#⎯ 。゜ divine ◞ ™

[mediocre-daydreams]

𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐲, 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐲, 𝐨𝐨𝐡-𝐥𝐚-𝐥𝐚

james potter x Seer!reader

summary: james keeps showing up in your readings, so the logical conclusion is you must be horrible at divination. (inspired by "kissy kissy" - isaac dunbar)

w/c: 6.8k

notes: she/her, reader in denial and james is Boy™ about expressing his feelings, hypothetical violence, reader self-friendzoning, first fic in like 3 months + not proofread so go easy on me pls and ily

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

nice to meet ya, i'm pleased 'cause i've seen you around in my astral projections i'm a mess, i'm obsessed, overdressed for you dear, this is my, my confession

there was a reason you weren’t a ravenclaw, and as you sat in front of this damned crystal ball, it was becoming increasingly evident why.

“i have Seen limitless potential amongst this group…” sybill trelawney crooned, waving her hand around in exaggerated loops. “now, relax those conscious minds and tap into your Inner Eyes to see what truly lives beyond this surface reality…”

you weren’t really sure how to access your Inner Eye. you let your eyes—your normal ones—flicker sideways to james, who seemed just as perturbed.

james looked out of place in the bright divination classroom. he hadn’t bothered untangling his bedhead and his glasses were smudged in the corners, which always seemed to bother you more than it did him. he was discreetly rebuttoning his crooked shirt and sneaking glances over his shoulder to avoid trelawney’s “all-knowing eye.”

your best friend was undeniably pretty, this you knew. even with his eyebrows furrowed and the skin on his lips beginning to peel from the harsh november air, you could practically feel the admiring gazes and swooning stares from around the room directed at james’ back—and you, by association—instead of the crystal balls the class was meant to be studying.

“alright, ‘m sorry about that, sweetheart!” james’ head popped up and he smiled at you with too much energy for so early in the morning. “ready to gaze?”

you scoffed. “please, i’ve already Seen your entire life in the time it took you to button your shirt.” you squinted at the hazy glass as you pretended to glean a message from the future.

“well, what do you see?” james shuffled closer like he’d only be able to see the same imaginary image if his thigh was touching yours.

“how interesting…” you tsked, extending a cautious hand to touch the glass. “it looks like you’re lying on the ground-”

“well, i’ve always loved naps-”

“-but you’re screaming! oh wow, you’re thrashing around too. you’re being eaten! by a big… black… dog!”

sirius’ head whipped around. he winked when he caught your eye. “it looks like we’ve got ourselves a Seer!” he announced. “c’mon, See something for us!”

james laughed, elbowing you encouragingly as you rolled your eyes. divination was no one’s favorite subject (except maybe lisa turpin’s, who was either a very gifted Seer or a very convincing fraud) and you often found yourself passing time in class by conjuring ridiculous predictions with the marauders.

you turned to your crystal ball and tried to muster up a shred of seriousness, but all you could hear was lisa turpin muttering something in the back of the classroom. godric, she had such an annoying voice. it wasn’t like you cared about divination or anything, but lisa turpin was such a stuck-up teacher’s pet and trelawney always fell for it; you were pretty sure she was lying anyway, and—

trelawney’s eyes appeared in the reflection of your crystal ball and you jerked back with a shriek, frightened by the buglike quality of her glasses further warped by the ball’s distortion. two strong hands wrapped around your biceps and anchored you in place.

“sybill! i’m so sorry, you really- i-” you huffed, pressing a hand to your racing heart. “i got caught up in my… reading.”

“not to worry, dear,” trelawney mused, patting your shoulder. she didn’t so much as look down at you as she spoke. “it appears i was right… we do have a Seer among us… now, why don’t you take a look into your ball? yes, do bless us with your premonition…”

you shook the hands off your biceps—james’ hands—and tried to smile at trelawney. it probably looked more like a grimace.

lisa turpin’s scathing look of jealousy did not calm your on-the-spot nerves. you widened your eyes at james. for a second you saw a resemblance between his large, circular frames to trelawney’s curved, oversized lenses.

james raised his eyebrows in silent communication. “just make something up.”

“what do i say?” you panicked and the corners of your lips twitched up and down.

