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antoine-roquentin · 3 years

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I collect Soviet newspapers. Years ago, I used to travel to Moscow’s Izmailovsky flea market every few weeks, hooking up with a dealer who crisscrossed the country digging up front pages from the Cold War era. I have Izvestia’s celebration of Gagarin’s flight, a Pravda account of a 1938 show trial, even an ancient copy of Ogonyek with Trotsky on the cover that someone must have taken a risk to keep.

These relics, with dramatic block fonts and red highlights, are cool pieces of history. Not so cool: the writing! Soviet newspapers were wrought with such anvil shamelessness that it’s difficult to imagine anyone ever read them without laughing. A good Soviet could write almost any Pravda headline in advance. What else but “A Mighty Demonstration of the Union of the Party and the People” fit the day after Supreme Soviet elections? What news could come from the Spanish civil war but “Success of the Republican Fleet?” Who could earn an obit headline but a “Faithful Son of the Party”?

Reality in Soviet news was 100% binary, with all people either heroes or villains, and the villains all in league with one another (an SR was no better than a fascist or a “Right-Trotskyite Bandit,” a kind of proto-horseshoe theory). Other ideas were not represented, except to be attacked and deconstructed. Also, since anything good was all good, politicians were not described as people at all but paragons of limitless virtue — 95% of most issues of Pravda or Izvestia were just names of party leaders surrounded by lists of applause-words, like “glittering,” “full-hearted,” “wise,” “mighty,” “courageous,” “in complete moral-political union with the people,” etc.

Some of the headlines in the U.S. press lately sound suspiciously like this kind of work:

— Biden stimulus showers money on Americans, sharply cutting poverty

— Champion of the middle class comes to the aid of the poor

— Biden's historic victory for America

The most Soviet of the recent efforts didn’t have a classically Soviet headline. “Comedians are struggling to parody Biden. Let’s hope this doesn’t last,” read the Washington Post opinion piece by Richard Zoglin, arguing that Biden is the first president in generations who might be “impervious to impressionists.” Zoglin contended Biden is “impregnable” to parody, his voice being too “devoid of obvious quirks,” his manner too “muted and self-effacing” to offer comedians much to work with. He was talking about this person:

Forget that the “impregnable to parody” pol spent the last campaign year jamming fingers in the sternums of voters, challenging them to pushup contests, calling them “lying dog-faced pony soldiers,” and forgetting what state he was in. Biden, on the day Zoglin ran his piece, couldn’t remember the name of his Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, and referred to the Department of Defense as “that outfit over there”:

It doesn’t take much looking to find comedians like James Adomian and Anthony Atamaniuk ab-libbing riffs on Biden with ease. He checks almost every box as a comic subject, saying inappropriate things, engaging in wacky Inspector Clouseau-style physical stunts (like biting his wife’s finger), and switching back and forth between outbursts of splenetic certainty and total cluelessness. The parody doesn’t even have to be mean — you could make it endearing cluelessness. But to say nothing’s there to work with is bananas.

The first 50 days of Biden’s administration have been a surprise on multiple fronts. The breadth of his stimulus suggests a real change from the Obama years, while hints that this administration wants to pick a unionization fight with Amazon go against every tendency of Clintonian politics. But it’s hard to know what much of it means, because coverage of Biden increasingly resembles official press releases, often featuring embarrassing, Soviet-style contortions.

When Biden decided not to punish Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Salman for the murder of Washington Post writer Jamal Khashoggi on the grounds that the “cost” of “breaching the relationship with one of America’s key Arab allies” was too high, the New York Times headline read: “Biden Won’t Penalize Saudi Crown Prince Over Khashoggi’s Killing, Fearing Relations Breach.” When Donald Trump made the same calculation, saying he couldn’t cut ties because “the world is a very dangerous place” and “our relationship is with the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia,” the paper joined most of the rest of the press corps in howling in outrage.

“In Extraordinary Statement, Trump Stands With Saudis Despite Khashoggi Killing.” was the Times headline, in a piece that said Trump’s decision was “a stark distillation of the Trump worldview: remorselessly transactional, heedless of the facts, determined to put America’s interests first, and founded on a theory of moral equivalence.” The paper noted, “Even Mr. Trump’s staunchest allies on Capitol Hill expressed revulsion.”

This week, in its “Crusader for the Poor” piece, the Times described Biden’s identical bin Salman decision as mere evidence that he remains “in the cautious middle” in his foreign policy. The paper previously had David Sanger dig up a quote from former Middle East negotiator Dennis Ross, who “applauded Mr. Biden for ‘trying to thread the needle here… This is the classic example of where you have to balance your values and your interests.’” It’s two opposite takes on exactly the same thing.

The old con of the Manufacturing Consent era of media was a phony show of bipartisanship. Legitimate opinion was depicted as a spectrum stretching all the way from “moderate” Democrats (often depicted as more correct on social issues) to “moderate” Republicans (whose views on the economy or war were often depicted as more realistic). That propaganda trick involved constantly narrowing the debate to a little slice of the Venn diagram between two established parties. Did we need to invade Iraq right away to stay safe, as Republicans contended, or should we wait until inspectors finished their work and then invade, as Democrats insisted?

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princelyhelp · 2 years

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Hi I'm not sure if it's alright if I ask you about this or not (if not then you can delete this message ofc!) but I've been roleplaying for around 10+ years but I've never been an admin before (or a co admin) but I really want to open a rp group cause I have so many exciting ideas for a rp, dedication and plenty of free time, but I kind of feel like it's too late for me to admin for the first time? Idk what I'm doing, I will definitely do something wrong and I'm sure that people won't take me seriously 😣 is it too late for me to do this? And if not, do you know any guides about running a rp in 2022? Thank you so much!

ofc it's fine to ask me this!! i need you to know that it's NEVER too late to be admin, like ever. if you want to open a rp then do it!!! GO FOR IT!!! I'M ROOTING FOR YOU!!!! just know that while it's a lot of fun being an admin, there's a lot that goes into and sometimes, you're gonna find yourself annoyed with some people. but that's okay!! you're human, it's natural to be annoyed by anons who don't read over stuff before they ask you stupid questions like Is ThIs RoLePlAy AcTiVe type shit. and who cares if you mess up, you're human, that's what we do. but you learn from your mistakes and aim to do better. so if you mess up as an admin, apologize and take ownership for your mistake and do better. it's okay!! no one is gonna judge you ( we only judge racist and homophobic admins <3 ).

As for guides, here are some that i found in the tags!

Admin tips! What Makes or Breaks a Roleplay?

Essential Pages for the Main

Things Admins Should Do Before AND After Opening a Roleplay

Different RP Tags ( avoid using literate rp or lsrp bc fuck them bitches )

How to Write Prompts and Tasks

How to Make Your Roleplay Inclusive

How Rigby Runs a Roleplay

Writing an Event

And then tips from me! The girl who went from running a rp on Crunchyroll to Tumblr!

Optional! If you want to work with others, you could see if anyone wants to help you. You can either ask friends or ask strangers, whichever works for you. Just make sure to set up proper boundaries and make sure everyone is on the same page.

Since you're a new admin, I recommend putting a cap on how many members you want. That way you can get used to handling a rp without overwhelming yourself with muns and muses. A nice cap would be 10 to 15.

Use other rps as inspiration. Look at what pages they have, how they set up their main, and how they advertise their groups. Also check out what themes groups are using, though I recommend avoiding container themes with small font because those aren't accessible.

Be a fun admin. Like, be,,,, professional in a way, but also have fun!! Go stupid go crazy when you're advertising, use memes, come up with wacky ways to get people to look at you. Like I LITERALLY created the "cool rp" "swag rp" and "swawesome rp" tags,,,,, and guess what??? ANOTHER RP IS ALSO USING THOSE TAGS!!! not saying im a trendsetter but,,,, i'm a trendsetter

Discord Server/OOC blog! Okay, this is def hit or miss. Discord servers can be great, it allows everyone to talk to each other, you can post events and tasks in them, etc etc. I love them but others don't, which is so valid. Discord servers and just ooc chats can be overwhelming or people might feel left out because of them. It really depends on what you want to do, just be aware of the pros and cons.

Be a prime example when it comes to having diverse muses. Like for me, when I'm looking at a rp, I see how many black muses they have because I refuse to join a rp and be the only one with a black muse,,,, like absolutely not OAIGJAIGAIA But if you start off with a diverse muse (AND KEEP IT GOING!!!), it'll pull more people into checking out your rp.

Just create your rp and stick to it. It's gonna be tough at first, you might not get a lot of people joining but I promise you, when you stick it out and keep promoting yourself,,,, you're gonna love it because the apps will be flowing in!!! Just believe in yourself.

And that's it! Hopefully that was helpful anon <3

#rpt #rph #rp guide #the prince speaks #idk if any of that made sense #i wrote half of it without my glasses so the screen was very much blurry #me: why cant i see anything #me five minutes later: DUH KASHIA YOUR HEART EYES ARE ON THE TABLE #anyways if you need someone to check over your main just send me a message!!!#it'll take me a minute to get back to you but i promise that i will #okay now i go eat some food

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thewritinggrindstone · 4 years

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How to Format Your Finished Manuscript

as written by a perpetually flabbergasted editor

Congratulations, you’ve finished a manuscript! That monumental achievement alone deserves a reward. Please get yourself something delicious—don’t worry, I can wait.

Back? Awesome, because it’s time to talk about an important step of the prepublishing and/or pre-editing process, and that is how to format your manuscript.

When you’re writing your manuscript, it’s likely you have a unique setup. Fancy fonts, different text and document background colors, your preferred way of formatting the document—all elements work together to create a comfortable writing space where you can be your most creative.

As both a writer and editor, I have no problems with writers going wild with their documents’ technical aspects while they’re drafting—I do exactly the same thing when drafting. But when it comes time to share your project with other people—especially professionals in the publishing world—your snazzy setup is no longer going to be a benefit. I could share horror stories relating to document setup, from thousands of spaces used instead of the tab key to wacky file conversion issues.

Please don’t make your editor’s job any harder than it needs to be. Fancy formatting looks great, but it can be a nightmare to undo and wastes time that your editor could otherwise spend polishing the words themselves rather than what’s around them. It’s also significantly easier to work with a document that adheres to a standard format because it’s easier to catch mistakes that way—the editor isn’t distracted trying to wrangle extra spaces and text appearing in other languages.

Most publishing houses have what are called submission guidelines. Read them. Follow them. There’s little chance your manuscript is exempt from the rules, and believe me when I say authors who flaunt the guidelines don’t win the respect of the people who are working on their manuscripts.

If the publisher/editing service you’re submitting to doesn’t have obvious guidelines, first ask about them. They might have preferences. If not, as follows are some basic standard practices in North American publishing.

First off, if you can’t bear to give up your fancy writing setup, create a new copy of your document specifically for editing/submitting. Clearly label it as such. Make sure you implement any changes to this for-editing/submitting document, not just your fancy original.

