#‣ character study { alleria windrunner } — ❝ WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER. ❞ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

warwaged-moved · 3 years

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Ranger Captain Alleria Windrunner Renowned Troll Hunter of Quel'Thalas. Lead Scout and Intelligence Agent for the Alliance Expedition that marched into the orc homeworld of Draenor. Presumed deceased. Your heart flew straight as any arrow upon the wind, sister. You were the brightest of our Order. You were the most beloved of our kin.- Sylvanas Windrunner - Ranger General of Quel'Thalas

Alleria hates being regarded as the legendary heroic figure she has come to be. When she left to Draenor, of course part of her reasoning was to protect those she loved and keep her world safe, but it was also not to return. When she went through the portal, Alleria did so believing it (wanting it) to be a one way trip, in which she would, yes, protect things she loved, but also take down as many orcs as possible before she herself found her end in battle. She went there for revenge. She went there meaning to die. That changed when she was there, of course, but the people who hail her as a hero don’t even know that. They idolize her for actions and decisions from the darkest part of her life, the moment she was literally hopeless, the moment when she was completely volatile and purposefully endangered herself all the time because she didn’t know how to live with her grief and guilt. Her statue in the Valley of Heroes is the epitome of people putting her (and more specifically that version of her) in a pedestal she is certain she did nothing to earn. And when she gets past the initial aversion she feels towards that statue, the most Alleria can see in it is a monument to her death — to a version of herself that indeed died, for who she is now isn’t by any means the same Alleria the Alliance saw fit to carve in stone.

Regardless, she hates the statue -- but when it comes to the plaque, her feelings are quite different. What is written there starts ordinarily enough, identifying her and her deeds — but the last line is different. The last line is not simply empty flattery of people who didn’t know her and had no idea of the state of devastation she was in when she was presumed dead. It isn’t just pretty words written by someone she doesn’t know, or even someone that knew her only as a warrior or a Farstrider. It isn’t merely honoring a deceased hero. Sure, that last line accomplishes that. It honors her as a hero, as a warrior and a Farstrider, it mourns her death. But it is personal. And the first phrase is what frames it like that.

“Your heart flew straight as any arrow upon the wind, sister.“ Even if the ‘sister’ wasn’t there, this is someone speaking of her heart; of who she was. It is someone who knew Alleria, who knew she did what she wanted with the certainty of a well aimed arrow, who knew her to be determined and deadly and not held back by anyone or anything.

Reading it the first time, this would be the line that would affect her in a way nothing about the statue did because it would actually reach her feelings. This is her sister speaking of her… and Alleria would know immediately which sister it was, too, which in itself would make her heart ache immensely.

"You were the brightest of our Order. You were the most beloved of our kin.” From anyone else, Alleria might have deemed it empty praise. But those two sentences combined with the previous one, there is no way she feels it is untrue — what she would feel is that this was, in a polished way that befit both the honoring of a hero and the station of the one who wrote the words, the honest speech of a sister who truly mourned her when she wrote that. It would fill Alleria with sorrow and regret, to imagine what her supposed death meant to Sylvanas, with all the losses their family had already suffered and everything she had to carry upon her shoulders. It would make her guilty for her choice to leave (for her inability to deal with her own feelings) all over again.

And it would be a knife being further twisted because she was in Stormwind before she actually met Sylvanas again. All Alleria has of her at this point is memories and the warning of what she’s become (and what she became and what led her to become this are both sensitive topics as well, because Alleria will always wonder if her staying could have made a difference in saving Sylvanas). So at once she’s left to deal with the sorrow and guilt and regret from what she caused her sister to go through and the knowledge the Sylvanas who wrote those words is no longer the Sylvanas she will meet when they finally see each other again. If the statue is a monument to an Alleria that no longer is, the words on the plaque were written by a Sylvanas who is just as much gone. Later, she would think it suitable.

#‣ muse { alleria windrunner } — ❝ VOIDFORGED. ❞#‣ character study { alleria windrunner } — ❝ WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER. ❞#‣ dynamics { alleria windrunner & sylvanas windrunner } — ❝ A SISTER IS BOTH MIRROR AND OPPOSITE. ❞

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warwaged-moved · 3 years

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Alleria has a considerable amount of scars, although none of them is particularly grisly.

The oldest ones date back to her youth. Most of those she got when fighting Trolls (and because of her own recklessness when doing so lbr).

She has several scars that date back to the Second War, more specifically the post war actually, from when she was hunting orcs — as this happens to be the time period in which she was at her most careless and actively did not care if she got hurt.

A few were caused by the Legion, though most of those did not come from battle as much as they came from torture; by the time she was fighting the Legion, she was both skilled enough and careful enough to not get hurt as often, even though it most surely happened at times. Even when she got hurt, when with the Army of the Light any injuries would have received proper care sooner and rarely left marks.

She got a considerable amount in her 500 years roaming alone in search of the Locus-Walker, as well, considering her search definitely did not take her to pleasant places if Niskara is anything to go by (and I would say it is).

Last but not least, she definitely has a few, less noticeable marks of her time being tortured by a Naaru.

The scars from after the Second War and those acquired in her time alone are also the ones that are more noticeable/larger. In the first case, on top of being careless, she would not have minded to have them properly healed as much as she would in other times, while in the second she would not have received proper care in the conditions she was in.

Most of her scars are on her upper arm, abdomen and on her back.

The larger scar she has is on her back, and was one of those she got from the orcs when she was pretty much trying to die after the Second War.

Alleria is not bothered by her scars in the slightest – for the most part. Battle scars or even those left by the Legion are fine, and she’s not self-conscious about them in any way. Any marks left from her imprisonment by Xe’Ra are different, however. Those are the only ones she’d make more of a deliberate effort not to show. They are not easily noticeable, though, and one would need to both be close and paying attention to see those.

#‣ muse { alleria windrunner } — ❝ VOIDFORGED. ❞#‣ character study { alleria windrunner } — ❝ WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER. ❞

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warwaged-moved · 3 years

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Although canon timeline gets confusing, likely because they didn’t think it through decided to retcon things later, I don’t disregard Beyond the Dark Portal but I have a different take on how things go, especially when it comes to A.lleria’s relationship with Tu.ralyon. So, taking it into account, here’s my take on how things happened (spoilers: it doesn’t include A.lleria calling Tu.ralyon my love half a second after they’ve talked to each other and made peace, sorry not sorry @Beyond the Dark Portal):

A.lleria and Tura.lyon met when fighting in the Second War. Before that, she did not have contact with many humans, and if she didn’t necessarily look down on them, A.lleria didn’t really see them as equals either (their senses are not as sharp as the elves’, their lives are way too short, and they are still quite arrogant in spite of that, in her eyes). It isn’t until the war that she has a chance to get to know them better, and fighting beside the humans definitely changes her views on them.

Tura.lyon, specifically, does not mean much to her in the beginning. He’s obviously smitten with her, and she finds it way too amusing to waste the opportunities to tease him — but in the beginning this is all her actions are: amusement. She never seriously leads him on, and he’s quite aware she’s entertained by his reaction to her. But as time passes they genuinely become closer. A.lleria learns to respect him after fighting with him and following his leadership, and then her actions around him are not as much jokes as they were before.

She’s interested, but she isn’t in love. It is infatuation at most, she thinks, and it’ll pass soon enough (it isn’t as if she considers a serious relationship with him either: he’s a human still, his entire life until adulthood is only a fraction of her own and she’s bound to outlive him). In truth her feelings go a little deeper than she’s willing to believe they go, but it isn’t some deep, endless love. She’s falling for him, but on her part it is slow, and she makes it slower still with all the resistance against it she creates.

When they learn the Horde will target Quel.Thalas, A.lleria is immediately on edge (she grows restless, impulsively wants to run to her home ahead of the army, questions every single decision he makes just because). She’s worried about her home, her people, and the people she loves that are there and don’t know what’s coming for them. Arriving there afterwards and fighting to drive them back and still having to watch their forests burn wounded her very deeply, even more because of her previous concern. And then she learns most of her family died, including her little brother, and it breaks her in a way A.lleria hadn’t yet been broken.

She doesn’t love Tura.lyon when she goes to him. The logic is flimsy, and only really logical to her because of the state of absolute emotional wreck she’s in. She doesn’t want to be vulnerable in front of people she knows and loves and who look up to her, though, and she came to like and trust him well enough that she seeks him instead. It isn’t a well thought out thing – she’s barely thinking at all – but it feels like a good enough idea at the time: this way her sisters won’t see her breaking, because she has to be strong for them, and she won’t burden friends who have lost people themselves, and she won’t be vulnerable in front of those who look up to her as a leader.

