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#& left her in the road to die because he was a coward & didn’t want to get in trouble
elliespassagerprincess · 11 months
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𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲: 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
This story is based off the song Nobody by Mitski! If you can, please listen to the song as you're reading:)
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Pairing: Jackson!ellie x fem!reader (This story takes place after Joel died. Basically you take Dina's place, so yes Ellie walked out on you. JJ doesn't exist)
Remember requests are always open, feel free to leave one! Or you can just send me a song and I'll take it from there!
Warnings: mentions of death, and a brief mention of violence
Summary: Ellie's biggest fear becomes a reality...
(I deeply apologize for the ending....)
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My God, I'm so lonely
So I open the window
To hear sounds of people
To hear sounds of people
Ellie sighed as she opened her bedroom window. As she opened the window she was met with a cool breeze against her pale skin. She heard sounds. The sounds of people talking. The sounds of horses. The sounds of laughter, something she hasn’t done in a while.
After Ellie attempted to kill Abby, she returned back to the farm house in hopes that you were still there. She already lost Joel, she couldn’t lose you too. She knew leaving you to find some random blonde was selfish. She knew the second she walked out of that house she made a big mistake. But never in a million years did she think you would leave.
When Ellie arrived back at the farm house it was empty. Cold. The life that the two of you had built was there no more. The house was as empty and lonely as the day the two of you stumbled upon it.  All your belongings were gone. Any trace of your existence was gone. It was like you never existed.
Ellie tried, she really tried living alone. But her thoughts consumed her, every single day her mind was filled with regret. Retting the fact that she didn’t kill Abby. Regretting the fact that she left you.
If she could go back in time she could protect Joel, she could make sure he didn’t die and none of this were to happen. Everything would have been ok.
 So Ellie made the wise decision to back to Jackson.
It was a quite road. Ellie was alone on that journey. And when she arrived to Jackson everyone was happy to see her but Ellie didn’t care about them. Because they weren’t you. They weren’t Abby. They weren’t Joel.
As much as Maria and Tommy tried Ellie isolated herself. Ellie was lonely. She was consumed by anger, guilt. Regret. Ellie was filled with hate. She lost herself.
Ellie knew isolating herself was a bad idea but she did it because nobody would understand what she felt like. There was nobody apart from you and Joel that understood her, and you were both gone.
And now here Ellie sat. Looking out a window, listening to the sounds of people, trying to listen to anything else but the voices in her head.
Venus, planet of love
Was destroyed by global warming
Did its people want too much, too?
Did its people want too much?
And I don't want your pity
I just want somebody near me
Guess I'm a coward
I just want to feel alright
Ellie hated it when people sympathized with her. She remembers the first few days after Joel's passing, the way people were trying to comfort her pissed her off. Every time someone said stay strong, or he's in a better place, Ellie wanted nothing more but to grab her knife, and plunge it deeply into their throats. The only persons comfort she looked for was yours.
The weeks after Joel died, Ellie remembers all the nights she spent at your house sobbing. The nights you held her and sang her to sleep. The way you would never judge her, when she showed up at 3am . You were loving. Caring. Soft. Too pure for this fucked up world. Too pure for someone as fucked up as she was.
Right now in this moment, as she sat at the window she couldn't help but miss your comfort. The way your skin felt against hers. The way you could easily bring a smile to her lips.
The same way people destroyed the planet by killing each other during the apocalypse, the same way Ellie destroyed, your relationship. The way world went to shit in one day, the same way your relationship went to shit in one night. The same way she decided to destroy her relationship with Joel because she was mad.
She lets her anger get the best of her. she let her dark thoughts consume her, control her. She went from a women who had everything, to the women who had nothing.
All Ellie wanted was 5 more minutes with you. She just wanted to feel your touch again. She wanted you to tell her that was going to be ok.
Ellie just wanted to feel ok...
And for her to feel ok, she needed you
Nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Ooh, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody (nobody)
(Nobody, nobody)
Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, no
"When can I see her?" Ellie asked
"You know you can't" Maria said
"Please just let me see her, its been months Maria" Ellie spoke up, looking at Maria with pleading eyes, voice laced with frustration.
Maria stared at Ellie, eyes wide.
"What?" Ellie questioned
"Ellie are you sure you don’t remember what happened between you and y/n…"
Ellie quickly shook her head confused
"Ellie you killed her"
Silence filled the room as the words fell from Maria's lips.
"I killed her" Ellie whispered "no I didn’t"
"Ellie-"
"No Maria don’t lie, she's ok, she's fine, she has to be" Ellie said trying to convince herself that what Maria was saying isn’t true. It can't be true.
Loud sobs echoed through the room as Maria slowly walked out to give Ellie the space she needs to process the news.
And like a wave crashes on a shore, the memories came crashing back.
Ellie was about to leave Jackson, and you held her hand, eyes filled with tears, you begged her no to leave.
"Ellie please" were the words you muttered over and over again.
Ellie was in auto pilot, as she was getting her horse ready. She completely dissociated from the world around her. She couldn't think. She couldn't feel. The only thing she had left in her mind was getting revenge.
She had to take revenge. Revenge was the only thing on her mind. It has been the only thing on her mind since Joel died. She had to kill them. They hurt her Joel, and she was going to make sure none of them got away with it.
In a moment of rage Ellie grabbed a wooded stick that was used to close the stables and and she hit you with. You let out a terrified scream at the sudden action.
Screams of fear filled the stable. You soon fell to the ground bleeding but Ellie didn't stop. The memory of that blonde hitting Joel was replaying in her mind over and over again. Ellie saw her. The blonde on the floor. She was imagining her.
Blood splattered all over the walls and horses, as she hit you, over and over and over again. At some point you stopped moving you stopped breathing.
You had lost your life the same way Joel lost his. But you weren't killed by a stranger, you were killed by the girl you loved.
Ellies mind was blank as she stared at the body on the floor.
"Ellie" she heard Tommy spoke "what did you do?"
Ellie got up from the body, with no emotion, no remorse. And by looking at her eyes Tommy could tell didn't know what she just did. He wasn't looking at Ellie, he was looking at a monster.
"Y/n and I are leaving now, she's waiting for me at the gates" Ellie spoke quickly, hoping on her horse she rode away, in fear that Tommy might convince her to stay.
The last 5 months Ellie wasn't with you. She was imagining you were there. She was hallucinating. You weren't there anymore, and Ellie's brain blocked out the memory of her murdering you.
You weren't real. You weren't there. You were dead.
And the worst part is, Elie was the one that took your life.
So there Ellie lay. Sobbing. She was alone.
Her biggest fear was to end up alone one day. And look at what has happened.
Her father figure was murdered right before her eyes, and she murdered the love of her life.
Maybe some people deserve to die alone
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Authors note: I really hoped you enjoyed this one! I wanted to have a happy ending where they reunite and they live happily ever after, but I realized it would be out of character for me to write a happy story... Remember you are loved and to always be kind to one another! Please leave requests (if you want to obviously) its is always open!
Here's a edit of our wife:
Yours truly,
Zia :)
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cupcakes-and-pain · 8 months
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Legends Never Die
Co-written with the amazing @villainsandheroes
CW: super hero fights, physical violence, mentions of destruction of property. Not much going on here, just setting up for the real whumpy bits!
— — —
Legend strolled around the city, looking for ways he could create some trouble. The hero team had been busy recently as villains from the whole district had been attacking, several of them a day. He didn’t care much however, an itch to fight someone after running into the newest hero several days before but not getting to fight due to her running off. Coward.
Legend’s attention was caught as he looked over at the park on the south side of the city. His dragonfly-like wings spread and he flew up to a nearby building so he could get a better look. Ox, the city's resident super-strength hero, was trying to clean up the park from destruction rot on it. They were moving trees and benches as civilians were busy on the other side cleaning up the trash that had been left behind.
Legend smirked, noticing how their movements were slower than normal. He eyed the foundation of a building nearby which had already been cleaned of debris. He wondered quietly how long that took, judging by how they looked, Legend concurred they hadn’t taken much, if any of a break. He hummed a bit before whistling to get their attention.
Ox looked up, but they didn’t have to. They had a pretty good idea of who could possibly be trying to get their attention right now, and their hunch was right. “Ah, Legend. I’m a bit busy right now.” They said, gesturing at the mess. “Can’t it wait?” They give him a fond but mostly exasperated look.
“Aw. You get any sleep? Or have you been too busy helping them?” He gestured his head over to the small cleanup crews. “You know, I really don’t think it’s in your contract that you have to help them.” He chuckled while walking to the edge of the building, stepping off. His wings caught his fall and let him land.
Ox rolled their eyes and kept cleaning. Their strength made the job so much easier for the cleaning crew, who desperately needed any help that they could. “I didn’t become a hero just to get paid, you know. Doing this means going above and beyond, no matter what the contract says.”
Legend made a face, practically dripping with disapproval and annoyance. “What a generous hero. God, can’t you ever be selfish?” He glanced over at the crew before back at Ox. None of them seemed super alarmed, which was good. He didn’t want a big scene. Legend stepped even closer into their personal space. “Why not just a little fight, hm Ox?”
They tensed momentally, out of habit. But their muscles relaxed a second later, and they lightly pushed Legend away, weary with his insistence, but not upset. “Well, all of the really heavy stuff has been taken care of by now, which is what they really need me for. How about this? If we go to a different area, and you promise to not make a mess, then we can fight. Do you hear me? Not a single. Ounce. Of. Damage. Not a broken branch of a city tree or a crack in the road.”
"Or what?" He leaned over them. "Because I really think the city could put more of their attention in this part of the city." He whispered while smiling gently.
“More attention needed to this part does not mean you should wreck it. No, we’re going somewhere else. Even just a few blocks over. I won’t let you cause havoc here.” Ox said, raising an eyebrow. A civil and good-hearted, although very genuine, challenge.
Legend eyed them before letting out a deep sigh. "You have two minutes to get there before I get bored." He flew off to an area with a more open field away from everyone. Fully prepared to go right back to the city, planning out in his head which buildings he would attack first.
Ox grumbled to themself about Legend, running after him as fast as they could while still conserving energy for the fight. “What a jerk…” they whisper to themself, trying to find when he went.
He hummed softly, looking up as they ran closer. Flying up in the air to get behind them before diving at them and slamming them into the ground.
All the earlier bits of fondness were mostly gone from their eyes as their mind shifted into Serious Hero Time. They had no problem shoving him off and rose to their feet as quickly as possible. They weren’t one for talking during a fight, so they didn’t. Their body tense and their muscles prepared to spring into action and defend against Legend’s attacks.
Legend was content with the situation, the fighting back and forth lasted for a while. Ox was one of the heroes on the team that Legend struggled fighting the most due to their strength aspect, but it made it all that more of a challenge. Eventually, he pulled back instead of leaping forward. “Nice fighting, good to see you aren’t rusty.” He gave them a smile before flying off.
Ox wiped the sweat off of their brow. Legend was always doing stuff like this. Forcing a fight, then leaving just as suddenly. And although he could be dangerous, he wasn’t a super violent villain— not that Ox would ever say that to his face — and his wings were a nice change of pace from most fights. Checking over themself, Ox started heading back to the hub. They had to write up a report on the fight that had just transpired before they could finally go home and rest.
One of their teammates waved over from the couch. "Hey, Andi! Is everything ok? Saw Legend on the news."
Andi sighed, flopping down on the couch with all the gracefulness of a, well, tired ox. “Well, he didn’t really cause much damage to buildings, and no civilians got hurt, so I’d say things are okay.”
Luna smiled sympathetically. Leaning over to gently rub their back. "I'll get you a snack. Sweet or salty?" She stood up.
“Sweet, please. Do we have any more of those little cookies?” Andi stayed sitting, but they watched Luna fondly. They were proud of her like they were of all the heroes on this team.
Most districts only needed a couple heroes, but due to the dangerous location with so many government-lead facilities around, the government allowed quite a lot of heroes in the area. The first six months or so was miserable as they struggled with trying to figure out each other's schedules. Who had what villains at what point in time. Their Leader was the one who had the idea that they just all become a team. Backup was needed for some fights anyways, so it made sense.
Everyone had been excited about the team and their performances all went up as well. One of their teammates had sent in a request for a hub, and surprisingly the government complied and began work. The facility wasn’t too huge but it was much more than most heroes got. There were work offices, several joined living areas, a kitchen with thousands of dollars worth of appliances.
And then Luna had come along a year or so ago. She was an up and rising hero, with very little experience. Surprisingly though, she wasn’t holding the group back in any ways. In fact, their little group had grown quite a lot since she had joined.
“Mhm! I’ll be right back.” Luna left to go to the kitchen. She hummed to herself as she got a plate of cookies and some water for them as well. Carefully added in flavorless electrolytes so Andi could recover a little bit easier from working non-stop. Luna picked up one of the report packets from the kitchen counter and brought them over, smiling a bit while presenting everything. “Voilá.”
Andi smiled, taking the plate and the packet. They began to fill out the report while munching happily on their snack. They had to brush away fallen crumbs from the papers every once in a while, but they finished at last. As they put away the plate and turned in the form, Andi noticed that Luna was still in the lounge. They gave her a friendly smile. “So, what about you? Have any big villain fights yet?”
“Yeah, actually.” She smiled, looking up from her book. “A couple of days ago some of the villains were causing trouble and the others were busy so I got my first solo battle.” She smiled. “Yesterday Legend found out and challenged me. Buuuut I didn’t wanna risk fighting him yet. I think I need more experience in hand-to-hand combat.”
“You came face to face with Legend? Wow.” Andi knew that Legend wouldn’t have tried to seriously hurt her, but that jerk wasn’t exactly known for his carefulness. They gave Luna a concerned look. “I’m glad you recognized you aren’t ready yet. Congratulations on the solo fight, and be careful out there.” With that, Andi said their goodbyes and headed home. After everything today, they were ready to shower and sleep as long as their body let them.
She smiled softly, though it dropped the moment they left. “Not ready yet… I’ll show you Andi.” She rubbed her arm lightly before going out to train with the others.
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violetfoxviolarose · 2 years
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Some funny N.E.R.D.S Incorrect Quotes I Generated Last Night
Ruby: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Heathcliff: You're like 15 years old
Ruby: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!
...
Jackson: Here's some advice
Mindy: I didn't ask for any
Jackson: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me
...
Duncan: We need to get through this locked door. Flinch, give me your credit card.
Flinch: Here.
Duncan, pocketing it: Thanks. Matilda, kick down the door.
...
Jackson: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Duncan will and will not eat.
Flinch: Grass? Yes!
Jackson: Moss? Yes!!
Flinch: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Jackson: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Flinch: Worms? Sometimes!
Jackson: Rocks? Usually nah.
Flinch: Twigs? Usually!
Jackson: Matilda's cooking? Inconclusive!
Ruby: How did you… test this?
Jackson: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it.
Ruby: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.
Matilda: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
...
Matilda: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Jackson: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents
Matilda: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Ruby: Actually I did the math, Jackson would have $225, not $0.15.
Jackson: Fam I’m right here....
Flinch: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Duncan: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Flinch: Sorry I only have a dollar
Duncan: :(
Ruby: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Jackson would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Flinch: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Ruby: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Matilda: Yeah and he wants soda and apply juice
Ruby: Apply juice to what
Heathcliff: Directly to the forehead
Jackson: Great chat everyone
...
Heathcliff: I'm a reverse necromancer.
Ruby: Isn't that just killing people?
Heathcliff: Ah, technicality.
...
Heathcliff: What is your biggest weakness?
Ruby: I can be uncooperative.
Heathcliff: Okay, can you give me an example?
Ruby: No.
...
Duncan: What does 'take out' mean?
Flinch: Food.
Jackson: Dating
Heathcliff: Murder
Matilda: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.
...
Duncan: Flinch and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Jackson: *Sighing* What did Flinch do?
Duncan: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Flinch: Who wants a steering wheel?
...
Jackson: *Screams*
Flinch: *Screams louder to assert dominance*
Heathcliff: Should we do something?!
Duncan, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.
...
Mindy: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Ruby: Wasn't Matilda with you?
Matilda: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
...
Duncan: Croissants: dropped
Jackson: Road: works ahead
Mindy: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Flinch: Shavacado: fre
Matilda: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Ruby:
Ruby, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.
...
Duncan: Good morning.
Jackson: Good morning.
Heathcliff: Good morning.
Flinch: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
Matilda: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS
...
Matilda: Fuck.
Ruby: We've got to work on your cursing.
Matilda: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.
...
Jackson: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Matilda's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get her out...
...
Jackson: Ruby isn’t answering her phone
Heathcliff: I’ll call
Jackson: Flinch and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Ruby: Hello?
...
Jackson: Rules are made to be broken.
Ruby: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Flinch: Uh, piñatas.
Heathcliff: Glow sticks.
Matilda: Karate boards.
Duncan: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Jackson: Rules.
Ruby:
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patricidekid · 9 months
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My father tried to kill me , my mom multiples times.
I should have died, it’s funny how fates work ? In the end i should have died, i almost killed him too.
Every car ride during their divorces, every screaming fighting was the scary ghost of murders, he ran after her with an knife, she left, no one cared about the kids in the home.
No cops showed up, my aunt knew but just called him to try to talk.
They all abandoned us there, the only reason of why my dad didn’t do it was because he was scared of them calling cops, of not having the time to end his life, to be punished for his mistake.
Oh only if he knew that no one cared about the fates of broken bandaid child, all born for fixing an doomed relationship.
The only reason of me being a survivor is my dad weakness, an coward, an bastard, an perfect liar protected by everyone’s around.
If he didn’t killed us literally he did it mentally.
I prayed god, spiderman, everything.
I saw myself dying in his hand so many times, i learned the selfish scared of survivors, of crying in silence when he was beating my little brother because if we dared to speak… we would die, be abandoned, burned alive, stabbed.
I died at that dinner tables, every lunch, nothing was perfect everything was a reason to mock, bully, hit.
The bike day after my mom and dad broke up, my dad bringed me and my siblings deep in the wood with our bikes…. he beated, screamed at us for not being perfect.
Slut, bastard, bitch, asshole, mistake we were all that.
If my brother didn’t cried too loud, if those hitchhiker didn’t walked near, i would be dead.
One day on the side of an road if that guy didn’t stopped to ask if everything was alright… my mom would have died stabbed, we would have died locked in an car burned as gas was in our body inhaling it.
It’s an detail everyone forgot about but i remember it brightly, the car inside smelled gas.
One day before their broke up, he throwed my mom phones on the road and then he tried to run her over and then send the car into the ravine with us in the back.
But no one remember that ? Im the witness that no one want to acknowledge or see, he’s an great man, an cool dad right ? He bought my silence for years, my sister and brother don’t remember everything.
I wished it could stay like that, i be the only one suffering, the only witness, i would have protected and shielded them.
But it’s not true, one day their memories will comeback, all those horribles years buried would haunt them.
We were all broken, all killed so he could live, so he could buy himself an new happiness.
I’m weak too, i should have stabbed him, shot him.
Every time he beated or screamed at us that he should kill himself or abandon us, kill my mother, my stepfather, us, burn the house for guit tripping, keeping the control.
I should have jumped on him, i should have grabbed the rifle in the closet, the knife, the hammer, everything.
I should have stabbed his heart, his face so many times, his blood should had painted my face.
But i didn’t, i wasn’t an hero, an brave knights no i was just an scared child who learned to cry in silence so she won’t get slapped.
I couldn’t have done it, it wasn’t my roles, the system, family everyone abandoned us, doomed failed bandaid kid.
I wish he died, i wish he killed himself, i wish my dad wasn’t an coward bastard.
I wish my mom, family didn’t protected him, but they did.
« Poor bastard, he lost everything hes a good man, his pain is understandable »
Oh they all knew they just didn’t wanted to acknowledge it, all cowards, weak.
They killed us, he killed us and i couldn’t kill him.
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adamsart · 1 year
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Fuck so I saved Shelby once again and took her in even tho I told mark I wouldn’t save her. Then I sent her back to stay with mark but we were in love at this point and I knew I was destined to be with her. I thought about her all the time. I always wanted her by my side and I made sure she was loved and taken care of. I got her car back from her mother only to lose it to the third impound in a month like 2 years later. These were the happiest years of my life. I don’t know if I’ll ever find that kind of love ever again. Shelby was with me thru thick and thin and stuck threw some pretty scary shit like gunpoint robberies, kidnappings, had her set up this guy we knew and she didn’t know until I mollywhopped his ass for stealing from me. Shelby was a beautiful person and her soul was so beautiful. After getting out of Sacramento county late one December I tried to call home and wish my family a merry Christmas and happy birthday to my brother. No one answered I figured it was because of me but what I didn’t know is my brother had just gone back to jail and my mother was left with no pain meds and a nasty infection in her bowls that she couldn’t fix cause she was allergic to antibiotics. My father tracked me down how I don’t know but he tracked me down and told me he couldn’t watch my mother die and the doctors gave her 24 hours she only actually lasted 3 hours and my father couldn’t watch his wife of over 25 years due infront of him and he felt like a coward. One of the most heartbreaking calls of my life. My mother died the 27th of December 2012. I decided I was going to go to a truck stop and someone would give me a ride in there truck and get me home. I was broke and my brothers wife had now stepped in and was in control of my fathers phone, bank account, vehicles everything and as soon as she showed up my father could no longer talk to me on the phone only thru Sarah over text message was the only way I was allowed to try to speak to my father. After 2 days of sitting at the truck stop with a pathetic sign that read MOTHER PASSED AWAY JUST NEED A RIDE TO SALT LAKE UTAH after 2 days I finally decided I was just going to have to steal a car and chance it my dad needed me and I needed to get there for my mothers funeral. So I preyed to god to help me and that night a girl I had just met her name was ANGEL came to where I was staying and she gave me a set of keys that she found in the laundry room of her building and I went to the apartments and found the car right away. I still have to make amends to those people. I was desperate and selfish. The car was empty when I stole it and the first person Shelby asked filled us up to full and we were on our way the next time we had to refuel it was the same thing first person filled us up and we were back on the road the last time I stoped for gas we were just outside of Utah and the first person filled up our tank again. And gave us a card with a bible quote on it. The last time I stopped it was right across the Utah border and A UHP officer pulled away from a stop to come after us and get us pulled over. After running our tags it took another 15 minutes before they shout down that side of the freeway and pulled me out of the car felony style. I went to jail and had to call and speak to my dad and tell him I wasn’t going to make it home for moms funeral. Maybe the hardest phone call of my life I can only think of one worst. Man I just wanted to give up and die. Missed my mothers funeral and on top of the new felony for a stolen car I was already wanted for 7 pounds of weed they busted me with just before my divorce as well as 4 prescription forgeries 4 insurance fraud and 1 commercial burglary. I was taken to toole county and somehow talked to he judge into releasing me to Davis county after 1 month. I went to Davis county jail and Shelby was released that day. I still had a 50,000$ bond to get out. Where there is a will there is a way cause I was only in Davis county jail 5 hours before I had found a bondsman to get me out on a signature and promise to pay in a week.
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tarosin · 3 years
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the great adventures of y/n, tommy, wilbur and phil
requested: yes/no
an: part 7 of the great adventures series - a rollercoaster of emotions
warnings: cursing, jokes about death (like the vlog) , didn’t proof read as its 6am sorry for any mistakes
it had been around a week since you last spoke to tubbo, the pair of you got into a heated argument and honestly you didn’t want to be anywhere near the boy. no one heard from you since you and tubbo blocked each other, ranboo would talk to you about how you need to forgive and forget and Tommy would do the same to tubbo eventually you unblocked each other however apart from that it was pretty much useless neither of you were willing to talk to the other person, it was just one of those things that needed time, soon enough you’d be friends again. at least you hoped that would be the case. later that day Wilbur sent you a message asking what time he should pick you up tomorrow not wanting to argue you let him know a time and went off to get ready for the night.
The car ride to Alton towers was pretty quiet the majority of the ride was spent playing random car games like eye spy or singing along to the radio as there was no traffic you got there rather quickly giving you longer in the park. you loved theme parks and Tommy knew this so he took the opportunity to invite you and get you out of the house, he also knew he would need the support. Phil began recording as you all made your way through the park the sky car was first so you could get to the other half of the park Tommy made it pretty clear he wasn’t the biggest fan of this and you and Wilbur didn’t help his cause by discussing the recent crash in Italy that killed a group of people, you pointed out all the rides you passed teasing Tommy whilst Wilbur interviewed him on why he wanted to hit 10 million subs, as soon as Tommy mentioned the girl from college your eyes widened and you sat trying not to laugh as Wilbur and Phil sat telling him to call her. Tommy looked at you trying to get back up but you responded by telling him you want to speak to her.
once off the sky car you stood with an arm around Tommy's shoulders as Wilbur spoke to the girl who you’re hoping is in on it and that they’re not calling up the poor girl unexpectedly. as soon as you were informed that her favourite ride was the smiler Tommy pulled you into a hug hiding his face in the crook of your neck
“Are you serious”
“you’ll be fine it’s the safest ride here...if you ignore the crash”
“y/nnnnn”
the four of you walked around the park looking for an easy rollercoaster as you make your way up to the smiler, the blade caught Wilbur's eye so the three of you made your way whilst Phil decided to stay back to record, you sat next to Tommy reassuring him that he’s going to be fine and how it can’t be that bad as a family with a young child got on the ride after you.
