#''i am not afraid. these were always the parts of myself that i least feared losing.''

[scenteddelusion5]

Could you write a Vox x Alastor’s Child? Wherein reader views their fights as a “bonding activity” because it relieves stress for the both of them because they’re not willing to kill each other due to not wanting to hurt reader and they’ll be civil when they need to be. A large chunk of their rivalry being due to Alastor seeing Vox as trying to steal his child from him (making them his partner both romantically & business wise, them becoming an actor) and Vox seeing it the same way with Alastor trying to drag them on random outings when they’re supposed to film or have time together. - @am-i-interrupting

"Two households, both unalike in dignity, In our unsightly hell, where we lay our scene," PART 1

Vox x gn reader (Alastor's child)

Note: At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this one, especially because i had already written a daughter character, already have a daughter oc myself and then would have this child. But then I had this Romeo and Juliet inspo in mind and now I wanted to do it.

!!!!! NOTE ABOUT REQUEST !!!!!

So I really liked the idea of this Vox and Alastor dynamic but I can't write short stories so instead I'm doing a 2 or 3 parter about how they got into this dynamic. So they aren't like how you requested yet.

Word count: 3436

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

"Two households, both unalike in dignity, In our unsightly hell, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where denizen blood makes denizen teeth unclean, From forth the innovation of these two foes, A pair of star-crossed lovers arise,"

Y/n sat on the balcony of their father's mansion. Nothing but trees, or at least hell's version of trees, could be seen from there. The bustling city was ways away from the territory most denizens were too afraid of to enter. The book they were reading was written a small auteur in hell, it was obvious that he had taken great inspiration from a much more famous work. An old-fashioned, cannibal and a modern man, with more savoury tastes, falling in love, their families hate each other yada yada yada. Nothing they hadn't read before.

The demon, whom resembled a deer, put their book down and started messing with the knobs on their older radio. It sprung alive with the voice of their father; Alastor the Radio Demon, feared all throughout hell. On his broadcast played a catchy jazz song that, every once in a while, got interrupted by agonizing screams.

"That was an amazing number." The Radio glowed green as he spoke. "It brings me all the way back to the nights I spend in the speakeasies. Let's continue on-"

Everyday Alastor would broadcast the news and gossip of the week at exactly 10 a.m. and Y/n would always tune in.

"- Oh, and make sure to stay clear of the Carmine mansion this evening. The overlords are having a little get-together. So if you don't want to be served for dinner, I recommend you go home early tonight."

Right, Camilla Carmine was holding a party to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Carmine industries. Y/n was so excited. Normally their father wouldn't let them go to parties, but considering he would be there, he allowed them to go this time.

"Lastly I have a personal message to my favourite fan. I couldn't have wished for a better fawn. I hope you liked the breakfast I cooked especially for you, that demon was a struggle to catch. Hahaha," he laughed, "see you after the broadcast. Let's put on (song), it's not really my style but considering it's your favourite, I can make an exception." Their song slowly came on while Alastor's voice faded.

Y/n hadn't made friends outside of cannibal town. They had to admit they were a bit nervous...

The day went by faster and faster as the night grew closer. Y/n had put on their green gown/suit. It was beautiful; adorned with black lace, a pattern of turns and roses sewn into it.

"What do you think?" Y/n asked while turning around.

Alastor, whose suit didn't look all THAT different from his usual one, studied them up and down. "You look delightful, fawn. Every single demon in that building will see green from jealousy."

"Thanks dad."

Despite the fact that cars were already owned by most citizens in the time Alastor was alive, he preferred to walk, even to such an important event as this. So, when the two off them arrived, they stepped in through a side door instead of the big red carpet where the limousines dropped off guests.

"Remember Y/n, don't talk to people you don't know and if something goes wrong, find me or Rosie." Alastor's antlers started to grow and static filled the air. "I'll destroy however dares to hurt you."

"Don't worry, dad. I'm an adult, I can take care of myself." They laughed off their dad's threatening stature. "But if something happens I can't handle, I'll go to you."

The ballroom was decorated with black gold and white. All kinds of denizens were roaming around, from high standing overlords to imp servants. There were no familiar faces. The only other overlord Y/n had ever met besides Alastor was Rosie. Even so they had immediately split up from Alastor in favour of exploring the buffet table.

After picking up a plate, they started picking the tastiest little snacks. There was even a few dishes with demon in them provided for the cannibals.

Vox had spent four hours making himself presentable in a fancy blue suit and a new screen protector. the other Vees had matched his style. So when the three stepped out of their high-tech car and got bombarded with paparazzi, it was clear that the three belonged together.

It isn't often that they had the chance to converse with other demons of their status. It was the perfect chance to make new connections.

Vox had gotten the chance with a few other demons before it happened. His eyes landed on the most beautiful person Vox had ever seen. Their looks hypnotized the tv-demon... Which was supposed to be HIS power.

"Hey Voxie, you never guess who I saw~... Voxie? Vox... VOX!" No matter how hard Valentino tried, he wasn't able to capture Vox's attention. "What are you looking at?..." Following his colleague's line of sight, Val's eyes landed on them too. "Oooohhh, I see~ Should I go talk to them for you, maybe I can convince them to stay the night in our bed."

Vox slightly buffered. "What! NO! I'm going myself, yeah, I can handle this myself."

Y/n was enjoying a lovely tea sandwich with raw, demon heart on it, when a person they didn't recognize came up to them.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." The man with a tv for a head grabbed their hand and placed a kiss on their hand. "I'm Vox, and you are?"

"Y/n, and it's a pleasure to meet you too," they introduced themselves before shoving another tea sandwich in their mouth.

"You must really like those sandwiches."

Y/n aggressively nodded her head. "YES! Here try one!" they shoved one of them in Vox's face who reluctantly eat it.

"Wow, that's... an unique flavour."

"Yeah, heart does taste very peculiar but I like it."

It put Vox off that the demon had spoken so casually about cannibalism, however, he was even more put off that he was just fed ACTUAL DEMON. So, when they weren't looking, he drank an entire glass of champagne in one go, hoping to wash off the taste.

"Anyway... I was hoping to dance with you." Vox offered out his hand but pulled it away again when he saw the dissapointment in their face.

"I would love too but I don't think my father would be happy to see me dancing with anyone. I'm sorry."

He thought about it for a few seconds. "Y'know I'm quite familiar with this place, there is a smaller ballroom a few doors down. If you want to, you could take me up on the offer there." The overlord suggested.

Normally, Y/n would've never said yes. Going to an empty room with a stranger who must have quite a lot of power. Only an idiot would follow him... Maybe they were a bit of an idiot but Y/n was intrigued by the man, so much so that they decided to go.

"Alright."

Hours went by while the two of them danced, talked and drank in the empty ballroom. Y/n felt themself falling deeper and deeper in love with the handsome stranger. The confident way he spoke, the way he buffered and glitched whenever he got flustered, the way he would get angry when they hurt his pride by laughing at his attempts to woo them. He was perfect.

"Now, tell me Vox. Who exactly are you? Like, I know you your name but you must have been invited for a reason, so...??" Y/n asked.

"You mean you really don't recognize me?" Vox asked flabbergasted. "I'm the CEO of VoxTech." The other demon still looked confused. "The biggest tech company of hell? We release new products almost every single day."

"I'm not big on modern technology, I died during the 1920's," Y/n explained, "I tried using a computer once and it didn't go well."

"Well, that's really no good. As a demon of high society, you should keep up with modern invention, if you ever want the help I don't mind teaching you how to use it." Vox stared at them lovingly. "You know what, I'll even give you a phone. Give your address and I'll send you on-"

"HEY! Vox!" A girl with pink and purple hair walked in. She wore a poofy pink dress and her face was covered in make-up. Her bloodshot red eyes landed on the person standing next to her friend. "Oooeeehhh, and who are you?"

"Velvette, Y/n. Y/n, Velvette." Vox introduced them to each other. "They have been great company tonight, right love?" He caressed the side of their face."

Y/n got redder and redder as the conversation went on. "Yeah, it was great."

"Well, sorry that I gotta burst your bubble." Velvette interrupted the sweet moment between the two. "But the Carmines are about to have their speech and you know how pissy those old fuckers get about shit like this."

Y/n looked at the clock hanging on the wall and realised they had been gone from the party for hours. "Yeah, I should really be going back too. My father is provably worried about me."

The three swiftly made their way back to the main ballroom, Velvette joking about the two lovebirds the whole time.

Once there, they gathered by the crowd standing around a podium. Carmilla was standing there, already holding her speech about the start of her company, the amazing growth and the future. Although a very basic speech, demons were at the fact that the Carmine had mentioned future dealings and couldn't wait for the opportunity to become a part of them. One of them seemed to be the handsome TV Demon that Y/n had hopelessly fallen in love with over the course of the evening.

"Excited I see," Y/n said while pointing to the electricity coming off of Vox, "I'm not sure that a deal with Carmilla is going to happen if you electrocuted her."

"Hey! I'm a great negotiator. Thank you very much!" The man joked.

Alastor had kept his child in his sight the whole evening.... Until he didn’t. They were right over by the buffet table just a second ago. Y/n couldn’t have gone far. So, he went on a search, but after an hour, he found nothing. He even asked Rosie for help but no luck. He had stayed looking until Carmilla started her speech and even then Alastor still kept an eye open for her.

What he never expected to see, was his child, his lovely, well-behaved, miracle of a child, to be joking around with his nemesis. And were they.... Blushing?

Static filled the air around him, symbols floated around his head. The terrifying shadow of his ever-growing antlers made every demon and demoness run out of his way.

Once he got really close he could hear their conversation.

"You're such a dork!" His child laughed.

Alastor could only see their back, but he knew what their smile looked like right now. Unlike his plastered smile that hid his emotions, Y/n's was genuine.

"I'm the dork? Have you se-" Vox's eyes drifted to the strange red symbols, when he noticed Alastor standing there. A small x on his forehead, eyes like dials and his smile wide.

Normally, during their fights Alastor would be somewhat lenient with him. He still roasted Vox to the living world and back but he never outright tried to murder him. This meant that he had never experienced the true wrath of the Radio Demon. But right in that moment, Vox felt like his days were numbered.

"Holy shit," Velvette muttered.

Noticing the two Vees were looking behind them, Y/n turned around and as soon as they did, Alastor switched back to normal like clockwork.

"Oh, hey dad!" Y/n greeted him sweetly. "What are you doing?"

"Oh nothing, little fawn," the Radio Demon spoke, distain clear in his tone of voice, "now tell me, why are you wasting your time conversing with such vermin? Especially, a styleless one like that insecure, copycat, picture box."

Vox was still staring between the two of them. Y/n was Alastor's child! The one the Radio host always talks about, the only thing that freak actually seems to care about. Why did it have to be them the overlord had fallen in love with at that ball?

"You are the Radio Demons child!" The man freaked out.

"I didn't think you would care about that..." Y/n's face turned into a frown, unlike their father’s whose grin only grew wider.

"I-I" The tv started buffering. " I don't..."

"Come one Y/n, let's find someone with more class." Alastor turned around, his child in toe.

"Wow, can't believe you got the hots for that man's child." Velvette quickly snapped a picture of Vox's stunned face and send it to Valentino. You'll never guess what happened. She typed under it.

Y/n looked down at their shoes, not wanting to see their father's victorious grin. "I can't believe you just did that."

"Whatever do you mean, little fawn?"

"You know what," they replied sounding angry this time, "why did you scare away the first real people I made friends with here in hell?!"

Y/n had never had an attitude before, never talked back, never even sounded annoyed. It scared Alastor for a few seconds. "That... Vox isn't the type of person you should make friends with'."

"Isn't that for me to decide?" Tears filled their eyes and their voice was strained. "I want to go home."

Once home, Y/n attempted to rush up the stairs but was stopped by Alastor’s shadow grabbing them by the arm. They were struggling to get away when Alastor cupped their face with his hands and looked suspiciously in their eyes. He was searching for something.

"Let go of me!" Their eyes glowed as they screamed.

When Y/n tried to pull away again, Alastor's grip tightened. "You've never acted like this before. He must have hypnotised you, so be a doll and let me find his spell!"

