#❪ CAPTAIN DOUCHEBAG ❫ ( out of character. )

[quaggyday]

Something I’ve personally noticed is that Luffy holds so much while being so simple

We first meet him as this dumb stretchy guy who goofs off whenever he wants while being a looney toons character to boot. Then we also see him completely understanding the cruelty of the world and being so emotionally intelligent and mature in how he helps others (I.e giving Nami help while also giving her back her agency in the process or just looking at Brooks predicament and knowing he needed some company) that he doesn’t need to know anything about someone to know what needs to be done to push them forward.

But then we have Water 7 where we’re reminded Luffy is still a 17 year old with a lot more time and struggle needed to be a good captain. At Sabaody, Impel down, and Marineford he does so much and still falls because he still has so much more to do. But at the same time in post war he's the reason Ace could live just a bit longer by being a stupid little brother.

Post time skip Luffy also carries that weight while still being pretty simplistic. He wants to help others by simply beating the shit out of douchebags because he knows it's as simple as that for him- and he can still lead as a captain and have people believe in him because of the strength he carries that only exists now. He's also clearly repressing his trauma's to the point it's still there and hurting him badly while at the same time not really.

He's a kaleidoscope of a character were he's both funny and dumb, mature and smart, tragic and nuanced, and it all blends perfectly together in a way only Luffy can be.

#one piece #op meta #I love this lil guy so much you have no idea #I need more people talking about him honestly #monkey d luffy #luffy #op spoilers #meta #op luffy

[krakkenchaos]

Based on the trailers, I'm not convinced the Clone High reboot will be as entertaining as the original, but it's smart that it's seemingly leaning into the angle of "characters from a 2003 teen drama trying to adapt to living in a 2023 teen drama." It's a meta-humor goldmine because the fandom that emerged in 2020 when JFK clips randomly went viral on tiktok is a downright fascinating specimen of how our perception of characters in pop culture has changed over the last 20 years (I feel old.)

The clearest example of this is how Joan x JFK got warped into a wholesome OTP darling of the fandom. The actual show pretty explicitly characterizes JFK as an obnoxious playboy douchebag. That's the entire archetype of his character and it's exaggerated to extreme extents for humor. There's exactly two examples of the JoanFK "romance" in the original series and both were just the punchline of jokes that wouldn't be well-received today. The first is JFK being relieved that he's not gay when the "man" he was attracted to was Joan in disguise. The second is JFK having sex with an emotionally vulnerable Joan in the literal last minute of the show as a parody of the dramatic out-of-nowhere twists in TV shows of the time. It should be strange that this ship was warped into the definitive wholesome face of the fandom. But it's not strange when you look at Abe and the modern view of characters like him.

See, Abe is the character Joan is "supposed to" end up with. He's the awkward, dorky guy chasing the hot, popular Cleopatra while oblivious to the cute alt girl at his side pining to be more than friends. It's classic "she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers" stuff common in the 2000s. However, that trope became hated within the last few years because it's "pitting women against each other." Even more-so, Abe's character archetype has become detested. Abe is Ross from Friends and Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Today, it's unpopular to have empathy for characters like that because their passive "nice guy" misogyny is recognized as just as, if not more harmful than the blatant misogyny of a JFK-type character. Meanwhile, fandom culture has fallen in love with himbos, hence why JFK has been shoehorned into that archetype despite still being an awful person in the show. There's so much comedic potential with this contrast and the reboot seems to be at least somewhat aware of it based on the joke from the trailer where JFK is commended for being "so sex positive."

#clone high #clone high 2023 #clone high jfk #clone high joan #joanfk

[pinkydec]

I wasn’t going to rant about it but here we go

there’s something about this season, watching the characters grow in themselves that just hits home Ted’s whole atmosphere of leaving a place better than you found it.

and he’s just done that hasn’t he?

jamie’s redemption is honestly so brilliantly done I’d be here all night ranting about it, going from an honest douchebag to the man who wore his teammates kit number on his England debut because they took a bribe and didn’t call him up??

Colin finally got embrace who he is and stop being a chameleon, coming out on his own terms which for a queer person is so so fucking heartwarming and important, you hear so many stories and know so many people who have had that opportunity ripped away from them like??

Rebecca? oh my god this episode has killed me, she’s let go of the anger she held and she looks so much happier for it

Isaac? he’s stepping up to be the captain Roy saw in him, one step at a time and I think that his part of Colin’s storyline is so so important to that, in helping make the locker room more inclusive

Sam? he’s broken my heart more times than I can count this season but each one he’s come back stronger and watching them become more of a team to support him when he needed them most? devastating

Roy? as much as he annoyed me with the keeley comment last week, it was more a foot in mouth moment and he’s learning how to express his emotions more and more and it’s beautiful watching him not bottle it all up anymore but instead opening himself to others, whether it’s Jamie, keeley or rebecca

Keeley as well like?? to pick yourself up when you are down like that is so hard sometimes, especially when it’s everything you’ve ever wanted, but it’s so important to not give up and that’s exactly what she’s doing, she’s not giving up

Let alone nate?? I’ve wanted to fight that man at times but seeing him today quitting on his own terms? Such a boss move and such a fuck you to Rupert I love it, sometimes it takes hitting the lows to realise you’ve not been a nice person and that’s what he’s done, he’ll only build himself up further and become to Nate we knew and loved. 

if this really is the last dance, then I’m so thankful to see this wonderful team flourish and become people they want to become, not just mounded to suit others. if this really is it, ted’s done the one thing he wanted to do since day 1, leave this place better than it was when he joined

#if you can’t tell I’m sad and procrastinating #ted lasso #jamie tartt #Colin Hughes #rebecca welton #issac mcadoo #sam obisanya #roy kent #keeley jones #nate shelley

[weheartchrisevans]

Chris Evans’ The Gray Man Villain Is ‘A Trainwreck Of A Human Being’

Fresh from saving the world a lot as Captain America, Chris Evans made something of a pivot. Donning some spectacular knitwear, he turned agent of chaos in Rian Johnson’s whodunnit Knives Out as swaggering douchebag Ransom (remember that “Eat shit” monologue?), chewing the scenery and spitting it out with a grin on his face. Now in The Gray Man, he’s ploughing further into gleeful villainy as Lloyd Hansen – the specialist hired to take down Ryan Gosling’s CIA hitman Sierra Six; a sadistic, narcissistic, sociopathic manhunter who relishes the nastiest parts of the job. His Cap days are well and truly gone. “It does seem that I’ve aggressively gone 180 [degrees] from Steve Rogers,” Evans tells Empire. “But it just kind of unfolded that way.”

As the film’s co-writer Stephen McFeely notes, the unpredictability of Lloyd Hansen spices up every scene he’s in. “He’s a trainwreck of a human being,” he teases. “That guy can be anything in any scene, because all he wants is anarchy.” Getting to lean into a character who loved doing bad things was an opportunity that Evans relished – especially getting to do so with the Russo Brothers, directors he’d worked with on a whole string of Marvel movies: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame. “I love the Russos, and I’ll pretty much do anything they ask me to do,” he says. “And this is a character I’ve never been able to play. He’s so liberated, and free, and honest. What I like about him is that you should almost fear his smile more than his scowl. I think he understands that what he does is bad and harmful, but I think he considers himself necessary. He thinks he’s a disrupter.” Bring on the chaos.

#chris evans #the gray man #empire magazine #news

[ymaohoh]

'Rule 63' - Hellcheer Fic - Oneshot

Superstar athlete Chris Cunningham is struggling with nightmares and visions and goes to freaky Ellie Munson for relief. Rule 63' - Gender Swap - Hellcheer AU Basically a gender swap version of 'Chrissy Lives' Characters are kind of OC but not really. I've tried to keep them as character-based as possible but there had to be minor tweaks to make it realistic in the 80's. POV switches between characters.

Ellie is 19. Chris is 18. Really enjoyed writing this one. Let me know what you think and if I should do another chapter. Also on Archive. Word count: 9,322 Rated: No ratings, some swearing.

Setting: Hawkins High School

Date: 1986, baby

Introducing: 

Ellie Munson, lead guitarist in amateur rock band Corroded Coffin, repeating her senior year again because she has crap grades and a rebellious streak. Her interests? Dungeons and Dragons (she runs the Hellfire Club as D&M and rules with an iron fist), listening to heavy metal at full volume with the car windows rolled down, and reading (and getting high to) The Hobbit, Dune, and other fantasy books which let her drift away. She was the school pariah because she didn’t play by the same rules - ‘a freak’ - and people just didn’t like her very much. The other students (and most of Hawkins) hissed she was a ‘bad influence’ - a junkie slut, trailer trash, juvenile delinquent - who would no doubt end up just like her shitty mom. Oh they were just waiting for the day she stumbled and proved them right. 

Ellie wasn’t so sure - she was mean and scary, yes, and she played up the freak role at school because it made certain dickheads keep their distance - but she knew she wanted more out of life. This year she was getting her diploma and getting the fuck out of Hawkins and away from these small-minded hicks. They could literally kiss her ass. 

Introducing: 

Chris Cunningam, captain of the basketball team and hot-shot athlete with college scholarships coming out of his ears. His interests? Sports, tutoring (his grades were outstanding), and being a perfect all-round good guy who everybody simply fawned over. Guys were lining up to be his buddy and girls wanted to date him. You’d think he’d be this obnoxious douchebag but Chris stood out from his peers - he was kind, patient, always looking out for the little guy. Everyone knew Chris had the perfect future lined up for the taking (a stable high-earning job within his dad’s law firm, a big house with the white picket fence, a beautiful wife and children). 

Chris wasn’t so sure - people didn’t want to see the real him - the guy who hated parties and crowds, who couldn’t do anything without his dad breathing down his fucking neck, who was so petrified of letting people down and not being perfect that it gave him panic attacks. Nobody asked him what he wanted to do after school and sometimes (just sometimes) he would let himself imagine a future away from Hawkins and all the stress. 

Enter stage left: 

Ellie was known to be the school dealer. She even had a system; people would drop a note in her locker with a time and place and she would meet them, easy peasy. Her rules? Cash only, not on a night when she had Hellfire, and absolutely no questions. She didn’t give a shit about why they wanted the weed or who they wanted to impress, she just wanted to get in and out with zero complications. Selling weed was not something she wanted to do forever but it meant she could save up for if - no, when - she graduated. 

She couldn’t exactly get a normal job packing groceries because the whole town thought she was a good-for-nothing junkie who would steal from the tills rather than do an honest day’s labour, and she was too young to work in the factory with her aunt. 

Some of the money went towards helping her aunt with the bills. Wendy took her in when she was still a kid and her parents split in the middle of the night without even a goodbye or see you later. Wendy was a confirmed spinster and worked a lot so Ellie often had the trailer to herself, but they made it work. She was nice, sturdy, calm; a good balance to Ellie’s puzzling inner chaos. 

(she tried explaining to Mr Kelley about her crazy brain and how sometimes it wouldn’t let her focus but he just told her to lay off the pot, which to be fair wasn’t terrible advice overall). 

So when Ellie arrived at school (late as usual) and found a neatly folded note in her locker she didn’t really give it much thought until she saw the initials at the bottom - C.C.

No fucking way…

But it had to be him because who else would write please and thank you in a drug note then the resident goody-two-shoes Chris Cunningham? 

She only had one class with Chris - English (her worst and seemingly his best) - and he was different from the other douchebag jocks. He never once picked on her or called her a freak and even told the cheerleader Patty to lay off when she tried stealing her notes. He’d smiled and given her a little nod as to say ‘it’s cool’ and for a second he made her believe it. That was the thing about Chris: he was nice, he was kind, and he never told a lie. 

(it was no wonder she struggled in that class, but she would rather die than tell judgy ol’ Mr O'Donnell about it).

