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#& i think abt it every day bc same.
skitskatdacat63 · 3 months
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Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)
- explanation & w/o text:
Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!
First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.
Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.
Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.
Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.
About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.
I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")
I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.
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#ah well this was certainly a project....#rn i feel like im devolving into illness so im glad i could finish this up before it possibly gets worse#this is my magnum opus as of rn. just bcs ive not really drawn such a longform thing for them!! happy w it :)#i think i def like the first one the best#it made me suffer so bad but i think i soften on my own art after a few days#like i finish it and know its 'good' but cant help but critique every little thing#but ive had that one done for almost a week so now i look at it and really love it#i was originally just going to draw that one only but then realized i really like the full dialog so. might as well.#generally i liked this though bcs even if it ws difficult. it was nice to have really direct and clear reference#like ah ik where im going w this rather than it being an image in my head that i cant represent the way that I want#ah anyways all my vettonso aus tend to be just wanting to explore specific dynamics of theirs#and this one is basically how i feel about their mutual relationship to the institution of ferrari and how it affects their dynamic#basically: THEY'RE MIRRORS!!!#there's always something to be said abt nando being resentful abt seb bcs of 2010/2012/etc and then seb taking his seat at ferrari#but then witnessing seb basically go thru the same trials and tribulations and failures at ferrari#and realizing huh wait maybe he's not who i was villianizing him as. maybe hes at my level too. maybe he's not infallible. maybe hes like m#a very bitter nando who has to fight btwn his impulse to ruin seb further or to relate to him and start to like him#so yeah that's ^ basically what i want to portray in this au(just like all AUs tbh)#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.rambling.txt#catie.art.#vettonso#bond.vettonso.
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barghest-land · 7 months
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the concept of dating scares me, what do u mean u met somewhere other than in the server of the dinosaur survival game
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lanternlightss · 2 months
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looking back at posts and its so fun seeing exactly which two characters in genshin i was hyperfixated on and that even after like three years it has not changed Once 😭
venti and nameless bard have me wrapped around their fingers istg
#SINCE 2021 !!!!!!!!!!#i think about how much they love each other how much venti seems to idolize the bard to the point that he might seem to be on the same#divinity level as ven is#i think about that ven has carefully guided the citizens of mond to the same values that bard and the rest of old mond wanted it to be#i think about ven never changing his form to keep his friends memory alive even after /two millennia/ of seeing the face you can never get#back in the mirror every day#i think about ven holding his own hands together and pretending for a moment that its someone else holding his#i think !!!!!! about what would happen if the bard had ever perished. if ven would be severely protective and i dare you. try to lay a hand#on a single hair. he has gone through so much and i refuse to let anything take away what he deserves to see#i think about the bard catching the wind as easily as breathing simply bc its not truly “caught”#the wind is simply ever so fond of them that they will not go anywhere else for too long#i think about. the bard cradling a wisp so gently every night that even now warmth seeps in through ventis hand if he pretends enough#i think about a ghost bard who never leaves vens side. who had promised always whenever they departed thatd he leave something for venti to#know hes still there#i think about a bard who breaks down ventis walls with a single tap#bc they know each other as well as they do themselves#i think abt a bard who gently relearns a ven he hasn’t met#i think abt a bard who is angry and spiteful and spitting at the world softening around the wisp who shows nothing but kindness#i think about a bard recognizing ven by a small breeze alone#and i#i simply go bonkers over them you see#lantern says stuff
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otomates · 1 month
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anw this is ur monthly reminder that cardia and germain are otome royalty they told god they would actually whole ass end the world if they weren't allowed to be together. cardia is so iconic she was like u know what i WILL commit genocide on the human race if you stab my boyfriend one more time, watch this