“if I pee myself will you laugh at me”
“yes..actually that’ll make it easier for me”
“Please don’t do that Wilbur”
“only for you y/n”
the ride started slowly however the speed soon picked up you sat laughing as Tommy went on to make references about technoblade and how he’s never going to die. soon enough the three of you began ‘singing’ the lyrics to road trip in an attempt to calm down a little bit. was it working? no. a few minutes later the ride came to an end as you made your way off of the ride you heard a child screaming about how fun it was
“awe”
“how is that six-year-old shouting I loved it”
“are we cowards”
“yes, yes you are”
you made it to Phil first and rambled on about how fun it was before Wilbur and Tommy made it to you both wanting to go home
on your journey to the next ride, Tommy pointed out claw machines and dragged you to them, Phil had a go first and didn’t win the dog Tommy wanted, you had a go determined to win however like Phil you didn’t win
“This is bullshit ill buy you a toy dog”
“Why are you never satisfied”
“Good question”
you walked away from the machines with the others Tommy complained that he was being forced to go on the rides, you pointed at the smiler and Wilbur announced you could all go on that now, the rest of the walk was pretty quiet after that. soon enough you were in the queue to go on duel, you were walking with Phil not realising that Wilbur was currently telling your best friend that he was going to die, the only reason you found out was because Tommy ran up to you asking if he was going to die
“Tommy, no who told you that... Wilbur stop laughing it’s not- it’s not funny”
“y/n you’re quite literally laughing”
you put your finger on your lips and walked off. you sat with Phil so you could have a break from Tommy screaming in your ear as soon as Tommy yelled there were guns the ride began, you weren’t the best at this ride you missed the target a few too many times than you’d like to admit, once the ride was over Tommy made the mistake of laughing about how low your score was you made eye contact with Tommy and placed your hand on his shoulder
“Tommy... you screamed at everything the entire way around. if that ride was any longer i’m afraid I’d lose my hearing”
“didn’t you also do shit Tommy”
“fuck off”
and with that you left the ride walking through the gift shop, you and Tommy were like little children picking up anything that was covered in bright colours, you and Tommy found a squishy monster and named it Clarence you ended up getting attached and Wilbur stayed with you as you paid for it whilst Phil and Tommy were leaving the shop
“Phil we lost y/n and Wilbur”
“sorry y/n got distracted”
you all continued walking to the next ride Tommy instantly got distracted by the dryer outside of the river rapids ride and spent a good few minutes asking to go into the dryer. at this point, you noticed another toy shop and ran off to that one whilst they argued with Tommy about the dryer a few minutes later you met up with them again as you began making your way to the next ride
“what I hate the most about Phil is his kindness”
“wasn’t kind enough to let me win on duel”
“I pray on his downfall”
Phil turned to you only to be met with you nodding as Tommy goes on to talk about hating his generosity
“Phil I've been thinking about you... it’s ruined my day”
“mine was ruined by Tommy screaming at stupid o clock in the morning”
“y/n it’s 12 pm”
“okay and I usually wake up at 3 pm this is early for me”
you stood in the queue for river rapids, as much as you wanted to make Tommy calm down you hated this ride and Wilbur saying there was a chance of drowning made you hate it even more
“y/n will we be fine”
“no this is horrifying I remember the incident where someone was dragged under a ride like this”
“Y/N”
“what are you two thinking about then”
“I’m thinking about the beyond”
“I’m thinking about the sweet release of death”
“you might be going there”
“no, we won’t”
you and Tommy began to panic as you got closer to the ride, Tommy announced the floor was moving which tricked your brain into believing that the floor was moving, Wilbur was still talking about you all dying in a few minutes whilst laughing at Phil trying to make him stop despite the fact he was clearly laughing. Tommy got on first as you were making your way to a seat Tommy pulled you over to him so you were sat together. a worker came over and told you all to keep your seat during the ride
“can I get off”
as soon as you finished your sentence the ride began to move making the others laugh
“ill take that as a no”
a few minutes later you forgot you were scared as you were too busy laughing about the fact that so far out of the four of you the only person getting drenched in water was Phil. this newfound confidence didn't last long the ride began going faster and you and Tommy got drenched in water
“We made it through the second most dangerous part”
“heh...”
you looked at Phil tilting your head waiting for him to confirm that Wilbur was just trying to scare you again. your thoughts were interrupted by Wilbur beginning to speak to the camera
“Alton towers is a very safe and risk-free theme park fun for all the family”
he flipped the camera so the three of you could be seen Phil was laughing Tommy had his head in his hands and you were sat with your hood over your head hiding your face so you couldn’t see what was going to happen. Phil told you to hold on but he was interrupted by Wilbur using the camera to record the four of you together again it was clear you and Tommy were not having the most fun on the ride compared to the others. the ride crashed into the small wall next to the ride causing it to jerk forward making the four of you hit your leg
“my fucking thigh”
“y/n there are children nearby”
“y/n, Tommy you two are lucky to be alive”
you and Tommy turned to face each other then looked back at Wilbur who was continuing to chant that you’re lucky to be alive clearly ignoring Phil who was telling him to stop. eventually, the ride came to an end and you all got off, Phil helped you walk around for a minute as your legs felt extremely weak after that ride
“you okay now y/n”
“yeah yeah thank you, Phil. I'm never going on that ride again”
you all made your way to the centre of the park Wilbur disappeared as you and Tommy stood begging Phil for cotton candy, your only argument being that you really wanted it
“please Phil”
“We can have a little”
“we’re growing Phil we need more than a little”
“it’s diabetes in a box”
“it’s pure joy”
“yeah it’s fun in a box let us get some”
“stop being a dick”
Wilbur came running out of a shop carrying as much cotton candy as he could shouting for you and Tommy to take some and run which you gladly did. the pair of you sat on the grass eating as much cotton candy as you could
“ITS BLUEBERRY”
“that is so sugary”
you and Tommy both grabbed a fistful of cotton candy waving it at the two adults in front of you both, resulting in Phil calling you both goblins, they both walked away leaving you two to enjoy each other’s company for a little while whilst they had a break from the pair of you screaming.
“that’s..that's Tommy and y/n”
it was almost time to face the smiler but before that, you had to conquer oblivion again this was another ride that terrified you but Tommy's reaction to the ride made you laugh for a good few minutes until you realised you were in the queue
“oh fuck. we are going to die”
“you’ll impress the girl and y/n you’ll impress tubbo”
“ill buy her flowers”
“This is a death trap” you went on first and sat a few seats away from the middle Tommy not far behind you
“if we die ill never forgive you”
“you’ll be fine”
“will we though”
“I mean”
“Tommy she was hesitant to answer that get me off this ride”
just like last time the ride started just as you finished trying to get off the ride
“y/n you really need to stop asking to get off the rides it makes them start earlier”
the way to the top of the ride was mainly just you and Tommy yelling curse words trying to stay calm
“Phil do we have to”
“Why could I not stay with Wilbur”
“awe look at the view”
“can we just stay up here- oh shit don’t look down”
“any last words”
“lovely knowing you all”
just before the ride was about to go down the drop Tommy grabbed your hand only letting go for a minute whilst you got off of the ride, as soon as you were making your way to Wilbur so you could all go on the spinball wizard ride he held your hand again keeping you close. your way to the ride was a range of Wilbur telling you all about the smiler or Tommy telling you all he was worried he was going to piss
“what the fuck is yours and Wilburs obsession with announcing you might piss on the ride”
you sat with Wilbur for this ride as he was the only person you hadn’t sat with yet and Tommy sat behind you both, you and Wilbur spent the ride screaming, yelling song lyrics or saying your goodbyes
“for lmanburg”
“Should I be worried.. you did you know create an explosion”
you spent the rest of the ride laughing before it came to an end. you all made your way to the smiler making jokes about how it’s all the girl from college wants to see him on.
“you ready Tommy”
“let’s go home”
“no”
“y/n you’re supposed to be on my team”
the four of you made your way through the gates ignoring Tommy who was yelling about it being a prison simulator, you sat at the end next to Tommy
“so this is safe”
“apart from the crashes yeah”
“y/n? is it safe?”
“it’s safe Tommy I can see you’re genuinely scared I wouldn’t lie in a time like this..maybe”
you and Wilbur agreed to become his wingmen and a few seconds later the ride began, you spent the ride laughing quietly as Tommy began confessing his love
“POGCHAMP”
“I WISH I SAT SOMEWHERE ELSE”
as soon as the ride ended you stood as a group again and called the girl from college, Wilbur practically yelled about how Tommy went on the smiler only for the girl to ask who Tommy was and how she wasn’t friends with him
“it’s okay mate”
“you okay Tommy”
you and Wilbur pulled Tommy into a hug.
a few minutes later you all made your way back to the car park as it was getting late. once in the car you handed Tommy the squishy monster you both named Clarence, Tommy screamed whilst pulling you into a hug before asking you how and when you were able to buy it. when you were halfway home you began to get a migraine Tommy pulled you into a side hug so you could rest your head on his shoulder and have a nap for the rest of the journey back home.
a few days late you received a message
tubbo: I miss you
y/n: I suppose I miss you too
tubbo: that’s good because I’m outside please let me inside
y/n: on it!!
taglist:
@l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @c1loudee
506 notes · View notes
apricotcrisps · 2 years
Text
wake up
yoyoyoyo another request homies and ngl struggling with that writer’s block so hopefully this doesn’t suck too bad because its vvv short haha
pairing: glenn x reader (platonic) 
request: Maybe the reader is traumatized by everything that’s happened so far and is too scared to do anything so she’s just kinda…there and the group votes to kick her out even though they don’t want to but it’s for the sake of the group…Glenn finds this outrageous and he’s the one that really tries to help her and get the reader to wake up and get her into shape
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The end of the world hit you harder than you thought it would. You would've liked to think you’d be the badass heroine with nothing to lose and no fear, and instead, you were a coward. 
Your biggest fear. Being a coward. Having to rely on others. Yet, here you were. 
In the beginning it was different. You were a bit of a help to the group, cooking whatever was caught for the day and keeping an eye on the kids. It seemed like enough. It was enough, at least at the time. Nobody expected you to do anything more.  
The CDC. Hershel losing his leg. Lori dying. Judith being born at the same time. It was all starting to catch up to you. Something about the world terrified you all in a completely new way, and your brain shut off. Not moving meant not dying. This you knew. 
You didn’t know how long you were in your cell. The time seemed to just fade away into an endless cycle. You could kind of keep track of it if you tried hard enough. 
Hershel had been in a couple times, saying words you couldn’t hear to someone you couldn’t see. It was like you were underwater and they were on the surface trying to reach you. 
You didn’t know what was happening to you. Nothing happened to you. You hadn’t ever been close enough to kill a walker, but something about having blood on your hands shook you to your core. 
Maggie came in and moved you off the bed once to get you over to the shower block, moving you back later and placing you in the same position you were in. 
Glenn came in what you assumed was every day, maybe every hour. 
You wanted to move. You did, but something small and powerful inside your brain was terrified, controlling your entire being. Your were screaming at yourself to just say one word, anything to Glenn to let you know that there was something left in you.
Eventually, something connected in your brain and everything was put into hyper focus all at once, the pounding in your head making the words you were hearing painfully clear.
“What do you mean ‘kick her out?” 
It was Glenn. 
“I mean that she has to leave. We’re running out of resources and if she can't help herself we can’t help her,” Rick said. 
It was about you. They obviously didn’t think you were awake. 
“Are you serious? We can’t just drop her off on the side of the road! She’ll die out there!” Glenn was yelling now. 
“We’re not just going to dump her. She’ll get water, food, a weapon. This isn’t an easy decision, son,” Hershel spoke now. 
A silence fell over the group. 
This was it. They were done with you. 
“No. It’s not happening. Today. Give me today just to get her up and doing things. Then if you decide to kick her out, just know that I go too,” Glenn spoke. His tone was harsh and you knew he was mad. 
“He goes, I go,” Maggie chimed in. 
“Now Maggie, let’s not be that rash. This is for the group,” Hershel said, and you could hear the clack of his crutches as he moved. 
“No, it’s not, and you know that, daddy. There aren’t that many people left in the world. Good ones at that. We don’t get to pick and choose anymore.” 
Silence again. A chorus of footsteps told you the conversation was over. 
Glenn came into your cell sighing. He sat in the chair directly across from your bed, looking right at you. 
“They want to kick you out, Y/N. Do you hear me?” 
You did. 
“Y/N, you gotta move. Please. Please just move,” his voice lowered, and he grabbed your hand, almost pulling you out of the bed. 
“Fine! Fine!” you groaned, standing on your feet, stumbling a bit. Days of laying down clearly had its effect on you. 
“Okay. First step, going outside,” he said as he took your arm in his and helped you leave the cell. 
It was almost embarrassing. It wasn’t like you had an injury. It wasn’t like you actually had something happen to you. Glenn was the one who had actually been hurt when the Governor had him. 
The sun blinded you, and you covered your eyes with your hands to try and dim the brightness. More walkers had gathered at the fence than there were the last time you’d been outside, and it was leaning over as if it was close to falling. 
The thought terrified you. Hundreds of walkers all of a sudden in the prison yard. One less fence to hide behind. You didn’t want to hide anymore, but you didn’t know how not to. 
Glenn smiled at you, taking your hand once more and moving closer to the fence. Every step you took made your legs shake, and you didn’t know if it was nerves or lack of use. 
“First step,” he said handing you a pole. “Kill one from behind the fence. Figure out the right place to hit.” 
You took the pole in your hands, feeling the cool metal against your hot palms. 
He led you to an area with less walkers, taking his own pole and turning to you. 
“Alright. It’s kind of tricky through the fence, but easier to learn with. Just line the hole up with the center of it’s head. Right between the eyes and push,” he grunted as he said it, demonstrating his own words. 
“And that’s it. Easy peasy.” 
You sighed. There’s no way it was as easy as he made it look. 
“Okay. Easy peasy,” you repeated, taking your own pole and a deep breath. 
Lining the pole up with the walkers head, you sighed before closing your eyes and pushing the pole as  hard as you could, feeling the pressure as the pole entered the walkers head. 
You opened them at Glenn’s cheers, almost not believing that you killed one. 
“Holy shit, Y/N! You did it! You did it!”
You laughed at yourself, almost embarrassed that you had never done that before. 
“Alright! Lets do a couple more,” Glenn encouraged. 
After a while, it became easier, and you couldn’t help but kind of enjoy it. It was repetitive, and weirdly calming. It was a while before Glenn spoke up again, and together you’d both cleared a good amount. 
“Alright. That was good. Next step. A walker on its own. No fence,” he said. 
At that, your face drained. 
“No, no, no, no, no, Glenn. No way. I’m not ready,” you shook your head, backing up as you said it. There was no way. Killing them on the fence was one thing, but out in the open was another. 
He took your arm again, dragging you along to the gate. 
“It’s gonna be fine, Y/N. I’ll be there and if it goes bad, I’ll step in.” 
You were freaking out on the inside. There was no way you’d be able to do it.
Next thing you knew, you were outside the fence in a clearing, waiting for a walker to make its way over to you. Glenn let you keep the pole, you weren’t ready to get that close and use a knife. 
“Okay, Y/N. Same thing. You got it.” 
“Okay,” you breathed. You can do this. 
The walker got closer and you were nearly shaking. “Okay. Okay,” you whispered to yourself. 
As soon as it was close enough, you counted down. 
3. 
2.
1. 
You pushed with the same strength you did at the fence, feeling the same pressure. 
“Oh my god,” you breathed. There the walker was, at the end of your pole, dead. 
You couldn’t believe it. You did it. 
“Yes, Y/N! I told you! Easy peasy,” Glenn told you, clapping his hand on your back. 
“That was fun and all, Glenn, but I think I’m done for the day. But hey, thank you. Like really. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t done this and they kicked me out.” 
“Of course, Y/N. You’re family. My best friend. I wasn’t gonna let them do that. No way,” he said giving you a hug.  For once, you didn’t feel completely terrified at the thought of being alone. For once, you felt safe, and loved and able, and that was good enough for you. 
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makeste · 3 years
Text
BnHA Chapter 300: Days of Our Todorokis
Previously on BnHA: Hawks was all “hey Jeanist, wanna go on a road trip with me to my mom’s house?” Jeanist was all “you know it,” and so they hopped into Jeanist’s jercedes and took off. Hawks took a nap and had a flashback to his Dickensian childhood living in a abject poverty with his jerk mom and jerk dad, thinking heroes were make-believe until one day Endeavor arrested his dad and Baby Hawks was all “OH SHIT.” And then he saved a bunch of people, and the HPSC was all “what do we have here,” and blah blah blah, you know the rest. Back in the present, Hawks was all “well my life is currently in shambles, but on the plus side there’s no one bossing me around anymore so that’s pretty cool,” and then decided he was going to talk to Endeavor. Fandom was all “I can’t believe Hawks would side with his childhood hero over the man who burned his wings off and posted a video calling him a violent murderer who took after his abusive dad,” so that was fun and stuff. I can’t wait to see what piping fresh takes this new chapter will bring.
Today on BnHA: Our old friend Carbonation Carl tries to loot a Starbucks and gets his ass kicked by a senior citizen. Society is all “YEAH, WE’RE REALLY STARTING TO GET SICK OF THIS SHIT.” Old Man Samurai is all “this room won’t stop me because I can’t read it” and abruptly decides to retire, which, fun fact, is literally THE LEAST HELPFUL THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE. Anyway so then a bunch of other punkasses follow suit, and while I won’t say that I’m actually starting to root for Stain to kill some peeps, just for the record I’m not not saying that either. Back in the hospital, Endeavor cries some tears because his life sucks, and then is confronted by his entire family, LED BY QUEEN REI, FIRST OF HER NAME, BACK IN BUSINESS AND LARGE AND IN CHARGE. Rei is all “fuck feeling sorry for yourself, we have a rogue Murder Son on the loose” and I swear to god I have never felt so alive.
so here we go! and just for the record, even though the last two chapters have been phenomenal, I don’t necessarily have any sky-high expectations for chapter 300, mostly because chapters 100 and 200 consisted of Mei Boobs, and Toadette and her horrific quirk lmao. so go ahead Horikoshi, what are you gonna pull out of your hat for this one
oh, back to this stuff again. sob
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I guess there was only so much time we could spend having hospital antics and exploring Hawks’s past before we got back to dealing with the whole “the world has gone to absolute shit” issue huh, lol
omg
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what’s with these bizarrely cute Noumus. why do I want to pet them
so the narrative text is going on about how people have been super paranoid about the Noumu ever since the USJ incident a year ago. so yeah, I guess the fact that there are now a bunch of them confirmed to be running around is really freaking people out even on top of everything else
wtf is happening here
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what did this poor lil glass ever do to anyone. r.i.p.
OH MY FUCKING GOD
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SODA SAM IS BACK ON THE LAM
tsk tsk tsk. my man has graduated from snatching purses to raiding cafes. going after that big money. this man has no business sense whatsoever lmao
OH BUT WATCH IT NOW!!
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OH SNAP THE PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING BACK. WHATCHA GONNA DO NOW SAM
THIS MAN IS 172 YEARS OLD AND HE’S NOT HERE TO PLAY GAMES!!
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WTF IS HE LIGHTING THIS THING ON FIRE OR SOME SHIT. GETTEM GRANDPA YEAHHHH HE’S CHARGING AT EM YEAHHHHHH
lmao so that was fun. and now we’re cutting to Wash!! omg. look at him
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he’s so dedicated. too bad you don’t have a car like Best Jeanist. probably takes a while when you’re just running everywhere
you see?? you were too slow!!
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NOOOO, GRANDPA. he defeated Pepsi Pete, but lost his life in the process. this is too tragic
anyway so the good news is that the cafe has been saved! but the bad news is, there really isn’t much of a cafe left. huh. I guess that’s one of the reasons why people are supposed to get a license to use their quirks like this
oh snap and now everyone is coming outside, and they’re none too happy to see poor old Wash over here
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seriously Wash, get a bicycle or something. also the way this guy is gesturing so dramatically with his hand in this sort of “YOU SEE!! YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!” manner is sending me
OH MY GOD
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HE SPEAKS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. IT MEANS JEANS PUNS ARE YESTERDAY’S NEWS, FOLKS!! MAKE WAY FOR THE LAUNDRY PUNS. CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH THIS ALL... UNFOLD
“the heroes had dwindled away” okay real talk you guys, it is literally only a matter of time before they press-gang the children into picking up their slack. I still don’t know how to feel about that, but it is happening one way or the other regardless. Child Soldiers 2 Electric Boogaloo. wonder if we’ll see a rise in vigilante action as well
OHO WHAT’S THIS? THIS IS A CHAPTER OF GRANDPAS HUH
-- no fucking way
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WOW. WOW. WOWWWWWW
wow. so he didn’t do a fucking thing while the rest of the top ten were being turned into red mist in the previous arc, and now that it’s all over and they need his help more than ever, he decides... THAT IT’S TIME TO RETIRE. holy shit. “fuck you” doesn’t even begin to cover it my guy. you stand there and soak up those boos you coward
ohhhhhhh shiiiiit you guys. oh shit
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the “I am not here” breaks my fucking heart for real though y’all. oh man. everything he worked for is gone just like that
(ETA: okay so a couple of the takes I’ve seen on this make it seem like All Might is somehow the bad guy here?? “this is what happens when society puts a bunch of glorified cops on a pedestal”, “finally the cracks in hero society are showing”, etc. etc. so, just a friendly reminder that this isn’t happening because of too much trust and a lack of critical thinking; this is happening because the villains killed all the heroes and broke a bunch of murderers out of jail. it’s happening because an organized league of terrorists succeeded in terrorizing, and so society is now understandably awash in fear and panic. like, it’s just wild to me that AFO is RIGHT FUCKING THERE, and yet week after week fandom still has their “IT’S ALL THE HEROES’ FAULT” signs still up on their lawns. BUT WHATEVER, MOVING ON.)
also though, so exactly how much time is passing here now? I wanted to go straight back to the hospital and see what happens with Deku and the Todorokis. please don’t tell me we’re jumping ahead sob. my aaaaangst
OH SHIT
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STAIN. LISTEN UP BUDDY. I KNOW WE’VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES, AND I STILL DESPISE YOU FOR CRIPPLING TENSEI AND TRYING TO KILL MY BEST BOY TENYA. BUT AS IT HAPPENS, THERE ARE ONE OR TWO OTHER HEROES OUT THERE NOW WHO I WOULDN’T MIND YOU PAYING A VISIT I’M JUST SAYING
LOL BUT IT ACTUALLY ISN’T THIS MAN, FFFFFF
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sob. yeah I was talking about Old Man Samurai actually but YEAH. HEY THERE ENJI
also is this entire hospital actually run by characters from Super Mario Bros though. first Yoshi and now this guy, come the fuck on that is not a coincidence
lmao they stuck him in another one of these cavernous creepy hospital rooms
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wtf is it with Horikoshi and these giant fucking rooms lately. Kacchan’s in chapter 298, then Tomie’s colossal house furnished with like one table and a TV, and now this. and the weirdest thing about it though is that “huge space with nothing to fill it up” is like the exact opposite of what you’ll usually find in Japanese homes lol
so now Enji is just sitting there thinking things like “my head is fuzzy” and “I’m alive” lmao okay. not quite all there yet, huh. I’ll give you a minute
I’m so fucking curious as to who his first visitor is going to be omg. either way it’s going to be interesting af, and either way fandom is probably going to feel some way about it but OH WELL
okay now his thoughts are getting more coherent! and he’s remembering Touya, and feeling regret for freezing up and forcing Shouto to deal with everything instead
!!! OH HERE GOES BRACE YOURSELVES Y’ALL IT’S ABOUT TO GET SPICY
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NO TOUYA PLEASE DON’T CRY HONEY NO PLEASE
ohhhhhhh man
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okay, I mean I didn’t expect you to, but so instead then you’re just going to do... what? lie there and wallow in regret and self-pity for the rest of your life? son you know that’s not how we deal with our problems here in Shounen
though also, I totally do get it though. honestly, thinking on it, I probably would have been disappointed with any other response. but so this is where the rest of his family (including his adopted son) come into play now though, because like it or not they’re all in this thing together. and so friends, I am once again asking you WHO IS GOING TO BE THE ONE TO VISIT ENJI FIRST
AHHHHHHH
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KRANCH!!!! OMG AND THE OTHERS ARE SO TINY NEXT TO HIM THAT I ALMOST DIDN’T SEE THEM AT FIRST. IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE TWENTY MILES AWAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS REGULATION HOCKEY RINK OF A ROOM
holy shit I’m so excited lkjlklhlglkasdsjldfk
SDKFJLSKHLKJL
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the way she has him by his collar lmaoooo. “lol nah you’re not going anywhere pal.” damn straight, siblings have to be ride or die in situations like this. banding together for survival. strength in numbers
OH MY STARS I’M JUST WARNING YOU NOW THAT I’M ABOUT TO DISSECT EVERY LAST REMAINING PANEL OF THIS CHAPTER PROBABLY YOU GUYS. WE COULD BE HERE A WHILE
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love how Fuyu has absolutely no idea how to segue into THE SINGLE MOST AWKWARD CONVERSATION SHE’S EVER HAD, so she just GOES FOR IT in pure small talk mode like they’re meeting up for brunch somewhere
I KNOW IT’S A SMALL THING, BUT I APPRECIATE THAT THE FIRST THING ENJI ASKS IS WHETHER THEY’RE OKAY
lastly while I can’t wait for more of this delicious Natsu angst, I also just have to say that Enji has as much reason to cry right now as anyone on the planet. you can’t deny that being confronted by your not-dead-but-you-thought-he-was-dead son who’s all “SURPRISE DAD I GREW UP TO BE A MASS MURDERER AND I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND NOW I’M GONNA MAIM YOUR OTHER KID” with a side order of “EVERYONE HATES YOU AND SOCIETY IS CRUMBLING AND NOTHING WILL EVER BE GOOD EVER AGAIN” is enough to bum pretty much anyone out. there’s a Pagliacci the Clown joke here somewhere. BUT DOCTOR, I AM THE NUMBER ONE HERO
oh man lol he is seriously falling apart
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damn. like you guys, I’m sorry, go ahead and cancel me, but I do feel compassion for the man. it’s therapeutic for me to see an abuser actually feel remorse and be truly sorry and want to change and want to make it up to his family. and it’s also compelling as fuck to read a narrative about a family that’s trying to grapple with that, because let me tell you straight up, as someone who’s done a version of that song and dance -- it is exhausting. it is a piping hot mess. it’s a gigantic mishmosh of extremely volatile emotions that all somehow all contradict one another. love, hurt, hope, anger, betrayal, resentment, attachment, longing. it’s something you can both be desperate for and also want nothing at all to do with. and attempting to portray all of that and write about it is a monumental task, and one which Horikoshi has done so, so delicately thus far, and damn but I appreciate it. anyway, so I’m here and I’m ready for my latest helping of Todoroki Fam Feels you guys
GASP
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oh man. OHMANOHMANOHMAN. CAN IT REALLY BE. IS THIS THE REDEMPTION ARC OF CHAPTERS 100 AND 200???