Chris had a killer smile too - though his front tooth was slightly crooked (which somehow made it even better?) - and the bluest eyes she ever saw. He was also ripped. He must work out a lot because his arms looked like they could easily toss you over his strong shoulder or rip a phonebook in half. Not that she’d noticed, obviously, but the scribbles in the bathroom stalls went on and on about his muscles, his shoe size, his (perfect) butt. To her absolutely shame (and she would never ever admit it even under torture) she once imagined in class how nice it might be to be held by those arms. Ugh. 

Sure she was an outcast and liked traditionally unfeminine pursuits, but she was still a girl. She had hormones and feelings and all the crazy stuff that made teenage years super fun. 

(and yeah Chris had once cheered for her during a stupid talent contest in middle school but that was years ago and he was only being nice). 

It would never happen, this wasn’t The Breakfast Club (Wendy loved these kinds of films - she would drag Ellie to the video rental place every weekend for a new one. Ellie liked Robin who worked there (he was pretty outlandish too) but former ‘It Girl’ Stacey was intimidating as fuck. She had no idea how the two were friends). 

Chris was a solid 9 whereas she was a 3 on a good day if she stopped doing weird shit to her hair. He might be Emilio Estevez but she was no Ally Sheedy. 

Even if she wanted to suddenly change her clothes and slap on some make up (seriously, what was that ending?), those big strong arms were busy hugging his actual girlfriend Jackie Carver (and carrying her books, opening doors for her, probably opening goddamn jars too). Jackie Carver was head cheerleader and the darling of the school. She was the perfect match for Chris in every conceivable way; church going, wholesome, sickeningly rich. Apart from the occasional teasing, the jocks tended to leave Ellie alone for the most part but the cheerleaders were another matter entirely. They loathed her - and to be fair, she hated them right back. Jackie was the ringleader and Ellie simply loved getting a rise out of her.

(this wasn’t hard to do; she only had to mention how she was joining a Satan-worshipping cult and little Miss Carver would hiss like an alley cat). 

So yeah, in conclusion Chris was a good guy and the last person she would ever expect to ask for drugs. It almost made her want to break rule number three. 

His note asked to meet at the abandoned picnic bench during lunch period which meant she had to wolf down her sandwich and get a move on. She told her little sheepies with a wink she had private business to attend to and left before they could give her any sass (Dusty was seriously showing too much attitude for her own good). Her bandmates only nodded, well used to her side-hustle. 

As she walked through the trees she had a fleeting thought that this could be a prank or a set up. Were the cheerleaders waiting to jump her and steal her stash or tip another slushie down the front of her shirt? (that was a seriously shit day). Would Queen Bee Jackie be waiting instead of her prized King? 

Ellie was too scrawny to be a fighter, but her dad had done at least one useful thing in teaching her how to throw a punch (when he still gave a shit) and she was scrappy. She could also read people and situations well. She kinda’ had to. As a girl dealer in 80’s Indiana it was crucial she could make speedy decisions on whether best to fight or fly. 

She decided to run at the first sight of a green and orange pom pom. 

And maybe a tiny part of her was quite interested to meet Cunningham alone in the woods. 

**

Chris was going insane…or maybe not insane exactly, but he was definitely on the edge of some kind of nervous breakdown. His head was pounding and he was so damn tired from all the restless nights. He hadn’t felt this bad since freshman year when he was trying to beef up enough to make the team (months of eating nothing but carbs and protein shakes/constant calorie counting/early morning runs that made him want to puke his guts out). 

He needed some kind of relief. 

Painkillers did nothing and he wouldn’t go near his mom’s valium in case she noticed (though the odds of that were…yeah). He saw Mr Kelley at their weekly therapy sessions but it would sound so dumb if he started bringing up the strange ticking noises and dreams that seemed more like hallucinations. It was too dangerous anyway; he'd probably tell his coach who would then blab to his parents. Then he’d really get it in the neck. His parents hated anything out of the ordinary. He could already hear his dad calling him a punk, a loser, and an embarrassment. 

“Chrissss,” he’d say, dragging it out like he always did when he was mad. “I’ve worked hard to give you and your sister everything. Now you want to wreck it all by crying about feelings like some girl? Get a grip, son. A real man knows who he is and what he wants out of life. Don’t let me down.”

In the end it was a teammate who suggested Ellie Munson. He told him about the note system too. He warned Chris that Ellie was creepy and to be careful, even if she did sell decent pot. She wasn’t the kind of girl you wanted to know.

He was anxious as hell as he walked to the meeting spot, and more so when he got there and saw…no one. 

Damn. Had she not seen the note? Or maybe she just didn’t want to sell to him? He didn’t really know Ellie personally but being a high-school athlete came hand in hand with a certain…reputation. Perhaps she thought he was just another cliche dumb jock looking to make trouble?

(he knew the guys gave her a hard time and tried to intervene when he saw it. He hated bullies - they reminded him of his crappy dad - but yeah, he could probably do more if he was honest with himself. It was hard when Ellie basically gave the finger to anyone who even approached her though). 

With a sigh, he decided to head back. This was all probably a bad idea anyway; he’d never even touched a joint before and if his parents or coach or Jackie found out they’d seriously kill him. His perfectly curated image would be in shatters. 

And Jackie could be really cold when she wanted to be. It always made him feel like he was walking on eggshells. 

But then Chris heard that creepy ticking noise again and he flinched back. 

Then a snap.

He whirled around and came face to face with Ellie Munson, who held her hands up. “Woah…hey…sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. You okay?”

Chris nodded but he kept back. The ticking had stopped but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t start back up again. God, he really was going insane. He’d end up like Jack Nicholson in that creepy film with the white straight jackets at this rate. 

Ellie sat down at the table and placed a black lunchbox next to her. “There's, uh... There's nothing to worry about. Okay? No one ever comes out here. We're safe. I promise.”

Chris looked at her properly. Ellie Munson was known about school to be wild and weird and most people avoided her. She looked weird in her black ripped jeans, leather jacket, and faded denim vest covered with band patches and pins. Even her leather boots were scuffed and way too big to belong to her. Her hair was wild too; an explosion of messy brown curls that fell to her waist with a knotted bandana (failing) to keep it away from her face. She didn’t wear makeup like Jackie but he noticed three heavy silver rings on her fingers (again, way too big for her). Her ears were heavily pierced and…yeah…one even had a safety pin through it. 

He knew she liked to kick up a fuss in the cafeteria and make loud bizarre speeches about inequality and feminist rights, she never ever attended class (when she did she preferred to sleep in the back row), and could swear like a biker. She also protected a flock of freshmen like a mother hen. So yeah weird but she wore it well. She wore it in a way that proclaimed proudly she didn’t give a shit what other people thought about her, which was…actually pretty cool. 

Ellie’s boldness and shere cheek should by all rights freak him out, but it didn’t. Instead he felt a strange twist of jealousy in his chest; he’d love to borrow that nerve and tell the people around him to leave him the hell alone. 

So when she told him they were safe, he found himself believing her (even though she was like half his height and he definitely bench pressed heavier weights than her). Strange.   

“So, how does this work exactly?” he asked, sitting down too. 

“Oh, just like any other old sale, except, uh, cash only, and, uh, for obvious reasons, no receipts. I'll do you a half ounce for, uh... 20. What do you say? Plenty of bang for your buck. Should last a while.”

Another snap. He shuddered and rubbed his temples. 

“Hey, uh, we don't need to do this. Just give me the word and I'll walk away. Okay?”

She was looking at him with something like real concern flashing in her brown eyes. He felt oddly touched. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone looked at him like that.  

“It's not that. I don't want you to go. It's just…” he took a deep breath to steady himself. “Do you ever feel like you're losing your mind?” 

He half expected her to leg it but to his surprise Ellie just grinned. Up close, he noticed a dimple in her left cheek which was pretty cute. 

“Um, you know, just... on a daily basis. I feel like I'm losing my mind right now doing a drսg deal with Chris Cunningham, the King of Hawkins High.” 

Chris could feel his cheeks burning - he hated being called that. That was all Jackie’s doing. She had big plans that they were going to be crowned at prom and then probably marry right out of school and…ugh. He was about to say so when Ellie went on…

“You know, this isn't the first time that we've, um... hung out.”

“I'm sorry. I…”

“That's okay.”

Before he could say another word, Ellie launched herself back off the table and he sprang to his feet to…help? Catch her? Check she was ok? But Ellie was grinning again and he found it so infectious that he smiled right back. 

“I wouldn't remember me either, Chris. Honestly, do I have stuff in my hair?” she laughed. There were brown and gold leaves in her hair but instead of fixing it (like Jackie might’ve) she shook it out and seemed totally unfazed. “You don't remember me?”

“I’m sorry!” Chris laughed. 

“Middle school, talent show? You were doing the basketball thing. You know, the... dribbling… thing you do. It was pretty cool, actually. And I... I was with my band.” 

Then it hit him. “Corroded Coffin! Yes, of course. With a name like that, how could I forget?”

“I dunno. You're a freak.”

Ellie was beaming and Chris sat back down on the edge of the table to watch her. If anyone else called him a freak he might’ve been offended but Ellie said it like it was a badge of honour. Her dimple was back. 

A vague memory of a tiny girl with patched dungarees holding a guitar suddenly came back to him. She’d been waiting to go out on stage with her friends, terrified and clearly falling to bits with nerves. Chris had smiled and wished her luck, and afterwards whooped and clapped so hard he thought his hands might fall off. His dad had ripped him to shreds for his own performance - but her little crooked smile and twinkling eyes stayed with him. “No, you just... You looked so... Different?” 

“Yeah. Well, uh, my hair was shorter and I had braces, and I didn't have these sweet old tatties yet.”

She tugged at the neck of her shirt (with Hellfire written across the front) and he spotted a line of black ink just underneath her collarbone. He knew some girls got tattoos - not any of the girls he knew, of course - and Ellie implied she had more than one. He felt himself blush again when he realised he wanted to see more. Which would obviously be really inappropriate and creepy. 

He was very aware of the fact they were all alone and he was significantly bigger than her, even if Ellie didn’t seem to notice. He dragged his gaze back to the safety of her face. 

Thankfully his voice didn’t betray any of what he was feeling. “You played guitar, right?”

“Uh-huh. Still do. Still do. You should come see us. Uh, we play at The Hideout on Tuesdays. It's pretty cool. We... We actually get a crowd of about five drunks. It's not exactly the Garden, but you gotta start somewhere, right?”

He was surprised she was allowed to go to The Hideout at all with drunk guys - let alone to play in a band. Maybe her boyfriend went along to keep her safe? Chris didn’t even know her that well and he wanted to. “You know, you're not what I thought you'd be like.” 

“Mean and scary?” 

That’s what Jackie or his friends would say. “Yeah.” 

“Yeah, well, I actually kinda thought you'd be kinda mean and scary too.” 

He actually snorted at that. “Me?”

Ellie laughed and when she laughed she did it properly - lips wide, eyes bright, her head tossed back. It was so incredibly animated and warm and real that it made Chris want to huddle closer to her flame. She perched on the seat beside him and opened up the lunchbox. 

“Terrifying. Uh, so, in other good news, flattery works with me, so... Twenty-five percent discount for the half. Fifteen bucks. You're robbing me blind here, you know.”

Oh right. Drugs. He’d almost forgotten. He’d enjoyed speaking to her so much (and watching her - she was more interesting to look at than anyone else he knew) that for a brief wonderful moment the ticking and spiders and nightmares vanished. 

But they came back back now and he felt himself physically recoil. 

“Do you have anything maybe stronger?”

He didn’t think anything shocked Ellie Munson, but that sure did. 

**

Right. So perfect wholesome Chris Cunningham was sitting in her crappy van and they were driving back to her trailer. 

He said he wanted something harder than weed and Ellie said yes but obviously didn’t keep that kind of thing at school. She offered to meet him the following day (same time, same place, even though it was a Saturday) but Chris had looked so serious when he asked if he could please possibly get it tonight after the game and her club meeting. She’d been too taken back by the intensity in his eyes to say anything other than yes, honestly. So they met later that evening by her van and he actually opened the door for her. Ellie couldn’t remember anyone ever doing that kind of thing for her before. 