“uh, predict something really horrible,” james mouthed. “like… tell her that pads kills me, but make it gorier and more devastating this time. also, do i look good with scars? i’ve heard girls love it when i guy is half dead and covered in blood.”

you felt a smile tugging at your mouth and you shook off the flutter of butterfly wings that james’ cheeky suggestion lit in your stomach. leaning closer to the crystal ball, you pretended to See, waving your hands around as mysteriously as you could for dramatic effect. 

“i see something!” you declared, much to trelawney’s delight. you hummed, tilting your head as you pretended to look more intently. “it looks like…”

to your surprise, the hazy center of the crystal ball began shifting, almost like a white cloud of finely ground floo dust was being blown and scattered into the air. two figures, almost familiar, emerged from the dust and began approaching each other from either sides of the ball with smooth, confident strides. you frowned. of course you’d “seen” things in divination before, like a three-legged cat in your tea leaves or a tic-tac-toe board in the creases of someone’s palm, but nothing with such clarity. it was much more frightening having your first experience under the scrutinizing gaze of trelawney and lisa turpin.

the two figures began fading away and you were glad that the anomalous Sight had finally left you alone. you cleared your throat, prepared to make up some tragedy that would appeal trelawney—

two hands, one small and one large, had taken focus in the center of the crystal ball. you looked behind you. there were no intertwined hands culpable of casting a reflection. tendrils of graceful smoke morphed into fingers that interlocked until the hands folded in on themselves had suddenly become lips… lips that were brushing against each other, gently at first, before diving forward with heat and vigor. you weren’t sure whose steamy makeout session you were predicting, but it was an awful time to be thinking about these sorts of things. you couldn’t stop the tingling on your own lips and a thunderous roar in your own ears as you stared, transfixed, at the scene before you…

“-y’ alright? still there? …hey, sweetheart?” james’ hushed voice roused you from your gazing. you jolted into the present and felt those steadying hands on your biceps once more; instead of shaking him off this time, you let yourself cross your arms over your chest and cover his hands with yours. you pressed your lips into a flat smile at james and then directed it toward trelawney, who was still waiting eagerly for a report.

“i saw, uh,” you stammered, unwilling to divulge the true nature of your Sight. “i saw a dying man. yeah, it was really, really sad. he was being torn apart by a rabid dog—a big, ugly one—and there was blood everywhere!” you snuck a glance at james, who winked at you and squeezed your muscles encouragingly. “oh, it was terrible. i’m feeling really worn out and- and lightheaded after Seeing that. i think i should lay down… don’t want to overdo it…”

professor trelawney nodded, solemn but understanding. “wonderful job, dear. how honored i am to have another Seer this year… i look forward to seeing where you go… now, let’s get back to gazing, class!” trelawney lingered for a moment, staring down at you fondly, before making her way to sirius and peter’s table with a disapproving frown already loaded and prepared.

“ you’ve got the Sight, now, have you?” james teased, his frustratingly attractive grin growing with each fervent shake of your head.

“merlin, not this again-”

“what does my future hold, O great and omniscient Seer?” james pressed the palms of his hands together in a begger’s pose and leaned into your side, resting his head on your shoulder. his unruly curls tickled the bare skin at the base of your neck. the poor boy must not have slept well last night.

“you’re not funny, potter,” you grumbled. you said this each time he poked fun at trelawney’s fondness toward you and each time he ignored it.

“yes, i am.” james cozied his head further into your shoulder. you shivered involuntarily. “i know you think i’m funny. everyone thinks i’m funny. even evans thinks i’m funny.”

of course, james had to go and mention lily evans.

there was nothing wrong with lily evans. in fact, there was nothing about lily evans that could be described as less than lovely. you could see why james was so taken with her—she was clever and hardworking and kind. she was beautiful, too.

you felt your smile falter and you plastered on a new one, albeit very unconvincingly. “lily!” you exclaimed with false excitement. “oh yeah, she’s wonderful. i wonder what she’s Seeing?”

sitting not far from you, lily and marlene seemed undisturbed by your macabre prediction and james’ foolery. you watched as lily lightly tapped the surface of the crystal ball with a well-manicured finger. marlene giggled at whatever it was they Saw; she leaned over and scribbled something on lily’s divination journal.

lily caught your eye and blushed. you waved awkwardly, feeling heat creep up your neck from being caught staring. you felt james’ chest vibrate as he chuckled gently behind you. james shot up and removed his head from your shoulder when he noticed lily’s attention directed toward the two of you. he fixed his posture, shifting himself until his thigh was no longer touching yours. james nodded in acknowledgement to the two girls and you watched as lily’s smile grew.

it was cruel, you thought. it was cruel of james to make you feel this way, but mostly, it was cruel that you got upset every time the two of them seemed happy. they were two of the best people you knew—who wished discontent upon their friends? maybe that was what distinguished lily from you… lily wouldn’t be resentful if she were in your shoes. 