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loopydloper · 1 year
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I slept till 5pm and am now suffering the consequences womp womp
#drawing homestuck instead of sleeping becuase thid is the most energized ive been all day#also. cant sleep bc i dont have any weed and i know thats a dumb reason but when i smoke b4 bed i fall asleep instantly and have fire dreams#actually speaking of dreams i dont think i will ever b able to lucid drea#like no matter what happeds in my dreams i just except it as normal.#i had a dream the other night where my dog whos been dead for 8 years was with me in florida and i didnt think twice abt it#this has nothing to do with dreams but ive been thinking abt tsking a t break from weed#but i googled how long a t break should b n it said 21 days and i genuinely dont think ive gone 21 days w/o smoking for probably over a year#i knkw that sounds bad but its kinda just a combination of never needing to stop for more then like a week or 2. n also just not wanting 2#also not smoking fucks up my poop schedule#do other peopel have poop schedules???#its not like a real schedule. i just eat at the same times pretty much every day so like. i shit at the same times to#a mans poop schedules is not something to b tampered with#no one talks about how wonderful taking a shit it. i can b having a horrible day and then i shit and my mood improves exponentially#i genuinely feel bad for anyone reading the tags. if anyone dies#*does#but if ur seeing this its bc ur follow me. so its pretty much ur own doing that ur reading abt my poop schedual rn#holy shit i havnt even actually tagged this yet#my art#rose lalonde#kanaya#kanaya mayram#terezi#terezi pyrope#nepeta#nepeta leijon#jade Harley#hs#homestuck#homestuck2023#FUCK I HAVE TO WRITE AN ESSAY RN
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homingpigecns · 6 months
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this is like a sadgirl pathetic post but this guy i met recently at work was like, very direct and polite in being interested in me and i've been feeling him out bc i literally do not know him well enough to have an opinion but i can't like. he is so normal and nice. hes like a nice normal guy. every time i text him he doesn't say anything weird and he's extremely nice. what the hell. he's literally so nice. WHY. does he like. me???? like what's wrong with him that he specifically is interested in me????
#this is not even a low self esteem thing but shdhsbdhsdh every girl in the world is so pretty . me??? why?????#literally the day i met him & he asked me out i barely spoke to him was mind numbingly stupid and crawled on the floor on multiple occasion#i cant text this guy bc every time i have to answer im like. this guy is so fucking normal. me??? hes interested in me???? WHY????#everyome i try to convey this to is like :// aww he thinks ur cute. stop overthinking. WHATS WRONG WITH HIM#he specifically asked me out by asking the relief nurse what my name was and she offered to give him my number if i was ok w it#I WAS AT WORK..... I JUST SAID YES...... and i was like ok this probably will not go anywhere. he probably wont even text me#he texted me while i was commuting home literally he was still doing cases........#did i mention i was digging through garbage. literally he was like sorry the surgeon yelled at u she gets so flustered and ir was like no#she yelled at me bc im stupid. did u not notice that im stupid. this guy -- NORMAL -- literally saw me at my lowest and asked me out......#brandon oscillates#brandon what abt the guy at work u had a thing for I KNOW. im so torn however sjsbdbdhdbbx we are like actually coworkers#this guy if i see him every now and then in passing occasionally in the same room. that guy is my coworker for real#it cant happen. also dbxshsdhshdhe he has a 9 yr old hes too old for me. idk his relationship status but i dont think hes married.#also hes out of my league. also my other coworker told me he thinks hes gay but that hes closeted but that coworker is filipino so#mildly homophobic. i also told him to never tell anyone else that. i dont think hes gay. whatever.#i will miss my impossible crush as my hobby but this guy is nice and ahdhs its psychopathic to give him my number and then reject his date#can u imagine#whatever. im doing high school now i guess. the relief nurse is sooo proud of herself#shdbbd literally when i came back from lunch that day my scrub was like THE DOCTOR LIKES U!!!#and i was lkke omg really??? she doesnt think im stupid???? but it was this guy. and she did still think i was stupid#u know i have concert tickets for next thursday but shdhsd i literally have had too many experiences this year#i am trying to sell tgem#personal
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k1rishiki · 2 months