(she’d had a short-lived daliance with a boy from her art class and he’d brought her roses and candy, but the next day he was sucking face with a girl from their photography class who put out, so it wasn’t really what you’d call meaningful).

She thanked him and hopped up into the driver’s seat (damn it, she was too short for anything elegant) and Chris slid in beside her. He was polite enough not to mention the many takeout coffee cups, the spare and broken tapes cluttering the floor, or the very used mattress in the back (used for when she needed to transport band equipment). He said his own car was in the shop right now and he’d caught a lift this morning. 

“Seriously, I’m not trying to make a move or anything…I just need something to help, you know?”

It hadn’t even crossed her simple puny mind that Chris might have any ulterior motive to coming back to her trailer. Maybe some guys might but that didn’t seem to be his style. 

“Am I your piece of rough, Cunningham? Not worried one of your team mates might see you slumming it with me?” Ellie said, only part joking. 

Chris blushed and rolled his eyes. “You make me sound like a total prude. Aren’t you worried about your badass image being tanked by me?” 

She liked it when he blushed. Luckily with his pale skin and colouring, he had no chance at masking it. 

“Glad you brought it up actually, can you duck down ‘til we get out the gates? One look at that letterman jacket and my scary reputation is kaput,” she smirked. She turned on the radio and heavy metal music blasted out from the speakers. She thought he might ask to turn it down and was pleasantly surprised when he said he didn’t mind it. “Sorry, I don’t have any Cyndi Lauper or Billy Joel…”

“Get lost,” he laughed. “Do not start quoting Uptown Girl (Boy) at me, Munson.” 

It was almost too easy to make Chris laugh. She’d enjoyed messing with him back in the woods and wondered what other buttons she could press. What got under his skin? 

There must be something, obviously, if he was asking her for ketamine. 

You’ve gotta’ cool it, she told herself. Yeah he’s super cute and remembered the band but you weren’t really joking…he would absolutely be slumming it with you. He’s not even the same species AND he has a girlfriend who looks like she could be a runner up for Miss America. 

Inwardly sighing at her lot in life, she bravely asked, “So how was the game? Did you - uh - throw some balls into laundry baskets?”

Chris looked sideways at her, obviously surprised that she cared so little for something the entire school (including the faculty) seemed crazy about, but then started chuckling again. “Yeah, we…we won actually. It was a championship game.”

“Oh…good. Glad it went well for you.” Ellie wound down the window and lit a cigarette as they neared a stop sign. She offered him one and he took it after only a split-second hesitation. 

“Thanks. We practised really hard and I’m proud of how well we all came together. It’s one of the things I like most about playing sports, you know? The team work,” he added. “Ever been to a rally?”

She’d never thought about sports like that before, it always just seemed like one big popularity contest. His enthusiasm kind of humbled her a bit. “Uh - no, not high on my ‘to do’ list, I’m afraid. I’d be too worried about one of the cheerleaders drop-kicking me honestly.” 

“Oh really? Are they…what? They mean to you?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Seriously, Cunningham?”

He didn’t look like he was bullshitting her. He looked genuinely confused…“Sorry, I don’t really know…”

She thought about all the times the cheerleaders stole her clothes (and dumped them in the toilets) after gym class, how they tried to trip her up in the halls, how they filled her locker with shaving foam so all her notes were useless, how they stuck gum in her hair and Wendy had no choice but to cut it out leaving her with a tuft that stuck out for ages. 

Yeah, she could see how Miss Carver would want to keep that all hush hush from her lovely boyfriend. 

“Yeah, I mean it’s not your problem so you don’t need to apologise, but yeah they make my life pretty miserable on a daily basis. They pick on the freshmen too and that really gets under my skin,” she added. “Your buddies on the team can be real jerks too. It’s why I stopped dealing at those jock parties. Those meatheads can call you a freak and ignore you at school, but after a couple of beers they get pretty shitty if you catch my drift.” 

“They’ve messed with you?”

“Tried to. I just avoid it all now.”

Chris seemed honestly shocked at that and his hand twitched like he wanted to…what? Comfort her? She felt a bit bad - he obviously had no idea about what kind of people he chose to hang around. “That’s seriously not on. Not to you or the kids,” he muttered. “Does…Jackie…?”

Ellie actually snorted. “No way, Chris. She’s your girlfriend and there’s no way I’m airing out her dirty laundry. These lips will remain sealed.” 

“But…I could try talking to her?” 

Maybe Chris speaking to Jackie on her behalf might help for a week or two (Jackie would be sure to cry a little and pout and say no honey, she’s really stupid, she must be mistaken) but then Jackie would be livid. She’d think she was deliberately trying to split them up or something. 

The little chaos demon in her brain thought fuck it, ask him anyway. 

“Nah, it would only make it worse. Just…drop it, okay? Thanks but I can look after myself for a few more months. After that? I’m getting out of this craphole and I’ll never see those shitheads again.” 

She could tell he didn’t want to drop it but also didn’t want to push her either. She appreciated that - she hated it when people tried shoving in and telling her what to do. Was it the same for Chris? 

So instead Chris sighed and ran a hand through his short hair as he finished up his cigarette. She glanced at his blond hair - it had hints of red if you looked closely, so it was more of a strawberry blonde. It was buzzed short at the back and sides, but the longer hair on top looked thick and soft. He was still wearing his game clothes and they did little to hide the thick muscular expanse of his chest and arms. As Dio played on the radio, she wondered what Chris might look like in rockstar jeans and a leather jacket like the guys at The Hideout wore. 

Probably just as great as he did in his usual preppy acid-wash jeans and sneakers. 

She tried to imagine herself in the kind of clothes Jackie typically wore (very Molly Ringwald) with her hair brushed and professionally styled, bright eyeshadow smudged around her eyes, eating fucking sushi and cheerleading. Shit, it would be like watching a toad kiss a prince but without the Disney ending. It just wasn’t her. 

Ellie kept her eyes forward on the road like a very very good driver. 

Chris nobley changed the subject. “So what’s this Hellfire about? It’s not actually a satanic cult, right?”

Ellie huffed out a laugh. “I wish. It’s just a club where we play Dungeons and Dragons. It’s like a board game but we use our imaginations. The others built their own characters but I’m Dungeon Master - D&M - so I kind of plan it all out. There’s about seven of us right now, and we just finished a pretty sick campaign called the Curse of Vecna…” she trailed off. “Whoops, sorry. I can kind of get carried away with this stuff.”

“No way, it sounds interesting!” She glanced at him to make sure (again) he wasn’t making fun of her, but yeah, he did look interested. “I’ve heard about it - it’s got elves and goblins and stuff, right? Like Tolkien?”

“Holy crap. You’ve read Tolkien? Don’t tease me now - the Chris Cunningham has a secret nerdy side?”

Chris grinned. “My uncle lent me the books when I was still a kid. Totally loved them. I always wanted to be like Aragorn with a sword and armour…well, right up until my dad saw and tossed them out in the trash. Didn’t line up with his grand plan for me.” 

“Plan?”

“Yeah…my parents are pretty strict. They - uh - have my whole life planned out for me, you know?”

Ellie didn’t know. Her parents didn’t even have plans for their own lives, let alone a kid they never wanted. She knew she wanted to leave Hawkins but after that? Life was fuzzy. 

“Well...if you ever want to sit in on a game and watch, I can probably convince the girls you aren’t a spy. You’d be more than welcome. It’s usually on the night you have practice though.” 

“Well… maybe one day I can flake? I’d like to watch you. Play, I mean. I’d like to watch you play,” he coughed. “It’s really cool how you look after those freshmen - they seem to really look up to you - makes me think you might be a softie underneath, Ellie.” 

Ellie fucking cackled. “No no no. That’s too much now. First you want to buy drugs, then you offer to ditch sports to watch my nerdy game, and now telling me I’m a softie when you’re basically a walking teddy bear? Are you even a jock? I thought all you meatheads lived and breathed school spirit, right? My dumb perception of high school is being massacred.”

But actually there did seem to be a hell of a lot more to Chris then she could’ve ever guessed. Hidden layers, and all that. 

“Maybe I’m more than a cliche. Right, Munson?” 

And he gave her such a deliberate look that she sniggered and shook her head. Point very well made. She noticed a faint scattering of freckles on his nose and cheeks that really suited him. 

“Well… you got me there.”

She turned off the main road towards Forest Hills and now Metallica blasted out of the speakers. They were quiet for a little bit but it wasn’t awkward. 

“Seriously, thank you for this,” Chris suddenly said. “I feel…more normal…more awake…than I have for weeks.” 

Ellie smiled, and this time it was friendly and yeah soft. Damn it. 

“This is such a weird fucking day.”

**

Ellie pulled up outside her trailer and Chris slid out somewhat nervously. He’d never been to Forest Hills trailer park before and wasn’t sure what to expect. His parents and Jackie made it out to be some cesspit of evil - “a place filled with drunks, degenerates, single parents” - but all he saw was the soft glow of lights as families ate their dinners and settled down for the evening. Little Ellie Munson switched off the ignition, shouldered her backpack (heavy with D&D journals), and waved for him to follow as she found her door key. She told him this was her castle and he found himself smiling, once again at ease. 

(he almost offered to carry her bag but her lunchtime rants indicated she might see this as patronising. He’d felt like a total idiot earlier when he held the door open and she’d carefully arched an eyebrow.)

Jackie always expected these things of him and got royally pissed if he forgot. It would be nice to offer for once without it being demanded. 

Ellie told him her aunt Wendy was working a night shift so they’d have some privacy. 

He blushed, eyeing the neighbouring trailer quickly to see if anyone was spying through the curtains (his mom would be). “What about your folks?” he found himself asking, following her inside. 

“Oh they split ages ago. Pops found himself a new shiny family, and I think mom’s still in jail? She could be dead in a ditch somewhere, for all I know. They don’t exactly keep in touch,” she said, shrugging. “Want something to drink? Beer, coffee, water?”

She spoke like none of it mattered but her shrug was a little too casual. 

“Uh…water would be great.” 

Inside the trailer wasn’t what he’d expected at all. It was small, sure, but clean and neat. It was also really homely looking. Plenty of bright pictures on the walls, dollar store knick knacks decorating the sides, squashy cushions on the couch. Her aunt must really like teapots because there was a whole wall dedicated to her collection. He compared it to his own sterile home which looked more like a showroom. 

Ellie dropped her bag on the couch and toed off her big boots in the middle of the room. Chris did the same only he lined his sneakers up neatly by the door (a habit). She passed him a bottle of water from the fridge. 

“You never worry about being home alone so much? Is it…safe?” 

“Yeah, it’s alright here and I can always run over to Mr Mayfield’s if there’s an emergency. He’s over in the trailer opposite,” she added, fiddling with the radio so music started playing. “Besides, when I’m on my lonesome I can play whatever music I want. Helps me relax, you know? And concentrate.” 

“Seriously? That blows my brain. I need, like, total silence to read or study. I’d love some time on my own but my schedule’s real tight. There’s always something to do, or someone wanting something.” He caught her looking at him. “Yeah I know, poor little rich boy. I sound like an asshole.” 

“Everyone’s got issues,” she shrugged. She gestured for him to take a seat and tucked some of her wild hair back behind her ear. He wondered if it felt as springy as it looked. “Make yourself at home, okay? I’ll go get the Special K.” 

She went back to what was presumably her bedroom and Chris took a sip of the water. The music coming out of the radio wasn’t Ellie’s usual madness, maybe it was a station her aunt liked? 

Tick. 

Christ, really? His head had been blissfully quiet ever since meeting with Ellie. Her noise and bustle, her liveliness, had been like a balm to his nerves. 

He found himself bouncing his leg. He tried to take a deep breath. 

Tick. 

“How long will it take to work?” he called, trying to distract himself. 

