#&039;Escape The Silence&039;
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2017 BOOKLIST
001 – Ashlyn Chase – I dream of Dragons
002 – Helen Fielding – Mad about the boy
003 – Leigh Evans – The trouble with fate
004 – Leigh Evans – The thing about Weres
005 – Leigh Evans – The problem with promises
006 – Leigh Evans – The danger of destiny
007 – Jennifer Harlow – Mind over Monsters
008 – Jennifer Harlow – To catch a Vampire
009 – Jennifer Harlow – Death takes a holiday
010 – Jennifer Harlow – Highmoon
011 – Maria Lewis – Who’s Afraid*
012 – Maria Lewis – Who’s Afraid too
013 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Bites*
014 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Burns*
015 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Strikes*
016 – Ilona Andrews – Must Love Hellhounds^
017 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Bleeds*
018 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Dreams*
019 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Slays*
020 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Gifts*
021 – Ilona Andrews – Gunmetal Magic*
022 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Rises*
023 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Tests*
024 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Breaks*
025 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Steals
026 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Shifts
027 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Stars
028 – Ilona Andrews – Magic Binds
029 – Ilona Andrews – Curran POV Collection
030 – Chloe Jacobs – Greta & the Goblin King
031 – Chloe Jacobs – Greta & the Glass Kingdon
032 – Chloe Jacobs – Greta & the Lost Army
033 – R.A Linde – The Wright Brother
034 – Patricia Briggs – Moon Called*
035 – Patricia Briggs – Cry Wolf
036 – Patricia Briggs – Shifting Shadows*
037 – Patricia Briggs – Blood Bound*
038 – Patricia Briggs – Iron Kissed*
039 – Patricia Briggs – Bone Crossed*
040 – Patricia Briggs- Silver Borne*
041 – Patricia Briggs – River Marked*
042 – Patricia Briggs – Frost Burned*
043 – Patricia Briggs – Night Broken*
044 – Patricia Briggs – Fire Touched*
045 – Patricia Briggs – Silence Fallen*
046 – Patricia Briggs – Hunting Ground
047 – Patricia Briggs – Fair Game
048 – Patricia Briggs – Dead Heat
049 – Sarah J Maas – A Court of Mist & Fury*
050 – Sarah J Maas – A Court of Wings & Ruin
051 – Emma L Adams – Fairy Magic
052 – Emma L Adams – Fairy Blood
053 – Sable Sylvian – Koala Bear Buns
054 – Rebecca Zanetti – Claimed
055 – Rebecca Zanetti – Hunted
056 – Alison Goodman – Lady Helen & the Dark Days Club
057 – Alison Goodman – Lady Helen & the Dark Days Pact
058 – Julie Kagawa – The Iron King
059 – Rebecca Zanetti – Fated
060 – Julie Kagawa – The Iron Daughter
061 – Julie Kagawa – Winters Passage
062 – Julie Kagawa – The Iron Queen
063 – Julie Kagawa – Summers Crossing
064 – Julie Kagawa – The Iron Knight
065 – Julie Kagawa – Irons Prophecy
066 – Julie Kagawa – Lost Prince
067 – Julie Kagawa – Iron Warrior
068 – Julie Kagawa – Iron Traitor
069 – Lauren Dane – Laid Bare
070 – Lauren Dane – Coming Undone
071 – Lauren Dane – Inside Out
072 – Lauren Dane – Never Enough
073 – Lauren Dane – Laid Open
074 – Lauren Dane – Drawn Together
075 – Meagan Spooner – Haunted
076 – Sherry Thomas – A Study in Scarlet Women
077 – Thea Harrison – Moonshadow
078 – Rosalyn Eves – Blood Rose Rebellion
079 – Nalini Singh – Silver Silence
080 – Nalini Singh – Archangels Heart
081 – Nalini Singh – Archangels Viper
082 – Maria Lewis – It came from the deep
083 – Helen Harper – Honour Bound
084 – Helen Harper – Veiled Threat
085 – Helen Harper – Gifted Thief
086 – Helen Harper – Last Wish
087 – Helen Harper – Slouch Witch
088 – Helen Harper – Star Witch
089 – Helen Harper – Spirit Witch
090 – Holly Black – Tithe
091 – Holly Black – Ironside
092 – Tessa Dare – Romancing the Duke
093 – Tessa Dare – Say Yes to the Marques
094 – Tessa Dare – When a Scot ties the knot
095 – Margaret Rogerson – An Enchantment of Ravens
096 – Melissa Pimental – The one that got away
097 – Holly Black – The darkest part of the forest
098 – Tessa Dare – The Duchess deal
099 – Tessa Dare – Do you want to start a scandal
100 – Amelia Hutchins – Fighting Destiny
101 – Amelia Hutchins – Taunting Destiny
102 – Amelia Hutchins – Escaping Destiny
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Little witch (Part 11)
Pairings: Peter Parker x reader
Word count: 2 039
Summary: The reader is raised by Hydra but manages to escape after they kill her parents. She is emotionally unstable and can’t control her powers. The Avengers rescue her and give her everything she missed form life and wanted to feel. But would her new found love be enough to extinguish her desire for revenge? What would be the side she would choose to rely on? Will she be ready to face the real her?
