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human-trash-fire · 3 years

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I don’t watch anime, like with the exception Yuri on Ice once/ being in the room when it’s on, I never have.

So anyways I started My Hero Academia solely because I saw some dope fanart for characters and was like “okay I’ma try it.”

I have no clue what it’s about but here are my reactions: (will add to this in reblog was I go)

This green haired kid makes me sad- stupid foot bone

Wow mom not cool

Eww the blonde kid is an asshole

How many names do they all have?!

Is that the captain America guy? He looks like such a tweaker

Oooooooooo secret time

Shit someone save the mean kid I like him for no reason whatsoever

Green goo monster is real wack

SECRET POWER MONTAGE

Pollution is shitty, pick up your trash fools

HE EATS A HAIR. ohhhhhh this feels very Ed Gein

Go little green haired twink gooooo

Oh sheiiiiiit he is like not doing great

I don’t like the magic belly button idk why but it freaks me out

Metal calves is a little much. Someone give that boy a sedative

Oh shit. On NOOOOOOO

Also metal calf’s with the look and run- what a duck move

Save the nice mouse girl!!!!

Oh crap sauce he broke his whole shit! Like floppy legs and everything

He has to get in tho bc like that’s the whole point of being a main character THEY BETTER LET HIM IN AJAKAJSKAJAKA

HE HAS BEEN SQUEEZING HIS GRIPPIES FOR LIKE A YEAR GIVE HIM HIS ACCEPTANCE MOTHER FUCKERS HE AMA ✨pure✨

Yo this teacher just rolling up looking high as shit in a sleeping bag is a whole ass mood™️ like same bro. If I could I’d live in a sleeping bag

that scarf is chill

Sirius Blck vibes for no reason

Wooooooooooab expelled?! He might be less cool than I thought

Oooof this is painful, like Izuku is so sweaty all the time but also like much smol bean. Feel deep need to protect

Still really like this Bakugou dude- idk why. Maybe it’s the damage 🤣

All Might out here flexing for 3hrs a day with the muscles but like what does he do for his other classes? Does he not have any

Diggin the costumes

Except why he look like the energized bunny tho. It’s supes cute his mom made it but also

Seriously Bakugou looks legit as fuck

What’s up with that half and half hair kid I’ve seen in all the art? He looks like someone glued cotton puffs to his body. I don’t like this outfit

How is anyone this optimistic?

Of COURSE they have to fight each other bc plot

Woah man, I’m like into grenade hands but this seems harsh

DO NOT SHOOT THE BOY YOU CLEARLY HAVE MIXED FEELINGS FOR ITS RUDE

holy FUCK

Toasty handz done lost his fucking shit

That attack tho was clutch with the timing

Half and half hair guy- like I literally watched this show bc someone made cool art of you and you’ve said one sentence

But you still have potential

When you ditch the marshmallow outfit also what’s your power quirk thingy

Also this bird faced dude and frog girl I’m kinda confused by

Woooooah metal calf’s taking this real serious™️ and that’s on type A personality shit

Running running running

I feel like team hero would be all like that but one of them is barfing rainbows and little Izuku is straight up *le dead*

Yo, the nurse lady with the kisses is gon get so tired of his ass

Me @my partner in the other room “DOES HE EVER STOP BREAKING SHIT OR IS HE A ONE HIT WONDER FOREVER?!”

Apparently it takes ✨patience✨ he got swole In like one episode and now? Like 8 broken bones

How am I on episode 8?

This theme music was annoying but now I’m dancing in my room because okay then

shoot spicy hands is in trouble- like idk why I like him? Is it because I like toxic problem children with deep seeded issues?

And also why does he feel like he is secretly not with the straight

Is everyone going to be straight? The art I saw promised the gay- it’s why I’m here

Okay- Momo whoever you are: nice boobs but that BRAIN THO

Up next: a guy with 9 arms and an invisible girl

Like the fur hood but on the shoulder it’s a ✨statement piece✨

Replicate any body part?

YO ICY TWO-HAIR IS HERE

seriously what is this tin foil

ELSA

he speaks

Yooooooo he froze the whole ass fucking building that’s on BDE

Oh shit the tail. Did NOT see that coming

oh nooo WHAT HE HAS HOT HNDS TOOOOOOO

Bakugou about to be big mad

Todoroki (had to look up spelling) this dude is awesome

Elbow tape?

This spiked haired ginger with the bane mask and sharp teeth seems real excited about life

“No major injuries except for my adopted son who is a walking disaster”

*Cough cough * tweaker dads back- this answered my teaching question tho

“Already a regular patient” 🤣🤣🤣 she is like Edna mode sized nana

I feel like this is foreshadowing that only 4 peeps know he ate a magic musketeers hair

I really need to sleep but homie still in the hospital so I can’t

“Choke me with his scarf” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

#Friendsssssss

Jesus metal calves needs a fucking drink idgaf if he 12 he looks 42 and gives me stress

Oh no, Bakugou is big pouty. Come back bro- y’all can kiss and make up it’s fine. Without you there is no plot

NO HE ISNT GOONG TO TWLL HOM NO NO NO

Jesus fucking shit fire he just barfed that info out on the floor

Pro Tip: don’t tell this kid shit

Friends to Enemies to super enemies to......?????

Yo number one hero or big villain energy? Regardless I stan your problematic ass

DAD’S BACK

#HeroSpeechTime

Yo no COME BACK FOOL

“Kee chasing after him” there is NO WAY this munchkin is straight

#my hero academia #mha #first time watching #live reaction #midoriya izuku #todoroki shōto #katsuki bakugou #all might

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ashistrashhh · 3 years

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here are some fic recs!! including sakuatsu, bokuaka, kuroken and matsuhana bc i couldnt help myself

if you want, ask me about a certain ship and ill give you some recs!

-sakuatsu-

Marble and Sandstone by red_camellia

rating: G words: 12,937 chapters: 2/2

author summary: Miya Atsumu only cares about volleyball and nothing else. That is, until he develops a strange obsession with the marble statue of a young man that seems vaguely familiar in his university's arts department. One day that statue comes alive as the very real Sakusa Kiyoomi, and they are left with the mystery of why Sakusa Kiyoomi was turned into a statue and only came back to life when Atsumu touched him. Their new-found connection and the strange mystery turns Atsumu's life upside down, not least because of his growing feelings for Sakusa.

my notes: this was a rlly cute fic!!! 11/10 would read again!!

let it go (paint my body gold) by lunarism

rating: T words: 3,272 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It becomes a routine for them. Sometimes they go grocery shopping and make dinner together, other times they end up talking until Sakusa feels like his own shower and bed is calling him. Every single time Sakusa gets home, shrugs his coat off, balls it up, and proceeds to scream profusely into the fabric for a few minutes.

my notes: pining!!! sakusa!!! also casual painter!atsumu!!! and they paint together!!!

craft a miracle with these hands, lips, (silence) by chrysanthe (sonderesque)

rating: T words: 4,252 chapters: 1/1

author summary: ‘Someone is here to ruin your night,’ his door tells him. ‘You should let them in.’ “I’M HOMELESS OMI-OMI. HOMELESS,” yells the one here to ruin his night. “LET ME IN.”

(What does Kiyoomi sell his sanctuary for?)

my notes: hnnn rlly fuckin cute,, and domestic,,,,

Clipped To You by littleboat

rating: T words: 8,174 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It starts with Hinata Natsu, of all people.