Page and text setup:

Remove any document background images/page colors.

Change the entire document’s font to Times New Roman point 12. Make it black. Not dark gray, not dark brown—black.

Set the margins to one inch on all sides. This is Microsoft Word’s default document format, but not enough submitted manuscripts use it. Remember: layout for publishing comes after editing, not before. Editors are liable to completely change your document’s pretty formatting to industry standards anyway.

Set the document’s orientation to portrait, not landscape.

Center all section and chapter titles (e.g., Table of Contents, Chapter 1, Acknowledgements, About the Author, etc.).

Remove all double spaces from the file. Seriously. This is an incredibly easy step. Do not make your overworked, underpaid editor do this incredibly trivial and time-consuming task for you. Especially if you are using double spaces to indent or center content. If you, for some reason, are using the space bar to indent or center content, please stop what you are doing and follow these steps:

Use your word processor’s “center text” function. In programs like Word, this can be done by hitting Control + E. (Ctrl + L and Ctrl + R, respectively, align text left and right.) Do not justify your text unless the guidelines demand it.

Use the tab key to indent paragraphs.

But bear in mind that sometimes this can result in a “tab” character existing at the beginning of a paragraph. This is bad. Preferably, set the entire document to a 0.5-inch indent and delete all tab characters.

Seriously, though, you should be searching every document before you send it out or copy it to an online format for double spaces. Make this a good habit, and you’ll ensure you set yourself apart as a cut above the other writers out there.

Set the entire document’s line spacing to double.

Front matter, chapters, and back matter should be separated by page breaks, not by a series of blank lines.

If you really want to delight your editor or anyone else who needs to work on your manuscript, consider removing all leading and trailing spaces from the document (link embedded).

Style elements:

Run spell check. This sounds obvious, but trust me, I’ve received manuscripts riddled with obvious spelling errors. If you write with spell check off for one reason or another, turn it back on when you’re getting ready to send a document out. Make a full pass on the document, and pay attention to every instance of that red squiggle.

Make sure you’re spelling the names of your characters and places consistently. I’ve seen Matt become Mike in the next paragraph, and Donilo become Donillo. Editors’ trust in the author’s abilities to do anything with competence drop drastically when we find these kinds of careless errors.

Similarly, either use the American spellings or the British spellings. Be consistent.

Separate your scenes with fleuron breaks. Three centered asterisks (***) used without spaces is the most common method of creating a fleuron break and the one I recommend using, although sometimes three number signs/hashes (###) can be acceptable. Do not use fancy symbols or symbols created through special fonts. They will not carry through if your editor changes your entire document to Times New Roman.

Optional change: remove the indent from the first paragraph in a chapter or after a scene break.

Make a point of using punctuation consistently. If you’re going to use the oxford comma, use it every time. Use a single dash consistently. Punctuate dialogue properly.

Improperly punctuated dialogue is one of the most common errors editors fix. There are only a few basic rules, covered here (link embedded), so please make an effort to learn and use them.

Use paragraphs properly. New speaker = new paragraph. New subject = new paragraph.

Once again, if you really want to delight your editor, change all hyphens between number ranges to en dashes. 3-5 days will become 3–5 days.

Correctly title your document. The title isn’t somehow going to magically change from StupidProject.docx or afhuowjfoa;wijef.docx to TheHungerGames.docx between your submitting it and other people reading the title.

If possible, use the .docx file format.

I want to wrap this up by saying that yes, editors are here to catch the mistakes you’ve missed, and we invariably have obscure technical knowledge that most writers don’t know exists (in Greek, the question mark is represented by a semicolon), but it’s your job as the writer to put your best effort forward. Also bear in mind that not all editors get paid to handle formatting issues but are expected to resolve them anyway. Fixing these basic issues yourself or, better yet, not creating them at all will help both you and your editor(s) ensure the version of the book you put out is the best possible version.

#writing #writeblr #punctuation #manuscript formatting #editing #grammar #publishing #advice #red talks

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grailfinders · 3 years

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Fate and Phantasms #166

Bonjour and Bienvenue boys and belles to another bit on the BB Channel! For today we’re building the boisterous baroness of bacchanalia as one bit Berserk Bewitchment Bloodline, one bit Battery Builder, all for badass beatdowns! All this brouhaha is to say we’re building and buffing the beauteous brat known as BB.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet here!

Next up: Hacking the planet? I think you misheard.

Race and Background

The evil AI from the moon BB is about as Custom a Lineage as they come, giving you +1 Dexterity and Intelligence. She also comes packed with Darkvision to dunk on those foolish human eyes and the Lucky feat to tip the scales in your favor by re-rolling attacks, checks, or saves that directly involve you three times per long rest. Games aren’t fun if they’re fair, silly!

Again, Evil AI from The Moon isn’t going to be a background you can find in most games of D&D. That being said, she certainly likes to put on shows of life and death, so once you get past their obsession with fire I’d bet she’d find a lot of common ground with Rakdos Cultists. This gives her proficiency with Acrobatics and Performance so you too can twirl around on stage and put a little flair into your attacks.

This background also gives you an additional bunch of spells to tack onto your spell lists. When you unlock spellcasting in the first place, you get Fire Bolt, Vicious Mockery, Burning Hands, Dissonant Whispers, and Hellish Rebuke. Your free second level spells are Crown of Madness, Enthrall, and Flaming Sphere. Third level is Fear and Haste, fourth is Confusion and Wall of Fire, and your free fifth level spell is Dominate Person. Don’t look at me like that, how else are you going to keep your daughters in line? BB doesn’t rely on fire that much -yet- but the other spells are absolutely in her wheelhouse. And giving a computer virus a fire wall is just plain funny.

Ability Scores

As a hyper-advanced AI from the future, it’d be a little weird if your Intelligence wasn’t your highest ability score. Your smarts are almost as obvious as how great a kouhai you are, so make your Charisma the next highest. Your Dexterity is pretty good too- that outfit probably isn’t armor, at least not in the practical sense. Your Constitution isn’t too bad either. The saying goes, “if it bleeds, you can kill it,” but you’re made out of data so you don’t bleed at all. Your Strength isn’t anything to write home about, but you can warp reality, so why would you need to lift? Dump Wisdom. You’re not exactly the most stable person in Chaldea.

Class Levels

1. Artificer 1: First level artificers get Magical Tinkering, so now you can put minor magical effects into tiny objects. Most of them probably aren’t that practical, but every event shop needs some junk.

You can also cast Spells this level, using your Intelligence to prepare and cast them. On top of your rakdos spells, you can use Lightning Lure and Mage Hand to mess with people. You can also prepare first level spells, like Identify to scan enemies for their status effects, Tasha’s Caustic Brew to re-enact your extra attack card, and Cure Wounds for a bit of maintenance on your spirit origin. It takes work to look this good, y’know!

Finally, you get proficiency with Constitution and Intelligence saves, as well as Arcana and Medicine. You were built to look after humans, and you obviously know a lot about tech.

2. Artificer 2: Second level artificers can Infuse Items to turn dumb ol’ mundane objects into magical objects! You learn four infusions right now, but you can only keep two of them available at a time, and you can swap them out between long rests. Really lean into it, make the rest of the party fight for the affection of their kouhai.

As far as your actual infusions go, Mind Sharpener is a great one for spellcasters, letting them force their concentration to stick even if they fail a save as a reaction. You can also use an Enhanced Arcane Focus to make your spells even stronger. For magic items, the classic Bag of Holding is always in fashion, and Sending Stones will help bring party communication into the 21st century.

3. Sorcerer 1: Being smart is nice, but it’s time to make things a bit more.. interesting. As a sorcerer, you get another Spell list that uses your Charisma to cast. You also get your own home game version of BB slots thanks to your Wild Magic Surge. When you cast a sorcerer spell that uses a spell slot, your DM can make you roll a d20. On a one, you then have to roll on the wild magic surge table.

If that’s not wacky enough for you, the Tides of Chaos can speed things up. Once per long rest, you gain advantage on one attack, check, or save of your choice. Your DM can also force you to roll on the WMS table when you’d normally get a WMS to recharge it.

You get cantrips like Friends, to make friends with Senpai; Message, to send calls to Senpai; Light, to help with Senpai’s dumb human eyes; and Minor Illusion, for some cheap holograms. For first level spells, Mage Armor makes that outfit less of a tactical issue, and Tasha’s Caustic Brew frees up some prep slots for artificer spells.

4. Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers are Fonts of Magic, giving you sorcery points equal to your sorcerer level each long rest. Right now they can be used to refill spell slots, or you can empty spell slots to get more points.

You can also cast Magic Missile for some caster balls. I know you’re not a caster, but you do run around with a magic wand, it’s not that wild a concept.

5. Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers get second level spells, as well as Metamagic to make them a little bit more you flavored. Distant Spell doubles the range of a spell (or gives it a range of 30′ if it’s touch), while Subtle Spell lets you cast a spell without all that vocal or somatic component nonsense. Why waste time chanting when you could spend it narrating?

You can also cast Enhance Ability to alter your data in favor of one kind of skill checks, gaining advantage on them for the duration. You also double your carrying capacity for strength checks, avoid small falling damage with dexterity checks, or gain temporary HP with constitution checks.

6. Sorcerer 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Charisma to make Senpai notice you. And also to make your sorcerer spells harder to avoid.

You can also cast Prestidigitation to make more small magical effects, or Alter Self to further improve your being. When you cast it, you pick one of three modes. Mode 1 gives you a swimming speed and the ability to breathe underwater. Mode 2 lets you change appearance as an action for the duration, and Mode 3 lets you grow Natural Weapons that are magical against resistances. Honestly Mode 3′s a bad matchup for you, but you’re an independent AI who don’t need no humanity, I’ll let you make your own decisions.

7. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers get Magical Guidance, letting you spend 1 sorcery point to re-roll a failed skill check. You can also cast third level spells like Dispel Magic to bonk Kiara back into horny jail. Probably. We haven’t built her yet, still not entirely sure how that’s going to work.

8. Sorcerer 6: Sixth level wild mages can Bend Luck, using their reaction and 2 sorcery points to add or subtract 1d4 to another creature’s attack, check, or save. You love playing games, but more in the ‘dungeon master’ sense.

You can also cast Clairvoyance to set up your very own BB channel studio wherever you’ve been before.

9. Artificer 3: Third level artificers can always find the Right Tool for the Job, creating whatever tools you might need over the course of a short rest. Thanks to being an Artillerist, you can also bring one of those weird geometric enemies from the CCC event to the battlefield in the form of an Eldritch Cannon, creating a freestanding small cannon or a handheld tiny one. They’re pretty customizable, but they all come in one of three flavors. Flamethrowers deal AoE fire damage, Force Ballistas deal single-target force damage and throw people around, and Protectors give out temporary HP.

You also get the freebie spells Shield and Thunderwave.