“what’s goin’ on?” james muttered. where his head had once rested was now his warm, wandering hand, rubbing and massaging your shoulders. “you’re tense all of a sudden.” james’ other hand cupped your cheek and guided your head around to face him. his lower lip jutted (and you tried to ignore that) as his eyes searched yours. “is something wrong? did you actually see something just then?”

you swallowed hard and tried not to choke on your own saliva. yes, there was something deeply wrong, you wanted to say. it was wrong of you to feel this way toward your best friend, especially when he was feeling this way—feeling love—for someone else.

you cleared your throat. “all good, james.” you pushed his hands off you and grabbed your divination journal, holding it between your and james’ body like a shield.

--

“moony, can i copy your divination homework?” james slumped onto one of the common room couches; coincidentally, the same one you were already occupying. his head landed heavy in your lap. james sighed contentedly as he tucked his hands behind his mass of hair, fingers brushing against your thighs.

“no,” remus deadpanned, rolling his eyes at james. no, not just james… james on your lap. james and you, you and james, james was on top of you… remus needed to-

“cut it out!” you yelped, grabbing two fistfulls of james’ hair in shock. “you’re tickling me!”

james’ fingers twitched from beneath his head, sending another wave of shivers through your body that you were pretty sure james could feel. “i’m not tickling you,” james frowned.

“yes, you are!” you tugged at james’ wrists, exhaling in relief as soon as his hands were no longer touching your legs. “you’re being touchy today,” you noted. “what’s up with that?”

“am i not allowed to touch my favorite girl?” james pouted, batting his eyelashes innocently. 

“no, because you’re making me…”

“shy?” james suggested.

“uncomfortable?” remus countered.

“oh, merlin!” james practically lept out of his skin. “i’m so sorry! i wasn’t making you uncomfortable, was i?”

you melted at the worry in his voice. “nah,” you admonished, wrinkling your nose, “you’re fine. come back here.” in all honesty, you were more than fine with james’ head on your lap. there was nothing sexual about it; physical affection had always been a facet of your and james’ relationship. you rather liked it, actually. if you could, you’d like to be able to hold james forever. but he could never know that.

“wait,” james said suddenly, falling into your side and grabbing your arm, which he seemed to be doing a lot these days. “have you done the divination homework? can i copy yours, please?”

“why, did remus already say no?”

james had the decency to look guilty.

“well, normally i’d let you, but the homework is supposed to be analyzing palmistry data from last class. did you- did you not do that?”

james frowned and looked down at his hand. “what does trelawney even want me to write; ‘james potter has ugly quidditch callouses?’”

“you have to analyze someone else’s palm, idiot,” marlene chimed in from across the common room. “just make something up if you have to. that’s what i did with lily.”

james looked down at his hand thoughtfully and then at yours. “you’ll be my palmistry partner, right, sweetheart?”

“don’t you ‘sweetheart’ me, potter, i’m not helping you with divination ag-”

“thank you!” james cried, throwing his arms around you and burying his head in your chest, forgetting all about his previous inhibitions. you fumbled backward on the couch until your back was pressed flat against the cushions, james on top of you and hanging onto your torso.

you could feel james’ heart pounding through the fabric of his shirt. his body was warm all over. poor james. he must’ve been really nervous about his divination homework. 

“you’re the best friend ever,” james said, his voice muffled as he remained face-down, pressed against your side with no intention of moving.

marlene raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “‘best friend,’ my ass,” she mouthed to sirius.

sirius waved his hand dismissively. “his words, not mine.”

you chastised james as best as you could with your respiratory abilities compromised. he clambered off you and extended a gentlemanly hand he used to tug you upright.

instead of letting your hand go, he turned it over and splayed your fingers until your palm was exposed, facing upright and nestled in his larger one. 

“you have nice hands,” james commented absentmindedly. “they’re a good size.”

“for what?” you stiffened as james began rubbing slow circles into the center of your palm, suddenly hyper-aware of how intimate your touches had become.