LMAO SHE’S ALL “WE ALL FEEL BAD YOU JACKASS STOP CRYING ABOUT IT”
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LAY INTO HIM REI!! SORRY ENJI YOUR PITY PARTY HAS BEEN CANCELLED IN FAVOR OF A “SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT” PARTY COURTESY OF QUEEN ELSA OVER HERE. THE PEOPLE TOOK A VOTE AND WE WANT LESS WHINING AND MORE ACTION
oh my god look at this lady folks
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NOTE THE HAIR BLOWING IN THE NONEXISTENT WIND. NOW WE KNOW WHERE SHOUTO GOT THIS POWER FROM
(ETA: btw guys, seeing Rei handle this crisis like an absolute champ despite everything she’s been through is everything, though. I’m reminded of Hawks’s line last week about people sometimes unexpectedly finding liberation when they’re backed into a corner. like things may be shit but goddammit her kiddos need her.)
THE CHAPTER IS ALREADY ENDING SOB, IT’S ONLY A 17-PAGER THIS WEEK, BUT GODDAMN WHAT A WAY TO CLOSE
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oh my god. oh my god oh my god. AND FUCK YOU HORIKOSHI FOR CUTTING IT OFF THERE sob. it’s like each week the wait for the next chapter becomes more painful. the Todofam is about to get real, and on top of that Hawks is gonna crash the party at some point down the line, and on top of that we’re still waiting for Kacchan to have his own heartfelt discussion about What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do Next with his best friend who’s currently in a coma. all I want to do with my life is read about these three things, and all I can do is simply wait as they are portioned out in agonizing, addicting little installments every week
anyway! tune in next time as we answer the question of whether or not fandom will finally run its train of logic all the way through to its natural conclusion and somehow manage to cancel Noted Abuse Apologist Todoroki Fucking Rei. don’t act like it can’t happen. you all know nothing is sacred lol. anyways but I’m ready for anything lol, bring it
341 notes · View notes
janiedean · 3 years
Note
Prompt. Book canon setting. Jaime can hear Brienne's thoughts.
*spins wheel* LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS WITH THIS ONE and sorry for the lateness anon!!
warnings: set during asos/the road trip so expect what canon offered including the attempted rape scene
--
buy me a coffee | commissions open
--
He doesn't hear her until -
Until sometime after they hack the hand off.
He doesn't know when he realizes for sure because he's too fucking out of it, but when Shagwell says that stupid fucking line about the two of them being lovers while they were chained to each other on the horse and wondering who out of the two of them is the knight and the maiden, he clearly hears her saying you wouldn't know a true knight if Arthur Dayne himself vouched for them and for a moment he wonders if she's gone mad, but -
But no one does or says anything about it.
Which - they hit them more than once if they tried to speak out of turn, or at least they hit her, he was entirely beyond it, so it's fucking weird, because that kind of thing shouldn't - it's too bloody forward, and then whatever I thought of him sure as the Seven Hells he's a better one than the whole bloody lot of them, and -
He wonders, deliriously, if she swears that much all the time, and then he realizes no one actually came up to them to do anything about it.
But he heard it.
Loud and clear.
Is he going mad?
He doesn't know.
He passes out a short while later, smelling the stench of his own rotting hand, and thanking his blessing that at least the wench is fucking warm, isn't she?
--
He had thought that was the worst he could smell in his entire life.
After vomiting the damned horse piss they gave him to drink, he decides that maybe he'll reconsider it, and - for a moment he can just taste the damned vomit on his tongue and he knows it's all over him and in between that and the remains of what he drank on his tongue he feels like retching all over again, and then he realizes in utter humiliation that it's not the only thing that smells foul on him as they laugh and laugh and laugh, and then someone tells the wench that they're not going farther if he smells like his own shit, too, and he's sure he hears her saying if only I could steal a sword, but - but he has to be making that up. She can't have said it. She can't have said it -
And they do nothing as she says she'll need her hands free and she comes close to him, and he can barely look at her but then she opens her mouth as she gently brings him close to the river and tells him to drink some water from her cupped hand before she starts cleaning the vomit off his beard, and he's halfway delirious with how much he wants to retch again -
No one deserves that, he hears the wench say, and he turns to her to ask her if she's gone mad -
No one deserves that and I can't even imagine how he's -, he hears, and she has her mouth closed.
He saw that. There is no way she actually spoke. And then she motions for him to lay down on the ground and oh fuck she has to change his smallclothes doesn't she and he just wants to fucking bury himself in the ground - he knows she's done that before, he sort of felt it even if he was passed-out half of the time, but now he's awake for it and he just wants to shrink away from her as she gently undoes his trousers and lowers him into the water -
I failed my vow, he hears, but if that's how I can keep what's left of it, fine. Fine.
She -
She thinks she did what?
And that's when it hits him.
If she's not speaking but he's hearing her and he hasn't gone mad -
Is he hearing her thoughts?
And -
And he was sure she loathed him. What is she even on about when it comes to failing her fucking vow?
He wishes he could figure that out.
It hurts too much, though, and he lets himself pass out, but the fact that she's holding him up as he does somehow -
Somehow makes it less worse than the other times.
--
No, no, stop, he hears when he tries to steal that sword and what a lot of good it did to him, and - is she talking to him or them, he doesn't know, but he can't waste time with it, not when he has to try and fight his way out - except that he doesn't, and then he trips over the damned rock while the others laugh, but Brienne doesn't, and Shagwell comes close and kisses him on the damned head and he wants to retch just at the feeling and -
Can't they leave him alone, just leave him alone, he doesn't deserve it, no one deserves it, he has more guts in him than you all and how dare you even do this Lady Catelyn trusted me with his safety and I can barely do anything what are they thinking what are they thinking he doesn't he doesn't oh but I'm watching them, let them think I'm harmless but the moment I can act I will I will I will I can't fail my vows like this not for the second time not now -
Rorge kicks the sword away from him.
He lets them throw him back on the horse.
There is no way he has hallucinated her thinking about fucking Catelyn Stark.
He closes his eyes and lets himself pass out - he can't deal with this.
He can't he can't he can't -
--
"Jaime."
He's halfway sure she did speak, now. Because she's not being loud and clear. She's whispering and he's looking up at the night sky wondering why would such pretty stars look down on such as him, and then -
"Jaime, what are you doing?"
Oh.
Yes.
She is talking to him. And - calling him by his damned name? What the -
Well, no point in lying now.
"Dying," he blurts, and then -
No no no he shouldn't not for this not because of them oh no no no I can't fail him like this I can't fail my lady like this I swore I'd bring him to King's Landing and it wouldn't - no no it's not fair it's not fair I can't I can't I can't -
She sounds pretty damn panicked, he thinks, and then -
“No,” Brienne on, “no, you must live.”
“Stop telling me what do, wench. I’ll die if it pleases me," he blurts, and -
No, no, that's not - he can't, he can't die like this, and no one - he might have slayed his king but not even he deserves this, that's beyond - I can't let him give up I just can't he shouldn't he shouldn't gods what will piss him off enough to do it what would -
What is she even -
"Are you so craven?" She blurts, and -
"What else can I do, but die?" He blurts back, and he's - he's not even - he would have been angered if he hadn't known but just the fact that she knew calling him a coward would have at least made him angry is making his head spin, and -
Oh yes yes good that's better -
"Live. Live, fight and take revenge," she says, and then Rorge hears them before he can answer -
“You will hold your bloody tongue if you want to keep it, bitch,” he shouts in her face, “or do you want it around your neck like his hand?”
He starts kicking her in the stomach and she moans in pain, but -
But -
I don't care I don't care I don't care I can take it I took worse I took a lot bloody worse than this as long as he lives I don't care and at least he's kicking me and not him I can take it I can I can I can -
He -
He swallows, closing his eyes while her pained moans fill his ears.
He doesn't go to sleep that night. Not really.
--
It's just -
He tries to think about it while she goddamned changes his soiled smallclothes so he doesn't have to look at her in shame and he can hear her thinking that it's the least she could do and she'll see him through it if it kills her.
She -
She was -
She loathed him. He knew she did. It was obvious. Maybe this is just... compassion or something like that, but - but she certainly isn't letting that stop her from making this entire fucking ordeal less bad than it could be, for what it's worth, and he can't help thinking, now for all she fancies herself a knight she's keeping her word isn't she, and he feels a lump in his throat as she ties back his breeches around his waist and helps him to the horse, again.
She's gentle, when she pulls him up on it.
Gentler than anyone else has been while handling him in - he doesn't know how long.
Please live until we reach safety, she thinks, and he almost falls off the horse at how sad she sounded. Please please please. I have to bring you to King's Landing. I swore I'd keep you safe. I can't do more than this. Please just live.
Fucking Seven Hells.
She meant it, when she swore her lady that dumb vows, didn't she.
Fuck.
Fuck, he is her damned vow, and -
His head spins just at the thought.
He's just - he's not going to go further down that road. He's not. But he can't lie to himself about how sincere she sounds, and anyway if he's hearing her thoughts because of some stupid weird strange magic then she couldn't be lying, could she?
Fuck.
Fuck, she really does believe in oaths, doesn't she?
--
He probably asked for it, ranting about Aerys the closer to Harrenhal they got.
He hears her wondering is there something he's not telling people, because this makes no sense, not with how he sounds, not with what everyone knows, why does he sound so sad, why oh I hope he's not going mad what if he does but could I blame him if he did, and then Rorge is back kicking him in the stump and making him scream and -
I want to kill him with my bare hands, she thinks, I want to kill him with my bare damned hands god stop it can't you see he's harmless and just because of you bastards stop stop stop this is just too cruel this is too cruel why why why -
Well, he thinks before he passes out again, the pain in his wrist too blinding, at least she didn't loathe him so much she'd be glad of this.
Oh, he knew, but -
But the idea that someone wants to kill this man just because he's hurting him just -
It doesn't -
People don't want to take revenge on anyone for him, he's the one who usually -
It just doesn't -
Everything goes black.
--
When he hears the whole lot of them talking about who's taking the front and the back, he knows what they're planning.
Thing is -
I knew it was going to happen. Very well then. They'll get a fight. I'm not letting them have me easily. Fuck all, maybe I should have just let that bastard Hyle Hunt have it when they did that bet, at least it wouldn't be with any of them -
He's -
He's not going to even think about what she meant with the bet, he's too out of it, but -
She wants to fight all of them? From what he's seen she would, but -
He thinks of Queen Rhaella screaming and screaming behind that door and he couldn't do anything and she didn't fight and survived enough to birth a daughter, but - but these pieces of shit will hack her into pieces if she does and for some reason he just can't -
Not when she cares enough to -
“Wench,” he tries, “Let them have their meat, and you go far away,” he keeps on. “It will be over quicker, and they’ll get less pleasure from it.”
What the hell is he up to? What does he even care? She shakes her head. Oh, fucking stubborn wench -
“They’ll get no pleasure from what I’ll give them,” she replies. If this is how I lose my maidenhead then I'm not just letting them take it. And what does he even mean? I can't go anywhere. Far away? What does he even mean?
Oh, damn it. She doesn't get it. She won't handle it. She might be good but it will break her and if she fights it it'll just break her more, he saw it happen, he fucking saw it happen, he can't let them do it again, he can't -
“Let them do it, and go away inside." What might convince her anyway? "Think of Renly, if you loved him. Think of Tarth, mountains and seas, pools, waterfalls, whatever you have on your Sapphire Isle, think…" He keeps on talking, but then she shakes her head again, and -
As if Renly ever wanted me like that. I know he didn't. And I don't know what does he care but I can't. I handled - I handled this all my fucking life, I'll live. I knew it could happen. I'll break a few noses before they even try.
He was about to press, but then Rorge shows up and tells her that she's the ugliest woman he's ever seen -
As if I haven't heard that all my life, she scoffs in her head, and Jaime's stomach is curling on itself and he realizes he's going to have to watch them do it -
“But don’t think I can’t make you uglier. You want a nose like mine? Fight me, and you’ll get one. And two eyes, that’s too many. One scream out o’ you, and I’ll pop one out and make you eat it, and then I’ll pull your fucking teeth out one by one.”
And then he hears the thought, so clear, so fucking loud that he almost screams at hearing it -
not my eyes, they’re the only part of me other people seem to not think ugly
- and then she shakes her head and glares back at him, and when Shagwell talks about fucking her up the arse she thinks well, at least I won't have to see him while he does, and -
Oh no no no no he can't watch it happen, he can't watch it happen by sitting here and do nothing not like this not when she sounded like she was about to cry thinking about losing those pretty eyes of hers -
Maybe -
Maybe he can -
“There’s a funny fool,” he says, his own voice sounding so calm it almost freaks him out. “I have a riddle for you, Shagwell. Why do you care if she screams? Oh, wait, I know.”
No, no, no, you are a fool, what are you doing, he’s going to kill you — he hears Brienne think, but he can't care less, not now -
“Sapphires," he shouts, and -
Well.
The pain in his wrist when Rorge kicks it is entirely worth knowing he won't have to watch her being raped in front of him without even a door in the middle.
--
She's quiet for the rest of the day, but not to him.
No one else ever did what he just has, she thinks.
No other man ever -
Those bastards at Renly's camp wanted to - and he was the one -
How could I have misjudged him so badly -
What is he even hiding it makes no sense he can't be as horrible as he likes everyone to presume -
He saved me he saved me he saved me -
How could - I was supposed to keep him safe and he saved me oh gods he did -
When she finally talks, and asks him in a thin voice, calling him by his name, why did he do it, he lies. Makes up something about wanting Vargo Hoat to say thappireth, about it being a repayment for her helping him escape Riverrun at the end of it, and he can only hear what she's not saying.
I could have handled it, I always have, he was a true knight oh gods he was one, and -
I have a debt to you, too, she thinks, and his stomach lurches, but not in the bad way.
Gods.
She really is... everything she looks like, isn't she?
--
He does try to goad her in the tub.
If only to not think about how she's thinking something about having completely failed all over while she scrubs herself, but it's so angry and garbled he can barely make sense of it, and then she shrinks back from him, and -
"Does the sight of my stump distress you so?" He asks, attempting to goad her more, and then she flinches and -
I can't look at it because it's - the proof I failed you, I said I'd bring you back whole from King's Landing and here's what happened and I could barely - I mean, I did what I could but I said I'd keep you safe I swore I did I swore Lady Catelyn I would and is he trying to make me feel bad about it, is it how he's taking revenge on me, not that I can blame him but I tried oh I tried please -
He was abut to tell her something about Renly to goad her further.
He -
He can't.
"I'm sorry," he says, and when she looks at him like she can't believe him, he shrugs again. “I’m a maimed man, and bitter. Forgive me, wench. You protected me as well as any man could have, and better than most.”
What is he apologizing now why would he it makes no sense gods I don't know what to make of him anyone else wouldn't be meaning this does he mean it I don't know I don't know -
"Do you mock me?" She replies, feebly, and -
He can't even be angry at her after that. She really.... is that guarded, is't she? And if - if people bet on her maidenhead, presumably, from what he gathered, can he even blame her?
"No," he says, "I want a truce. And I meant it."
"Truces are built on trust. Should I trust -"
"The kingslayer?" He finishes for her.
I meant different - she starts thinking, but then -
Then he can't shut his mouth and before he knows it he's told her everything when he never told anyone else and he can hear her thinking oh oh oh it makes sense oh it adds up oh but why hasn't he told why hasn't he said oh gods oh gods I knew he was hiding something, and -
And when he almost faints and she catches him, gently, gentler than Cersei ever was -
I couldn't on the road but there is no way I'm leaving him to suffer now, she thinks, and then no one will answer if I call for help, but if - I won't - I don't want to say it -
She asks help for the kingslayer.
But that's not his name, she thinks, and he thinks he's crying as he passes out.
--
He hadn't wanted to leave her behind.
The moment he did, he felt like - he should have been happy, he was going back to Cersei, why wouldn't he be, except that he thinks about how she said goodbye and told him that she hoped he'd keep their vow and he could hear I completely failed but if he's - if he's the way I think he can be maybe he will do it even if I couldn't and just - he thought Arthur Dayne was the best knight he ever knew but the wench fucking buys it, believes it deep down, she fucking means it and everyone else - everyone else was more of a hoax than he has been, he knows, he has seen it, but her -
He doesn't think he's ever met anyone who was - who wanted it quite as much, not even himself, and her thoughts were what they were but they made him feel - less alone somehow and now he's surrounded by Bolton men and that fucking Qyburn and he can't hear them but from the way they look at him he can guess what they think, and then -
Then he dreams of her putting herself in between him and his older Kingsguard and looking almost beautiful and all knightly as she held that flaming sword and was as naked as she was in the baths and -
He can't.
He just fucking can't.
He goes back to Harrenhal.
--
He doesn't hear her thoughts until he jumps into the bear pit.
What is he doing here she thinks and oh he had missed her voice in his head fuck didn't he, and he smiles as she calls him Kingslayer but not meaning it at all, he knows she doesn't -
He tells her to get behind him and she protests that he's unarmed, of course she would but then -
why would he come back why why why he was going back to his sister wasn't he he was he said he was he loves her doesn't he he said so why is he here did he come back for me because he thought I was in danger oh god he did it's the second time he does it no one else has ever no one else has ever I always had to do it on my own how how how he is here
He swallows and hopes like mad that Steelshanks does what he's supposed to.
He does.
By the time they're out of the damned pit and Vargo Hoat is seething and she replies with a faint whisper that she's still a maiden when he asks he's ready to just - brush it off, why wouldn't he -
why why why why oh he looks so handsome like this he's everything I thought true knights would be once
Jaime is about to trip on his damned feet, and then -
"Ser Jaime?" She asks, thinly. "I am grateful, but you were well-away. Why come back?"
He could have just - brushed her off. Told a quip. Joked about it as he usually does. Something cruel, so she'd go back to thinking horribly of him, but she's staring at him with those pretty, wide blue eyes as she can't believe he's there and he did come back, and -
maybe he thought it was the honorable thing and oh he does have honor I see it now, but why for me, why for me, who else ever has, I never was that kind of girl, I can't believe he did that for me
Fucking hells. How old is she anyway? Eight and ten? He remembers being almost her age and - having lost all of that goodness she has, all that self-righteousness that everyone needs should they be knights, and she's looking at him like he just walked out of a song -
"I dreamed of you," he says instead, and it's the truth, isn't it -
Oh, she says, men don't dream of me, do they, and -
Fuck.
Fuck.
--
He should avoid her.
He should, because if - if she's falling in love with him and it all points to that then - then it wouldn't - it can't - Cersei would - he can't even begin to quantify it -
But then the Red Wedding happens and he hears her weeping in her tent on the way to King's Landing and he hears it, he hears it -
would ser jaime let me weep on his shoulder or would he think it beneath a true knight now
He's -
He's in her tent before he can think about it and he lets her and she grasps at his shoulders like she can't believe he's real, and then she thanks him in a thin voice and he could leave it at that but then he hears it, he hears it -
I've never known a better man
So loud and clear it's deafening, and he can't even lie to himself anymore, he can't -
He doesn't know who moves first.
What he knows is that they're kissing after a moment of staring at each other and she's whimpering into his mouth while her hands touch his face and the back of his head so gently he wants to weep at it, and is he kissing me is he kissing me oh gods I'm dreaming am I she's thinking and -
He shakes his head and brings his left hand to her cheek, fingers shaking, and he can't - he can't put up the front anymore.
"It's real," he says, and her eyes widen. "Don't worry, wench, you're easy to read. But it's - it's a good thing, I think."
"I - I didn't - I've wanted it since the bath, I think," she admits, and he could have said, I could have known or I suspected or I knew you had wanted it at the bear pit, at least.
"I kissed you first, didn't I?" He replies, and - "And for what it's worth, I want to keep that vow to fucking Catelyn Stark. And you didn't fail your side of it. I mean, I'm alive, am I not?"
"How did you know that - I thought I had?"
"You talk in your sleep," he lies, because he can't tell her that he can still hear her damned thoughts though he might have to later, but -
She tells him that she knows she doesn't expect him to keep on doing this when they reach King's Landing, and kisses him again.
He doesn't stop her.
--
When she walks into his room dressed in blue, the thought hits him so hard he almost staggers.
he looks so handsome like this, oh, I don't know how long it has been but he - he looks like a god, doesn't he, but - he can't want it again, can he -
He tells her to close the door and come closer. He - he didn't think he'd ever do what he's about to, but after the conversation he just had with Cersei -
He didn't need to read her mind to realize a few things he should have realized a long time ago, he thinks.
And then Brienne tells him that white becomes him, and -
It suits him, he looks like he was born for it and honestly he was, maybe now he can -
"I have a proposition for you," he says, and puts the Valyrian sword on the table in between the two of them.
He tells her where that sword comes from. He tells her he wants her to have it so she can look for Sansa Stark because she's his last chance at honor, but then -
"And if you wait for tomorrow to leave, until I free my brother before Cersei has him killed for a crime he didn't commit, I would come with you."
She almost drops the sword.
"You - come with me? But - you're -"
"The new Lord Commander? I am," he says, "but - I think - I thought about a few things. I - I think I'd rather be out there with you and my sister - she's not - she's not the person I remembered." Understatement. "I'll need to make sure a few things are under control here, and I have to make sure Tyrion does his escape, and - a few other matters. But - I'll send Varys to you with the name of one specific inn. Wait for me there. Three days at most and I'll join you. Will you?"
of course I would of course I will oh gods he gave me a valyrian sword he thinks I'm - he thinks I can - he'd come with me - oh gods yes yes yes
"Ser," she bows, "I would. I will wait for your missive."
