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#&. the dwarf of the dwarf ( mutt ; guttersniper )
tongowheel · 2 years
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@guttersniper​: you have paintings of dicks! don’t talk to me about taste! @ lister LMAO / FAL.SETTOS.
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             he could have been offended. instead, lister just guffaws, glancing over his shoulder. he’s surprised mutt’s even noticed that. or maybe he shouldn’t be so surprised. three million years in the future and five idiots and a computer on a spaceship gives him PLENTY of opportunity to take note of the little things. 
there they are — the aforementioned paintings, taken from one of the senior office’s quarters — hanging on the wall of the bunkroom. 
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“don’t worry,” he assures mutt smartly. “rimmer hates them too.”
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ncthingstars · 4 years
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@guttersniper​ / this is for you, enjoy :)))))
         they hadn’t meant for it to happen.
“i said he shouldn’t have gone,” the cat says bitterly. 
lister shoots him a look, bewildered and slightly peeved. “no you didn’t.”
“with all due respect, sir, mr. lister is correct.” kryten looks about as glum as his silicon face allows. “you said none of us should have gone. you didn’t want to scavenge that gelf ship at all. in fact, i distinctly remember you saying something about only being halfway done blowdrying your hair.” his voice turns haughty. “i on the other hand said that it would be irresponsible for him to go with us.”
cat hisses --- actually hisses! --- at them both and turns away, turning up his nose and folding his arms. kryten and lister exchange a glance, and then lister pops open his fifth lager in the last hour.
“well congrats, you two, you had the right smeggin’ idea then.” he guzzles half the can down in one go. “meanwhile, the whole thing was my idea. i was the one who said we should go. who said it would be fine, no big deal. i should’ve known better! should’ve expected this.” he hurls the now-empty can across the room and it bounces off the wall and lands in a pile with the others. “glad you two can absolve yourselves.” kryten makes a face like he’s going to interject, but ultimately falls quiet as lister keeps talking. “i mean, we’re all adults here. we do dangerous stuff all the time, but we know the risks. we can make our own decisions. but he’s just a kid. was just a kid!” he slams his hand down on the table so hard kryten and cat both jump. “smeg!” 
kryten pauses, waiting to make absolutely sure lister’s done before he says, “sir, i think you, and i, and all of know that mutt always made his own decisions no matter what. being an adult has nothing to do with it. he wanted to go. none of us could’ve stopped him.”
lister slumps in his chair. “but we could’ve protected him. i mean. we’re his family. that’s what we do.”
“i don’t think any of us could’ve stopped it,” cat says bluntly. “it came out of nowhere. seriously, what crazy scientist said ‘we should definitely teach our genetically-engineered-life-forms to use fireams’???? i don’t get it.”
“yeah, well.” lister looks like he’s trying to disappear into the ground. “we still should’ve tried.”
they lapse into solemn silence, no one really knowing what to say to that. saying we did try just feels like a cop-out, and quite frankly, a lie.
finally though, cat says, “i’m gonna miss the little guy,” and they all nod.
kryten turns to rimmer, who has been uncharacteristically quiet --- sitting at the table with them, but facing away, hands folded neatly in his lap. if kryten didn’t know better, he’d say he was meditating. “mr. rimmer, sir?” he asks. “are you alright? is there anything you’d like to say?”
no response.
“rimmer?” lister prompts, more gently. “you in there?”
rimmer turns slightly in his chair. his face is red, eyes blotchy. lister decides to not comment on that. 
“it was me,” he says, almost too quiet to hear. the others turn to him, expressions inquisitive. “it was me,” rimmer repeats, louder. “kryten said someone should stay behind on red dwarf, and i insisted it be me. it’s my fault he went and got himself shot.”
lister’s first instinct is to say something along the lines of, yeah, you smegged up real bad, rimmer, you selfish cowardly git. but he suspects rimmer is already thinking it. and frankly, they all share the blame. he knows that, even if it’s easier to try and take it all on his own shoulders. so instead, he goes, as if to pat rimmer’s arm --- and then stops, realizing he still can’t touch him. “rimmer, i can’t believe i’m saying this, but it’s really not your fault. you staying doesn’t mean he couldn’t. he didn’t want to. he wanted to come with us.”