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oh yeah. the reason why i decided to reread tbhk (and thus it was able to hit me like a truck this time around) was actually not bc of mitsukou going canon but actually bc i maybe accidentally started a tbhk book club w my kids at work and wanted to check the contents of it justttt in case before i put the books in their hands
#tl;dr i have this one 4th grade boy who's a total weeb and knows that i'm the only one in this town who's more into japanese media than him#so he pesters me abt it every time he sees me. and the thing abt this kid is that he gets bored easily and if he does he turns into a#complete menace. now a couple weeks ago. he shows up at the program w one piece volume one and spends the entire time he's there peacefully#reading and not causing any problems on purpose. my coworker owen (the one who climbed onto the roof) and i were shocked and in awe of how#peaceful he was being and came to the conclusion that he NEEDS to have a manga volume in his hands at all times. few minutes later.#he finishes reading and isn't bored yet so he decides to go talk to me abt manga. specifically he starts pestering me abt what shonen i've#read despite the fact that i am a shoujo reader and told him that. but he knows i've read kuroshitsuji bc he previously asked me abt what#the worst anime i've ever watched is and i will never not take an excuse to drag the adaptation. and he figures that if i've read kuro i've#probably read more. and so i mention tbhk and he asks more abt it bc of the name involving toilets and him being a 4th grade boy so i give#brief overview and he wants to read it. and i come up with a scheme to make him peaceful AND to give him something to talk to me abt which#isn't 'i know you've read more shonen manga' 'let me gacha on your phone' or 'i saw an ad for rent a gf. thought it was lame. and now want#you to tell me how it sucks bc i assume you know everything abt every animanga ever' (<does unfortunately know too much abt rent a gf bc i'#a bit of a nosy bastard and watched the mother's basement video). so i offered to bring it in bc i own physicals of the whole series and of#as previously mentioned. gave it a quick reread in advance just in case. and got hit by it. hard. i love you tbhk almost as much as i love#when ppl get into things through me. honestly i think getting to live vicariously through him might be one of the main reasons it got me#this time around and not as much the first time (still loved it the first time though). flash forward a little while. one of the 3rd grade#girls is like. really into reading. and also macabre things. like ghosts. and she has two books from the school library. and has had the#same two books from the school library for over a week. she reads quickly and finished them both in under a day and is now bored out of her#mind rereading them. she asks to read the books i've been letting the other kid read. now there are two of them#romeo.txt
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everyday i get closer and closer to writing wholesome fluffy gerbert rpf entirely out of spite for the bert villianizers who turned me away from listening to the used for years
#every day i feel the need to apologize to bert mccracken for just. blindly taking fanfic depections of hom as fact#in my defense i was in middle school and i had never heard of the used to i didnt realize he was a real person for a WHILE#and then once i figured out he was real i literally knew nothing abt him aside from what was in fics and they all treated him the same way#so i just assumed there was some fact behind it ig?? 😭#and then as i got older it just sort of clicked that Oh Yeah all of this shit us Made Up and maybe i should Fact Check This#and now the used is one of my favorite bands and i love bert so much and i am still so fucking angry that everyone fucking treated him like#shit for absolutely no reason they just. needed a villan?#actually no ik the reason is bc he fucking struggled with addiction and people love to villianize addicts#especially bc hes seen as more masculine than gerard so even tho gerard struggled with addiction too HES not the villian bc hes too SWEET#and PURE and SOFT#but bert's seen as more masc and tough and loud so OBVIOUSLY that makes him a violent and abusive addict bc ppl love to equate masculinity#with 'strength' and violence and i could absolutely write a whole fucking paper on this topic if i had time to organize my thoughts#and idk if im even articulating this well rn but yeah. it makes me so fucking angry and disappointed and maybe its a stupid solution but i#know there are still SO many fics out where that do this shit and ik its still fucking with ppls perceptions of bert bc ive seen it!!!#ive seen ppl talk shit abt him and they dont even know *why* theyre talking shit#they just think hes an asshole bc of bullshit theyve heard/read and im sick of it!!!! im gonna write a novel where hes the hero just to#spite you fucks!!!! fuck!
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3416 · 5 months
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takes like this are just so incredibly intangible and ridiculous to me, and the fact that that's all bozos on sports twitter can come up with as any sort of 'test' game in and game out is just............ you lack braincells...
