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bardkin · 4 months
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an important thing i've come to realize about my fictionkinity is that my source is my mythology; an embellished or abridged representation of me.
i know there's a post i reblogged ages ago that uses this line of thought (source = legend & fanon = folklore, or something similar), but i can't remember it & wanna put this in my own words.
plus, this is about my personal beef with "canon divergent" as a descriptor for myself, so finding & re-reblogging that post wouldn't satiate the bees in my brain lol
i think it ties into why i adopted folcintera as a term, because i do not see my source as fact. (my source in particular would've turned out very different, if not for the censors on Cartoon Network. all i need to say is "Rubphire wedding," and folks in the know will nod sagely and/or get angry as i still am about how Sugar & their story was treated by CN.)
i thought myself to be canon divergent for a long time, but that just... never totally felt right. it felt more like a label i thought i had to adopt because i'm not just like the Steven in the show/games/comics. i'm just... me; a version of the character that many, many people saw. nothing more & nothing less.
i am my own folklore, taken from my own myth, in the most mundane ways possible.
my source is only rigid because it has to be. that's how documented storytelling works; it is immutable in the final product, be that prose, picture, film, animation, or whathaveyou. new versions of it are made when the original story gets released into the hands of fans, who go on to create different immutable pieces of their own.
myth into folklore, and such and so on. i don't fully know if any of that makes any tangible sense, but like, bare with me-
i'm wholly psychological in my framework, in regards to being Steven. the origin of how it happened doesn't really matter, because i'm still Steven at the end of the day. i have what i label knowledge and memories of things that happened & people i met and love(d) in that story, because the information sits in roughly the same space as my other, physical, memories. sometimes i ache for that story and world, because i've always felt like i was supposed to be somewhere other than physically here. i'm Steven in my brain and in my heart.
so when i first started questioning being fictionkind, almost a full year ago at this point (thanks to @aestherians for encouraging me to dig deeper into this part of myself lol), it felt quietly disingenuous to label myself as "canon divergent."
and that feels like a seemingly small thing that shouldn't matter. but i'm still bothered by it; more than a little. hence why i'm tossing that term over my shoulder and never looking back :3c
viewing myself as just Me and knowing that a lot of things will and won't line up with my source is fine. source is a version of my and other Stevens' stories, told through the limitations it was allotted. for some, those limitations were true for them; others, not so much (to varying degrees).
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traumacure · 2 years
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CAN DYING BE AN ART?
original photography, caption, and collage by @traumacure | do not repost © (reblogs ok)
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catboyrohan · 10 months
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when I was a lot more insane about jjba I would make fake tweets with the characters. anyways I forgot I still had the app where I made them heres my two favorite ones
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strawberrydakry · 4 months
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🦊📷
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angelsanctuarys · 9 months
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book of kells // book of durrow
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wallace-wells · 7 months
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cringe ass vent poetry about my mommy issues
it's so hard to hate you when you say you do it out of love
i know why you think its love, you've known no better your whole life
so why do i still feel hurt when you infect and spit in my wounds that i had the trust to uncover for you
you told me nothing would change your love for me, no matter what form i took
but i noticed the shift in your expression. the disgust in your eyes. you couldnt handle the wounded child i became while away
it's hard to hate you when you say you're looking for my wellbeing, but every resource says otherwise.
is it the fault of the child for trusting those whom brought them to this wasteland?
i miss when we used to laugh. when we used to dance. when you took me to shows.
i miss the glimpses of time where there wasn't screaming. far and few, but they were there.
i don't remember, yet you insist. what joyful moments there were have a warmth and simultaneous mold eating away at the rosey tint
its hard to hate you when I'm supposed to be your caretaker, you never had one as a child
its hard to love you when i know you were never mine, i never had one as a child.
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lechesee-biscuit · 2 years
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Last year i doodled some l.is, I did it agai.
Idk if i’m gonna paint them u_u 
bonus: my pc
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elf-ring-system · 1 year
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Everyone in source is such an ass to me. I forgot like damn
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ray-rain-cloud · 1 year
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Wow we sure are feeling lots of things tonight
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esterflask · 2 years
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What are some of your favorite parts of the rewrite you're doing?
Honestly its hard to choose a favorite part so far, I quite enjoy rewriting Mohgs whole deal and removing Miquella from the dynasty overall. Instead further involving the formless mother and having Mohg being akin to a vessel for her will. Him unaware that the formless mother is using him, and her love is fickle. Ive even thought about a possible ending, where the formless mother chooses you as her proper vessel. Dousing you in accursed blood and shapeling you to her needs. Bringing an age of wounds love.
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blorboblogger · 1 month
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hm... seeing some very unnuanced takes on mr vincent houseofwax tonight. absolutely no media comprenension from slasherblr for another year in a row. its so fucking dark in here
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bardkin · 5 months
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the most important part about any of my hearthomes, at least for me, is that like... i feel like i'd still be nonhuman if i was actually there. i'd still be me, if not a little to the left - so to speak. i'd have different experinces, yes, but the foundation of who i am as a creature would still be present.
i'd still have shifts, i'd still be Steven. i'd still be a fisher marten, i'd still long for my other hearthomes.
i don't know how common of a feeling that is for folks with hearthomes, but i know it's something that feels integral to mine.
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traumacure · 2 years
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been in a real rut with my poetry lately. people have always praised it, but it just all seems like garbage to me nowadays. i didn't always feel that way about it. but now, when i reread what i've written, it all feels so clumsy and vapid. like a shoddy attempt at constructing some semblance of meaning out of something that very obviously never meant anything at all. i don't know. maybe i've finally become disillusioned with my art. i've been in a perpetual state of artblock for so long now, making anything is a struggle. but my life feels so empty without it. i dunno what the answer is, really. am i just making art out of habit at this point? is it actually still fulfilling in any way? i haven't felt fulfilled by it in a while. i keep thinking if i just share more of it, i'll feel more fulfilled. but people just tend to ignore my stuff nowadays and that just makes me feel worse. i'm probably just depressed from the endless traumatic onslaught that's been these past couple years, but it sucks. i used to be able to make art from my pain, at least. now it's just pain.
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catboyrohan · 1 year
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what do you have to say for yourself you fiends
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hyba · 2 months
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I drew another OC from Murder in Heliopolis and a relative told me he looks like a Sims 1 character because of his pose 😂
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pixel-mess · 7 months
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making sure waspy mc wasperson isnt inside the halway again
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