It (obviously) wasn’t a good idea. It is something she’ll regret immediately afterwards. A.lleria would feel guilty she had used him to try to forget her hurt, because he obviously cares for her and she does not feel the same, at least not as intensely. There is no future for them, she thinks, and what she did would give him hopes of something that couldn’t be. Beyond that, she’s still hurting; she’ll continue to hurt for a long time, unable to process her grief, unable to let go and heal. As soon as it is over and he is asleep, she leaves. Afterwards, A.lleria is cold towards him purposefully, so he will know it was just one night, so he won’t think it is more than it is. Tura.lyon doesn’t take well to it, but A.lleria thinks it’s best that way. Let him live his short human life with someone who can love him better than she can. Besides, it isn’t as if he understands; he doesn’t like the path she’s taking and she cannot meet his criticism with anything other than anger.

A.lleria isn’t concerned with love, by then and after that. All she wants is revenge. For everything, for all the family she lost, but especially for her brother. Even after the war is over, she doesn’t stop hunting the orcs, and she revels in their pain. She wants each and every orc dead, but a thousand kills do not lessen her thirst for revenge, neither do they fill the emptiness within her. They do not make her feel less guilty for being alive while Lirath is dead. She won’t let go of anger and hatred for years still. And in the meanwhile between the night she regrets and the future in which vengeance is not her utmost priority, A.lleria finds herself pregnant.

It is kind of (very) despairing at first. Most of her family died, and she’s in a very dark place mentally and emotionally. She feels the need to keep it together for those around her, but she’s falling apart. She came to regret the one night in which her child was conceived, and it isn’t like she can exactly count on someone she pushed away to care for a child now. Besides, it is said the High Elves didn’t look favorably towards half-elven children, which is one more reason to be concerned for her unborn child. A.lleria doesn’t seek support of anyone else; she hesitates in even telling people close to her about it.

But she’s decided to have her child and to keep the baby with her regardless. Eventually she’d have to speak; but before it would be noticeable, she’d let at least Sylv.anas and Ve.reesa know (maybe some of her closest friends, but even that is uncertain; she might also have panicked and told Hal.duron at some point before even telling her sisters...). So A.rator is born in Quel.Thalas, and no matter what she feels towards his father, she loves her son from the beginning. And I think much of her love for A.rator, and how deep and important to A.lleria it is, comes from the place she was in at the time of his birth. To her, he was a flicker of love and hope in a world that was seemingly all devoid of it; and the fact he may suffer some prejudice amidst her people only made her more determined to give him love that would make up for it.

Contacting Tura.lyon to even let him know never crosses her mind as a serious option. She would have thought of it at times, especially when his letters arrived, as he explicitly mentions having written to her and never gotten any answer, but she would be angry at herself for even considering it. If someone said she should (I believe someone might have), A.lleria would cut them short. She doesn’t need him, he cannot help; A.rator is her son, and they’ll be fine just the two of them.

Except they won’t, because even though she’s wholeheartedly dedicated and entirely loving towards him, she’s also consumed with vengeance and hatred for what happened to Lir.ath. A.rator would give her happiness she wouldn’t have felt ever since the war, but immediately afterwards even the faintest glimmer of happiness, she’d feel immense guilt (how can she be alive, happy, laughing, after having failed her home, after failing to prevent Lir.ath’s death? her brother would never get to laugh again, he would never father his own children; why should she have all of this, when he would not?).

It would become a cycle, and it definitely pushed her away further: happiness makes her feel guilty, guilt makes her dive headfirst in battle and revenge. She makes herself believe that A.rator would be better without her, but cannot find it in herself to tell Tura.lyon about their son and leave A.rator with him. It is part of why she’s so eager to go beyond the dark portal, too: she wants vengeance, and to protect the things she loves, and to die fighting, to die in a way that can at least leave her sisters proud, to die and leave her son to be raised by those who could do it better than she ever could.

Is it immensely hard to just pretend nothing ever happened once she’s forced to interact with Tura.lyon again, especially considering she is well aware their one night resulted in the most precious baby boy in Azeroth and beyond? Yes, but their antagonism towards each other helps; anger does not leave much room for her to feel guilty for not letting him know of anything. Of course, once they are together again, and once she acknowledges her feelings for him go well beyond just infatuation, she knows the conversation has to happen — and it is only then that she tells him of A.rator. It is quite a mess that they made, so reconciliation isn’t by any means easy, and A.lleria is never one to just give herself completely and without wariness. To her, opening up to him again is a slow process; and if physical contact comes earlier and easier than verbal declarations, even that would be slow. She doesn’t shy away from him, maybe even seeks him at times, but more often than not, A.lleria would more likely wait for him to seek contact than initiate it herself —- and it would definitely take a long while for her to reciprocate I love yous.

#I forgot to bring this to the new blog but #here is a slightly updated version #because it's an important headcanon #especially when I keep asking for a tura.lyon but have a very specific idea of how their relationship developed #between tod and btdp and how arator fits with all of that #but honestly #this is still what makes the most sense with the fact they don't acknowledge ara.tor in btdp and he couldn't have been born later #‣ out of character { the mun } — ❝ THAT GLOOMY GIRL WHO SIGHS A LOT. ❞#‣ muse { alleria windrunner } — ❝ VOIDFORGED. ❞#‣ character study { alleria windrunner } — ❝ WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER. ❞#‣ dynamics { alleria windrunner & turalyon } — ❝ DEEP BLUE BUT YOU PAINTED ME GOLDEN. ❞#‣ dynamics { alleria windrunner & arator windrunner } — ❝ SUNSHINE ON HER DARKEST DAYS. ❞

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warwaged-archive · 4 years

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Alleria had always been good at pushing aside unwanted feelings.

It wasn’t comfortable, no, but easy enough to do while moving forward towards she who had been her tormentor for so long. Leave her dead; leave her buried in rubble never to be found again. It is what she deserves. What leaves her lips is much more softspoken, heart poured out in spite of her hesitance to do so; there is no word against the Light Mother, no offered offense regardless of how many come to mind. No sense of retribution to see her shattered, no gloating, no satisfaction; but there is fear, and there is vulnerability, and there is the silent begging for him to see her reason, to see her side, to see her pain.

And what then? I was locked in a cell for delving into the Void against her wishes. Will she make me a prisoner again? Or worse?

He would have tried to soothe her at the very least, in the past. This time there is no offered comfort; there is nothing but nearly disinterested certainty that surely it shall be fine, surely Xe’Ra would see the reason, surely she would do Alleria no harm.

But she has already done. Alleria has the scars to prove it.

Hurt that hits her then is not of so visible sort; only in her heart, after all, and that she can hide easily enough. Not comfortable, but easy. She knew Turalyon trusted her; she knew the Army of the Light fought for the future the prime naaru had foreseen. They think it is the only way to save the universe from the Legion, of course bringing her back is important. Somewhere deep down, she can almost hear the echoes of disagreement.

(Weren’t you important for him? Didn’t he care? You gave your heart and body and soul in a way so complete and honest and whole, in a way you never had before; you gave yourself to the wrong person. He doesn’t care. You abandoned the Light, and he no longer cares. He cannot love someone who dwells in the Shadows. But he can love a being of Light even if it is a tyrant, even if it is a torturer.)

They are not loud enough she cannot silence them. The bleeding is not severe enough she cannot ignore it.

Alleria underestimates how hard it would be to see Xe’Ra again.

Indeed, apprehension gripped at her heart at the mere suggestion of restoring the Light Mother, but she had since steeled herself to the inevitability of it; or so she thought. The Windrunner had never been the submissive sort, never one to be forcibly controlled; one who valued her freedom too much to ever submit to chains, never had, not other than those that would lead her to Azeroth again. Alleria could have escaped, even if she could not have fought; could have returned to the Void, to her displeased teacher, could even have wandered the Twisting Nether again until she found path to Azeroth by herself — but the Xenedar was where she had to be, reliable path to the future she had seen that Light and Void were both blind to. The future where they won.

It wasn’t enough to make her fond of her cage, but it was enough to make it tolerable.