Well, if Atsumu’s being honest with himself, it started way before that, but he’s not, so that’s besides the point. And thankfully, he’s just petty enough to blame all of his problems on a thirteen year old girl.

or Sakusa starts wearing hair clips and Atsumu is more than a little obsessed

my notes: minor kagehina, bokuaka // god these fics rlly make me simp for fictional characters even more than i should. but!! sakusa!!! in hairclips!!! and a pining atsumu!!!

learn how to lay me down in something other than danger, other than fury by rosevtea

words: 34,211 chapters: 1/1

author summary: All of the ways fellow college TA Miya Atsumu reinvents Kiyoomi's definition of normal.

my notes: god i loved this. it’s a fake dating au and like,, even though they’re “dating” sakusa keeps letting his guard down little by little around atsumu and it surprises everyone. komori and akaashi just know that they’re were genuinely pining for eachother

among probabilities and a thousand fates by aalphard

rating: T words: 15,675 chapters: 1/1

author summary: prompt fill for “in a world where the red string of fate exists, person a’s finger always twitches when person b, who can see the string, tugs on their string” | or sakusa thought he had a tic and atsumu liked to see his confused expression when it started to happen exclusively when he was around.

my notes: i! loved! it!! so basically atsumu and osamu have the rare gift of seeing the red string of fate, so they know its real but sakusa, like most other people dont believe it exists. so atsumu gives sakusa a (kinda) hard time. rlly cute!! i love soulmate aus!

-bokuaka-

love in the time of wifi by dalyeau

rating: G words: 4,177 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Akaashi is coming to terms with the fact that he might be romantically interested in his volleyball captain. Hence, doing what any sixteen year old with a problem should do. He asks about it online.

my notes: really cute fic about akaashi asking what he should do about his crush on a site similar to reddit. its kinda a “i didnt know it was you” kind of fic and it made me happy

steam by orphan_account

rating: E words: 8,474 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

bokuto: why is he so hot bokuto: why am i so gay kuroo: LMAO you mean your vice captain right bokuto: yeah

The coach blew the whistle for practice to begin, and Bokuto drummed his fingers against the bleachers, awaiting Kuroo’s reply. He was about to walk away, when his phone buzzed in his hand.kuroo: i got this bro bokuto: what bokuto: wtf does that mean

Bokuto started to panic.

my notes: explicit!!! but really wholesome. kuroo is honestly the best wingman. i also think this is my favourite bokuaka smutfic??

just to miss the sun by rosevtea

rating: T words: 15,126 chapters:1/1

author summary: Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.

my notes: akaashi is a booktuber and bokuto crashes one of his streams. fans begin to speculate. rlly fluffy and can u tell i like bokuaka

brain fish by iceblinks

rating: T words: 12,026 chapters: 6/6

author summary: Akaashi wakes up to a string of texts from an unknown number.

my notes: i love text fics and i love wrong number aus so u can tell how much i loved this. really fluffy and i come back to it time to time

-kuroken-

us three by honey_s

rating: T words: 5,137 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo’s gaze flits over to the utensil. His eyes bulge out of his skull. “Wh—is that a meat hammer? Put it back!” Akaashi’s head recoils back in confusion. “I don’t understand the problem here.” “Why on Earth have you got a fucking meat hammer? We aren’t going to kill somebody!” “Well,” Akaashi begins, clearly taken aback, “I apologise for assuming. I had heard Kenma-san had been hurt in school and after getting a message from both of you to meet late at night, I merely filled in the blanks and assumed we were going to beat someone up, for lack of a better term.” “Not literally! I meant metaphorically, or figuratively, or something!” “Idiomically?” “That isn’t a word, Bokuto-san.” “Jesus Christ,” Kuroo groans, dropping his head into his hands. “We're going to jail."

my notes: bokuaka and kuroo are ready to beat someone up for kenma!! and we stan!!

Cherry Pits and Cat Tattoos by strawberryriver

rating: G words: 6,141 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

Kuroo has been in communication with his soulmate ever since they were kids. They've known each other for so long that he never really worried about when or how he would meet them. At least, not until he meets the roommate of Bokuto's soulmate.Soulmate AU in which things written on your skin show up on your soulmate. Companion piece/same AU as Serendipty

--------------------

Kuroo Tetsurou liked to write on his arms. Despite his mother's half-serious warnings about “ink poisoning” or staining his skin, he insisted on marking his arms and legs wherever he could. Not like his best-friend-since-always Bokuto Koutaro, who had to write on his arms or he’d forget to breathe, but artfully. He’d draw designs, animals, the occasional chemical compound. The whole idea behind soulmates fascinated him: how one person could mark their arm and someone potentially thousands of miles away, would have that same mark appear. The amount of articles, studies, and books he’d read about the topic, even at a young age, could put an undergrad researcher to shame.

my notes: again with the soulmate au bc i cannot help myself. but really cute!!! probably gonna read this again later!

Boom, Toasted by protostar (hearthope)

rated: T words: 6,782 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

FROM: yuuji any bets on who hes texting??

FROM: eita He's smiling at his phone. Kuroo, probably

FROM: kentarou Kuroo

TO: fake family Have any of you ever once considered not prying

FROM: eita You deserve it

FROM: yuuji how can we not when ur in love!!

Kenma gets a text from an unknown number. He'd be lying if he said the guy behind it wasn't kind of endearing.

my notes: again, i love wrong number texts. it focuses more on kenma’s friendship, but kenma’s pov with texting kuroo is more than him realizing feelings and stuff. really cute, ive read it multiple times.

Japan's most subscribed by NeverNothing

rating: T words: 3,631 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo Tetsurou @blacktetsurou changed his bio : volleyball player, co-owner of Bouncing Ball Corp. and so much more ;)

my notes: i! love! social media! fics!!! really cute and basically people wondering who the mysterious kuroo is to applepi.

MATSUHANA!!! the underrated gem

texting (with a capital S) by parenthetic

rating: M words: 2,119 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Hanamaki breaks his No Texting In Class rule, and it's all downhill from there.

my notes: honestly more funny than it suggests, but its matsuhana, they’re meme lords.

rated m for by orphan_account

rated: T words: 10,692 chapters: 1/1

author summary: He should have known that there was a Specific Reason™ why it was so absolutely vital that he and Matsukawa specifically meet for a reading of the script. He should have known that there had to be some evil catch beyond sitting in a tiny, cramped studio with his newly sworn enemy.

Hanamaki stares at the title of the script he’d so gracefully neglected the night before.

FORBIDDEN PARADISE

“Excuse me,” Hanamaki starts, raising a pen in the air while staring blankly at the packet in his free hand. “Just to clarify, you want me to record a boy's love CD with Matsukawa?”

my notes: a very good voice actor au. there is some misunderstanding on hanamaki’s part bc he didnt finish listening to matsukawa, and this is really cute and i love matsuhana.

In A Quiet Night, All Sounds Carry by levyovochka

rating: E words: 4,794 chapters: 1/1

authors summary: “Ah, ah, Too—!”

Hanamaki hates his university dorm.

“—ru, let me cum, please!”

Hold up. That’s a fucking understatement. Let him rephrase it: Hanamaki loathes his university dorm with passion. Detest the damned abomination, abhors it—

“—ru! Coming, coming—”

It has only been a month and Hanamaki already wants to die.

my notes: as u can guess minor iwaoi // rlly well written and bottom hanamaki rights and maybe my favourite matsuhana smutfic??? and hooh boy i simp for matsukawa

call me maybe by totooru

rating: T words: 33,689 chapters: 14/14

author summary: Hanamaki texts the wrong number when trying to extort tips out of Oikawa in order to defeat Iwaizumi in arm wrestling, and then continues to text the witty stranger who had answered.

my notes: minor iwaoi, daisuga, bokuaka // god i think this is my favourite matsuhana fic overall, maybe in general, but my god is it great. this is probably a common rec, but its understandable as to why it is. basically au where makki texts matsun (who goes to karasuno) instead of oikawa for tips to beat iwaizumi at an arm wrestling match. but they keep messaging. and holy shit i love their conversations. please read this, it is 256/10

there we go!! i might go a part two with more ships (kagehina, tsukkiyama and iwaoi) but this took up way to much time lol. i have an essay due in a couple hours. but hope u like these fics as much as i do!!