“Depends on if you…snort it or not. If you snort it…then yeah, it’ll work pretty quick,” she said when she came back. She was biting her bottom lip and holding a bag of something that looked like powder. “Look, I’m going to break one of my infamous rules right now, but I have to ask…have you ever done anything like this before? Kind of worried you’re going to spiral and get into some serious trouble. You can do it here if you want? Then at least I’ll be around to keep an eye out. My aunt won’t be back until tomorrow morning.” 

Again it kind of sounded like Ellie actually cared (or at least she didn’t want him to die in a K-Hole). Her offer relieved some of the tension in his shoulders and he nodded gratefully. 

“She won’t mind you having a boy here?”

Ellie actually laughed out loud at that and even snorted. His mouth twitched into a grin. She joined him on the couch - though left a deliberate space in between. 

She’d shrugged off her jacket by now and wore only the black and white Hellfire shirt and jeans. He could see another tattoo winding along her elbow that looked like bats. He wondered if she did them herself or went to the one parlour in town (run by an ex-biker who looked gruff and shady). Didn’t her aunt mind? 

But then Ellie was nineteen, a year older than him. She was legally allowed to lift her shirt and have whoever she wanted ink her skin. 

“She’d never believe me,” Ellie chuckled, dragging his thoughts back into the room. “I don’t have guys ‘round here ever.” 

“No way…really?” Chris raised his eyebrows. “No boyfriend or anything?” 

He pictured some tall shaggy haired guy with biker boots and tattoos. He’d have to be in a band (maybe they practised together?) and wear the same style of silver jewellery she did (now he thought about it - those big rings probably were his). He’d smoke pot and read Dune and tell people loudly to fuck off if they bothered him. A guy who could go to The Hideout every week and watch her play, and cheer and hangbang like her own weird cheerleader. The kind of guy, in short, that Chris definitely was not. 

He suddenly thought about himself standing beside Ellie with his arm tight around her shoulders. She was so small that he could easily tuck her against his side, and then he would run his fingers through that wild mane of hair. Jackie rarely smiled when they were together (or at all unless there was an audience) but he could easily imagine kissing Ellie’s grin. 

Not that she would ever let him. She seemed to like him okay, but he would never be the guy in biker boots. She probably had posters pinned up in her bedroom of rockstars and ‘bad boy’ movie stars. Girls like her went for the Judd Nelson’s - not the Emilio Estevez’. 

“Boyfriend? Me? Yeah right, Cunningham. I’m the last girl at school any guy would willingly hang out with, except maybe as a bet.” 

“That’s crazy.” The words left his mouth before he realised it and he blushed, but didn’t want to take them back either. “I mean…yeah, you’re a little different, but you’re cute as hell. Your hair is incredible and that smile? Hell, it’s beautiful.” 

Her eyes widened and he noticed how warm and brown they were. She was blushing too and it somehow suited her. He felt a little twitch of - what, pride? - that he could make Ellie react like that. 

(this was the girl who flipped off (judgy) Mr O'Donnell when he tried making her read her essay out loud, tied her own bra to the flagpole during morning assembly, who got cool tattoos from scary bikers, and stood on lunchroom tables to declare loudly liberal feminism was the only way to go and Reagan could suck it.) 

“You’re crazy. I’m the freak, remember? I know people don’t like me, they don’t ever pick me, but it’s okay. I’m used to it.” 

She was so brutally honest that it nearly knocked the air from his lungs, but then honesty seemed to be what you got with Ellie Munson. She might keep some things close to her chest, but there was no bullshit, no lying, no flattery. It was so fucking refreshing. 

“I don’t think you’re a freak, Ellie, but even if you were…that wouldn’t be so bad, right? You make it look good.”

She tucked a little smile into her shoulder. “Thanks, Cunningham…you’re one of the nice ones.”

“It’s Chris, and you’re welcome.”

Another song came on the radio - some kind of old country song that reinforced this was definitely something her aunt listened to. It reminded him of the stuff his grandad used to put on.

“And you’re in a band, right? That’s awesome.”

“Don’t tell me you're a secret fan of Joan Jett,” she laughed, somewhat shakily. “Jess from the band keeps suggesting we buzz our hair.” 

“Debbie Harry actually. Had a poster up on my wall before my mom ripped it down and called me a pervert.” 

“That is perverted behaviour,” Ellie joked. “Glad she did. Rock music is a gateway to drugs and sex and all kinds of debauchery. Look what happened to me. Can’t have you succumbing to the dark side now.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s pretty scary. I take back all my earlier words. You keep all that Sith crap away from me. I’m all Jedi.”

He saw her silently mouth the word ‘Jedi’. 

“...after Aragorn I kind of loved playing as Luke Skywalker in the backyard with a rolled up newspaper as my lightsaber,” he winced. “Please keep that tidbit extremely super secret, Munson, and yes, I was a kid.” 

He never spoke to Jackie like this, but with Ellie it was too effortlessly easy to slip into this playful persona. She was so honest that it kind of dragged it out of him too. 

“God, think I’m in love,” Ellie said after a few seconds and threw her head back against the couch cushion. She placed a hand above her heart dramatically. “My whole life has led to this pivotal moment.”

Tick. 

Chris couldn’t help but flinch again when he heard the ticking noise and this time Ellie stared at him, sitting up. 

“Okay…so I’m definitely breaking rule three again…what’s going on with you, Chris? Why do you need drugs this bad? Are you in some kind of trouble?”

“Honestly?” Ellie nodded. “I think I’m going crazy. Been having these nightmares and seeing stuff for weeks now and I’m losing it. It started as just weird noises and ticking and nightmares, then I saw spiders crawling over Mr Kelley’s face in his office. I freaked out, Ellie. I ran away because I thought I’d be safer with people around, you know? But then that happened…and I still keep seeing them. Doesn’t matter if I’m alone or in the middle of class or sitting right here with you. I keep hearing the ticking noise - it’s like it's chasing me.” 

Chris sat forwards and ran his hands through his hair, willing himself to get a grip. 

“And the nightmares?” Ellie asked quietly. “What happens in those?” 

“It’s usually my parents. Mom and dad. Mom will be strung out on Valium in bed with her mouth stitched up, or laying in a puddle of her own sick by the sink. Sometimes it’s my little sister lying there instead. It happens every time and I can’t do anything to help her. My dad…he fucking stalks me like a ghoul. He used to treat me bad, Ellie, punishing me with food when he thought I was looking too thin or too fat. He used to smack me about until I got taller than him, so then he started picking on me…which goddamn hurt more. My dad - the ghoul in the nightmares - is always telling me I’m useless, I’m an embarrassment, saying I’m letting everyone down. It’s like…all the stuff I’m already feeling, you know? But having it thrown in my face every night…it’s exhausting.” 

His words came out in a rush. Ellie had drawn closer and placed a small tentative hand on his knee. Instead of feeling embarrassed by the action - or pitied - it made him feel safe and seen. 

“How can you possibly let anyone down? You’re, like, the most perfect guy ever,” she murmured. “Can’t you talk to anyone about this? You know, Jackie or a friend?” 

“They aren’t interested in crazy, Ellie. If something doesn’t fit right in their perfect little world then they don’t wanna know. Trust me. Jackie doesn’t do…feelings...unless they’re her own. I can’t talk to her about any of this real stuff. And my friends? They’d just tell me to man up, buy some weed, and get over it before the next big game.” 

Ellie looked like she wanted to say some very choice words but was trying hard to put a leash on it.��

“What about a teacher or your coach? Mr Kelley? I know I’m the last person to willingly talk to authority figures and as a rule they all suck, but this sounds serious, it’s really hurting you. And your parents…they…well sorry, but they sound like total assholes. Especially your dad.”

Chris found himself laughing at that. His dad was one of those untouchable pricks who used money and bullying to gain respect and unfortunately it worked every time. No one ever challenged him or called him an asshole like that. “He is an asshole.” God, even saying it was awesome, even if a little scary. 

“You could…” Ellie was biting her lip again. “I don’t know…leave? You’re eighteen, right? Do you have any family you could stay with?”

“If I left I’d be saying goodbye to scholarships, college, there’s no way I’d graduate. My father would do his best to wreck my whole life if I don’t fall in line,” he responded bitterly. “And besides…I can’t leave my sister alone with them. As long as he’s using me as his punching bag, he can’t turn his attention to her. Can you imagine the kind of crap they’d say to her?”

Chris sighed. He placed his hand on top of Ellie’s on his knee and the coolness of her fingers (and rings) helped pull him back down to the world. 

“I’m sorry to just lay this on you, Ellie. Seriously. You’ve been amazing helping me out tonight, and I’m just messing everything up like usual. You don’t need to hear about all this crazy shit and my nightmares. You’re a good listener, you know that?”

“It’s been said,” she smiled weakly. 

“Do you think I'm losing it?”

Anyone else might’ve said, yeah you sound crazy Chris, but Ellie simply shrugged. She squeezed his hand. “I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re going through it right now and bottling it up, but you aren’t insane. You’ve got a right to feel your feelings. And I…I don’t mind listening. If it helps. You’ve made my night a little less lonely.” 

Chris looked over at her and felt like he could drown in the warmth and kindness in her eyes. It wasn’t something he ever expected to find there, but he found himself drinking it in. Ellie too seemed to be searching for something in his expression, her eyes flickering over his eyes, his nose, his mouth. 

It would be all too easy to tug her hand and close the distance. To nestle his face in the crook of her neck and inhale the strawberry shampoo she used. 

**

But Ellie suddenly stood up and she clapped her hands. “Okay, you know what? No Ket. That’s now removed from the table. I’m going to roll us a joint using the good stuff I save for myself  - and we’re going to get high and talk about it all, okay? Really lay it on me, Chriss, no bullshit or pretending. Then I’ll make some grilled cheese sandwiches and we’ll feast and come up with a plan of defence, right?” 

Chris looked surprised but as she spoke a grin settled back across his lips. He really did have one killer smile. 

“You’re on, weird girl.” 

Before she went back to her room for the weed, she found herself hesitating for a moment. She tapped her fingers against the doorway. “Sorry for calling you a meathead earlier and being a dick about the game. You said about it meaning more to you than just scoring goals - and how you enjoy the feeling of working together to achieve something. Way you describe it, it kind of reminded me of Hellfire a little bit and why I like it so much. Guess we both like being part of something…” 

See? Genuine nice comment. Chris seemed to think so because he flushed bright pink. Obviously her sneaky brain had to ruin it by adding, “...we’re big damn losers, am I right?”

She hurried back to her bedroom and stashed the ket securely beneath her bed. Instead she scooped out a tin from the desk drawer where she kept the high quality stuff she bought directly from Reefer Rita. There’d be enough here for maybe three joints and she was betting Chris would only need one to feel buzzed (even though he was big, it was obviously still his first time - she’d have to walk him through it so he didn’t hack his lungs out). 

She glanced at her mirror on the way out and adjusted her shirt. She thought about dragging a brush through her hair but weirdly Chris actually seemed to like it wild? 

She had to pinch her arm. The Chris Cunningham was in her lounge and they were going to get high together. Chris Cunningham (who it turns out is a secret nerd and thinks she’s cute) actually/incredibly/unbelievably seemed to like her enough to confess about his messed up family and nightmares. 

(Nobody had ever called her beautiful before. Not even her dad or mom or aunt). 

She should probably go and buy a lottery ticket, all things considered. 

She steadied herself before she went back through. She felt like a Mage on a quest to solve the riddle of the Cunningham Curse. Sure, she didn’t know how to solve spooky haunting nightmares and banish abusive parents (she assumed kidnapping was out of the question) but she could listen and offer what little support she could muster. 

And Chris was dealing with this every single day because of bullshit toxic masculinity and societal pressure which forced the poor guy to feel he had to shoulder it alone. 

Well that could get fucked. 

“Here we go…As promised, first class pot…Chris?”

Chris was standing very still in the middle of the lounge and as she stepped closer she could see his face had turned a ghostly white. She peered up and saw that his eyes were twitching. 

“Hey Chris?” Ellie gently tugged on the green sleeve of his letterman jacket. “Come on, you’re scaring me.”