10. Artificer 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Intelligence for better artificer spells.

11. Sorcerer 7: Seventh level sorcerers get fourth level spells, like Ego Whip! If your target fails an intelligence save, they get disadvantage on all attacks, checks, and saves, and it can’t cast spells. At the end of each turn it can try to make another intelligence save (still at disadvantage), but tbh most creatures aren’t that bright compared to you.

12. Sorcerer 8: Another ASI already? Bump up your Charisma to make it even harder to break out of your ego whip, and also grab Banishment so you can deal with that giant pain in your behind, Kingprotea (note: this level description does not contain the opinions of fateandphantasms. fateandphantasms does not condone any kind of Kingprotea hating.)

13. Sorcerer 9: Fifth level spell time! Grab Creation so you can warp reality and make pretty much whatever you might need out of thin air!

14. Artificer 5: Fifth level artillerists can make Arcane Firearms this level, adding 1d8 to artificer spell damage cast from a specific focus. This also means that your artificer spells and sorcerer spells can finally come out of the same wand, though I doubt most DMs would care to correct you before now.

You can also cast the freebie spells Scorching Ray and Shatter now, since you can learn 2nd level artificer spells. Use Heat Metal if you’re feeling sadistic, Invisibility or Spider Climb for some hacks, or grab Lesser Restoration for some cursed cupid cleansing.

15. Artificer 6: Your Tool Expertise doubles the proficiency of all tool-based checks, but you also get two more infusions, and one more concurrent infusion to boot! A Spell-Refueling Ring will give you more energy to deal with your many, many, problem children, while a Radiant Weapon will just make your wand shinier. Not that it’s a bad reason to grab it.

16. Artificer 7: At seventh level, you can speed up your processors to have Flashes of Genius, using your reaction to add your intelligence modifier to an ability check or saving throw nearby. You can use this Intelligence Modifier times per long rest.

17. Sorcerer 10: Your newest metamagic option lets you twin spells, turning a one-target spell into a two target spell. Now you can keep both your daughters under control at once with one casting of Dominate Person!

You also get the Mending cantrip, because let’s be real your outfit probably doesn’t look as good as it did 17 levels ago. Finally, you get the spell Far Step to bip and bop all over the place as you see fit. Remember, if you teleport off camera it’s not cheating!

18. Sorcerer 11: Eleventh level sorcerers get sixth level spells, like Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise! If you’re going to wear a nurse outfit, it might as well come with superpowers. You get immunities to certain damages and conditions, you can fly, your AC goes up, and your weapon attacks use your spellcasting modifier, are magical, and you can attack twice per action. Ramming a giant needle into somebody never felt so right!

19. Sorcerer 12: For your last ASI, grab the Tough feat. All these sorcerer levels have not done your HP total any favors.

20. Sorcerer 13: Your capstone level nets you a seventh level spell, so grab Plane Shift so you can finally escape the Mooncell and show Senpai all the hard work you’ve done!

Pros:

You have a ton of ways to cheat at dice, manipulating the world to always work in your favor. Re-roll dice with magical guidance and lucky, or just stick a finger on the scale with bend luck and flash of genius. Either way, your party will be thankful to have you.

You also make a decent variety caster thanks to the variety of technological goodies at your disposal. Support team communication with sending stones, spy on people with clairvoyance, create whatever the party might need with creation, or just blow people up with thunderwave and your eldritch cannon. You come packing a little bit of everything.

You’re particularly good at shutting down one or two opponents, with Ego Whip destroying their ability to do much of anything, Enthrall and Fear keeping you their main focus, or Banishment shoving them out of existence entirely.

Cons:

Those wild magic surges can bite you in the ass just as much as they help you, so try to make sure you don’t spin a bankrupt on the BB slots. Seriously though they can straight up kill your entire party at level 1. Don’t be unlucky.

Having a bit of everything means you aren’t focused on any one thing. Builds like Ishtar and -god help me- Mephistopheles?? beat you in magic damage, Scheherazade and Kogil beat you for utility, and Medea Lily and Irisviel beat you for healing. It must be nice to have so many senpais though!

Trying to keep on top of all those checks and saves means you’ll burn through your sorcery points really fast, so just... don’t push yourself too hard, you might not like what happens when you run out of power.

#fate grand order #fgo #D&D 5e #DND #BB #Sorcerer #Artificer

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steve0discusses · 3 years

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S5 Ep5: Female Friends

So I was up hella late because of Daylight Savings screwing my sleep schedule, and I was on Twitch and one of the people I follow was speedrunning a Yugioh game (I think it was called Forbidden Memories like it was some Romance YA novel) and I was like “that’s a thing?” And I watched about 15 minutes of just complete nonsense. Like this game makes no sense when your scrubbing through 30 minutes of gameplay, but when a whole game takes 45 seconds and they have mechanics using like planets and astrology symbols? What?

What?

Y’all, I’m a little concerned your card game ain’t real. Like this is some ploy by knowing adults and this is some sort of Santa Claus situation where everyone else knows that this game ain’t real, but I’m the last person alive who’s like... “it is real though, right?” Hoping that I haven’t been played all of these years, despite having literally no empirical evidence that it is.

Just saying, I’m on to you, Yugioh.

Thanks dub.

I am pretty convinced (could be wrong) but pretty convinced that Grandpa was probably just normal horny in this scene. Like it just kinda matches what I know about horny grandpa tropes (that and Vivian is really talked up to be this hot stuff although she’s just youknow...some girl who exists.)

He immediately falls over. Like immediately, and I don’t know what’s up with Grandpa’s weird slipped disc, but luckily this is the one thing that Mokuba is prepared to deal with as a park manager.

Or what was his job again, Master of Ceremonies? That was the name of Mokuba’s actual chosen job that a 12-13 yo would choose?

Only Mokuba would have the choice to choose “a literal astronaut” and not choose an astronaut. This kid probably hates space though, with his family’s countless war machines now currently flying through the void.

The amount of times that the Kaibas have had to call a doctor for these guys.

(read more under the cut)

Bro was like “So Hawkins paid Grandpa to pretend to fall down so they could ditch Rebecca’s duel, right?” and youknow...probably. It was a pretty boring duel. They got off scott free.

Rex and Weevil do cartoon antics that actually feel like cartoon antics--which feels so weird for this show. Of course, it also has this Vivian plotline that is a little sus for a children’s show?

OK, show. You keep throwing women at Yugi Muto, and I get it’s a joke because he’s the world’s most undateable boy but there is a line of plausibility that even for a kid’s cartoon show it’s like “eh, probably not.”

Anyway, Vivian has Cho Chang energy of “I’m here for a problematic romantic conflict that never needed to happen and hamfisted diversity and uhhhhhh that’s it! I won’t exist after book 5!”

What a step down from dueling on top of the train, right? Like this whole time you could have just dueled next to it? What? In this show?

The rest of the party show up to the train station, where there’s really no other audience watching. Like where are Rebecca’s adoring fans who were asking for her autograph like 3 episodes back?

Card culture is brutal, y’all.

Vivian is not drawn like a 16 yo, being real. I was pretty surprised that she was under 25 according to a cursory Google search. Course, Joey Wheeler is drawn like a built adult, too, so I think the only convincing teenage child on this show is Pharaoh because at least he’s short. Just ignore how sometimes he’s got muscles on his arms that have no right to be there at the age of 16. (17?)

Then we had like a little Season Zero vibes where everyone just picks on Yugi for a hot minute.

And so Tea’s character development comes full circle as she realizes that this whole time, the Female Friend she needed was already here in the form of that small child who has a crush on her kinda boyfriend.

This was such an episode written by a bunch of dudes.

But at least Rebecca and Tea found something in common, although I really wish it wasn’t Yugi, considering how little on screen development he has with either of them. Where’s the reward for me as the viewer? If I cared about either of this love pentagon at all (well, hexagon...Bakura’s still in there.) there will never be a payout. You very well may be waiting forever for a relationship the writers clearly had never any intention to ever write except to act as a foil for our protagonists instead of like...a relationship.

And the show seems a little inconsistent with the relationship between Rebecca and Tea, too. They hang out a lot as the girls on the sideline, and appear to get along a lot of the time--but then they hate eachother a lot of the time as well because of jealousy? It’s just so weird.

I feel like TV shows in general have a really hard time approaching girl friendships, and speaking as a girl, I wish TV and books recognized more that our female friendships don’t have to be so freakin serious. We just act friendly and that’s freakin it.

That and these girls are going to go right back to hating eachother half the time after this is over because the main problem--Yugi not piping up and telling one of them to back the hell off--has never been addressed and never will be because Yugi is a broken, broken wet blanket.

Back at the base, Seto is also making up his own problems to be upset about in the absence of any apocalypses happening on screen.

Unless that hacker is Noah Kaiba, you’re probably fine. I really haven’t had too much of a reason to feel any fear over Zigfried von Schroeder. And maybe it’s because his character design was pretty complicated so no one wanted to draw it.

This was a ‘who’s on first’ joke but still.

...why do cards have to be like this?

Also, I didn’t see anything about this nonsense in the speedrun I watched the other night so, guys, this game ain’t real.

Anyway, Rebecca won.

We find out a little more of what happens to other duelists. Our Cowboy lost to a Sherlock Holmes boy, and I was very happy that I don’t have to come up with jokes about country music because I have none other than like...Taylor Swift jokes? Does she still count as country? I have no idea what’s going on in the country music scene.

On other side of the park, Yugioh decide to pay another tribute to the creative crotch shot with one of these:

Rex and Weevil are off to fight the big bad, and when you think “OK, we’re gonna get a wacky duel battle with these two balancing on top of eachother,” they kinda whiffed it before they made it to the stage.

And then I kind of whiffed it when I realized that Mokuba and Weevil have never spoken in the same place before and they have the same exact font color so fml.

The fact that Mokuba didn’t realize anything was wrong until they fell and revealed they were two small adults in a trench coat says a lot about most of the competitors in this duel.

It is incredible how both the Battle City Tournament and the Kaiba Corp Tourney (s that it’s name?) are both poorly managed, but in a different way. The Battle City Tourney unfortunately had a bunch of murderers in it. This tournament, no one is killing eachother, but they are still kind of sneaking in through the back door and being chronically late to everything.

(and I just want to point out that after the last match Mokuba oversaw that had Joey nearly miss the appointment, Mokuba decided to set this one in front of a Giant Clock just to get his point across)

So Zigfried has some sort of flying horse card that wiped them out right away, which makes you wonder........

.............why use any other cards?

Kaiba makes these cards, right????

Like he should be the last person who’s surprised????

Anyway, Zigfried top-decked a horse, and the guy who spends about 15 minutes getting ready his big ol blue eyes dragons every match he’s ever played was like “Yo I have GOT to get into speedrunning!”

And yes, the speedrun I was watching did not use Blue Eyes White Dragons. They were using a bunch of other stuff that I tried to look up just now and the art is completely different from what I recall so...unfortunately that means that your game is fake. Pretty sure it’s fake and you have no way to prove to me this is real.