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askfem-sanders-sides · 4 years

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Den: At least Haze seems like he’s being responsible today. Haze: I’m making weed brownies. Den: I redact that statement. //That’s why the recipe Sel sent him wasn’t hers -- Sel: Deal. Fae!Ev: Very well. When you return home tonight, your brother will be in pristine health again. Sel: Thank you so much. He means everything to me. Fae!Ev: I know, I know. Let’s hope the price wasn’t too much for you after all… Only time will tell. Sel: So, when do we start? Fae!Ev: …Elaborate? Sel: You said you wanted my firstborn. Fae!Ev: Yes, and you agreed? Sel: Yeah, so, when do we start? Fae!Ev: Fae!Ev, blushing: Oh-! //I want a whole book- -- Ev: I can hold the whole world in my hands! Anyone in his fam: No you ca- Ev: *picks up anyone in his fam* -- Ev, aged 17: Um... Wh-What's the difference between cancer and me? Ev: Um... M-My dad didn't beat cancer... *Every version of Sel didn’t like that* -- Haze: I'm gonna do the thing Den: That's probably a bad idea Haze : *does the thing* Den: holy shit. -- Vi: Or it will trump ov- Rav and Haze, at the same time: hEY WE DO NOT SAY THE T WORD IN THIS HOUSE!! //I love Thomas Sanders- -- Sel: imagine getting paid for being cute Ev: you’d be rich Sel: i-i…uhm…*blushes* -- Any of the more chaotic ppl: Do you ever just... want a pet llama? -- Den: what is the one thing I told you not to do Haze: burn the house down Den: and what did you do Haze: made you dinner! Den: Haze: Den: Haze: ...and burnt the house down -- Kira, getting ghosted for the 2719th time: *through tinted shades* they didn’t leave me on read....I left them speechless -- Haze, as a child: turns out I just have cool guy syndrome -- Haze: bro I have a confession to make Den: what is it bro Haze: you know when I stole your weed Den: yeah bro Haze: you know why I did it Den: no Haze: because you stole something before I stole your weed Den: and what did I steal Haze taking a deep breath: my heart Den: bro... Haze: bro -- Ev: What am I supposed to do while you're gone Sel: ... What do you usually do when I'm gone Ev: Wait for you to come back -- Ev: *is about to leave for work* Sel: You're forgetting something Ev: *gives her a kiss* Sel: *turns red and opens her hand to reveal Ev's keys* I meant your keys, but thanks- //She will happpily take that kiss too tho- -- Sel or Sky: *kicks down door* I LOVE EVAN RATHMORE! Ev: *picks up door* I love you, too, but you're destroying my home- //It’s Evan would be really care? -- Ev: You look beautiful today. Sel: Thank y- Ev: April fools! Ev: You look beautiful everyday. <3 -- Haze: I'm cold. Den: Just like my heart. Haze: Now is not the time to debate which one of us is more dead inside. -- Haze: I'm cold. Rav: Just like my heart. Haze: Now is not the time to debate which one of us is more dead inside. -- Rav: I just slept for 2 hours straight and 3 hours gay. Someone: That isn't how sleep works- Remy and Rin: Yes it is. //They would absolutely do this -- Haze, sitting on the couch in pitch black: I must become The Darkness. Den, tired of his shit and waving a flashlight at him: You must become less annoying. //Haze and Denny are just- be gay do crimes but people

#submission

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cami-chats · 5 years

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Always Friends

Fandom: Marvel

Pairings: Tony Stark/James Rhodes

Warnings: Lil bit of recreational drug use in this first scene

"Hey bro," Rhodey said, shoving potato chips in his mouth like if he didn't finish the bag in five minutes he'd never get to eat them again, "I had a dream we fucked."

"That's pretty gay." Tony was staring at the ceiling, and intellectually he knew that he only found it fascinating because he was high, but wow what a good ceiling. White was a seriously underrated color.

"Yeah I wouldn't fuck you."

"You wouldn't?" Tony asked, rolling his head to the side to look at him.

"I mean, unless you wanted to," he said with an easy going shrug.

Tony chuckled, and that of course turned into full blown laughter.

He didn't really remember it after the high wore off. It was more like a realistic dream, where he couldn't remember if it had happened or not, and as such tried not to think about it.

...But it kept coming back to him. He'd always thought that Rhodey was damn attractive because hello, he had eyes, but they were best friends and joking about something while high was extremely different than actually wanting it. The bottom line was that Tony weighed the pros and cons, and the cons were considerably heavier. No need to risk it, he decided, and that belief stuck with him for oh, just the next thirty years or so.

The Avengers walked into the common room, saw Tony and Rhodey cuddling on the couch, and tried to make a sneaky escape. Unfortunately, Tony saw them and beamed, waving at them tiredly. "Hey guys, what's cooking?"

"Oh um," Steve looked at their full arms, trying to think of a reasonable explanation that would let them leave without making Tony suspicious. He completely blanked.

"We were thinking about catching a movie before we headed off to bed, but we didn't realize the room was already occupied," Natasha said smoothly. "We'll go to Coulson's for it, don't worry."

"No no, you can stay here," Tony said, yawning as he pushed himself up to make room.

Rhodey glared at no one in particular, but Tony was already fluffing the cushions and shoving his shoes out of the way. They all shuffled forward uncertainly, and Tony didn't even notice their trepidation because he was trying to get comfortable in his spot. Rhodey pulled Tony onto his lap, staring at Clint when he opened his mouth, practically daring him to say something.

Tony was half-asleep for the majority of the movie-- to the point that he didn't even know what they were watching-- and he barely noticed when everyone got up. It left him and Rhodey alone again, and he yawned, stretching out. He hadn't meant anything by it, but he paused when he heard Rhodey's bitten off moan. He was so unaware of everything around him that he hadn't even noticed that Rhodey was hard, much less that he was touching him there.

"Sorry," Tony said with a guilty smile.

"It's alright," was what Rhodey claimed, but there was a tightness to his expression that made Tony want to reassure him.

"No hey, I understand. Anything with a great ass right?" He tried winking to lighten the mood, but that only seemed to make Rhodey feel worse.

"Right," he agreed unconvincingly.

There was a swirl of guilt in his chest, tightening around his heart. "I'll uh- see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

Tony wobbled away tiredly, glancing back when he reached the doorway. Rhodey looked absolutely miserable sitting on the couch all alone, so he turned back around.

Rhodey looked up when he tripped one of Natasha's utility belts, frowning. "What are you doing? I thought you were tired?"

"I am." He sat on the couch and snuggled against Rhodey's arm. "But you looked sad. I can't let my honey bear look this sad."

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Call me pet names."

"Same reason you refuse to let me sit across the room, I guess." Tony yawned again, his mouth stretching wide.

"Because you love me?"

"What?" Tony asked, completely confused.

Rhodey sighed, rubbing at his eyes. "Go to bed Tones."

"No." Tony blinked hurriedly, trying to get himself awake enough to deal with the direction this conversation was going. "What are you talking about?"

"C'mon Tony. You know how I feel about you."

"We're best friends," Tony said innocently, but it was an old, familiar pain to Rhodey.