"maybe i could’ve.... i don’t know. done something to protect him. wrestled the gun from that slimy gelf’s hands. knocked it out with its own weapon.” 
“rimmer man, no offense, but you never would’ve done that.” lister has to laugh, even if it’s not really funny, at the image of rimmer actually taking on a gelf head-on alone. “besides, you’re a hologram, you wouldn’t have be able to do any of that stuff anyway.”
“so you’re saying i’m useless.” rimmer deflates. “helpless to even save the lives of my own crew.” 
oh.
lister’s eyes widen, almost comically in sync with rimmer’s, as they both realize. 
“rimmer, listen ---” but the hologram is already rising from his chair, rushing out of the room. “smeg! rimmer ---” lister puts his head in his hands for a moment, then sighs and stands up. “guys, i’m gonna go find him, before he does something stupid.”
“but he’s always doing something stupid!” cat says.
“not helping.” cat scowls, and lister rushes out to try and catch up with rimmer.
he’s out of breath by the time he reaches the observation dome, but luckily rimmer is there, just as he suspected. he’s staring out at the starry sky, and doesn’t even turn around as lister comes up behind him. “he and i came up here a lot together,” rimmer says, and lister’s frankly surprised by how upset rimmer seems to be. maybe he actually is taking mutt’s death as hard as the rest of them. “for different reasons, obviously, but we’d both end up standing right here. it was.... i don’t know. it was the one time i ever actually felt like someone here understood me. like i could connect with someone actually living and breathing, on a personal level. we didn’t even talk most of the time.” he finally looks at lister, and this time there’s no hiding the fact that he’s been crying. well shit. even lister hasn’t found it in himself to cry yet. rimmer draws in a shaky breath. “do you think i’m a bad person?”
for a moment, lister is dumbfounded. he has no idea what to say to that. “i...” yeah. i do. and you know it. “what’s this about, rimmer, really?” he asks instead. “why the sudden ethical crisis?”
rimmer looks straight ahead again, staring at nothing as he tries to pull himself together. “as you may recall, listy, three million years ago i was responsible for the deaths of the entire crew of red dwarf.”
“yeah, i think i remember that, vaguely,” lister shoots back, unable to resist snarking at him. rimmer wrinkles his nose but otherwise ignores him.
“i was unable to do one simple task, which resulted in over one thousand lives being lost. but, i figured, i would never let it happen again. after all, it’s just the five of us. surely, i can handle that. but i couldn’t. i couldn’t even save one scrawny runt of a kid.” there’s a haunted look on his face, as if he’s thinking about some other scrawny kid from years ago. “he deserved better than that. than me.”
lister sighs, leaning his elbows on the railing. “yeah, he did,” lister agrees. “he did deserve better than you, than any of us. but that’s just how it goes. we’re who he got. and i think he was pretty smeggin’ happy with it. and he likes you, rimmer, he did. which is a miracle considering how annoying you are. and i know it’s hard, i know we’re all upset --- even the cat. but you gave him a family. doesn’t that count for something?”
rimmer is quiet as he mulls that over. “that’s more than some people get,” he says finally.
“yeah,” lister agrees, and though he knows he can’t actually touch him, he leans over against his shoulder. “it is.”
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tongowheel · 3 years
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‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ tag dump pt. 2 — characters & blogs !
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tongowheel · 2 years
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@guttersniper​: what the fuck! oh my god! @lister / ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING.
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             a shrug, which looks rather pathetic given that lister currently only has one arm. it’s weird, he doesn’t like it by any means, but —he’s gotta put on a brave face. for kochanski, who he desperately wants to impress, for kryten, who will dissolve into a puddle of anxiety if he thinks anything is wrong with him, for cat, who will take every opportunity to exploit weakness, for rimmer, who — isn’t here. and for mutt, who..... well, lister just doesn’t want him worrying about him.
too late for that though, it seems.