Anyway, that’s it for now, not much to say since we’re still at the beginning of the arc. Next week I guess we’ll find out if Seto ever removes his ass from this chair.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

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anxiety-banana · 3 years

Text

I’m going through my google drive (bc google’s being a butt and telling me i don’t have space-), which I’ve had for five years. Now, for some context, I don’t like just about anything I wrote before 2020. That leaves three years of cringy writing projects, audio files, and old photos. And much, much, more.

(keep in mind, most everything I wrote as a middle schooler I shared with my friends. They got to experience e v e r y t h i n g)

Here’s the running list of freaky things I’ve found:

-A Spiderman fic I wrote before I knew what fanfiction was

-Not one, not two, but three writing assignments where I had to write about my favorite book character. They’re all about Hermione, and they’re all hilariously terrible (I think I gave @ashgryff a heart attack when i showed them to her)

-My first self insert/projection story! The main character “Carrie” was discovered for her singing and guitar playing when she was twenty five, by playing in a cafe in her hometown.

-4000 words of an end of the world story where the main character’s love interest was the immortal brother of her adoptive father. don’t ask.

-An audio recording of me, singing Into The Unknown, in the echoey stairway of my old house

-A document titled “Butterfly”, with the only content being a recipe for waffles

-A picture of me and my kindergarten teacher. I look incredibly uncomfortable.

-A legend of Zelda fanfiction my friend wrote (and he tole ME fanfiction was lame. there’s ten thousand words of that thing written, with a full book cover)

-My library’s employee dress code (I worked there over the summer) that I typed up in thirty seconds flat while my supervisor was out of the room because I realized I didn’t have it

-Chords and lyrics to two separate Studio C sketches (and yes i can play and sing the entirety of “Everything Sounds Nicer When You Sing”)

-My weird, confusing version of Kung Fu Panda, but human, and I basically made myself into the main character. I had an obsession with injuring my favorite characters in 2018 too!

-Merlin fanfiction! An unfortunate amount of Merlin fanfiction. I had a celebrity crush on Colin Morgan, what can I say (can’t say i’m completely over it but shhhh 🤫)

-A retelling of the Myth Of King Arthur and Merlin, where Merlin is actually Meril, and a woman??.

-A story I basically mooched off of Pinterest, changed a few things, then showed to my dad to get him off my back about wanting to see what I wrote. He still thinks I wrote it

-2019′s failed NaNoWriMo that has the single best piece of writing I’ve ever done, surrounded by three thousand words of stuff I hate

-The Phoenician alphabet key

-Every photo taken for my sixth grade photography class. Every. Single. Photo.

-A photo I found of someone’s grave who had my name. Loving wife and mother!

-Three installations of the podcast I “was going to start” in seventh grade

-So much bad poetry

-Psalm 150, typed out in that font that makes it easier for someone with dyslexia to read (??? idk either)

-A short story I wrote about me and my friend going on a road trip when we were eighteen. I entered it in a writing contest. It didn’t win.

-A musical I wrote. I didn’t get past page three, but I wrote two songs for it!

-A story with multiple characters telling stories from first person, and each character had a different font. Each time the story switched to a different person, it switched fonts (Characters included Ariel, Georgia, Indie, and Garamond, aka Gary)

-An empty document, titled “Comedy Sketch Idea (don’t forget)”. Well, I forgot, little me

-A few instalments of a show, where my friend and I would record ourselves as if we were these wacky, radio show hosts. We all had different names and they were all hilariously wacky. I’m never getting rid of those files, ever

-A rip off of Death In Paradise, the main detective being a woman in her twenties, blind, with a guide dog. I was obsessed with two things in seventh grade: Murder Mysteries, and Molly Burke.

-A really depressing story I wrote about having an ED

-MORE sixth grade photography

-An untitled document with nothing but the line “What must I do to show this pain”

-An untitled document with nothing but the line “The brunette looked a little dazed walking into” (no, the sentence wasn’t finished)

-An untitled document with nothing but the line “We were tired of being feared.”

-At least three blank, untitled documents.

I deleted SO many things and I still only got less than ten percent more space

-_-

But this list was fun at least!

#writing #writer problems #author #author problems #this took up two hours of my life but it was wicked fun #I'm gonna regret deleting everything I did #but too bad ig #google's a butt #that's my excuse

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ayearofpike · 5 years

Text

Thirst No. 4: The Shadow of Death

Simon Pulse, 2011 492 pages, 28 chapters + epilogue ISBN 978-1-4424-1319-1 LOC: PZ7.P626 Th 2011 OCLC: 731720997 Released August 9, 2011 (per B&N)

The immortal Sita has died. Only not — her soul still lives, in the body of her descendant. How did this happen? In seeking the answer, Sita will learn the secret to defeating the ancient race that imperils humanity. The search won’t be easy, though. Sita must traverse time and space, heaven and hell, the physical and the spiritual, and what the hell is even going on my head hurts.

Honestly, I’m not sure what Pike is going for in this book. Is it trying to be smarter than other authors of the era and genre by bending the rules of continuity? Is it striving for a narrative that is just beyond his reach? Is it just pounding out Another Damn Sita Book against deadline to get that green? It could be any of those. At least it ties up the story of the Telar and the IIC relatively well, although there’s still enough loose ends to keep our vampire going if necessary (and of course it is; Thirst 5 is still on the horizon).

One thing Pike has totally bought into is the arbitrary capitalization of the names of things to make them Important Artifacts. You remember this: probably the impetus was Suzanne Collins, naming specific elements of the Hunger Games to showcase why they were relevant and how the country had accepted them as elements of the competition. But then every single friggin’ YA book about a post-apocalyptic dystopia started adopting the shit. At least Collins tried to come up with catchy names for her Artifacts. The other authors just come up with a word to call something and throw an initial cap on it, and Pike leaps happily aboard the Proper Name Train. And every time you think he’s drilled down to the smallest level of a Category, he names a smaller subgroup that needs its own Capital. Eventually it makes me want to put the Book down and kick the Ass.

Is it obvious I’m teaching again? Not just because I’m going all loco on repetitive cliches, but also because it’s taken me like three weeks to write this.

Let’s just bore down into the summary. We start with Sita in her descendant Teri’s body, awakening to that fact at her own funeral. Apparently she had a couple of days that are just blank or at best hazy, but then Miracle Baby Teen took Teri’s hands and looked into her eyes, and crystallized Sita’s presence. Nobody is sure what this means, exactly, but Sita is feeling blood hunger for the first time in years. The new body doesn’t have the five thousand years of experience and transfusions from multiple vampires and gods and saviors to abate it, after all. So when she gets back to her hotel, she orders room service — only they don’t offer blood. But the delivery boy has some, and dude does she drink it ALL. So then there’s some wacky hijinks as she has to clumsily get the body out of the hotel and dispose of it.

She’s not ready to reveal herself to Immortal Boyfriend yet, though. He was against her turning Teri into a vampire in the first place, remember, and in her weak state she figures he’d kill her. So she carefully and strategically reveals some info like Sita told Teri as they try to figure out what to do about the bigger threats of the virus wielded by the immortals and the crippling mental focus of the monster corporation. The Telar-ites want to focus on mass producing the cure to the virus and getting it distributed, but Sita thinks the only way they can do that is to involve IIC. Someone’s research has turned up that all of the main members were students of the same parapsychology professor at Berkeley(?), and so Sita, Seymour, Miracle Teen’s mom, and the young Indian girl who has been sucked into this life all drive out to meet him.

But before they go, Sita/Teri has to clean up her mess. Apparently she’s not as stealthy as she used to be either, because some dumbass kid saw her taking the room service cart with a body stuffed under it down to the garage, and his mom reported this Olympic champion to the police. So she has to try to wipe out any trace of suspicion from the cops’ minds, as well as finding a safe source of blood to feed on. Turns out one of them has a wife who is a doctor, and after an overreaching act of hypnotism, Sita gets into the hospital blood bank and takes all of it, then goes back home with the doctor and wipes out her memory as well as her husband’s. So it’s cool that she still has her vampire hypnosis, but it’s super clumsy, just like everything else in this new body. And what happened to Teri? Miracle Teen seems to think she’s dead, but that can’t be right. But why not? And if not, how come Sita is so in control?

The professor is quite a font of information, and he sure is scared of the IIC boss. He suggests they go talk to her ex from school, who was one of the major catalysts in the discovery of group-focused mind control via ESP. This dude and his girlfriend are still living in Santa Cruz, and they aren’t at all surprised to find four random diverse strangers at their door. Sita is confused, though, that the math doesn’t add up in regard to how old these people are. According to the research, their studies happened in the ’60s, but there’s no way this dude can be older than 40 when he ought to be knocking on 70. It gets late quickly, and so the couple offers our ramshackle group a couple of rooms for the night. Sita takes the opportunity to decode some more of Original Vampire’s book, and learn more about the deep and true love between him and the Telar he married. She also calls Teri’s parents to check in, and learns that the cops are still looking for her in connection with the missing room service dude, so that sucks.

In the morning, the CEO’s ex tells them more about his research and how IIC stole it to find exactly the right sociopaths to use in its mind-control device. Basically it was an astrological predictor, so that you could tell with a high degree of accuracy what someone would be like and how their extrasensory facility would manifest based on where and when they were born. Sita realizes, all of a sudden, that the creepy kid she ran into at the CEO’s house is actually conceived with this ex, because of his own predilection for ESP and his familiarity with the needs of the astrological predictor. He talks about having been targeted by the device himself, and his girlfriend says that she managed to shake him free by pushing him down the well on the property. They’ve mentioned this well before, and how it provides such amazing water, so now Sita is curious.

She ends up climbing down the bucket rope in the middle of the night, into a vast cavern with a faint glow at one end. Following the light leads her to: her own body. Sita’s body, that is, the one that was supposed to have been buried in Denver. Sitting by it is the astrological researcher’s girlfriend, who Sita immediately realizes is more than she’s revealed herself to be. Yep: it’s Original Vampire’s wife, Immortal Boyfriend’s mom, and one of the oldest and most ancient Telar still in existence. But it’s not like that. She took the body to protect what it holds, not just to keep it from these creepy evils that are trying to get more power but also because — check this shit out — it’s healing.

Sita can get back into her body, Ancient Telar says. All she has to do is let Teri finish dying.

Obviously when he finds out, Immortal Boyfriend is pissed. He is totally ready to murder Sita, without actually ritualizing it so she returns to her body. And Sita knows she deserves it, sort of. She’s as much to blame as anyone for the mess they’re all in, and she loved Teri as much as any of them, maybe even more. So she’s not going to fight back if Immortal Boyfriend exacts his rage. But he can’t do it, and he does realize that having a full-strength Sita will help their cause. So they all end up back down in the cave, where they reconnect the appropriate bodies by ripping Teri’s femoral artery and allowing Sita’s corpse to drink the blood. The transfer happens fast, and lucky for Immortal Boyfriend Teri has just enough consciousness to say goodbye.