“for holding,” james said. he was silent for a moment as he traced your life line. you didn’t speak. you didn’t dare breathe. james’ thumb was tracing the creases in your palm because he was completing an overdue assignment, not because he was admiring the way your skin looked against his. his touch was soft because he was your friend, not because he was caressing you like a lover, you had to remind yourself. 

“okay,” you responded stupidly.

“yeah, okay.” james cleared his throat. “for holding and- and for palmistry, of course. you’re still gonna be my palmistry girl, right?”

he ran his hands through his hair sheepishly, fighting a couple knots at the back of his head. james was whispering to himself, dragging the nail of his pinkie finger along the lines on your palm, like a cartographer mapping out a foreign land he was afraid to one day forget. there was a part of you that ached to tilt his chin up so he could memorize the planes of your face instead—and so you might do the same—but the part of you that treasured your friendship with james won. it always did.

“pass my bag, please?” james murmured, tapping your knee with his free hand. with a flick of your wrist, you summoned his divination journal.

“wandless magic,” marlene laughed in astonishment. “remind me why you aren’t a ravenclaw?”

you huffed. “well, i’m no good at riddles and i-”

“-oh, you’re plenty smart!” lily interrupted. you felt your heart sputter. “i mean it; you’re the only person who’s properly predicted anything in divination.”

lily sounded so earnest that you felt a stab of guilt pass through your chest. you weren’t actually good at divination—all you’ve ever seen was gibberish—and right now you were distracting james from spending time with the girl he’d been pining after for years who had just began to tolerate him.

“-and what are you doing, james?” lily asked, cutting through your spiraling thoughts.

a few beats of motionlessness from james prompted you to scratch his head to catch his attention. james seemed to startle momentarily before glancing up at you and lily shyly, cheeks slightly flushed and tongue swiping over his teeth. 

“yeah, hi lily!” james blurted, blinking a few times to come to his senses. “i’m- we’re just doing divination stuff… palmistry and whatnot.”

james was all of a sudden much less confident and you felt a second knife of guilt cut through your conscience. you wanted to be the one flustering him. but that wasn’t a very kind thing to wish upon someone, was it? the guilt ate at you again—oh, how you wanted to be selfish and have your best friend all to yourself; but you couldn’t, not without tearing him and lily apart and not without ruining the most important relationship in your life, platonic may it be.

“no offense, but i’ve never seen you so dedicated to homework. and divination, of all things! did trelawney say something to you, or what?” lily shifted her weight to one leg and quirked her head, examining james.

“i thought you’d be glad to see me doing my work, evans,” james said, “you’re always nagging me about it.”

lily rolled her eyes, grinning. “you act like i enjoy nagging you. if nobody reminded you, i’m fairly sure you would’ve failed out of being quidditch captain. though, it looks like it’s not my responsibility anymore.” lily jutted her head toward you.

“yep! that’s me,” you smiled fakely, feeling second to lily once again. “so, what does my palm say?”

james turned back toward you. “right, right! so, you have the mount of jupiter, which means you have a connection to…” james peered over his shoulder at his divination textbook. “you’ve got a connectioin to the spiritual realm and divine aptitudes.” james looked pleased with himself. “hey, i figure that’s a pretty accurate reading! you’re good at divination, after all.

“hm… i think your head line is saying you let your doubts get in the way of seeing what’s actually in front of you. maybe that you fixate on what you think you know, and that prevents you from learning and growth? and…

“ooh-la-la! you’ve got a deep heart line.” james waggled his eyebrows at you. “who’s the special someone?”

you clicked your tongue. “and you were on such a roll too. nope, there’s nobody for me.”

james seemed much too cheerful at your pitiful state of loveless solitude. 

“merlin, will you at least pretend to feel bad for me?” you said in acknowledgement of james’ eager expression. you loved james, but sometimes his enthusiasm shone at the wrong moments.

“no, that’s not what i-” james started. “okay, but look. your heart line really is deep. i would know; mine is too.”

“but james, you’re a hopeless romantic. everyone adores you. i’m not exactly the mushy gushy type.”

james scoffed. “oh please, plenty of people like you! what about that twat from hufflepuff- what was his name? joshua matthews?”

you looked at james, unimpressed.