But no matter how much he searched for even a sign of demonic manipulation. Did Vox not hypnotize them? Then why were they.... Because of Alastor's second of confusion, Y/n could quickly pull away. They rushed up to their room and locked the door.

Alastor just stood there, stunned until a knock came from the door. He straightened his suit before opening it.

"Hi Alastor, I saw you two... Leave and thought you might need a listening-ear." Rosie stepped inside and made her way to the dining room. "Besides I could really use a cup of thee after such a long night."

"You know me too well, Rosie. I'll get some snacks too."

"They've never even raised their voice at me before but one hour with that noisy rectangle and Y/n is acting like a rebelious teen." Alastor took a bite from the index finger snack. "I tried to look for a sign of hypnosis but there was nothing. What did he do to them?"

"Ever thought about it that Vox didn't do anything?" Rosie suggested.

Alastor's pupils turned into dials. "Hmm? What did you just say?"

"Ya have to think about this differently." Rosie took a sip from her tea. "A demon always buried in their books with little to no interaction with the outside world goes out for the first time in years and meets a charming man who's interested in them. It's just like one those romance tropes they always reads about."

The other overlord considered it. "Then what do you suggest we do about it. How can I show them that they deserve much better?"

"First of all, have a conversation with them. A genuine one."

"And then?"

Rosie's smile showed her sharp teeth. "Then-"

Vox was still buffering from that crazy night. He fell in love with ALASTOR'S CHILD, for god's sake. He was connected to his advanced computer, rebooting his systems. Images of Y/n, memories he saved in his files, flashed over the many monitors in his room. The doors to his office opened revealing the other two Vees.

"Damn, Voxie. You've never had to reboot after we've 'hang out' before." Valentino leaned over his colleague's shoulder. "You aren't going to demote me from being your favourite, right?"

"I wouldn't sound so confident Val. Vox was pretty hooked last night, you should've seen him." Velvette pulled up the picture she took. "This photo doesn't do his obsession justice."

"Stop it, Velvette." The TV Demon unplugged himself from the computer set-up. "It's never going to work out anyway. And it's all that shitty, old demon's fault!"

"You really think that?" Velvette asked. "I mean, they looked pretty interested to me... You could always go over to them and explain yourself. Oh and while you're there, try to find a snoop that'll make my drama Sinstagram go viral."

"Voxie doesn't need them. Just stay with me and I'll make you forget them in just five minutes." The moth demon's cigarette smoke formed a heart.

The screen buffered once more. "Get out! The both of you."

"I'll wait in my room." The two Vees made their way out.

Once he was sure they were gone, Vox pulled up another file. Y/n's beautiful face showed on the screen and their addicting laugh filled the room.

Y/n sat against their door, crying. They could see the moon through the balcony window. It's red light filled the room. They couldn't believe their father had reacted like that. And they couldn't get the face Vox made when he released their connection to the Radio Demon out of their head. It plagued their mind since the moment it happened.

Their room seemed so small, so empty, so cold. Nothing had physically changed but mentally, emotionally, everything was different. They got a taste of that beautiful romance and it was taking away from them in the blink of an eye.

Y/n was so deep in their self-pity that they didn't notice the moonlight was blocked by something. They were jolted out of their own thoughts by a knock on the window.

Looking up they saw none other than Vox standing there. His suit was covered in dirt and branches that he got certainly caught in on his way there.

They quickly walked over to open the door, stumbling on their way.

"Y/n, I- uhm, you must find it weird that I show up on you balcony like this." Vox's screen got slightly red. "I wanted to apologize for this evening. I don't care who your father is, I- uhm I care about you."

"Vox, I need you to be honest with me. Did you hypnotize me?"

Y/n's sad look broke his heart. Who got into their head that he hypnotized them?

"Y/n, I didn't and I will never do it." He put his hand on their cheek. "I promise."

Blush decorated their face. "Then can you tell me what's going on between you and my dad?"

"Of course."

The two sat on their bed, cuddling. Vox had told them about everything. The start of their feud, his constant fighting with Alastor but also the fact that he fell in love with them at first sight. It was a lovely, domestic moment.

"One time I got so angry at your dad that I made a complete smear campaign against him. it didn't work out, he completely cut off all my broadcasts, all seventy channels."

"I think he once told me about that," Y/n laughed, "you get more under his skin then you think. Even before he saw he two of us together."

"If you say so..."

Their banter went on for hours. The two did their best to keep sounds to a minimum so Alastor wouldn't find out.

"Oh, before I leave, here." Vox handed them a white box. "it's a phone. I made sure to remove all spying devices and I programmed you a special assistant. It should help you figuring out how it works."

"You put spying devices in people's phones?"

"Uh-I"

"Don't worry, I get it. It's hell. There is no need to explain yourself."

"Right." Vox tried to laugh it off like Y/n was doing. "It's getting late, I should go. Wouldn't want the Radio Demon to know I'm meeting up with his daughter without a chaperone."

This time when Y/n was separated from Vox, they felt fine. Because they knew that he loved them. They were still longing for him, but not in a sad way. It was pure, romantic love.

Part 2

Masterlist/request guidelines

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel vox x reader #hazbin vox #vox x reader #vox x you #hazbin

[thatscarletflycatcher]

"I do not wish to call you my friend because I hope to call you something infinitely more dear... I rode through the rain... I'd ride through worse than that if I could just hear your voice telling me that I might at least have some chance to win you... maybe it is our imperfections that make us perfect for one another. Marry me? Marry me, my wonderful, darling friend."

"But you... you were not deceived, were you? You held to what you knew in your heart. Constant, constant as the rain! What should I do if you should ever go away? My dearest Fanny."

"Fanny, I must confess something. I have loved you all my life... as a man loves a woman, as a hero loves a heroine, as I have never loved anyone in my entire life. I was so anxious to do what is right, that I forgot to do what is right. But if you choose me, after all my blundering and blindness, that will be a happiness which no description could reach."

"I would have to tell you, you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on"

"First, I must tell you that I have been the most unmitigated and comprehensive ass."

"Oh, Elinor, I have longed for this moment from the instant of our first meeting, dear, dear Elinor. Would you... could you possibly... How could anyone help to love you?"

"I have come here with no expectations, only to profess, now that I am at liberty to do so, that my heart is, and always will be, yours."

"Miss Dashwood, Elinor, I came here with no expectation, after everything that has happened you have every right to turn me away this instant. But I cannot leave here without conveying the intensity of my feelings for you... Every day since I first saw you, my love for you has grown. Elinor, I have no right to hope, but I must ask: can you forgive me? Can you love me? Will you marry me?"

"I told him that I felt myself bound to you, by honor, by affection, and by a love so strong, that nothing he could do could deter me from... Before I go on I should tell you there is a pretty good chance he'll disinherit me. I fear I may never be a rich man, Catherine. Will you marry me, Catherine?"

"Miss Morland... don't be afraid. I promise not to oppress you with too much remorse, or too much passion. Though since you left us, the white rose bush has died of grief. Catherine, are you still a disgrace to your sex? Does your face express all that your heart feels, or may I hope that it holds a secret? You know that I do not need my father's permission to marry you."

#Jane austen #pride and prejudice #sense and sensibility #Mansfield Park #Northanger Abbey #Emma #did I make this mainly for the punchline of the last option? #yes

[escha-evenstar]

Mafia AU Series

Chapter 4: Can't We At Least Try?

Pairing: Mafia!Azul x F!Reader

Word Count: 1.3K

CW: minor angst, I guess?

A/N:

Hi hi! I am back and still alive!! I'm feeling a bit sick but I'm slowly getting better! I just heal slowly 🥺 I hope you guys are faring better than me. Anyways, it's been a while since I wrote something and I'm glad I finished this! Looking forward to writing the next part because I plan to put more romance hehehe 👀

Divider by @cafekitsune

The following night came too quickly for Azul. He paced around the front of the cabin, walking back and forth incessantly, while being drowned in his thoughts.

How do I tell her? Should I beat around the bush? Or just tell her directly? What would she say? How will she react? Will she.. will she still see me as the same?

He suddenly stopped pacing around. A sigh escaped his lips as he feared that his nightly escapades with you would cease, and that he wouldn't see you anymore.

Azul was completely lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice you have already arrived. You noticed how still he stood, an arm crossed across his chest and his chin with between his fingers. His serious expression showed how deep he was in his thoughts. You gave him a few pokes on his shoulder and he jumped at the sudden contact.

"Ah!" Azul yelped.

You giggled at his surprised face. "Hehe~ You seem to be thinking about something pretty hard. What is it?"

"Oh. Uhm- Y/N, I.." he trailed off.

Azul considered himself to be a smooth talker, yet currently the words were caught in his throat. He couldn't even speak a single sentence.

"Oh wait! Before I forget," you trailed off as you showed him a small bag. "There are cookies inside! I wanted to share it with you and the twins, though I haven't seen them around yet. Are they busy? Let's go take a seat!"

You grabbed his hand and led him to the bench on the porch. The two of you took a seat beside each other and you placed the bag of cookies on your lap, opening it.

"Jade and Floyd are currently.. occupied with something. So they're not here today. Also, you know I'm still doing my diet, right?"

"Of course I do! But a little snack won't hurt you. Please? I'd feel lonely if I have to eat by myself," you pleaded with a pout.

Ah. Why do you have to look so cute?

"...fine. Maybe just a little," Azul sighed, giving in to you.

You cheered happily as you each grabbed a cookie and ate together.

"So, what was it you were thinking about earlier?" You asked while munching on the cookie, looking at him curiously.

Azul swallowed the chewed piece of baked dessert as his blue eyes stared at the lake in front.

"Y/N, what do you think of me?" He asked.

"Hm? Why do you ask?" You said while your eyes blinked in confusion.

"Just because. So?" He shifted his gaze to look at you.

"Well, uhm, I think you're very... sweet," you said bashfully. A pink blush dusted your cheeks and your eyes darted to and away from his eyes.

"Sweet? Me?" He was stunned. Azul could describe himself a lot of things. Smart. Cunning. Dangerous. But sweet? Really?

"Mhm!" You hummed and giggled at his astounded look. "You're always here for me. You listen to me, take care of me, and as you said before, you make exceptions for me. You're a very sweet person Azul, and I feel very happy because of you, so thank you!"

Azul saw your pretty smile and he instantly found himself blushing from your honest words and lovely expression as his heart pounded faster. He averted his eyes and quickly moved his hand to his face, partially covering the pinkish hue on his cheeks.

"I see." He wasn't sure how to respond to such genuine praises and compliments, especially coming from you. You made him a flustered mess inside.

You were so kind and pure. Honest and sweet. A bundle of joy and sunshine in his dark and cold world. Suddenly, the more Azul thought about you, the more he grew afraid. Thoughts that being with him would cause you hurt and pain in the future. It was dangerous to be with someone like him. He didn't like the idea, but maybe...

Maybe I should just let you go.

Azul shifted his position as he hunched his back, elbows rested against his thighs and hands clasped together by his mouth. "Y/N. What if there was more to me than just this.. sweet person you know?"

"What do you mean?" You said, confused by his question and sudden seriousness.

"What if I'm not who you think I am?" He continued to ask you questions that didn't make any sense to you.

You tilted your head to the side, growing even more befuddled. "I don't understand. What are you saying, Zul?"

Azul sighed deeply before slowly turning his head to look at you. "Y/N, I'm part of the Mafia."

Silence filled the air of the night. You tried to say something. Anything! But your mouth couldn't utter a single word. Lips parted to try and speak, only to close again when no words came out. You were completely taken aback by his words as your e/c eyes continued to stare back at his own blue ones. A few more seconds passed before you were able to say something.

"..okay," you said slowly, though the bewildered look in your eyes was still present.

"Okay? Y/N. I'm being completely serious here. I'm with the Mafia, and that's a fact we can't change." He sighed once more as he casted his gaze downward to the floor. "I don't think we should see each other anymore."

"What..?" You said in disbelief as his words pierced right through your heart.