A/N: I thought that this part would be the end of the story. Since the next chapter will be officially the last one, please tell me what you think, like, dislike or expect to happen ♥ I’m begging you because that’s what inspires me to write and right now i don’t think i have an inspiration... (And so so so sorry for the mistakes ♥)
Part 1// Part 2// Part 3// Part 4// Part 5// Part 6// Part 7// Part 8// Part 9// Part 10
Part 12
Dying wasn’t that painful when you were in the hands of your beloved one. And it was way longer than (Y/N) thought. Her shoulder was aching and her muscles were on fire but the feelings were in the reality while her brain made her believe it was some kind of a dream. She had buried her head in Peter’s chest listening to his fast heartbeat which made her relax. She was supposed to scream, shout for help not to feel blessed. A smile appeared on her face as their bodies were flying towards the lake below them together with the building. Tons of cement and metal were surrounding them as though to protect them from survival.
“I love you Peter.”, the girl whispered.
“I love you, (Y/N).”, in his estimation whatever he was going to say wasn’t enough to express the feelings he had towards this girl. She broke into his life like a bolt from the blue. She came and changed his life although his intention was to do the same with her. Peter desired to make her the happiest person in the world because she did deserve it... but now? They were going to die and no one could have changed that. He tightened his grip around her.
He was crying yet smiling. That girl gave up her life for her. If he wasn’t going to give the best to her in this world, he was going to do it in the other one they were heading to.
Tony and Vision landed on the landscape above the whole structure.
“What the hell is Thor eating?! He weighs tons.”, Tony complained as he let the god on the surface. He was still unconscious but Wanda was slowly returning back.
“Where are Peter and (Y/N)?”, Natasha asked cutting in the conversation.
The two flying avengers were about to turn and fly in order to take the two teenagers before the building had dived but as soon as the question escaped Nat’s mouth they all heard the noise. The sound made them all look at the shaking ground beneath them.
“No!”, Tony screamed as he activated his suit and went straight to where they used to be but the falling structure prevented him from it.
“Tony, wait!”, Steve screamed to the avenger but Tony couldn’t hear anything. He was frozen in shock. Tears appeared in his eyes as everything splashed into the water. The boy he had to take care of, the boy who was like a son to him, died. (Y/N), the strange and dangerous girl who appeared more than a month ago, the girl who had been though hell just like him, the girl who he tried to help to recover because he knew about her nightmares, about the insomnia which was about to appear if it wasn’t the avengers and Peter, died. Many people had asked him if he had had a heart…At that moment he knew he had, because he felt it breaking. Breaking into million pieces as the two teenagers were being drawn in the lake. If it wasn’t the suit he would break down, too. He would have jumped into the lake and kill himself. His hands and lips were trembling. He bit the bottom lip and felt a taste of metallic, taste of the blood which he had felt several times. But this time he deserved it or at least that was what he thought.
All of a sudden his body was filled with rage. ‘They are not going to die!’, he spoke to himself and within seconds he was above the ruins left from the building. The lake had increased its lever but only part of the structure had been underwater. Tony exploded part of them but it was vain. There was too much cement covering their bodies. He couldn’t save them on time.
“No!”, he screamed again in desperation. He fell on his knees and removed his mask throwing it away. The man couldn’t control his emotions anymore as he tended to do a lot. The tears were rolling down his face. When he felt an arm on his shoulder, he didn’t dare to look up.
“I had to protect them.”
“We all had to protect them, Tony.”, Steve knelt next to the mourning man, “And we all failed.”, Finally Tony gave up and lifted his head to see the blue eyes of the blond man. He was crying, too, “Come.”, Steve gave his hand to Tony and once he took it, the captain helped him to stand up.
Tony saw the helicopter near the water. All avengers were around it but nobody dared to get in. Wanda had opened her eyes but was still too weak. She had tears in her eyes and her muscled were tensed as she tried to use her power and remove the ruins from the water. They were slightly moving but it wasn’t enough. Her sadness was an obstacle for her powers to work. Vision was next to Wanda trying to calm her down as the witch suffered for her lost sister.