“okay, i know i didn’t like him at the time… but who the hell has two first names instead of a normal surname? hey, there was also anthony abbott in third year and winston clearwater last year.”

“right, well that’s what you think. how come none of them ever asked me out, huh?” you rebutted. you weren’t that self-deprecating. you knew you were pretty and you knew that joshua matthews for sure liked you, but there was no explanation as to why, in your five years at hogwarts, nobody had ever asked you out.

“well, maybe they-” james seemed to lose momentum. “maybe they were just… intimidated?”

“wait, am i scary?” you stressed.

“no! they’re just cowards. all of ‘em. anyone who can’t tell you how they really feel… well, there’s a reason none of them were in gryffindor,” james laughed awkwardly. “yeah, that’s pretty cowardly of them. that’s why you deserve way better, sweetheart.”

“right, james.” you drawled in a way james knew you didn’t believe him. “it’s whatever. i didn’t really care for them too much anyway.”

--

do you see me or hear me, just give me a sign i just want your attention Teenage Dream on repeat as i stare into space write your name in my journal (i should burn it, right?)

you were going to toss yourself out the girl’s dormitory window. you were pretty high up; you figured the tower was high enough to at least knock you out long enough for you to forget this very, very bad dream.

well, the dream was only bad because it was so good.

in your dream, you had been in the quidditch stands with paint on your cheeks and a hoarse voice from screaming; your mittens were in your pockets so that you could clap louder. maybe if you clapped loud enough, your boyfriend, james potter, would hear you over the deafening crowd. you had tucked your nose into the scarf around your neck, hiding the evidence of last night’s activities, and breathed in james’ cologne.

you could not handle this today.

“what’s going on up there?” lily was perched on the wooden foot of her bed, brushing her long, ginger locks with all the grace of a fairytale princess. “in your head, i mean.”

you realized you’d been sitting upright on your bed and staring into space for probably a few minutes now, stuck in your daydream continuation of last night’s horrendous, disgusting, absolutely revolting fantasy.

“nothing,” you brushed off. “i’m just dreading divination. i bet trelawney’s gonna make me do a reading in front of the class or something.”

“well, at least it won’t be spontaneous,” marlene said. “we’re doing our dream journals today. you can just read whatever you wrote. bam, easy.”

oh yeah, you definitely could not handle this today.

like the cherry on top of a curdled ice cream sundae, you arrived to divination two minutes late. normally, that wouldn’t have been a big deal. (plus, you were trelawney’s new favorite and she was bound to let you off easy.) well, it was a big deal today. everybody else had found their seats, and as always, james had saved the one next to him for you. it wasn’t as if you could simply take another seat, not when he was looking at you with those eyes. 

“mornin’ jamie,” you whispered, stealing a glance at the blushing boy as you dug through your satchel for your dream journal. “d’you wake up late too? looks like you’ve just run across the castle.”

james clapped his hands to his cheeks. “what, am i red?”

“a little,” you admitted, pinching one of his cheeks gently. “don’t worry about it. you’re cute.”

james went even darker. the poor boy must’ve had a rough morning too. perhaps he’d eaten the jalepeño omlettes at breakfast today instead of his usual spinach ones.

“what’d i miss?” you absentmindedly recorded the dream you’d had in your journal as trelawney lectured on about interpretation and her latest prediction.

james shrugged. “not much. lisa turpin tried sitting next to me, but don’t worry, i fended her off. i’m pretty sure she wants to peel off and wear your skin, if i’m to be honest. she’s been vying for trelawney’s attention all year.”

“james,” you teased, “i’m pretty sure it’s because she has a crush on you.”

“a crush? on little old me?” james pressed his hand to his heart and looked at you pointedly. “there’s no way. you know my heart will only ever belong to one.”

that was true. james, unlike sirius, wasn’t the type to flirt shamelessly or sleep around, though he could if he wanted. james was one of those kids who grew up on happily-ever-afters instead of beetle the bard. even today, he was a vehement defender of true love and soulmates and fate, and you weren’t sure if that was admirable or naive.

“don’t underestimate yourself, pretty boy. every girl in our class—no, probably in the whole school—has liked you at some point.”

james went quiet and for a moment you thought trelawney was behind you. (she was not.)