"I said that we should stop seeing each other. This was a mistake, Y/N. I never should have gotten you involved with me. I—"

"Don't say that!" You shouted. "You.. you don't mean that. I- I don't care if you're part of the Mafia. But don't say that this was a mistake!"

Tears flowed down the corner of your eyes and it hurt Azul to see you like that.

I'm sorry, but I'm doing this for your own good.

"Y/N, please—"

You immediately wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face on his chest. The cookies previously sitting on your lap now lay on the floorboard, but you couldn't care less.

"Please don't say goodbye. Please don't say you'll leave me," you cried.

You're breaking up my walls. Stop this.

"You might get hurt because of me. There are dozens of people out there for you to meet. I'm sure your mother isn't going to forever keep you in your house and—"

"I don't want to if I'm not seeing you anymore. I don't care about meeting new people. I don't care if I can't see the outside world. I don't want to let you go."

No. Don't say that. Stop.

"You're acting like a spoiled child. I'm doing this for you."

"I don't care if I'm spoiled. You can call me selfish but I'm not letting you go." To put emphasis on your words, you hugged him even tighter.

"Y/N. Let. Go." Azul was getting frustrated as he tried to push you away. Unfortunately for him, you wouldn't budge.

"No." You only buried yourself deeper in his chest as you continued to cry.

Why must you be so difficult?

"I said. Let. Go."

"NO!!"

"Why are you being so stubborn?!"

"I'm not stubborn! You are!!"

Azul let out an exasperated sigh. He was getting nowhere with you. It's not like he wanted this either.

"Why are you being like this? I don't like this either, you know?"

"Then let's stay together." You lifted yourself from his chest and looked at him through teary eyes. "Don't let go. We'll.. figure something out."

If you keep being like this, I might just get selfish with you.

"I- I don't know exactly what you do, but I believe you're not as bad as you think you are. And, if ever we come to a dangerous situation, then we'll protect each other. We can do that, right?"

"It's not as easy as it sounds."

"I know that, but.. can't we at least try?" Your voice quavered and your eyes were puffy from shedding so much tears.

And just like that, Azul was done for. His walls crumbled and crashed down, and he immediately wrapped his arms around you. Tightly. Not wanting to let go.

I guess I just can't let you go after all.

Did you like my work? If you did, you can check out my blog for more! ^^

Masterlist here!

Thank you for reading! 🩷💜

Taglist: @lucid-stories @triforce-holder

#escha writes🩷 #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader

[transmascissues]

hey, sorry idk if its ok for me to ask for advice here, but im really lost and dont know where else to go.

i might be starting testosterone really soon, (via informed consent) but i keep flipping back and forth on whether or not i'm sure i want it. some days i think, "yes 100% im a man i want T right now" and thinking abt the effects of T makes me euphoric. other days i think, "wait AM i sure tho? what if it turns out i hate it actually" and thinking abt the effects of T on those days makes me anxious and ambivalent.

i think it might be just a fear of change, but i'm not sure, and i'm worried about making a decision i'll regret forever. it doesnt help i keep seeing ppl say things like "you need to be 100% sure you want hrt before u start because going back and forth puts a huge strain on the body" etc, but i dont know if i ever will be 100% sure.

what do you make of this? do i really need to be 100% sure? am i rushing in too fast? or is this just anxiety talking?

i spent years agonizing over if i was really sure that i wanted to start t, and you know what it taught me?

no one is ever 100% sure about anything. it’s an impossible task. that’s just not how people work — you’re always going to find more things to be anxious or unsure about when you think about it because it’s an unknown thing and it’s completely natural to be at least a little unsure of unknown things.

and most of the time, nobody expects you to be 100% sure about big decisions because we all know it’s an unfair expectation. nobody told me i couldn’t go to college because i wasn’t 100% sure where i wanted to go. nobody tells you to never drive anywhere because you’re not 100% sure that the car won’t crash. accepting risk is a part of life. trusting ourselves to make the best decisions we can — and trusting ourselves to be able to handle whatever happens next — is an unavoidable part of life.

the only reason we’re held to that impossible standard of 100% certainty when it comes to medically transitioning is because people are transphobic and they want us to second guess ourselves and put off hormones or surgery out of fear. if everyone waited until they were 100% sure, no one would ever transition, and that’s exactly what they want.

i look at it like this: hormones are like any other medication. you take them because you decide they have a good shot at making your life better even though there’s also a chance they might be ineffective, have bad side effects, or even make things worse in the end. we accept that risk every time we take a medication because we weigh the options and decide the good that could come of them is worth that risk. imagine if doctors only offered medical care to people when they were 100% sure it would work and not have any side effects — they would never do anything at all!

i can’t tell you if hrt is right for you. i can’t tell you if the risk is worth it for you. what i can tell you is that, when i was unsure about what to do, there were two things that made me decide it was worth the risk:

the first is that i knew i wanted to give myself a chance. the idea of going on hormones only to get more dysphoria from it sounded terrifying, but the reality was that i was already living with dysphoria! and the idea of just accepting that because i was afraid to try the thing that could make it better was even more terrifying. at the end of the day, i decided it was better to choose the option that could make things better than it was to just spend the rest of my life wondering if it would’ve helped. the worst case scenario in both choices is dysphoria, so i figured, why not pick the option where the best case scenario is euphoria? i know dysphoria is something i can live with because i’ve been doing it for years, so i felt that i could trust myself to be able to deal with that outcome if it came. i knew it was possible that i would regret it and wish i had never started t, but i also knew i would regret it even more if i went my whole life never having given myself a chance at something better than the dysphoria i already live with. i figured, if i have to take a risk, why not take the one that excites me instead of the one i would just be taking out of fear?

the second is that hormones are fucking slow. there can be some changes that happen fast but for the most part, the changes on t take time to happen fully, and if i wanted even more time i knew i could take a lower dose to slow things down further. it’s not like you just wake up one day with a totally different body — it’s a process, and if at any point in that process you realize you don’t like what’s happening, you can stop! you’re completely in control; the second it starts to feel like it’s making something worse instead of better, you can decide to stop taking it. even with the changes that came quickest for me, i had time to assess as they started happening, and it would’ve been as simple as putting down the syringe and never using it again if i decided i didn’t want those changes to continue.

(and the people who say you can’t start and stop because of the strain on your body are exaggerating — i had to start and stop multiple times because i was having allergic reactions to all of the serums we tried, and i was totally fine. that was never even a concern my nurse brought up to me. i’m sure it’s not ideal to do that constantly, but i don’t think it’s a big thing you have to worry about.)

again, i can’t tell you if starting t is the right move for you. all of this is just how i made that decision for myself; i can’t make yours for you. what i can tell you is that you are more than capable of making a thoughtful and informed decision without being 100% sure. certainty is not a requirement.

and frankly, anyone who tells you they were 100% sure when they made that decision is either lying about it because they feel like they should’ve been totally certain, or they were in a position to make the decision so quickly that it didn’t leave time to mull things over and find things to be unsure of.

which leads me to my final point: if you’re thinking about it this hard and trying to be this meticulous about making the right decision, you’re absolutely not rushing into it. whatever decision you make, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and that’s all anyone can ask of you.

this is your decision, not anyone else’s, and already you have everything you need to make the best decision you possibly can. trust yourself to choose wisely, and trust yourself to be able to handle whatever your choice brings. you got this.

#this ended up much longer than i intended but i have a lot to say about it bc i was in the same place a couple years ago #ask answered #trans men #transmascs #hrt #testosterone

[dragonfly0808]

Flora: The Thesis

I had a feeling Flora would win, I’ve put my girlie through a lot, let’s do this!

THERE WILL BE MAJOR SPOILERS AFTER THE FIRST THINGS FIRST PORTION, IF YOU HAVEN’T MADE IT TILL CHAPTER 17 OF SEASON 3 (They Live in Spain but the S is Silent) DO NOT READ PAST THE FIRST SECTION

I’M SERIOUS, MAJOR FUCKING SPOILERS FOR FLORA’S CHARACTER ARC/PLOT POINTS AFTER THAT PART

First Things First

The first words that I wrote on Flora’s character sheet to sum up her character was in the OG are: kind, gentle mom-friend.

To me Flora in the original was kind of a breath of fresh air, seeing a soft girl get to also be a fighter was awesome (even if I feel like she was the one that was most often knocked out/down, cue the 84 times Flora nearly died compilation videos)

But… she was also a lot of wasted potential since I feel like she never really got her own storylines, or at least nothing interesting and her powers were never explored beyond plants despite being a fairy of nature, not plants.

Also, I found it weird that they just… dropped her love for making potions after season 1 or 2. Like… for what?

Those are a few of the grievances that I wanted to try and make better in my rewrite. Also, Flora was always my fave so I wanted to give her the attention she was deprived of (though, I reiterate, I do really try to pay attention to all 6 girls and, for the most part, am successful, but Flora will occasionally get just a little more attention)

Flora’s main character traits towards the beginning of the rewrite are: gentle, unsure and kind.

The first time we see Flora in the rewrite, she is seen to be very kind and maybe even a tiny bit conformational, quickly telling Bloom that she’ll switch sides and move plants if she wants her to.

She doesn’t really know how to put her foot down, she’ll be working on it but not truly implementing it until season 2.

I think a lot of people’s first impression of Flora would be that she’s a bit naive and even weak, that’s the thing with Flora.

Whilst her softness was forged in steel, it can deteer her from time to time and she easily feels guilty if she can’t make everyone happy. She has people pleaser tendencies that she’s working on.

I feel like in season 1 her softness walks a fine line between being a strength of hers and nearly being a weakness.

Being soft isn’t what what can be to her determent, it’s letting people cross her boundaries.

I also took her love for potions and ran with it, she is a potions prodigy and the teams main healer. She’s very dedicated to school and it shows in her work with potions.

Her main traits stay mostly the same over the seasons. There is still kindness and softness at her core, but overtime she is no longer unsure, she learns how to put her foot down and respect her own boundaries and really just stepping into her own and becoming more powerful and comfortable in her own skin.

She Doesn’t Succumb, She Overcomes

Flora grows a lot over the first 2 and a half seasons

One thing she overcomes, asides from learning to set boundaries and that she’s allowed to not forgive, she also overcomes a fear of being loved.

Flora has a lot of bad luck when it comes to people in her life fucking her over. Her biological father abandoned her and her mom and took all their resources with him, her first boyfriend assaulted her and then her first girlfriend Mirta breaks up with her to get back together with Lucy.

And then, in season 2, Bloom betrays her while being influenced by Darkar.

So… Flora is reasonably afraid when it comes to new people in her life. Especially people she falls for.

That’s where Helia came in. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In season 3, THIS IS WHERE THE MAJOR FUCKING SPOILERS COME IN TURN BACK RIGHT FUCKING NOW I DID NOT BREAK MY BRAIN FOR ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLOT POINTS IN THE REWRITE FOR YOU TO JUST SPOIL IT FOR YOURSELF THIS IS YOUR LAST FUCKING WARNING, Flora suffers a major setback in her journey due to two big events.

First off, Sky choses her to burn while under Valtor’s curse and then, her powers seem to morph into something that she cannot understand and that she is afraid of.

This sets her back when it comes to finally being comfortable in her own skin… literally and being more confident.

She is terrified that her friends will turn their backs on her again to take Sky’s side. This fear is quickly quenched by Bloom making it clear on who’s side she’d be on if it came down to it but it still obviously affects Flora and we still haven’t gotten the talk between her and Sky, because she is still not ready to face him properly

Her scars are a side effect of this betrayal and she still has a long way to go before being able to show them

The other set back is in her powers after gaining Enchantix, where all of a sudden, it is a lot harder to make things bloom and heal people and rotting and withering things comes a lot more naturally.

We’ve gotten a bit of an explanation during the Crystal Labyrinth as to why this is the case but she still has a lot to learn in s4 about her new powers.

Thoughts Behind her Main Relationships

Aisha: Aisha is her best friend, their friendship is one of softness and getting out of their comfort zones. It’s the extrovert/introvert balanced friendship that helps them both feel more comfortable in their own skin.

Their friendship is, ‘you’re my safe place. I see you and I breath a little easier. You know me so well I only have to lift an eyebrow and you know exactly what I mean.’