But he wasn’t listening. God, was he having a seizure? A stroke? She needed to call an ambulance. The lights in the trailer began to flash and she felt the uneasy uncurling of terror in her stomach. 

“Chris, please wake up! I don’t like this, please! Say something!” 

When he began to rise up in the air, Ellie screamed and fell back on the floor. “Fucking hell!” 

This was no seizure or fucking stroke. Something really bad was happening. 

Chris began floating higher and higher. His whole face was blank - completely void of anything. Then he shot up and his whole body slammed against the trailer ceiling.

“CHRIS!” 

Ellie scrambled back and as she did so, she knocked the radio off the side and the volume rose. Some stupid country song began blaring out at full volume. 

Ellie was crying, screaming, gasping for breath. This was like something out of a horror film, only much much worse. She couldn’t just switch this off or hide under a blanket. 

She nearly threw up when Chris’ left arm suddenly snapped like it was no more than a twig. 

“No!” she sobbed. “Chris! Stop this please. I’m scared, please! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!” 

(remember that well-honed ability to pick her fights? To choose to fight or fly?)

She clambered to her feet somehow and stepped up onto the coffee table, reaching up as high as she could to grab at him. She managed to wrap her hands around the lining of his jacket and she pulled with all her might, but he didn’t shift an inch. It was like playing tug-of-war against a mountain. 

“Chris!” she screamed. “Please! Stop this!”

And then - miraculously - the lights stopped flashing. 

And Chris awoke with a shuddering gasp, and fell right on top of her. 

Ellie’s legs buckled beneath her as they tumbled down onto the table with a loud crash. She landed right under him, catching the full brunt of his weight, and tried to ignore the searing pain that came from her ankle as she heaved herself up into a sitting position. 

She groaned as she managed to roll Chris over onto his back. His head was cradled in her lap. 

She pressed her fingers to his neck to feel for a pulse, but her hands were shaking too badly to feel anything. 

“Chris,” she whispered. “Please say something. Please don’t be dead. Can you hear me?” 

She was crying in earnest now and the tears disappeared into his hair. What the fuck was going to happen if he was…Oh my god. 

Chris then suddenly sat up with a cry of terror of his own, making her scream all over again. 

He looked fucking insane, rabid, horrified. His chest was heaving like he’d completed a mile long sprint and every line of his body was tense. His big blue eyes were wide and terrified as he looked around them, surveying the broken table and the radio which was still blaring out music. He seemed to need a moment to remember where he was. Then his eyes came to rest on her and he let out the biggest shuddering breath. He took in the tears racing down her cheeks, the flinch of pain when her ankle throbbed, the mix of raw fear and sweet relief that was written across her features like a goddamn neon sign. 

He was so close that she could feel his entire body shaking. 

And then he was holding her in a hug that was so tight she felt she might explode, but still she twisted her arms up around his shoulders and hung on just as tightly. She could feel him trembling as he cried and tried to convey (in stutteringly split phrases) what the hell just happened, but she couldn’t hear above the ringing in her ears. 

Eventually his grip loosened and she gasped for air. 

This couldn’t be brushed aside as a dream, a nightmare - he was clutching his broken arm to his chest. 

“Chris…you’re really alright?” she mumbled. She was still hanging onto his jacket in case he tried floating away again. “Help me up, need to ring an ambulance…or police…it’s not safe. Hold your arm steady, it’ll need looking at...I think my fucking ankle’s broken.” 

She could hear the faint noise of banging coming from nearby (was it the door?) but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from Chris. 

Chris put a trembling hand to her cheek and wiped away some of the fresh tears with his thumb. 

“Ellie…” he croaked. His voice sounded rough like he’d been screaming too. “Ellie…this is going to sound mad…but something just tried to kill me, and I think you saved me.” 

**

A/N: Psss it's definitely The Party at the door, ready to spice it all up.

Quick notes:

Yeah Ellie is soft for Chris and he feels safe with her.

Had to tone back some of Ellie's habits because it wouldn't be realistic or safe for her to do some of the things guy-Eddie gets up to (though really it's not safe for him either).

I changed it so the cheerleaders are the worst. That's not a commentary on 'girls being bitchy' honestly, it's just the guy jocks wouldn't physically act on their resentment with a girl but the cheerleaders can and would.

Chrissy has shown she's a nice person and would feel protective of Eddie in danger - same thing for Chris only as a beefcake guy he's able to express this more literally (as in Ellie going to the Hideout).

Yeah the prototype for Ellie's fictional boyfriend is basically Eddie and vice versa.

Did I want them to kiss? Fuck yes, but maybe if I ever do a part 2. Didn't seem to flow here and really Chris wouldn't make that move. He'd be worried about taking advantage and is keenly aware how it looks that he's alone with Ellie in the trailer. It's about the implication, guys.

Girl Eddie would be scrawny and small, I think. Chrissy is super fit and strong because of her cheerleading so it makes sense Chris would be the same.

Do I like the Breakfast Club? Yeah, a bit, but that ending was crap.

I will not do a 'She's all That' with Ellie. Fuck no.

If I do a part 2 then forgive me for the shit switching of names. Honestly - what would Nancy even be?

#chrissy x eddie #edssy #hellcheer #eddissy #eddie munson #eddie x chrissy #hellcheer headcanons #hellcheer fanfic #ymaohoh #chrissy cunningham x eddie munson #chrissy cunningham #eddissy fanfiction

[arttrampbelle]

Disney villain confessions:

Fave Disney villain and why: look it's really really hard to choose. But if i had to. Judge claude frollo. Simply because let's be honest. We will NEVER get a villain like that ever again. Dark,real,raw,and complex af. He's not enjoying being a villain let alone thinking he is one. One could argue he is a victim of the very faith he claims. Ah yes. That guilt be thicc boiz! But anyways,i feel he deserves the top spot because solely of the simplicity in the character and the fact he is ironically the most human in his downfall,his motives,his anger. And that my dears is what is terrifying.

The most closest to him in my fave list is hades but that's because he is the closest to his actual mythos counterpart. Chill,funny,just wants to do his job and everyone is making that a problem for some reason. Because some douchebag son of zuse wanted to show off and be a heroic epic. Thats it. The grand scheme of disneys Hercules is funny af if you really think about it. And meg,honey,he's cute and nice and all that but really?! But it's funny more so because greek mythos is kinda ridiculous too. But ya know.

Oh and captain hook. But more so the character in the movie hook. So damn good. R.i.p robin williams. I love you and miss you so much. He was like a childhood friend to me and i cried when i heard of his passing. Plz in all seriousness,check on your loved ones. Advocate for better mental health care. But back to disneys hook in peter pan. He was fun. Just plain fun to me. It was the feeling on playing on a playground,and that was the point. Tho it could get twisted and dark real quick. Oof. But as for overall. He's fun. I think he's neat and charming.

Scar. Oh my god,Jeremy irons. Legit blew his voice out for this character. Great villain. 10 outta 10.

All the lady Disney villains absolutely kill it but we already knew. Cept mother gothel to me. I feel she's redundant. Cool character,fun. But overall redundant in the grand scheme of things. At least compared to other villains,motives and overall vibe. *shrug* i dont hate her. I just feel she's pointless. Dont hate me plz.

But sadly as all the villains are great. Frollo is my top one.

Now onto my least favorite disney villain:

Gaston. Yeah. I mean he served his purpose. His role. But he's the least appealing of the classic villains. As for any new villains? Nah none of them are as appealing as the classics. They are golden years and renaissance for a reason. you just dont see any oomf to disney villains anymore. Hans is a close 2nd. It's legit just gaston but "pretty" and frozen and motives are weak. Gaston is at least upfront. We know what he's about. But overall I'd punt him into the sun. Hell i feel a lot of Disney villains would find this guy obnoxious and eff him up on spot. I feel it would even make frollo,the most repressed man alive,pissed off and defending belle from this douche. Frollo ffs. Just saying in hypothetical. Look it's no shade to gaston stans and enjoyer. He's a great villain. But he's the least appealing because to me,he's slightly boring but he serves his purpose so i can't hate 100% either. But hans? Nah nobody likes him. Nobody i know.

Again these are just my opinions. No shade to any Disney villain truly. But i neeeeeed oomf,that spice,that charisma,that je ne sais quoi so to speak. I need tragedy,comedy,and either a simple to follow motive or something so complex and straightforward it's believable. Which comes to my point. MAKE THE BULLSHIT BELIEVABLE!!!

Which is why we dont see many disney villains that are appealing anymore.

Now onto fave Disney villains songs.

Omg too many!

Helfire still ranks as my most fave a chilling song.

Poor unfortunate souls. Hell yeah Ursula my girl killed that! Love you sweetheart.

Be prepared. Once again. Jeremy irons rules.

I got friends on the other side. Princess and the frog. Underrated af. And that song is catchy and i love jazz. Lousiana. And this soul that is put into this song? Absolutely delicious.

Overall. I absolutely love Disney villains. And honestly. I loved them more than the princesses. Sorry. But definitely more than most disney princes. Until naveen,i didn't care for any of em really. Maybe beast but more so as beast so it doesn't count. And yes,some that aren't "official" princesses,i count as princesses. Because they are to me. And disney can suck it for that. But yeah naveen was fun,simple,cute,and he actually got character development in the movie. Pretty sweet. The only disney prince i felt earned his princess. That's the gospel truth. Hee hee.

Ok anyways im done ranting and raving about Disney villains.

#disney villains #Disney villain #disney villain f/o #my disney villain faves #my disney villain f/o is frollo so yeah im a but bias but ya know he's a good villain ok?!

[checkoutmybookshelf]

...Someone Get Me Back on the Ice

Ok, for a lot of reasons, I was never a competetive athlete. That said...I am Canadian and I was probably 3 or 4 years old when my grandparents bought me my first pair of skates and my parents took me to the (manmade) kiddie rink in the park to teach me to skate. My middle sister and I had skating lessons for a few years, our parents took us skating pretty often growing up, and when we moved into the big house in Alaska, we had a pond out back that we skated (and burned christmas trees--yes, it was always awesome) on every winter until I left the state. And even when I moved back to Canada, I brought my skates with me and still use the arenas and outdoor town square rink in the winter. All this to say that while I'm never going to be an Olympian, I deeply love skating, so when there was a cozy college skating romance between a figure skater and a hockey team captain...it was not a hard sell. And then I was absolutely delighted by this cozy, fluffy, very skate-y book. Let's talk Icebreaker.

CONTENT WARNING: I'm not going to cover much of this here, but if anyone wants to pick up this book, please be aware that it does contain disordered eating, a super controlling/abusive relationship, and a near-death experience, so take care of you when choosing your books!

The very last thing Anastasia Allen wants to do right before sectionals is be forced to share her rink with a hockey team. Then she gets adopted by a bunch of overgrown man-children with hearts of gold who enjoy body-slamming other overgrown man-children into the boards over a puck. It is possibly the most adorable thing I have ever seen, and it is the best possible embodiment of the healthy, non-toxic version of "boys will be boys" insofar as the team just genuinely love and support each other and make space for Anastasia and Lola in that world with care, respect, and joy. I love it so, so much.

Of course, Anastasia is not here just to be adopted by a hockey team. She's also very much in danger of falling deeply in love with Nate Hawkins, captain of said hockey team. Nate and Anastasia are a genuinely darling, adorable couple, and watching them together was just FUN.

Particularly in contrast to Anastasia's relationship with her skating partner, Aaron. Who is--to put it mildly--the biggest most manipulative toxic douchebag I have ever seen. There's something about his and Anastasia's relationship that managed to embody everything that can go horribly toxic with athletic partnerships and how difficult it can be when your dream relies on someone who is actively trying to drag you down.

The super nice thing though, is that Aaron is absolutely the bad guy in this book. Neither Nate nor Ryan (the adorable himbo basketball player she begins the book in a friends-with-benefits arrangement with) descend to Aaron's level. They are there to support Anaastasia. That doesn't mean they don't get angry or jealous--they're human men in their late teens/early 20s, of COURSE they get angry and jealous--but they deal with those emotions pretty freaking healthily, and they don't descend into petty ego-based bullshit. Add that to Anastasia's therapy-honed communication skills, and the relationships in this book are just so well done. Sometimes relationships in romances can get weirdly toxic for drama, but that's not the case here, which made this cozy romance GENUINELY delightful to read.