Clint was near Thor who was lying on the ground. The father had buried his head in his hands while they were resting on his legs. His body was shaking.
Natasha, who had seen many people dying, was crying near the helicopter’s entrance in Bruce’s arms. They had all lost not only partners but also members from this strange family.
They all got on the flying devise. Natasha turned on the autopilot and they all sat down in silence. Death can never be forgotten. It takes. Destroys. Tempts. Rules. Obsesses. Binds. The loss was painful, an agony for the Avengers. But it didn’t destroy them, didn’t obsess them to seek revenge…They would never be the same but what happened that day was going to keep them together as the family they thought they were.
(Y/N) slightly opened her eyes and felt a splitting headache. She groaned in pain and tried to take breath. It was difficult but somehow she did. ‘Why am I alive? I had to be dead…’, the girl thought and looked around. There was water everywhere and ruins over her and Peter. She looked at the boy, who was unconscious.
“Peter!”, the girl wanted to shout but the words came out as a whisper, “Peter, wake up.”, but no response. The little witch made all her efforts to move her right hand and once she did she saw it. It was dry. They were in something like a ball of air while the water was surrounding them. But the oxygen was ending as the girl had difficulties in breathing.
Moving Peter’s hair away from his face, she saw the blood on his forehead.
“Pete!”, shaking him a little didn’t work, “No! No, Peter! You can’t die you bastard!”, tears were forming in her eyes. Was that how everything would end? She wanted to be with him and now she would die in agony as the tons of cement over her and a dead body in her hands… ‘No! That’s not how I would die.’
The ruins of the base had pinched her and Peter’s legs, she was barely feeling them. The wound on her left shoulder wasn’t hurting anymore but the blood was covering the surface below her.
“We’ll live Peter.”, she stated and concentrated on the stones and metal. “You’ll live.”, as she opened her eyes they were shining in bright brown and green with parts of water. ‘Come on, (Y/N)! You destroyed it, so you can fix it.’, the air wasn’t enough, her blood was leaving her body way faster than before as she stained her muscles. Her body was on fire, screaming, dying, ready to give up.
The stones moved, she felt the weight of the water and the ruins pushing her deeper and deeper but thanks to the cement behind her back her body wasn’t moving. It was too heavy for her to get all the stuff out of the water, so using her left hand too she tried to at least move the cement away from them – in left and right. The visions became blurry and at moments dark. She was losing consciousness but the desire to save the boy she loved was her anchor. She was going to save him willing to give her life for his.
Wanda stood up. She couldn’t bare sitting in silence anymore. She needed to scream, to push, to break, to get the emotions out of her. They were tearing her apart, choking her. She went to the place where the pilot was supposed be and looked though the glass.
Wanda had lost her brother some years ago. She felt a thread tearing then. Part of her died with her brother. Now, the feeling was the same. (Y/N) wasn’t her blood but she felt it closer than anybody from the avengers. Shopping, although the little witch was against it, talking about boys, the girly nights, the teasing…everything was a dream that would never become true. She looked back at the lake where Peter and (Y/N) sank. They weren’t that far away so the woman managed to see a movement. Seconds later the ruins were getting up above the water.
“Steve!”, Wanda screamed in both excitement and fear. They had to help them or if the ruins fell on them, they would be smashed. The avengers turned to look at her, all of them with red eyes, “Turn the helicopter. Now!”, she demanded and Steve, as a good soldier, sat on the chair, turned off the autopilot and tried to follow Wanda’s order. The others were shocked because of the movement and stood up. Tony was the first one to go next to Wanda and see what was going on. When he saw the moving object, he filled with happiness.
“They are alive.”, he breathed out and went to open the helicopter’s gates.
“I’m coming with you! You’ll need me.”, Wanda ordered and Tony took her by the waist. Then both of them jumped and flew to the lake. When their feet touched the ground, Wanda inhaled and exhaled deeply several times in order to take control over her powers.
“Clear the way, I’ll get them.”, Stark announced and took the Iron man mask which was some meters away from him. Putting it back, he heard JARVIS’s voice.
“You must hurry, Mr. Stark!”
Wanda lifted her hands and the ruins followed her movements. It was way easier than she thought, maybe because (Y/N) was moving them. She then felt the stones weren’t obeying her magic because they wanted to separate in different directions.
“Smart girl!”, Wanda beamed and did the same in order to help the little witch under the water. But soon it became too heavy and Wanda understood why.