Their friendship is ‘we’ve both been through complete and utter loneliness and we’re both afraid of people leaving but when I’m with you it all just fades away because your heart and my heart are made of the same material. Your softness will always bring me comfort and you’re familiar in a way that makes me want to weep because of how safe I feel at your side’

Helia: These two are just… two people trying to heal from their respective pasts but… okay so, they are two people who’ve been through a lot and have already been on their journey to healing or a while now and know their triggers and what helps them and just find calm and safety with one another.

It’s, ‘we’re both pulling ourselves back together after the worst events of our lives and you make me feel like all of it will never drown me and I know that my soul has known your soul for a very long time.’

But… while they are both on their way to healing, they’re both still scared.

Flora is afraid of someone she falls for hurting her yet again. Helia is afraid of not being able to connect with people, of the people he loves not wanting him.

They find comfort in each other’s love.

In each other, they find understanding and safety. They help each other on their healing journeys.

They’ll never turn away from each other even on the bad days.

Riven: Riven and Flora are soulmates. I have no other word to describe their bond. Even soulmates doesn’t feel like it can fully encompass their bond and how important they are to one another.

They have similar fears and traumas, though they respond in wildly different ways. He can’t let himself be vulnerable, she can’t stand her ground. But they find each other and somehow, they start healing and growing together

Their bond is ‘there are people that you just have to meet in order to become the best version of yourself and I know that if I hadn’t met you I would never have been able to become my best self. There are people that just have something to teach you just by knowing them, there are people that love you so purely that you can do nothing but want to grow with them and teach each other so much just by existing together. And you know that if there are other lives, you’ve met them in every past life and will meet them in every future life because you own a piece of each others puzzles that you both need to complete yourselves.’

Their love is absolutely pure, I just love it and can’t quite find the words to describe just how special it is.

Who is Flora in this rewrite?

Flora is a girl who wasn’t born to be a heroine, who had plenty of excuses to be angry, who had plenty of reasons to lash out at the world. If it’d been anyone else, they might’ve turned out a villain.

But she doesn’t. She doesn’t allow her pain and trauma to be the things that define her. They are a big part of who she is, there is no denying that, but it’s not what made her. She made herself. She made the conscious decision time and time again to chose love and softness and kindness.

She’s someone who’s on the verge of being a doormat before we meet her in s1, and who is working since s1 to be better at setting boundaries, to turn her softness into one of her biggest strengths and not just a trait that occasionally bites her in the ass.

She’s someone who is growing into herself, leaning that, while she has to grow, she doesn’t have to change her main traits to be stronger. To be respected.

She’s exploring both her powers and her softness.

Flora is both one of the softest and the strongest characters in this rewrite. She learns that those two don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Flora is growth, not change. She doesn’t succumb, she overcomes. She’s not unscathed, but she is healing.

—————————-

Masterlist

Flora Moodboard

Flora’s Instagram

Flora and Aisha Moodboard

Flora and Helia Moodboard

Flora and Riven Moodboard

#winx club #winx rewrite #winx #winx headcannon #winx fanfic #winx headcanons #winx flora #winx headcannons #winx moodboard #winx headcanon #winx helia #flora x helia #helia x flora #winx club rewrite

[cassieuncaged]

The Return - Chapter 4

Making Nice

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Astarion x Reader, Astarion x Tav

Summary: A decade after the Absolute is defeated, Tav returns to Baldur's Gate for an anniversary gala. But now she's up against the most terrifying challenge yet: Seeing her ex.

TW: sexual tension, language, etc.

WC: 2.3K

AO3

Taglist: @im-just-a-simp-le-whore, @randomrubykitty, @ayselluna

“This is delightful,” Gale declared with regality, sipping at the rose hip and hibiscus tea that had been ordered. The suite featured a lacquered cherry wood table, large enough for two to dine. You grinned, noticing that the welt from hitting ground was disappearing from a tan brow.

A serrated knife carved off another piece of flank steak, enjoying the delicacy of nicely cooked meat. You could hardly afford anything nice back in Athkatla, always lacking enough money in the proclaimed ‘City of Coin’. But you had it better than most. A place to live, a job to go to…

Something .

“I shouldn’t reward a naughty wizard for arriving unannounced,” you giggled, enjoying the blush that rose up taut cheekbones. “I could’ve been doing anything.”

“I’m not that lucky,” His lips split in a smarmy grin before immediately regretting the comment. You, however, were thoroughly amused. This ongoing tete-a-tete with the ‘Wizard of Waterdeep’ had always been strangely delightful and charming. “When I got your message, I thought I’d just surprise you Especially since Wyll had provided certain details.”

“How generous of him,” the words were meant as a quip but came out rather bitter. You weren’t exactly thrilled with the fabled Blade of Frontiers at the moment. “Just as well, I think the bubbles covered everything.”

“Fair enough.” His blush had only started to fade once it roared back to life. “So, what is it you wanted to talk about, friend?”

“How long have you got?” blunt teeth tore into a bloody piece of meat as a large hand covered a much smaller one.

“As much time as you need.”

So, the entire story had been recounted, starting at the airport and unraveling to the shenanigans in the bathtub. After dinner had been finished, you had sprawled across the bed on your belly as Gale sat on the floor with his back propped up against the mattress. Several more mini bottles of bubbly had been consumed.

“Am I just the fucking worst or what?” You fiddled with the end of one honey tinted braid, hoping he wouldn’t answer that question. It had been rhetorical after all. You hadn’t even revealed the involvement with Raphael, another deal forged with the devil they all thought dead.

“The worst?” Gale sloshed the alcohol around in a glass flute, cognac eyes trying to find answers in the liquid. “Far from that, I’m afraid. Rather self-loathing and troubled is more like it. But then again so is Astarion. Rather thick skulls the two of you have as well.”

“I can take that.” You admitted, threading your fingers together atop a soft belly. “Though I did make a total ass of myself.”

“Well, there isn’t exactly any denying that,” Gale chuckled before a cushion was colliding with the side of his head, “Easy! Watch the prosecco!”

“I should just go to the department store and get a dress off the rack,” this was followed by a long sigh as you thought how underdressed you’d look at High Hall wearing a store-bought gown made of polyester and chiffon, “Besides, I have other shit to attend to.”

“Like what?” It was a fair question, one that couldn’t be answered. At least not truthfully.

“That’s rather personal.” 

“Is it? Nothing was off the table years earlier.” He sounded hurt by this revelation.

“That was different. We were all strangers on our own missions, out to save Toril: we had to trust each other to an extent.”

“With trust, this is always fear, Tavara.” The wizard sighed, clambering to loafered feet. He looked every bit Professor Dekarios. His students loved him, almost as much as Morena. Gale was a good man; but he was also a principled man of morals. What you’d gotten involved with, he wouldn’t understand.

The only one that would was the man who you were desperately in love with. The same one you ran away from. Whose soul was either equally bound to your own or equally damned.

“I’ll tell you soon,” lips were pressed together tightly after you spoke, watching as he nodded solemnly and cleaned his glasses on his sweater as you crawled to sit on the edge of the bed. “After the gala. I just don’t want you to think less of me.”

“Tav,” he smiled warmly, calloused fingers drifting up to rest beneath your chin. “That’s the last thing you need to worry about. Share when you think the time is right. I will strive to do whatever I can to assist. Sleep tonight and spend tomorrow doing something that you like. Everything will work out for the best.”

You plastered a smile to your lips as the portal re-emerged in the center of the room. Goodbyes were bid as he disappeared into his library once more. All you could do was groan before sinking back onto the bed.

How much longer did you truly have before Raphael owned you like a pet?

......

The bar was bustling when you’d finished performing. A sad rock ballad that was written years earlier, shortly after your arrival in Athkatla. It had earned you quite a few tips. Even one from a ghost. A man, a monster, you thought dead by your own hands.

Raphael dropped a soul coin in the jar with a clang, eyes never leaving your own. He settled back in the shadows as your fingers paused on taut strings, audience patiently awaiting the next verse.

You began to strum, to sing, to captivate. Gold and banknotes continued to flow like water from a tap, the illegal magic in your music assured that much. Though booking the gigs had been difficult enough. After all, you were competing to be seen in the city where everyone strived for that. To be seen. To be heard.

To be known.

Those words had fallen from Astarion’s lips once, when he seduced you to procure his own safety in a time of war, not expecting you to playfully stall the inevitable though he was certainly up to the challenge. The night flashed through your mind in splintered images, limbs tangled beneath the moonlight…

The lyrics that escaped your lips had been an ode to him, written between wracked sobs, composed from broken chords. Now, you were alone. Except for the heir of Mephistopheles. Soon, your voice trailed off, a sea of applause erupting as you grabbed your tips and moved to case the worn guitar.

“Miss me, little mouse?” His voice was deep and rich as red wine, dressed in a finely tailored suit paired with leather wingtips. Raphael was always a man of taste with a penchant for life’s fineries. “Or did you really think you could kill me? How foolish.”

“I saw your body,” your voice trembled in an attempt to remain calm. “Or whatever you called that monstrosity.”

“You aren’t stupid, Tavara.” He chided you like one chides a puppy dog for pissing on the carpet; you didn’t anger him. No, he was disappointed. “Not unlike that damnable hag, I’ll always come back.”

“What have you done with Hope? I promised to keep her safe.” You slung the guitar case over one shoulder. Dark eyes only rolled in amusement as the house lights flickered on. He looked exactly as he did when you’d been approached in the wilds outside Elturgard, years earlier.

“What a little benevolent mouse you are.” he sighed, “The embodiment of Hope remains in her home among the fires of Avernus whilst I’ve been evicted. I can’t exactly say that father was pleased at such a loss.”

“Good,” you goaded, already waiting for this conversation to turn dark. “Can’t say I much trust an archdevil with Hope.”

“Even you understand the symbiosis of archdevils and devils alike,” his voice was stern now, growing frustrated by your indignation. “You need us to exist, to balance everything out.”

“Get on with it, Raphael. Or I’ll have your tongue.”

“Not that it’s anywhere as useful as yours, conning your audience out of their money.” He scoffed, looking down his nose at you.

“What do you want?” you hissed, hoping no one overheard. Especially considering the use of magic was a criminal offense in city limits.

“Everything that is rightfully mine. Avernus, Cania. All of it. A preconceived notion that you stole from me.” Raphael was entitled, a petulant child that craved all the candy in the shop. If it existed, he wanted it. All of it.

“Why would I ever help you?” You spat with all the vitriol that could mustered.

“Because I can restore something you lost long ago, something carelessly abandoned. “Love. Something even Yelmys can’t offer.”

“What?” You played dumb, pretending you didn’t understand. Hearing the name of the politician you were blackmailing didn’t help either. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Raphael tutted, watching as you chewed your bottom lip nervously. Could he really bring back the love of the man you wanted more than anything?

There was no choice but to find out.

......

Astarion had always found the museum of art to be rather kitsch. The impressionist paintings of melting clocks or abstract vulva sculpture did very little for him. He’d seen centuries worth of the arts and thought it had certainly deteriorated over the years.

Though he expected she’d be here, settled in front of that painting that he despised. A work of oil paints, a couple embracing in front of a wall of fire. Tav loved the tragically romantic, the idea of holding a lover at death’s door.

Eyes rolling at thought, as one hand swiftly pushed glasses up into a nest of silvery curls. The walls were a deep maroon, lights brights as he navigated a gauche maze of the overrated and unappealing. He preferred indie galleries, where swanky parties were held for opening exhibits.

Tav sat exactly where he expected to find her, wearing a baggy black sweater and leggings that matched the wall paper, hair tightly wound into twin braids and buns as usual. Motes of dust hung in the air beneath the light illuminating the painting. He’d wondered how long she’d been there already. It was a favorite pastime to clear a troubled mind.

His boots clicked across the buffed tile as he moved to sit beside her, adjusting the loose cardigan draped over a v-neck tshirt. Violet eyes, however, remained glued on the canvas. If it was an attempt to ignore him, it was working though her nose twitched at the scent of a musky cologne. Dusky pink lips curled into a smirk as her heart skipped a frantic beat.

How delightful.