"You're right. We're best friends and nothing else, always have been always will be."

"What are you talking about?" Tony asked again.

"You know I like you," Rhodey said tiredly. "I'm glad you don't push me away, but sometimes being... as close as we are just hurts." He sighed, trying on a comforting smile. "Ignore me, I'm just tired and emotional."

"I don't think you are."

"Wh-"

"I think you thought I already knew, and I'm here to tell you that I had no fucking idea." Tony rubbed at his eyes. "Look panda bear, I'm tired, so just... don't panic and come to bed so we can talk about it in the morning."

"You're ridiculous," Rhodey breathed in disbelief, but he didn't resist when Tony tugged on his arm.

Because Tony sometimes forgot what his goal was supposed to be, he might have messed up a little the next morning. Instead of talking it out, he just rolled over and kissed him when he saw that he was awake.

And, because he was sometimes a bit of an idiot, he didn't realize how Rhodey took that until a few weeks later, and it wasn't even because he realized it, it was because Clint was asking about their relationship and Rhodey answered.

"So are you two dating or what?"

"Nah just messing around," was Rhodey's answer, and Tony blinked at him.

"We are?"

"Yeah?"

"I thought we were dating."

"You did? But..." Rhodey trailed off, unwilling to put words to what had happened.

Clint looked between the two of them, but instead of leaving like a nice, normal person would, he leaned back in his chair to watch.

Tony ignored him. "I could've sworn I told you I liked you."

"You- uh, did not. At all. Not even close Tones."

"Whoops," Tony said sheepishly.

"Oh my god Tony. You are the most ridiculous person I have ever met."

"What about Thor?"

"You are the most ridiculous human I know. Would it really have been that hard to say 'yeah James I like you too'?"

"Yes actually, because I never call you 'James'." Tony said his name with a disgusted look, like it wasn't his actual, legal first name. "And seriously, I thought I had told you already."

"You didn't."

Clint was grinning in the background, looking extremely amused by the scene in front of him.

"Well I meant to and I think that counts."

"It does not," Rhodey said, rolling his eyes, but he didn't look upset, so Tony was going to count it as a win. "Are we dating now?"

"Sure." Rhodey glared at him, and he quickly corrected, "I mean yes, of course. Dating. You and me." Tony did finger guns at him, which somehow made him laugh.

"You're such a dork."

"Yes and you've been friends with me for how long?"

#ironhusbands #marvel #fanfic #tony stark #rhodey #my writing

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jobros-pleaseinteract · 5 years

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Footprints

Birthday present for @bucky-babe who wanted some Ironhusbands so here we have a college AU (and a surprise AU very fun) also latinx Tony Stark. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Bucky!

Tagging @myspideysensesrtingling @starksnack @sbidermanstan @cptdcnvers @sleepyoldchild @spideysstark @bamboozledfucker @irndad @thors-bleached-eyebrows

warnings: some hints to Howard Stark’s A+ parenting

College. A terrifying time in any young person’s life, but even more terrifying if that young person looked like they were fifteen years old. Tony Stark, genius son of Howard Stark, at seventeen years of age is beginning his academic career at university, and the poor boy is fucking terrified. His father is too busy at some business meeting to help his only child move in, but his mamá is there with him, along with Jarvis to help him carry all his boxes in. Tony can feel his arms start to shake, and he can try to kid himself it’s from the weight of the box he holds in his arms, but deep down he knows it’s because he is about to shit his pants from fear. Sure, he’d gone to boarding school before, but this is different. Here, he is the youngest, a baby, and no one is gonna want to befriend a baby.

A gentle hand passes over his head, caressing his head of curls. “Mi vida,” his mamá whispers to him as they wait for Jarvis to shut the trunk. “Mi amor, calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Tony lets out a cough, trying to calm his racing heart. Yeah, nothing to be afraid of, except, you know, bullies and shit. He’s seen movies. He knows what college frat bros are capable of. He just wants to be challenged… and also maybe he wants to get away from his bastard of a father, but that’s besides the point.

“You are going to do great things here, mi amor. I can feel it.”

He can feel a smile tug at his lips. “Gracias, mamá.”

It flows off his tongue like a river, his mamá’s native language that Howard refuses to allow under his roof. Maria wraps an arm around her son and runs her fingers through his thick brunette curls. She’s going to miss him as she always does when Howard sends her boy away. She’s left with an empty house all to herself; her husband is almost never home, not that she minds, but she misses when she could still hear her Tony’s laughter fill the cold halls.

“You’ll call me,” she says more than asks. He always calls his mamá.

“Claro. Who else are you going to complain to about the women in your book club?”

“Ay, why your father insisted I join those ridiculous women is beyond me.” Maria rolls her eyes. “The books they choose are boring, and all they talk about are their yachts or houses in the Hamptons.”

“You don’t want to talk about that?”

A laugh escapes her. Howard may paint her as some sort of Spanish nobility for the press, but that wasn’t her. She was Mexican born, Los Angeles raised, and she wasn’t used to the life Howard led when they first married. She still wasn’t used to all the bragging and pettiness that came with being married to a Stark. The only good thing to come from her marriage is her son. And her friendship with the Jarvis couple.

“Vamos,” she calls when the three of them manage to grab everything, “we have a dorm to see.”

Tony, he isn’t so sure what to expect from a college dorm, but whatever it had been, it definitely does not match up with what he sees when he opens the door. Whoever his roommate is, well… he’s a total slob. Tony can feel the crease form between his eyebrows as he takes in the set of footprints on their carpet. What asshole tracks dirty footprints on a new carpet?

“Oh, hi!” a warm voice greets from inside. “You must be James’s roommate!”

He’s being swept up in a tight hug. It’s warm, maybe even warmer than the hugs his mamá gives. He’s released, and he sees who had embraced him. She’s beautiful, that’s for sure, and her face is so kind, all laugh lines and dimples. She’s big, bigger than tiny Tony, and he loves it. She’s like some sort of goddess, completely different from mamá, and yet exactly the same. The love they carry in their souls just radiates from them.

“James!” the goddess yells into the bathroom. “James Rhodes, you get out here and meet your roommate!”

“Okay, Ma, there’s no need to yell. I’m only five feet away, you know.”

And there he is. An angel right before his eyes. Tall, dark, handsome--no, gorgeous. Wow, I am so gay, goes through Tony’s mind before he realizes, this is my roommate. You don’t hook up with your roommate, even if he is the most beautiful being Tony has ever seen in his entire fucking life.

“Hi,” Tony squeaks, his voice cracking in a way that just makes him want to crawl in a hole and live out the rest of his days like some hermit, “I’m Tony.”

“James,” the angel--his roommate--says, and his warm ass hand fucking engulfs Tony’s tiny one, and Tony wants to melt into the carpet right there. “It’s nice to meet you, Tony.”

The goddess, who Tony’s infers is James’s mother, holds out her hand to Maria and gives her a warm smile. “Roberta Rhodes.”

“Maria, pleasure to meet you.”

“This your husband?”

“Oh, no,” Jarvis scrambles to put down his boxes and shake Mrs. Rhodes’s hand. “Edwin Jarvis, I’m a, uh, family friend. Here to help him move in.”

“Your husband working? That’s understandable, Terrence is back home looking after our daughter while I get to help James get settled in.” Mrs. Rhodes lowers her voice and stage-whispers, “He was nervous to meet his roommate.”

“Ma!”

“But I don’t think there’s any need to be nervous. You seem like a good boy, Tony.”

“I, uh… I am?” He looks to his mamá for some guidance.