“Tony! Hurry!”, the way wasn’t cleared as he needed but the man used his small bombs to destroy the ruins. He didn’t need Jarvis to scan where the teenagers were as he saw them on the bottom.
(Y/N) had succeeded. The stones were moved and now Peter could be saved. The girl’s eyes were slowly closing as the blood in her veins wasn’t enough to keep her alive. Her body was cold but the girl didn’t care. The shield keeping them from drowning was becoming smaller and smaller. Maybe that was the end. She and Peter were dying and probably not going to the same place. She was sad…not because her life was leaving her but because Peter had left this world without deserving this. She had stormed into his life and because of her mistakes, past, parents…nature, he died. There was nothing holding (Y/N) back. She had been desiring for this day since she was eight years old. Her parents were killers, her life – ruined, her soul – taken, and she – a disaster killing every single thing on her path.
The light streaming through the water once the heavy things were removed was actually giving her hope, a small one, but still that the boy would be saved. And when she saw somebody swimming towards them she knew the pain was worth it. When Tony came closer, the only thing which escaped her mouth before passing out was:
“Save him.”
PART 12
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001. The fox as shepherd.
002. Curing a sick lion.
003. The saving blood.
004. The first to see the sunrise.
005. Learning to fear men.
006. What was whispered in his ear.
007. Blood-brothers.
008. Sin and grace.
009. The danced-out shoes.
010. The princess in the shroud.
011. The girl as helper in the hero’s fight.
012. The youth transformed.
013. The magician and his pupil.
014. The youth who wanted to learn what fear is.
015. Little brother and little sister.
016. Sleeping beauty.
017. Friends in life and death.
018. The bridge to the other world.
019. The confession.
020. All stick together.
021. Beloved of women.
022. The dance among thorns.
023. The devil’s contract.
024. Open sesame.
025. Invisible voices.
026. Her only trick.
027. The hunter.
028. The lazy boy.
029. The snare.
030. The rhyme.
031. Thank you three times.
032. Why it turned winter.
033. The spider brings luck.
034. A pound of flesh.
035. Wise through experience.
036. Like wind in the hot sun.
037. The blood that testified to the truth.
038. The partition of an inheritance.
039. Bargain not to become angry.
040. Casting eyes.
041. Cleaning the child.
042. Contest in words.
043. The ogre injured.
044. As much as you can carry.
045. With his whole heart.
046. The man who competes with the devil.
047. The girl who ate so little.
048. Sunlight carried into the windowless house.
049. The man takes seriously the prediction of death.
050. Mistaken identity.
051. Fools frightened.
052. Sailing in a contrary wind.
053. Hospitality.
054. How wide the world is.
055. The girl who patched her apron.
056. The silence wager.
057. The old woman as troublemaker.
058. The girl who does not know herself.
059. The thunderstorm.
060. Staying with a friend in rainy weather.
061. The practical girl.
062. Keeping up appearances.
063. Clean and tidy.
064. Nothing to cook.
065. The dead shall remain dead.
066. A clever boy.
067. The girl who ran so fast.
068. Carrying part of the load.
069. The girl who wanted to be always young.
070. The first harbinger of spring.
071. Cleverness and gullibility.
072. For the long winter.
073. Know-it-all.
074. Building castles in the air.
075. What should I have said?
076. The forgotten word.
077. Jealousy.
078. Two match-makers.
079. Echo answers.
080. Can’t take a joke.
081. Cards fall from the sleeve of the preacher.
082. The man who will never say thanks.
083. The girl who is spinning the thread of fate.
084. Good-bye, you dirty world.
085. 'Who gives his own goods shall receive it back tenfold.'
086. Three words at the grave.
087. Imagined penance for imagined sin.
088. A realistic demonstration.
089. You shall see me a little while longer.
090. Another matter.
091. Too much talk.
092. Wishing contests.
093. A miraculous escape.
094. Good luck.
095. I knew you were coming.
096. Unusual hearing.
097. The wishing ring.
098. No time for sickness.
099. The lucky shot.
100. The poisoned apple.
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Day 10,115
001. We’re Brangelina, but he’s Angelina because of their unconventional beauty and I’m Brad because of the fur coat he wears in Fight Club.
002. The day we laid in his bed and he told me about his “one that got away” who was really somebody he tried to be with for a long time until she got hurt in a way that I think was hard for both of them to understand.
