin’.” Krampus- “You’re not even sneaky. Bad thief!” Krampus Sack- “Ah, a proper sack for a burglar.” Tentacle Spots- “Be right back, burnin’ my gloves.” Big Tentacle- “Surface doesn’t seem so bad all of a sudden.” Werepig- “I thought I could trust ya!!!” Ghost- “This time ya might just disappear.” Tam o’ Shanter- “No newsy cap, but still nice.” Mosquito- “If ya steal my blood, I’ll steal yours. Fair warning.” Mosquito Sack- “Didn’t think I could take my threat literally...” Cave Spider- “Now that’s just unfair.” Spitter- “Can’t blame it. They’re uglier up close.” Batilisk- “Yeesh, it looks so full of hate.” Meat Bulb- “Thinks it can trick me. How cute.” Fleshy Bulb- “My personal, living trap.” Eyeplant- “The plant spies with its little eyes.” Slurper- “It leeches off my lunch. Yuck.” Dangling Depth Dweller- “If they weren’t so aggressive, I’d adopt one.” Depths Worm (lure)- “Something’s very off ‘bout that.” Varg- “No! No! No no NO!” Ewecus- “Walkin’ ball of wool and gross.” Floaty Boaty Knight- “Great, the mechanical navy is here.” Poison Mosquito- “Ya can keep the poison, thanks.” Stink Ray- “Woah, man! What’s that funky smell?” Swordfish- “This fish got its own natural dagger.” White Whale- “All white, fearsome and hates everything. Like me!” Dragoon- “Sadly, they’re not intelligent enough for a truce.” Killer Bee- “Okay, I get it. I should buzz off.” Pig (normal)- “I could mug him if needed.” -- (follower)- “I’ll teach ya to steal for me.” Bunnyman- “A white ball of adorable. Like me!” Bunny Puff- “Hope they can forgive me.” Frog- “Rana o sapo?” Rock Lobster- “Well hello, potential bodyguard.” Pengull- “Lookit all that meat waddlin’ about.” Splumonkey- “Stealin’ from the thief. The nerve!” Catcoon- “I appreciate its eye mask.” Volt Goat- “I want one.” -- (charged)- “Maybe gettin’ one can wait.” Blue Whale- “Is it cryin’? Nope, just wet.” Bottlenose Ballphin- “I love you so much.” Prime Ape- “More like a prime pain in the $!@#.” Wildbore- “Doesn’t look like someone ya can steal from.” Gobbler- “Only I steal food ‘round here!” Chester- “A burglar’s second best friend.” Mandrake (planted)- “Should be picky with this one. Heh.” Glommer- “I want a statue for doin’ nothing, too.” Grass Gekko- “Your tail is grass and I’m gonna mow it.” Hutch- “There’s empty space where its brain should be.” Canary (poisoned)- “Keep your distance.” Shifting Sands- “Sure, hide like I do- I mean a coward!” Sharkitten- “One day you’ll grow up to be as fearsome as me.” Packim Baggims- “Stop hoardin’ my fish.” Parrot Pirate- “A bird after my own heart.” Seagull- “We just want to survive. Am I right?” Doydoy- “I feel sorry enough for this thing not to kill it.” Fishermerm- “Finally, someone I can steal from without consequences!” Tallbird- “Something can only be so territorial over one thing.” Tallbird Nest (with egg)- “Looks cozy in there. I can fix that.” Tallbird Egg- “Could sell this as a dinosaur egg...” Hatching Tallbird Egg- “Am I gonna be a mom? I don’t wanna.” Smallbird- “Expected ya to have more leg. Huh.” -- (hungry) “Don’t have to regurgitate something for ya, do I?” Smallish Tallbird- “I ain’t tellin’ it about the birds and the bees.” Treeguard- “I stole too many tree lives.” Spider Queen- “Gonna need a bigger sandal.” Spiderhat- “Thinks whatever a spider can.” Deerclops- “Well, $!