I have to step out of summary for a minute to flat-out state how GROSSLY DISSATISFYING this is. Like, for seven books now we’ve known Sita as this inhuman giant, capable of defeating everyone and anything. Now she’s in a newer body, with a younger brain and less experienced reflexes even if it has all her consciousness, and she’s supposed to start figuring out how to overcome that. To just un-write the whole thing and stick her back in her old body not even half a book later strikes me as Pike didn’t want to commit to a decision he’d already made, rather than any kind of grand plan that this was always gonna happen. And yeah, I get it, Sita’s body has all kinds of implications, but why did it have to come back almost immediately? I’d go so far as to say that this makes Teri Raine practically irrelevant to the grander scheme of the story. And it sticks the whole personality quirk we’ve just learned about Sita — where she has followed and cared about her line of descendency, one that never actually seemed believable having read the first six — even deeper into the grave.

So now the gang is all together and ready to carry out their plan. Sita waltzes into the IIC office, releasing the deadly virus as she does so, and makes her demand: use the mind control group to destroy all of the high-ranking Telar or die painfully and frightened today. This is where the Arbitrary Capitalization makes its most insidious entrance. The top Telar, the Source, can meld to form the Link, which makes them unbeatable. But IIC can focus its Array through the Cradle, powered by a smaller group known as the Lens, and at least find where they are. So once she learns a Location, Sita can use her Knowledge to open up a Can of Whoop-Ass. But to join the Lens, she’s required to offer up a sacrifice, and she figures the best candidate is the mole who keeps feeding up information on where the group is, and not least the DNA of Immortal Boyfriend so he could get possessed. Who is it? Probably the math teacher who conveniently keeps not being with the group every time they get attacked. Only as the Lens forces her to climb to the top of Truman College’s bell tower and hurl herself off it, Sita sees inside her mind and knows she was innocent the whole time.

As it happens, she feels claws on her shoulders. Ancient Telar warned her that this would probably happen: in order to tap into the powers of the extrasensory, one has to connect to a Familiar. Sita can see the ones clinging to the kids in the room, but is not permitted to look back at her own, which makes her suspect that it’s probably the most powerful demon of all — a demon that was never actually a demon, but an angel that refused to accept its grace in being less than God and ended up falling into the deepest of despair. Yeah, that one.

She calls back to base and lets her crew know what’s going on, then tries to use her newly replenished powers to fix the police detective whose brain she screwed. Only he starts feeling scared and disturbed, and she realizes that this Familiar that is now attached to her is having a negative effect on her powers. IIC Boss comes in and they talk about the computer game that everyone’s playing, the one about being saved and moving to higher planes of heavenly ability, which is (not coincidentally) being constantly written and updated by the kids in the Lens when they’re not out brain-murdering.

Have I talked about this game before? It feels like I did, but maybe I’m thinking of Alosha. Miracle Teen loves it, and he said his presence in game was literally just to make himself known. But there are obvious creepy levels behind it, and IIC Boss reveals that there is no possible way to delete or destroy the code because of how it’s been embedded into the Internet. What’s it for? We don’t know yet! We do know that there’s significant backmasking and subliminal messages which echo the invocations the Lens uses to get into its power state. So maybe this game somehow charges telepathic batteries? I’m pretty sure this is the last time Pike mentions it in this book.

But now they’re getting ready to attack the major players in the Telar, so they have to work fast and without many breaks. They get two by melting them with too much chlorine in a hot tub, and then there are four in an LA hotel that they attack by forcing one of the guards to disrupt them and break their Link. But before they can kill all the Telar, one invokes a name that throws the psychic connection into the garbage. Sita knows where they are, though, and attacks in person. We get some more Matrix shit as she leaps from a helicopter and uses stairs like trampolines, and she ends up leaving the last Telar alive with a command that he use his high-ranking government contacts to launch a missile strike on a location that she will psychically contact him with in a few hours. That is, once she figures out where the rest of the Source is hiding.

The rest of Team Vampire shows up (well, not Miracle Teen, who is smart enough to keep the hell away from the demon-summoning corporation that would love all of his power) to help Sita fight the final battle. Seymour and Immortal Boyfriend are going to vaccinate the IIC against the virus, which is dormant but not totally gone as Sita’s bargaining chip. Only not the kids in the Cradle and the Lens: Sita has arranged for them to get a full dose of the virus instead, so the company can’t wield its devilish mind-control device with impunity once its primary antagonists are all dead. Yeah, we’re murdering children now. Sweet. Oh, and also, Ancient Telar is also the mother of the leader of the Source, and Sita has learned that you can control someone who is related to the person with the blood (or DNA, or whatever the fuck marker it is they’re actually using) and so attacking the dude might kill her too. It’s a risk Ancient Telar is willing to take.

She joins the Lens, and her sacrifice is the creepy teenager who leads it. Like, she literally breaks his arm and allows his brain to murder himself. Shit, if Sita knew she could do that! They find the Source and realize it’s impenetrable; their shield is too strong and all the kids will break before they can get through. (Like, I’ll murder kids, but not before I’m done using them to murder immortals.) Ancient Telar tells Sita there is a way — she just has to remember what happened after she died. Like it’s that easy.

But she does. Suddenly, we’re back on the mountain, where Sita has just been lasered in the heart. She finds a cave and follows it down forever, until she sees others and decides she needs to follow them. The path leads to a giant river teeming with inhumanity, all sorts of dead people who are trying to answer a question about their lives in order to take a boat across. Only thing is, if you answer it wrong you’re forced to forget it. We get to remember them, though, because this is a book and not some crazy spiritual encounter.

Sita answers the first question wrong (”what is the most useless human emotion?”), and then finds a beautiful and familiar-looking young woman who tells her not to despair, because she has plenty of time to think about the answer. She’s already gotten her question right, and is waiting for Sita so they can ride together with another woman. After a second missed question (”what quality is both great and dangerous in humans?”), she meets the other woman, who also looks familiar. Weird! She tells Sita that all of the questions may be different, but the answers are all important, and they should come back to us when we need them. So I guess we can yell at the book like it’s Dora the Explorer later on. The third question is “what is the greatest mystery in the universe?” Sita knows this one: it’s that God and his names are all the same, so by invoking the name you are bringing God to you. It does take her a second, because she has to argue with the boat driver over misleading info he’s given her, but in the end she gets to cross the river with her new friends.

On the other side is a mountain full of caves. They each have to go through their own cave, and Sita ends up at an abyss, where she can see the tunnel on the other side but doesn’t know how to get there. A woman with some grotesque facial scars shows up and walks across the space, offering to help Sita do it, for a kiss. She knows about Sita’s final sin, showing a blood-stained syringe like she’s predicting kid-virus-murder, and with a kiss they will bond and the woman will protect her when it comes to final judgment. After all, she did miss the second question. And suddenly it comes flooding back to Sita, with a realization of what the correct answer is: faith. She doesn’t need to get across, necessarily; she just has to take a leap of faith.

She passes out for a minute after jumping, then comes to in a pathway with the syringe on the ground next to her. She makes her way to the obvious judgment house and sees how it works. You state your name and age, put your hands over a scale, and one of them makes diamonds and the other black pearls. Whichever side is heavier determines where you go in the afterlife, and the younger you are the less the scale expects, I guess. The young woman that Sita rode in the boat with offers to go first, and OH HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK IT’S TERI. Because this is happening in the past, remember, Sita doesn’t think Teri is dead, but the other woman says time doesn’t matter here, you can encounter people who are dead from all periods, including apparently the future. But Teri was good, duh, and she goes up. And now we learn just how old Sita is exactly: 5152 years old. Naturally someone with this long of a life and this complicated of a history produces enough gems to bury the scale entirely. Her hands drop with the exhaustion of producing so much junk, and ultimately the dark side of the scale prevails. The devil himself shows up to make a deal with Sita, though: if she destroys the light bearer, he’ll go easy on her.

And now Sita is back in her living body, still channeling into the room that observes the Source, with a bitter realization of what she has to do. Ancient Telar has described their initial Link, the one that granted her people immortality, as one that filled them with light. So she needs to kill this lady in order to make the current Source vulnerable. Which, duh, Ancient Telar knew it the whole time, and is ready to make peace with her twelve thousand years. Her soul’s absence weakens the Link, and Sita makes herself visible through multiple ancient magics to let them know of their fate. Of course they try to reason and bargain with Sita, but as she’s already been tortured nearly to death by the leader she doesn’t think it’s necessary to make a deal, and sticks around long enough to make sure they’re all still present when the last dude she left alive sends in the missile strike.

So now obviously the kids are sick and dying and Team Vampire has to get out of this building. They’re stopped by the CEO and her husband, who insist that they heal all the kids, only Sita refuses and the CEO knows why: this Cradle business has gotten out of their control and the only way out is to let it die. When her husband argues in favor of the kids, she shoots him in the fucking head and then asks Sita for one kid: her daughter. They get in the van, Seymour screaming and protesting the whole time, and they’re only maybe a mile away when the shit blows up. See, while Sita was planning for her child murder to be slow and painful, Immortal Boyfriend laced the whole place with powerful explosives so that they’d just die instantly.

Almost immediately, they get pulled over. Why? There’s no connection between this van and the building they just left, or any of their identities. But CEO confirms that the Internet program just kicked on, which means maybe there’s one person still connected to the Cradle who could make it go. Who the hell could it be? For now, Sita hypnotizes the cops away from the van and they figure out how to make it to a middle-of-nowhere hellhole hotel, where she shares a room with the young Indian girl who had been a part of the Array but has had some unusual powers against it, who had also been scarred in the face before Sita found her, who somehow had the original copy of Original Vampire’s book even though Sita KNOWS she made a copy of it to send back with her. Weird!

And suddenly Sita realizes who is the mole, the rat, the link, the answer to all of the problems. And the young Indian girl slowly drops her facade and reveals that yes, she’s been the human connection for the devil the whole time, and that she was dark and evil even before her arranged fiance threw acid in her face. And just as suddenly, Sita is talking with the devil himself, in a luxury hotel room overlooking ... I dunno, Hell City? He’s kind of pissed that she wiped out the Cradle, and counts himself lucky that the Internet program was able to be started up. Still, he offers her another deal so that his connection to the human realm won’t be lost. Sita wants the answer to the ferryman’s first question in return, but he won’t give it up. But she’s figured something else out: the light bearer is actually this first fallen angel, Lucifer. And now she’s back in the nasty hotel room, where she doesn’t hesitate to rip of the Indian girl’s head and throw it out the window.

And suddenly AGAIN, Sita is back in front of the scale, where she knows the answer to the riddle and realizes just what is holding her down: guilt. It’s her guilt that has caused her hand to rest on the dark side of the scale and pull it down. She releases it and immediately the light side takes over. She is led to a long tunnel, which leads to an intoxicating blue light, and a man with a long braid and a flute. Finally, Krishna has come for Sita. Only he didn’t have to, because he’s always been there for her, and will be even if she chooses to go back to her body.