003. Watching him giggly dance like animated Kermit with Janelle and Genevieve.
004. It’s the way he smells that keeps making me cry. Grabbed his lumpy leafy pillow, but not the other two ugly tropical Christmas pillows because I never liked those. Mm but I keep breathing deeply into the one. Earthy and clean and unlike anything else. Or maybe it’s the way humans smell and he’s just the only one I’ve been so close to. The only one I’ve ever breathed in. I think it upsets me so much because the pillow won’t smell like that forever. Because I’ll forget how he smells. That’s really really upsetting. So every time it does still smell like that I’m startled and relieved but still so upset. Still fresh. Will not stay fresh.
005. The day Kiersten and I quietly sat across from each other while she drew henna on my hand. I asked her if she’d seen us the other night, sitting in his parked car in the rain. She raised her eyebrows because we both knew she had. She said softly without looking up, “I think you two are cute together.”
006. How he’d ask me “Who even are you?” when I was wilding. He would shake his head and say, “You’re really on one.”
007. We talked about death a few nights ago. I talked about how it’ll be a relief to me when life is over and he talked about how that made no sense to him at all. How it felt so important to him, not the dying but the being alive. How he needed to do something important with it. I said it made him more ambitious and more prone to disappointment. It really explained so much.
008. A couple weeks ago I caught me thinking about who would be our flower girl and ring bearer if we ever got married.
009. Passing my water bottle back and forth 100 times on a drive or just getting back or when he would stop by after he got done working or MOSTLY after we’d messed around because we’d worn each other out. Splashing him because I liked to watch him get mad and have to calm himself down. Mm. Telling him to finish it and feeling small joy that I’d been able to meet his need.
010. The night I just watched him doodle things. He doesn’t draw pretty things. He draws strange things that make sense to just him. Unexpected.
011. His face when he would get sleepy or when he’d first wake up. I called it puffy and he didn’t like that but I meant puffy in the sweetest most darling way.
012. I woke up at five o’clock this morning and never fell back asleep. That’s literally never happened to me. I hope it doesn’t last very long because it’s extremely frustrating to not be able to escape, extremely frustrating to be inside my own head currently. Just snapped out of the middle of a safe dream and right away started thinking about him. Goddamn I cannot wait for mornings I wake up thinking about anything else.
013. I don’t want to talk to anybody else right now. Like actually maybe can’t. Just him. Talking to literally anybody else is disappointing. Being around anybody that isn’t him feels so fucking lonesome. Would rather be alone. Would rather take care of me than have anybody else try it. Just him. Don’t want it from anyone else.
014. He never watched my favorite movie.
015. Got me searching for photos of monarch butterflies as I hold back tears.
016. Mm, about to become super fucking conscious of how many spaces I’m in consist of only white people. So many white people. Too many white people. Damn.
017. I think the whole time we were in love he couldn’t stop mentioning Solange’s album. The first time I listened to it I didn’t like it and then I only ever heard it with him after that. Will probably never like it now.
018. The one evening in the Lodge during the first summer. I was stressed out completely, a low 2 on a scale of 1 to 10. He said we could get in his car and he’d drive me anywhere. I told him I couldn’t because of something coming up on the schedule. Mm but I let him put his arm around me. I didn’t fight that. And I let anybody see us as they left dinner and decided not to give a fuck because I was so sad and I liked him so much.
019. I txted Edith and Caleb right before lunch today to let them know what happened. That made me cry. Yeah I won’t be able to write about the sweet moments we’ve had with them right now but I hope I don’t forget them.
020. Prayed the other night that God would help me protect the memories, like to please help me hold onto them, help me be discreet and not let everybody in on them, but I also asked Him to protect me from the memories for at least this first little while. To not let them devastate me. Mm yeah I’m putting a lot of effort into backing up from the things I suddenly remember about him, about us. Cannot wade in too far.
021. He said my issues with my dad were Big Fish. He might be right.
022. He showed me his father on Facebook a couple weeks ago. A whole bunch of his family but yeah wow we came across his dad. Mm. I didn’t say anything because I felt like I shouldn’t. I couldn’t believe he showed him to me.
023. He loved Fat Thor so much, like not in just a make him laugh way, in like a serious meaningful way. He like lol, he deeply understood Fat Thor.
024. It makes me very very very very sad to think that I probably won’t get to make him laugh for a long time, maybe never again. That hurts. I do love when he laughs hard.
025. When we told Bill and Renate. Mm. Bill started asking reasonable questions, ones I hadn’t asked because they’d seemed too obvious but were helpful to hear out loud. But Renate. Mm. That’ll make me cry. Renate just immediately seemed so sad, like so physically saddened. And I think maybe that’s been the kindest moment of this whole thing. The kindest to me anyways. I love her and I really believe she loves me, loved the two of us together.