“What are you thinking?” His eyes settled on the painted couple, the woman clutching desperately at the chest of the man’s doublet as he held her. Her raven hair was wild in the wind, his auburn curls taut and wiry. 

Are you thinking of me?

“Mostly wondering how to untangle the past,” she sighed, gaze still frozen ahead. “How to fix it, make sense of everything.”

“Concerning us?” It hadn’t occurred to him until how close they were in proximity, shoulders brushing against one another. “Or something else?”

“A little of column a, a little of column b.” A smile ghosted across her lips before disappearing drearily.

“Gods, you’re so obtuse,” he nudged her playfully, wanting any reaction. Plum painted lips curled downward instead. “Would you like to come over for a fitting?”

“What?” This was the first time she turned to address him, suspicion etched across soft features. “You’re sewing a dress for me? After I made an absolute fool out of myself?”

“It isn’t because I’m charitable,” eyes as dark as wet rubies bore into her own, “Wyll may or may have covered the charges.”

“He didn’t need to do that.” She mulled over the thought for a moment, chewing the tip of her tongue. “Though I won’t question it. Especially after he and Kar attempted to play matchmaker.”

“A decade has passed. I think we’ve both moved on.”

Neither had, that fact hanging plainly in the air.

“They didn’t get the message.” Tav joked dourly, dimpled divots appearing beneath the apple of each cheek. She was cherubic in nature, often making the vampire think she was a fallen angel or even an aasimar. “What day should I stop by?”

“Why not Monday afternoon?” he added a little too quickly, already wanting an excuse to see her again. Besides, Evie was supposed to be away that day. “It’ll give me time to make alterations and add finishing touches on Sunday night. It’ll be perfect.”

“Thank you,” his gaze dropped between them, hand awkwardly squeezing the dip of her elbow. “I’m sorry. About before.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Dark eyes lingered on a rosy hand, remembering how nicely it folded into his own. How she practically melted his cool exterior, like throwing ice in a fire. He’d grown to appreciate it, missing such a sensation that had been unexpectedly stolen. Tearing his eyes away, he saw the time on his wristwatch. “ Shit , I have a meeting with a potential client at their penthouse.”

“Now?” Tav watched with piqued interest as he jumped up, doing the same. “When?”

“Twenty minutes from now. Uptown. I can make it if I hail a cab.” He gingerly took her hand in his, bringing it up to lush lips she desperately wished were pressed against her own. “It was good to see you. Today and yesterday, even if we did have a row. I’ll see you Monday?”

“Of course,” her smile was wistful, though Astarion didn’t notice, turning on his heel. He didn’t know about the deal she made or the words she swallowed. Something that would make him livid, angry and snarling like a rabid dog. An absolute bombshell that was bound to splinter their relationship further yet.

#bg3 #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion x you #reader insert #sorcerer tav #bard tav #multiclass #fanfiction #modern au

[sapphic-woes]

It's Halloween. Vampire!Ambessa.

To serve your vampire queen Ambessa is considered the greatest honor. You were chosen out of thousands to be one of her delicacies, and you couldn't be more proud.

However, first you had to prepare. You were the newest of a handful of ladies chosen to serve the queen as her living meals and treats. To keep up with your queen's...demands, you had to be perfect.

For months you are given the sweetest fruits and richest meat, overall a surplus of nutrients. Your blood would eventually nourish, so you had to be nourished–and everyday, you dined as a king would.

You had to be healthy when served to Ambessa, fit unlike anyone else in your kingdom. You were made to train with the other delicacies as if you were her personal dancer rather than food, drilled until you are the pinnacle of good health.

Delicacies had to be enticing, and so being pampered was a given. You were provided a whole team of people dedicated to making sure your individual beauty shined. You were given expensive and grueling beauty sessions regularly, until you found yourself absolutely stunning.

Of course, you had to dress the part. Your clothes provided easy access to your queen's preferred points of feasting. You smelled of lilac and honey, sweet so that your queen always had a pleasant feeding experience.

Now, after ages of work, you are ready.

The queen liked to have each new delicacy individually in the beginning. You would attend to her every craving for the first week, alone. Ambessa did this to ease each new delicacy into their new role, and feel comfortable with her sooner rather than later.

So, with an anxious mind, you went to answer the call of your queen for the first time.

"Enter." You stepped into the dark room with a tiny swallow. You stood at the door, flinching when it slammed shut behind you. For ages you had thought of this moment and what you would do before your queen. You knew what you were supposed to do at least, knees sinking onto the floor as you bowed until your forehead touched the ground.

"My queen, might I offer myself to you today?" It was only for a beat of time, yet it felt like eons before a deep voice responded.

"You may." Thank the gods.

You rose, finally able to look at the shadow of your queen. Ambessa was hard to see in the darkness around you. She was but a haunting silhouette of intimidating power, red eyes gleaming as she watched your every move. The shape of her head tilted, regarding you.

"Poor thing, you're shaking." Were you? You looked down at your hands, gasping when you noticed your fingers quivering. Crap, you were!

"I-I apologize my–"

"Hush, it is the first time. Fear is to be expected." The bed creaked as Ambessa moved, coming out of the dark space she sat in to let the moonlight reveal her face. You sucked in a sharp breath, heart skipping a beat.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, my dear. Now...come. Are you not eager to show me all you've learned?" She is...a beauty.

You knew she was large, most vampires were, but she was bigger than any you'd seen before. Her body was vast, littered with scars of battle and war. As you came closer, you couldn't help but flush at her nakedness, and the blood rushing to your face only enticed her more. Her plush red lips spread to reveal her fangs, and she smiled, raising an eyebrow as she murmured.

"Blushing already?" The attention had your rouge cheeks darkening, and Ambessa laughed. She reached out to you, but only to offer her hand, claws glistening like crystals. "If mere gazing is enough to do this, how will you survive the night?"

"Forgive me, my queen." You whispered, taking her hand to brush your lips against her rough knuckles, "but this is the first I have ever seen of you. I am but a commoner from the countryside, and..." Ambessa hummed, large palms shifting to pull you into her lap.

"And?" Now, you could feel the vibration of her voice as she spoke. Sitting upon her healthy thighs made your stomach twist, the cold skin tingling against your heat. Your eyes shamelessly roamed over her chest and muscular arms, though Ambessa clearly didn't mind. Your next words were full of awe, and your queen's dead heart soared.

"I have never seen a vampire as...mesmerizing as you before. I am grateful you are the one I am offering my blood to, my queen." Ambessa's lips curled into a soft smile.

"Am I that beautiful to you?" At your nod, her lips spread wider, "thank you, my dear." Your queen brushed her icy fingers against your cheek, watching you shiver. Her next words were a gentle, yet commanding murmur.

"...Show me where." You knew what she meant.

It was time for the first bite. Ambessa always allowed delicacies to choose where that would be, as a sign of respect for the role they had accepted. The mark of the first bite never left, and it's scar served as a reminder to you and a warning to anyone who dared to touch you.

That she had claimed your body as her own.

Now you swallowed, tentatively moving in her lap until you could hike up your dress. Once your thighs and hips were exposed, you gathered the courage to speak up.

"My queen, I would ask that you drink from me...here." Your fingers pointed to your right inner thigh, and the vampire before you smirked.

"Are you sure about that, my dear? For the very first bite, it can be quite painful." You bit your bottom lip, thinking one last time before nodding.

"I am. Though I, um, i-if it is not a burden–" Your breath faltered as cold lips brushed over your shoulder, and Ambessa spoke.

"You needn't fear, I'll be gentle. Now, lay on your back my sweet." You nodded, grateful for her soft tone as you laid down on the bed before her.

"Spread your legs for me darling." The crude words were said so kindly it gave you whiplash, yet still you parted your thighs with a reddening face. Ambessa didn't hide the lust in her stare, humming in approval. Of course, you had no undergarments on–Ambessa had no need for them on her delicacies–and so your wet folds were completely exposed to your queen.

"Beautiful..." Ambessa breathed, sinking down as she grasped your thighs. "This warmth...and this blood..." You shuddered as she kissed your sensitive skin, suckling the inner part of your thighs. She didn't bite down yet, only nibbling with her fangs instead.

Ambessa was focused on making this moment as delicious to you as it would be to her, pleasuring each of your thighs as she inched up to your dewy folds. Eventually, her cool breath tickling you was the only warning you had before she finally tasted you. You moaned, gasping as her tongue skillfully unraveled your burning core. You cried out as Ambessa had you to her hearts content. She was relentless, and soon the once silent room was full of your keening mewls and whimpers.

Suddenly, just as you felt you would soon hit your peak, she pulled away, lips moving back to your right thigh. You wanted to protest when she halted, but quickly the reason why was revealed.

"Look at me, my sweet." You looked down to red eyes more vibrant than ever. The moonlight made her look otherworldly, like a predator about to pounce on her prey. Ambessa heaved, body shining with a thin glean of sweat, and the tip of her fangs moved down to drag across your skin.

The action created a thin, clear line of blood on your thigh, and you watched as Ambessa slowly dragged her tongue back over the wound, keeping eye contact with you. The possessive gleam in her eyes made you tremble, and this time the reaction only made her lips curl up even more.

"Mm...perhaps it is good to be a little scared, it does make the blood all the more sweeter..." Before you could say a word, pain and pleasure shot through your body, and you gasped as Ambessa bit down, fervently drinking your blood.

It was warm, and it was messy. You could feel your blood dripping down your thigh and staining the sheets below. Fire coursed through your body, sending you over the edge to finally reach your peak. You gripped the bed to steady yourself only to have Ambessa grab your hips and drag you closer, taking deeper gulps of your sweet blood.

You wept from the pain, you moaned out as you came–you were thrown into a violent storm of pain and ecstasy, unable to think under the continuous waves of both. All you could process was a calloused hand intertwining with your shivering own, comforting you throughout the ordeal. You held it tight, and you hung onto the voice of your queen as your vision began to fade, words loving as darkness overtook you.

"You did so well for me love, you worked hard. Rest now..."

#ambessa x reader #arcane ambessa #ambessa medarda #arcane x reader #arcane headcanon #yall this spiraled i bsed the end #but like i rlly liek this concept... #Ambessa's delicacy.... like purr

[everythinglucymaudmontgomery]

A Few Words in Defense of Poor Robin and the Time She Was Living In

It's been really interesting to read everyone's vitriol regarding poor Robin. I remember reading this book through at least twice before and never thinking of Robin as anything other than a fellow prisoner of Jane's. Is she a good mother, by no means, but I've always felt that she's doing the best that she can under the circumstances.

I think that her life is a literal living hell. She has a husband across country that she desperately loves but most likely thinks despises her because I KNOW she despises herself. She is forced to be a social butterfly by her mother and she can't even express her emotions by crying at night in her own room because her mother will be able to tell and will find some new creative way to torture her and, by extension, Jane. Her daughter whom she loves fiercely, evidently looks just like her father and is a constant reminder of what she lost/threw away. She is playing a part in a horrific nightmarish play just to survive because she doesn't know what else to do. At that time, and under those circumstances, I don't doubt that she sees living with her mother's horribleness is her best option for providing for Jane. I can't imagine how many times she has most likely visualized running away with Jane by herself but most likely is more afraid of the two of them starving to death and NO mother ever wants to remotely consider that option.

I'm also pretty sure that the time frame for this book is sometime in the 20s/30s. According to the website for the Canadian Museum of History, Canada was among the most profoundly affected countries. So add that to Robin's fears for their livelihood.

And please let's not forget that, for all of Robin's faults, Jane does not doubt that her mother loves her. I have more to say in defense of her and Jane and their secret ways of expressing love but since I don't want to give away any spoilers to those who haven't read it yet, I will refrain.

Another thing that I have found is very interesting about how Maud wrote both "The Blue Castle" and "Jane of Lantern Hill" is that she writes more strictly from one point of view. As common as that is in many books, one thing I always liked about the Anne books was that you got all of these wonderful insights into the minds of other characters. I have seen it a precious few times so far in Lantern Hill.