Then she bows and leaves.
Well then.
Well then.
--
Three days later, he knocks on her door feeling drained inside - that conversation with Tyrion was not... what he had thought it would be and he hopes he has it in himself to forgive him with time, and his uncle hasn't quite realized what he meant to do, but - he made him understand that he should take very good care of the king and to make sure Cersei doesn't become regent, because she - she just isn't a good choice, he can see it now, and now he's tired and -
he came back, Brienne thinks in delight as he opens the door.
Fuck it all.
He kicks it closed and kisses her again, and as she moans into his mouth anew, he decides that he doesn't care what happens from now on.
He always wanted to be Arthur Dayne.
Maybe with her he can be.
End.
78 notes · View notes
invalid-prongs · 3 years
Text
This is from a fic I won’t write. I just wanted to share it. I might write another chapter if this goes down well... I don’t know.
He isn’t going to get away with this.
Regulus storms through the streets, letting the rain run through his hair and down his clothes. His feet kick at the puddles, whirling up a storm, and his hands flick, hit, and punch everything they can touch.
He grazes a nettle plant and grasps it tight in his palm. Before making any regrets, he pulls the plant from his root and tosses it out into the road, screaming as he does so.
It feels good to scream, to yell, to get it all out of his system. He does it again, louder this time, filling it with all of his rage and resentment. It echoes through the streets and he crouches into the rain-soaked cement pavements to slam his fists onto the ground.
And it feels right.
He keeps doing it, and with every hit, every cry, the anger slowly removes itself from his body. And then eventually he’s left lying in the puddles, sobbing endlessly, because fuck his brother, and fuck his family, and most of all, fuck himself.
He’s such a coward. He’s such an evil, disgusting, horrifying coward. He won’t fight for himself, won’t stand up for himself. He won’t do anything except hide behind corners and slip through the shadows.
He’s such a fucking Slytherin.
Regulus slowly peels himself from the ground, standing on his feet and sighing heavily. He brings a hand to his hair, tugging it sharply through his locks as laughter echoes where his yelling once filled.
“Again, again!” the voice squeals, followed by a set of loud, roaring laughter.
Regulus knows that laugh. He would know it anywhere, and it didn’t belong in these streets. It left, years ago, they both did. They freed themselves of the lonely isolation, liberated their souls.
But Regulus Black doesn't make mistakes.
And so he turns on his heels and sprints down the street, his bare feet slamming against the freezing walkway, and then, he stops. He was right. He can barely see the two faces under the dim lights, but the posture, the sounds—he knows, in his heart, it’s them.
“Sirius!” he calls out, despite them only being the other side of the street. “Andromeda!”
The two figures turn and blink before laughing again and running away. Regulus stands in disbelief for a moment before racing after them, pulsing through the streets, trying to catch up.
“Sirius! Andromeda! Wait for me!”
They’re always three steps ahead, quite literally, and if Regulus reaches out his hand—
His fingertips graze the back of his brother’s shirt, and the figures fade into the darkness. They swirl away, leaving in their trail a mix of ash and smoke. Small sparks scatter the ground, washed away by the pounding rain. Regulus gasps softly and falters in his steps.
They aren’t real.
He shakes his head and screws his eyes shut. That’s not possible. They have to be there.
He can still hear the echoing laughter, can still see their shining faces. They're’ leaning against each other as if they’re drunk, wandering down the street. Every few seconds, they turn and seem to beckon Regulus with their hands.
“Follow us!” they laugh, silver eyes alive with love. “Come, Regulus, follow us!”
And he does.
He stumbles after them blindly, eyes still shut. Like this, they don’t disappear until he’s walked what feels like miles. And then it happens.
Sirius extends his hand, Andy extends hers. Regulus reaches forward, half expecting them to melt into clouds again, but then smooth skin slips against his own, and a smile ghosts his face. They’re pale and ice cold but they’re there.
“You’re real,” he whispers. “I can’t believe you’re real. I thought I made you up.”
Sirius shakes his head lowly. “You need to let us go, Regulus. How can we be happy when you’re holding us back?”
He gasps softly. He tries to ask, holding you back from what? but he can’t find his voice. Andromeda, however, frowns, as if she knows.
“From moving forward. From having our own lives. We’re coming back for you, Regulus, and it’s killing us. Let us go.”
He looks down at their joined hands. He falters. “I can’t.”
“You can. You have to. Or we’ll die fighting for you.”
Regulus gulps. But I need you guys to save me.
“Save yourself,” Sirius’s tone is sharp and tense. “We did it, and you can too, if you really want to. You just have to find a way.”
Mother said there’s no getting out until I die.
“Well then,” a voice speaks, but it sounds nothing like his cousin or brother. It sounds... oddly like himself. “Well then.” it repeats.
Well then what?
“Well then, you know what you have to do.”
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runephoenix6769 · 3 years
Text
Think what CRWBY did this season was ballsy. 
I think a lot of what they've done over the years is ballsy. Like, there's this thing the writers seem to do which is present us with unreliable narrators, for want of a better word, and never quite do what we expect with visual story telling - bare with me on this.
TL:DR.
(It’s something I have been thinking about for a while but wanted to see if it came up again as the narrative progressed as a sort of confirmation.)
Are we possibly seeing the various antagonists through the lens of the people they pertain to most? (If we are, it would explain some of the choices made by CRWBY over the years,)
Examples:
 I'll give a few.
If we take Blake and Adam for instance. 
During v1&2 we are presented Adam through her lens, She is the one to give us our information save for a few lines Adam delivers to Cinder. (we are then left to fill in the gaps ourselves with headcanon etc) 
BUT we are seeing him how a young woman breaking away from terrorist indoctrination sees him, from a young woman who is working through a break up, a young woman who has been groomed into a way of thinking. 
She is deprogramming in a way. 
As Blake's view of herself changes and as she begins to change with the help of loving caring friendships and healthy relationships, her view of him (her lens ) begins to change. 
He chops Yang's arm off and as she sees the true horror of what lies beneath the mask, so do we. He, at this moment, is Blake's biggest/worst nightmare coming home to roost. He looms and haunts her. Then this quite literally happens in v4/v5. She faces him, breaks away from him, steps out from under his manipulations, calls him out on his behaviors. She's no longer an easily manipulated little girl anymore and she can now see clearly who and what he truly is. 
Her lens has shifted and therefore his presentation to us shifts. 
We get to go on this journey with her.
Then there is Weiss. 
In v1/3 Jacques Schnee is Weiss's antagonist but he lingers on the periphery like a shadow, and we are made aware/shown that the Schnee home is maybe not all its cracked up to be. 
In v4 Jacques looms as a large villain for her because that’s exactly how any abused child sees an abusive parent. Large, looming, etc, 
We are actively made hate him via what we are shown. 
He is to Weiss the biggest evil atm. He fills the role of her immediate priority to break away from.
 When she escapes, joins the others, is made aware of what's actually at stake, the bigger picture and the BBE, her father's brand of villainy fades to the back ground as her priorities change. He is in no way forgotten but rather put on the back burner a little while. 
Weiss grows up, over comes his control, gains her agency, stands up to him, arrests him and locks him up to face justice. 
It’s exactly what we've always wanted for Weiss. 
We are shown this, of how Weiss's view of her father changes. (how her lens shifts and we get to go on this journey.) We see him for what he truly is.
He Is nothing in the grand scheme of things, he is a sniveling coward, he is a blip with no real power. 
He dies with no huge fanfare, obliterated as if he never existed, (just like the floating kingdom of ATLAntiS.) He is not so important in the grand scheme of the world facing potential annihilation. An after thought. 
Winter telling us that Weiss is the one choosing to not leave him to perish, whilst she couldn’t care less points to the complexity of how abused children see their parents, and also how Weiss wishes to do the right thing.
What about Cinder and Salem? 
In the earlier volumes Cinder wasn’’t even on the radar of our protagonist’s until the v3 reveal. Afterwards, she was always taken seriously as a threat. As for Salem. again, our main protagonists had no context for her really until v5 with Emerald’s reveal. And that reveal in of itself is telling. We and the protagonists are presented with Salem the way that Emerald personally perceives her.  
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She is absolutely terrifying. 
And then we have Penny.
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I know a lot of folks are upset over Penny's arc these last two seasons. But maybe after you've had sometime to grieve you can come back and look at it with different eyes.
We know CRWBY like to set out to deliberately make us feel stuff towards a character. Look at Pyrrha, they knew all along what they were gonna do to Pyrrha and they made us love her knowing the impact it would have. They wanted a desired effect and they got it.
They did it again with Penny this season. They craftily lulled us into a false sense of security. 
“Oh Penny can't die, she just got made into a real girl, plot armor will protect her.... Winter in the other hand, oh she gonna die!"
But it was a complete bait and switch!
They used Penny the same way they used Pyrrha, to elicit a desired response.  
This means that we can't wholly rely on the information we get shown half the time or rest on our laurels when it comes to the status of a character’s survival. Just like our protagonist can’t either. 
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RWBY thrives on breaking the rules.
Veering off to have a alternate dimension arc at a really pivotal moment? Seems weird, but it's also kinda clever.
It gives time for other chess pieces to get into place, i.e. traveling the world. It gives space for certain characters to explore any feelings or miss givings they might have, with out the pressure of the rest of the cast waiting in the wings twiddling their thumbs. 
Its a good device to change the pace and take a breather. 
And the aftermath...the possibilities are endless.
For all we know, RWBY might come out of that void to find Salem succeeded, or the world has moved on a number of years, or even a waste land n its mad max fury road or maybe its the same sandstorm the refugees are in and time outside the void didn't budge a second and RWBY come out like this.
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(I jest!)
Remember CRWBY has always subverted tropes and bounced the narrative off mirrors.
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stressedoutcanary · 3 years
Text
Hold On - Jason Todd x Batgirl!Reader [PART 3]
What this includes: Violence, a combo of angst and fluff, and just to be on the safe side I’d say language.
Word count: 3.1k
A/N😋: I am so glad it’s finally finished, now it won’t be sitting in my drafts staring at me all day. Also forgive me for any mistakes, half of it is written at 3 AM
Part 1 , Part 2
•°•°•°•°
“This is it”, you breathed out, stopping your bike near a bush making sure that place was obscure enough. You placed the helmet on the handle and hopped off the bike. After taking a few steps forward and scouting the area, you clicked your comms back on.
“O care to give me the layout of what I am getting myself into, ‘cause we all know the last time didn’t go so well”
“Nightwing said you might call me for backup and now I owe him 20 uggh! Anyways onto the problem at hand, I’m picking up a few heat signatures from the basement area and the schematics of the building indicate a vent on the other side which might help you get in.”
“Is there anything else I should know?”
There was no reply on the other end and you assumed she was looking into it. To your bad luck, it was far from it. You heard an all too familiar grunt and mentally cursed yourself for forgetting that it was an open line.
“(Y/N), I thought I made myself clear”, Bruce’s modulated voice came through which low-key made you want to strangle him with your bare hands.
“Oh come on B! Didn’t Alfred teach you that listening in on other people’s conversations is bad manners”
“We are 10 minutes out you will not be going in till we get there”
‘Like Hell I won’t’
“Hello? B? Your voice is breaking up. I can’t hear you! there is some interference in the signal. Batman?”
“Don’t- ” you clicked the comms off before he could finish his sentence and breathed a sigh of relief. ”Note to self after what you just did, avoid showing your face to anyone in the fam for at least a week.”
Snooping around, you came across the vent Babs told you about and you smirked to yourself, “Bless those idiots who decided to make an excess amount of vents throughout Gotham, plus no dumbass to shoot open the lock on any door, huh I’d say it’s going pretty good for me.”
After going through a very, very dusty vent, you silently dropped down to floor behind a goon and cleared your throat to draw his attention. As soon as he turned around, his jaw was met with your right hook, making him plummet to the ground. Grabbing him by the collar you inched closer to his face, which was yet again fully covered by a white mask.
“Alright no-face, tell me where Pyg is right now”, you made use of your deep modulated voice, making the man dart his eyes towards the far right corner of the room. You knew what that meant and without wasting any more time, you knocked him out and scurried over, finding a heavy door at the end. Somehow managing to push open the door, you were faced with a circular stairwell leading down.
“Well Oracle did say she got heat signatures down in the basement.”, you sighed and started taking calculated steps, making sure to check for any traps. ‘Why keep only one person to guard your supersecret creep-house? Either Lazlo is way too overconfident or way too crazy... Probably both.’, you thought, wheels turning in your head, hoping to make sense of the situation. As you went down, you could catch a faint sound of music. ‘Is that Opera?! Well at least it fits his M.O.’
The end of the stairwell opened into a large room. You hid behind one of wooden crates as your mind swiftly accessed the grim ambience; Pyg was sharpening his knife swaying along with opera music playing in the background but Jason was nowhere to be found. Your breath hitched and your blood ran cold, it felt as if the world around you was spinning.
‘What if... what if it’s too late’  Crouching down on the ground with your back to the crate your took in several deep breaths to calm your racing heart. You couldn’t think like that, not when you’re so close. You wiped the stray tear which escaped the tightness of your cowl and had trailed down your cheek. You tried to focus instead of jumping to conclusions.
You frowned upon noticing something odd on the wall in front of you, placing your palms on it, you gave it a slight push. To your surprise it paved way for an attached corridor which clearly didn’t come up in the schematics Oracle told you about. You slipped into the corridor, making sure that nobody saw you. Your feet froze for a slight second on the sight you were met with; cages like prison cells lined up in a row with people inside of them.
“The people who went missing”, you whispered to yourself, still reeling in the shock of it all. Upon hearing a familiar groan you sprinted across the pathway to the source, eyes scanning every inch of the person you found, the person you were here to rescue. You fumbled with the lock for a while, muttering curses under your breath until it clicked open. You dashed to his side and took a batarang out to cut the binds he was in.
“Jay if you die on me again, I swear I will kill you.”
“Been there, done that princess and honestly not a fan of it”, Jason croaked out, his reply came out weaker and voice barely above a whisper. It made your heart clench in a way it hasn’t in a long, long time. You lifted your head up, you gave him a soft smile, gently brushing off the matted hair on his forehead, 
“Jason I..”
‘Just tell him you love him you coward, It’s really not that hard’
“Jason I’m glad you’re okay”, you blurted out in way which was far from normal but he seemed way too tired to noticed. 
‘COWARD’
“How did you get free?”, he inquired, thankfully interrupting your internal yelling.
“I didn’t? I literally just walked in here to get you out.”
“But I thought-”, Jason looked utterly confused as he rubbed his wrists to ease the pain caused by the rope.
“Well long story short. You got captured. I was saved by Harley and Ivy, had a nice chat with them, and then I might have been responsible for Batman’s high blood pressure, and then I emotionally blackmailed Nightwing into giving me your location and then here I am”
“Wha...Yeah I will just pretend I totally understand whatever the hell you just said.”, Jason sighed, he tried to stand up but his feet wobbled and if it wasn’t for you catching him on time h would’ve staggered to the ground.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Mmhmm”, he hummed lightly leaning his weight on you. “Just a little dizzy, probably from the dehydration, It could also be because of the blood loss from the stab wound I got”
“The WHAT?!”, you looked at him like he was crazy.  
“Oh yeah I think I kinda forgot to tell you that the creepy dude tried to cut me open but my armor got in the way so he stabbed me instead and went away saying he had to sharpen his knife or something like that”, he started to slur and you knew you had to get him back to the cave as quickly as possible. You helped him get up on his feet, slinging one of his arms over your shoulders and wrapping one of your arms around his waist.
“Oh my God! Jay, you don’t just bring this sort of thing up in casual conversation!”, you shook your head and started taking small steps with him towards the way you came from. Suddenly a loud crash was heard followed by a couple of screams making the both of you share a nervous glance.
“What was that?”
“Only one way to find out”, you said as you walked through the door back into the large room. 
It was pure chaos, more like a free-for-all. Nightwing jogged up to you. 
“We did say we were 10 minutes out didn’t we?”, he gave you a bright smile and swung Jason’s free arm over his shoulder to help you support him better.
“Good, now since you are here, hold him”, you shifted Jason’s weight towards Dick.
“Hey-”
“Don’t even”, he glared daggers at his elder brother, “What are you even doing? I feel like a baby being passed around”
You ignored Jason’s whining in the background and fixed your gaze on the one person in the room who would soon face your wrath. The rest had already cleared up the goons and Pyg was the only one left. You narrowed your eyes and cracked your knuckles, making your way over to him.
By the time you reached Pyg he was already backing away from Batman and one murderous looking Robin, turning around he tried to make a run for it but was ultimately met with your fist, a sickening crack was heard and no one was quite sure whether it was from his mask, his jaw or both. Pyg was out cold and you shrugged at the duo in front of you while Dick and Jason made their way over.
“Remind me never to get on her bad side ever again.”, Jason whispered as both the boys looked completely terrified of you. You walked over to Bruce and held out your hand. He didn’t seem to catch the drift, for being the world’s greatest detective, he was quite dumb sometimes.
“The keys to the batmobile, unless you want Mr. surprise-I-got-stabbed over here to bleed out.”
After placing Jason into the passenger seat you hopped into the driving one. 
“Also there are people in the back, you know, the missing ones, so good luck with the clean up I guess.”, you called out before before closing the hood of the batmobile. 
You were on the road heading straight for the cave when you realized Jason wasn’t answering your questions anymore.
“Jason?”, you stole a glance at him and he was as pale as a ghost, “Shit!”, you yelled as you jammed your foot on the accelerator. 
•°•°
Jason woke up to the dull beeping of multiple monitors and by the looks of the place, he concluded he was in fact in the batcave. As he regained some control over his senses, he saw you sitting on a chair beside his bed. You were sound asleep but he could see worry etched on your face even in your slumber. Looking at you, Jason wished he had the courage to say what his heart felt instead he just went ahead taking your hand in his, giving it a little squeeze. You stirred awake at that.
“Hey! You’re up!”, you stood up abruptly and hugged him tightly. To him it felt as if you were actually afraid of what might happen if you let go of him.
“I told you I don’t do dying anymore. It sucks.”
You finally pulled away from him, a smile tugging at your lips. Jason glanced at your hand, taking it in his once again, he ran his thumb over your bruised knuckles.
“I knew you had a mean right hook, guess I just forgot how mean”, Jason said smirking at you. You didn’t pull away from him as he had expected in his head instead you just scoffed at the statement. 
“The next time you forget that, allow me to give you a reminder by demonstration Bird-Brain”, you called him by the name you often used back then. At first it was to annoy your very annoying best friend but then it stuck around but hadn’t used that nickname ever since he came back. You both realized that. A silence fell over the once playful conversation, his eyes found the celling and yours found your lap. After a while you cleared you throat to get his attention and he looked at you, his expressions were borderline unreadable.
“Jason I-I should go now, but don't worry I’ll get Alfred back here”, You got up and moved towards the door of the med-bay, scrunching your eyes shut you released a shaky breath.
‘It’s now or never (Y/N)’ 
“Jason when you get better, there is this place I have been meaning to take you to, with me of course.”
“Sure I’ll go”
“So tomorrow sounds good?”
“Tomorrow sounds good”, he repeated after you breaking into a grin. Your cheeks flushed and you had to take a sharp turn to hide the blush on your face. You mentally smacked yourself for behaving like a teen asking her crush out on a date for the first time. 
•°•°
The next night Jason met you on the roof of the Wayne tower.
“Please tell me this isn’t the place you wanted to see with me”, he chuckled behind you and you turned around to give him a quick hug.
“It’s not that bad of a place, plus I can throw you off here too if you get on my nerves”, you laughed at his faux scandalised face.
“You wound me”
“In case you forgot you are already wounded, drama queen, plus its your lucky day, this is not where we will be spending our evening. Just follow me and don’t get lost on the way”, you winked and jumped off the edge, him following the suit.
When you both reached the place you had in mind, the place Jason cherished when he was Robin, the expression on his face was priceless. It was like a mixture of awe and surprise with a hint of sadness.
“How did you find out about this?”, Jason inquired after a while of reminiscing. 
“Gee how indeed, ‘cause it cannot be the fact that I am detective who’s life is influenced by at least a dozen detectives and it’s most definitely not the fact that for me, you aren’t that difficult to figure out”
“Touché”
Jason chuckled at your usual playful sarcasm, his eyes were twinkling with something which felt more than just momental adoration and you couldn’t help but crack a small smile of your own. You made your way over to him, looking at the visible skyline for a brief moment, Jason watched as you sat down on the ledge with your legs dangling off, patting the space beside you gestured him to join you. 
“I have a feeling we’re gonna be here for a while, so might as well sit down and get comfortable”, you shrugged as he nodded and sat down beside you, placing his elbow on his bent knee. You both enjoyed the few minutes of comfortable silence, watching cars pass by below and the moon lit starry sky above.
“I am starting to see why you liked it here”
“Yeah...”
“Alfred told me”
“Huh?”, Jason looked at you dumbfounded, trying to process your words.
“After you...were gone, Alfred told me, he told me that this was your happy place, though I still can’t believe you had a favorite gargoyle”, stifling a laugh you somehow managed to continue, “Anyway so as I saying, ever since I found out about it, I used to come here every night when I got free from patrol, come to think of it I still do, sometimes”
You could feel his heavy gaze boring into you making you immediately regret bringing up this conversation. 
“Why?”, he finally inquired. You didn’t know whether to feel relived or be tense, but it was now or never, releasing a shallow breath you glanced at him, words flowing out on their own accord. 
“Even back then I knew everyone dies at some point and all we can do is try and find some meaning in it, in the memories they leave behind and I guess me wanting to be here, it was a part of me trying to do that and it made me feel somewhat connected to you so I kept doing it; Coming here, spending any time I could spare and leaving before the crack of dawn and before I knew it, it had become a habit.”
“So you did miss me”, he gave you a sad smile and wrapped his hand around your shoulder, giving you a light squeeze. 
“Of course I did you dumbass, I was best friend.”, you gave him a nudge and leaned your cheek on his chest, sighing deeply.
“The reason I avoided you after you came back was because I was scared”, you whispered, hoping it would sound less real that way. Jason pulled back a bit to take in your features and you could hear the strain in his voice, a hint of sadness in it.
“Scared of me?”
“Jason I wasn’t scared of you, I can never be, I was scared for you. I was afraid of losing you again. Every time you come back I lose you all over again and I am honestly tired of it and I thought that maybe if I kept my distance I--”
“Won’t get hurt again?”
“Yeah, something like that”
A moment passed where no one spoke anything, both of you running the scenarios of what might happen next in your brains. An idea clicked in your head and you abruptly got to your feet startling Jason in the process. Offering him your hand and a sheepish smile, you got him to his feet.
“I am tired of being scared Jason. I want this. I want us and for that I am willing to take a chance, are you?”, he stepped closer to you, his scent invading your senses.  
“For you (Y/N), anything. You should know that by now, plus I feel the same way, I have for a while now”, Jason breathed out as he pulled you in for a deep kiss leaving you dizzy for a while after you pulled away for air. Placing your foreheads together, you found yourselves grinning like idiots yet again in the two successive nights. Jason’s stomach growled, sending you into a fit of laughter.
“Hungry?”
“You really gotta ask?”, raising an eyebrow, he tried to look offended but ultimately melted against you as you pressed your lips on his for a brief moment.
“I know a place”, you murmured, lips brushing against his and before he could register what was happening you already had a grapnel gun in your hands, smirking as you jumped off the ledge.
“Last one there is a rotten egg hoodie!!”
“Hey! But I don’t even know where it is!”
“Not my fault Bird-Brain!”
Jason jumped on after you, smiling to himself. Both of you were thinking the same thing ‘maybe this was finally the start of a new chapter; something new, something scary and something beautiful altogether’
°•°•°•°•
Tags: @ladyperceval
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winterscaptain · 4 years
Text
absence.
Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader a joyful future fic
a/n: the next installment is here! this is the second-to-last piece in the berry hill section of a joyful future. as it has been lately, this one requires little ajf context, but i would recommend reading berry hill and waldosia, if you haven’t already. (thanks to aimz @ssaic-jareau, kira @good-heavens-chris-evans, and sabina @writefasttalkevenfaster) edit: this has been heavily revised as of april 29th, 2021. the changes and additions address continuity errors and ongoing subplots. 
words: 7k (prev. 3.8k) warnings: language, vomit mention, really accurate satellite phone protocol (eat your heart out, cm writers), beard!hotch, jack hotchner content, one last slow burn
summary: “absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great” - roger de bussy-rabutin. au!march-september 2011
masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | taglist | what do you want to see next? updated: april 29th, 2021
There’s a moment where he stops at your desk on the way out of the bullpen, but you just stare at him. He opens his mouth as if to speak, then closes it. After a moment, he finally says, “Jack is with Jessica tonight.” 