The side characters are also super well-developed and full of personality, so everyone in this book feels well-rounded, real, and delightful. From Lola to Henry, Robbie, Russ, and JJ, you get to know an ensemble of strong secondary characters in the context of the main romantic relationship, and Anastasia and Henry's platonic love for each other might be the best platonic relationship I've seen in FOREVER. I would 100% read a spinoff novel about those two buddy-ing around.

Author Hannah Grace is a self-proclaimed "fluffy comfort book writer," and if Icebreaker is any example, then ACCURATE. And I cannot recommend this book enough, it was a delight to read from start to finish.

#hannah grace #icebreaker #stas and nate #cozy romance #sport romance #ice skating #college romance #books and reading #books & libraries #books and novels #books #book recommendations

[ladymirdan]

This is an attempt to make a comprehensive reading list for everything Cato Sicarius.

I'm going to put the books in the (in my opinion) best order to read them. So if you want a slice of Ultramarine perfection, look no further.

Assault on black reach - This is a great Sicarius book. While he himself does not have a lot of scenes in it, the ones he got are bangers. There is soo much Ultramarine gossip going on in the background (who will you support, Agemman or Sicarius?) and it's easy to follow even for a beginner 40k-fan.And they are fighting orks. Orks are always fun. 10/10

Consequences - BL have retconned this book in newer editions but Pytheas used to be Sicarius (and I find that absolutely fucking stupid). It's not a good representation of him but it is a fascinating story when you consider that Calgar, Agemman, Sicarius and Tigurius conspired together to scapegoat their newest captain just for the lulz. 6/10

Chapters Due - Haven't read the entire book except for the Sicarius scenes, but they are really good (except for one scene where he is a complete out of character moron in front of Calgar). Can't judge the book in its entirety yet but I will get there someday.

Two Kinds of Fool - Agemman and Sicarius compare penis sizes for 34 pages. 7/10 Fun times but not special.

Damnos - This is a big story split into two books that should have been a short story/novel. It drags on for way too long, there is way too much padding that no one cares about. It is super obvious they told the author to mix in some human characters to spice it up but he really didn't want to so they suck. Annoyingly enough it also has some the best Sicarius scenes ever written mixed in there. I want to recommend it but please be aware that this is a long and very uneven book to read. 5/10

Veil of Darkness - This book is going to rub some people the wrong way. It has first-person perspective Sicarius, and he acts like an absolute douchebag the entire book. I think it slaps. This is where the “I Cato Sicarius meme” comes from. 10/10 would recommend if you love Cato’s chaotic ADHD-energy. 9/10

Blades of Damocles - A great fucking book in its own right. Another baby Sicarius story, back from when he was a sergeant. Excellent interactions between him and his fellow marines. I think this is better to read this after the Damnos books because that will really give perspective on how he hasn't really changed his behaviour, he has only gotten better by surrounding himself with people who can keep up with his tempo. But it works either way. This book also contains captain Numitor who is a real fucking treasure and it's a crime that there aren't more books about him. 9/10

Brethren - Eh, don't bother. A pointless battle story, that tells you nothing of the character 3/10

Knight of Talassar - One of the best Sicarius stories. It is only featured in the Ultramarines anthology so if you want it, make sure you haven't already bought the rest of the Sicarius stories in there. It's about a young Sicarius, he has just been made captain. It is an action heavy story with him fighting orks. He has Krieg guardsmen fighting alongside him and they complement each other perfectly. It is absolutely wonderful to see him basically say “hey guys, can we not be so reckless for a few seconds��. 10/10

Cato Sicarius: Master of the Watch - The fact that BL has the audacity to charge money for this upsets me. Completely pointless short story. Even I who get off on the mere mention of Sicarius wouldn't bother with this. Literally nothing happens. He walks around injured for a while, and then someone else fights off nids. The End. Fuck this story. 2/10

Warlords of the dark Millenium - Sicarius - This is basically a small Sicarius codex with stats and such. But it is really old and over the top. It has some really short stories and they are absolutely delightfully dumb and have Sicarius being bonkers overpowered. This is the closest to the TTS-Sicarius. If you love Sicarius it's a must-read, but note that it’s written in the style of a 14-year-old with a battle-boner. 8/10

Knights of Macragge - This is one of the absolute best Sicarius books. But I would recommend waiting to read it until you've finished everything before on the list for maximum emotional impact. I don't want to spoil too much. It also has him walking around half the book without his armour, buff tattoed arms showing and that is magical. 8/10

The Armour of Fate - This book is so fucking cute. Both Guilliman and Sicarius are awkward nerds with a top tier charisma stat that blows people away, but put together alone in the same room they cancel each other out and are just awkward together and it's great. It has a scene that is basically “Daaad you're embarrassing meee.” and I live for it. 8/10

Dark Imperium trilogy - Yes! Angry, PTSD, nihilistic Cato who has been taught manners by Guilliman so now he only fantasises about being an asshole instead of saying that shit out loud. He is great, and the books are great. 9/10

I probably missed some things but please tell me in the comments and I’ll update the list.

#warhammer 40k #ultramarines #codex compliant #cato sicarius #40k #book review #roboute guilliman #grimdark #black library #nick kyme #guy hailey #i cato sicarius #comprehensive sicarius reading list #fanfiction

[findingtheperfectcharacter]

Hm… Thinking about Penny from Dr. HORRIBLE’S Sing Along Blog- and the video The Problem With Penny… And The Post about how male characters are viewed in a Darwinian way (given more depth by the people who view a work then given in the text) and woman are viewed in a Watsonian way (the text is all there is and their inner life is never thought about.) and the Homeless part of the plot.

The tl;dr is Penny is distinct and important as a character by the way she interacts with things outside of this ego driven love triangle and has pretty fair motives about dating Hammer actually

Penny’s quest to help the Homeless is her Primary motivation, it’s the first thing we see her do that isn’t part of a memory or Billy’s fantasy. Caring Hands is her I Want song. And Billy’s interaction with this part of her life is… Not to give a shit. No literally, he’s so busy trying to get the Wonderflonium that he spends most of the conversation ignoring her trying to have an actual conversation with him about the subject, and in the short bit where he is listening he talks down to her, ‘you’re trying to help the homeless? Well that doesn’t matter because they’re a symptom of the disease that is Society (tm).’ And she’s like. ‘Cool cool, I’m all for revolution. Can you sign anyway? Oh cool, thanks. You seem distracted :/. bye.’

She pretty much admits in the laundromat scene that she didn’t actually insta fall in love with Captain Hammer, just thought he was hot In and went on a first date…

To a Soup Kitchen. Where the two of them interacted with the homeless, and that’s when she discovered his ‘hidden depths’ ‘he seemed kind of cheesy at first, but then I found out he was sweet.’ She likes him- not because he’s a big fuckable alpha male- because he’s nice enough to her and at least pretends to care about the thing she does.

Speaking of which- the next thing he does. He gives her the one thing she’s wanted this entire goddamn movie: That building to be turned into a Homeless shelter.He’s a guy who’s nice to her, pretends to share her interests and helps her achieve her goals… As an audience we know that Hammer’s a douchebag, but from her perspective at this point it makes total sense to like him.

We don’t get a full backstory for Penny yeah, but Penny’s song actually does give us a why. ‘Grief replaced with Pity/for a city barely coping/dreams are easy to achieve/if hope is all I’m hoping to be/anytime you hurt there’s one who has it worse around.’ While going through her shit and believing that the world was cruel and she’d never find love or happiness, she looked around and noticed that there were people deeply suffering and realized- even if things are bad for her- she could still be a source of happiness and a beacon of hope for others in the world who are suffering.

Meanwhile the plot continues to show these two jackasses using the suffering of others as a way to get laid. Like Hammer doesn’t give a shit about the homeless, but is willing to help them to get in Penny’s pants and spite Billy. Billy doesn’t give a shit, he stops the ceremony to give them the shelter to do some selfish vengeance ‘ohhh look Hammer’s disguise as a nice guy is slipping. Look at your hero now’ he says while shooting his death ray gun around. And like… This was a thing Penny cared about. And he ruined it for his ego. Despite his lofty claims of revolution he has no actual goal beyond having the biggest dick in the room.

I’d actually argue that Penny is an extremely important character in this story, because she was the only person who actually gave a shit about the world around her. The only person who sought to create actual change. And was killed by a man who screamed revolution while holding no philosophy.

#dr horrible #Penny

[airyairyaucontraire]

Watching The Mandalorian S3EIforget, "The Pirate"

Okay, 44 minutes of a show that's rapidly losing my allegiance, not for being offensive or brutal, just for being kind of dumb and palpably losing interest in its title character. Let's go then.

If this show was going to go with pirates while also being addicted to re-introducing characters from the CG TV shows, I really feel they could've graced our screens with Hondo Ohnaka. But I fundamentally don't want them to keep bringing in characters from the CG shows. The only exception I would make is Rex, because Temuera Morrison, but I would rather still have more Boba, because also Temuera Morrison.

They haven't even tried to re-member the dismembered IG-11 statue.

shiny ass-kissing droid

and now there are pirates

and I just feel like a man in Greef's position -

actually speaking of Greef's position, I love how before skyping the mossy pirate captain, he squares up and puts his hands on his hips like Henry VIII posing for Holbein

- okay, a man in Greef's position, formerly deeply involved with the bounty hunters' guild, ought to have a staff of mercenaries on site in readiness for shit like this. Instead he's as unprepared for the possibility of bad guys with a big ship showing up wanting to take his stuff as Boba was on Tatooine. Presenting these middle-aged guys who have been involved in the underbelly of the galaxy for their whole adult lives as so naïve about the security challenges of running one's own fiefdom during a somewhat lawless period of regime change is such a bizarre choice. Why is everyone in this show so dumb about stuff they should be totally used to? They're not Luke Skywalker coming from the middle of nowhere with starry eyes and feathered hair. Like they should be smarter than me at this type of thing, and I'm a typist from Auckland.

there's a PIRATE NATION taking over the Mid Rim? THAT I ACTUALLY AM SEMI-INTERESTED IN so I bet they won't show it.

Retreat to the lava flats - a large, open area without shelter or cover. Super.

exsqueeze me, Disney+ subtitler, but PSYCHEDELIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING?

well, the krill farmers are still pumping out the blue juice, I see. And here's a nice Korean Canadian dad - you know what? I feel like Captain Teva is here to provide the Papa Smurf beard that Rex is not onscreen to give us.

Okay, so just as apparently Ragnar just hung out in a dinosaur's crop totally uninjured for 12 hours minimum while a search party stopped to rest overnight on their way to him, Mr Kim has time to travel to Coruscant and try to get a meeting with his superiors while Nevarro is under active pirate attack. He doesn't say "screw it, time is of the essence, I'll render aid and take the consequences." This show's idea of time in rescue situations is bizarre.

Who else feels like this fucking boring New Republic plotline was supposed to be part of the Rangers show that presumably Cara Dune would have headed up if the actress hadn't insisted on being a douchebag on Twitter? And now they're just trying to fold it into The Mandalorian. I resent it.

You know, when I heard the name Tuttle I had a brief feverish flowering of hope that a M*A*S*H tribute about the insanity of military bureaucracy might be in the works, but then it withered.

I know this guy from somewhere, somewhere relatively recent, but I am unable to place him. I am not interested enough to look him up.

I'm so irritated by the lazy cynicism of "If the Rebellion got into power they'd be useless." They're not the Democrats.

so now everyone's just wandering around in the blazing sunlight on hot black lava flats. Sorry Greef, your planet sucks.