The bars were made of Light, as pure and bright as the Light that composed Xe’Ra herself. Alleria could not touch them, of course; a way to guarantee she could not reach beyond it, to make her as little threat as possible. More often than not, she had been left alone to reconsider her path and forsake the Shadows; not always. Sometimes the Light Mother would reach to her in sickeningly sweet tone, elated in listing all that she would lose forever were she to stay with the shadows, before offering her a path to the Light once more. Unbeknownst to Xe’Ra, perhaps, those were the days she got to Alleria the most, heart tight at the idea of losing her sisters, her homeland, her lover, her son. Yet it was for them, too, she chose the path she walked; and it was holding on to this knowledge that Alleria kept herself calm enough not to give away any reaction, nothing but constant denial.

Other times, it was Light forced on her physically, or the attempt to. She remembered thinking of Lothraxion, of Fel being cleansed by Light, of how much it must have hurt for the Nathrezim; she remembered thinking Xe’Ra underestimated the Shadows and Alleria’s own will both, if she believed to cleanse her as easily as Fel. The Void would not surrender one who had so willingly given herself to it; and whenever she was at her limit, Alleria saw Xe’Ra give up, made aware the mortal would break before bending, and knowing she needed her alive for the future she had seen to come into being.

Well, at least until she decided Alleria needed another push, a more direct interference from the Light to set her once more on the right path.

Seeing her may have brought memory of such instances to her mind, but it does not make Alleria fear. She finds it hard to fear, then, in spite of being haunted by it not long ago. Seeing Xe’Ra again makes her rage. A quiet, contained sort of rage, to be sure, but one that burns intensely, one that she had not felt so strongly in so many years. Had she the power to destroy the Prime Naaru, Xe’Ra would be in pieces again already. The thought comes with a certainty that does not let her deny its truth even to herself; Alleria doesn’t try to. She does not shun the anger, either; it is justified, and she has kept it long enough. Let it be felt. Let it bleed out if it must. There has been silence and submission for too long.

If anxiety or anger occupy her, neither finds reciprocation in the dreaded Light Mother. Xe’Ra does not care, she realizes; and there is no shock in this, not truly, not for her who knows the naaru to only have cared for her perfect vision of the future for years, but to see it extended to Turalyon as well is new and unexpected — as is his loyalty to her, so blatantly offered, so unblemished. He kneels as if faced by most sacred being, and it is the truth of it, Alleria realizes, the truth of it in his eyes at least. There is adoration in his gaze, devotion in his voice, relief to see Xe’Ra restored.

It is enough to subdue the flames of her resent, ice cold aching in her heart substituting it. It is neither comfortable nor easy, then, to push aside unwanted feelings. It is hard, and it hurts; oh, if baring her feelings to be met with disregard had been bruising as being punched in the gut, this hurts as being trespassed by blade instead. Part of her wants to cry out betrayal, that he would so devote himself to this thing who had tried to rob her of choice, who did rob her of freedom, who hurt her as it saw fit and branded her wrong for having a mind of her own. Part of her thinks the betrayer to have been herself, venturing in the Shadow out of own volition. It hurts all the same. Duty she could understand; this wasn’t it. This was care and concern Turalyon had not shown to her, even when he had last seen her behind bars made of pure Light; it was commitment he had not shown her when she spoke of her worry and hesitated to aid one who had only done her harm.

Keeping herself impassive is stilling breath with same focus she had been taught once, so many years ago, when learning to tread amidst Eversong trees quiet as a shadow. It is clenching teeth and digging her nails in the flesh of her palm so strongly it hurts, but it is a welcome hurt, grounding, simple enough to deal with. It is forcing herself not to feel, impossible as it is — making herself ignore it, as if that was someone else’s lover, someone she did not know.

Did she know him at all, as it was?

Alleria had always been good at pushing aside unwanted feelings, and she succeeds, even when it is arduous effort. All eyes remain on the naaru, on the demon hunter that steps up to speak to it; all eyes, even her own. She feels what will happen before she processes it; heartbeat racing and body taut as a bowstring ready to snap. True understanding only comes to her, clear as crystal, when Illidan refuses Xe’Ra. She knows, and how could she not? It is watching her tale reenacted with different characters. It is seeing yet another fall prey to a monster who cloaks herself in good intentions, who makes use of righteousness to blind others on her tyranny.

She isn’t sure she can stomach to see it, yet green eyes do not dare look away, barely even blink. It is only when Illidan forcefully frees himself of binding light that Alleria releases breath she hadn’t realize she had been holding, a quiet gasp made soundless by deafening noise; only then gaze is forcefully torn away, the coalescing forces much too blinding to withstand.

There is barely a moment of quiet, briefest second in which she can feel how deeply Illidan’s words resounds with her, how deeply she feels it, from life that was not Xe’Ra’s to take to destiny that is his own, just as hers was, is, will always be. The moment ends too soon. All too quickly, it is brought to an end by a different voice loudly asserting his rage over Illidan’s actions, more vicious and angry and passionate than she remembered seeing in a long time.

When had he last acted like that? The rage upon seeing Lothar fall, perhaps. Turalyon had never been prone to outbursts of anger, seldom allowing himself to act on rage or resent. Lothar… Lothar had been his mentor, closer than even just his commander. There was connection between them, it is secret to no one; a bond, truly. And if any had been deserving of it, Anduin Lothar most certainly had; yet even drawing out such comparison thinking similar feelings would be attached to Xe’Ra sickens her (breaks her heart).

Breaks her further. Both relief and cathartic sense of justice done, found in seeing one pushed into a situation so similar to what Alleria herself had lived through destroy her tormentor, fade all too soon; feelings she had not even had the time to fully feel, truly, barely acknowledged at all amidst surprise and shock and rush of each turn of events. It is too much, too sudden, and amidst the overwhelming sea of feelings she experiences, she does not even know what is it she feels.

And then and there, for the first time in so long she does not remember when it happened last, Alleria feels like falling apart.

She doesn’t. Many years of shutting feelings tight within, burying them within own chest until they cannot hurt (until they hurt all the same, just as deep, just as truly, but all of it is securely beneath the skin) do not fail her then. Alleria barely acknowledges what happens, if focus is entirely on the scene before her; the words are lost in the haze, but she can see Turalyon’s sword (Lothar’s), half metal and half Light, and although she cannot see the wound, she can see Fel blood dripping to the floor, clawed hand holding sword in place even as it carves his flesh. Something Illidan says must have gotten to him, for eventually Turalyon withdraws, and eventually the demon hunter is left to brood in a corner, and eventually the paladin returns to the bridge, perhaps unsure how to go on about his duties then.

They have not been able to touch for many years now, but it is the first time Alleria is glad of it.

Even standing close to him feels like too much; but the mask does not slip, and neither him nor Vereesa nor Arator, not a single person in the multitude of faces within the Vindicaar, seems concerned when she offers some poor excuse of something to do, steps taking her away (away, away, even if she does not know where), aimless until she finds what she was looking for without conscious thought: a distant corner, empty and lonely and dark. Like she is. Where she belongs.

No strength is enough to keep herself together then.

The tears are quiet, if only because she does not dare making noise and drawing attention to herself — it’s not what she wants. Alleria does not resent that none of them noticed her distress; she has never been comfortable with exposing such feelings to others (lie; she had been comfortable enough once, with him, and the thought only causes her to cry more). If the sounds do not escape her, body still shakes with the soundless sobs, heartfelt, hurting, broken.

Xe’Ra is dead! Xe’Ra is dead. Gone, truly and completely this time. Why is it not enough? Why does it still hurt, even when she knows she is glad the Light Mother will never harm her or anyone else in attempt to force her will on them? Why does it hurt, when loathed dreading she had felt upon realizing what Illidan was going to suffer had turned to overwhelming relief, honest joy even, to see such fate averted and Xe’Ra dealt with? Why does it hurt regardless?

(How long have you been silent? How much have you ignored, set aside, pretended not to see? And now that she’s dead, what? Now you pretend and ignore and set aside and stay silent forever, because Xe’Ra is dead and it doesn’t matter anymore.)

Whatever she had suffered, it does not matter; not anymore. Her pain does not matter; this is as much justice as she will ever receive.

Her pain does not matter. And thoughts return to Turalyon, then, Turalyon who had once gone through lengths she expected none to go in order to help her; to offer her a hand she refused time and again, to do whatever he needed do to allow her to heal. Turalyon who shrugged off her concerns in favor of believing in Xe’Ra’s goodwill. Turalyon who knelt in front of Xe’Ra, who offered her respect and adoration he had not spared his so called wife. Turalyon who so eagerly threw himself at Xe’Ra’s killer, in blind rage that was not stopped by the logical thought he could not defeat Illidan, not truly, not when his own power would not have been enough to defeat the Prime Naaru.