You have no idea what your face looks like, but it’s enough to drop his shoulders and send him on his way, defeated.
+++
You let yourself into his apartment, slamming the door behind you. He’s been waiting for you, leaning against the windowsill across from the door. 
“How dare you.”
He sighs and presses a hand to his forehead. “You have to understand that I -”
“Bullshit, Aaron. I don’t have to understand a goddamn thing. What are you thinking? We need you.” 
His head tips up, and he looks through you. The haunted look in his eyes almost makes you falter - it so acutely reminds you of the days following Haley’s death - but you keep your resolve. He doesn’t say anything, just lets you yell at him until it's out of your system. You could never actually hate him and he knows that, which makes some of it easier, but not all of it. 
The tears start and pick up speed as you continue, nearly at a shout. “You've known for seven months that you were going to leave for Pakistan. I read the brief. Seven. Fucking. Months, Aaron. Since September, you’ve known and you didn’t tell us about the task force assignment in fucking Pakistan!” 
You pause, but the final nail in his proverbial coffin leaves your mouth without permission. “Emily died, and you’re still leaving?” He flinches. “You’re leaving me and Jack. You’re leaving our team. I never thought you could do something like that to us. Maybe them, but not me. Never to me. I mean, after everything we’ve -” You cut yourself off and raise the back of your hand to your mouth, unable to finish the unbearably painful thought.
He’s not sure which part is the most painful - the fact that you list yourself with Jack instead of with the BAU, the fact that you say ‘our team,’ or the tone that drips with hurt. The sob that rips through your chest breaks his heart. He leans heavily against the arm of his couch, knocked down by the weight of your tears. 
No. The hardest part is knowing he deserves it, that you aren’t saying anything that isn't unfair or untrue. 
“I can’t even look at you right now.” 
He can only watch you as you walk back out, leaving the door open behind you. 
About twenty minutes later, he receives a text.
9:34pm I’ll be there tomorrow at 12:30 to take you to base. Be ready when I get there. 
He crawls into bed about half an hour later, and receives another text.
10:05pm Goodnight. 
Fuck. 
+++
The ride to base ride is mostly silent, and you know something’s wrong. It’s nothing you can articulate or even really put your finger on, but it’s something bigger than just his imminent absence.
He’s boarding a C-130 supply transport with a few Marines and various agency task force members to an outpost in Pakistan. It will no doubt be a long and deeply uncomfortable flight. His go bag, packed with desert fatigues and a couple of creature comforts, looks smaller than usual at his feet. 
“How long?”
He sighs and shakes his head. “Task force operations are need-to-know.” There’s so much he can’t tell you, and it eats at him. Because it’s you, and he’s been an ass, he concedes a little. “Probably a couple of months.”
“We’ll be okay, Aaron.” 
A little laugh leaves him, and it pulls a smile from you. 
“What?”
“Remember when you chased me down last night to tell me the team couldn’t do this without me?” 
You roll your eyes. “It’s still true, but we’ll manage. We always do.” There’s a moment of silence, and you continue. “And you’re going where you’re needed. That helps.” 
It’s true. Your anger had cooled (just a little) overnight, and you decided you didn’t want to be upset with him when he leaves. 
You already miss him. 
“Don’t think I’m not still mad at you.”
He looks out the window, and you can hear the wheels turning in his head. Jack is on his mind, and so are you. There’s nothing more nauseating than the thought of leaving you while you’re still hurting from Emily’s loss. “I know.” 
Why are you going through with this, Hotchner?
Oh, right. You’re a coward. 
“I just don’t want our last conversation before you leave to be a fight.” You sniff, but don’t look at him as you continue driving down the highway. 
I am perhaps the most undeserving man on the planet. 
He says, “Thank you. I don’t want that either,” but he hopes you can hear what else he can’t say. 
I love you. I’m sorry. 
+++
“Alright, you’ve got everything you need?” You stand next to him on the tarmac, shading your eyes from the sun. 
Aaron hikes his bag higher on his shoulder. “Think so. You gonna be alright?”
You nod and reach for him. He embraces you, tucking his head into your shoulder. “You be safe, Aaron Hotchner. If you die out there I’ll kill you myself.” 
He chuckles, and you hope the sound is enough to keep your heart from breaking too much over the next couple of months. Your eyes close as he presses a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll check in when I can.”
Shoving against his chest, you turn him around and push him toward the plane. “Get outta here.” 
He takes one last look over his shoulder when he reaches the loading ramp and offers you a wave. You return it. 
+++
You manage to get to the highway before the tears start. The only person you want to talk to is Emily. She’d know exactly what to say, and she’d make sure your days off were full of fun and good company. You pull off on the side of the road, your head falling into your hands, sobs wracking through you.
When you’re able to keep driving, your chest hurts beyond belief. 
Without her, these months seem to stretch before you forever. 
+++ april 2011 +++
It’s not the first time you’ve ended up in his office alone, but it’s the first time you’ve really noticed the evidence of his absence. 
The picture frames on his desk started gathering dust, so you brought a little duster to the office. His desktop computer has stopped making noise, so you turned it on and off once out of pity. His phone hardly rings, unless it's the NSA trying to get a hold of one of you for a sat phone call, so you and Morgan take turns taking forwarded calls. 
The silence is overwhelming and seems to pull something intangible from you. It’s exhausting. 
“When’s the last time you slept?” 
You turn, finding Penelope in the doorway. You’re not sure how long she’s been there, watching your acquiescence to the bees that seem to have invaded your brain in the last couple of weeks. 
“I slept last night,” you tell her. It’s not technically a lie. 
She doesn’t look impressed. “Did you sleep through the night, or are you just trying to play one of your Jedi mind tricks on me?” 
With a sigh, you cop to it. “No, I didn’t sleep through the night.” You look out the window to the bullpen, and you know she sees something on your face. 
“I don’t like it either.” She looks over her shoulder, finding Spencer and Ashley playing a game of Go on the desk. Unsurprisingly, Spencer’s winning. Rossi and Derek speak quietly by the little kitchen, looking just about as tired as you feel. 
The short-handedness is getting to you. “There’s just…” You search for something to say. “There’s just so much to do.” 
Penelope looks back. Her mouth twists. “And we’re down a couple’a hands.” 
That’s an understatement. 
+++
“I would understand if you needed some time to think about it.” Erin leans forward in her chair, elbows on her desk. “With your team cut in half, even I wouldn’t feel comfortable sending you to another unit without some time to train a replacement or two.” 
“Or three,” you add.
She looks at you and nods. “Exactly.” 
You pick up the letter from the Special Agent in Charge in Los Angeles. You’d be his right hand - essentially the liaison between operational support divisions and units operating in the field. It’s a hell of an opportunity, a huge promotion, and a significant bump in pay. 
“Can I take you up on the offer to think about it?” You slide the letter across the desk again. 
Her eyes are soft, and you almost feel close to her in that moment. “Of course. Take your time. It’s a position created just for you, so there’s nobody else in line for it.” 
“Thanks.” 
+++ may 2011 +++
“Ready or not, here I come!” You call across the apartment, sneaking through the familiar rooms with practiced ease. 
Aaron’s been away for close to a month, and you’ve settled into a routine. Cases, of course, keep you busy. Derek’s rather good at playing unit chief - decisive and collaborative - but you miss Aaron’s steady, even hand. 
Really, you miss everything about him. You try not to think about him too much. 
You fail, often. 
Avoiding thoughts of Aaron gets even harder as you creep into the master bedroom. The smell of him hasn’t left. Past the doorway, the air is spicy, masculine, and warm. You squint at the bed. One of the pillows moves, just a little, and you pounce, pulling the covers back and grabbing the wiggling pillow. 
Jack screeches and throws himself at you. You catch him and fall back on the bed, laughing. “I found you!”
Jess is off running errands for the afternoon, taking some well-earned time off. You’ll more than likely spend the night over here tonight to give her more of her weekend. It’s never any trouble to stay with Jack. You adore each other. 
Usually, Jack leaps right to his feet for another round, but he stays put after his fit of mirth passes, sprawling across your chest. 
“What are you thinking about over there?”
He sighs, and brings his little hands under his chin, propping his head up so he can look at you. He’s six (and then some), now - still very much a boy - but the pensive look on his face starkly reminds you of his father. “When’s Dad going to be home?”
You push some hair off his forehead. “I’m not sure, my love. I’m hoping it’s only a couple more weeks, but it could be a little longer than that.” 
He sighs, and it breaks your heart a little. You turn on your side, and he curls into you, resting his head on your arm and tucking under your chin. “Are you and my dad best friends? I have a best friend named Connor and he says best friends are really important and I was just wondering.”
You laugh a little. “Yeah, I think so. Your dad and I have known each other for a long time.” His little hands play with the collar of your shirt. There’s more to his question. Jack’s just like his dad and takes a bit of ferreting out. Luckily, you’ve had plenty of practice. “What are you curious about, little bug?”
“Do you miss Dad?”
A track of Aaron’s laugh, his smile, the way his arms feel around you flies through your head. “Yeah, I miss him a lot.” 
“I’m happy you’re here so we can miss him together.” You can almost hear Aaron’s voice in Jack’s. It sounds just like something he would say, and probably has said, talking to his son about Haley.
“Me too, buddy.” You kiss the top of his head. “Me too.” 
Jess returns about an hour later, groceries in-hand, to find you and Jack curled together in Aaron’s bed, snoozing the afternoon away. She snaps a picture with her phone, saving it in an album she keeps for Aaron. After she puts the groceries away, she escapes, leaving a note. 
You’re on your own tonight and tomorrow. Have a good time with breakfast - he’s been picky lately. 
XO, Jess
+++
“You know,” Jess says, a little out of the blue one afternoon. “Haley told me something once.” 
You snort. “I’d imagine she told you a great number of things.” 
“Well, sure. But I mean about you and Aaron.” 
It’s pretty stupid that your body decides to panic over absolutely nothing. If this was a polygraph, you’d fail outright. And yet, nothing’s happened between you and Aaron. You’re just friends. 
Yeah but you love him. 
And he probably loves you, too. 
But we're all to chickenshit for that.
What a-fucking-bout it?
You take a little breath and a sip of your tea. “Oh?” You hope the query sounds casual enough and doesn’t give away the cool sweat blossoming over your palms. 
Luckily, Jess isn’t a profiler. 
“Haley told me - and this was the summer before she died, so it’s not like she told me under duress or anything - that she thought there may have been something between you and Aaron after the divorce.” 
She says that like it’s the simplest thing. You’re not sure what to say, so you keep your eyes on the grain of the coffee table, tracing the lines with your eyes. Eventually, you decide to answer in the simplest, most honest way possible. 
“There’s never been anything between Aaron and me. He’s one of my best friends and I care about him.” That sounds evasive even to your own ears. “I care about him a lot.” 
Jess hums. “I know, but Haley always had a sense about these things. And she knows Aaron better than anyone.” 
Her slip into the present tense makes your chest pull. 
“I don’t say that to put you on the spot or anything.” She shrugs. “I just think you guys would be good together. You’re good for him and I think he’s good for you, too.” 
She’s more right than she knows, but you can’t think about it for too long. You miss him too much. 
Out of a need to respond, you offer a half-hearted, “Maybe.” 
Jess reaches out. “He’ll be home soon. When he gets back, I think you should at least think about it. Or talk about it.” She shakes her head. “Or something.” 
“I have -” You cut yourself off, not really meaning to share. 
She squeezes your knee. “I know you have. So has he.” 
+++ june 2011 +++
Back to back cases - five of them, to be exact, pull you through the next four weeks by the ear. Formal leadership wears on Derek more and more by the day, and you find yourself making just as many decisions as he does. You’re immensely proud of him, but the whole thing is exhausting. Spencer does his best to slip back into his normal role, but Emily’s loss continues to wear on him. You don’t blame him.
Most days feel held together by duct tape, with you and Rossi acting as the adhesive. All that and the offer in Los Angeles you’ve hardly had time to process. 
Thus, your evening with Jess is both well-earned and much needed. 
“Wanna crash here tonight?” She sets a mug of tea down on the coffee table in front of you and sits heavily back on the couch. “It’s pretty late.”
You check your watch and find it is indeed late. Before you can answer, your phone rings, and you answer it with an apologetic glance toward Jess. “Hey, Morgan. What’s up?”
“We have sat call notification from Hotch. Can you come in?” He sounds exhausted. 
“Yeah, I can be there in twenty. Is everything okay?”
He sighs. “Yeah, looks like a routine check-in.” 
Jess sighs, knowing the drill. She goes to the kitchen and pours your tea into a travel mug. 
“Are you calling anyone else in?”
“Nope. Just you. See you when you get here.” He hangs up. 
You stare at your phone as Jess sits next to you again. “We have a call from Aaron coming in, and I have to head to the office.” She hands you your travel mug, and you take it gratefully. 
“You’re welcome back here - I can set up Aaron’s room for you. We’re a lot closer to the office than your place, and I don’t want you to drive if you’re too tired.” She sets a hand on your knee, and you reach over to embrace her. 
“Thanks, Jess.”
+++
When you arrive, Derek’s already on the phone. “... So, no leads?... Right.” He looks up and catches your eye. “Here, Hotch.”
You take the phone. “Hey.”
“Hi.” He sounds relieved. “Are you doing okay? How’s Jack?”
His questions make you smile. “We’re good. He’s good. I just left the apartment - Jess and I were having some grown-up movie time.”
You’re warmed by his laugh. “Good. Glad to hear it. I was just telling Derek that the leads out here have gone cold, but we’re still working.”
“Ah. Any chance you’ll be home soon?” You avoid Derek’s searching gaze. 
“It doesn’t look that way, no. We’re picking up on some chatter out there, but nothing firm. We’ll have to keep out for a couple more weeks at least.”
Your heart drops, but you hide it as best you can. “Alright. Anything you need from us back here?”
“Just keep doing good work.” You know he can’t say much more than that, with more than a couple of NSA guys in between you on the line, not to mention the archival recording of the call. Even then, you know he means looking for Doyle. “That’s all I need from you.” 
“We can do that.” You give him a quick rundown of some recent cases, all surface-level. You’re mostly stalling, using up incredibly expensive satellite time just to hear his voice. 
You hear him sigh. “Alright, I gotta get back. Tell Jack and Jess I love them.” 
“Of course.” You hand the phone back to Derek and wait while they finish up. Your eyes wander over the volumes of law books in Aaron’s bookshelf, the pictures of Jack and Haley and Jess behind his desk. Wandering over to his chair, you sit down and rest your head on your arms. 
Your eyes wander to a photo taken a year and a half ago at Haley’s service. You’re not sure who took it, but you’re crouched on the ground talking to Jack, while Aaron stands behind him with a hand on his head. Jack's little hands are in yours, and he’s smiling a little. 
Of all the photos to keep on his desk...
Derek hangs up the sat phone and puts it back in the lockbox. He crosses the office and leans against the desk beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder. 
+++
When you get back to the apartment (indeed much closer than your home), Jess is asleep in the guest room, and Jack’s still out like a light. 
You change into your pajamas, stuffed into your go bag, and curl up under the covers on Aaron's side of the bed. His pillow smells faintly like him, and you burrow into it. 
The bed feels far too big and far too cold without him. 
+++
“JJ!” You stand to greet her. “What are you doing here?” 
She holds up her credentials. “I’ve been reinstated as a profiler on temporary assignment, so don’t get too excited. It’s a contingent favor for the FBI and I’m sure the State Department will call to collect sometime soon.” 
You clear your consults and subpoenas off the desk beside you. “Good to have you back.” Looking over at the intimidating stack of files you ask, “Need anything to do?”
+++ july 2011 +++
The next time a sat call comes in, you can’t go into the office. Jack has the flu and is absolutely miserable. You can’t, in good conscience, leave Jess to her own devices. Between the vomit and the sleeplessness and the tears, four hands are absolutely necessary. 
“Derek, I can’t leave. Jack is literally puking his guts out as we speak, and I don’t have any new intel for Hotch.” 
Morgan huffs into the phone. “Come on. You know you’re the only one he actually wants to talk to and the only one who has any actual updates about Jack.” 
“You just have to tell him that I’m up in the middle of the night with his son, who has the flu. Isn’t that enough of an update?” You don’t really mean to snap at him, but the lack of sleep has made you a little punchy. 
“Fine. If he -”
“Yeah, I know. If he gets upset, just blame me. He can deal with me when he’s not in Pakistan. As long as there are five time zones between us, I’ll take my fucking chances.”
“Fair enough.” 
He hangs up, and you return to the hall bathroom, where Jack’s cheek is pressed against the toilet seat, his forehead clammy and face pale. Jess is taking her turn to sleep - you’ll switch off in an hour. 
“Hey, bubba.”
He mumbles something that sounds like, “Hi.”
“Can I get you some crackers or maybe some Sprite?” 
Jack shakes his head and lifts himself up, holding his arms out. The risk of illness far from your mind, you gather him up and lean against the cabinets, rubbing his back.
“Can you try to close your eyes for me?”
“I don’t feel good.” There are a few tears in his voice, and it breaks your heart a little. You’ve so been there. 
“I know, baby. I know. Just close your eyes for a minute, okay?”
He does, and his breathing evens out eventually. He’s still feverish, but you’re happy he’s sweating, at least. It could break by morning at this rate. 
The makeshift towel-bed on the bathroom floor looks more than inviting. You gingerly shuffle over and lay down, keeping Jack flat against your chest. 
It’s the best sleep you’ve had in weeks.
+++
“Strauss offered me that transfer to LA again.” 
Derek looks up at you from his report, his brows drawn low over his eyes. “You gonna take it?” 
You heave a sigh. Before you can say anything -
“Yeah, that sounds about right.” He puts his pen down, giving you his full attention. “What’s stopping you?” 
So many things. 
There are only a couple of them you can say aloud. Luckily, they have the benefit of being true, albeit incomplete. “I love this work. I love this team. I don't know if I want to be a lackey for an almost-politician.” 
“And?” 
He’s got you. He knows there’s more because he knows you. Even then, you can’t bring yourself to say exactly what it is that’s holding you back. So, you hedge your answer, knowing he’ll understand. 
“I can’t -” leave Aaron and Jack. You clear your throat. “I can’t leave this team. Maybe that makes me a coward or suggests a lack of adventure or something, but I can’t do it.” 
“It doesn’t,” Derek says. “It makes you human.” 
You smile a little. 
“And for the record, I don’t want you to leave. And I don’t think Jack and Hotch do, either.” 
A little incredulous laugh leaves you. Derek simply smiles, but doesn’t say much else. It makes your point for you. 
Nobody else knows you like this team. 
+++
The hardest days are the ones where you end up by yourself. Derek’s picked up kickboxing with Penelope, Spencer has withdrawn almost entirely, JJ has her family, and Rossi retreats to the cabin by the lake with an alarming degree of regularity. 
Thank God he’s not as cranky as Gideon. 
That would be too spooky. 
Everyone is out of the office, scattered to their respective distractions. You sit on the floor of Aaron’s office, leaning against his desk. Your laptop sits open in front of you, but you’re only half paying attention to the movie playing. 
It was only this afternoon you realized his office smelled more like stale paper, your house, and Tiger Balm than Aaron, and it broke your heart a little. Your only solace was his apartment - the evidence of his existence was inescapable there. With Emily gone for good, you often needed the reminder. 
His office phone rings. You pause the movie, stand, and answer it. 
“Agent Hotchner’s office.” 
NSA is on the other side, dry and professional. “We have an incoming call from Agent Hotchner. Is Agent Morgan available?” 
You tell him he’s not, but that you’re the next in line to receive task force updates. In an equally dry and professional tone, you relay your credentials and your unique intel code. 
“Thank you. Please stand by.” Click. 
You roll your eyes. 
God, they’re boring. 
Sitting down at Aaron’s desk, you wait for the armed guard to arrive with the phone. As per protocol, you’ll sign for the call and remove it from the lockbox yourself. You’ll return it for pickup when the call is completed. 
The guard shows up and you step through the motions, finally getting the phone to your ear. 
“Hey.” 
“Oh, it’s you.” He sounds surprised, but not displeased. 
You laugh a little. “Yeah, it’s me. Morgan’s unavailable at the moment.” 
“I see. Is Jack feeling any better?”
“Yeah. He’s been alright for about a week now. It was a pretty nasty bug, but he’s a trooper. Any new chatter down your way?” You trace the wood grain of his desk with your finger, only a little absent-minded. 
“There’s a little bit of activity on the border. We’re monitoring the situation. Is everything going okay over there?”
“Yeah, for the most part. We’ve been feeling the heat a little since Seaver transferred to Andy’s unit, but we’re managing alright. Dave’s called JJ back in to lend a hand, and she’s doing really well.” 
He hums. “That was a smart idea.” 
“I’ll tell him you said so.” 
“Oh, please don’t. It’ll go straight to his head.” 
You smile. “Fair point. Any updates on the timetable?”
When are you coming home? Please make it soon. 
“Not at the moment. I think we’re getting closer. Few more weeks.” There’s something behind his voice you can’t quite grasp, but you let it go. 
“Alright. Keep us posted.” 
“Will do. You know the drill.” 
“I sure do. I’ll relay the information to the team, tell your son you love him, and talk to you in a couple of weeks.” 
You can almost hear his smile. “Exactly. Talk soon.”
“Be safe, Aaron.” 
“Hey, before you go,” he says. “Can you, um -” 
You smile, tracing the wood grain on his desk. “I’ll tell Haley you said Happy Birthday.”
“Thanks.”
+++
Jess’s hand only shakes a little as she lights the candle and holds the cupcake between the three of you. While she takes care of the cake and begins to sing with Jack, you hold the camera, filming the impromptu party so Aaron can see it when he comes home.
“Okay, Jack you have to help Mom blow out the candle,” Jess says, holding the cupcake in front of him. With a great amount of glee, Jack extinguishes the candle with a big breath and a laugh. 
You turn the camera on Jess, who says, “We couldn't let Haley’s forty-first go unrecognized - she’s officially old and we had to let her know.” 
With a laugh of your own, you turn the camera around and wave before turning it off. 
“Can I eat the cake now?” Jack asks. 
Jess nods, pulling the candle and setting it aside on your picnic blanket. “Of course, but after we eat some fruit, okay? I don’t want the ants to get to the basket before you do.” 
The July sunshine beats down on the three of you, picnicking beside Haley’s resting place. It is, in fact, her forty-first birthday. You can only imagine the look on her face she would have adopt when you reminded her of her age. 
“Oh please,” she’d say. “When you get to be as old as me, you’ll never hear the end of it.” 
Jack sits in the sun, munching on a little apple slice. You reach over, rubbing a little splotch of sunscreen into his skin. He already has a little sunburn from your adventure to the District earlier in the week and you’re not about to make your life even harder. 
Aaron’s absence, even in its fourth month, is glaring. Jack has mostly stopped waking in the middle of the night looking for him and having regular meltdowns, but he always looks up when the front door opens with an expectant look that breaks your heart. He’s an adaptable kid, but months without contact from his father have taken their toll. If you’re honest, it surprised you a little bit. 
With a little bit of perspective, months are different than days, or even a week or two. Jack relies on Aaron more than you realized and the difficulty of helping Jess where you can has only further illuminated your ignorance.
“Will Mom always have a birthday?” Jack asks. 
Jess looks over at him. “What do you mean?”
He thinks for a moment, a little pensive. “I mean, because she’s not here. Do people who aren’t here still have birthdays?” 
“They do,” she replies. “That’s why we have to celebrate for them. They aren’t here, but it’s still special.” 
He nods, a kind of understanding look on his face that makes you think he knows exactly what that means. 
+++
“Yeah?”
You smile. It’s been a minute since you heard his voice, over the phone or otherwise. “Hey, Dr. Reid. How’s Vegas?”
“Hot. But it’s nice to be home.”
“How’s your mom?” You trace aimless patterns over the mat on Aaron’s desk, watching the suede imprint and erase as you go.
He sighs. “She’s alright. I think she’s about ready to kick me out, though.”
“It’s only been three weeks,” you laugh. “Surely you can make yourself useful?”
“I sent in her most recent publication to the journal, so I’ve outgrown my use until I find her a new thesis.”
You can almost see it - the two geniuses, mother and son, bickering over a game of chess or fourteenth-century novel. “Better find her a new thesis, then.”
Spencer’s thin smile is audible through the phone. “Guess so. How are things over there?”
“It’s a little hectic. It’s just me, JJ, Morgan, and Rossi now. Penelope’s still working with us regularly, but counter-terrorism keeps pulling her for ‘special projects,’ whatever that means.”