“James has nothing to worry about with Tony other than late nights and some skipped meals. Recuerde comer, mi vida,” Maria tells her son. “Hopefully they can look after each other while they’re here.”

They start unpacking, and Tony can’t get over the fact that his super hot roommate is the kind of guy to 1) wear shoes inside and 2) wear dirty shoes inside. Their carpet is absolutely covered in footprints, and while Tony isn’t a neat freak, it does kinda piss him off. But he can’t just call him out in front of everyone, can he? He’s actually a bit surprised Jarvis hasn’t said anything about it. But whatever, right? It’s the first day, and they’ve got a lot of stuff to move in, so it makes sense James would keep his shoes on, and Tony can always clean it up later… hopefully.

Although Tony hates to admit it, he cries when mamá and Jarvis has to go. He’s a baby, practically, and he’s being left on his own to take care of himself. He can’t do that! He has problems with sleeping and eating and just, well, taking general care of himself!

“You are going to be just fine,” Maria tells him as she cradles his baby face in her hands. “You are so talented, Tony, and I am so proud of you. So proud.”

Tony sniffles and looks up at her with glossy brown eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Of course, mi amor, I will always be proud of you.” She presses a kiss to his forehead and closes her eyes. “Te quiero, Tony.”

“Te quiero, mamá.”

Jarvis ruffles his hair and promises to write before he and Maria get in the car and drive off. Leaving him alone on the curb, fighting tears. He’ll be fine. Stark men don’t cry.

Tony and James fall into an easy sort of friendship, and Tony starts to feel more comfortable at school. Rhodey, what James has lovingly been renamed, still tracks in those goddamn footprints, but Tony can’t bring himself to call him out on it. Whenever he feels frustration creep up inside of him, he remembers what always happens when he tries to make his father listen to him, and suddenly he’s unable to say anything to Rhodey about his messy habits. So he keeps his mouth shut and his head down whenever he wants to say something. He can handle this.

His friends think he’s a fucking idiot for not just bringing it up. Well, they think he’s an idiot for a lot of other reasons, but they especially get onto him for this. Somehow, around a week into the semester, he managed to collect three mom friends: Carol, Pepper, and Natasha. He and Carol share a class together, but that’s not how she adopted him. No, it was outside of class, on the quad, when she and the other two girls were studying and talking shit, when suddenly this small boy was tripping over his shoelaces and his books were flying everywhere. They saw tiny Tony and adopted him on the spot, and now they made sure he actually ate, got more than two hours of sleep a week, and communicated with his freakishly hot roommate.

“Tones, if the guy keeps tracking in dirt, fucking tell him,” Natasha sighs as they’re lounging on Tony’s bed one Friday night. “It’s obviously bothering you enough keep bitching to us about it.”

“But what if he gets mad at me?”

“He’s the one being slob,” Pepper points out.

“If he gives you a hard time about it,” Carol says, “we’ll kick his ass. Now hold still.”

Carol had bought some new nail polish and wanted to try it out on Tony, claiming the red and gold would go perfect with his dark skin. It’ll totally pop, Tones, just trust me, she had said when she’d pulled out the bottles. So now he’s lounging between Natasha’s legs, her fingers lightly scratching against his scalp while Carol paints his nails and Pepper flips through a magazine.

“Where is your Adonis anyways?” Pepper asks. “He got plans?”

“I think he said he had a Smash Bros tournament with uh… Sam? You guys know Sam Wilson?”

“Yeah, he’s friends with Steve Rogers and that other guy with the man bun,” Carol answers. “Wait, Nat, didn’t you hook up with man bun?”

“Like, once. Okay, so it was twice, but what can I say? He’s got nice arms.”

“Thirsty.”

“Shut up, Pepper, so are you.”

“Wh-- no I am not, I am completely, 100% focused on classes, thank you very much! You have absolutely nothing on--”

The door swing open, and Rhodey walks in looking a bit winded. He waves to the girls and Tony before disappearing into the bathroom.

“...If he left a Smash Bros tournament, he isn’t worth it, Tones,” Carol tells him. “A quitter never makes an attractive partner, let me just tell you that right now.

“Hey!” Rhodey comes back in and smiles. “Sorry for interrupting your party, but I remembered Sam let me borrow one of his hoodies last week, and if I don’t return it tonight, he’s never gonna let me live it down.”

“Oh, was it the one hanging in the shower?” Tony realizes.

“That’s the one! I got salsa on it and had to scrub it out.” He grins at Tony, and the younger boy swears his heart skipped like five beats. “Anyways, I’ll be back in a few hours. Want me to bring you back some pizza, Tones?”

“That would be amazing, platypus, thank you!”

“Anything for my tiny Tony.”

The girls wait until he’s gone before turning back to their friend with wide eyes. He just looks back at them innocently.

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’?” Pepper says. “You just called him platypus, and he just called you his tiny Tony!”

“Yeah, we have nicknames for each other, so what?”

“Tony, it was the way he said it,” Natasha sighs. “We already know you’re in love with him--”

“I am not!”

“But, Tony, he sounded pretty fond of you.”

“People can be fond platonically! You are fond of me! And for your information, I am not in love with him.” He stands up, ignoring the annoyed shout Carol gives him when the nail polish gets smudged, and puts his hands on his hips. “I am not in love with someone who is completely incapable of taking off his dirty ass shoes before walking on the carpet! I mean, just look at how messy it is!”

The girls look down at the floor and are quiet for a few moments. Tony waits as they continue to stare at the floor and them give him a worried look.

“What?” he asks.

“Tony… there are no footprints on the carpet,” Pepper tells him.

“What the hell are you talking about? Are you blind?” He gestures to the carpet where he can clearly see a trail of footprints leading to and from the bathroom. “They’re right here!”

“Oh my god, you cannot be this stupid,” Carol laughs. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Yes!”

“Tones, if we can’t see the footprints you can clearly see,” Natasha says, “then have you considered he’s your--”

“If you’re gonna say soulmate, I’m just going to stop you right there,” Tony interrupts her. “There is no way someone like me could ever have a soulmate, let alone one like Rhodey.”

“And why do you say that?”

“Because… well… because I’m me. Tony Stark, the absolute fuck up! I mean, my own father can’t even stand to be in the same room as me for more than five minutes without telling me what a terrible son I am! Why should I be soulmates with someone as wonderful as James Rhodes?”

“There’s a lot to unpack here, but--”

“ANTHONY EDWARD STARK, YOU GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS THIS INSTANT! HE IS YOUR SOULMATE OKAY?” Pepper suddenly yells, causing the others to stare at her with wide eyes. “You can see his footprints, we can. There is literally no other explanation for this!”

“Pepper,” Carol hisses. She can’t just yell at Tony and expect everything to--

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Oh, wow, did not actually expect that to work.”

“Well… you guys are like my moms, so. I listen to you.”

“He listens to you, well that’s just great,” Carol grumbles. “He doesn’t listen to me.”

“That’s because you’re just as reckless and stupid as him, Danvers,” Pepper says back. “Now, Tony, I want you to actually talk to James about this, okay? You know now that he isn’t just some asshole who likes to track dirt into the dorm; he’s your soulmate.”

“But I mean, do we really--”

“Don’t make me pull the full name card again, Tony, because you know I will.”

“...Fine. I will talk to him about this. Now, Carol, can you please fix my nails? I think I fucked them up.

Rhodey sneaks back into the dorm after midnight, trying hard to be quiet in case Tony went to bed. Of course, the little insomniac did not go to bed, and is instead sitting at his desk waiting for his roommate/soulmate. When he hears the door click shut, he turns on his desk lamp and swivels his chair, causing Rhodey to let out a shriek.