Alleria had never resented the lack of further action when she was imprisoned. Turalyon stood with her then, between herself and Xe’Ra even, when he pleaded for her life. It was all she could have asked for; neither of them could defeat her, much less the entire Army of the Light. Alleria never meant to make them enemies, either. It was her path home, to accept Xe’Ra’s sentence; it was how she would reach Azeroth again (how she would see Arator again) — and Turalyon had done what he could. Had done enough.

Had done so much as he was willing to do, she thought now. He could have acted then how he acted now, could have known it was an impossible victory but raised his sword all the same. His lack of action was not because he knew it would be futile; he hadn’t done more because he hadn’t cared enough to do it.

He surely seemed to have a tremendous amount of care for the thing that kept her captive, however.

Arms wrap around her knees, attempt to make herself quieter, to give herself comfort (no; to make herself smaller, perhaps, as if she continued to shrink in her shadowy corner, she might disappear completely). It wouldn’t matter, would it? Arator had an aunt who would always be better mother figure than she could hope to be. He and Vereesa and Sylvanas had all believed her gone for so long; they didn’t need her (Sylvanas is the name that gives her pause; she hadn’t had the chance to meet her, hadn’t seen her in so long… but perhaps it was for the best. Perhaps it would be easier if she had not met any of them at all. At the very least, Sylvanas could be spared the disappointment.)

The Locus-Walker had taught her the Void would play her feelings to their purpose, and it never fails to prove true; her shadow companions, voices without bodies, whisper to fan the flames of her resent, to deepen her sorrow, to offer her comfort. It is barely effective at all; she is drowning in feelings all her own, sinking each time she briefly thinks she might swim again.

There is but one certainty for her, then and there; she does belong to the shadows, in the shadows, irreversibly, irrevocably. It is in the silent darkness she finds as much solace as she could find anywhere; and the cold nothingness of the Void does not feel like such terrible option after all.

#* muse: alleria windrunner / VOID TOUCHED.#* in character: alleria windrunner / A SUN NO LONGER.#* character study: alleria windrunner / WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER.#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & turalyon / DEEP BLUE BUT YOU PAINTED ME GOLDEN.#xe'ra tag tbd.#I tag as if I'd ever bother giving her an actual tag lol #long post cw

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warwaged-archive · 4 years

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@raerns said: How do you think Alleria finds out about the Purge of Dalaran? Does she confront Vereesa about it? What her thoughts and feelings regarding her sister once she learns what Little Moon had done?

UNPROMPTED ASKS // always accepting.

I think someone tells her, probably not Vereesa, and I think it doesn’t matter unless it’s someone she really trusts/respects, because otherwise, as we can see from how she took what Vereesa said about Sylvanas as true without questioning, she’ll believe Vereesa rather than most other people. She might ask Vereesa about it, but she not necessarily would, and if she did she wouldn’t be initially confrontational, because Alleria refuses to believe her sister would have done something like that without a valid reason (and a lot of people might be like ‘hey nothing excuses murdering a bunch of people to drive them out of a neutral city they had every right to be in!!!’ but that’s not how Alleria thinks so aksdnfkjasnd).

So hearing about it won’t change anything because Alleria will stubbornly refuse to believe her sister did a terrible thing, because she has so much blind faith in Vereesa. Taking from Three Sisters and how Vereesa makes herself to be a victim and deliberately lies about what happened between herself and Sylvanas, I really doubt she’d admit to having done what she did in the sense of having killed and imprisoned innocents, so unless it was someone else who could really cast doubt on that, Alleria would believe her.

There are a few people who could change that, though, Arator being the most obvious and most likely, but depending on how the subject was approached, and who was speaking to her, other people could too, given they’d have the opportunity/reason to speak of it. In that case, I think she’d definitely confront Vereesa about it, but even then very willing to hear her out and allow her a chance at an explanation.

Her feelings are complicated because like I said, Alleria willfully ignores the possibility Vereesa may be at fault unless she has to, and this is a particularly sensitive matter because of who Vereesa turned against. That it was their people (and Alleria never being a Blood Elf does not change she felt they were her people still when she returned, the distinction between High and Blood elf really didn’t make that much of a difference to her at first, but that’s a different topic) really makes it all the worse. Doing something like that is inconceivable to her, there’s no good reason to do it (even siding with the Alliance, even being exiled from her homeland, Alleria takes no joy in being in the opposite side of Quel’thalas); she may overlook it if she believes Vereesa acted because she had to, because the sin’dorei were at fault and acting as Horde, not sin’dorei. But otherwise, it not all involved were to blame, if the reasoning is as flimsy as it is, then it would not sit well with Alleria no matter what Vereesa said.

She’d be angry at her for killing their people, disappointed that Vereesa turned against them, that innocent elves died there. But I think the thing here is that regardless of how angry or disappointed she may be, regardless of how much she condemns Vereesa’s actions, the really big matter would be that it would force her to acknowledge she no longer knows her sister as well as she may once have. Little Moon is not who she believed she was. And that means something of their connection is inevitably lost, and it’d hit Alleria pretty hard. A lot of why she believes in Vereesa so blindly is latching on to what little of family she has left when both with her sisters and with her husband and son she feels like everything is falling apart, and well, this would only further it.

Vereesa’s stance on the matter also plays a part on how she’d feel about it, because if she defends her actions as righteous and is later proven wrong, Alleria will also have to deal with doubt, not knowing how much she can simply trust her sister, not knowing what she may have lied about before. And in this case it will be even more difficult to salvage anything of their relationship, I think.

#* muse: alleria windrunner / VOID TOUCHED.#* character study: alleria windrunner / WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER.#* out of character: the mun / THAT GLOOMY GIRL WHO SIGHS A LOT?#* general: answered / DARK WINGS DARK WORDS.#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & vereesa windrunner / COME WHAT MAY SHE IS YOUR SISTER.

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warwaged-archive · 4 years

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lireesa is the more stern parent.

because she was the ranger-general, she was usually busy; she always did try to make time for her family, but I think this may have ended up with things like ‘come, we’re going on a mission’ ‘you know this doesn’t count as family time right’

lireesa taught alleria how to shoot

lireesa probably had a hand in teaching all of them to shoot tbh, but after alleria, siblings would always be involved too like – alleria helped sylvanas, the two of them helped vereesa, and lirath was learning more with his sisters than with his mom.

they were also probably considerably baby when learning to shoot so. tiny windrunners with bows. Someone probably says it’s a bad idea bc they’re still small, to which lireesa is probably like ‘I’m sorry are you trying to tell ME how to raise MY children who I gave birth to’

she was rather conservative and in favor of following tradition, and never expected it would be broken; so when alleria refuses the mantle of ranger-general when she offers to step down, it was, uh, not fun times in windrunner spire

I feel like lireesa would have gotten along better with sylvanas and vereesa; sylvanas because I see them as being more similar in temperament/personality, and vereesa because vereesa was the youngest, and the baby of the family for a long time until lirath was born. that’s not to say she had favorites (if she did, I think she’d never have shown it and each person would probably guess someone different, bc she was good at acting like she had no favorites).

in regard to looks, alleria is the one that looks more like her mom. they’re not incredibly alike, but there is enough resemblance someone who met lireesa would look at alleria and be able to tell she’s her daughter. lirath, considering he’s said to look like alleria, probably looks a lot like their mom too.

their father’s name was helios, and he was a warrior rather than a ranger

he was also a noble, although from a family of minor importance (his last name was dawnstriker, and he set it aside in favor of windrunner when marrying lireesa; part of it was because the windrunners are one of the families of most prestige in quel’thalas, part was because he just wanted to take her last name instead of it being the other way around).

helios would step in to prevent bad fights when lireesa and alleria clashed. probably worked on trying to make both of them more willing to compromise, and tried to get them to make amends when they fought

they? probably? didn’t teach? their children? it’s okay to feel things and demonstrate feelings and talk about them. or how to deal with the bad feelings, specially grief and anger. considering how their children turned out aksdjnakdf

alleria, sylvanas and vereesa are close in age because lireesa and helios decided it was better like that; easier to take time to take care of their children one time than do it three very separate times. it probably also means they had to deal with teen alleria, preteen sylvanas and child vereesa all at once and I pity them.

lirath came much later because he was an opsie baby aksdjnfkj

lireesa always tried very hard to separate family from her job, so she wasn’t partial to any of her children when they became rangers. in fact, she was even more strict when it came to them than she’d be towards the other farstriders.