You don’t mean to guilt him into coming back or anything - you know he needs the time to recharge. He’ll come back when he wants to or feels he needs to but at this point, there’s hardly a difference between four and five agents on the team. You need Aaron. And Emily.
“With the amount of summer task forces coalescing, that doesn’t surprise me.” He pauses. “I’ll probably spend a few more weeks here unless there are any developments between now and then.”
By developments, you know it means any confirmed sighting of your target. “That sounds like a plan. We’ll be glad to have you back but take your time. You’ve more than earned it.”
“Thanks.”
+++ august 2011 +++
“How’s Jack?” 
“He’s doing alright,” you tell him. “He misses you.” 
I miss you.
Aaron sighs. There isn’t time for everything he wants to say, even less for the things he could. “I’m probably going to miss his first day.” 
“That’s what I figured.” It's hard to think about and probably going to be harder than you can imagine, especially if there’s a case that takes you away from home. “Jess will take lots of pictures and I’m sure he’ll be happy to tell you all about it when you get home.” 
It’s hard to keep the bitterness from your voice, but neither one of you could have anticipated this would go on for this long. ‘Over the summer’ seems a little abstract until the end of the summer arrives. 
This isn’t his fault. It isn’t. You know that. 
But it’s his fault for going in the first place. 
Conceptual anger isn’t useful. That’s another thing of which you’re keenly aware. 
And yet…
“Thank you for being there for them,” he says, as if he’s reading your mind. “I know this isn’t easy.” 
There’s nothing you can really say, but you hum anyway. 
The pair of you are just eating satellite time now, so you say goodbye and good luck before tipping your head back against his office chair. 
When the tears slip down your cheeks, you’re not sure if you miss him more than you’re mad at him or the other way around. 
+++
“Chief Strauss?” You knock lightly on her door and she beckons you in, just finishing up a phone call. She gestures to the little sitting area in the corner of her office, and you make yourself comfortable on one of the couches.
She hangs up and joins you. “Have you thought more about the offer?”
“I have. Thank you for your patience. I know it’s been a little while since we first spoke about it.”
Erin waves her hands, brushing off the implied apology. “The BAU’s work in the last few weeks has been exemplary. I’m impressed, especially considering the significant funding and personnel obstacles you’re facing at the moment.”
You laugh a little.  “I hope that doesn’t make anyone think working with this many people is acceptable, ma’am.”
“No,” she assures you. “I’ve made that very clear.”
There’s a small moment of silence before you speak again.
“I won’t be accepting the position in Los Angeles.”
Strauss sighs but doesn’t look surprised. “That’s as I expected. I will, however, add something that I did not share with you before to further inform your choice.”
You sit up a little straighter, a little more attentive.
“The push for a transfer is also in an effort to protect your reputation. I know the BAU has continued investigating Ian Doyle and while that is noble, it could go very wrong. And that much is above my head. DHS, ATF, NSA - they could all be upset by your unofficial involvement. This could go as high as Congress and could result in your permanent termination from the bureau, making you ineligible for work in federal law enforcement.”
“Yes, ma’am. High risk, high reward.” You shrug. “Or at least, that’s what Dr. Reid tells me.”
A wan smile pulls at her mouth. “Yes. As long as you’re comfortable with the consequences.”
“I am, ma’am.”
“Good.”
+++ september 2011 +++
“Alright, buddy! You ready to go?” 
Jack adjusts the straps on his little backpack while Jess finishes putting his lunch together. “I’m ready. Just need lunch.” 
“It’s right here!” Jess says, bringing his Captain America lunchbox to him and strapping it to the outside of his backpack. “You’ve got a ham and cheese sandwich, a juice box, some carrots, and a brownie. Does that sound okay?” 
He nods. 
“And if it’s not enough, we can always get some more food after school okay? It can be a special treat.” 
Jack grins and you all head off to the car together. 
+++
The little meltdown arrives when you and Jess move to leave him at the door of his classroom. Jack’s brown eyes get wide and rapidly fill with tears as soon as you take a step away from him. 
“Jack, baby, c’mere.” You drop to your knee and open your arms. He steps into them and you can feel his shaky, hiccuping breaths against your shoulder. 
While you hold him, you hear Jess debriefing his new teacher about their current situation, and the way things are in general. Dad in Pakistan, dead mom, goes by Jack rather than Jonathan, the whole nine. 
“You are so brave,” you whisper into his hair. “You are so smart. You are a good friend and you are safe.” 
He nods. 
“I’m so sorry your dad can’t be here, honey, but he’s going to be so excited to hear all about it as soon as he gets home. And I'll tell him how brave you are on our next secret superhero phone call.” 
‘Secret superhero phone call’ was the best way you could describe using the sat phone (and why Jack couldn't talk to Aaron himself) so you just went with it. 
Jack nods again, sniffling a little and pulling back. You reach for him, wiping his tears with your thumbs. 
“I love you so much, bud.” 
“I love you, too.” 
You kiss his forehead, reminding him, “I might have to get on a plane for work, but otherwise I’ll see you after you’re done with your first-ever day of school, okay? This is so exciting!”
He finally smiles, and your work is done. When he steps into the classroom, he doesn’t look back.
+++
Thankfully, you’re not pulled for another case until the end of the week, so you’re able to see Jack through his first-ever week of school. 
It hits you more than once that you’re the person next to Jess right now while he hits these milestones. Long gone is that toddler that would giggle in his mother’s arms as she danced around the living room to Hall and Oates. In his place is an insightful little boy with a rapidly burgeoning sense of humor and a wickedly kind smile. 
You love him.
+++ 
The entire team got an emergency call, so you're all gathered in the roundtable room when Aaron walks in, looking all the worse for wear and -
Is that a beard?
Wait. He’s back. 
You just spoke to him on Monday, with news of a “few more weeks,” even in the face of developments on the Doyle case.
Fucking bastard knew he was coming home, didn’t he?
All of your joy in seeing him evaporates, and you narrow your eyes at him. Just like the last time you were in this room together, there’s an apology in his gaze. 
“Welcome back.” Derek doesn’t sound surprised, and your head whips toward him. He doesn’t look at you. 
Unbelievable. 
“Thanks. Everyone, have a seat.” You follow Aaron’s instructions, and sit, crossing your arms. It’s childish, sure, but the balance of personal and professional life has flown out the window. 
This feels like a personal slight, rather than a professional one. You try to push it away, but it lingers in your sternum like a lit flare. It’s uncomfortable, and you hate it. 
“Why?” Derek sounds a little concerned. Your anger cools a little bit. Derek doesn't actually know anything. “What’s going on? Is everything alright?”
“Seven months ago I made a decision that affected this team.” You notice, brow furrowed, that JJ stands beside Hotch like an ally. They both have odd looks on their faces. “As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle.”
No. 
“The doctors were able to stabilize her. She was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert exfiltration.” 
No. 
“Her identity was strictly need-to-know. She stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris, where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to for her security.” 
No. 
There’s silence, and you can’t tear your eyes from Aaron.  
“She’s alive?”
“We buried her...” 
Penelope and Spencer’s comments rush past you and you feel much like you did in the waiting room on that horrible, horrible night seven months ago. 
“As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me.” 
His eyes finally meet yours, and you find your vision blurred. You blink away your tears. 
It was a necessary lie. 
You go into this business expecting to be lied to. 
Not by Aaron. 
That’s not the issue and you know it. He left. 
He missed Jack’s first day of school. He was gone for five months. 
He left us. 
“Any issues?” Derek’s disbelief is marred by hurt, but you can’t reassure him through your own shock. “Yeah, I got issues.”
He’s cut off by Penelope’s glance toward the doorway. 
The team, save for JJ and Hotch, rushes toward her. You’re stuck to your seat until she approaches you. At her touch, you come back to life, throwing yourself into her arms. Her name sounds strangled leaving your mouth. “Emily.”
“I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” Her grip on you is tight, but your arms, looped around her shoulders, don’t feel like they’re attached to your body. 
She lets you go and continues to speak. Derek’s frozen, and you can’t imagine for a minute what’s going on in his head. Emily wraps around him. He’s stock still, his eyes misty. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when he brings his hand to her shoulder, his cheek falling onto the side of her head. 
It’s back to business faster than you can blink, and now you’re sure you’re not the only one ready to kill Aaron where he stands. Derek is livid. 
They stare at each other while Spencer starts asking questions. Eventually, they focus back. Aaron crosses to you, contributing where necessary. 
You don’t acknowledge him. It’s horrible. You hate being so angry with him, but there’s nothing to be done. 
You can’t be upset at him about Emily. There’s too much to understand, and yet the initial shock of it is like a never-ending bucket of cold water poured over your body. 
Selfishly, you realize you’re upset with him because he didn’t tell you he was coming home. It’s so small when there are other, much bigger, issues to address. 
Emily’s lie is professional. Just part of the job. This one feels personal.
You’re a child. Let it go. 
He knew and he left. 
He missed Haley's birthday.
He knew and he left. 
He shouldn't have gone. 
He didn’t tell you he was coming home.
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A True Love III
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Gif credit @angelreyesgirl.
Taglist @nocturnalherb16 @jesseswartzwelder @leaalfred. @creepers-baby-girl @mayans-mc. @baylishh. @writerwithasoul. @twistnet
@glimmerglittergirl. @ilovetaquitosmmmm @lovebennycolonmiguelgalindo. @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @withmyteeth. @miss-nori85. @spnaquakindgdom @mrsmarvelous1995. @believinghurts
Miguel was furious when you didnt come back with his man. He excused himself and marched down the hall straight into the ladies room without knocking.
"Where the hell is she"? Miguel balled up his fist. Nestor, his second in command came in behind him.
"Not sure. Found this in the grass behind the kitchen". Nestor handed Miguel your wedding ring that you threw in the grass.
"I want her found. Hunt that little bitch down. Kill who ever she's with. But bring her to me". Miguel growled, clenching the ring in his hand.
Thank goodness there wasn't any cameras in the back. They wouldn't have to work as hard as Miguel did.
He stayed up all hours drinking and pacing the house. Smelling your robe. He was losing it. Every time Nestor came back empty handed, Miguel would flip on anyone in the room. The house was destroyed. From his fits.
"How hard is it to find a girl? A beautiful goddess. She has to be here. Find her". Miguel ordered, his moods changed in a heart beat.
"Mikey, what if she didnt run away"? Nestor suggested.
"What do you mean"? Miguel thought about it. Nestor was hinting at maybe you were taken.
"What if she was kidnapped and she tossed her wedding ring as a sign".
"Who would do that? Everyone knows who I am and what I'm capable of. They wouldnt touch her".
"We have lots of enemies. Anyone could have".
"But why would she just tell my man to go away"?
"They could have held a gun to her head or threatened to kill you. Y/N, loves you". Nestor spoke softly to his friend. But boy was he dead wrong about everything.
Meanwhile Angel pulled up to the clubhouse. You jumped off and ran inside. Your hand clamped over your mouth as you saw your mother, little sister and grandfather sitting with the members of the club.
"Mamá! Abuelito!". You cried out, getting their attention. You havent seen them in years. After getting married to Miguel he wouldn't let you see them. All these emotions where hitting full force.
Your mother cried as she hugged you. Her oldest daughter finally coming home. Your grandfather kissed the top of your head. And your little sister gave you a thumbs up and a smile, she was talking to Ez.
"Donde esta papi"? You asked looking around for your father. Your mother looked down at her feet. Your grandfather spat.
"He didnt come, Mi Amor. He felt ashamed. He thought he was doing you good. But now he sees he only brought heartache to this family".
"He stayed? What if Miguel goes there to see if I'm there or if they're there? He'll kill him, if he lies". You panicked turning to Angel.
"We tried to get him to come. He wouldnt. I'm sorry". Angel grabbed your hand.
"Oh God. This is my fault. I need to go back". You went to push past Angel but he grabbed you by your waist.
"Let me go, Angel. I'm not letting my father die because of me". You yelled, wiggling around to get out of his grip.
"I'm not letting you go back. Your father made his choice. You cant do anything about it".
You sobbed into Angel's arms as he held you. "I love him. I can't let him die".
"I'll send a few guys to go see if he'll change his mind but you have got to calm down". Angel suggested.
"Okay. I'm calm. Thank you". You wiped away your tears and walked with your mother to the couch. There was a lot of catching up to do. First thing she wanted to know was who was Angel to you? Oh you hated to tell her. But she'll live.
However Miguel felt like his heart was breaking in pieces. You were gone less than five hours and he has basically everyone there except for the news crew.
"What has happened to my wife"? He sobbed, putting on a show for the police. Miguel wanted to keep the disappearance on the low but some of the partygoers heard and called the police. So he had to put on a show while Nestor did the dirty work of finding you.
"Psst". Nestor motioned to get Miguel's attention after he talked to the police.
"What did you find"?
"There was a witness".
"Well what did they see"? Miguel was getting excited.
"A motorcycle. They didnt see the guy or Y/N. Just a motorcycle".
"That could be anyone. He could have been coming to work for all we know". Miguel scoffed.
"Who knows about motorcycles more than us"?
"Scum bag Mayans. Get them on the phone. They own me a favor. Time to collect". Miguel smirked. If he couldnt find you, a bunch of lowlifes can.
"So he's your boyfriend"? The look on your mothers face said confused. You told her everything about Angel and how he rescued you. Just left out all the sex parts and sneaking around.
"Yeah. I love him".
"Loves a strong word, Lirio de tigre". You smiled at your nickname that shes called you since you were born.
"I mean it. It's not like with Miguel. I was forced to say it with him. Not with Angel, I feel it. Deep down inside with all my heart and soul".
She smiled. "I'm happy for you. I want you to be happy and find true love".
"Angels the one for me". You squeezed her hands as she held yours.
"Guys we have a problem". Bishop the presidente came in the room. He had his cellphone in hand and looked directly at Angel than to you.
"What is it"? You cautiously asked.
"Galindo. He wants his favor".
"And what's that"? Angel gulped, walking over to the couch and sitting on the arm of it. His hand on your back.
"He wants us to find his missing bride. The first place to look is at her family's home".
"Just say we went and she wasn't there".
"He wants us to bring her family back, dead. To make sure she cant go there, if she is running away. Oceteva is calling back with directions.  We got maybe ten minutes to figure something out".
Angel's, your moms and your heart sank. You never thought he would kill your family. You never thought of running away either.
"I'm going back. I have too. Just say you found me on the side of the road and I can come up with some story". You got off the couch and went up to Bishop.
"I didnt mean to bring this to your club. I'm sorry. I dont want anyone getting hurt or killed".
"Another thing. They think someone with a motorcycle kidnapped you or you took off with someone with a motorcycle. We're the only ones that ride except for the SONS but Galindo knows they havent been here".
"So he knows it's one of us. He's just trying to weed us out so he can come in and find her here. That's his plan. Have us looking all over and he comes here. Finds her, kills us all". Angel ran his hand through his hair with a huff.
"I'm going back. There will be no killing". You yelled, over everyone's thoughts.
"What if Angel takes Y/N and her family out of town and stays away"? Bishop suggested.
"You're kicking me out"? Angel jumped up.
"No. You could always start a new charter somewhere. Be presidente. Or you could have a life without the club. Your choice. Better make it quick cause times a ticking". Bishop pointed to his phone.
Angel thought about everything. Leaving his brothers and home forever. Never seeing them again. Cause he couldnt step back here with you because he knew Miguel would still be looking for you. Or he could stay and fight. Maybe lose a brother or two in the process. Maybe his own life. But it would be worth fighting for since he had you.
He could become a family man and settle down. Have a couple of kids and enjoy the normal life. But that really wasn't Angel. He was a fighter. Always has been.
He's made up his mind just in time.
"I'm staying. We'll fight". Angel grabbed your hand and squeezed it. You knew what everyone was sacrificing for your love.
"You sure? You can just leave".
"No. I'm no coward. Answer the phone". Angel gulped, squeezing your hand. His heartbeat was pounding, he thought you noticed when you looked up at him. A scared look on your face.
Bishop picked it up and answered. Nestor gave him directions and who to take out. Bishop ended the phone call.
"We have our orders. But we need a plan".
"They could stay with pop. Galindo doesnt go around there". Ez suggested.
"They could. But what about the bodies"?
"Bodies are easy to come by". Coco chuckled, lighting up a cigarette.
"We have a slight problem on the plan"? Bishop interrupted.
Everyone looked at Bishop, there happiness slowly disappearing.
"He wants the kid sister, alive. Proof of the bodies and he thinks that if he has her. Y/N would come back".
"No. That wont work". You shook your head.
"How long has it been since you've seen your family"?
"Since I've been married. But I dont know if Miguel has seen them or not. Why"?
"She grew up. Changed. We find a girl that is willing and we send her in instead".
"No. I couldn't do that to some poor girl".
"Y/N, this is all we have. We have to do this". Angel looked you in the eye.
"I didn't want anyone to die". Your eyes filled up with tears and your lip quivered.
"We'll find dead bodies. No ones going to die. I promise". Angel kissed your forehead.
"Okay. If you think this will work. Try it". You didn't seem so sure this was going to work. Miguel was a smart man. He would find out sooner or later the truth.
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jeongyunhoed · 3 years
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Past-Present-Future Black Dahlia
Two major tragedies bring Lee Mirae closer to the edge as she goes through the stages of grief in a more violent manner that would affect not only her relationships with her boyfriend Jeong Yunho and her half-brother Choi San, but also has her becoming closer with the immortal mutant Kang Yeosang. Fueled by rage, grief, and pain, along with a very rude awakening that has Mirae spiraling out of control and questioning everything she holds dear.
Group: ATEEZ Member: Yunho Pairing: Jeong Yunho / OC Genre: Action, adventure, angst, fantasy
Watch Out! : Violence, blood, death, grief and loss, major character deaths, use of weapons, some jealousy (but no cheating ofc), implied smut (not sure if there is any but i’m putting it out there nonetheless), mental illness (probably?), gambling and alcohol
Anything else? : Mentions of other idols of course as well as other characters. SuperM, Dean, Chanyeol, Zelo, soloist Park Jihoon to name a few.
Author’s Note: Again, interesting things happen when you wing it. Look out for a cool fight scene, I think one of the best fight scenes I’ve written if I do say so myself. It was a challenge to write Yunho’s though, spoiler alert. But I hope this chapter brings us closer to a possible conclusion, or at least gives us an idea of how things could end. 
Masterlist
Chapter 7
Yunho could see the horizon from where he stood, feeling the wind come east, swooping by him. This was where the portal brought him. One moment he was at the grounds of the school, and the next he was in this town that seemed deserted, looking like something out of an old western movie. It reminded him of the place where cowboys were, and for some reason, it reminded him of his time in Morocco. 
He needed to look for a way out, or a way back, realizing what he heard. Mirae had refused to join them, out of Ino getting Baekhyun out of the way, out of the fact that they probably wouldn’t keep their promise of getting him and San back to her. He knew what was going on, only he didn’t know how to get out and not even his teleporting might help as he didn’t know where to go. 
Yunho closed his eyes, trying to hear Mirae again in the hopes of reaching out to her. He wondered if her refusing Ino meant that she was back, back to being the person he knew her to be, if she was back to being the person who could only grieve without getting people hurt. 
As he opened his eyes, Yunho felt a strange pounding in his chest, as if he was nervous. The surroundings had changed, at least how the village he found himself in changed, as he could still see the same dirt road ahead. Everything was a lot more colorful, shades of blue mixed in with the shades of rust. The rest of the colors seemed to be in the fabrics of stalls near buildings that were castle-like. 
It was like he was back. Back in the place where his immortality, his mutant gene took effect. The only thing that seemed to be missing were the scorch marks and patches of blood, even his own wounds. 
Yunho remembered the days of hiding out, disguising himself countless times to blend in. But he also remembered the times his teleportation would fluctuate whenever he was hiding in dark street corners at night, unintentionally scaring off children. He felt a nervousness that he hadn’t felt in a while, a feeling of dread as he looked around the deserted village. 
“This is taking you back, isn’t it?” 
Ino suddenly appeared in front of him along with Ten. Yunho stopped in his tracks. “Mirae made the wrong decision in refusing to join us. I have to admit, I feel disappointed,” The elder male said. 
“You feel disappointed? What about Mirae? What about Hyuk? What about Chanyeol? What about us? You betrayed us, betrayed our trust!” Yunho’s voice was raised. “You think you have the right to feel betrayed? You?!” 
“Hyuk and Chanyeol’s deaths were the price to pay in order to move our agenda forward. It’s time mutants really had some influence in the world. We’ve got powers, everyone else does not. If a few mutants dying is part of the process, then so be it,” Ino insisted. 
“So all this time, the Ino that we know, the Ino that Mirae knows, is bent on power after all…” Yunho said quietly. “Then Mirae is right to want to get at you too. As a matter of fact, everyone else that’s in here does.” 
“It might be so, but just like Hyuk and Chanyeol, it is also a price to pay to move forward a greater cause, for mutantkind,” Ino said. 
“What does that make you? Are you the leader for all of us?” Yunho glared at him. 
“Uh, we’ll get around to that,” Ten pointed out. “We’ve yet to elect the leader of this...whatever this is.” 
“Well, I am quite powerful, Yunho. I thought you knew that,” Ino said. 
“What is this world coming to?” Yunho looked down. He tried to get to Mirae again. “Where is San? Where did you put him?” He asked. 
“Tsk tsk tsk, I can’t tell you that,” Ten smirked. “As much as I can’t tell you what you remember from looking at this place. Brings back memories, doesn’t it? That last mission you had, your life since that day. People you’ve met, people you’ve… killed. And as a result of your mutant ability too. Don’t think we don’t know where you’ve been.” 
“Old habits die hard,” Yunho replied, but he could feel a little tinge of discomfort at his words. 
“That, it does,” Ten was grinning. “I suppose by the way you’re just standing still, you know there is nothing you can do right now.” 
“There’s always something. Ino knows it too,” Yunho glanced at the elder male again. “All I know is, at least I’m not the one running away from Mirae.” 
Ino’s face remained stoic. “I’m no coward, Yunho.” 
“Yes you are. It doesn’t change the fact that you made everyone else do the dirty work, just like you allowed Baekhyun and Jongin to tamper with the Danger Room. You didn’t let them in, they had to figure it out for themselves. Just like how you did nothing when you knew something was wrong,” Yunho pointed out as if to taunt him.
“There is a fine line between strategy and cowardice.” 
“And you’ve blurred that line.” 
“Are we going to continue this little repartee?” Ten asked, rolling his eyes. “We have to go back. They’ll need you to start operations.” 
Yunho smirked. “There is always a way, Ino hyung. I’m not running away from Mirae, you are.” 
Ino and Ten returned to the portal, Yunho catching a glimpse of where they were going. An island. “We’ll be back,” Ten said over his shoulder, and the portal disappeared. 
Powdery white snow fell on San’s head as he tried to figure out where he was while keeping himself warm. He wasn’t sure what happened. One moment, he was at the grounds of the abandoned school, running towards Mirae who had called out to him, the next moment he was at a forked road of what was a snowy mountainside, without his harpoon on him. 
San wasn’t sure where he was either. He didn’t know if this was still part of the place that they were in, or if this was somewhere else entirely. All he knew was that he needed to go back to the grounds of the school or at least to the place where everyone else would be. 
He stood in the middle of the forked road. It seemed unlikely that cars or even people would be coming any moment, and it made him think of the possible outcomes if he chose one road. If he chose the one going up, he might have an idea of where to go. If he chose the road going forward, he would see what else he would have to deal with if he decided to go. 
San thought of Mirae, what she would do in a situation like this, and without another thought, he ran up the road going upwards, looking up from time to time to see how far he had to go. It wasn’t going to be that far, but he knew he didn’t have much time. San kept running, only to skid to a halt, almost falling over when he realized he dodged a dart. Looking at it closely, the dart looked very familiar, almost too familiar. 
“Choi San!” 
He felt a chill down his spine at the call of his name. The voice sounded just as familiar and looking at the dart and out from the view where he heard his name, he realized just how familiar the place he was in was. The more his name was called by that same voice, San broke into a run again, taking large strides up the road that would lead to the mountaintop. 
“I can’t be back here, I just can’t,” San muttered, unable to shake off the sudden pang of dread that came over him upon seeing the dart and from hearing the voice. His thoughts immediately went back to the road ahead and seeing that there wasn’t much distance left until he reached the top, his eyes and fingertips glowed. San jumped on to the side, his hands immediately boring holes into the rock with a faint crack as he climbed his way up, his feet then making use of the holes he made with his hands.
As soon as he reached the top, he saw a frozen pond, along with visibly empty tents and a broken down car. “Choi San!” He heard the voice call out to him again, and San whipped around, on alert of what may come at him from here. He could only feel the chill from the wind where he stood. 