“every girl?” james swallowed thickly, his adam’s apple bobbing. perhaps he needed a drink of water, you thought. “uh, including you?”

your teasing smile faded. “i mean, i-”

“-now, let’s get started on our interpretations, shall we?” trelawney interrupted loudly, and it seemed your luck was turning up for the first time this morning. “shall we first try an example? how about… you, my darling?” to your horror, trelawney waved her fabric-draped arm toward you, bangles clinking together and drawing the entire classroom’s attention toward your mortified expression. unlucky again; it seemed you’d spoken too soon.

you did a quick scan of the room and then a quick scan of what you’d written in your journal. shit. fuck. shit. there was no way you could read this out loud, especially not while sitting next to james.

fuck! shit! fuck! you were sitting next to james, who could definitely see the writing on the page. you slammed your journal shut and looked up at trelawney, frenzied. “um, could somebody else read their journal, please?” you managed to croak out.

trelawney looked slightly disappointed, but obliged. “miss mckinnon, why don’t we hear from you?”

you refused to look at james. your eyes were glued to your lap as you listened to marlene clear her throat. “well, the gist of it was that gryffindor won the quidditch cup by around 200 points, which was sick, but i analyzed something else. it was really interesting, actually. y’know, i couldn’t tell i was dreaming until i woke up because it was all so realistic-”

“please stay focused,” trelawney said, the corner of her mouth twitching.

“right! sorry, professor. anyway, james was actually in my dream—yeah, hey james—” marlene said, waving in your direction, “and i’m gonna be honest, he wasn’t looking too great. super muddy and sweaty and stuff; he’s always kinda gross after games… regardless, you didn’t seem to mind.” 

marlene wasn’t even trying to be subtle. she pointed a finger at you and waved it in a small circle. “yeah, the two of you had no complaints when you started eating each other’s faces off. it was such a nightmare, professor. i was having such a good time celebrating our win and then, of course, it just had to be ruined by bloody james potter and-”

trelawney cut off marlene, red-faced and unprepared. “good job, miss mckinnon; thank you for your contribution. why don’t we speak after class?”

there was a low wave of “oooh”s and hushed gossip, but trelawney shut that down as well. “no, miss mckinnon, you’re not in trouble. i’m simply curious; you seem to excel at dream work. many students-” trelawney coughed pointedly, “overlook its usefulness… dreams are a direct gateway to the subconscious, and oftentimes our Inner Minds are wiser and more perceptive than we think. you’ve done a good job, miss mckinnon; quite accurate. you have a wonderful mind and impressive clarity. this will take you far.”

marlene was smug as she settled into her cushion and elbowed lily. lily bit her bottom lip as she tried to conceal a laugh. after swallowing their amusement, the two girls looked in the direction of you and james. well, more so james. you weren’t sure if either lily or marlene could actually see you. you had shrunk into yourself in your embarrassment and you prayed you were no longer visible to the curious class.

it didn’t matter though, not really, because you were still visible to the one person whose opinion mattered most. you were seated, transfixed and frozen, right next to james, who seemed equally as taken aback. your heart was thudding so violently you thought it might grow wings, expel itself from your throat, and land in a bloody, drooly puddle on your lap. that might actually be less embarrassing than this, whatever this was.

and you couldn’t help but furrow your eyebrows when you noticed lily’s eyes still glued on james. her straight brows were raised so high they formed creases on her forehead and you felt a second wave of shame overtake you. lily must’ve been heartbroken. not only had marlene told the entire class about her dream, but she’d done so while sitting next to lily, who’d been clearly pining after james for months now. you knew marlene and lily were friends. what was that all about?

james pushed his hair back from his face and adjusted his glasses. he seemed equally as flustered as you, if not more. james’ eyes flickered between lily and marlene and ever so often his nervous hands would come back up to his face and fiddle with something—a stray curl, an itch on the back of his neck, or the tip of his pinkened nose. 

“i need to use the loo!” you jumped to your feet, declaring your bladder’s needs much louder than necessary. trelawney shooed you with a dismissive hand and you scrambled past sirius and remus’ table, pretending not to notice their trailing stares on your back.

you didn’t actually need to use the loo. clarification: you didn’t have to pee. you entered a stall anyway. waves of nausea had been coming and going ever since james had caught sight of what was written inside your journal, and it was better to be safe than sorry, right? the only thing that could make today worse was if you hurled all over your uniform.

your hands were trembling as you rubbed your eyes and took a shaky breath. how were you supposed to recover from this? at this point, it wasn’t just your relationship with james on the line, but lily’s feelings too. and, if the situation escalated, you could risk losing sirius, remus, and peter to the awkwardness between you and james. you loved marlene, you truly did, but damn if you didn’t want to jinx her off her broom during the next quidditch game.

your misery must’ve made the time pass faster, because soon after your classroom escape, you heard the bustling of students pushing their way through the corridors to their next classes. you kept your head down as a couple girls streamed into the bathroom, chatting freely and checking their reflections, and hoped not to be spoken to.