@# me.” Ancient Guardian- “Whatever it is you’re protectin’ will be mine.” Bearger- “A thief doesn’t share her food, bud.” Moose/Goose- “Sorry, I just haven’t laughed this hard in a while.” Moose/Goose Egg- “Can’t mess with something this big.” Mosling- “Curiosity is likely gonna kill the cat.” Dragonfly- “It was nice to meet me.” Bee Queen- “Gimme your sting, Imma give that thing right back.” Bee Queen Crown- “Fool bees, get honey.” Klaus- “Lookin’ different, Santa. New haircut?” Stag Antler- “Ya better be worth all that mess.” Toadstool- “This ain’t no prince!” Sporecap- “That thing just screams magic.” Reanimated Skeleton- “It should not be alive.” Ancient Fuelweaver- “Almost wish I didn’t have to bring ya down.” Bone Armor- “It protects a lot more than you’d think.” Bone Helm- “I’m scared of usin’ this...” Shadow Thurible- “Why does it smell like money?” Palm Treeguard- “Nothin’ a good bit of fire can’t fix.” Quacken- “The bigger they are, the more loot they give!” Chest of the Depths- “Seein’ this is very satisfying.” Sealnado- “Time to break some wind.” -- (seal form)- “Killin’ it would be easy. Far too easy.” Tiger Shark- “Tigre y tiburón... Tigreburón?” Maxwell- “He used my greed against me.” Pig King- “I can smell his richness from afar.” Wes (trapped)- “What do I get if I help ya?” Abigail- “Sucks to be you.” Bigfoot- “I need new pants.” Abigail (revival failed)- “I feel kinda sad it didn’t work. Just a little.” Antlion- “I know that face. The ‘I want your things’ face.” -- (upset)- “What did I do now?!” Yaarctopus- “Snazzy getup, man.” Egg- “Like a fragile chest with tasty treasure.” Monster Meat- “This is far from a good idea.” Morsel- “Meatling.” Leafy Meat- “I can make it tasty. Just leaf it to me.” Fish- “Dad used to eat these a lot.” Eel- “Think I’m feelin’ eel.” Winter Koalefant Trunk- “Looks warm and big enough for me to wear it...” Cooked Frog Legs- “How is this fancy food?” Dead Swordfish- “Could make a good weapon if it didn’t smell so bad.” Dead Jellyfish- “I’ve always liked jelly.” Cooked Limpets- “Should stick my pinky out while eatin’ these.” Shark Fin- “The pest’s hat.” Delicious Wobster- “Now this can be called a delicacy.” Bile-Covered Slop- “May as well eat manure.” Extra Smelly Durian- “Smell’s stronger than a corpse’s.” Halved Coconut- “For the true tropical experience.” Red Cap- “Never trust red fungi.” Green Cap- “Still hardly sane to consume.” Blue Cap- “Mixed feelings...” Cactus Flower- “I see flowers awfully often ‘round here.” Bacon and Eggs- “English breakfast is weird.” Butter Muffin- “Don’t think killin’ the butterfly was neccessary.” Dragonpie- “Hopefully not as hot as it looks.” Fishsticks- “I bet a cat would love this.” Fish Tacos- “And now they will swim in my tummy.” First Full of Jam- “It doesn’t help I’m a messy eater...” Froggle Bunwich- “A delicious blasphemy.” Fruit Medley- “More delicate-lookin’ than I’m used to.” Honey Ham- “Surprisingly, it works really well.” Honey Nuggets- “Oh... gonna enjoy every part of it.” Kabobs- “I’m a culinary genius.” Mandrake Soup- “I consider this a good idea somehow.” Meatballs- “Missed these so much!” Meaty Stew- “I’d be stewpid to let it go to waste.” Monster Lasagna- “Only dogs would like this.” Pierogi- “How do I even know how to make all these neat recipes?” Powdercake- “Wouldn’t even feed this to a dog. My prey, however...” Pumpkin Cookie- “Interesting. And tasty.” Ratatouille- “Used to eat this a lot back before all this.” Stuffed Eggplant- “It’s as fillin’ at it looks.” Taffy- “Good thing I don’t care that much ‘bout health.” Turkey Dinner- “I ain’t festive, but this deserves