“Gives you goosebumps, doesn’t it, the place where you came from, or, where you first ran away to.” 
San turned around. From the rocks appeared Taeyong, smirking. “Where am I?” He asked. 
“Ten thought we’d bring you back to a place familiar to you. We know more about you than you think, you know, and I didn’t even need to read your mind to know what’s happened to you before you uh, found your sister.” 
“I don’t have anything to prove to you, if you know what I’ve been through then you know what I’ve been through,” San said. “If you’re trying to get into my head right now, you’re not doing a very good job.” 
“Oh really?” Taeyong raised a brow. 
“Yeah,” San was smirking. “For instance, you probably don’t know the exact details of what happened in this place.” 
“You are insulting my intelligence,” His expression stiffened. 
“Good, because that means you really don’t know,” San reached into his pocket. 
“If you’re thinking of trying to kill me, think again,” Taeyong pointed to his temple. “Then again, it might be fun to see you try.” 
“Why don’t we try it then?” San grinned, quickly ducking out of the way when he saw shards of ice go his direction, crashing into the nearby trees. He kept running, skidding against the snow to kick the powdery ice into the psychic’s face, catching him off guard and making him fall over. “What’s the matter? Can’t keep up?” He taunted, picking up the buried chain he remembered close to the car, cracking the string of metal like a whip towards him. 
Taeyong kept backing away, sending the car up from its place and towards him. San’s eyes glowed bright as he whipped the vehicle away and making it fall to the ground, the car overheating as it fell back close to the edge of where they stood. 
Taeyong dismantled the tent, revealing what else was inside, the poles used to hold it up charging towards him. San whipped the metal poles away, catching one in time. “You’re being quite generous,” San grinned, striking the ground with the pole and sending a wave of energy. Taeyong fell over, turning into his diamond form. 
“You’re leaving me with no choice,” He said, getting back up and charging towards San, who quickly moved to wrap the chain around his neck, tugging on it tightly.
“You underestimate me. You forget to realize I am Mirae’s brother. I learned a few things from her,” San kept his hold on the psychic’s neck, squeezing the chains tied around him tightly. “Go ahead and turn back to normal, I dare you.” 
Taeyong coughed and sputtered while San kept his hold on the chains, until he burst into laughter. “Go ahead and try and kill me, my brother’s going to come after you.” 
“I’ll take that chance,” San’s eyes were still glowing and he pushed Taeyong back, the chains still on his neck as it exploded. He tossed a black disk he found in his pocket towards the explosion quick enough to whistle, the explosion growing bigger until it dissipated, with the psychic’s body on the ground. Or at least, remnants of him in his human form. San figured he tried to change back when he let go of the chain only to be met with the explosive disk he threw.  
The ground under his feet began to rumble, and San looked up, sensing the presence of more snow coming from above. The layer of snow from the peak of the mountain where he was broke off and began to slide downhill, towards where he was. San picked up the fabric used for the tent, smirking to himself at the items that he saw came from under it and jumped off the edge, using the fabric to glide down the mountain and onto the forest below. 
The rumbling grew louder as he saw the avalanche had settled onto where he was earlier. San landed on the ground, stumbling as he hit the snow, looking back up from where he came from. All he had to figure out was how to get out of the place. He wondered where Yunho was, and where the rest of them were. He needed to run. 
From a distance, he heard someone yell, followed by a strong gust of wind coming from the north. The sky had turned cloudy, coupled with thunder and lightning. “Taeyong!” San heard a booming voice from the same place. 
“Must be Taeyong’s brother,” San muttered to himself as he kept running, seeing a clearing ahead. The closer he got, the more he saw where it led to. A harbor, only the ocean was an inky black. 
Mirae stared at the ruins of the school. Now that Ino had disappeared, she had been staring at the buildings that had disintegrated because of her powers. Destruction was all she seemed to think about now that she knew who to look for. She could hear Yunho’s thoughts, having encountered Ino as he was trapped in a village Ten had created. Ino was a coward no matter how much he’d deny it. 
If they wanted a monster, they would get a monster. 
“Mirae?” Hongjoong was standing close by. 
“My dear?” Yeosang had called as well. He groaned in his place, parts of his dark hair already turning white. “I need to feed, we’re running out of time. Project Apocalypse will be activated.” 
“Save it for when we see them again then,” Seonghwa pointed out. 
Mirae didn’t speak, and Wooyoung could tell what she was feeling. It made him step forward as well. “Mirae? I know you’re hurting, and I can tell how you’re feeling…” He tried to say it as carefully as possible. 
Her eyes were welling with tears. What am I without Hyuk? Without Chanyeol? Without Jihoon? Without Yunho? Without San? She thought, as she observed the cracks in the ground. “Like a monster,” She muttered. 
Wooyoung shook his head. “No. I know you feel like you’ve lost everyone you love, but I can tell you. I promise you, Mirae, you didn’t lose everyone-” 
“It’s so easy for you to say that, isn’t it?” Mirae glanced at him. 
“No, it’s not. Well, in a way, it is, but that’s not the point,” Wooyoung said. “I’ve sensed what is most likely going to happen, and we’ll get them back, Yunho and San.” 
Mirae looked down again, her eyes and fingertips glowing. Hongjoong exchanged looks with Wooyoung, and he approached her, the rest of them carefully following behind. “My dear, your shadowy friend is right,” Yeosang spoke. “I know how you feel.” 
“No you don’t,” Mirae shook her head, facing them. “You have no fucking idea how I feel right now.” 
“That’s fair, maybe we don’t,” Hongjoong said. “But Wooyoung’s point still stands. You didn’t lose everyone as much as they’re trying to make you think. You still have Yunho, you still have San, you still have executive Kang, whatever he is to you,” He turned to the vampiric-looking mutant, frowning slightly at the changes in his appearance. “You still have us too.” 
“We followed you here. Teamwork like ours, it’s not something that can just go away, we’ve all been through the same thing in that sanitarium, remember?” Seonghwa said. “Junhong is still here too. He’s waiting for us in the van right now. Mirae, you’re not as alone as you think you are, as they think you are. You still have us.” 
“Mirae, please,” Mingi’s expression fell.
“We, all of us, haven’t been together again for a while,” It was Jongho’s turn to speak. “We’d honestly still be lost if it weren’t for the three of you finding us again.” 
Yeosang put his hand on her shoulder, Mirae sensing the coldness of his touch even through her clothes. “For so long, I have pushed away so many people, thinking that this was the only way to survive. That was until I met you. All of us here are with you, my dear. Even your technology-affiliated friend who is waiting for us outside. We will get Yunho and San back, I promise you. I only ask that you not make the same mistake towards everyone else who has grown to care for you.”
“Come with us. Please,” Hongjoong said quietly. “...We need our leader back. Just like old times.” 
“I wish it was that simple,” Mirae said.
“And it is. It can be simple, my dear,” Yeosang said. “Come with us, my dear Mirae. I promise you, you have not lost everyone you love as much as they’re trying to make you think you have.” 
Mirae glanced at all of them, seeing how their expressions were all hopeful that maybe, just maybe, their words had gotten through to her. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she wasn’t feeling that bubbling anger inside her, as if it was slowly getting replaced by a feeling of calm that she couldn’t quite comprehend. The feeling of calm was similar to what she felt after that time Jihoon died, along with her adoptive parents.  
It made her think of them. It made her think of what Chanyeol and Hyuk would’ve done. A part of her wanted to stay angry, but another part of her, a bigger part of her, knew that Chanyeol and Hyuk would never want her to turn out the way she was acting right now. She knew not even Jihoon would be cheering for her with all the damage she had caused so far. It seemed to be a relief that not even her home, back in the city, was damaged yet at this point. 
“One of these days, we’ll do a mission again, just the three of us.”
“Yeah, someone needs to watch your back this time. You nearly got your powers taken away.” 
“Lee Mirae, you’re getting sappy.” 
“Even with the way things ended back then. I’m glad the three of us found each other.” 
Mirae closed her eyes, remembering the last conversations she had with them. Hot tears trickled down her face. “I really wish it was that simple,” She whispered. “I want them back.” 
Yeosang could only keep his hand on her shoulder, unsure of whether to go nearer but sensing that Hongjoong was already doing the same. “I know you do. Hyuk hyung, Chanyeol hyung, I know you want them back, but they're in a much better place now, don’t you think?”
“Just as much as I want them back too,” Mirae said, making the rest of them stare at her, realizing what she meant. 
Yunho stopped in his tracks as he stepped out of one dark place to another in the village he was in. He heard her thoughts, heard what was going on with her. A small smile played across his lips, realizing what she said, why she was reaching out to him at this time. She was back, at least it seemed like it. 
Yunho ran towards another shadowy alley, trying to teleport, picturing the abandoned school, only to end up in another alley just by seeing the colored kaftans hanging from the two-floored houses he was surrounded by. 
Before he could teleport again, Mark appeared and kicked him out of the alley. “Jeong Yunho is it?” He said, seeing Yunho slide down the road, a scratch evident in his face only for it to heal completely. “A fellow external, this is excellent.” 
“Yeah, what about it?” Yunho got back up on his feet. “You do know we can actually kill each other, right?” 
“I am very well aware. Yeosang’s already weakening, it’s your turn,” Mark kicked him again and disappeared, reappearing behind the taller and punching him. Yunho stumbled to the side but quickly got back up, figuring out where Mark would reappear next. 
Yunho smirked. “Two can play this game,” He closed his eyes, letting his instincts guide him on where the other male would reappear. Before he knew it, he reappeared in another alley, and in another, and another, realizing that the sky was getting dark. “Let’s play hide and seek then! You hide and I’ll seek!” He called out, teleporting from one spot to another, stopping at the empty fountain. 
“With pleasure,” Mark reappeared, only for the taller to grab him by the collar, both of them teleporting from one spot to another in the midst of their scuffle. Yunho kept his grip on Mark, punching him several times until kicking him, the two of them reappearing and landing on opposite directions. “We have all night, Yunho, give up already?” 
“I’m just getting started,” Yunho charged towards Mark, only to vanish halfway through the run, reappearing in a puff of black smoke behind the shorter, tackling him into a headlock. “Losing your touch already, old man?” He taunted, the shorter coughing and sputtering. “Try and teleport, I’m going with you all the way.” 
Mark groaned and sucker punched him, but Yunho kept his hold on him as they teleported from one place to another. “You realize while I’m here, the rest of my friends are already trying to activate Project Apocalypse as we speak,” He coughed, trying to break free but his strength was waning. 
“Trying, they’re only trying,” Yunho kept his hold. “You tell me where the hell am I and where San is and I might just let you live,” He threatened. “You should be familiar with what happened here, since all of you know things about me.” 
“That I am,” Mark sucker punched him again before trying to poke his eyes. Yunho ducked in time to throw him off, running into another shadowy part of the place and disappearing. “This is testing my patience,” He cracked his knuckles and reappeared inside what looked like the inside of a blockhouse that he knew was still within the village. 
Mark looked around, trying to sense a presence within the confined walls of the fortified space. “You really think Mirae’s going to go back to you?” He called out. “She’s far down the rabbit hole of her rage. But I am amazed that Yeosang got through to her more than her own boyfriend,” He said, removing the blankets and the sheets from the nearby beds. “Based from your thoughts and memories, she thought you were looking the other way. I can’t blame either of you, though. Both of you seem to be much better apart than you are together-” 
Yunho had reappeared behind him, kicking him before he could teleport and knocking him down, the taller quickly kicking his leg to keep him down. “You were saying?” He asked. “Get us out of here, why don’t you?” 
Mark smirked. “Bold of you to assume I will easily give in to that.” 
“Want to bet?” Yunho kicked his other leg down, hearing the bones crack. “You teleport, I teleport with you.” 
“Alright, alright,” Mark groaned, the pain in his legs still present as he faced the taller male. “It’s clear that we are evenly matched at the moment,” He crawled to his feet, only for Yunho to pull him back down by the ankle. 
“I don’t think it’s even at the moment,” Yunho kicked his leg down again, making him yelp in pain. “You’re going to take me to Mirae, and you’re going to bring San back, do you understand? But first, I need information.” 
“Do you really think torturing me is going to get me to tell you where Project Apocalypse is located?” Mark gave him a look. 
“We’re both immortals, we’ve got the rest of our never-ending lives, and we’ve got the time, you might as well tell me,” Yunho drove his foot further into Mark’s leg. “I’ve certainly got the time to break these bones over and over again.” 
“Alright! I will have to concede in this battle,” Mark spat. “If you had any knowledge in how plans like these work, you would’ve already figured out by now that the rest of the country will be seeing our entrance soon.” 
“Mhmm,” Yunho got the idea, but he still drove his foot down on Mark’s broken leg. “Where there?” 
“The city, where else? Seoul itself is about to see once more what happens when powerful mutants like ourselves can take power.”
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imagineaworlds · 3 years
Text
I Love You (Part Fifty-Seven) -- Aaron Hotchner
Written By: @desperately-bisexual
Request: None.
Warnings: SMUT!! Cursing. Unprotected sex. Wrap it before you tap it, ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary sibs. Dom/sub relationship. Mild edging. Impregnation kink. The reader does go by they/them pronouns, however, Hotch refers to them as female when saying “good girl”.
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader
Word Count: 8391
Timeline: A few days after part fifty-six.
Criminal Minds Discord Server
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November 2nd. Aaron Christopher Hotchner’s birthday only came a few days after Halloween, which just meant more sugar for the kids. Between the cookies on Halloween and the birthday cake on Hotch’s birthday, those kids were spoiled rotten. Not that I ever complained. I loved celebrating Hotch’s birthday, as much as he hated it, and I loved dedicating the whole day to him—again, even though he hated it. He disliked the idea of celebrating himself. Not to mention that celebrating his birthday just made him think of his mother, who was horrible to him, and that would lead him to remember his father, who was even worse. That was why over the past couple of years, I had been trying to turn that day into his day, and not his parents’. It was okay for him to be selfish. Aaron really struggled with thinking highly of himself, or even thinking anything about himself. He preferred the idea of just spending his time and energy on me, the kids, and work. Between all of that, there was hardly any time for himself. On his birthday, however, it was all about him, and I was going to make him love his birthday one of these days.
However, my plans seemed to be canon-balled in the side by my parents. They surprised me and Hotch with a call shortly after Halloween to let us know that they had decided to get back together, and that they had moved in together again. When I asked when this happened, my mom said a couple of months ago. So… they had been keeping that from me all this time? Them and Hotch with the fucking secrets. I let it slide, though, considering I always knew that they still loved each other and that they only split up in the first place because of work, but now that was all in the past. Now, they could just be them. In fact, that was why my parents called in the first place. They asked if they could have the kids for the day, and when I tried to argue that it was Hotch’s birthday so we wanted the kids home with us, my mom interrupted with: “Oh, perfect! We’ll take the kids for the day, then you guys can come over for a birthday dinner!”
Ugh…
The thing about my mom was that she was never really… there… when Elle and I were growing up. Because she worked for the CIA, she was gone a lot, the same way that Hotch and I were away from Scar and Jack so much. With her traveling so much, she hardly settled to do “motherly” things like learning to cook. Elle and I loved her dearly, okay. We did. But her cooking was like eating acid. For Hotch’s birthday, I was imagining something a little more special than battery acid. Yet, I couldn’t talk them out of it.
Hotch had sing-songed in my ear, “We’ll have the whole house to ourselves for the day…” which made me ultimately give in. Then, when I hung up on them, he said, “Who knows, maybe the kids’ll like your parents.”
I groaned. “Who ever likes their grandparents?”
“Celia and Ken are good people, baby. They’re fun, and they love you and Elle more than anything in the world. I’m sure they’ll be good with the kids.”
I squinted at him. “Fine.”
My dad picked up the kids early in the morning since he spent the night working at the Academy anyhow. They lived about an hour away from our house, so by the time they were gone, we only had lunch, the afternoon, and about an hour of the evening before we had to leave. What was supposed to be a day of fucking in every reasonable room of the house turned into us just staring at our bedroom ceiling, counting the minutes until we had to get ready. I was dreading dinner. Not only was the drive going to be unbearably long, but dinner itself was going to be complicated.
There were a thousand things from my past that Hotch didn’t know about, and I would’ve kept it that way, but knowing my parents, they were going to unknowingly spill the beans, and I was going to have to explain a thousand things after the fact. Great. I mean, it wasn’t that I was actively keeping it all a secret from him. It just never came up. I was sure that there was stuff in his own past that he didn’t bring up because he couldn’t remember at the time or because there was no point in mentioning it. But my parents were the embarrassing type. I thought that by dating an older guy, and kind of rushing our relationship, we could skip that whole “embarrassing dinner with the parents” spiel, yet there we were. Hence, why I was staring at the ceiling with him all day rather than running around the house naked.
While in the car, Hotch and I were extremely handsy with one another. He was trying to focus on the road, but I kept messing with his hair, or playing with the wedding ring on his finger as we held hands; meanwhile, he was kneading my thigh every so often, or caressing my cheek with his thumb, or brushing my hair out of my face. I wanted my attention to be on him. The whole day was supposed to be dedicated to him, yet I couldn’t think straight. Going home after years and years of not being there was just making me appreciate how far I had come, and now my mind was racing with memories, good and bad.
I had the love of my life, the job I always wanted, and I had an amazing, beautiful, nuclear family. My stepson loved me as his own mother. My daughter was perfect in every way. Just as I always anticipated, she lit up a room just with her very presence, and it was most obvious whenever she was around Reid or Morgan. My best friends, and one of them was the godfather of my child. My life was perfect. Going home, however, was just a reminder of a time when things weren’t perfect. I didn’t need that bringing me down right now.
“What’s wrong?” Hotch asked me when he took notice of how quiet I was.
I glanced over at him and sighed. “I love them, my parents. You know I do.”
“I know.”
“But I just don’t want to do this…”
“It’s too late.”
Silence hung in the air for another minute as I returned to deep thinking about what they could possibly say in front of Hotch that could upset either of us.
“What are you thinking about now?” he spoke up again.
“The past.”
He raised a brow. “Care to share with the class?”
I smiled and shuffled to face him. “Well, I was just thinking about how different I used to be before I joined the BAU and met you, and before we started dating. Even when we first started going out, we were so different than how we are now.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Not at all.” I rested my elbow on the arm rest between us and stared up at him. “I used to work a shitty desk job, only dreaming about being where I am today. I had no friends, I didn’t talk to my parents or my sister, I hated my job, I lived in a one bedroom apartment in the city, and I didn’t have anyone I loved or who loved me back. I was entirely alone. And then everything changed when I met Jason Gideon and I solved the Footpath Killer problem faster than anyone else. So, I joined the BAU, thinking ‘What have I got to lose?’. Joined the team, made a friend or two, reconnected with my sister, and met a guy who was… well… my boss. He wouldn't leave me alone unless I went with him to dinner.” I poked Hotch’s dimple lightly when he smiled in response to my joke.
We both knew that he hadn’t chased after me. He wanted to. He really, truly wanted to chase after me, but he kept his distance because he thought that it would protect me, spare the team confusion, and spare himself potential heartache. But, eventually, he budged, and he asked me out. And by budged, I mean that I forced his hand. But it was cute to think that he would’ve chased after me if things had been slightly different. Maybe if I didn’t join the BAU, the chase would’ve happened naturally. Or maybe we would’ve continued staring and smiling at each other from a distance and nothing would ever happen because we were both cowards who didn’t know how to jump headfirst into a real relationship since we had been hurt one too many times before.
“And I guess he was cute, and I guess he was sweet…” I leaned in close and whispered in his ear, “And I guess he was good in bed…”
Hotch turned quickly and pressed a kiss to my lips before I could pull away from him. I smiled and pushed him back. “Tease,” he muttered under his breath.
“Shh,” I insisted. “I’m telling a story.” I sat back in my seat, swinging my legs over the arm rest between us so that my feet were on his thigh.
“That’s dangerous,” he warned.
“I trust you. Now, my story.” I hummed to myself, thinking about where I left off. “I gave up my life for a better part of a year for him and our relationship. So, I'm starting to think that this maybe might work, and the second it entered my head, he starts lying to me—”
“I didn’t lie—”
“No? What would you call what you did in Cincinnati, then?” I raised a playful brow. Hotch didn’t respond. He only licked his teeth and fell silent again so that I could continue my story. “Anyhow, he starts lying to me, yet I can’t stop thinking to myself that he’s the one, that I love him more than anything, and I’d die without him.” Hotch tore one of his hands off the wheel so that he could run his thumb over the inside of my left ankle. “And I know that I love him the way he is— even when he thinks that lying to me is the right thing to do.” Hotch squeezed my calf lightly to warn me away from accusing him of lying again. “I wanted to tell him, ‘You don't have to always be there; you don't have to change your habits… Just love me. You don't have to put the seat down; you don't have to eat avocado toast; you don't have to change a thing— Just stay with me.’ So, I try to tell him, ‘I want you— nothing but you.’ Because you take me in your arms, and suddenly everything in my life makes sense. For a moment, I forget just how dark and cold the world can get. It feels like my life led right to your side and will keep me there from now on.” I leaned forward again, pressing my palm against his cheek. He continued to watch the road, though I knew he was desperate to look at me, too. “Now I wanna hold you close— I don't ever wanna have to let you go. I don't wanna go back to the lonely life. Can we do that?”
Hotch moved to kiss my palm. “Of course.”
“Listen, when we get to my house, take a look at that town, take a look at how far I've come. I will never go back, never look back anymore. Everything bad that happened in my life stems from that place. I was missing what was perfect in my life—you and our family—but now I have you, and I never, ever want to let that go. Does that make sense?”
Hotch shrugged.
I brushed his hair back out of his face. I needed him to understand exactly what I meant, so I had to put it into terms that he could understand. “Just think about what you wanted. Think about what could be. Think about how I love you. Think of what's great about me and you. Think of the bullshit we've both been through. Think about how we’ve come so far together, and how we’ve overcome every single obstacle, no matter how tough they seemed at times. That’s not by chance, Aaron.” I gently curled my fingers around a fistful of his hair. “That’s effort that my parents never put in. That’s learning from our experiences—learning from where we came from and choosing to be better. Going back to my hometown and seeing my old life is like taking steps back on Candyland—” He chuckled at my simile. “I’m serious!” He shook off his laugh as we turned into my neighborhood and he started looking at the house numbers to figure out which one was mine. “You can’t let me stay here,” I said once I saw it at the end of the cul-de-sac. “Please, Aaron.”
“You’re being a little overdramatic, baby girl.”
“Just wait.”
I knew that once he would spend the evening with my parents, learning about my past and how spoiled and annoying I was as a kid, he would understand what I meant. I never thought in a million years I would be back there. I never thought that my parents would somehow manage to convince me to come back. Yet, as Hotch pulled into the driveway, I realized just how fucked this was.
“Mom! Dad!”
I looked over my shoulder and out my window to see Jack and Scarlet running out of the house, speeding onto the front lawn, and dashing towards our car. I smiled lightly. At least I had them. My little man and my lil’ bug. They made this trip worth it, and the upcoming dinner was going to be unbearable, but I could just hold Scarlet in my arms if I ever got upset or bored, and I would feel at home again.
Did Hotch realize how grateful I was? I mean, to be honest, I did most of the work, but the beginning was a team effort… if you catch my drift. I was so thankful that he gave me my lil’ bug Scarlet, and that he looked after us shortly after she was born, and that he was so hands on with her. I mean, he was close with Jack. He dedicated everything to his son when he was born, and even more so after Haley’s death; but Hotch was vastly different with Scarlet. With Jack, there was a level of protection that he had because of Foyet; because he didn’t want Jack to experience anything traumatic ever again. On the other hand, Scarlet hadn’t been through anything yet, and Hotch was working tirelessly to make sure it stayed that way. I would say that Scarlet was a daddy’s girl, too, which only encouraged Hotch to coddle her. I didn’t care anymore. It used to irk me that he was too overbearing with her, but since our lives had continued to turn upside down because of work, I actually appreciated Hotch’s caution with our daughter. Jack had been hurt once before, and between Hotch and I, we had been hurt over a hundred times—if I were being generous. At the very least, as her parents, we could protect Scarlet from ever enduring what the three of us had.
I swung my feet off of Hotch’s thighs so that we could both get out of the car. As I opened my door, Jack immediately jumped up, his arms sprawled so that I could catch him. I laughed as I barely made it on time. “Oh, boy!” I groaned while standing and hugging him tightly.
He was too big now to lift, and it pissed me off, but what was I supposed to do? Hurt my back more just to try to pick him up? No… As much as I missed holding him on my hip and hugging him so tight that neither of us could breathe, trying to lift him now would have been futile and simply hurtful for the two of us.