And that’s the end of Thirst No. 4! It seems like this would have been a satisfying enough ending for this whole series, right? We got some closure, we know that the monsters have been dealt with, we are ready to be done. But we can’t, because we know there’s still a fifth book coming. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I’ve never read that one, after two attempts by Pike to end this series. Maybe it won’t suck? Let’s find out.

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xtruss · 2 years

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5 Formatting Mistakes Turning Your Résumé Into A Confusing Mess!

Remember to Keep the Look Simple and Keep Personal Tidbits to a Minimum.

— By Andrew Fennell | Career Evolution | April 18, 2022

Given that it’s your first chance to make a concrete impression with a potential employer, it’s crucial that your resume is designed and formatted to highlight your skills and qualifications.

From complicated designs to crowded pages crammed with unreadable text, there are a number of reasons your resume might be letting you down. If you’re finding it difficult to get interviews despite being highly qualified, a poorly formatted résumé might be to blame.

Here are some of the leading mistakes I see in résumé formatting. To avoid each, I’ll explain how to structure a winning résumé that will help you secure that lucrative first interview.

Complex Design

When it comes to writing your resume, the most important thing to remember is that it must be easy to read. Recruiters are tasked with reading hundreds of resumes every day, so you can be guaranteed that anything difficult to read, or crammed with lots of crowded text, will be skipped over.

It’s natural to want to highlight as many of your skills, roles, and achievements as possible, but cramming everything into an overly complicated design is the fastest way to guarantee that your résumé won’t be read at all.

It’s also best to avoid wacky designs, and instead opt for a simple structure, clean font and design, and logical layout for your résumé. When it comes to color, a small splash of color for your header is fine, but styling in multiple colors is messy, unpleasant to read, and can look unprofessional in most industries. Stick to black text on a white background for the body of your CV, as this will provide the best reading experience.

Unnecessary Pesonal Information

As someone who provides advice on designing résumés, I cringe when I spot the error of adding too much personal information.

Keep in mind as a candidate, your potential employer doesn’t need to know your date of birth, marital status, or blood type. What matters most to a recruiter is knowing that you’re capable of doing the job they’re offering, so filling up the first half of the page with surplus personal information is going to impact the competitiveness of your résumé. You only have two pages to make an impression, so you must save as much space for proving your suitability for your target jobs.

When it comes to your personal information, you only need to include your name, your phone number, your email address, and the general area you are looking to work (for example, “New York”).

Unbroken Text

Ensuring that your résumé is readable should be your key priority when it comes to formatting. This means breaking up large chunks of text into bite-sizes, easy-to-read information.

You should separate each section of your résumé with clear headings and borders, and the information you add to each section should be to the point and serve a clear purpose. Keep your sentences short, never going over two lines.

You should make use of bullet points for all your key information; in fact, all of your core skills, responsibilities, and professional achievements should be listed in bullet-point format. Bullet points save space on unnecessary filler words and phrases, while also making it easy for the busy recruiter to get to the relevant information quickly.

Too Many Pages

In today’s job market, a résumé that is far too long won’t be read at in full. When it comes to length, you should be aiming for around two pages.

Two pages gives you enough space to highlight your key skills, achievements, and responsibilities, without overwhelming or boring readers.

If your résumé is currently longer than two pages, you can cut it down by writing more concisely and removing non-essential information. Remove any detail that is either irrelevant to your target jobs or simply does not add value to your application.

Poor Page Organization

Having a badly structured résumé is going to confuse recruiters and reflect poorly on your overall organizational skills. Whether it’s sections missing headings or poorly structured job descriptions, bad page organization can seriously hamper your chances.

To ensure that your résumé is readable, make sure you use clear headings, divide each section with space and borders, and break up any large blocks of text with bullet points. You should also order the information logically, starting with a summary at the top of your résumé to draw readers in, and then continuing with your work experience in reverse chronological order. It’s important to remember that recruiters deal with hundreds of résumés a day, so you need to make it easy as possible for them to find the info they are looking for.

If you’re having trouble landing interviews or simply want to refresh and revitalize your resume, beginning with clear formatting is key. Given that recruiters’ attention spans are getting shorter, getting your reviewers interested in your résumé is the first and hardest part of any job application.

So, ditch the wacky formatting and stick to a winning, classic design, ensuring to highlight your achievements and value as an employee.

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gothmedia · 7 years

Text

Comic Review: Oh My Goth!

In celebration of his newest album, it’s Voltaire week! Being in the scene for so long, he really is a Jack of all trades. While his music is the one thing everyone tends to gravitate to, he’s also been involved in animation, comics, novel writing, home improvement, and gratuitous cigar smoking. While he does excel in music and animation, the same can’t be said for everything else...

Oh My Goth is... Well, it’s a comic. Inspired by Chick Tracts and wanting to promote his upcoming shows, Voltaire started making small eight page comics to draw in potential fans. Eventually, these small comics would lead to the production of a short series of comics called Oh My Goth! It follows Poshe, an extraterrestrial whose human disguise looks like a particular singer, his robot gorilla sidekick with a TV for a head, a ghost of a tombstone (I had no idea what this was when reading the books.), and a group of over-dramatic goth teens as they go on wacky adventures and comment on how horrible modern (90s) pop culture is while shirking their responsibility of destroying the earth. While this works in theory, it doesn’t really pan out well in reality.

The writing is all over the place. There are condensed, linear plots throughout the books usually involving some sort of sy-fy theme, but the constant jokes usually distract from it. And not just jokes relating to the story, there are jokes being played in the background, midground, and foreground on every page. When everything is trying to grab the reader’s attention at once, nothing really hits. The jokes themselves are a bit... problematic. I know Voltaire’s one of those types of people that will happily announce he’s “not PC”, but there’s a lot of racist, homophobic, or just downright mean jokes. Also a lot of rape and suicide jokes. Whether or not you’re okay with that, a lot of jokes just don’t hit well. Unless you were involved with the subculture at that time, the topical humor hasn’t aged well. No one really cares about the Village People at this point. Kids don’t watch Barney any more and no one’s complaining about ravers in goth clubs. Also, you can tell a Marilyn Manson joke is coming three pages away, so that’s a bit of a let down.

The off-the-wall writing isn’t helped by the art or layout either. The panels overlap and wobble around, sometimes it’s hard to tell what frame you need to read next. The structure does get better in later issues, though. The text is some sort of Medieval-inspired font that is hard to read at times. The art is.. Eh... Different people have different styles, but sometimes it’s just lacking in technical skill. The thought is there, but it’s messed up by poor perspective or layout. Panels tend to be over-crowded with side gags and whatnot, but it’s overwhelming. JtHM had the same idea of having detailed backgrounds with gags, but for the most-part it didn’t overwhelm the characters. The backgrounds in JtHM also tended to be a different line-width from the characters, so it made the characters stand out and pop. Not so much here. In fact, the grey ink-wash that’s used on the backgrounds is also used on the characters, so it just makes everything blend into a muddled mess more. I would have either kept it in full black and white, only shaded the backgrounds, or at least used different tones of grey. Overall, it’s as hard to look at as it is to read.

So, is the comic worth the read? Not really. If you like Voltaire and want more of his work, if you’re a collector, or if you just REALLY want more goth comics, then go for it, but overall it’s not really that spectacular. There’s a lot of comics that did the concepts better. If you want a story about an alien that’s inept at taking over the earth while dealing with modern pop-culture, Invader Zim has a comic series currently running that’s really nice. Want to see ink wash done right? Read Eldritch! Looking for a comic about the subculture with some fantasy elements? Poseur Patrol is unfinished, but a really nice webcomic that I wish I had more of. And while it might not have been the best comic, it did inspire a great song to dance to!

#gothgoth #oh my goth #comic review

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thiscrimsonsoul · 3 years

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1. what’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

10. how much do you proof-read as you are writing vs. proof-read at the end?

13. does writing roleplay things in public spaces make you uncomfortable?

20. if you are writing a wrong reply that’s not working out, do you save what you have to be continued at another date, or do you scrap it and rewrite?

24. what’s your thought process when you format? any unspoken rules you follow?

1. what’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

So I often break the rule of like... all punctuation being inside quotations, just because it always looks weird to me to have nested quotation marks. What I mean is... say a character is speaking, so you use “quotes,” but then they quote someone else in their dialog, so you have to use ‘these’ instead. Well if you end with that quotation at the conclusion of their dialog, the rule says, “They’re talking and now ‘quoting so you put the period inside both quotes like this.’” BUT NOW THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF QUOTES RIGHT ON TOP OF EACH OTHER AND IT LOOKS STUPID TO ME. XD So I will often write it “Like ‘this’.” instead, where the period separates the two. I know, I’m weird.

Another rule I break ALL the time is the rule of ellipses. Ellipses are for an incomplete thought, but I use them a lot in dialog to indicate a pause or a slowing down of speech. Technically, if you’re ending a sentence with that and it’s not meant to be left incomplete, you’re supposed to put a period after it. So instead of this... it should be this.... What the actual pancake is that though? Four dots? It excessive. It’s crazy. It’s MADNESS. XDDD So I never put a period after an ellipses no matter what I’m writing. I once had a writing coach of mine get VERY upset at me for doing this and he would correct ever single one I wrote incorrectly, hahaha.

10. how much do you proof-read as you are writing vs. proof-read at the end?

Just answered here! =)

13. does writing roleplay things in public spaces make you uncomfortable?

Nah, I do it all the time, heh. Especially while waiting forever in doctor’s offices. As long as I feel like nobody can see my phone and what I’m typing, I’m fine with it. It’s a great way to pass the time, in my opinion. Working on drafts, anyway. I don’t usually rp in IMs anymore even though I did years ago. But I wouldn’t mind that either, really. I would just have to leave abruptly when I have to go, heh, but other than that I don’t see a problem with it. My only problem is, if it’s a really good story then sometimes I react out loud and some poor little old lady next to me looks at me like I’m nuts, lol, but hey... who says I’m not? o_O

20. if you are writing a wrong reply that’s not working out, do you save what you have to be continued at another date, or do you scrap it and rewrite?

I always save what I had. I figure I can always scrap it later, and sometimes I do, but very often the idea is sound, I just need to reword it when I’m in a more conducive mindset to write that particular thread. And I’ve done that before where I’ll erase something and then realize... no you know what, it was better that last way I wrote it... and now it’s gone and I can’t get it back, heh. So now I always save things, because:

24. what’s your thought process when you format? any unspoken rules you follow?

So my origin as a writer is writing actual books, so I follow manuscript formatting rules mostly. Single spaces after periods, no extra spaces after paragraphs, grammar rules apply of course. Rarely do I use boldface or all caps in prose, but I do use italics for emphasis and to indicate a character’s internal thoughts. The only major rule of manuscript formatting that I break because I feel it wastes space is double spacing between lines. I prefer my text to be compact. Currently as far as this site, I use small font for OC posts and comments and regular 12-pt. font style for IC posts. I don’t know why, that’s just what I’ve been doing, heh. But yeah, I don’t use big quotes, extra spaces, unnecessary italics or bold, different colors, different sizes, hypens or dashes at the beginnings or ends of paragraphs, other non-text symbols, or stylized !! type punctuation, mostly because I am 197% ingrained and used to writing in manuscript format. I have no problem with others who want to use wacky formatting, although sometimes if it’s overdone it can be hard for me to follow the actual writing itself at times.