celebration.” Unagi- “Deelicious! Heh.” Waffles- “Always wanted to try these. Mmmm.” Wet Goop- “Somethin’ went wrong.” Flower Salad- “Yes, I’m eatin’ the flower too.” Guacamole- “Not baa-aa-aad.” Ice Cream- “Ahhh, so refreshin’.” Melonsicle- “Perfect to chill with.” Spicy Chili- “ ‘Tis what I call dragon food.” Trail Mix- “What’s that I hear? Is it... jealous gobblin’?” Jellybeans- “These fattened me up as a kid.” Banana Pop- “I stabbed this banana.” Bisque- “Picky in ingredients, but worth it.” California Roll- “Fancier than I’m used to.” Ceviche- “It’s funny to see other people try to pronounce it.” Coffee- “Not a huge fan.” Jelly-O Pop- “Wonder if I can make one with peanut butter?” Lobster Bisque- “Everyone goes nuts for this one.” Lobster Dinner- “Now this is the kinda rich people food I can get behind.” Seafood Gumbo- “Dad would have a ball with this.” Shark Fin Soup- “Don’t think I can eat it with a good conscience.” Surf ‘n’ Turf- “Sure’s got a fun name.” Fresh Fruit Crepes- “Wow, looks pretty.” Monster Tartare- “Eugh! If I really gotta.” Mussel Bouillabase- “Buy... bi... uh, food.” Sweet Potato Souffle- “Sorta looks like a big muffin.” Seeds- “Normally I steal what they produce...” Honey- “Sticks to my gloves.” Butterfly Wings- “The loot of a dead bug.” Butter- “... Well then.” Rot- “Nothing is eternal, I guess.” Rotten Egg- “Takes one to know another.” Phlegm- “I’m gonna hurl.” Blueprint- “Bet this’d burn nicely! Just kiddin’.” Gears- “It’s not murder if it ain’t organic, right?” Ashes- “Nothing valuable ever winds up like this.” Red Gem- “A lively ruby.” Blue Gem- “Sapphire! So refreshin’.” Yellow Gem- “Not gold, but good enough.” Green Gem- “The best color, period.” Orange Gem- “Garnet? I’m not sure.” Manure- “Gotta be pretty bad for me to need this.” Melty Marbles- “Oh, canicas.” Fake Kazoo- “Maybe it can still hold some value.” Gord’s Knot- “Need to read that story sometime.” Gnome- “This could kill a zombie.” Tiny Rocketship- “It ain’t blastin’ off again.” Frazzled Wires- “Don’t remember cutting these off...” Ball and Cup- “Mastered this as a kid.” Hardened Rubber Bung- “Rubber harder than the sole of my boot.” Mismatched Buttons- “I’m cuter.” Second-hand Dentures- “Hope I can find a proper toothbrush instead.” Lying Robot- “Please. Brutal honesty is where it’s at.” Dessicated Tentacle- “Got the feelin’ this will make me very happy...” Webber’s Skull- “Fine, I’ll respect the dead just this time.” Pile o’ Balloons- “If only I had a reason to party.” Codex Umbra- “Smells like a bad idea.” Leaky Teacup- “Wonder if there’s a matchin’ teapot?” White and Black Bishop- “Kinda miss playin’ chess with dad.” Bent Spork- “Get bent.” Toy Trojan Horse- “This one’s actually really cute.” Unbalanced Top- “Lil’ nostalgic lookin’ at it, broken as it is.” Back Scratcher- “Ya scratch my back, I steal when you’re not lookin’.” Beaten Beater- “How much is this worth? Beats me.” Frayed Yarn- “Kitties would find it more endearin’ than I do.” Shoe Horn- “Boots are better for a reason.” Lucky Cat Jar- “If that pig’s got taste at all, he’ll know how important this jar is.” Air Unfreshener- “Should be poop-shaped instead. Ugh.” Potato Cup- “Now I, too, can drink potato-flavored water.” Wire Hanger- “My clothes may be tattered and dirty, but no longer wrinkled!” Iridescent Gem- “I like to look at it... is it lookin’ back at me?” Moon Caller’s Staff- “Now I can moon others too.” Shadow Atrium- “It should not be beatin’.” Beach Toy- “Some sandy guy could use