026. We stayed at Carlsons’s on Thursday night. Their old mattress on their living room floor. Got in a goofy fight right before we fell asleep because Beans had snuggled into Omar’s legs and he was whisper yelling at me not to bother the cat and so I chucked his phone. When I tattled to Bekah the next morning he said, “I fell asleep before I could be nice.”
027. Next time I order sweet tea in a drive thru I know I’ll cry about it.
028. Strawberry tea. He wanted milk in it, but didn’t take any because he didn’t want to offend June’s sensibilities. Mm. I do love him for the ways he would show June respect. He surprised me.
029. The night he got Depop and scrolled forever.
030. I’ve been wearing the earrings Dad gifted all us girls for Christmas since it happened. Keep putting them on as like, a defense. A comfort. A reassurance. A reminder that I’m loved by others outside of this mess.
031. OOH, the itty bitty whozit whatzits he made out of tiny scraps he came across when he was a janitor at that factory. Small faces.
032. The way he was around Elliott.
033. How he reminded me of Dan AND Zion, somehow combined into a troublesome dreamy wonder boy.
034. It’s going to be really hard to do the things we all usually do together without him. Morning devos, eating meals, prepping/cleaning up for them, and cleaning cabins.
035. He’s just my best friend. My actual closer to me than anybody maybe ever best friend. And I don’t know how I’m supposed to just keep being a person if he isn’t going to be somewhere close by. I don’t know how to feel so far away from somebody I love this way. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.
036. He was saying last week that like, saying that his greatest fear in all this is that people are going to believe he doesn’t care about me um that I’m going to believe that. And mm, I’m really trying to not let that BS into my head. Trying to believe he would of stayed if he could of. That there was no other option for him. Not one that he could fathom. But it’s hard. It’s hard to put he cares and he left next to each other and understand both.
037. Seeing anybody else kiss makes me painfully aware that I don’t know if we’ll ever kiss again. An uncontrollable pang.
038. Marriage is now gonna be so stupid upsetting to me.
039. Had to edit his contact in my phone from Cool Boyfriend™ to Omar. Mm, I know I’m Ang<3lla in his, something like that. Wonder if/when he will change it.
040. Waiting for him to reach out to me. Can’t talk to him first. Could actually but won’t. If he misses me he should do something about it. Mm but I know it’s not in his nature. Like he’s more likely to say nothing, to not bother me, to let me have the space I need to take to feel okay. That’s what he will consider it. He probably won’t fathom what I consider it. To me it will feel like him being fine without me. And that is something I cannot prove wrong, only he can. If he wants to. If it’s even possible to prove it wrong. To me it feels like a clean cut, like him seeing this as a part of his life that is over now. I do not want it to be over, so if that’s not what he wants I hope he does something about it. Because if he doesn’t do anything, I’m going to take his silence as disregard. I’m going to let him carry on as I try to too.
041. Went to lay in his Prayer Chapel to mourn his going but once I got there I didn’t want to. It was just an empty room. I told it so. “You’re just an empty room he isn’t in anymore.”
042. I will miss what he has to say about God. His questions and his realizations. I will hear other people talking and know what he might say. I will not say it. He would say it better than I ever could.
043. I read his note to Steve. Couldn’t help it. Said something at the end about how he hopes he can come back someday? To Sky Lodge? When he can contribute? I might of killed him if he’d written that in his note to me. Would have had a hard time forgiving him for a scrap of hope. The current silence is a relief because while it isn’t what I would choose it is what I expected. Nice of him behave how my insecurities told me he would.
044. I’m not angry, but if I am it’s because sadness is debilitating and anger gives you somewhere to put the knife.
045. Reading a book on my tummy while he lays his head against my back and plays with his guitar. The sun is shining and nobody cares how close we are except for us and we like it.
046. The stupid fucking rap dance he does when he’s got headphones in. Muted mouthing the words to something cool I probably don’t know.
047. Mm. Soon comes the torturing myself with imagining what it might be like if he surprise came back. If he crawled into my bed like he’d never woke me up from it, never rushed told me he was there to say goodbye, never kissed me before my eyes were really open. He was struggling and started to walk to the front door then turned back around to hold me again to tell me how hard this was and that he loved me? That he loved me so so much? And then he actually left. And I don’t want to describe what I did then because it was fucking awful and I hope I forget about that morning completely. I hope I forget it and replace that part of my head with a sweet fucked up pretending what it could be like when the part of him that loves me so so much convinces him to crawl into my bed. Holding onto the hope that part of him exists.
048. I read his love note again last night and made it through without crying. Already. Just two days have passed and part of me is already harder than I thought it could be. I’m going to resent that note soon if the silence continues. I’m going to hate it for what it says. If you love me then where are you?