alleria most of all was subject to this, because of her status as next in line to become ranger-general, but sylvanas also dealt with more of that strictness than vereesa

alleria and lireesa probably clashed a lot due to that — because lireesa would be even more strict with her, but alleria does not submit to orders she doesn’t agree with, not even those of her mother and ranger-general, to which lireesa wouldn’t take well at all in turn.

they did love each other, but lireesa intended to raise her and prepare her to be a great ranger-general one day and alleria had no desire to be ranger-general at all. they had that good old conflict regarding tradition too, because lireesa was very much in favor of upholding it while alleria didn’t care to do things in a certain way just because it’s how it was done.

which is why alleria feels guilty for not having taken the mantle when her mother died — and why she wouldn’t have passed it on to anyone other than sylvanas, who is the one she feels would honor the mantle and make their mother proud in a way alleria herself never would

this on top of sylvanas already being next in line for it ofc

their conflicts aren’t always open fighting. alleria did try her best to carry the weight of her family’s name and her position but she struggled with the more diplomatic aspects of it and she certainly didn’t see herself as a good enough leader. so even though she tried (mostly, for a while), it would take a toll on her to even have to try because it is a burden she doesn’t want to carry and it makes her feel trapped

and that damages their relationship, even if it was otherwise mostly good. she ends up being much closer to her father as a result — because she wouldn’t trust to be vulnerable in front of her mother, and she’d constantly feel pressured to meet her standards, that when they wouldn’t outright clash.

with her father, there are no such concerns.

part of the reason I think she’d try to shoulder the burden of carrying on their family legacy would be to spare her siblings. she knows they will suffer it to some extent (comes with being a windrunner), but because it is so heavy on her, alleria would want to spare the other three as much as she could.

which means she takes on more than she can deal with, and tries to deal with everything alone all the time, and just buries things within herself ——- which also means when she breaks she’s a mess because she doesn’t know how to deal with anything and at the same time can’t ask for help because she has the mindset that she has to do things on her own

lirath is considerably younger than his sisters. alleria is very protective of him, and spoiled him the most she could. he’d be the one amidst his siblings capable of reading her the best in spite of being the youngest, but alleria wouldn’t trust even him with most things because if she wants to spare all of her siblings the most she can, that’s thrice true when it comes to lirath

sylvanas is the one she’d trust the most tbh. they’re closer in age and while alleria feels protective of all her siblings to some extent, this is less true when it comes to sylvanas. they are more the kind to have each other’s backs, I think — pretty much the kind of siblings that poke at each other all the time and end up turning provocation into actual fights, but also the kind that can share secrets and vulnerabilities and would fight together and die together if it came to it.

vereesa is the least close to her. they are still close (the four of them always were), but in comparison to lirath and sylvanas, vereesa isn’t as close to alleria. alleria is also very protective of her, and I’m not sure how vereesa would see that tbh

all of this ofc before lirath and lireesa die

because her siblings meant so much to her and how close they were, she’d definitely want her children to have siblings too, if she hadn’t had arator at the worst time and also with someone she didn’t want to be with lol with a partner she intends to be for life, and in a situation where it would be suitable to have a family, she’d definitely want more than one child. when she comes back to azeroth, if her relationship with turalyon wasn’t, uh, terrible, she’d probably have wanted to have more children with him

#I was looking for this and realized I never brought those headcanons to the new blog #so I just copied everything that was in posts about alleria and her family in this post #* muse: alleria windrunner / VOID TOUCHED.#* character study: alleria windrunner / WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER.#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & turalyon / DEEP BLUE BUT YOU PAINTED ME GOLDEN.#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & sylvanas windrunner & vereesa windrunner / THE LAST OF THE WINDRUNNERS.#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & sylvanas windrunner / A SISTER IS BOTH MIRROR AND OPPOSITE.#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & vereesa windrunner / COME WHAT MAY SHE IS YOUR SISTER.#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & lirath windrunner / YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO BRING THE LIGHT.#lireesa tag tbd.

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warwaged-archive · 4 years

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What were Alleria's relationships like with her family growing up?

send me questions you have about my character!

Alleria’s relationship with her mother was good when she was a child, but it got progressively worse as she grew up and decided she didn’t want to be Ranger-General. Lireesa taught her how to shoot when she was still little. When Alleria was little Lireesa was like, her hero and role model, and I see them as being very close and having a good relationship throughout her childhood, but as a teen it takes a turn for the worse and they never really go back to being as close again. Lireesa was strict, and she cared a lot for tradition and Alleria’s tendency to impulsiveness, her being more wild in nature and less of a tactical planner were probably things Lireesa thought she needed to outgrow in order to become a good General; I don’t think the possibility Alleria didn’t want to be Ranger-General and would in fact refuse to ever crossed Lireesa’s mind, and that Alleria felt too pressured into it to say it until the moment Lireesa decided she wanted to retire and Alleria refused to become Ranger-General. Their relationship gets considerably worse after that, and what would have been occasional disagreements and arguments when Alleria was a teen definitely evolved into much frequent and much worse fights after that. Overall, I think while they did love each other, her mother inadvertently burdened her with lots of expectations that strained their relationship, and that Lireesa’s strictness definitely resulted in some distancing.

She got along really well with her dad though. He was much more easygoing and understanding than her mom, and more fun too, Alleria would say. He’s the one she’d go to if she needed help, and the one who’d have patience to deal with the worst of Alleria’s personality too, because she can be really difficult (which is another reason I see her and Lireesa clashing), but he wouldn’t antagonize her, and his overall approach was probably a lot more about talking things out. Things were always easy with them, and she loved him a lot.

I don’t see the Windrunner sisters being far apart in age, so I think Alleria was an only child for a very short time tbh, or at least what elves would consider a very short time, because considering they live for thousands of years, siblings that are decades apart are probably common, and the way I see it, the Windrunners were only a few years. So there was no great sense of loss on her part when she wasn’t the only child anymore — rather, I think Alleria took to it very easily, and that she was actually very happy about having a sister when Sylvanas was born, and just as happy when Vereesa followed.

With Sylvanas, I see them having a very typical sibling relationship in that they would fight A LOT and for the stupidest reasons, because they’d be poking at each other constantly, but they were in fact close and loved and trusted each other a lot. Alleria might call her an idiot, but if anyone else opens their mouth to say a bad word about Sylvanas, she’d fight them. She’d also fight Sylvanas for being a pest though. There was a competitive element to their relationship, although I see that as being more one-sided from Sylvanas’ side — because Sylvanas has all the ambition Alleria lacks, and she’d probably be very intent on proving she’s not only as good as her big sister, she’s better (sylv voice: hi mom alleria sucks can I be ranger general instead). While Sylvanas and Vereesa are said to be closer, I think Alleria would have been close to Sylvanas too tbh, only in a vastly different way. Sylvanas is the one of her siblings Alleria would be more comfortable trusting with anything, because when it comes to Vereesa and Lirath she’d be much more protective of them.

I see Vereesa as being the family’s baby for a long time, and Lirath only being born when they were all adults. I don’t think Alleria and Vereesa would fight, but I think Vereesa would side with Sylvanas whenever Alleria and her fought akfnaksnf Vereesa being the youngest, Alleria would have been very protective of her in general, very protective big sister, even if they aren’t too distant in age (if there is a 5 year gap from Alleria to Sylvanas and Sylv to Vereesa, that’s very easy to picture bc like, when Vereesa was born Alleria would have been ten, so she’s old enough to have a stance like that rather than to see Vereesa the way she would have seen Sylvanas bc Sylv would have been born when she was five — but that’s just an example because I’m not at all set in how many years apart I think they are). So growing up it is a good relationship, even though not as close as either of them would be to Sylvanas.

As children, the three of them were probably pretty much inseparable, in spite of the two eldest fighting, and they got along well enough. There was probably some distancing growing up due to age differences and them being in very different moments of life, but I don’t see them being really distant even then, just not as close, and they probably grew closer again after reaching adulthood.

#raerns #* muse: alleria windrunner / VOID TOUCHED.#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & sylvanas windrunner & vereesa windrunner / THE LAST OF THE WINDRUNNERS.#lireesa tag tbd.#verath tag tbd.#* character study: alleria windrunner / WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER.