“Daddy!” Scarlet cheered as she jumped into Hotch’s arms. Like I said, daddy’s girl.
He kissed her cheeks over and over again until she pushed him away because it tickled too much. “How was your day, Ms. Scarlet?”
She poked at his cheekbones. “Good. Grandpa and Grandma played soccer with us.”
“Did you win?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s not true!” Jack argued. “I won!”
I kissed his hair. “I’m sure you did, little man.”
“How was the drive?” Dad asked as he and Mom came to meet us outside, too. Hotch and I turned to face them. We told them that it was long, but nice. “Did ya work up an appetite?”
“Dad—”
“You know it,” Hotch answered over me, sending me a quick glance that begged that I would be polite.
“Good. Good.” Dad patted Hotch on the back before ushering us inside. “Celia’s been cooking up a storm all day. Hope you like steak.”
“Nothing sounds better.”
----
Dinner was ready almost immediately. The family gathered in the dining room, the kids at the end so that they could draw in a coloring book that Scarlet brought with her while the adults talked on the other end. Hotch and I sat side by side, my parents across from us. This was the first time we had a chance to talk with my parents since the wedding nearly three years ago. Not that the distance was on purpose. It was just that we never had the chance to sit down like this ever. The first time they met Hotch was practically just after he proposed, but then we were called away to work. It happened like that every time. Our jobs called us out to different states all the time, my mom’s job called her out to different countries, and my dad’s job required him to be at the Academy practically 24/7. It was a miracle that we could get all four of us in the same room for Hotch’s birthday.
Not that I necessarily saw it as a miracle. Considering we had never done this before, like I said, so therefore, Hotch never really got to know them, and vice versa. What were we supposed to do if they ended up hating them? I knew I was bitching about this all day, but that was only because I was nervous. If this went awry, I wouldn’t be able to choose between my parents and my husband. I knew what my decision would be, but that was heartbreaking to even consider.
Hotch put a hand on my knee to stop it from bouncing anxiously. My attention snapped to him to see that he was sending me a look that asked if I was alright or if I needed a break. I sent him a look that said I was alright. I was just thinking… Again…
Dad cut through his slice of birthday cake that Mom made for after dinner while talking with Hotch about Cody, the Director of the FBI. For dinner, my mom made steak—which was edible—and mashed potatoes and green beans, which were there. She tried her best. Dessert was probably the best part. Hotch didn’t exactly like anything “unhealthy” since he liked to stay so fit for the field; but I made him try some of the cake on my plate, and once he did, he was convinced into having a slice of his own.
“Have you been in contact with anyone from your high school?” Mom asked me. “I heard there was some kind of class reunion a month or so ago.”
I chuckled behind my cup. “Who would I be in contact with?” I took a sip.
“I don’t know… Oh— What about Steven Teller?”
I nearly spat my drink out. “What—”
“You know! Steven!” Mom hit Dad’s shoulder, “Where did he end up going for college?”
Dad started thinking. “Hmm… Wasn’t it… Tulane?” He snapped in eureka. “Yes! That was it! Tulane. His dad told me after he graduated that he got a job working for some prestigious law firm.” My dad pointed at me, “You must have a thing for lawyers.”
Hotch leaned to the side, pulling me towards him somewhat. “Steven Teller? Isn’t that—”
I stopped him with a glare. When he fell silent, we both sat back up straight in our seats. I looked at my parents. “No, I haven’t talked to Steven. I haven’t talked to anyone. And, honestly, I don’t want to.”
“What about Tess—"
I cleared my throat. “It’s getting kind of late,” I said, checking my watch. “I want to show Aaron around before we leave. You know, brag about some old memories and stuff.”
My parents took note of the change in tone in my voice, and the way the room suddenly grew uncomfortable. They recognized that they touched some kind of nerve. They fucked up, though they weren’t sure how, and they weren’t going to pry or stop me from talking to Hotch about it all privately—which was clearly what I wanted to do. So, they let us go.
I grabbed Hotch’s hand and started pulling him towards the stairs. He hurried after me, trying to keep up with how fast I was leading him along, and even trying to tug back on me to get me to slow down, but I didn’t. We skipped up the steps and hurried down to the last room on the left. My bedroom. It hadn’t been touched or bothered since high school. It was so weird. It was like some kind of time capsule that should’ve been burned down years ago. This wasn’t who I was anymore. I had grown up so much since leaving home. Like I told Hotch, I left this place and I never looked back, and I was fine with how my life turned out. I just didn’t think my parents would keep mine and Elle’s rooms untouched like this— like they were shrines of a better past or something.
“Steven Teller. I know that name,” Hotch said, closing the door behind me. “It’s been churning in my head for six years, Y/N. How do your parents not know?”
“I’ve told you before, I didn’t tell anyone. And I’ve also told you before that I would’ve never told you or Elle if the Fisher King hadn’t let the cat out of the bag. He took pictures of it, Aaron, and then he used them to black mail me. How could I tell people that? I got those pictures back, I hid them away, and I left this place for as long as I could.”
Hotch stepped closer to me. He put his hands on my biceps and sighed. “I’d kill him if I could.”
George Foyet and the Hawai’i gang had seen up close and person how far Hotch was willing to go to get revenge on those who hurt his family. If Steven Teller were there in front of us, I had no doubts in my mind that Hotch would’ve been willing to get locked up just for the sake of putting him six feet underground.
“Remember, I told you to take a look at how far I’ve come. I told you to remember that this isn’t who I am anymore— that none of this matters to me now. What matters is being in your arms. Being with you helps me forget.” I reached up to hold his face in my hands. “It was so long ago. Aaron, I need you to believe me when I tell you that it doesn’t matter. I mean— I— It does matter… But I don’t let it define me. I don’t let it distract me from what makes me happy. You, Jack, and Scarlet make me happy. That’s all that matters. I don’t care about him. I don’t think about him. Every bad memory I have of him has been forgotten and replaced by my happy memories of you.”
Hotch wrapped his arms around my waist and he lifted me up slightly so that my toes were barely tangling over the carpet, but my face was even with his. He kissed me. After a moment, he set me back down on my feet and he let go of me.
“So, what was Y/N Greenaway into when they were in high school?” His change of topic caught me off guard, but I appreciated it. He knew that I didn’t want to talk about this because, to me, it didn’t fucking matter. And if it didn’t matter to me, it didn’t matter to him. What mattered was that I promised to show him around. He was in my old bedroom, and he wanted to finally get to know everything I never told him. “You have any fun stories to tell me about all of this?” he teased while spinning around to get a look at everything around him. He stopped when he noticed my box of vinyls. “If there isn’t a single good record in here, I’m leaving.”
I snickered. “Well, your definition of good music is definitely older than mine.”
He grinned at me while running a finger over the titles. “Are you calling me old right now?”
“Mhm.”
“I’m only one year older now, not ten.”
“Still old.”
He picked out one of the records. “Brat.” He admired the cover of A Night at the Opera by Queen. “So, this is where your love for Queen began. Who’s old now?”
“That record’s older than me.”
“So, you like old things, then. Who would’ve known?” he questioned sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and sat down on the bed. “Oh,” Hotch smiled to himself, “look what we have here.”
I watched as he reached for something at the bottom of my bookshelf. I cocked a brow, figuring that he was just grabbing an old kiddie book that we could take home for Scarlet, but what I saw in his hands when he turned around absolutely mortified me. “No—” I insisted quickly, pushing myself to my knees on the mattress. “Aaron Hotchner, you put that back!”
Hotch’s wicked smile brightened as he meandered over to the bed, flipping the book open to the front page. “I always wondered when I’d get the chance to see this.”
“Aaron—” I reached out, trying to swipe the book from him, but he caught my wrist and held me steady. “I swear—”
“Behave yourself,” he narrowed his eyes, still smiling, though. He released my hand, allowing me to sit back down obediently. As he turned to the next page, he sat down next to me so that I could watch what he was doing. “Do you remember how we went through my old yearbook the night you first told me you love me?” I was going to kill him, I swear. He had to know that I would do it, and I knew how to get away with it. “And you told me that I would never, ever get to see your yearbooks.” With that snide, calculated comment that was supposed to tease me, I tried to grab the book from him again, though I knew I shouldn’t have. “Look at you, you were adorable!” I tried again. “If you don’t stop that, I will tie you to the headboard.”
“I wasn’t adorable,” I told him as I gave up trying to take the yearbook away from him. “I was nerdy and dorky. Elle was always the cool one. She knew how to play the system so that she could be popular, meanwhile, I was just focused on getting to the Academy.”
“Sounds like a fun childhood,” he teased with sarcasm hiding behind his words.
“Hey!” I punched his arm lightly. “I had fun!”
“Mhm,” he nodded sarcastically. “Was that between studying and playing D&D, or was that after you volunteered at the senior center?” He pointed to all the different pictures of me on the community service pages. 
“I’ll have you know,” I grinned, recalling a memory that would definitely get under his skin, “that it happened after the homecoming game junior year.”
He looked up at me with wide, shocked, yet still angry eyes, just as I predicted. “Please tell me it wasn’t in his car, at least.”
“Her bedroom,” I corrected. “She lived just a block away from the school, so we snuck out of the game and walked to her place. Elle never even knew I was gone.”
Hotch’s eyes dilated slightly as his mind raced with every possibility of what happened that night. “And what about your room?” he asked while looking around in order to avoid eye contact with me so that he was harder to profile.
“Her birthday the following week,” I answered, now using the same kind of smirk that he had plastered to his face only moments ago. He thought that he could get to me by looking through the yearbook and stirring up old memories, but what he failed to recognize was that I would do anything to get the upper hand on this situation again.
Hotch cleared his throat as he turned another page of the yearbook. “Oh, look!” He was trying to change the subject again, despite how obvious it was that he was thinking about what happened on that bed in high school. “It’s a picture of you and Elle.” He turned the book slightly towards me again, but I didn’t look down at it.
I leaned against him, shifting around on my knees as I got closer. When my hand brushed against his pants, Hotch cleared his throat again and nearly slammed the book shut, yet he still managed to somehow hold together his composure. “You know,” I whispered into his ear, “birthday sex is a lot of fun.”
“Was this your move in high school?” he asked me with a raspy, breathless tone.
I knew I got him, now it was just a matter of breaking him. “No.” I shook my head. “This was.” I grabbed the book, knowing that he wasn’t paying attention to it anymore, and I threw it to the floor. His hands were desperate to hold onto something now, so they immediately found my hips as I straddled him. “And then it went a little something like this…” I whispered in his ear as I started slowly unbuttoning his shirt.
“Your parents are downstairs,” he whispered back.
“Just like high school.” I smiled.
He laughed as he leaned in to kiss me. “You would have been bad news for me back in high school, Y/N.”
“I’m still bad news for you.” I finally got his shirt open and I quickly pushed it off his arms. His arms snaked around my waist once they were free of his blue silk shirt. “You remember Valentine’s?” He nodded before pulling me in for another kiss. I pushed him away. “Round two?”
He shook his head. “I just want you. Please.”
“Whatever the birthday boy wants…”
Hotch moaned as I lowered my hips, grinding my panties against his trousers. When he was least expecting it, I parted from our endless kisses and pushed a hand to his chest with enough force to give him the idea that he should lay back on the width of the bed. Hotch listened, his arms falling from hugging me to grabbing my hips as he laid back calmly. He stared up at me with his brown eyes dilated that were turning pure black with lust. He licked his lips, trying to forget about how nice it was to kiss me and how he wanted to do it again.
I used my hand on his chest to balance myself as I dragged my hips up towards his chest slowly, feeling the outline of his erection passing over my covered slit. As I pushed myself back down, I felt his tip hit my clit, both of us letting out an unexpected moan in response.
When I realized what happened, I put my other hand over his mouth. “You have to be quiet,” I whispered, moving my hips forwards and backwards against him. He groaned against my hand, the vibrations of his pleasure running through my hand before coursing through the rest of my body.
“Fuck me,” he begged against my hand.
I sat up entirely, moving down his thighs somewhat so that I could fidget with his pants. He groaned quietly every time my fingers accidentally passed over his throbbing length as I struggled to get his pants off as fast as possible. I wanted him just as badly as he wanted me, and there was only so much time we had before my parents or Jack would come looking for us. All I knew was that I wanted to fuck him and call him mine for his birthday.
We worked together to discard the rest of our clothes. While I fidgeted with his pants, his hands crumbled up the skirt of my dress, and he made a move to lift it over my head, but while he was still laying under me, he couldn’t make the aggressive move he wanted. So, he had to wait. I pulled his belt out of all of the loops, then tossed it to the side. Without hesitation, I undid his pants, my palms brushing over his erection so often he was moaning and bucking. I lifted my hips so that I could push down his pants and underwear to his ankles, and when I sat back down, I made sure that I was right over his erection.
“Baby, please. Your dress.” He tugged at the skirt of it lightly. I nodded, raising my arms over my head. He whimpered a “thank you” and sat up slightly so that he could pull my dress off my body entirely, and afterwards, he unclasped my bra with expertise. “So precious, baby girl…” he exhaled through his nose lightly before kissing my bra strap. As my fingers tangled themselves in his hair and pulled, Hotch’s cold fingers slowly started pushing my bra straps off my shoulders. The more my bra fell, the more he kissed my bare body, making his way down to my nipples. “I love you,” he whispered to me as my bra fell to the floor and he wrapped his lips around my left nipple.
I moaned, throwing my head back. “I love you, too.”
He released my left nipple and slowly went to suck on the other one, making my stomach twist in pleasure. While he was preoccupied and I was desperate for him, I reached between us so that I could take his length in my hand. He hissed quietly. When I bucked my hips up slightly, running my clothed slit up every inch of him, I felt him twitch in my hand with excitement. He wanted me, of course. I wanted him, too, but this was all about pleasing him. I was going to take my time making sure that he was served and happy.
Hotch nibbled on my nipple gently when I ran my thumb over his tip. I heard him whimper a few quiet times. So, I did it again. He released my nipple so that he could moan into my chest. I smirked and did it again.
“Baby, please—” he gasped breathlessly. “Just fuck me. Please.”
“You wanna cum for me?” I asked him before kissing his hair.
He nodded. “Yes. Please. Fuck—”
As I lifted my hips, Hotch reached between us to push my panties to the side. “Do you want to cum in me?” I teased his tip at my entrance.
“Baby girl, I want to fill you so bad…” He tried pushing my hips down, but I held steady. “You—” He gasped against my shoulder as I rolled my hips slightly. “You promised— For my—For my birthday—”
“I know, baby,” I whispered. “I know.” I just loved hearing his pleas and whimpers too much to not pry them out of him. But now that he had given himself to me and his whimpers blessed my ears, I could finally give in for him. “I’m sorry.” I started lowering myself onto every inch of him. We both let out quiet moans that filled the room. Hotch wrapped his arms around my entire body, pressing my chest against his. “I love you.”
“I love you—” He groaned and threw his head back as I settled at the base of his cock. “You treat me so well, baby girl. Thank you.”
“Shhh…” I cooed. “Fuck…”
As I started rolling my hips around him and slowly moving up and down his length, I felt myself get more worked up, encouraging me to only go faster and harder. We held each other close as I did so. He was so hard, every inch of him was throbbing inside of me, hitting exactly where I needed him most. But then there was the added stimulation of my clit grinding on his pubic bone. It made me melt.
“I fucking love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too.”
Slowly, but surely, my back started to tense up. The muscle that had been injured the worst during the bank explosion over a year ago was starting to act up again, which wasn’t unusual in these cases. For the most part, I was healed since then, to the point that I could participate in cases in the field without issue, and Hotch and I could have intense scenes with only minimal aches. But from time to time, I would feel it to the point that it felt like my back was screaming at me: “Please, do anything else but this!” So, I gave in. I listened to the way my body was angry at me, and I tried to shift around somewhat to calm down, but it wasn’t working.
“You okay?” Hotch asked after noticing how my pace had slowed.
I nodded slightly before cringing again. “My back…” I finally admitted. This was the worst fucking time for it to hurt. “I’m sorry, baby.”
He shook his head and sat up. “Don’t be.” He hugged me and stood, giving me time to wrap my legs around his waist. We moaned into each other’s mouths in response to the way he moved inside of me. He turned around and started carefully laying me on the bed with him still buried inside me.
“That’s a talent,” I mumbled against his lips. He chuckled. “I like being under you better, anyhow.”
Hotch leaned up to stop me from continuing my endless string of kisses. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
I nodded and bucked my hips up to encourage him. Hotch caught the hint, so he planted his feet on the ground and slowly started pulling his length out of me. When his tip was all I had inside of me, we kissed, then he thrust into me with a little more power. I moaned loudly. Hotch quickly put his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. I pressed a kiss against his palm to let him know that I understood that I had to be quiet, but he didn’t release me because now he was on top, and my mild bratty attitude hadn’t gone unnoticed by him. He was in Dom space now. I could see it in his eyes. Melting in with the lust and love that filled his dark eyes was a red tint that screamed: “You’re mine.” And I loved it. I loved it and I let that tint put me in my place.
He snapped his hips back and forth again a few more times. With every thrust that passed, he increased his speed and power to the point that I was a moaning mess under his hand. Everything was so muffled, but he understood that I would’ve been screaming for him if I could. I loved him. I loved how he fit in me perfectly—that it didn’t matter that we had been together nearly six years because I was still so tight for him and only him. I was his. He was mine. We were us, and that was what mattered. Being back at home, reliving a few bad memories, talking about some people I would’ve rather forget about, none of that mattered while he was towering over me.
He leaned in close and let out a shuddered breath in my ear because he was close to moaning loudly, too. “I’m gonna cum,” he warned. I nodded against his hand, letting him know that I was close, too. “Fuck…” He started attacking my neck with his lips, leaving a mild hickey that hopefully wouldn’t start forming until we were gone. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—” There was his tell. “Y/N—” Before he could say anything else, my walls tightened around him as I tipped over the edge, encouraging him to cum, too. “Fuck!” he hissed against my skin.
“Sir,” I moaned against his hand. I bucked my hips to make sure both of us worked out our entire orgasms before slowing down and giving up. “Shit…” I slumped back, my body going limp.
He slowly pulled out of me and removed his hand from my mouth. ��You okay?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Your back?”
“I’m okay, baby, I promise.” I patted his chest. “Happy birthday, my love.”
“Thank you.” He sat up by pushing his hands on my hips, then he let go of me so that he could pull his pants up. “I don’t think we can use a towel…” he joked.
I rolled my eyes at him. “Ha. Ha.”
“Where the fuck did you throw my shirt?” he questioned while spinning in a circle to try and spot it. I giggled and reached over my head to retrieve it from the floor. I threw it at his face. “Brat,” he hissed after catching it. I smirked.
Hotch held his hand out for me, and when I took it, he carefully helped me up, keeping his eye on me to make sure that I wouldn’t break. I was still a bit sore, but it was manageable. I figured that since he was right about the towel thing, I’d have to make my way to the bathroom down the hall, and I would just grab a Motrin or something there, too.
After Hotch slid his arms back through his dark dress shirt, he moved to start buttoning it up, but I beat him to it by shooing his hands away and grabbing ahold of the hem of his shirt. As I reached the top button, my pinkie passed over the purple mark I made on his neck that was getting more and more obvious as the seconds flew by. I blushed and looked away. Hotch chuckled and lifted my chin by trapping it between his thumb and his curled index finger. My gaze met his again.
“Are you shy, baby?”
I nodded. He grinned and gripped my jaw hard. I gulped before biting my lip and feeling the way my legs gave out somewhat.
“Why, though? Weren’t you the one to mark Sir?”
I whimpered. “Yes, Sir.”
He brought me close to his lips, then lingered for a second, as if he were daring me to act out by kissing him quickly, but I obeyed by waiting. Maybe five years ago I would have given in, but now… with my parents and the kids downstairs… There wasn’t really any time, and our priorities were different. So, I waited for him to kiss me first. He smirked at my compliance, then slowly leaned in to press his lips against mine, barely even touching me at all before he pulled away.
“We should head home,” he whispered.
I whimpered. “I hate you…”
He grabbed my jaw harder. “Go clean yourself up.” He kissed me again, this time a little more passionately, then he turned to walk out and start wrangling the kids downstairs.
I let out a shaky breath as the room fell silent again. That was certainly one way to celebrate…
Once I cleaned myself up in the bathroom, downed a pain killer, then got dressed, I headed downstairs to see Hotch holding a passed out Scarlet in his arms. She was resting her chin on his shoulder while sucking on her thumb—a habit I thought we kicked about six months ago. Jack, on the other hand, was sitting on the floor in the living room while playing with Red and some of his other favorite toys. As I passed him, I kissed the top of his head. I asked if he was ready to go yet, and he nodded. I could tell that he was getting tired, and I knew that by the time we had him and Scar loaded up in the car, the two of them would be dead asleep for the whole drive home.
“Alright,” I began wrapping up the conversation Hotch was having with my parents, “I think it’s time to get them home.” Hotch agreed shortly before my parents gave in. “Thank you, guys, for looking after them today.”
“They were perfect,” my dad said.
“We’d love to have them back soon,” my mom added.
Please, no, I thought to myself, even though I was smiling and conceding. Hotch stood with Scarlet in his arms, and I kissed her temple while petting her hair. It was a miracle she lasted this long. I honestly thought that she was either going to pass out before dessert, or that dessert was going to give her a sugar high that would keep her up for the rest of the night. However, I had not anticipated that she would eat dessert and still be exhausted. I guess we got lucky.
“Oh, wait, I almost forgot!” Mom jumped to her feet and ran to the kitchen to grab something. I prayed that it wasn’t leftovers. When she returned, she was holding a wrapped gift in her hands. “Ken and I got this for you, Aaron.” She held it out for him.
Since his hands were full, he couldn’t necessarily accept it, so I offered to take Scarlet from him carefully to make sure that she wouldn’t wake up. When his hands were free, he took the gift. I watched as he eyed me for a second before starting to unwrap it.
“You guys didn’t have to do this,” he insisted politely. My mom and dad shook their heads like it was no big deal. As the wrapping fell apart, he found a black leather box in his hands. He found the zipper on the side and pulled it open. Hotch chuckled to himself. “You guys seriously didn’t have to do this.”
I peeked over his shoulder to see what it was that they got for him. It was a fancy travel-size shaving kit. It had an electric shaver, with the charging chord, it had a handheld shaver in case there was no plug-in sight, it had a full tube of shaving cream, moisturizer, aftershave, and so on. It was completely unnecessary. Like, ostentatious for no fucking reason. I almost wanted to chuckle, but it would’ve been rude, so I bit my lip and held back the urge.
“We know what it’s like to have to travel all the time for your job, so we just wanted to make sure you had a way to make sure that beard of yours never grows back,” my dad joked.
I finally let out a chuckle. “I miss the beard.”
“I don’t,” Hotch said, smiling. “Thank you both,” he said to them while zipping up the kit. “It means a lot.”
“Can we go home now?” Jack questioned, slowly stumbling into the room, rubbing his eyes with his fists.
“Yeah, buddy. You wanna say goodnight to Grandma and Grandpa?”
Jack shuffled another few steps towards my parents, and he hugged their hips lightly. After they hugged him back, he meandered towards his dad who kneeled down to let Jack crawl onto his back to carry him the same way JJ liked to carry Henry. Jack slumped against Hotch. He flung his arms around his dad’s neck and trapped his legs around his waist. When he was steady, Hotch stood up straight.
“Seriously, thank you both for tonight. We had a lovely time,” Hotch said to my parents.
“We’ll call you guys in a couple of days to see if you want to do this again,” I offered. Scarlet started fussing in my arms. “Okay, okay, we’re going.” Hotch and I slowly started making our way to the front door. Dad skipped around us so that he could hold the door open for us since we were a little pre-occupied. “I love you,” I said while passing him and kissing his cheek. He kissed mine, too.
“Drive safe,” he begged.
“We will.”
Hotch headed down the front steps, then turned to make sure I could navigate them safely while not being able to see around Scarlet. When I made it down, we walked side by side to the car. Since Scarlet was certainly smaller than Jack, I was able to balance her in one arm long enough to open the backseat to put her down and buckle her in quietly, then run around to the other side to help Hotch get Jack in since he passed out on our way to the car, too. When they were settled, I chuckled. They were still so young and innocent. I almost envied their ability to fall asleep so quickly and in such uncomfortable positions.
Hotch sighed and snaked his arms around my waist. “I love you.”
I rested my head back on his shoulder. “I love you, too.” I slowly spun around. “Happy birthday, baby.”
He kissed me. “Probably my best birthday yet.”
“Suck up.”
“I try.” He kissed me again until we both melted and smiled against each other’s lips.
-----
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