“hey, you’re that girl from divination, right?” some hufflepuff caught your elbow before you made it to the door. “the one mckinnon had a dream about?”

“uh, yep. that’s me.” you pursed your lips and tried to look like you weren’t on the verge of murdering marlene.

“aw, i knew it! i just have to say, you and james are like, the cutest ever. i’m kind of jealous. victoria over there-” the hufflepuff tilted her head toward a ravenclaw girl leaving over a sink and re-applying her lipstick, “-was totally freaking out when i told her about it. she’s had a crush on sirius for like, ever. do you think you could introduce her?”

you shut your mouth as soon as you realized you were gawking. “wait, sorry, i’m a little lost. you want me to introduce you to sirius?”

“yeah, ‘cause sirius is more likely to listen to his mate’s girlfriend, right?” the hufflepuff said.

“wait, james and i aren’t together—no, marlene just had a really weird dream. we’re friends. been friends forever. only friends. plus, james is all over lily evans, so…”

“lily evans?” victoria hummed as she smudged her lipstick with her finger. “i thought lily didn’t like james. she’s always looking at him like she’s judging him.”

“‘cause she’s probably checking him out,” you countered.

“there’s no way,” the hufflepuff argued. “she’s been rejecting him since second year. she’s like, never shown any interest in him at all.”

“i mean, i dunno. but i should probably go to my next class.” you patted your side to check for your satchel. it wasn’t there. you must’ve left it in the classroom. “and i’ve gotta go get my bag—sorry, but it was nice talking to you!”

you heard the girls giggling as you rushed out of the bathroom.

the crowd of students had thinned out from when the bell first rang; you took the stairs to the divination tower two at a time. as you hoisted yourself up through the trapdoor, you remembered what trelawney had said just before you ran out.

“…our Inner Minds are wiser and more perceptive than we think. you’ve done a good job, miss mckinnon; quite accurate.”

what did she mean by that? the dream wasn’t accurate by any means—you’d never kissed james before (though you would not at all be opposed to it). everyone knew trelawney was a bit off her rocker, and you’d never taken divination seriously, but there was something undeniably odd about this situation. what were the chances you’d have the exact same dream as marlene?

“hey…” the voice behind you send a dreadful creep of goosebumps down your arms. “you missed the rest of class.”

you turned around slowly, like a character who was about to die in a low-budget horror movie. “james?”

“yeah?” james stood in front of you, holding the strap of your bag with an outstretched arm and looking unusually shy.

“um, yeah. i was in the bathroom.” you sighed, mustering the last of your sense of normalcy. “so, what’d i miss?”

“we finished our dream analysis and trelawney assigned us an essay on dream symbolism; two pages. you… uh, you left your journal out so i packed it for you. i hope that’s okay.”

“wow! that’s so- thanks, james. that’s so kind of you. thanks.” you stammered, reaching out to take your bag from his offering hand. james’ knuckles were pale, and when he released his grip, there were faint indents from how tightly his fist had held the strap.

“you’re welcome,” james said dully. “i guess we should get going, right? to class, and all.”

“yep. yeah, to class.”

there was a heavy silence between the two of you, during which neither of you moved. james’ eyes were boring into yours and rather than making you uncomfortable, it felt like he was seeing right through your thinly stretched facade of faux-platonic feelings. 

“i’m so sorry, i-saw-the-inside-of-your-journal-but-i-swear-it-was-an-accident,” james blurted, eyes wide and apologetic. it seemed like he hadn’t meant to speak, and he clapped his hand over his mouth. even as you felt yourself actively disintegrating from humiliation, you still found yourself thinking how endearing james looked when he chewed his lower lip and let his eyes wander across the classroom; anywhere but your face.

“oh,” you muttered, “i’m sorry about that too.”