The reason I point this out is that most of how we are seeing Jane's life play out is from the perspective of an 11 year old. Don't get me wrong, a very perceptive (at times) and wise beyond her years, 11 year old, but an 11 year old, none the less. They are not known to be the most broad minded of people and have a tendency to color the world with a narrowness that can alter reality to some extent. We do have to take a lot of her experiences and outlooks with a grain of salt giving others the benefit of the doubt at least.

I have often found it very difficult bordering on impossible to read books from other time frames without being influenced by the modern sensibilities and customs I am used to. For example, how could Cinderella's stepmother get away with taking her own house away from her after her father died and treating her like a slave? Oh wait. This was not the 21st century, orphans were not looked at the same. In fact, most people looked at orphans as if it was THEIR own fault that they were orphans, like losing your parents makes you a bad person and not worth time or pity.

Am I excusing Robin's behavior? As a mother, NO. Do I think the grandmother should be excused. HEAVENS NO! But I do try to put myself in their shoes as much as I can and remember that this was a different time and place. Not to mention, as a sufferer of mental health issues and knowing that that was something that was not touched with a ten foot pole back then and good lord knows what genetic predisposition they had in that regards on top of living through WW1 and the Great Depression AND the Spanish Flu Pandemic!!!!

Anyway, I hope this makes some semblance of sense to my dear fellow lovers of L.M.M. It's been so interesting and enlightening getting to hear the different thoughts and outlooks from fresh readers of this little known but wonderful book.

#lantern hill book club #lucy maud montgomery #lmmontgomery #l.m. montgomery

[endlessnightlock]

Can you do Number 13 or 30 for the fluff prompts? Pretty please?

30. "i can hear your heartbeat- why is it going so fast all of a sudden?"

This is part two of a story you can read here.

My chair is still clattering against the floor when Peeta leans across his hospital bed and captures my arm in a surprisingly strong grip, preventing any chance I had of making a quick escape from his room.

For someone who’s been in a coma, he moves fast. Perhaps my grief has made me stupidly slow. Either way, he has me trapped.

Neither of us speaks. Instead, we warily assess each other. I wonder how many of the things I said when I thought he was unconscious he heard. At least he doesn’t look frightened or crazy, I realize. He’s breathing hard, eyes boring into mine like he’s trying to penetrate my mind. Confused, I’d say. Not homicidal. That’s a start.

Uncomfortable with his frank gaze, with no clue as to what he’s thinking, I try to shake his grip. I'm too close. It's too much contact. Though he resists at first, he finally releases my arm. I tell myself not to rub the spot where his fingers dug into my skin. Everything feels like it’s burning---my face, my stomach. My heart is on fire.

“Why did you run?”

"The doctor needs to see you---"

"Katniss," he says tiredly.

I really don't want to go into all of this with him right now, but he won't stop looking at me, and I don't feel like I can leave now. "The last time you were awake, you tried to choke me," I whisper. "The night you and Johanna, and Annie were rescued."

He frowns. "I don't remember that."

"I do. I was there for the whole thing. Hard to forget."

Things are awkward as Peeta settles back on his pillows gingerly. He's just now aware of all the machines he's hooked up to. "Are they alright?"

"Jo and Annie?"

He nods. His fingers are curled lightly into his hands, and I wonder if it's intentional if he's trying to keep from looking at his hands and thinking about what he doesn't remember trying to do to me. "Yeah. Jo is bunking with me, actually. We have a lot in common---she hates me too."

"You're always so dramatic," he sighs, shifting on the bed.

I frown at him. I am not dramatic. "Yeah, yeah. Annie is with Finnick. As in, she won't go anywhere without him. They're pretty much attached at the hip."

For a minute, I'm wistful, jealous of Annie and Finnick and their love. Anyone looking at them can see it. No one asks their angle; no one assumes it's all for show.

We fall silent again until he sighs loudly. "Sit down, would you? You're making me nervous glowering over there, ready to run. I'm not going to eat you alive."

For some reason, I do what he asks. Maybe because I feel like this has to happen eventually with him. I can't avoid him forever. Maybe it's stubbornness, and I'm too spiteful to show him any fear. It's probably not the smartest thing I've ever done, but when he scoots to the side of the hospital bed, I sit beside him. If he hadn't lost so much weight, we both wouldn't fit without me sitting in his lap.

We sit hip to hip, staring straight ahead, neither of us acknowledging the other at first. Peeta is so different now. He used to know exactly what to say or not say in any situation. Slowly I begin to acclimate to his proximity, and it's not awful. I'm nervous thinking about his first reaction to our reunion.

"I'm starting to remember what happened that night," Peeta admits. In his lap, he clenches and unclenches his fists.

"You're not going to do it again, are you?" I ask, only kidding a little.

He relaxes his hands and turns his gaze to me, eyes roaming my face. "No. I don't want to choke you," he reassures me.

"Well, that's a start."

He laughs weakly. "Yeah. I guess so. I was afraid that night. Of you. That's why I did it. You were you, but not really. You were shiny. Shimmering, like none of the lines of your face would stay in place. I thought you were going to kill me."

"'What about now?"

He shakes his head. "I'm not afraid of you now."

I don't say the same. I wish I could.

Peeta slumps against the bed like talking to me took all of his energy. I find myself turning to his side and laying my head on his chest. We lay quietly, too tired and raw to talk.

Eventually, our breathing evens out, and he runs a hand down my braid comfortingly. Beneath my ear, his steady heartbeat picks up.

"I can hear your heartbeat- why is it going so fast all of a sudden?" I want to ask Peeta, but right now, I'm not sure I can deal with his answer.

#endlessnightlock writes #everlark fanfiction #thg drabble #katniss everdeen/peeta mellark #a/u d13

[l-e-morgan-author]

Not to exclaim over my own writing so much but it genuinely means so much to me that in Patience, Changing and The Patience of Hope - set about five years apart, though I've not made the difference so sure yet, the timeline is fairly loose at this point - that you can see the difference in how much more comfortable she is in The Patience of Hope.

Like a couple of paragraphs in Patience, Changing:

She wondered if her parents would love the other child more, assuming she was ‘normal’ like Patience was not. If pressed they would exclaim that nobody could love a child more than they loved Patience, but she had long since learned to take that advice lightly. It was not that she felt unloved; just that she was alien. There were ways in which she was utterly unlike everyone she knew. A part of her wanted to blame it on the fact that she was autistic, but somewhere deep inside she feared she was simply broken, a question that had never been allowed to rest. Patience had always been too afraid to ask it of her parents, just in case they confirmed her worst fear and said that yes, she was just broken. If ever it was confirmed she didn’t know how she would bear it.

Later on, she's still struggling with self hatred:

Why could she not let it go? She'd been assured that they loved her despite the way she was, and it wasn't like she disbelieved her parents. No, they were sincere, and yet - And yet! Rhona was so normal, so easy and relaxed. Patience was a ball of anxious energy who sat in the corner and knitted her way out of her many panics. She didn't really want to admit how much she envied and resented Rhona's apparent ease when dealing with others.

She's still worrying about it in The Patience of Hope, but not so much:

Was it my fault? she wanted to ask, tossing a diced potato in the slow cooker. Was I too difficult a child to raise, and caused fractures? Was I just too standoffish, too self reliant, too autistic? But her mother would never answer it honestly. At least - she couldn’t trust it would be honest, because it was too personal, and Mum would not want her to carry the guilt of separating them. She already carried that guilt, in the secret parts of her mind. It didn’t plague her always - just sometimes, when she was trying to get to sleep.

Nathan, though, tries to reassure her:

She laughed, bitterness edging her voice. “I’m autistic, Nathan. What if that’s just - unacceptable?” He sighed. “Autism isn’t a death sentence, nor does it make you broken, Patience. It’s a difference. It means you’re different. If you weren’t autistic you’d be different from the Patience I know and l-like.” He flushed, looking unaccountably guilty.

And she's working on it, she really is:

“For one thing - the thing I try and remind myself, and forget far too often - I’m a child of God, and that’s more important than the fact that I’m autistic, or anything else I am. - Thank you, Chloe.”

Anyway I don't know why I wanted to make this post, I just did.

Seven days to go until I hopefully receive my own autism diagnosis, God willing.... Frankly even though multiple clinicians are absolutely certain that I am autistic I'm scared in case the person assessing me doesn't think so. Or if they do, I don't know what the next step is.

#autism #patience changing #the patience of hope #my writing #a girl's gotta scream about her own writing every so often ain't so #write what you want to read and all that

[archivus]

MAG[REDACTED] - Lights out in the Circus

Statement of Frank Gabriel regarding his development of a fear of heights. Original statement given January 3rd, 2018. Recording by Arcturus Walker, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, Budapest. Put to tape March 25th, 2024. Statement begins:

The stage is my life, or better yet, my life was flying above the stage. Throughout the different phases of my life I always wanted to perform, so now working for the national circus is a dream come true. Was a dream come true.

It all started months ago, I don't know exactly when, but I started having a recurring dream. The dream consisted of a simple jump high up on the rope, maybe a meter or two across, where I reach for the trapeze I'm supposed to grab but it isn't there. It's not like I'm jumping into thin air, I see the rod clearly. I know my limits and the jump is possible, but I hold out for it and it seemingly jumps out of my reach. And then I fall. I fall and I keep falling way below the ground. I sometimes wake up mid fall. Sometimes only when it feels like I'll hit something. But it always just feels like it. I'm falling into a dark abyss, my stomach in a knot and I can't *see* the end.

I normally don't mind the feeling of freefall, I feel like if I found it unpleasant that would be a serious drawback in my line of work. I quite enjoy falling on the practice trampoline, the mat or the safety net if it's part of the performance. Sure, when it's unexpected it's not the nicest, but I also know nothing will come of it. But the feeling in my dreams is akin to anxiety. I *feel* something coming, that recognizable sense of impending doom hits me. I'm jumping to my death and I can feel it. I am falling towards my end in the infinity before I'm jerked awake. And it kept happening, again and again every night. First I woke up properly, then it just turned into a transition from REM cycle to REM cycle, dream to dream, but the dream was always the same.

It didn't affect me at first. The dreams, at least, I could definitely feel the effects of the lack of sleep taking a toll on me. But we only had a few weeks left of the season, so I soldiered through somehow. But off season I was stuck inside, with nothing to take my mind off of my strange dreams I relived them whenever my brain had any spare time. Which was admittedly a lot. I found myself starting to be terrified of the idea of climbing the platform, afraid that the trapeze will escape my grasp for real this time. The idea of the safety net didn't help either...

Every tuesday and friday the circus was open, each performer could go practice as they felt like. Last year I went every week, but this time I found myself avoiding it. I still went the first few times but then I started to hit the snooze and stay in. Still did my daily stretches though, but I don't have access to heights at home, of course.

So when I couldn't procrastinate further and had to climb the pole I was nervous, shaking a bit. Rationally I know nothing could happen, I was there when the safety net was fastened and I know very well that it was just a trampoline, but when does rationalizing our fears ever actually resolve them? I so wish it did. Deep down I was glad I was alone, no one saw my hesitation. No one could, except for the guy responsible for lighting, but he wasn't looking my way. Not yet. I haven't paid much attention to him before, but I noticed the lights were different during the shows, not bad, but noticably cooler toned.

He was a new hire, average height which made him look small among the acrobats, wore his dark hair in a half-up, his general style is as you would expect from someone that works the mixer. Hearsay said he took it up as a gig and will be gone soon.

Not soon enough. I was up on the platform, slapping my palms into the chalk, my sweat mixing into a sticky goo with the powder, I grabbed onto my trapeze and just hung there a for a bit and started swaying. I synced with the rythm of the lights blinking above me. I did my practice routine on a single handle, no jumps yet. Once it felt awkward to procrastinate any further I swung out and let go, reaching for the stationary handle as I noticed something in my peripherals.

The lights were on at the mixer booth and I could clearly see a figure watching me. The desk is off to the side, but he was facing the glass head on this time, towards my direction. As I could predict it my hands couldn't even touch the trapeze as I began my freefall at once, this time for real.