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warwaged-archive · 4 years

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ALLERIA WINDRUNNER

PLACE IN SOCIETY

✖ FINANCIAL – wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty

✖ MEDICAL – fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / deceased

✖ CLASS OR CASTE – upper / lower / middle / working / unsure

✖ EDUCATION – qualified / unqualified / studying

FAMILY

✖ MARITAL STATUS – married, happily / married, unhappily / engaged / partnered / divorced / widow or widower / separated / single / it’s complicated

✖ CHILDREN – has children / no children / wants children / adopted children

✖ FAMILY – close with siblings / not close with siblings / has no siblings / siblings are deceased / it’s complicated

✖ AFFILIATION – orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by both parents / other

TRAITS & TENDENCIES

✖ disorganized / organized / in between

✖ close-minded / open-minded / in between

✖ cautious / reckless / in between

✖ patient / impatient / in between

✖ outspoken / reserved / in between

✖ leader / follower / in between

✖ sympathetic / unsympathetic / in between

✖ optimistic / pessimistic / in between

✖ hardworking / lazy / in between

✖ cultured / uncultured / in between

✖ loyal / disloyal / in between

✖ faithful / unfaithful / in between

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION

✖ SEXUALITY – heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual / omnisexual / demisexual

✖ SEX – sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable

✖ ROMANCE – romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable

✖ SEXUALLY – sexually adventurous / sex experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious / uninterested

ABILITIES

✖ COMBAT SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

✖ LITERACY SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

✖ ARTISTIC SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

✖ TECHNICAL SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

TAGGED BY: @lady-proudmoore thank you!

TAGGING: you who took the time to read this. yes, you. do the thing and say I tagged you.

#* muse: alleria windrunner / VOID TOUCHED.#* character study: alleria windrunner / WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER.#* out of character: the mun / THAT GLOOMY GIRL WHO SIGHS A LOT?

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warwaged-archive · 4 years

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THE ULTIMATE TRAIT LIST: NEGATIVE TRAITS

use BOLD what applies to your muse use ITALIC for what is there - but not as strong!

Abrasive ∥ Abrupt ∥ Agonizing ∥ Aggressive ∥ Aimless ∥ Aloof ∥ Amoral ∥ Angry ∥ Anxious ∥ Apathetic ∥ Arbitrary ∥ Argumentative ∥ Arrogant ∥ Artificial ∥ Asocial ∥ Bewildered ∥ Bizarre ∥ Bland ∥ Blunt ∥ Boisterous ∥ Brittle ∥ Brutal ∥ Calculating ∥ Callous ∥ Cantankerous ∥ Careless ∥ Charmless ∥ Childish ∥ Clumsy ∥ Coarse ∥ Cold ∥ Colorless ∥ Complacent ∥ Complaining ∥ Compulsive ∥ Conceited ∥ Condemnatory ∥ Conformist ∥ Confused ∥ Contemptible ∥ Conventional ∥ Cowardly ∥ Crass ∥ Crazy ∥ Criminal ∥ Critical ∥ Crude ∥ Cruel ∥ Cynical ∥ Decadent ∥ Deceitful ∥ Delicate ∥ Demanding ∥ Dependent ∥ Desperate ∥ Destructive ∥ Devious ∥ Difficult ∥ Disconcerting ∥ Discontented ∥ Discouraging ∥ Discourteous ∥ Dishonest ∥ Disloyal ∥ Disobedient ∥ Disorderly ∥ Disorganized ∥ Disputatious ∥ Disrespectful ∥ Disruptive ∥ Dissonant ∥ Distractible ∥ Disturbing ∥ Dogmatic ∥ Domineering ∥ Dull ∥ Easily Discouraged ∥ Egocentric ∥ Envious ∥ Erratic ∥ Escapist ∥ Extravagant ∥ Extreme ∥ Faithless ∥ False ∥ Fanatical ∥ Fanciful ∥ Fatalistic ∥ Fawning ∥ Fearful ∥ Fickle ∥ Fiery ∥ Fixed ∥ Flamboyant ∥ Foolish ∥ Forgetful ∥ Fraudulent ∥ Frightening ∥ Frivolous ∥ Gloomy ∥ Graceless ∥ Greedy ∥ Grim ∥ Gullible ∥ Hateful ∥ Haughty ∥ Hedonistic ∥ Hesitant ∥ Hidebound ∥ High-handed ∥ Hostile ∥ Ignorant ∥ Imitative ∥ Impatient ∥ Impractical ∥ Imprudent ∥ Impulsive ∥ Inconsiderate ∥ Incurious ∥ Indecisive ∥ Indulgent ∥ Inert ∥ Inhibited ∥ Insecure ∥ Insensitive ∥ Insincere ∥ Insulting ∥ Intolerant ∥ Irascible ∥ Irrational ∥ Irresponsible ∥ Irritable ∥ Lazy ∥ Malicious ∥ Mannerlessly ∥ Mechanical ∥ Meddlesome ∥ Melancholic ∥ Messy ∥ Miserable ∥ Miserly ∥ Misguided ∥ Mistaken ∥ Money-minded ∥ Moody ∥ Morbid ∥ Muddle-headed ∥ Naive ∥ Narcissistic ∥ Narrow ∥ Narrow-minded ∥ Negative ∥ Neglectful ∥ Neurotic ∥ Nihilistic ∥ Obnoxious ∥ Obsessive ∥ Obvious ∥ Odd ∥ Offhand ∥ One-dimensional ∥ One-sided ∥ Opinionated ∥ Opportunistic ∥ Oppressed ∥ Outrageous ∥ Paranoid ∥ Passive ∥ Pedantic ∥ Perverse ∥ Petty ∥ Plodding ∥ Pompous ∥ Possessive ∥ Power-hungry ∥ Predatory ∥ Prejudiced ∥ Presumptuous ∥ Pretentious ∥ Prim ∥ Procrastinating ∥ Provocative ∥ Puritanical ∥ Quirky ∥ Reactionary ∥ Reactive ∥ Regimental ∥ Regretful ∥ Repentant ∥ Repressed ∥ Resentful ∥ Ridiculous ∥ Rigid ∥ Ritualistic ∥ Ruined ∥ Sadistic ∥ Sanctimonious ∥ Scheming ∥ Scornful ∥ Secretive ∥ Sedentary ∥ Selfish ∥ Self-indulgent ∥ Shallow ∥ Short-sighted ∥ Sloppy ∥ Slow ∥ Sly ∥ Small-thinking ∥ Softheaded ∥ Sordid ∥ Steely ∥ Stiff ∥ Stupid ∥ Submissive ∥ Superficial ∥ Superstitious ∥ Suspicious ∥ Tactless ∥ Tasteless ∥ Tense ∥ Thievish ∥ Thoughtless ∥ Timid ∥ Transparent ∥ Treacherous ∥ Trendy ∥ Troublesome ∥ Unappreciative ∥ Uncaring ∥ Uncharitable ∥ Unconvincing ∥ Uncooperative ∥ Uncreative ∥ Uncritical ∥ Unctuous ∥ Undisciplined ∥ Unfriendly ∥ Ungrateful ∥ Unhealthy ∥ Unimaginative ∥ Unimpressive ∥ Unlovable ∥ Unpolished ∥ Unprincipled ∥ Unrealistic ∥ Unreflective ∥ Unreliable ∥ Unrestrained ∥ Unstable ∥ Vacuous ∥ Vague ∥ Venomous ∥ Vindictive ∥ Vulnerable ∥ Weak ∥ Willful

TAGGED BY: I stole from @ceruleanelf

TAGGING: continue the cycle and steal from me

#* muse: alleria windrunner / VOID TOUCHED.#* character study: alleria windrunner / WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER.#* out of character: the mun / THAT GLOOMY GIRL WHO SIGHS A LOT?

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warwaged-archive · 4 years

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WHICH HOZIER SONG REPRESENTS HOW YOU LOVE?

SUNLIGHT

Love to you is sacrifice. You are acutely aware of the heartache that comes with love, but it is well worth it to you. You gladly welcome the pain if it means having love for even a moment. You have a very “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” vibe to your love. But this sacrifice love also equals devotion. There’s something so powerful about loving someone so much that you’re willing to accept the heartache; that your love together overweighs that. You also want to give when you are in love. Whether that be material items, sentimental things that you make yourself, or just more love back; you love to show someone love by giving and sharing what you have.

FROM EDEN

Love for you is about comfort and familiarity. Love is that feeling of coming home. It’s about always finding a way back to each other no matter what, because your love is stronger than what can keep you apart. “I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door” fits this so perfectly. Overcoming anything that has separated you, but also there’s something so gentle and true about waiting at your lover’s doorstep. It’s a pure connection of patience and belonging. You have belonged together since the beginning of time, and you feel that in your chest when you see them. There’s a magical eternity there between your souls.