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yohankang · 8 months
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besties i gotta be real one of you has to visit me or i'll go insane
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daz4i · 7 months
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i know aging isn't the end of the world and 24 isn't that old and life isn't a race etc etc etc. however,
#i think a big reason i feel so bad abt being this age is ppl told me this is when things start to get better#and i still feel the same way i did as a teenager so. well. is it really 😐#(being on t probably isn't helping but it's been over 3 years already so... not an excuse i think)#but I'm also physically aging like the reason i barely upload selfies anymore is i see myself getting uglier every day#despite fighting for my life to at least take care of my face and hair...... can't fight the passage of time 😔#+ ofc. my (younger) friends being way more sorted out than i am on every level#again ik life isn't a race but. it can't help but hurt to know I'm still behind literally everyone i know#and my excuses for that aren't even good. bc other disabled ppl my age are also more sorted out than i am#other depressed ppl other borderlines other autistics etc etc. hell these are also my irl friends 😭#and it's dumb. bc feeling like i wasted my life isn't really pushing me to change that now. just makes me want to die even more#(bc i mean what's the point. i will never catch up. I'm still at the starting line AND i move so slow it doesn't even count)#(i don't have a single milestone ppl my age have not even finishing high school which is like. the bare minimum)#(and it sucks bc i also know i have potential i KNOW i can do shit in theory i know I'm smart and got skills. but i can't put it to use)#(and now this is turning into less of a thing abt age and just generally me talking abt how i wasted the last 24 years)#this was more of a stressed rant abt how I'm turning ugly and feeling super old but well. it all boils down to self loathing at the end 👍#vent#negative //#ask to tag#sorry for being so depressing all day oof ik i already said it before but it's been a rough couple of months#(nothing happened my brain just needs to get flushed down the toilet ^_^)#edit: i think. part of my panic about aging. is bc as a kid i was used to being the youngest everywhere#i was the youngest in my class bc i started school a year early. i was the youngest in acting school bc they don't normally accept teenagers#and in addition to that as an adult but before starting t i was always told that i LOOK young too#but now ik i look like I'm in my 20s. and it's killing me that i aged this much in so little#i wonder if shaving my beard will help but i don't wanna get misgendered 😐😐😐 and rn it's the only thing guarding me from that
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skitskatdacat63 · 5 months
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— Emperor Charles VI's diary entry on Count Althann's death
[text: "My only heart, my comfort, my most faithful servant, my soulmate, who loved me dearly as I did him for 19 years, [we] had a true friendship, we were one heart and one soul, and we never concealed anything from one another. He will always be in my heart, [my] beloved friend..I. have lost everything."]
#this is like. incredibly niche.#but also hopefully a quote one can look at without context and still feel emotional damage about#idk. i think about this quote probably at least once a week and then have to stare at it and cry a bit#its just GOD. yknow??????#theres this one paper(which i linked) that i originally read as research for the AU#but i go back to it probably twice a month to reread it bcs im so !!!! abt it#i think its cause charles vi is just not that relevant but is relevant to me so to have this paper abt his personal relationships is very !#its both nice as ref for the au but also very interesting to hear about historical queer relationships/dynamics#the sections about him and his wife are very endearing as well#but god like him and count althann. im literally so invested in this 300 year old relationship#this is obviously from his death which is incredibly depressing and heart wrenching to me#but the other things he wrote about althann in his diary are very sweet to me#they were inseparable to the point of often sleeping in the same bed and charles called him his 'eternal love'#AND ON ALTHANN'S DE WIKIPEDIA PAGE IT LITERALLY CALLS HIM THE EMPEROR'S FAVORITE#anyways literally every part of this quote absolutely destroys me but especially how he refers to althann and then the ending#and its interesting to me bcs apparently his diary entries were usually pretty to the point#but when various people in his as althann died he would write these extremely emotional entries that are so </3#if you have any questions abt their dynamic pls i will talk abt them 🥰🥰 i find it fascinating#theres a book about his diary but its in german and 500 pages and kinda hard to get hold in but maybe one day!!!#also in AU contexts: althann and charles vi would be mark and seb so take that as you will 🤭😭#as i said this is great for ref but also made me sooooo fucking invested in him#i have no idea how to tag this#historical#holy roman empire#emperor charles vi#catie.rambling.txt#historical quotes#habsburg#habsburg monarchy#ah wow if only my german prof could see me now. fucking...habsburg posting. why am i like this