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“hey hey hey, it’s fine, see! i can’t play me guitar anymore, but that’s really the only downside. besides — they had to cut it off. the virus would’ve killed me otherwise. i’ll be right as rain soon. don’t worry, mutt.”
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tongowheel · 2 years
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@guttersniper​​: checkmate! @rimmer / FAL.SETTOS.
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            mouth gapes at the younger ;  rimmer almost glaring at mutt in disbelief and OFFENSE. he looks down at the board between them, brow furrowed, as he tries to comprehend how he lost.
( though, he supposes, if holly can’t even win a chess game against himself, what hope do the rest of them have? mutt’s always been the smartest of the bunch anyway, whether they like to admit it or not. )
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“that’s impossible,” he blusters, squinting at the pieces still remaining on the board and begins to pick them up, turning them over as if they’ve somehow been rigged. “how did you do that?”
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tongowheel · 2 years
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@guttersniper​: ain’t that the truth. @lister / FAL.SETTOS.
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             lister is pretty sure mutt is just agreeing with him for the sake of it, or maybe trying to make him feel better? that’s not really like mutt at all, but everything has been so fucking weird since they lost kochanski. 
“RIGHT! i mean?” he grumbles, hanging his head off the side of the bunk, opening his mouth wide so mutt can toss another cheese doodle for him to catch. “i’m sad, right?” he talks around the crumbling powder in his mouth. “cuz i loved her for like — three million years — but also? she was a great friend. better than rimmer ever was. except i don’t... miss her. the way i think i should? maybe cuz she didn’t love me back or whatever but that’s the problem cuz i fucking MISS rimmer. i did then and i still do, but she’s been gone for a month and i’m already like.... over it.”
he coughs, choking on cheese powder, and sits up, slamming his forehead on the top bunk in the process.
maybe his missing rimmer should be obvious. he’s been sleeping in his bed ever since he left.
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“does that make sense?”
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tongowheel · 3 years
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‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ ATTN: @guttersniper​
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laney guttersniper... i have never found an oc more beloved by all — in any rpc, let alone across multiple — than mutt. it’s a tricky thing, writing ocs, especially young ones, especially ones so complicated and specific. but it’s something you accomplish with such grace, and i’m honestly just SO impressed and in awe by you, literally all the time. i haven’t met a lot of people who have been consistently writing and developing their characters for as long as you have, and it’s so clear that his voice and personality are basically second nature for you. you don’t allow the integrity of his character to be compromised just to make a thread or interaction work, but you also understand how and why he makes friends, so that the dynamics you have with everyone are all unique and interested and well developed. 
but now let’s talk about YOU ! bestie laney™..... i am SO glad we became friends and really bonded over red dwarf (thinking about how i literally manifested in your dms telling you to let me know when you were on parallel universe JUST AS YOU HAD GOTTEN THROUGH TONGUE TIED... our minds). being in bean dwarf with you has been a DELIGHT even though i’m never active, our crossover stuff with red dwarf mutt and discovery mutt and hugh and paul and rimmer and lister remains one of the funniest things i’ve ever written, crying about falsettos and watching she loves me on pbs at the same time.... idk man we’ve just had some really great times over the last year, and now we’re writing more trek stuff and it’s just *chef’s kiss*. and dude you are just such a DELIGHT to have on my dashboard. not just your rp posts and your musings and headcanons but even your ooc posts about your life... i read them like the morning paper. i also blow a kiss kiss to scout. ANYWAY. thank u for blessing my dash and my dms and my twitter timeline and my LIFE — ily bestie <333
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tongowheel · 3 years
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@guttersniper​ said: you’ve been through a lot today. let us keep watch tonight. @lister / OLD MEME.