I had my back down, I closed my eyes bracing for the soft impact on the safety net that never came. I tumbled towards nothingness again, reopening my eyes to complete darkness. The air suddenly smelled fresh and a bit like ozone, as much as the pressure let me breathe and it was cold against my face, even past what the velocity would cause. I kept on falling for what felt like an eternity. I was turning my body, figuring out how it was most comfortable. I kind of just accepted my faith, not expecting it to end anytime soon when it did, suddenly and all at once. I got that distinct feeling that always woke me up before, but I didn't hit the ground. I came to my senses the moment before letting go of my trapeze, without time to react my body took on the pose I had tumbling down the abyss and I found myself sat on the net underneath, the shock of "hitting the ground" still weighing heavily on my chest.

I looked over to the mixer booth too late. The new hire wasn't in the room anymore. The stage was dark. I rest my head on the net for one deep inhale and climbed off. I packed my stuff and headed home.

I didn't go back again. I liked the circus a lot but I knew I couldn't continue what I did before. I collected my paycheck at the start of the new season and asked if I could take a break, maybe work a role that didn't involve heights. Their response was a dismissal.

Statement ends.

It's not often that I don't have to run statements through the team nor do a follow up, but this one needs no explanation to me. I worked a gig doing lighting for the national circus at the time. And I also know that the performers gossiped about me. My brother told me. Like that matters. I didn't have anything against Frank specifically, he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Alone. As a freshly hatched avatar I needed people to test my powers on and who could be better than those trained at freefall? Those working with heights? And those that enjoy it? I didn't mean to traumatize this poor man no less get him fired.

Guess that's in the past now. I searched him up, but no new workplace was listed on any of his social platforms. Wish I could feel remorse, but I sold my soul to the entity of insignificance so, guess that won't change. He was a good test subject though, I enjoyed his dreams.

Statement ends.

If you enjoyed, you can check out the other episodes here:

The Flesh The Stranger The Dark

@transbot-brian, @theseuscloud, @cult-of-the-eye thanks for the nice comments on my previous post! Future episodes will be posted over on this account, hope you enjoyed

#tma #MAGREDACTED #writing #the vast #tma fanepisode #tma statements #the magnus archive #original writing #poor guy #properly traumatized by sky blue

[jaw-writes]

I Despise You Darling

I despise everything about you. Your endless void eyes, freakishly long legs, ever smug smile, deceptively soft touch, strangely floral scent. All of it. You attack each of my senses every time you come near me. To think that we were once best friends, I had more faith in you than anyone, whenever I needed advice or a shoulder to cry on, I went to you first. You meant the world to me; it makes me feel sick whenever I remember how the girl I loved was a lie 

You betrayed me, your best friend, in the name of a grotesque experiment where I’m the lab rat. There’s no doubt that you started the fire that continues to burn my life, but I can’t deny that I’ve enjoyed pouring the gasoline. At first, I did my best to avoid becoming obsessed with you, constantly holding myself back knowing it was wrong, but you made it impossible. Your mind is a carefully curated garden brimming with all sorts of life. As each day went by, I wanted to pick another flower from it, feel another blade of grass, and bask in its intrigue. 

I learned so much about you through observation, that I never could as your friend. Last year when I found out that you’d been stalking me, I had no idea why you’d do such a thing, now I understand. If watching me gave you a quarter of the feelings I get from watching you, then I’d almost forgive your actions. Gazing at your life through an analytical lens elicits feelings in me I didn’t know existed. It’s almost impossible to describe the manic rush of joy and power I get. 

Although, I think we enjoy it in different ways based on how we view each other. To you I’m your favorite seed in your garden, you want to watch me grow into your ideal tree. So, you take what you know about how I function, and combine it with your understanding of the world to make a compost for me. As brutal as the water you drown me in and the harsh sun you scorch me with is, it’s all part of your method to make me grow. I am a creation you live to see reach its full potential.  

To me, you’re the opposite, a malicious computer program that I enjoy watching destroy itself. You have never felt an ounce of empathy and have always needed to control any device you encounter. Once you find a target, you infect them with your virus, mining every piece of their data, and adding them to your collection of stolen lives. You successfully did it to me, but unlike the others, you kept going. Focusing on my activity far after you were done stealing from me, constantly coming back to see how I’d adapt to a new trojan horse you threw.  

Soon, I became the only user you engaged with, no other piece of tech mattered unless it was connected to me, and God, did seeing you like that feed my ego. A smile forces its way to my face at your meticulous plans growing in detail and intensity as you can’t focus on anything else. I, a random individual with nothing but a hint of illness to him, is who you put all your resources into. I’m unable to fear you anymore, while I gaze at you practically living for me. In your efforts to crumble and rebuild my life. You’ve made yourself incapable of having your own.  

Both of us have embraced the worst aspects of ourselves through the sick experiments we’ve been running on each other. You may be the greater evil between us, but I’m no longer afraid to admit that I’ve become a devil myself. I mean, I lured you into an abandoned warehouse, called upon one of my allies to help me fight you, and then shot you ceaselessly, making sure it was in areas that would maim, but not kill you. Now why would I do that? To make you paralyzed, of course. I was incredibly particular about where I aimed.  

You’ll be unable to move your limbs for at least four months, which invigorates me. I’ve been watching you and your caretaker. It’s great seeing both your arms and legs in casts. You had already been losing your strength to your fixation on me, but now you’ll be incapable of running away. If you find yourself fearing me right now, know that whatever happens next is your fault. I’m not the Anti-Christ, so I’ll simply enjoy observing your lack of mobility, with no further harm, but prepare yourself because the moment you can walk, I’ll be waiting.  

Unless I’m lying like you always lied to me, and I’ll strike once one of your limbs heal. Maybe I’ll be tracking you even more and will be able to tell if you’re pretending that you haven’t healed so I don’t hurt you sooner. Maybe I won’t even wait for when your body starts recovering, and you’ll wake up to me standing over your bed with my hands on your neck. I know how much you like analyzing and picking out patterns with me, so I’ll make sure you never know what to expect. I could be bluffing, and this is all to scare you off, so I’ll be done with you, you’ll never know. 

Are you starting to regret choosing me for this? Does the thought that you’ve grown a deadly poison plant out of your control kill you? Or are you loving this as much as I am, and you want to rub yourself all over me to get a blistering rash? I think it’s a mix of both for you, but who am I to say, it’s not like I’ve been watching your every move, right? No matter what you feel, just remember, I despise you, darling. 

#creepypasta #horror #ao3 writer #drama #edit #moodboard #black and white #long post #original character #original story #my writing #writers on tumblr #writing #aesthetic #original post #pinterest #bookblr #books #short story #story #no sleep #love hate relationship #poetry #writerscommunity #writers and poets #poc writer #asian writers #thriller #romantic #no sleep rejected this because they hate protags who aren't purely sympathetic

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for lying to my creations(family??) for years to try to protect them?

I (???M?) am a villain, I have 7 creations, my henchmen. I consider them family but I am unsure of their opinions, so I am just sticking with "creations" or similar. I'm in a rather difficult situation and was hoping for the internet's aid in advising me.

this began 50000 years ago when I was quite foolish and young. I conquered the 7 kingdoms of my homeworld, (I'm not technically from it? but that's complicated and frankly irrelevant so I shall not elaborate.) But ruling all at once was difficult, It was for this task I made my seven creations, assigning them to rule in differing kingdoms.

Unfortunately, a hero (not9m) rose to defeat me, gaided by and enemy of mine (???F) and was successful. I as well as my creations were sealed into stones (not statue-type stones. shiny cyrstal orb stones.) and we stayed that way for 5000 years time, a which point we were resurrected by a villain seeking our power.

however when I rose I felt remorse, you could say. I felt a yearning to be a part of the world that I had so carelessly conquered, and so when a hero much the same as the last came to defeat me once again, I offered him peace, an offer he refused.

I promised myself I would not do this again. not just for the sake of my pride but as I had come to realize something. the source of my power is fear, so if I was to lose my status as a villain, I would be weak.

if this were to happen I am afraid I might lose the strength needed to sustain my creations. I am afraid they may die. and I cannot have that happen.

and so when i rose again, (and an instance this is where I fear i may have been the asshole) i began to lie to and sabotage my creations, convincing them to try their best, getting thing hopes up, and secretly stopping them moments before their victory, when the heroes would come I would throw the fight.

this continued for many years as i continued to be restricted after my defeats, always 5000 years later. this has come to be known to those involved as "The Cycle".

something I regret happened maybe 50 or so cycles ago. One of my creations, one of the youngest (500000M) came to know of my sabotage. he was angered and launched an attack on civilians. in my panicked state, I made a horrible mistake, One that has affected me as well as my creations greatly to this day. I cursed him. he is stuck as a weeping shell of his former self. if I were less of a coward I may attempt to remove the curse, however, I am pitifully weak.

this has affected me specifically the two closest in years to him (they were all created around the same time, so "years" isn't quite accurate, it gets across the point, they vary in age.)

The one older than him (500000M) has been struck greatly by the younger ones curse, he is quite weak these days and I worry for him greatly, and than younger than him (500000F) has distanced herself greatly from me since then, I suspect she knows I am lying about the circumstances of his curse, and maybe more. I worry she despises me.

I think a few of them suspect something, to be frank. the second youngest of my henchmen (500000M) as well as the one of middle age, (500000F) I fear I may have pushed them too hard, or been careless.

currently, it is the 100th cycle. and though have done this again and again I feel more lost than ever. the heroes seem different, if slightly but I will not let that get my hopes up.

the heroes took on the first kingdom with relative ease but when they made it to my second henchman things went poorly, he was planning to blow up the capital of the kingdom. had I not interfered he would have succeeded there is no dought.

the third kingdom was an ordeal to say the least. i had a conversation with two of the heroes, one that when very poorly, and i threatened them sevealy. in adition to that i am exedingly worried for the henchman of that kingdom, i think she is pushing herslef to hard for the sake of me, she is trying so hard to win and i cant even tell her i dont want that.

on a more positive note, I have befriended some people. the villains who had summoned me, a small witchy girl (10?F) and an alien woman (30?F) who has taken the girl under her wing. the girl is loud and bratty in an indearing sort of way, she is quite sad if you get to know her and her past is mysterios. The woman is just in this for the girl it would seem, but she to is trying to outrun her past. i guess all of us are in a way.

I have also become close with the princes of the kingdom i reside in, . she is a kind young woman and i consider her my best friend frakly. i don tknow why she in my firnend to be honest but she had advised me to talk to my henchmen so that i did.

the previosly mention theird youngest of them. it went poorly. i realed my secrets as adviced and he was angry and attempted to fight me, i sealed him in his stone regrertfully. after whitch i payed i vist to the cursed of my underlings. i do not think he is in aany state to even comprehend that i was there, let alone who i was.

i am feeling lost and guilty so do tell, AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[natugood]

I never realized how much of a positive impact it would have on me mentally and emotionally, but I am so happy I got top surgery. Yes, I do still feel sad and miss my breasts, because they were a part of me that I grew into and learned to love. But I feel so SO much more myself without them.

I get to exist without the constant, subtle pain, the reminder that my body isn’t mine for some reason, even though I know that it is, or at least that it should be. It’s like before I was existing as myself but through a warped mirror, seeing a reflection or version of myself which I knew to be true, but also which I felt disconnected from. Like I was inhabiting an alien clone of my real self. It didn’t feel wrong because I had never known another existence, I had never seen or experienced another version of myself, I couldn’t imagine another version of myself.

I didn’t let myself imagine another version of myself, because I was afraid that the joy I would experience at seeing myself as I wanted would torment me and make my life agony. I wanted to survive, I didn’t want to live in pain. But I knew I felt wrong. I looked wrong. I was wrong. But I was wasn’t wrong, I was just me. I was trying so, so hard to learn to love me. And I still love that version of myself. My breasts were a part of me, a part of my body, and even though I never wanted them there, I accepted them, because what else was I supposed to do? I wanted to love myself, and they were a part of me, so I tried. I tried so hard, but as time went on, even though they felt more and more right, they also felt more and more wrong.