“Oh, fuck! It’s just you, Tones. You scared the shit out of me, man.” He can see Tony chewing the inside of his cheek as if trying to find the right words to say. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong, or at least I don’t think so, I just, uh. Fuck. Okay so basically… I think you’re really hot, and I have since we first met, and, like, that’s really weird because we’re roommates and I most definitely should not be thinking that, and then I noticed you kept tracking fucking dirt onto our carpet, but I didn’t want to say anything in case you got mad, because I don’t like it when people yell at me, probably because of like childhood trauma or some shit, I dunno, but then today Carol, Pepper, and Nat realized that you weren’t tracking dirt into the dorm, I just saw your footprints, which, you know, means we’re soulmates.”

“Wait… what?”

Oh, god, Rhodey didn’t know. “Oh, well, we’re--well I think we’re soulmates. Because I can see your footprints when no one else can.”

“Yeah, no I knew that.”

“You knew?”

“Uh, it’s pretty obvious when I can see your footprints, Tony, even when you’re not wearing shoes.”

“Well… why didn’t you say anything?” Tony could feel his chest start to get tight and his breathing pick up. “Oh, god, you don’t want me, do you? That’s why you didn’t say anything! Because, because you know I’d be a terrible soulmate, and you don’t want that, and you deserve someone way better, someone like Sam Wilson, because he’s so cool, oh god, who wouldn’t want to be soulmates with Sam Wilson, he’s like--”

Tony stops talking when Rhodey cradles his face in his warm ass hands, his entire brain going blank.

“Whoa, there, calm down, okay? I didn’t say anything because I thought you knew, Tony.” Rhodey lets out a laugh and shakes his head. “Hell, I thought we’ve been dating for like a month now!”

“...what.”

“Yeah, you started calling me Rhodey and platypus and honeybear, and we’ve been cuddling and holding hands, so I thought you knew! Oh, god, this is so embarrassing! I totally thought we’ve been dating!”

“Well, I… I mean, we could, uh, well, if you wanted to, I wouldn’t object to us, like, actually dating. As in we both know we’re dating.”

“Oh you wouldn’t, would you?” Rhodey asks with a smile. “Well, would you object if I were to kiss you right now?”

Oh my god, he wants to kiss me!

“I mean, if you really wanted to.”

“Oh, shut up, Tones.”

“Why don’t you make m--”

Rhodey leans down to kiss him before Tony can finish his snarky comment, and Tony does not mind one bit. Because Tony has never felt anything as fucking perfect as kissing Rhodey. His whole body grows warm as Rhodey wraps his arms around him, and Tony practically melts against him when he feels Rhodey’s fingers gently tug on his curls. He’s kissing his soulmate, and his soulmate is fucking James Rhodes, his platypus, his honeybear, his Rhodey.

#hope you like it!#i attempt to write #ironhusbands

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i-also-miss-our-talks · 7 years

Text

Sincerely, Me? ~ Tree Bros

Requested from Wattpad: Can you do Evan accidentally sending a love letter to Connor? (Have Jared make Evan write it?)

Alrighty! This one isn’t very long, but I kinda like how it turned out. Let me know your thoughts, pls!

WC: 1,288

Warning: Swearing, Drugs, Rubbing nipples, Jared Kleinman

Masterlist

Dear Connor Murphy,

We’ve been way too out of touch. Things have been crazy and it sucks that we don’t talk that much. But I should tell you that I think of you each night. I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight.

“JARED!”

The boy laughed. “What’s wrong, Evan? Do you not want to tell him the truth?”

Evan frowned and snatched the laptop away from his family friend. “This is not what I meant when I asked you to help me! I-I just want to make a letter to get all my feelings out, and then I’ll tear it up and flush it,” the nervous boy said and sat down on his bed. He deleted the last sentence and started writing.

I’ve got to tell you life without you has been hard.

“Really? It’s been hard?” Jared teased.

Evan rolled his eyes and changed the word.

I’ve got to tell you life without you has been bad.

“Bad?”

I’ve got to tell you life without you has been rough.

“Sounds kinky.”

And I miss talking about life and other stuff.

“That’s very specific, Evan,” Jared nodded.

“Shut up!” Evan exclaimed, blushing brightly.

I like your parents.

“Who on earth says that?”

I love your parents, but I know for you each day is another fight. Maybe, if you stop smoking drugs, then everything might be alright.

“Smoking drugs! That’s exactly what Connor does!”

“You know what, Jared? If you can’t take this seriously then maybe you should just leave,” Evan said, playing with the hem of his shirt.

Jared sighed. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just trying to help you.”

Evan nodded. “Yeah. I-I know. But still, a little encouragement would help.”

“Fine. Hand me the laptop,” Jared said. Evan obeyed.

Maybe, if you stop smoking crack, then everything might be alright.

“Crack?! Connor doesn’t smoke crack!” Evan said, waving his arms.

“Evan, no one smokes crack.”

Maybe, if you stop smoking pot, then everything might be alright. Just take my advice. Try to be more nice? You’re turning around. I can see. Because all that it takes is a little reinvention. It’s quite easy to change if you give it your attention. All you have to do is just believe you can be who you want to be.

Sincerely, Me.

“Evan, this isn’t sounding like a love letter. You should probably take it from here,” Jared said and handed him the laptop back.

The blue boy nodded and bit his lip.

Dear Connor Murphy,

I really miss our talks. Stop doing drugs. Just try to take deep breaths and maybe we could even go for walks.

“Yeah, no,” Jared said, leaning back on his chair.

I will send you pictures of the most amazing trees.

“Still no.”

You might be obsessed with my forest expertise.

Jared burst out laughing. “Evan, do you even know what you just said? Absolutely not! You can’t put that in there!”

Dude, I’m proud of you. Just keeping pushing through. You’re turning around, I can see. Because all that it takes is a little reinvention. It’s quite easy to change if you give it your attention. Really, all you gotta do is just believe you can be who you wanna be.

Sincerely, Me.

Jared grabbed the laptop.

P.S. Your sister’s hot.

“Jared! What the hell?!” Evan snatched the computer and hugged it tightly to his chest.

“Just trying to create a bit of jealously,” Jared shrugged. “Did you not want that? My bad.”

Evan rolled his eyes and typed a new letter.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Thanks for every note you send.

“Evan, Connor doesn’t send you notes,” his family friend said. “You only dream of that.”

“Oh. R-right.”

Dear Connor Murphy,

I’m really glad to be your friend. But I’m hoping our friendship could go beyond your average kind of bond. Because, I think I am gay. And I think you’re gay. Right now we’re close, but not that way. The only girl that I love is my mom. So anyway, you’re getting better everyday. Because all that it takes is a little reinvention. It’s quite easy to change if you give it your attention. Really, all you gotta do is just believe you can be who you wanna be.

Sincerely,

Miss you dearly,

Me.

“How’s that?” Evan asked.

“You couldn’t be anymore obvious,” Jared nodded. “Now just print it out at school tomorrow, tear it up and flush it, and move on from Hot Topic.”

Evan nodded. “Yeah. Sounds like a plan.”

—

Yes. It did sound like a plan.

But that was not how the plan went.

Evan arrived at school the next day and headed straight to the computer lab. He wanted to get this done and over with. Evan quickly pulled up his last letter and pressed print. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. I’ll be over him soon, Evan thought to himself as he turned off the computer. Soon.

“Hey, Evan.”

The blue boy let out a squeak of surprise and turned to find his long-haired crush smiling at him. Evan blushed and waved slightly. “H-hey, Connor.”

“Did you print this?” Connor asked, letting his smile fade away as he held out the letter.