And now... is this Jurassic Planet? yep, so I hope he doesn't get eaten by a serpent while he's here. Dude. Sir. You're standing so close to the bay that the mosasaurs like to pop out of. You've got your back to it. Please.

please help me

why does Paz address Teva as "Blue Boy"? He is dressed from neck to ankle in the most garish orange. Paz's own armour is predominantly blue. Is he fucking colour-blind?

Why does the Disney+ subtitler still head up Din's dialogue as "THE MANDALORIAN" when we've known for actual years that his name is Din Djarin?

they pride themselves on their secrecy... and their idiocy.

You know, this would never have happened if you'd stuck with your plan of repairing IG-11. He was no snitch.

Din calls him "Blue" too! HE IS DRESSED IN ORANGE

I CANNOT RECALL THE COLOUR BLUE EVER BEING SIGNIFICANTLY ASSOCIATED WITH THE REBELLION OR NEW REPUBLIC

HE HAS SOME BLUE STENCILS ON HIS HELMET BUT HE DELIBERATELY TOOK THAT OFF AND LEFT IT IN HIS SHIP WHEN HE GOT OUT TO PARLEY SO DIN AND PAZ CAN'T SEE IT

anyway BK's doing her swaggery walk again and while we're at it WHO ELSE PROMINENTLY WEARS BLUE?

and now we're going to have a long, leisurely meeting to discuss because what is time? what is urgency?

"and our children can feel what it is to play in the sunlight" - which we already let them do because we take absolutely no safety precautions about living right next to a bay where dinosaurs regularly pop out of the water or swoop from the sky to devour our young

"Does anyone else wish to speak?" No, because we are all just elaborately dressed extras. We know our place.

I'm... skipping stuff.

So the pirates are boozing it up in the school, like they wanted to. I'm happy that someone got what they wanted.

I like that one warthog pirate!

Did a Salacious B. Crumb monkey just tip off the Mandos?

I know they want me to be excited for the big battle, I know they do... I'm just too grumpy. I have a glass of wine, though, so that's good. Recognisable salmon pink in colour, The Ned Pinot Gris 2022 showcases classic aromas of quince, pear drop and vibrant stonefruit. The palate is lush with juicy nectarine and Braeburn flavours supported by an underlying hint of spice that leads to an unctuous ripe finish. A versatile wine when it comes to food matching with its notable fruitiness and gentle acidity. Try pairing this silky wine with succulent chicken thighs added to a creamy, lemon fettuccine pasta sauce.

you know, I don't usually tolerate words like unctuous and succulent being thrust at me by a mere product description, but I'll allow it

So... there wasn't much point to the mossy pirate at all, was there? Unless he bailed out with a parachute, he blowed up.

yes, the Anzellans are very cute. Always a pleasure to see them.

You know why I have a problem with this effort to do a whole thing about Bo-Katan and reuniting Mandalore and everything? It's the problem of trying to link up with the sequels, which were made before The Mandalorian was a consideration and gave absolutely no hint that the Mandalorians were a consideration either. Did they just "retake Mandalore" and then become totally isolationist, neither fighting the First Order nor supporting the Resistance? Did they get wiped out for keeps? Where were they when shit went down? You don't have to engage with that if you're prepared to just tell a small story of one dude and his kid, and a personal saga of family and faith, friendship and love, but once you commit to doing a big political historical story, you've gotta and it seems doomed to be unsatisfactory.

anyway if people are just whipping their helmets off now I reckon Din should pop back to Tatooine and show Cobb his smile

#The Mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian s3 #spoilers #mando critical

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

Netflix Persuasion Trailer Reaction:

I don’t understand why the filmmakers had to make Persuasion more “feminist.” It already IS feminist!! Anne has strong female friends and role models such as Lady Russell and Mrs. Croft that she relies upon. I found it BADASS when Mrs. Croft talked about sailing the world with her husband the admiral, it’s a total contrast to the indoor, sedentary lifestyle of rich Regency ladies. Also Lady Russell is one of Anne’s few friends who supports her while her family ignores her. Significantly Lady Russell is allowed to be flawed too - though her advice is generally sound, she cares too much about social status and and first fails to recognize Captain Wentworth’s merit. In order to have actual FEMINIST female characters, they should be allowed to be flawed because women are people too (duh but to me that’s the point of feminism) who are imperfect yet still deserving of respect.

Why did they have to make Anne Elliot a modern “girl boss” who makes snarky comments? As many others have said this would work for Elizabeth Bennet, but not Anne since she’s more reserved compared to Elizabeth. Also if Anne is a modern girl boss why is she still pining over a man she dismisses as her “ex?” Modern girl bosses don’t need men they hate them!

Persuasion starts off as a sad story because Anne (persuaded by Lady Russell) has given up the chance of love with Wentworth since his social status was lower than her’s. So obviously the forced comedy based on modern jokes doesn’t suit the mood of the story. It doesn’t make sense to have Anne dressing up in a fake mustache to impersonate a caricature of Wentworth because the memory of him and the chance she had to be happy with him brings her pain. In fact she is mortified when he first visits her after 8 years because she’s afraid she looks old and ugly. To me, that is a shrewd commentary on how society values women purely on external beauty rather than their integrity. How is this boring or outdated?

To me, Anne is defined by quiet strength and maturity rather than snarky comments. Anne is feminist because she gains more independence throughout the novel. Initially she has buried her feelings and focused on maintaining the family estate while her family members emotionally neglect her and live beyond their means. She helps others but they don’t appreciate her kindness and ignore her. For example when Louisa Musgrove falls she responds to the situation calmly and quickly while everybody else (including Wentworth) freaks out. She is also intelligent as shown by her discussion of poetry with Captain Harville and her challenging Captain Benwick when he implies women aren’t capable of dedication in long-distance relationships. She also displeases her family by befriending a poorer, yet honest, woman instead of sucking up to an arrogant noble lady. And the real kicker is the ending states that Anne’s domestic work as a Navy wife is equally as important as her husband’s role in the Navy. Please tell me how this isn’t feminist.

The book itself has humor too so there’s no need to add in anachronistic modern jokes that don’t work. Mr. Elliot perfectly fits the rom-com trope of douchebag love interest, and you also have your typical Austen characters like perfectly healthy people who act like invalids and snobby rich people like Anne’s father who is obsessed with his appearance and likes mirrors. We like Austen’s humor because it pokes fun at morally deficient/arrogant people.

Lastly the only good thing about this film is casting Henry Golding as Mr. Elliot. It suits the character, who’s a typical Austen villain in the sense that he’s good looking but deceptive.

#persuasion #jane austen #persuasion 2022 #netflix persuasion #dakota johnson #cosmo jarvis #henry golding #reaction #this adaptation looks pretty shitty #why mess with the book #i’ll give it a chance since this is only a trailer but really it looks bad #persuasion is a feminist novel that was ahead of its time it doesn’t need this stuff #feel free to correct me because I haven’t read the book in a while and this is what I remember off the top of my head #the friends and exes quote drives me mad #anne elliot #frederick wentworth #rant #not sorry for the rant #long post #this film so far deserves all the criticism #how dare they dumb down the book #I don’t like how feminist characters are so flat and have to talk sarcastic to be feminist #why did they turn Anne Elliot into Bridget Jones #I like the Bridget Jones movies but I hate that it reinforces the stereotype of a single woman as emotionally unstable

[daughter-of-melpomene]

INTRODUCING… MY SCREAM ORIGINAL CHARACTER, MOLLY PERBESI

❝ Every high school has one. A rich, popular, bitchy girl who seems to have it all. Usually an only child (unless her daddy remarries a blonde bimbo barely over the legal age and finally gets the son he’s always wanted), this girl was born to parents with bank accounts loaded like baked potatoes and will never have to worry about money in her life. Maybe she makes good grades and does extracurriculars, maybe not, but you can bet your ass she’s on the yearbook committee, will be able to get into a good college without even trying, and doesn’t really give a shit about anyone besides herself, not even her so-called “friends”. She’s cold, sarcastic and an absolute bitch, and will never be afraid to destroy anyone who gets in her way.

At Woodsboro High, that bitch was Molly Perbesi.

Aside from her strange obsession with tales of ghosts and murder, Molly was the teenage girl most other teenage girls dreamed of being. Captain of the cheerleading squad, head of Woodsboro’s yearbook committee, a bank account that was loaded like a baked potato, and always clad in the newest fashions, Molly was the type of high school senior all the nerdy freshman girls wanted to be friends with, if only because her very aura would give them a protective shield against bullies.

But if any of those freshman had actually managed to find their way into Molly’s inner circle, they would quickly regret ever wanting to be her friend in the first place. Molly was never sincere, full of backhanded compliments, never hesitated to tear someone down if they said something she didn’t like, and talked about murder way too much. It was a miracle Sidney Prescott and Tatum Riley had managed to stay friends with her for so long, given all the many aspects of her personality that worked so hard to push people away.

(Especially considering the fact that Molly frequently made out with Sidney’s boyfriend, Billy, in various storage closets and empty classrooms all around the school. Not that Sidney knew about that. But still.)

And then Casey Becker, Molly’s childhood best friend until the two girls had a falling-out sophomore year, turns up murdered along with her boyfriend (who, admittedly, was an idiotic douchebag, but Molly doesn’t like to speak ill of the dead), and Molly, whose passion for true crime stories is well-known at Woodsboro High, becomes a suspect for the killings. And then more people get attacked and killed by some freak in a weird mask, and Molly continues to be a suspect, despite the fact that she would never wear anything as unflattering as that long black cape thing.

Her father’s money and expensive heels aren’t going to be enough to get Molly out of this scrape. But her secret inner strength, cheerleading muscles, and Sidney’s utter badassness might be enough to survive this ordeal and finally unmask the Ghostface killer. ❞

General Taglist: @hiddenqveendom, @auxiliarydetective, @foxesandmagic, @artemisocs, @reyofluke-ocs, @guardiansofheroes, @ocappreciationtag.

#my ocs #introducing my ocs #ch: molly perbesi #oc: molly perbesi #ocapp #ocappreciation #ochub #allaboutocs #fyeahscreamocs #scream oc #fic: twisted

[ao3feed-stony]

Turbulence

by KandiSheek

Steve has a major headache, and the businessman douchebag yelling into his phone at the airport isn't helping. There's only so much Steve can stand before he gets up and puts the guy in his place.

Finding out that they're actually seat neighbors is beyond awkward. Especially when Steve's anxiety kicks in as they fly right through a storm.

But as it turns out, the guy isn't as much of a douchebag as Steve first thought.

Words: 2752, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 12 of Cap-IM Bingo 2023

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Identity Porn, Airports, Steve Rogers is Not Captain America, meet ugly, Enemies to Lovers, Fear of Flying, Comfort, Verbal Fight, Fluff, Getting to Know Each Other, Banter, Flirting, Anxiety

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/47995582

#stony #steve rogers #tony stark #iron man #captain america #fan fiction #ao3 stony feed #stony fan

[stony-ao3-feed]

Turbulence

Read it on AO3

by KandiSheek

Steve has a major headache, and the businessman douchebag yelling into his phone at the airport isn't helping. There's only so much Steve can stand before he gets up and puts the guy in his place.

Finding out that they're actually seat neighbors is beyond awkward. Especially when Steve's anxiety kicks in as they fly right through a storm.

But as it turns out, the guy isn't as much of a douchebag as Steve first thought.

Words: 2752, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 12 of Cap-IM Bingo 2023

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Identity Porn, Airports, Steve Rogers is Not Captain America, meet ugly, Enemies to Lovers, Fear of Flying, Comfort, Verbal Fight, Fluff, Getting to Know Each Other, Banter, Flirting, Anxiety

Read it on AO3

#stony #fanfiction #ao3feed #superhusbands #stevetony

[theshampyon]

Finally getting around to watching Psych, which friends told me to watch when it first came out. Mostly fun, although there'd definitely a bit of... uncomfortably dated material in there. I'm going through season one, and so far we have:

A character that is both DID and trans, but only trans in one personality, and one personality is a murderer, and also the main characters are visibly disgusted by the trans personality being attracted to them, and the character is just able to queue up bottom surgery after a single therapy appointment without the alters ever being discovered or made aware, and the main characters freak out at the idea of "having bits cut off", and...