049. Jess just asked if I would come over for supper and I said no. Said I couldn’t wait to be in my bed. She seemed hurt but then said, “Can I bring you supper or do you have food in your house?” So I tearfully said that would be nice because it would. This is what I mean. How do I let anybody else take care of me that isn’t him? How the fuck does one go on?
050. I’m glad that he will not be so far away from his mother anymore. I’m so so glad for that.
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DSS Breaks Silence On Nnamdi Kanu's Escape
DSS Breaks Silence On Nnamdi Kanu’s Escape
After resurfacing in Israel, there has been controversy on social media.
The Department of State Services (DSS), has denied that five of its personnel aided Nnamdi Kanu, leader of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB) to escape from his Umuahia home on Sept. 14, 2017. But how did he escape from Nigeria without a passport?
NAN reports that Kanu’s whereabouts was unknown, until he surfaced in…
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Fic Prompts!
001 Whipped Cream. 002 Peaceful. 003 First. 004 Last. 005 Coffee.
006 Pirates. 007 Rose. 008 Hide and Seek. 009 Code. 010 Ring.
011 Chocolate. 012 Cookie. 013 Cake. 014 Candy. 015 Ice Cream.
016 Storytime. 017 Hell. 018 Frame. 019 Dust. 020 Erection.
021 Shadows. 022 Sword. 023 New Year. 024 Sunset. 025 Dawn.
026 First Sight .027 First Kiss. 028 First Date. 029 Beginning. 030 End.
031 Quest. 032 Rainbow. 033 Love. 034 Lust. 035 Travel.
036 Dark Alley. 037 Genetics. 038 Jump Rope. 039 Body .040 Poker.
041 Money. 042 Poetry. 043 Cigarettes. 044 Arrest. 045 Drown.
046 Dare. 047 Werewolf. 048 Vampire. 049 Monster. 050 Valentine.
051 Knife. 052 Ball. 053 Pillow Fight. 054 Disappearance. 055 Law.
056 Horse. 057 Hat. 058 Moonlight. 059 Scream. 060 Kinky.
061 Silk. 062 Priest. 063 Firelight. 064 Map. 065 Toys.
066 Drag. 067 Tattoo. 068 Candlelight. 069 Blindfold. 070 Piercing.
071 Touch .072 Taste .073 Smell. 074 Sight. 075 Hearing.
076 Ritual. 077 Computer. 078 Bondage. 079 One Night Stand. 080 Mirror.
081 Dance. 082 Secret. 083 War. 084 Moon. 085 Sun.
086 Stars. 087 Fire. 088 Earth. 089 Water. 090 Air.
091 Exotic. 092 Innocent. 093 Grudge. 094 Evil. 095 Perfect.
096 Promise .097 Forever. 098 Duel. 099 Reservation. 100 Campfire.
101 Gloves. 102 Woods. 103 Angry. 104 Watching the Clock. 105 Glory.
106 Sleeping In. 107 Awake. 108 Claim. 109 Pet. 110 Gift.
111 Winter. 112 Spring. 113 Autumn.1 14 Summer. 115 Change.
116 Gold. 117 Silver. 118 White. 119 Black. 120 Red.
121 Green.122 Blue.123 Purple.124 Yellow.125 Pink.
126 Paint. 127 Blind. 128 Deaf. 129 Mute. 130 Mountains.
131 Work. 132 Alone. 133 Babble. 134 Content. 135 Devious.
136 Hairbrush. 137 Incense. 138 Leather .139 Eternity. 140 Afterlife.
141 Wish. 142 Storm. 143 Candles. 144 Miracle. 145 Slut.
146 Future. 147 Masturbate. 148 Ecstasy. 149 Chart. 150 Patience.
151 Safe. 152 Superpowers. 153 Nightmare. 154 Dream. 155 Accident.
156 Escape. 157 Victim. 158 Oil. 159 Beach. 160 Snowed In.
161 Diamond. 162 Heart. 163 Spade. 164 Club. 165 Joker.
166 Sick. 167 Belief. 168 Deception. 169 Teddy Bear. 170 Imagination.
171 Kitten. 172 Christmas. 173 Virgin. 174 Lost. 175 Found.
176 Exploration. 177 Costumes. 178 Puppy. 179 Balance. 180 Energetic.
181 Cranky. 182 Fight. 183 Nature. 184 Exhausted. 185 Embarrassed.
186 Intimidated. 187 Confused. 188 Frustrated. 189 Nostalgic. 190 Hot.
191 Snow. 192 Rain. 193 Anonymous. 194 Playful. 195 Cold.
196 Sky. 197 Freedom. 198 Thankful. 199 Vulnerable. 200 Ghost.
201 Naughty. 202 Need. 203 Justice. 204 Riddle. 205 Flight.
206 Curse. 207 Champagne. 208 Ice Cube. 209 Beans. 210 Jail.
211 Wolf. 212 Hawk. 213 Whiskey.214 Beer. 215 Wine.
216 Clue. 217 Blackmail. 218 Slow. 219 School. 220 Haunting.
221 Court. 222 Trade. 223 Heartache. 224 Stolen Moments. 225 Betrayal.
226 Spy. 227 Vodka. 228 Imagination. 229 Balloons .230 Daydream.
231 Sleepover. 232 Book. 233 Lovers. 234 Strangers. 235 Friends.