“O-oh! Um, yeah, it, uh, it is. So, thanks,” Evan said and reached out to grab it. “But, I, uh, It’s kinda personal,” he said when he realized Connor had started reading it.

Connor read the letter all the way through. Once. Twice. And a third time. He frowned at his friend. “Is this a joke?”

“Um, n-no, it-it’s not,” Evan mumbled.

“It’s a joke. You’re not really my friend, are you?”

Evan’s head bolted up. “C-Connor! Of course I-I’m your friend!”

“Then why would you write this?”

“B-because I-“

“Because Jared put you up to this? Because Zoe put you up to this?” Connor sneered. “Of course my fucking sister put you up to this. Only she would do something like that. Well, fuck you, Evan Hansen!”

“Because I like you!” Evan finally yelled. Connor shut his mouth and widened his eyes. “I-I like you, Connor. I thought if I wrote a letter then maybe I could move past my feelings but then you found it and now I’m rambling I’m sorry.”

Connor looked back down at the paper. “You really mean all these things you said?”

Evan bit his lip and nodded, looking down at his shoes. “I get it if you don’t want to be my friend or hang out with me or even see me anymore because who would want to after reading something like that I’m so annoying I’m sorry.”

“Zoe’s right. You apologize a lot.”

“I’m sorry.”

Connor let out a small laugh before grabbing one of Evan’s hands. “Well, maybe…maybe you don’t have to get rid of those feelings. If you don’t want to, I mean.”

Evan looked up at Connor. “Wh-what?”

Hot Topic shrugged and looked away. “I guess I have some shitty feelings for you, too, or whatever.”

The blue boy smiled brightly. “C-Connor? D-do you maybe…i-if you want to…that is…get some ice cream after school?”

Connor quickly leaned down and pressed a small kiss to Evan’s cheek. “Sounds like a date,” he whispered before letting go of Evan’s hand, folding the letter and putting it in his coat pocket, and walking out of the computer lab.

Evan stood rooted in his spot for a full minute while he processed what happened. Once he did, he smiled brightly and pumped his fist in the air.

Maybe this plan worked out after all.

#dear evan hansen #deh #treebros #evan hansen #connor murphy #evan x connor #connor x evan #evan hansen x connor murphy #connor murphy x evan hansen #sincerely me #i-also-write #tree bros #convan

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specialmindz · 6 years

Photo

CICK, CICK!

Papyrus’s tiny hand tapped against the sides of his brother’s eye socket as he struggled to grab the small glowing light within. He had been at it since the beginning of their walk towards the multiple power restoration stations, seemingly unaware or unable to comprehend how futile his goal was.

CICK CICK CICK!

“lemme know when you’re done, bro,” sighed Sans, slightly annoyed. He wasn’t at all happy about their little trip, and the tapping was starting to get to him. It was bad enough that he had to replace the drained magic crystals, but the fact that Gaster had ordered him to bring Papyrus along made it worse.

The scientist had noticed that the baby bones crib was still covered in ectoplasm, but unfortunately it was too late to do anything about it. The orange slime had long since hardened and was now impossible to remove, meaning he would have to get a new crib altogether. After lecturing Sans about his “excessive laziness” Gaster decided to punish him by giving the comedian his least favorite job. Apparently he was under the impression that it was SANS’ job to clean up after Papyrus, and not his.

It’s not fair. It’s not MY job to get ectoplasm off of PAPYRUS’S crib! He’s not MY son!

“Nyeh heh heh! You gots some big ol’ glow eyes, Snas! Where’d you get those glow eyes? Baby would like some glow eyes...”

Sans ignored his brother and continued onward through the annoyingly long hallways. It would have been nice if the power stations were closer together, but the volcanic activity in Hotland made underground construction dangerous.

CICK CICK CICK!

“please stop.”

WHY would they dig into a volcano to begin with? I mean, who had that FUCKING idea?

“we’ve a second story with ZERO rooms...”

“Nyeh?” Papyrus looked down at him in confusion. “You got some glow eyes in a book?”

“wh-no. i was thinking about something else,” sighed Sans wearily.

The baby bones scratched his tiny skull as he tried to figure out his older brother’s riddle. What book could Sans have been murmuring about?

The only book Papyrus knew of that could hide things was Peek-a-Boo With Fluffy Bunny, but Sans had always stayed clear of THAT particular piece of literature...

“A book with no rooms...”

“hey pap, didja’ hear what i said? i said there IS no book. second story means second floor. i’m talking about the lab.”

“The glowies on the second floor?”

“no-”

“They on the second floor in a book?”

“NO.”

CICK CICK!

*sigh*

“I can’t reach da’ glowies, Snas. Help da’ baby.”

“no.”

“Why not?! You gots two and I don’t gots any! You greedy as hell, big Buther!”

Sans took one of the colored orbs filled with magic crystals and replaced the drained one, starting the second generator in the process.

Two down, two more to go...

“You’s SUPPOSED to teach about sharing, Snas. I’s impesshinable, ya’ know? I gots to learn to share or I’s gonna be a Scroog duck. Ya’ know dat duck wit the gold swim pool?

“i know who you’re talking about.”

“He gots a cane and a big ol’ hat, but no pants.”

“okay?”

“You know why he don’t have pants, Snas?”

“...”

“You know why?”

“...”

“You know why?”

“...”

“You know why, big Buther?”

Oh my god.

“WHY bro,” asked Sans, struggling to keep his temper. “WHY doesn’t he have pants?”

“...”

“hello-”

“I don’t know why, big Buther.”

Are you freaking kidding me with this?

“you’re driving me nuts, pap.”

“Well I’s sorry bout’ your nuts, but I thinks mah footure be more important.”

“keep bothering me and you’re not gonna HAVE a future,” warned Sans, putting in another orb.

Three down...

“You bedder be nice to me, stink buther! I’s the one watching over you down here...also dis where I’s gonna put some of the sparklies when I gets em’. Is dark as hell!”

“’sparklies?’ oh right, the stars.”

“Yep! Some gonna go in yo’ room and some gonna be down here. Imma make dis room as bright as your smile! Nyeh heh heh!”

“uh...”

“Dis the part where you say, ‘Awww! Such a nice widdle baby...”

“sorry bro, the only word flashing through my mind right now is gay-”

“YOU GAY!”

Sans chuckled as the baby bones frowned down at him from his shoulders. To anyone else, he would have looked like a jerk teasing an infant, but he was more than used to Papyrus’s manipulation tactics.

It kinda scares me actually...makes me wonder what he’ll be like when he grows up. He’s obviously going to get smarter...

Maybe this is just a baby bones thing...?

I think the FontSearch said something about them using manipulation as a means of self-defense...about them purposely trying to be as cute as possible so people will protect rather than attack them.

CICK CICK CICK!

The kid comedian looked around in confusion for a few seconds before letting out another annoyed sigh, his brother having pulled him from his thoughts.

Wrong turn...

CICK, CICK!

“why don’t you go watch a movie Papyrus? we found lots of barney videos at the dump yesterday-”

“Because the power’s out stink head. Also they thow those away for a reason, Snas. They suck.”

“you suck.”

“YOU SUCK!”

“You both suck.” The boys both jumped in surprise at the sound of Gaster’s voice behind them. “I asked you to restore the power fifteen minutes ago, Sans. WHY is the lab still dim?”

“because you’re still standing in it, genius.”

“NYEH HEH HA HA HA!”

“Excuse me?!”

“i said i’m working on it-”

“I’m fairly sure that isn’t what you said and I’m getting more than a little tired of your sass, Sans.”