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bylertruther · 8 months
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people will see a character that was created to be a certain way from the very beginning before everything was even set in stone, then actually written that same way even before The Plot happens in the final product, watch their core personality remain constant all throughout a show's lifespan from beginning to end, and even watch it be highlighted as a Good and True thing to be proud of and that is inspiring to others and sorely needed and not something to ever change or belittle in one of the most emotional scenes of a season that doubles as a high point & character defining moment, and instead of thinking Hm Maybe This Character Just Is This Way And We're Being Told That They Should Love Themselves For It The Same Way Everyone Else Does And How They Once Did Too Before Their Insecurity Got The Best Of Them And Told Them They Should Change, they will instead call it repression and not his true self and something to be changed even though it literally just is who he is. and all of this happens in the show where we are repeatedly hit over the head with the "you should stay true to yourself and love yourself no matter what other people think or tell you you should be". where the motto is literally "never change" nd conformity is killing the kids. like. Okay ❤️
#i'm sorry lmao but. if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck and it's done that for four seasons and was described#like that in the st bible and was TOLDDDD ON SCREENNNNNN that the way they are is a good thing and that their insecurities#aren't telling them the truth abt themselves and that they should just be themselves instead#of something or someone they're not......... then yeah i'm sorry but i think it's a fucking duck. LMAO#im allowed one evil post every three months.#mike is the way that he is and he's always been that way and he's always been described that way. his core personality consists.#he conforms when it comes to his romantic life and how that then affects his relationships. he thought he needed to give up#gaming with his friends and instead get a girlfriend bc one day he'll have to marry her and settle down leaving everything#he once had behind. the conformity doesn't lie in his personality it lies in his actions via what he thinks his future holds.#and even then... he fucking dropped that LMAO now it's just the other part of tht bc he went back to his other interests#and he's still the same old mike that he's always been#if it ain't broke.......#like. like and wish for whatever u want but sometimes certain claims are made about the Text tht i believe are just not substantial or#supported by any of the materials we've ever seen. n thts jus wht i think !#im on mobile im not rereading this <3 the mind flayer made me write alla dat im free now im Clean
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ivegotallthisringing · 2 months
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current state of politics really got me swerving wildly between "yes I want to present as a man" and "oh god is this even worth it maybe I'm not even really trans" and it's bringing me to my limit
#damien.txt#sorry its like 5 am and i havent slept and wanna vent so. here inam#i really do be having a wild time bc ill have like. weeks at a time where ill be like. wait a second. what if im not trans actually#okay well. never in a 'im 100% not trans' way but in a 'maybe i shouldnt transition' way#and then ill have a day where i wake up and go. oh. i think that feeling is just coming from fear about. the current state of trans issues#because oh my FUCKING GOD am i scared like 24/7 bc of that shit#and so like. then im like. maybe i really am like. actually transmasc. fr. bc i like. literally have been feeling it my whole life.#and then i wake up a couple weeks later back at the beginning like hmm....... but..... what if....#and im so tired of not knowing!! it's fucking exhausting questioning what the fuck is happening w me every 2 seconds#and im being dramatic abt it but idk. i think its a symptom of neurodivergence or something bc im like. so so scared abt being trans atm#at a level that is. certainly unhealthy.#and it really feels like something that is inhibiting me from doing things in life which is like. upsetting y'know!#but at the same time. the concept of going thru life as my birth gender is... bad. sort of inconceivable at this point.#and this is particularly hard bc like. really going back and forth on making decisions abt taking T. bc when i get in these spirals#abt maybe not being trans. i get the urge to not take it. but like. i cant fluctuate w a medicine like that that much!#but at the same time when i go back to being like oh yeah transmasc... my brain is like cool. take T again. so. fuck me i guess.#idk man. im just like. i just want to live my life without being perceived by others actually#my true gender is no one's business <3 thanks#i am. tired.
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currently cursing 10 years old me for refusing to learn how to sew
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voidimp · 2 months
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yeah yeah okay maybe there is something to be said for eating healthier. whatever
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