#{ out of paprikash } ᵒᵒᶜ

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anxious-spacetart · 5 years

Note

hehehehehehehehe ur turn as well. whole ask meme. go. >:3c

Well...Heck.

1. Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

I like coffee mugs, just because.

2. Chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars!

3. Bubblegum or cotton candy?

I don’t really like either, but if I was forced to chose...I would go with bubblegum.

4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Don’t really remember, but I think I was ok.

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles.

6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Pastel!

7. Earbuds or headphones?

Headphones. Earbuds just fall out of my ears.

8. Movies or tv shows?

Movies are nice.

9. Favorite smell in the summer?

Rain, barbecue, and chlorine at the pool.

10. Game you were best at in p.e.?

Dodge ball. Haven’t played in a while.

11. What you have for breakfast on an average day?

Cereal, poptarts, or waffles.

12. Name of your favorite playlist?

Songs that I’ll bop to.

13. Lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Lemonheads! Love the sour taste.

15. Favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The Hate U Give.

16. Most comfortable position to sit in?

Levitating

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Bright pink pair.

18. Ideal weather?

Sunny with a chance of rain.

19. Sleeping position?

On my stomach, I guess?

20. Preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

I don’t really write, but I do it on my laptop on a Google Doc.

21. Obsession from childhood?

Dragons!!! I love those big fire lizards.

22. Role model?

My friends!

23. Strange habits?

Staring of into space.

24. Favorite crystal(s)?

Moonstone, fluorite and opal!

25. First song you remember hearing?

eery - Her

26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Swimming!!!

27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Haha. Stay inside and do nothing.

28. Five songs to describe you?

MinM - My Dream feat. Bebe

Shawn Wasabi - OTTER POP (ft. Hollis)

Metrik - Dawnbreaker

Khamsin - Plastic Dreams (feat. Kidswaste)

Leon Lour - Conscious

29. Best way to bond with you?

Idk. Talk about our likes, act wacky, say hi?

30. Places that you find sacred?

My house, my room, and the woods?

31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Anything?

32. Top five favorite vines?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0qbv8AatAU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Y9HwVa3Znc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maoqXdt8hZQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Bjy5YQ5xPc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SunaZVRxHcs

33. Most used phrase in your phone?

Only memes

34. Advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Attention: If you or a loved has been diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may to entitled to financial compensation.

35. Average time you fall asleep?

About 10:00

36. What is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

I’m not really sure?

37. Suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase. Easier to carry things.

38. Lemonade or tea?

Lemonade!

39. Lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Haven’t had these, but I’ll go with lemon cake.

40. Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

me.

41. Last person you texted?

My dad.

42. Jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Jacket pockets are better.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodies are nice.

44. Favorite scent for soap?

Orange citrus.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

I love fantasy! It’s full of adventure!

46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Loose clothing.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Cheddar cheese lol.

48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

A...Grape???

49. What saying or quote do you live by?

“Don’t let yesterday take too much of today.“ - Will Rogers

50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Probably a vine, idk. I laugh a lot.

51. current stresses?

School.

52. Favorite font?

Megrim!

53. What is the current state of your hands?

Fine?

54. What did you learn from your first job?

I don’t have a job yet?

55. Favorite fairy tale?

The golden goose.

56. Favorite tradition?

Thanksgiving

57. The three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

School, my fear of talking to people and being anxious.

58. Four talents you’re proud of having?

I’m not really sure lol.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

uh.

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I don’t really watch anime.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as the gentle present.” ― Cecil Baldwin

62. seven characters you relate to?

Idk.

63. five songs that would play in your club?

A bunch of songs from WTNV.

64. Favorite website from your childhood?

Club Penguin.

65. Any permanent scars?

Nope, not yet,

66. Favorite flower(s)?

Sunflowers and Night Sky Petunias.

67. Good luck charms?

Don’t really have a charm.

68. Worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Honey lemon.

69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Mitochondria is the powerhouses of the cell.

70. Left or right handed?

Right!

71. Least favorite pattern?

Pattern with a bunch of color that don’t work well.

72. Worst subject?

Math.

73. Favorite weird flavor combo?

Hot coco and ice cream?

74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

75. When did you lose your first tooth?

When I was like...6.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

French Fries.

77. Best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A flower.

78. Coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Coffee from a gas station.

79. Which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

I don’t have a license so I’m going to go with my id.

80. Earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones are nice!

81. Fireflies or lightning bugs?

I call them fireflies!

82. Pc or console?

I prefer console only because I’m used to it.

83. Writing or drawing?

Both?

84. Podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts.

84. Barbie or polly pocket?

I don’t like dolls but I’ll go with Barbie.

85. Fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology.

86. Cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes all the way.

87. Your greatest fear?

Heights.

88. Your greatest wish?

To be a better person.

89. Who would you put before everyone else?

My friends and family!

90. Luckiest mistake?

Grabbing somebody’s bag and realizing it before they leave.

91. Boxes or bags?

Boxes.

92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Fairy lights are pretty!!!

93. Nicknames?

I never really had nicknames.

94. Favorite season?

Summer!

95. Favorite app on your phone?

Youtube.

96. Desktop background?

A galaxy.

97. How many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Only one.

98. Favorite historical era?

The Middle ages!

0 notes

xhostcom · 5 years

Text

20 Best New Portfolios, December 2018

It’s December, which means it’s officially carol season. Oh well. Whether you’re a curmudgeon about these things like myself, or are even now feeling the heat rise in your elf ears and Santa hat, we can all agree that portfolio sites are cool, right? Let’s see what those wacky designers have come up with now. There are quite a few modern, as in pre-post-modern designs here. You know, classic, business-friendly minimalist sites. I must say, sometimes my writer and designer sides clash, and I worry about what design trends make me do to the English language. (Also, I’d like to take a moment to thank Hubert Gałczyński from the previously-featured K2. He has directed me towards Wappalyzer which is a tool that’s helping me more accurately figure out what platforms and CMS everybody is using.) Note: I’m judging these sites by how good they look to me. If they’re creative and original, or classic but really well-done, it’s all good to me. Sometimes, UX and accessibility suffer. For example, many of these sites depend on JavaScript to display their content at all; this is a Bad Idea

, kids. If you find an idea you like and want to adapt to your own site, remember to implement it responsibly.

TJ Dhillon

TJ Dhillon’s portfolio starts as the rest of this article will probably go on. It’s simple, it’s clean, it works. It’s got some nice little drop shadows on hovering over certain elements, and is it weird that I’ve actually missed those? They were never a bad thing in moderation. Moderation might be the key to this whole site design. There are frills, but they’re not overdone. Platform: Static Site

Matt Kevan

Matt Kevan’s portfolio looks a little bit like a prototype, though it’s obviously polished. As he is a UX designer, the aesthetic certainly works thematically. He’s also elected to put his writing front and center, rather than his more visual work. It’s certainly one way to demonstrate your expertise, but I wish I had some kind of analytics Platform: Jekyll

Daniel Spatzek

Daniel Spatzek’s portfolio will take us, just for a moment, to the world of the ultra-modern. You know how I feel about sites that are this JS-heavy, but I’m still a sucker for that grid-based aesthetic, especially when it’s properly using the full width of my desktop screen like this. Platform: Static Site

Undersight

Undersight has that clean-and-modern look, but with a little bit of artistic flair provided by the work itself. It feels like the portfolio pieces are almost as much apart of the overall aesthetic as any other element of the site. In a world where so very often the design and content almost feel like separate parts of a website, this is an improvement. Platform: React

Sei Yamazaki

Sei Yamazaki’s portfolio is focused on art. With this comes the classic “art gallery style” which includes lots of white space, and text that’s perhaps a bit too small at times. Still, the layouts themselves are beautiful, and the featured installation has some of the finest video presentation I’ve seen in a while. Platform: WordPress

4POR4

4POR4 is a rare breed indeed. Normally websites that use this much space-related imagery have darker layouts. But here we have lots of literal white space mixed with astronaut imagery, illustration, and photomontages. It’s a bit bandwidth-heavy, perhaps, but the overall effect is stunning. Platform: Static Site

Your Creative Copywriter

Your Creative Copywriter is, as a website, the very picture of business-friendliness. The layout has elements of post-modern asymmetry while maintaining a clearly businesslike look. The illustrations are classic, and even the stock photo of the hand holding the pencil is perfect for the market. Sure it’s a little cheesy, perhaps, but far from the cheesiest stock photo we’ve ever seen. It’s always interesting to see a site so clearly made with modern tech that feels like something from another era. It doesn’t hurt that this is probably exactly what their clients are looking for. Platform: Static Site

Niccolò Miranda

Niccolò Miranda’s portfolio is one of the most “presentational” sites I’ve ever seen. It’s dark, it’s got animated illustrations, and even the blog is animated to an extent. This is only possible because every blog post is a YouTube video tutorial, with accompanying practice files. It’s not the most accessible site I’ve seen, but it is beautiful, and it takes an interesting approach to ongoing content. Platform: Custom CMS (I think)

Pixavio

Pixavio is another highly presentational site with a “modern” look so old it reminds me of old fashion magazines and, weirdly enough, a lot of the barber shops I went into as a kid. It’s something about the typography and gradient use. The site shows off the flexibility of this aesthetic by using a different color scheme for each portfolio page. It feels like a blast from the past, but it still works today. Platform: Static Site

Eleken

Eleken brings me back to a time when everyone was doing design “like Apple but with thicker headings”. It’s pretty classic minimalism, mixed with a little background video, and workplace photography. Platform: Gatsby

Kobu

Kobu is a rare beauty. It’s sleek, stylish, and makes wonderful use of curves in its illustration and animation. The animations run smoothly, and aren’t altogether too distracting. The color palette is strong, and the headings are thick. And it does all of this without scroll-jacking. Can you even believe it? A fancy site that performs well and lets me scroll normally. I’m in love. Being a bit more serious, it’s a lovely looking site. Just wish they had more fallbacks in place for all of the JS stuff. Platform: WordPress

MOXY

And we’re back to the scroll-jacking. But I can forgive MOXY for this because it’s just that pretty. It’s sites like this that remind me why—even though I dislike how JavaScript has become the new Flash—web animation is a discipline and an art form all its own. It’s an art form worth exploring, and MOXY does that beautifully. Platform: React App/Static Site

Trajectory

Trajectory is doing it all wrong! If you’re going to use a monospaced font, your site either has to be an ironic brutalist meta-commentary on web design or a post-modernist artsy design. None of this pleasant, business-friendly stuff with smooth illustrations and gorgeous gradient use. Using monospaced type for all the body text might be a bit much, but it certainly does stand out when combined with everything else. Platform: Craft CMS