TAGGED BY: @embercrested ty ♡ TAGGING: @ceruleanelf @sunrunnerrs @shadowsblades @aen-consilium and whoever else wants to but wasn’t tagged yet feel free to do the thing and say I tagged you

#* muse: alleria windrunner / VOID TOUCHED.#* character study: alleria windrunner / WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER.#* muse: tyrande whisperwind / MOONLIGHTED.#* character study: tyrande whisperwind / MOON SOAKED AND DAWN FLAVORED.#I liked it a lot so I did it for more than one kasndfkjandf #the results I got were really fitting c':#I did some others but I don't have icons and was too lazy to make them to post #nathanos got take me to church as is only fitting I'd accept nothing less #tiffin got cherry wine

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warwaged-archive · 4 years

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If Alleria had remained on Azeroth and had been present for the Fall of Silvermoon and its aftermath... would she have stayed as quel'dorei or become sin'dorei? How might other events have changed?

I believe that if she had stayed and survived she would have become sin’dorei. Alleria’s problem with the Blood Elves when she returns isn’t at all what they decided to do to survive in this case; her problem with them is their bond to the Horde. She is very much the kind of person that wouldn’t be beyond doing what needed be done for her people’s survival.

She was a High Elf who wasn’t particularly connected to magic, if at all — of course, she was still connected to the Sunwell, as they all are, but she also had a deep connection with nature and the land (seeing the forest of Quel’Thalas burning hurts her very deeply, back in the Second War, and even when they go to Draenor, the lack of life in the land itself is something that bothers her). And the wiki says the Farstriders were less affected by the magic addiction and withdrawal (which I believe to be connected to what I just said, though a canonical reason isn’t given).

I think she would have been able to follow the High Elves’ path, even if it is harder, precisely because of that. But while she could do it, Alleria would see clearly enough that it was a longer, more arduous path, and that not everyone would be able to follow. If they had time to recover, than she would certainly advocate for this path instead — but they needed to survive, and there was no time to do the noble thing if it would end up with her people extinct. It isn’t the best choice, and she would know it, but it is also the only one that would give them a chance to fight back, reclaim their land and survive; to Alleria, there isn’t really a choice to be made in that context. The survival of their people and reclaiming of their lands is more important than doing the ‘right’ thing — in fact, to her, that which would ensure they’d have a chance would be the right thing to do.

From an individual point of view, Alleria would have been wary of the magisters and the teachings they brought from Kael’thas, but she would put her people before herself and what she considered right. She wouldn’t look at it individually, but from the point of view that this was about her entire race.

That said, when it comes to the Horde it is a different matter. I mean, she’s fought demons for a thousand years and when she returns she still has no love or respect for the Horde, even though they were also fighting the Legion when she returns. And I don’t think that’s really hard to understand, because their attack on Quel’Thalas in the Second War hit her hard enough that she wasn’t only devastated, she was suicidal. She delighted in watching the orcs suffer because she thought they had to suffer like her family had — and even when they were in pain, it was not enough. She threw herself in battle, wanting to bring down as many orcs as she could, but part of her did this because she hoped to die as well. Her hatred and resent run way too deeply for her to ever be willing to work with them. To Alleria, that would be the same as someone suggesting they allied themselves with the Scourge: absurd, unthinkable and repulsive. Even after she’s finally grieved those she lost and let go of some of her hatred, the resent would always be there. She can’t forgive or forget, not completely.

(I do think she would have overcome it eventually, only in a different way from what Beyond the Dark Portal shows. If she stayed, it may have been harder because she’d be both falling apart and intent on keeping it together to be there for her sisters; but I think Sylvanas and Vereesa, as well as being home and with her friends, would have led her to healing with time. No, we don’t need Turalyon for that to happen. To be very honest, I don’t even agree with the drastic change the book portrays on that regard, but that’s a topic for another time.)

So that would leave her in a complicated position. On the one hand, she would be supportive of her people doing what they needed to do to survive. She would support Lor’themar’s decision in favor of the magisters, though she wouldn’t support his banishing the Farstriders that voiced their disagreement. On the other hand, when they need allies and the Horde offers them help everyone else has denied, she’d be conflicted — because well, they do need allies, but they shouldn’t ally themselves with the Horde. It isn’t the same Horde she fought, I know, but Alleria’s trauma would blind her to it.

At the same time, the Alliance turning their backs on them would be a hard blow for her to take. She’s fought with them, yes, as have many others of her people — but in their time of need, when her own king didn’t really believe their plight, Alleria brought them her rangers to help. No one sent her. She went because there was a real threat and she would honor their bond to the Arathi, called upon through Lothar. Yes, it was Anasterian who left the Alliance in the first place, so yes, she would be able to see how this was relevant in the Alliance not being willing to help, but she would be wounded by their denial all the same. I think she would have sought to go after them herself, though I don’t think it would have changed the outcome — she would be denied help for her people in their time of greatest need, and if it wouldn’t make a difference in the end, to Alleria personally it would have made a world of difference in how she views the Alliance.

So she wouldn’t look at the Alliance with good eyes, but neither would she be eager to accept the Horde’s aid. Honestly, I don’t know how that would have gone, because she isn’t the kind to shut up and accept things she disagrees with, no matter who she’s talking to, but Alleria herself wouldn’t really know what to do. Her disagreement may lead her to be banished all the same, since Lor’themar didn’t want his people divided and she may have caused division. What I believe more likely is that seeing that they needed help and wouldn’t get it elsewhere, Alleria would have ended up biting back her hatred and keeping it to herself, even if she would be hating every moment of having to work with the Horde. But it would be a means to an end, and she can submit to orders is she sees they are necessary, regardless of how unwilling, and that would have been the case.

So, what changes? I’m not sure, but I don’t think much changes as far as world state goes (minus Legion stuff, of course, and her role in it as well as in saving the ren’dorei). If she stays and survives, she’ll be fighting her damned hardest to save Quel’Thalas; but legendary skill and legendary weapon don’t make her more than just one ranger. If she survived, and she could easily fall alongside Sylvanas, Alleria would become Ranger-General after her sister’s death; she never wanted to, but she would have felt she had to, then. She would feel guilty for not taking on the mantle after her mother’s death, for it not being her who fought and died as General. It would be a heavy burden for her to carry, but I don’t think she’d be able to refuse it again because of how guilty she would feel. Not only that, she would want to do what needed to be done and honor Sylvanas’ sacrifice. It would hit her very hard, to the point I think the only thing that would prevent her from becoming suicidal again would be precisely that she would try her best not to let her sister have died in vain, and would fight very hard for the survival of the few who are left.

The world state is vastly the same, but Alleria herself would be heavily changed by everything. She would resent the Alliance and the humans in a way she doesn’t do now, and she would have been more willing to act beside the Horde than she is. There’s a good chance she would have grown closed off, harsher and even bitter, resenting of many things but mostly of herself — because she wasn’t able to save her home for a second time, because she wasn’t able to save her people for a second time, because she wasn’t able to save her family for a second time. It would be losing everything all over again; and this time, I’m uncertain she would be able to truly recover.

I do think there is one thing that might affect the world state somewhat, and that is that Alleria would not outright shun Sylvanas when she tries to come back. I do think she would have supported Lor’themar being cautious, as they didn’t know for sure Sylvanas was in control of herself, but Alleria wouldn’t ever simply refuse her like it happens in canon. What she would do is try to be sure her sister was still herself, and I’m pretty sure she would decide that she is --- and Alleria would not abandon her then.

The most amusing thing, to me, is that in this situation as much as in canon, I think Arator would be the one thing she would cling to that would keep her sane, and prevent that she fell to darkness completely.

#* muse: alleria windrunner / VOID TOUCHED.#* character study: alleria windrunner / WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER.#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & sylvanas windrunner / A SISTER IS BOTH MIRROR AND OPPOSITE.#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & arator windrunner / SUNSHINE ON HER DARKEST DAYS.#* general: queue / LINE OF SUCCESSION.

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warwaged-archive · 4 years

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redeeming-sun said: Did Alleria ever read any of his [Turalyon’s] letters? What did they say? Are you ever going to stop hurting me?

She never read them.

When the first letter arrived, Alleria didn’t know whether she was furious at his persistence, sad for breaking his heart, or glad that he cared enough to reach out to her again even after all her attempts to push him away. She settles for anger, of course; it’s the default emotion by then, and Arator has yet to be born and dissuade some of it. Between Sylvanas’ intrigued glances and Vereesa’s curious inquiries, Alleria chose to toss it into the fire before ever opening it.