I think a part of me always knew that they were temporary, that they were visitors on my body, a necessary but unwanted part of my form. When I had my surgery, I wanted to take time beforehand to say goodbye. They were a part of me. I loved them. I was going to miss them, even if I knew I would be happier without them. They meant the world to me, even if I wanted them to go away forever. They were a part of me, a part of me that made me, me. I was sleepy that day though, and I was more anxious and uncertain about the events to come than I was about whether I would have time to take a private moment to myself, to get to say goodbye. For once, I was living in the moment. The anesthesia hit much faster than I expected too; I thought I’d have a few more minutes with them, but before I knew it, I was waking up. They were gone. I didn’t get to say goodbye to them. In our last moments together, I didn’t think about them at all.

When I woke up, my body felt strange, and pained, and lacking. As the days went by, I felt the same numbers that I had felt before, though in some ways it was exacerbated by the post surgery dressings. But beneath the numbness, it felt good. So good. It took me awhile to really register that goodness, to even register they were gone.

So much of the time they existed I tried to ignore them. Your chest isn’t the focal point of your existence anyways, so I didn’t think about it a lot, or at least I tried not to. But with them gone, it felt like a part of me had been released. The constant pain, the fear, the awareness of their existence - vanished. The surgery was not the beginning of the process. It was slow, and had been ongoing over since I got my first binder, eight years before. I’d compressed them, tried to live without them, tried to forget their existence for so so long. It felt fake that I could finally relieve myself of that burden.

And now, there I was. In my own body, but insufficient another alien body. Trying to reacquaint myself with myself, the myself who I’d know but never gotten to see, the myself who I had become. As time has gone on, I have felt no regret. I don’t see my body through a warped perspective anymore. I just see myself for who I am. I am finally myself. I get to be happy now. I am free.

#Idk what prompted this I am just rambling here but like. man #also I have a WHOLE ADDITIONAL RAMBLE ABOUT HOW MY TRANSNESS AFFRCTS MY SENSE OF TIME #ANS HOW TIME EFFECTS MY SENSE OF SELF #cause I can Remeber how I used to look and who I used to be. but no one else can. and new people don’t know. #but it’s WEIRD cause that’s true with everyone!!! not just trans ppl!!! it’s just that gender is *supposed* to be absolute and concrete. #so it feels like a secret that my past experiences don’t match the assumeptions ppl have about my past experiences #ya know? #anwyays. #I am. drunk. #googoogajoob #trans pride #trans masc #top surgery

[wordsinhaled]

pressed — a Dream-perspective Dreamling playlist

notes: so uh. this is basically... a response to neil's ask about dream & calliope's wedding, in playlist form, because... yeah. so... 12 songs for dream's vulnerability when it comes to falling in love. it's songs from dream to hob. it is... big emotions. the mortifying ordeal of being known. etc. etc. -tracks- ginger and pear - pressed nick mulvey - fever to form the staves - steady rosemary & garlic - i'm here fenne lily - top to toe roo panes - know me well jono mccleary - darkest light wolf larsen - if i be wrong tuvaband - unknown axel flóvent - forest fires liza anne - lost billie marten - heavy weather

- lyrics below the cut -

ginger & pear // pressed

bring me home pick me and press me in the big dictionary you keep on the shelf i belong nestled and swaddled  in words, to preserve me for years and when winter arrives, i'll still be here and when spring comes around, i'll still be here pressed in the shape that you found me most beautiful paper thin and petals like laces, i wait until it's time to unveil me maybe now i'll be delicate at least for a season or two and when summer arrives, i'll still be here and when autumn comes blowing, i'll be here pressed and beloved, or forgotten that's all up to you paper thin and veins on display, i wait until i'm transparent and ready maybe now i'll be knowable i can learn not to ache for your hands

nick mulvey // fever to the form

'cause the very thing you're afraid, afraid of it keeps you clean but unclear - clean but unclear is the dirt that you're made, you're made of and that's nothing to fear no, it's nothing, my dear but how do i know what you're thinking? maybe i thought it before maybe that's why i'm at your window hear me at your door singing, "give me some more" oh, fever to the form won't you hear me at your door singing "give me some more"? 'cause you were never empty and we've been here before

the staves // steady

steady, steady, steady you steady touch our love so much, i'm sleepless rabbit in a snare, why you sleeping softly in your bed? when unruly wild blood is pumping, why you running scared? and the line will read that i was never here can you see from where you're standing and the line will read that i was never here can you hear where i'm coming from?

rosemary & garlic // i'm here

here we found a place to stay build a house in the woods you'll find it safe it's small, though the light comes in then you say that it has a fire within then you sketched the trees and a path underneath for those who leave and i am a lover and a friend to you a part of your palette, a shade of blue i am i am here here i am here and i have you grateful by my side you are all my colors and my light

fenne lily // top to toe

tell me i'm a time you'll miss feelings always change like this but you are all the words i need to explain myself, it seems so i'm changing all my days to make your nights won't you take me to your bed? i should have said i need you more

roo panes // know me well

well, you know me with that ancient gaze you strip me down with yesterday's eyes you know me as i was but see me as i will be and i still had a lot of growing when you took me and you shaped me with those hands you know me better than myself, make me better than i am you know me well, you know me well, you know me well when i think upon my past i see i loved you many years before you came in my hopes and my dreams with the wax and the moon wane what can i fear when i know that i walk by your side? you're the fortress within which i've got nothing to hide none can take me; i'm the tower the world couldn't fell 'cause i'm stronger when i know you know me well

jono mccleary // darkest light

you have been strong in my mind today my love is dying to be on your way why am i always drawn to the darkest light? it seems that i believe i can help it shine so let me see the lines upon your face invite me in to dance in your darkest place to dance in your darkest place can we dance in your darkest place?

wolf larsen // if i be wrong

what if i'm wrong, what if i've lied, what if i've dragged you here to my own dark night? and what if i know, what if i see there is a crack run right down the front of me? what if they're right, what if they're wrong, what if i've lured you here with a siren song? but if i be wrong, if i be right let me be here with you tonight ten thousand cars, ten thousand trains there are ten thousand roads to run away and i have been wrong, i have been right i have been both these things all in the same night so if i be wrong, if i be right let me stay here with you tonight

tuvaband // unknown

fear showed me how fragile this is i seem to lean back on my heels and i want to meet you halfway but i cannot yet would you wait for me? until the unknown would you wait for me until the unknown?

axel flóvent // forest fires

i'll be there in the summer 'cause your heart isn't safe you won't go - you're not a runner so you won't run away if you could follow your heart gently there wouldn't be this mess your dreams are incredibly loud tonight you're creating forest fires i can't change your thoughts, my dear i can't change your fears but if you want i'll travel near to make it disappear

liza anne // lost

i'll be lost if i love him lost if i don't oh, it seems i'm my own worst enemy i'm doing it to myself and i can't muster up the courage to say it's best that i leave i can't muster up much of anything when i'm feeling you breathe he's the sweet of a morning kiss but there's a poison it holds sticking thorns into my spine but i won't let go sticking thorns into my sight but i keep my eyes closed i'm doing it with my own heart i won't let it mend i'm doing it to myself

billie marten // heavy weather

when the sun rises heavy, if it rises at all meet me there across the water and we'll start an endless storm rain falls in love together we walk the english winter so caught up in one another because if we're under thundershowers the rain is ours and we are lovers of heavy weather come on, lightning, try to strike us we might be frightened, but we won't run we'd be so happy if we were fearless and in the darkness, we will become rain falls in love we fall in love

#the sandman #dreamling

[luimagines]

*Runs in like I have a lynel on my heels, hands you a basket filled with warm drinks and sweet snacks with a note, promptly passes out without elaborating* Greetings, first of all, how have you been doing? Also, Happy Late Tears of The Kingdom release date. Second of all, finally an excuse to ramble about your works as much as the Tumblr word account limit will allow me in an extensive way like a greek orator holding assembly like Plato talking about Atlantis. Or well at least some, cause if I were to ramble about everything you've posted so far we'd be here all day (SPECIALLY if I were to gush about Time and Twilight), so I'll limit myself to an arguable top six for today.

Ahem. *Clears throat* Anyway if I have to pick any works that are my favorite of yours, my very first pick would likely be the Fear Room.

Wind and his intense trauma about losing Aryll? His desperation as an elder brother who was supposed to protect her and thought he failed again? Wild and all of the ghosts of his kingdom that haunts his steps because he died way back when because he failed and the feeling of survivor's guilt being in full display? That if he could he'd trade his life for theirs so he wouldn't need to live with the most intense feeling of failure out of all the Links and to look at Hyrule and Zelda and everything like the pages of an old faded book? To say goodbyes to people he doesn't know anymore? Sky and his feelings over never being enough? Of always being just a second too late while the people he cares for are in danger and out of his reach, further made worse by the fact Demise's Curse took hold because of his actions/inaction in Skyward Sword and that feeling further exacerbated by Impa through the game? Hyrule not wanting all that he went through to be for naught and not wanting to be all alone again, specially given that without Zelda he wouldn't be able to keep Ganon at bay alone? Twilight's pure anguish and desperation of seeing bad things happen to his loved ones and losing them again and again and being unable to do anything about it? Time being so afraid of losing control over the Fierce Deity and being so, so, so tired. Tired of being strong, tired of being thrust into adventure after adventure and having his agency denied again and again on wether or not he wants to continue on or not? That he has been strong for so long that he not only just cracks, but BREAKS. Warriors pulling his punches because even if it looks like his shield brothers betrayed him and he's tired of traitors he doesn't want to believe it and doesn't want to hurt them? Four failing to save Dot, his childhood friend and in turn likely losing not only Ezlo but the colors and Shadow, literally pieces of himself after he jigsaw puzzled them back together and likely can't see himself living without them? LEGEND WITH THE KOHOLINT TRAUMA? Not to mention all of the other people he lost over the years, his parents, his uncle, technically Sir Raven of we go by the manga who was basically like a brother to him (also know as an incredibly gorgeous man I am itching to write for after the Fairy Tale series is done), Marin, technically Ravio and Hilda if Ravio doesn't go to live in his house after LBTW's, and finally Reader's reaction and lingering trepidation after it's all said and done, it's really well written horror and the horror enthusiast in me delights in it even if it's pure pain and my dog will never not be startled when I giddily cackle over it, 1000/10, would absolutely read again. Plus it inspired stuff for certain parts of the Fairy Tale au.

Tending Temptations, First and Reader are "Just Friends", calling them by their name and Prince Twilight- *takes a deep breath* What it I just die? Those are also a one shot and drabble that will need their own post, but let's just say that the frequency I reach when I read any of them and makes me way too soft and should probably only be heard by small mice, because I adore the way you portray Time and Twilight and First specially given there's maybe only one other author who writes them as well (shout out to Dreaming of Lu and their impeccable Time and First takes) and I love the way you write Twilight with all my heart, I don't think there's anyone who's come as close to delighting me when writing him so really, thank you so much for all your work in the fandom!

And finally, if predictably, the Fairy Tale and Dragon au, Dragon au will have to be it's own thing but I feel like the Fairy Tale au is probably a bit self explanatory since I'm writing a series based on it xD, but also I really like seeing the Links throw into a sudden situation and how they'll adapt and react to it and a great way to do that is to throw them into Fairy Tales we know or even in myths (*cough cough* Just saying, Twilight would kill it as Tam Lin and Time would make an amazing Odysseus) and you have some really unique ideas, so definitely a must read and what inspired me into trying to expand on it in greater detail (when life isn't kicking me in the ribs that is).

Overall, you're a great writer, and reading your stuff after bad days is an almost sure fire way to brighten my day and to make anyone's day, so thank you for all your work in the fandom! Hope you're doing well!

-Just an Anon on a Stroll 🐚/WintertimeStoryteller.

Dreaming of Lu is truly a master of their craft.

I'm glad you enjoyed the Fear Room so much! I don't write horror! Hardly ever! XD I thought I would have botched it.

And I'm sure you'll be happy to know that an expansion of Legend's segment for Fairytale au is queued up for later this year and that Dragon au is also getting a full sized fic expansion beginning in August. (Warrior centric, but I digress. XD)

I'm glad you enjoy the way I write Twilight though! He's one of my favorite so I'm happy to do him justice. :D

#pinky replies #thanks for letting me know #<3 #always happy to hear from you :D #i like your thoughts