Ep set in a comic con with a level of dismissive "lol, nerds! comics and sci fi are for losers!" attitude that you almost never see today.

Ep where a character is disturbed by the idea that a manly man would have a skin care routine or watch Queer Eye,

Female cop introduced in the opening episode who's transferred because she had a relationship with her technically married detective partner. She's never mentioned again, and the male detective suffers no consequences.

Detective who openly uses police brutality (smacking a suspect's head against the door frame while getting them in the patrol car) (he's one of the heroes, folks!)

Pregnant police captain who goes to work the day after giving birth and shrugs off the suggestion that she'd need time to heal and recuperate (women who belong in the workplace don't need to recover or care for their new-born, they just Do The Job!).

Also every (mostly blonde) white girl in existence seems to want to jump the smarmy douchebag main character's bones within three seconds of meeting him?

And lord is he smarmy. He constantly makes a mockery of anything he isn't personally into. His whole vibe is Ave Ventura From Wish.com. And he loves shitting on his friend's interests, and setting him up for humiliation. And so far it seems like he was a bully as a kid, but it's because his dad was a bully, and also his dad was right to bully him because it made him the man he is today, and...

Potential love interests for the characters are very clearly racially segregated. White girls for the white guy, black girls for the black guy. Never may they mix. This is for Middle America, after all.

Lots of portrayals of women as flighty and irrationally emotional (e.g. woman who instantly decides to cheat on her boyfriend because she didn't realise he was about to propose, woman who breaks into a snotty blubbering mess because a guy didn't want to make out with her in a field, etc)

Overall it's a fun show, I'm gonna keep watching. I was already an adult when this aired, these shitty aspects were a constant white noise back then , so it's pretty easy for me to look past it and find the bits that still work (kinda like living with tinnitus). Might be different for someone who grew up in a time when writers started to learn not to trot out these tropes. It'll be fun to see if or how this stuff changes over 8 seasons and three movies. So far it's fun seeing Gus become more of an active participant instead of just Smarmy White Man-Child's foil. But man oh man, are there ever some elements in these early episodes that have aged poorly.

#psych

[bloody-wonder]

Thank you for answering my ask....If you don't mind me asking (again), who are your top 10 favorite characters from all of the books (fiction) that you've finished? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks...

thanks for asking! i love making lists and rankings so this is some awesome enrichment for me :D i didn’t manage to come up with a definitive top 10 favorite bookish faves list but while i was thinking about it i realized that almost all of my faves can be sorted into certain archetypes so instead i will break down those archetypes, explain why i like them and highlight one or two characters in each of them that i do consider to be my all time faves :))

*i’m sorry but this is gonna be mostly a sausage fest bc female characters who embody these specific archetypes are few and far between🤷‍♂️

**i will only mention what book the character is from if you can’t find it out by googling

***the obligatory disclaimer: i don’t condone any of this irl, fiction and real life are different things etc etc. most of these guys are horrible people so it’s a good thing they’re fictional and can’t hurt you and the staff i say about them is just dark humor and sarcasm etc etc🤡

****some are not from books but i had to mention them

welcome to my evil blorbo empire! >:)

nasty incel, thinks he deserves to get the girl, murders people about it: the phantom, severus snape, frollo, father konstantin (the winternight trilogy), joe goldberg, heathcliff (don’t remember if he actually murders anyone but otherwise he fits). disgusting irl, fascinating in fiction. this one’s probably the most controversial on this list and i have psychoanalyzed myself for a long time trying to understand why i’m drawn to reading about these guys. the answer probably is that i find relatable wanting something which you don’t deserve and which can never be yours and can vicariously live out the dark fantasies of obtaining it by any means no matter how vile. “be mine or you will burn”. as i grew older and learned about misogyny, objectification, male gaze an so on, i learned to enjoy this kind of stories more critically but still an obsessive friend-zoned maniac makes me go👀 it’s especially fun if he has something else going on as well: the phantom’s shtick for example is the whole tortured monster genius thing and what i love about snape is his,, let’s call it dedication lol. seriously the guy never moves on, it would’ve probably been better for everyone including himself but nope. he said i’m gonna stay right here in this puddle of anger, guilt and self-loathing and make everyone around as miserable as i am. relatable.

queer swashbuckler, trickster, possibly outlaw: francis crawford of lymond, captain jack sparrow, lock lamora (not queer. yet.), seregil i korit, yan wushi (technically not a swashbuckler but a wuxia equivalent maybe?), savonn silvertongue (the magpie ballads), robin loxleigh (the gentle art of fortune hunting - the regency era equivalent), eugenides the thief (not sure about this one yet). i love adventure stories, i love queers with swords, i love sassy conmen, i love gay evil wizards. lymond fits several categories on this list but i feel like this one describes his archetype the best. won’t say much more about him, he’s the love of my life💖 jack sparrow is not a book character but i couldn’t leave him out of this bc he’s the first character i was ever obsessed with and even now he would definitely make my top 5. you may ask how is he queer and i will tell you to rewatch the potc trilogy with an open mind and behold his vibes🙌

slytherclaw schemer, conniving politician, often mean bc people are stupid: the entire lannister family, laurent of vere, sherlock, dr house (both are from tv shows but had to include them bc they’re the embodiments of the douchebag ravenclaw archetype which i love), the littlefinger, margaret lennox (the lymond chronicles), jin guangyao, shen jiu, phil burbank (he’s kinda a mix between 1 and 3, definitely doesn’t want a girl tho lol), tom irwin (the history boys), milady de winter, seiji katayama, marquise de merteuil, aramis, bai rong, john childermass. brainy is the new sexy. reckless bravery is out, thinking ten steps ahead and manipulating people is in. sure, this isn’t very nice of you but don’t worry bc the narrative will assign you a gryffinpuff friend or love interest who will love you no matter how mean you are to them😁 (unless you’re the antagonist, then ofc you don’t need friends). maybe there’s something to be said about being kind and patient irl but fiction is for living out the fantasies of being the smartest bitch in the kingdom who makes people scared and horny. laurent is the epitome of this and i have already talked about why i like lymond jr at length (1, 2). and tyrion lannister has a tragic love story and daddy issues to boot, so as someone who has a tender spot in her heart for cripples, bastards and broken things i just couldn’t walk past. in this category we also finally have some ladies who have done nothing wrong ever and i love them😌

queercoded murderous sociopath (basically 1 but queer): tom ripley, hannibal lecter (queercoded in the show), xue yang, the mystery protag of gentlemen and players, graham reid malett, henry winter (the secret history), oh sangwoo (i do think he’s straight, it makes the story juicier), yoon seungho, dorian gray. listen, my tastes are depraved but they are also classy. this is about the quintessential queer experience of not knowing whether you want to be them or to be with them and solving the dilemma by beating them to death with an oar and drowning the corpse in the sea. or pushing them off the roof. or blinding them. or eating them. or breaking their legs. lol by now you must’ve realized i have lots of bottled up rage and zero social skills and take to characters who help me channel this condition into fictional psychosexual stabbing. i don’t think there’s a *fave of all time* in this group of fucked up guys but if i had to choose their union representative it would probably be xue yang. either you can fix him or he stabs you and sleeps next to your corpse for eight years, it’s a win-win👍 

feral bastards & drama queens, mostly not straight either: andrew minyard, neil josten, kevin day, wei wuxian, howl pendragon, yashiro (twittering birds never fly), jinx, henry “monty” montague, boris pavlikovsky, francis abernathy, cardan greenbriar, aiden kane, the gentleman with the thistledown hair. *takes all of the aftg mcs, slaps the feral drama queen label on them*😅😅 anywho. kevin’s personality is probably the most similar to mine and neil might be my favorite pov character but andrew joseph minyard is an Experience. i can talk forever about why his story and canon characterization is important - as i did two years ago, you can still find those asks on my blog - but the reason why andrew would probably take a spot on my top 10 is bc he’s just so. entertaining. to observe. much like laurent or lymond or jack sparrow he’s larger than life and steals almost every scene he’s in. he’s smart, he’s funny, his dialogue is just exquisite, he’s seemingly effortlessly competent and at the same time so relatably apathetic. neil’s the protag of aftg but andrew (who, ironically, hates the game) is the soul of it. these books just wouldn’t be the same without him and my life certainly wouldn’t either😌

“not good enough”: jiang cheng, theon greyjoy, robin stewart (the lymond chronicles), aaron minyard, the hound, rodion raskolnikov (certainly wasn’t good enough to get away with murder hehe). always overlooked, always second best, always in someone else’s shadow... the only remedy - stabbing people.. lmao but seriously isn’t this the most relatable shit? feeling acutely that you’re not the protag of this story but an unremarkable side character at best or a secondary villain at worst😒 all of these guys are neat and their anger at not getting enough pets and treats is very amusing but the real star of this category is definitely uncle sourgrape aka jiang cheng. his story just hits different bc it’s about the biggest aroace fear - your bestie promises you will be together forever and then elopes with his crush (well he also kinda dies and gets resurrected in between but that’s not important! it’s not about him!!) and then you find out that all this time he’s been doing what’s best for you and so you don’t even have the right to complain that he broke his promise. and everyone acts like you’re evil bc you refuse to forgive and live love laugh >:( maaan did jc & wwx just destroy me😭 i don’t think i’ve ever encountered a non-romantic fictional relationship so ripe with tragedy and insurmountable conflict. can’t even talk about it anymore here have this post and this character study fic😢

she's a heinous bitch and she can step on me: marthe (the lymond chronicles), madam yu (she can step on me twice), attolia, claire zachanassian, captain zamira drakasha, daenerys targaryen (not a bitch in the books. yet.). finally, a ladies’ corner👩🏼‍🤝‍👩🏻💅 there’s very few specifically female character archetypes i like bc even nowadays, although women are hardly a minority in fiction anymore, the archetype of so many of them is just “token girl”🙄 or “love interest”🤮 progress has been made but i have yet to encounter a female lymond. speaking of whomst - marthe, the light of my life, the apple of my eye. dorothy dunnett tried to *spoiler* only to *spoiler* *spoiler* (katie, this is for your benefit😅). anyways, if you’ve read this far and know any fictional ladies who would fit one of the above descriptions please tell me how to find them👀

neurodivergent king (gender neutral): lan wanji, jean baptiste grenouille, murderbot, jahir seni galare, peter gordon (the power of the dog), mr norrell. this one’s pretty new! i’m still exploring this side of myself but i’ve become really interested in characters who interact with the world in ways different from the norm. this is obviously a very mixed bag bc these guys share no traits except for being nd in one way or another but that happens to be what i like about them and find interesting or relatable: grenouille’s unchecked obsession with his special interest, lwj’s trademark poker face and brevity of speech, jahir’s touch-aversion, murderbot’s... everything. also, funny how all of them are either queer and/or killed people. they do have more traits in common after all😅

nlog (affectionate): brienne of tarth, felicity montague, jude duarte, vasya (the winternight trilogy), tatyana larina, sophie hatter (turned herself into an old lady, other girls don’t do that), naomi novik’s heroines. we don’t stan “femininity” in this house. some “femininity” is okay but if a girl isn’t a heinous bitch i like when she has “masculine” pursuits or “male coded” character traits or in some shape or form doesn’t perform the kind of female gender identity the society wants to see. looks like nowadays women online are reclaiming the other girl “slur” and embracing femininity but this is my personal preference🤷‍♂️ no all time faves in this group either but ngl nothing will make me connect to a ya heroine faster than saying that she doesn’t like dresses and baking😅

depressed, byronic, tortured by the ghosts of the past: eugene onegin, most gillian flynn heroines, athos. tbh nothing better and nothing easier to incorporate into your story than a brooding character with a dark past. they’ve seen some shit, they’re tired of life and honestly aren’t we all? lol this positive message concludes my shamelessly long post thanks for reading

#i'm the piper of hamelin and these are my rats #book tag #asks