this.” Crumpled Package- “Ya know what they say. One man’s garbage...” Venom Gland- “Fight fire with fire.” Dubloons- “Yes!! Proper money!” Message in a Bottle- “Not now, I’m busy lookin’ for treasure.” Snake Oil- “Tryin’ to fool me. For shame.” Orange Soda- “Sodarn excited to find this.” Voodoo Doll- “Do I or do I not have the heart to ‘play’ with it?” Ukulele- “Well, Aloha O’e.” License Plate- “M’sure I can use this for something...” Ancient Vase- “Ancient things are for museums. Museums pay for this.” Brain Cloud Pill- “Can’t remember what it does. Memory’s foggy.” Wine Bottle Candle- “Waste of good wine.” Broken AAC Device- “Doesn’t seem at all valuable like this.” One True Earring- “Sounds like something worth a fortune!” Old Boot- “Looks good to kick bums with.” Sextant- “Heh. Heheh.” Toy Boat- “I wanna paint a skull and crossbones on the sail.” Soaked Candle- “May have some use still.” Sea Worther- “Feel like a scallywag for not knowin’ what this is.” Iron, Bone and Golden Key- “It unlocks something important. I can feel it.” Tarnished Crown- “Doesn’t seem like sellin’ material.” Failed (Adventure Mode)- “That was a waste of resources.” Obelisk (sane, down)- “This thing gives me a bad feeling.” -- (insane, up)- “So it wasn’t decoration!” -- (sane, up)- “Lemme guess. I can’t blow it up.” -- (insane, down)- “Whoa, who chopped it down?” Divining Rod (before being picked up)- “Why is that radio on a stick?” -- “You’re gonna be a useful friend.” -- (cold)- “Who knows where it is...” -- (warm)- “Must be in this area.” -- (warmer)- “Gotta keep my eyes peeled!” -- (hot)- “It’s mine now!” Maxwell’s Door- “A creepy door in the middle of the woods. Hm.” Maxwell’s Phonograph- “Make that thing stop!” Maxwell Statue- “Vandalism just waitin’ to happen.” Maxwell’s Tooth Trap- “Nice try, old man.” -- (went off)- “Nicely done, old man...” Nightmare Throne- “My butt hurts just lookin’ at it.” Generic- “Heck if I know.” Freedom- “No prison is eternal!” Freezing- “$!@#, I’m cold!!” Battlecry- “De España con amor!” -- (prey)- “Right behind ya.” -- (pig)- “Time to smash the piggy bank!” Leaving combat- “Not my kinda approach anyway.” Dusk- “The sun hides as crime awakes.” Hounds are coming- “I hate that sound.” Deerclops is coming- “What the heck was that!” Eating (painful food)- “Oof. That wasn’t wise.” Hungry- “El hambre...” Lightning miss- “Gave me a $!@# scare!” Overheating- “I’m meltin’...!” Tree shelter- “Nature ain’t so bad, after all.” Giant arrival- “I know for a fact that’s no good.” Refusing to eat Eternal Fruitcake- “I’ll never be desperate enough.” Cave-in warning- “Keep movin’! Keep movin’!” Encumbered (carrying heavy object) - “Hrng... Huff...” - “I ain’t... made for this...!” - “This... is no work... for a thief...” - “Ugh... my everything...” Volcano eruption warning- “Be prepared.” Volcano eruption- “Run like heck and don’t stop!” Sea hounds are coming- “Not even in the sea...” Sealnado is coming- “Pretty windy today, huh.” Map border approaching- “A dead end. Or is it?” Entering map border- “Who knows by this point.” Exiting map border- “Whatever the case, we’re here now.” Riding wave- “Yeehaw!” Formal Set- “Nobody suspects a thief under this perfect look.” Survivor Set- “Sometimes, to find the diamond in the rough, ya gotta become rough yourself.” Shadow Set- “Now acceptin’ worship in the form of your valuables!” Halloween Costume Set- “Monkey business afoot.” Rose Set- “I am now even more of a prick.”
20 notes · View notes