“what?” james’ head snapped back until he was facing you once more. he stepped forward and you forced yourself to stay where you were. james looked frantic. he blinked twice in confusion. “what are you talking about? why are you apologizing? you have nothing to apologize for,” he reassured you. his words came out like a half-formed train of thought, rushed and blurring into each other.

“it’s so invasive and inappropriate; i swear, i didn’t mean to have that- that sort of- i didn’t mean to dream about you! i don’t know what happened, it must’ve been some subconscious thought or- or something,” you blabbed, waving your hands in front of you as you tried to explain yourself. “i hope i haven’t made you uncomfortable; i don’t want this to ruin our friendship or anything, and i completely understand if you want to sit with someone else in divination or something-”

“wait, please don’t apologize!” james rushed forward in a surge of desperation-fuelled bravery. “i don’t want you to apologize.”

“you don’t want me to apologize?” you repeated dumbly. “but-”

james placed his hands on both your shoulders and shook you gently. “no, i don’t want you to apologize! i’m- i- how do i say this…” james closed his eyes and took a deep breath. you watched his eyelashes flutter with the movement of his eyelids. “i’ve had so many dreams about you, just like that one. and sweetheart, i’d love nothing more than for those to be real. i like you. i like you so much.”

you squinted at him, dumbfounded. it must’ve looked like you were judging him, because james backtracked immediately.

“i mean, only if you want it to be real- i’m sorry if that’s creepy or gross or perverted; i swear, it was all family-friendly. no funny business. i just really like you, sweetheart, and i can’t stop thinking about you, and i mean, for you it might’ve been some subconscious thought but you’re in my mind all the time,” james said. he pulled his hands from your shoulders and held them in the air, like he’d been caught stealing. “maybe i’ve misinterpreted this; maybe i-”

“what about lily?” you coughed out.

“what d’you mean, ‘what about lily?’”

“lily likes you, james. i thought you liked her too.”

“what? lily does not like me.”

“james,” you sighed exasperatedly, “she totally does-”

“i- lily’s been this close-” james pinched his fingers together, “-to slaughtering me because i’ve been trying to ask you out for nearly a year now and i keep chickening out.”

“wait, a year? you’ve liked me for a whole year?”

“um, yes. and are you gonna say anything? like, do you like me too? i’m kind of freaking out here, sweetheart.”

“jamie, are you insane? i’ve been bloody in love with you since forever; merlin, i like you so much it’s embarrassing,” you scoffed.

“what? why didn’t you say anything?” james exclaimed, mouth dropping open as he leaned backwards to look you up and down incredulously. 

“well, how was i supposed to know you felt the same? i didn’t want to mess everything up! it’s not like you said anything either.”

“are you kidding? sirius said i was making it obvious!” james cringed, dipping his head in defeat. he took your hands in his and squeezed them as he chided you. “hell, even marlene and trelawney saw it before you!”

“in my defense, am i really supposed to believe what trelawney does?” you huffed, crossing your arms in frustration. “you always talk about how she’s a fraud! you were totally sending me mixed messages!”

james looked down at you. his glasses were beginning to slip down his nose and you wanted nothing more than to push them back up, but he had you transfixed. he unwraveled one of his hands from yours but his touch never left; his fingers brushed up your forearm and squeezed your shoulder affectionately before cupping your jaw. james’ thumb brushed against your mouth, coaxing apart your pursed lips and soothing your pinched expression.

“what did you see in the crystal ball?” james whispered teasingly, eyes never leaving yours.

you remembered the way your own lips had tingled as you watched the smoky figures kiss and you felt your mouth curve into a self-satisfied smirk, knowing—despite how cliché it sounded—you’d actually predicted the future. pushing yourself to your toes, you threw your arms around james’ neck and pressed your lips against his and it was like you were back in the divination classroom once more and you were feeling the haze of the crystal ball overtake your mind as you drowned in the heat of james’ kiss. there was nothing else in the world except the brush of james’ tongue against your bottom lip, his choked inhale from when you pulled him closer by the front of his shirt, and the victorious bubble in your stomach at having secured yourself an O in divination. take that, lisa turpin.

james laughed breathlessly, eyes flickering between yours as his face shuffled through a million different emotions. “i take it back. trelawney is not a fraud."

kissy kissy ooh-la-la, babe, i want ya so tell me that you want me the same i fantasize about you today and tomorrow so kissy kissy ooh-la-la, forever

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

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