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                  to say lister’s been through a lot is perhaps an understatement. it’s been a taxing weekend — really, a taxing nine months. but as much as he’d dreaded the birth of the twins, once he held jim and bexley, he hadn’t wanted to ever let them go.
within three days, they’d aged eighteen years.
it had to be something about the incompatibility of their birth in this universe with their conception in the parallel one, but logic and scientific explanation didn’t make him feel any better. they’d managed to get the twins back to their mother’s universe, where hilly and kryten assured him they’d age normally from then on. and then he’d returned to red dwarf, and to his own universe, alone.
or so it had felt.
maybe it was because he grew up without a dad himself, but lister had grown attached to the thought of figuring out how to be a father. to be the parent to these boys that he never had.
now he’ll never get that chance.
“thanks, man,” he says, faking a smile as he stretches and yawns. “who woulda thought birthing and raising twins in three days would take so much out of a guy?” his tone is light, joking, betraying nothing of the emptiness he feels — but he supposes mutt and the others can tell anyway.
he stands, placing the palm of his hand atop mutt’s head for a moment. fingers curl in soft brown hair, scratching against his scalp — and then just as fast, lister shoves his hands in his jacket pockets and heads for the drive room exit.
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“i’m gonna try and get some rest.”
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ncthingstars · 4 years
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@guttersniper​ said: ♡ gosh im sending this just for kicks (😉  ) but also because i mentioned it earlier on discord but do mutt and the red dwarf boys if u see anything possible between them....... 👀 MEME: send ‘ ♡ ’ and i’ll talk about the type of relationship i could see our muses having STATUS: accepting !!
 ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ it has taken me like an hour to sit down and write this, partly because we’ve been talkin about red dwarf on discord but hgjekwfhgf hERE WE GO I do have thots ™ 
first up, mutt && lister. so here’s the thing. lister’s nice. he won’t antagonize you unless you antagonize him first, and even then, you have to really piss him off for that. basically, you have to be rimmer. so even with mutt’s initial harsh exterior, lister would be friendly. honestly, he’s good with kids, but he’s also not the type to baby them. so while he might look at mutt in a fatherly way to some extent ( at least if we’re talkin about the later series, which you will understand when you get there --- he just radiates dad energy lol ) i see him acting more like a very very immature older brother ( you’re welcome ) who’s more just.... fun to be around. i can see lister playing the guitar for him, in all his awful glory..... no idea what mutt will think of that. and i can also see lister convincing mutt to help him prank rimmer.... quality bonding time. the important thing here is that lister doesn’t treat him like a little kid, at least not after he gets to know him. honestly,,, mutt’s probably smarter than lister LMAO. 
and then, mutt && rimmer...... hoo boy. i don’t think rimmer dislikes mutt, but they definitely antagonize each other and secretly have fun doing it. i can’t imagine mutt actually following all of rimmer’s stupid rules and space corps directives, which makes rimmer angry, but it’s not like rimmer can actually control him. and so they reach a kind of stalemate. rimmer pretends to be annoyed by mutt’s presence all the time, but he’s got a harsher exterior than interior. THAT BEING SAID........ rimmer, who has also suffered extensive childhood trauma and abuse, can recognize it when he sees it. and though he may not always know what the right thing to say is, i think he ends up feeling some sort of kinship with mutt. especially because he’s been on his own from a young age as well after leaving home. i truly don’t know how successful he’d be at articulating this in any useful way, but what i am imagining is them both being upset/moody about something ( totally separate issues ) and going up to the observation dome, seeing the other there, and just stewing in their emotions in silence together. 
and finally, i know this isn’t what the meme asked, but i figured i’d throw out some potential backstory situations.....
option 1, similar to mutt’s star trek verse, only he stows away on starbug when they’re docked on some planet, doing some scavenging?? ( this does beg the question of where another human came from, three million years into the future though.... ) option 2, almost the same, except maybe he stows away while the ship is fully operational, and either dies in the radiation leak and is also revived as a hologram ( maybe since he’s a kid holly can sustain two??? lmao ) OR is hiding in stasis when it happens, so like lister, he’s been preserved and is released after three million years too. option 3, maybe the boys stumble across the camp that mutt escapes from, before he escapes. or as he’s escaping. and he either stows away or they just, find him and bring him back with them. ( we’ll still have to deal with the whole where did another human come from thing but i digress )
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