Soap Media

Soap Media is hitting all the right buttons for me, personally. It’s bright with bold colors, it’s playful, and it’s got a huge rubber ducky. This is an entirely subjective point, but I just like rubber duckies. The whole site feels creative and whimsical in that “we’ll playfully make you a lot of money” sort of way. It’s genius. Platform: Static Site

Nate Denton

Random chickens are equal to rubber duckies if you want to be silly and playful. Nate Denton’s portfolio went with a big one, contrasted by a relatively soft and warm color palette. The resulting aesthetic is a combination of professional and artsy that is overall pleasing to the eye, but less likely to scare away the more straight-laced potential clients. Platform: Static Site

Crema

Crema is this month’s site that isn’t mind-blowingly experimental or anything, but is here because I admire the craftsmanship. Plus rounded corners. We don’t seem them as much as we thought we would, do we? Platform: Custom CMS (I Think)

NoBears

The amusingly-named NoBears agency goes with wackiness, combining striking photomontages and background video with a comparatively subdued dark design. I’m still a sucker for those semi-visible grids as part of the design, so of course this one’s on the list. Platform: Silverstripe

BAUNFIRE

While many other sites are going for bold and bright aesthetics, BAUNFIRE keeps it soft and pleasant with a pastel-infused, and fairly minimalist design. It’s a calming and soothing experience from an agency that presents itself as easy to work with. Platform: Craft CMS

Friends

Friends’ website presents a fusion of that near-postmodern, element-overlapping aesthetic with some more classic-feeling minimalism and typography. That fusion works quite well. Platform: Craft CMS

Daniel Kusaka

Daniel Kusaka’s portfolio gives me some of that good old magazine feel that designers wanted to do for years. Well now we can, and I can’t get enough of it. God bless Flexbox and CSS Grid. Platform: WordPress

Add Realistic Chalk and Sketch Lettering Effects with Sketch’it – only $5!

Source p img {display:inline-block; margin-right:10px;} .alignleft {float:left;} p.showcase {clear:both;} body#browserfriendly p, body#podcast p, div#emailbody p{margin:0;}

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webbygraphic001 · 5 years

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20 Best New Portfolios, December 2018

There are quite a few modern, as in pre-post-modern designs here. You know, classic, business-friendly minimalist sites. I must say, sometimes my writer and designer sides clash, and I worry about what design trends make me do to the English language.

(Also, I’d like to take a moment to thank Hubert Gałczyński from the previously-featured K2. He has directed me towards Wappalyzer which is a tool that’s helping me more accurately figure out what platforms and CMS everybody is using.)

Note: I’m judging these sites by how good they look to me. If they’re creative and original, or classic but really well-done, it’s all good to me. Sometimes, UX and accessibility suffer. For example, many of these sites depend on JavaScript to display their content at all; this is a Bad Idea, kids. If you find an idea you like and want to adapt to your own site, remember to implement it responsibly.

TJ Dhillon

They were never a bad thing in moderation. Moderation might be the key to this whole site design. There are frills, but they’re not overdone.

Platform: Static Site

Matt Kevan

Matt Kevan’s portfolio looks a little bit like a prototype, though it’s obviously polished. As he is a UX designer, the aesthetic certainly works thematically.

He’s also elected to put his writing front and center, rather than his more visual work. It’s certainly one way to demonstrate your expertise, but I wish I had some kind of analytics

Platform: Jekyll

Daniel Spatzek

Platform: Static Site

Undersight

Platform: React

Sei Yamazaki

Platform: WordPress

4POR4

Platform: Static Site

Your Creative Copywriter

Sure it’s a little cheesy, perhaps, but far from the cheesiest stock photo we’ve ever seen. It’s always interesting to see a site so clearly made with modern tech that feels like something from another era. It doesn’t hurt that this is probably exactly what their clients are looking for.

Platform: Static Site

Niccolò Miranda

Niccolò Miranda’s portfolio is one of the most “presentational” sites I’ve ever seen. It’s dark, it’s got animated illustrations, and even the blog is animated to an extent.

This is only possible because every blog post is a YouTube video tutorial, with accompanying practice files. It’s not the most accessible site I’ve seen, but it is beautiful, and it takes an interesting approach to ongoing content.

Platform: Custom CMS (I think)

Pixavio

The site shows off the flexibility of this aesthetic by using a different color scheme for each portfolio page. It feels like a blast from the past, but it still works today.

Platform: Static Site

Eleken

Platform: Gatsby

Kobu

And it does all of this without scroll-jacking. Can you even believe it? A fancy site that performs well and lets me scroll normally. I’m in love.

Being a bit more serious, it’s a lovely looking site. Just wish they had more fallbacks in place for all of the JS stuff.

Platform: WordPress

MOXY

Platform: React App/Static Site

Trajectory

Using monospaced type for all the body text might be a bit much, but it certainly does stand out when combined with everything else.

Platform: Craft CMS

Soap Media

Platform: Static Site

Nate Denton

Platform: Static Site

Crema

Platform: Custom CMS (I Think)

NoBears

Platform: Silverstripe

BAUNFIRE

Platform: Craft CMS

Friends

Friends’ website presents a fusion of that near-postmodern, element-overlapping aesthetic with some more classic-feeling minimalism and typography. That fusion works quite well.

Platform: Craft CMS

Daniel Kusaka

Daniel Kusaka’s portfolio gives me some of that good old magazine feel that designers wanted to do for years. Well now we can, and I can’t get enough of it. God bless Flexbox and CSS Grid.

Platform: WordPress

Add Realistic Chalk and Sketch Lettering Effects with Sketch’it – only $5!

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susantregre · 7 years

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Real Tricks to Help Kids Learn

A new school year is just around the corner and if your family is like mine, some of the kids are excited and can’t wait to see their friends – and another child is a bit more apprehensive. If your child is a struggler – and even if they are not – these Tricks to Help Kids Learn might be just what they need to make this year better than ever!

While this post is for kids, teachers we have a viral post just for you – Classroom Hacks for Teachers.

Learning Tips for Kids

This post contains affiliate/distributor links that support Kids Activities Blog.

5 Finger Reading Rule. During free reading time, when you are picking out a book for your kids to read, have them read it aloud to you, if they make more than five mistakes have them pick an easier book to start with. This helps build their confidence.

Use a pom-pom to help your kids write neater. Holding onto a pom-pom while your kids are writing will help your child improve their hand muscle control and will position the pencil for the best writing possible.

Get your kids a Wiggly Seat. These seats are brilliant for kids who have a case of the fidgets. Often kids, especially kinetic learners, need to move to learn. This seat helps engage their bodies in a non-distracting way, allowing them to learn along with their classmates.

Pencil fidgets are the rage now! These are awesome. Put a set of fidgets on the tops of your kids pencils. Not only will your kiddo be able to tell which one is theirs they will also have something to keep their fingers occupied while their teacher is talking.

Bracelets are another built-in fidget device. This summer, in preparation for school, have your kids make a thick loom band bracelet. The act of pattern making will help your kids with math later – and when your kids have the itch to move they can play with their bracelet.

Use your fingers. Not only can you add and subtract with your fingers, you can also multiply – here is a nifty trick to help you multiply double digit numbers – with your fingers, and pictured is the way I learned my nines tables. Math made easy!

Feed your kids protein packed meals with omega-3s in them. Studies have shown a correlation between the quality of the foods kids are eating and their abilities to pay attention and focus during class. Try to avoid sugars during the school week.

Get your kids a diffusing cuff. There are a number of scents that are known to help calm and focus emotions, even recall information. Add essential oils to a bracelet for your kids to wear to diffuse the scents throughout the day. When they feel edgy or mentally “lost” remind them to take deep breaths.

Tricks to help kids learn

Make a school binder for your kids. Use it as a place to organize communication with the teachers, returned homework, report cards, schedules, etc.

Homework station. You can either have an entire closet devoted to organizing your kids school and extracurricular activities – or like this mom, make a simple Homework Caddy where all the supplies your kids need to work are all in one place.

Do you have a forgetful kiddo? Help them keep track of their tasks for the day, or even the week with a chore bracelet. Are you heading out but need them to remember to do their homework, feed the dog and take a bath – add it to the bracelet and staple it on. When your kiddo finishes a task they can rip off that slip.

Help your kids learn to write with the help of highlighters. You can either highlight the lines for your kids to start writing on – or make the letters for your kids to trace. They will be able to see what you wrote and their own letters over yours.

Ideas to Help Kids Read

Often kids with dyslexia, or really any eye challenge, benefit from using hue-cued reading. Grab a colored transparent ruler and use it as a guide to help your kids know which line they are reading. It will help them track test in a book more easily when they are entering chapter books.

Do you have a kiddo who has dyslexia, or you think they might? If you are able to, like in a word document, change the text to one that is easier to read for people with dyslexia and other reading disorders. Every letter is unique in this font family making it easier to read.

Is reading a chore, a real struggle for your kids? Instead of setting a literal timer for your kiddos nightly reading time, shake up a glitter bottle. Have your kiddo read out loud until the glitter has completely settled to the bottom of the jar. Then they can get up and run around for one minute before shaking the bottle and reading again. The falling glitter helps to see an end and kids need wiggle time to help them focus.

Give your kids a laugh. Laughter is the best medicine and after a stressful (or exceptionally boring day) your kids will be perked up fastest with a smile. Here is a collection of lunchbox jokes. OR… you can get our printable joke book filled with over 125 jokes, perfect for a new tradition – make every Wednesday a little wacky this year. Add a sheet from the joke book to your child’s lunch!

Do you have a kiddo who looses their motivation as the year progresses? Stop that in it’s tracks before it starts this year. Plan to give your kids rewards and milestones to help them track their school year. After they are at the end of the six weeks take them out for ice cream (even if they did poorly) and discuss their plans for the rest of the year. AND have goofy recognition “events” for when your kids go above an beyond – like this welcome home fort. Fun!

Help Kids Love School

Becoming fluent or “fast” at reading is an important step in literacy. Once your kids have mastered sounding out words, create a word flip book, this tool can help your kids with speed reading and launch them into a life of reading.

If you have a kiddo who gets lost with adding past their fingers (what is 27+38?) but still likes the stability of working with something concrete, try using an abacus (you can make one). As your kids use the abacus they begin to grasp concepts of chunking numbers together, making tens and then seeing tens become hundreds. Abacuses are great for giving kids confidence in math!

Spelling lists are boring, and often kids do not see the relationships between common prefixes and suffixes with regular lists. Bring spelling to life with the help of building blocks in this learn to spell activity. Write a letter on each block and “build your words.”

Last but not least, don’t forget to welcome your kiddo’s teacher to her new year with your child. Help your child’s teacher get a head start on meeting your child. Just like teachers give you a welcome letter, consider giving them a welcome note back. I remember one mom who sent me a letter when I was teaching mentioning how cool her son was and some of the things that made him fun and unique.

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Check out this article for more information about how to get this essential oil deal from Kids Activities Blog.

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