236 Blood. 237 Burn. 238 Slow. 239 Family. 240 Enemies.
241 Broken. 242 Murder. 243 Reunited. 244 Fur. 245 Castle.
246 Battle. 247 Picnic. 248 Wedding. 249 Forbidden. 250 Rebellion.
251 Letter. 252 Forgiveness. 253 Gag. 254 Dancing. 255 Kidnap.
256 Surprise. 257 Desert. 258 Suspect. 259 Birth. 260 Death.
261 Choice. 262 Silence. 263 Pounce. 264 Interest. 265 Discovery.
266 Dinner. 267 Music. 268 Temper .269 Decisions. 270 Giggly.
271 Skating. 272 Midnight. 273 Fireflies. 274 Pain. 275 Dark.
276 Hours. 277 Days. 278 Weeks. 279 Months. 280 Years.
281 Interrogation. 282 Poison. 283 Adultery. 284 Conspiracy. 285 Youth.
286 Big. 287 Small. 288 Round. 289 Beaten. 290 Practice.
291 Space. 292 Cemetery. 293 Amused. 294 Razor. 295 Cuddle.
296 Drunk. 297 Greed. 298 Revenge. 299 Research. 300 Good Intentions.
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Initial wave of Hungary's 'border hunters' prepares to force back again refugees
Initial wave of Hungary's 'border hunters' prepares to force back again refugees –
Hungary caught to its guarantee of safeguarding the country against a flood of refugees by swearing in its initially wave of so-termed “border hunters” on Thursday, officers reported.
GERMAN Law enforcement SEE Help FOR CRACKDOWN In spite of SOME CRIES OF RACIAL PROFILING
Much more than five hundred border guards took their oaths in advance of their prepared deployment to the Serbian border, the Budapest Business Journal claimed. They would carry pistols with ammo as very well as pepper spray and batons, the BBC additional.
“Hungary is a single of the safest international locations in the European Union, where by there is no violence, and where by no a single drives vehicles via crowds,” Key Minister Viktor Orban reported, referring to terrorist assaults such as the July 2016 massacre in Great, France. “At the identical time, this does not suggest that such atrocities can not occur in this article.”
23 Dead, seventeen Missing Soon after FERRY CATCHES Hearth IN INDONESIA
Political leaders in Hungary have blamed non-governmental organizations for pointing refugees toward the place. Opponents took an apparent swipe at NGOs by drafting a invoice that would power the teams to post economical statements publicly, even while they haven’t been given community cash. The NGOs have termed it a plot to silence them.
Hundreds of refugees reportedly poured into Hungary and other nations in the area every day at the top of the disaster in 2015, a lot of of them sailing to Greece and traveling northwest to escape ISIS, war and famine in the Middle East. Hungary has considering that created a razor-wire fence signaling that refugees must head someplace else.
As a lot of as 100 people today nevertheless consider entering Hungary every single day, according to the prime minister’s prime stability advisor, György Bakondi. The government reportedly has aimed to enhance its number of “border hunters” to 3,000.
Meantime, Jap Europe has been underneath the grip of a lethal chilly snap, with some locations looking at its coldest temperatures in a ten years, and with refugees at sizeable threat. In Serbia, officers blamed the chilly for the fatalities of 6 people today.
Greece’s navy despatched a ship to the island of Lesbos to property some five hundred refugees and migrants. A health care association on the island reported ailments at the key camp there have been “inhuman,” with refugees in tents exposed to freezing temperatures. Legal rights team Amnesty Intercontinental urged the European Union and the Greek government to transfer migrants from the Greek islands to the mainland and launched an on-line petition.
The Related Push contributed to this report.
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Initial wave of Hungary's 'border hunters' prepares to force back again refugees was originally published on FOX NEWS
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