The second one took a while to arrive. He expected a reply, of course, but she never sent one; and it was only after giving up on it ever arriving that Turalyon wrote again (maybe the letter had been lost, maybe she had never received it at all; maybe she was still purposefully avoiding him, but I doubt he wanted to believe this to be the reason for it). By then, I expect she’d be well into her pregnancy, and when it arrives she feels guilty for the first time — guilty of never reading the first letter, guilty of never writing to let him know of the baby if nothing else. This letter she keeps in her hands for so long the paper starts bearing the light marks of fingertips long pressed against it.

She never opens it, though, can never bring herself to. He is human, and their lives are short, and their loves shorter; surely he will recover from his heartbreak soon enough. What use would be writing him? All it would do would be give him hopes for things she had no intention to go through with. Alleria would be fine with her baby in Quel’thalas, and he would be fine in his human kingdom, perhaps even have a family of his own. She didn’t want him near. There was no future for them anyways.

But this letter she never manages to destroy.

The ones that follow cause mixed reactions. Sometimes the sight of them makes her enraged (why won’t he give up? isn’t it clear she has no intention to write back?), sometimes they hurt her in a way she doesn’t understand (and ignores and buries because there is no room in her for hurt anymore, and she refuses to even acknowledge it at all). Sometimes the guilt comes back; one of them arrives when she has Arator in her arms, and his tiny hands tried to reach for the words a father he would not meet wrote to a mother who refused them. Sometimes she looks at them, stashed away amidst her personal things, secret even though it was no secret she had received them, never opened and never to be — and sometimes she would want to, almost do it before giving up, almost throwing them away before returning them to the same place and leaving them there, until rediscovering them by chance after forgetting they were there at all, or uncovering them to add a new one to the pile.

They never stop coming, but she stops receiving them. It is hatred that overwhelms her then, hatred for the world, for her family’s murderers, for herself. For him, too, unearned as it is. From herself most of all, and that he cares for her when she absolutely does not deserve it only further pushes her away. And hatred drives her further away from home and last of things she loves, last of people she loves, and there is no place in her life anymore for letters, even those she will never open.

She regrets not reading them once they are together again, conversations done and feelings bared and forgiveness received. She thinks she might, once they go back home, even if he says he could tell her about each letter he had ever written her. That will never come to be, of course; she would never get the chance, returning to a home long destroyed and a land who shuns her.

They are not love letters; not all of them, at least. They are as varied as her reactions to them, some offers of friendship and comfort and sympathy for the pain he knew her to be in, some a baring of his own feelings, some yet nothing more than attempt at conversation, trivial matters, something that reminded him of her like the feather he sent alongside the letter (she so enjoyed wearing them), or the sunflowers growing near the still-in-construction cathedral. He doesn’t know if she reads them, of course, having only silence meet him time and again; but he hopes she does, writes even if she doesn’t. Even as years pass, she is never far from his thoughts, always inspiring yet another letter to be written; yet another letter to be left unopened.

EXCUSE YOU YOU BREAK MY HEART ALL THE TIME THEN ASK WHEN I WILL STOP? rude

#* muse: alleria windrunner / VOID TOUCHED.#* character study: alleria windrunner / WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER.#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & turalyon / DEEP BLUE BUT YOU PAINTED ME GOLDEN.#I guess I have alleria feels in general tbh

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warwaged-archive · 4 years

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Under what conditions would Alleria encourage others to the void?

Basically none. In spite of her choices, she wouldn’t encourage anyone to follow her path. It isn’t easy to keep the Void under control, specially considering it will be trying to take away control from you the entire time. It isn’t easy to even retain your sanity when in contact with it (it was the first thing the Locus-Walker taught her because it is the most important: not being able to keep her sanity, what she could do with that power wouldn’t matter in the long run — and the Void is to blame for Deathwing, for example, because the whispers eventually drove Neltharion mad, and this is a Dragon Aspect we’re talking about, so it’s definitely not something that is easy to do). Void magic is dangerous. Sometimes the needs outweigh the dangers, but If you have a choice, Alleria would encourage you not to use it.

That said, there is only one stance I can see her encouraging someone to make use of the Void — and it is to fight it. Even if she uses Void magic against the Legion and this is her purpose in the beginning, it isn’t only that. In A Thousand Years of War, she states this to Xe’Ra, when the Naaru gives her the ultimatum about stopping her research on the Void: “I understand the danger. But I am a hunter. I think as my prey does. We fight the Burning Legion now, but one day we shall face the Void. I would prefer learning how its creatures think before that war begins.” So yes, she thinks the Void can be useful against the Legion, but after seeing what the Void did to a planet, she’s already planning on how to fight it in Azeroth, not just how to use it in the current war. To Alleria, understanding it would be the first step to finding its weaknesses; and if using the Void to combat it ended up being the best way to fight it, then I think she’d encourage those who were willing, and who believed they could endure it and make the required sacrifices. That would only happen if she saw it as a need, though. Alleria is more likely to discourage people than to encourage them when it comes to using the Void.

Other than that, she really wouldn’t encourage anyone to.

#* muse: alleria windrunner / VOID TOUCHED.#* character study: alleria windrunner / WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER.

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warwaged-archive · 4 years

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A thousand years away from your son is a long time. During it, what memories of Arator are most precious to Alleria? Which memories did she think of when she missed him?

SEND ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY MUSE !

It is. And she had way too little time with him before disappearing, so there wasn’t much she could hold on to. I think her memories would be less of one specific event, and more of things like, or how he laughed when tickled, or just, his smile, his laughter, how it felt to hold him close to her chest when he was still tiny, his first steps, carrying him to bed when he was exhausted, first words and blabbering nonsense; because she had so little, I think Alleria would try to remember all of it as much as she could, but specially the little things.

It’s always less about events and more about remembering him. For example, baby milestones like his first actual word, while of course significant, aren’t as important as remembering what he looked like, how he smiled or how it felt to hug him. Because well, if she was there those things might be routine, but she isn’t, and she knew she likely wouldn’t be for many years still, so it is remembering him and looking back on all the good moments they had and how happy he made her, and how happy he seemed to be.

I think she would probably look back even to the less pleasant parts, and that she’d do it fondly too because like I said, it is about remembering him, not specific events. So something about Arator making a mess of something and looking like an absolute baby angel even though he was caught, sleepless nights when she was just fretting over not knowing what to do to soothe him, I think she’d try to remember everything. This ones, though, I feel like she would be less likely to reflect on by herself; she would try to remember everything, but those are the ones I can really see her being sure to share with Turalyon too, because they’re about Arator, and they are some of which would make things feel more real, in a way, or at least bring him as close to the child he never got to meet as possible.

And after Xe’Ra allowed her that one vision of him as a child, that was definitely one of the memories that stuck with her, even if she wasn’t really there. It was the first time she saw him in years, and the last she would see before going back to Azeroth, so it was definitely something that stuck with her and that she would have tried to remember too.

Every memory she had of him is important to her. Each and every one, no matter what they’re about. So when she tried to think of him, when she missed him and tried to remember, she would have tried to remember him, much more so than specific happenings. It wasn’t always the same; sometimes memories would be not just about Arator alone, but about him and her sisters, for example (Sylvanas holding baby Arator with a gentleness she rarely displayed so openly, Vereesa playing games with two year old Arator, things both routine and very specific), or about him and other people who were important to her (uncle Halduron? yes uncle Halduron).

But when she missed him the most, she would remember when it was just the two of them, or that not really had other people involved in it, like, how he would always reach out to grab her hair when he was a baby, or how he smiled when she sung to him, how it felt to hold him, or smol Arator going to her bed because he wanted to sleep with his mama. When it was particularly hard for her, she would probably spend so much time remembering that she would eventually reach memories that are not as nice because of how she was at the time; those tend to be more specific, like the one time she received one of Turalyon’s letters and baby Arator reached for it as if he knew what it was and who it was from, or two year old Arator accidentally catching her crying but not really understanding what’s going on because he was too young to. Even those are memories she wouldn’t really push aside because it really is what I said before: she tries to remember him, as completely as she is able to.

#redeeming-sun #* muse: alleria windrunner / VOID TOUCHED.#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & arator windrunner / ALL THINGS SOFT AND BEAUTIFUL AND BRIGHT WOULD BE BURIED WITH HIM. [ REDEEMINGSUN ]#* dynamics: alleria windrunner & arator windrunner / SUNSHINE ON HER DARKEST DAYS.#* character study: alleria windrunner / WILD AND WARM LIKE SUMMER.

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