“Go way, douche da-”

“And YOU shut your thumb-sucking mouth!” snapped the scientist. “It’s YOUR fault the power ran out so quickly! Have you the slightest inkling how few crystals we have left?”

“We gots...dis many,” replied the baby, smiling straight ahead.

“...You didn’t raise any fingers.”

“Dat’s how many we got.”

“*Sigh*”

I can’t deal with this...

“How come you don’t buy more rock stuff, Daddy? How’s da’ baby supposed to get an ed-jew-ma-cation if the tv don’t work?”

I can’t DEAL with this right now!!

“You’s awful irra-sponsible-”

“SHUT UP.”

Gaster put his hands over his head as if he were trying to block out Papyrus’s voice. He hoped it would signal his oblivious children that he wasn’t in the best mood, but instead it only made his eldest concerned.

“dad...?” Sans took a step back, wondering if he should put the crystals on the floor and teleport out of the room. His father looked crazy and he was ninety-percent sure that wasn’t too far off from the truth.

To be honest, the royal scientist WAS at his wits end. With the mines closing, it was HIS job to find an alternate source of power for the entire Underground, but how was he to do that when he had a vengeful baby bones destroying his progress and/or making it impossible to progress..?

The more things he had to do over again, the more work piled up for the next day. It had gotten to the point where he had more mail from demanding citizens than actual paperwork!

WHY?

WHY would he have the microwave, washing machine, AND stasis chamber on ALL AT THE SAME TIME?!

Multitasking was Gaster’s thing, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed it. He enjoyed science; he enjoyed learning, inventing new things, achieving what others had already deemed impossible.

Not this.

Not having problems thrown at him like knives toward a dartboard.

Not having a kingdom of ungrateful parasites sucking the knowledge out of him without a second thought.

“GRAH!”

“hey, dad chill...”

I hate them. I hate them all. They expect me to find a way to destroy the barrier THEY put up, they expect me to fix the gas leak that THEY created, they expect me to find an alternate power source that THEY should have already found as a backup!

“THEY EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING!” yelled the scientist, startling his sons once more.

It’s not worth it. THEY’RE not worth it...

“i’m sorry, dad,” said Sans, looking down at the floor. “i was thinking about something and took a wrong turn...”

“THEY DESTROY MY PEOPLE AND EXPECT ME TO GIVE ONE HUNDRED AND SIX PERCENT EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!”

“huh?”

Is he not talking about us?

“BACKSTABBING COWARDS!!”

Does he even know we’re still here...?

“THEY DESERVE IMPRISONMENT!!”

“Nyeh..nyehhh...”

“hey dad? you’re scaring pap.”

Sans reached out to pull his father’s sleeve, but Papyrus quickly leaned over and grabbed his own. “Don’t tug Daddy Snas, I sense the danger...”

“nahh, it’s okay baby bro. i’m pretty sure he’s just in his own little world right now. i do this too sometimes.”

“Daz not good, Snas.”

“I’LL BURN THEIR HOUSES DOWN WITH LEMONS!!”

“...”

“mayyybe we should just keep going.”

“Kay’.”

Before the two continued on, Papyrus leaned over once more and dropped a Snickers into the front pocket of Gaster’s lab coat.

“...Di-Did you just put a candy bar soaked in garbage juice into my pocket?”

“You’s not you when you’s hungry.”

#Fonttale #fonttale au #undertale #undertale au #kid sans #sans #papyrus #baby papyrus #gaster #baby bones

16 notes · View notes

pinksweatergettingbetter · 6 years

Text

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Alright, on to part three, where Phoenix’s big fat mouth gets Apollo and Athena into deep doodoo.

QUICK CHILDREN, INTO THE MANHOLE!

SDUFGDGSF YOU CAN ‘MOVE’ WHILE YOURE BEING CHASED

way to ruin the moooooood XD

well athena if its any consolation, smelling like a rotten egg will probably delight sadmad.

y’know. cause youre a putrid egg yolk.

“Once a rebel, always a rebel!”

apollo was never a rebel

you sent him back to America before he could do any rebelling.

>OH MY SNARK IS CONFIRMED BY APOLLO

oh everyone’s met up now

“It was like watching a pair of ostriches bury their heads in the sand”

the FUCK does that mean, Phoenix?!???

“dubious hovel”

whats wrong with athena? i thought she was huddling up in the corner because she saw something unnerving, then maybe because of all the sudden people there–– but it’s implying she’s disgusted by the shitty state of the place?

what, is Athena a germaphobe now??

“He said he hopes you’ll come back and take over this office someday.”

“M-me?”

“Those were his words! He might have been half-joking though.”

I’m not sure which I’m more offended by; the fact that Dhurke still assumed Apollo would make a shit lawyer, or the fact that Apollo does indeed take over. Spoilers. Haha.

“must’ve been because of you, dhurke!”

no it was because of Phoenix Wright because he was a cool guy, once upon a time. also because, unlike every other lawyer in the gotdamn series, Apollo just really friggin loves the law. He thinks lawyers are legit cool and he wanted to be one because he just happened to have a passion for litigating. He’s not a prop in your stupid story, he’s his own interesting person.

“Dhurke was never a hands-on kinda dad...”

you can motherfucking say that again, vore machine.

“...but not a day went by that he wasn’t thinking of ya. That much I’m sure of.”

yeah he sure was

thinking of the favours he could one day ask of him.

“Doesn’t get more paternal than that!”

Athena, you don't even have a dad. Your opinion on the subject is completely worthless.

“(Dhurke... And to think, I really did spend my days trying to forget you...)”

god apollo you don’t deserve this. you deserve trucy and klavier and thalassa (being an actual mom for once) HELL you deserve your ACTUAL, REAL DAD.

“The victim’s passport and any pictures of him were burned up in the fire. Without knowing his real name, no divination seance could be performed.”

So you’re telling me Jove brought every single glossy of himself into that blaze? And after the fire, nobody bothered checking the dental records on the corpse/asking where that neato musician from the other night went?

Once again, DDSOJ police, at their best. If there wasn’t a coverup involved, I’m gonna be pissed.

( My real dad... I was never really interested in learning about him. )

While this is a totally understandable and natural reaction... I really wish–– Actually, no; it’s best Apollo never learned that he once had a father who actually gave a fuck about him. That’d probably break his heart.

“As the son of the terrorist Dhurke, Nahyuta was expelled from the royal family.”

i.... why did Dhurke keep him in Koooraheen, anyway? He really couldn’t have sent him to a happier life in America with his half brother?

huh i think that face-palm is a new expression for Vore Machine. he almost looks reasonable.

“As his son, Yuty no doubt got the cold shoulder at every turn.”

amazing. not only was Apollo abandoned in America in some shit orphanage with zero contact from anything he knew as family, but Sadmad was forced to stay behind in a country that hated his guts. The perfect situation for both boys!!! No wonder they’re both so fucking grouchy all the time! Dhurke, you parental genius!

“Dhurke’s the kinda guy who can become fast friends with just about anyone!”

guess that explains the fandom popularity

“Lol come over n play some jams bro”

“Ok dawg is it chill if i bring my kid my wifes uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

“Yeah its cool I'm great with kids”

“tight”

“It’s like Dhurke’s done nothing but save me all my life” yeah... from messes he made.

“Jangly Justice”

god. i want to root for Jove but like. He looks like a tool, he sounds like a tool, his stage name is the tooliest thing ive ever heard...

originally this section was me ranting about how Thalassa would never have just ‘stopped looking for Apollo’ when she heard that Jove perished in the flames, since Apollo’s corpse was never found and the rebels were out looking for her to give him to her– but instead I’m just gonna leave you with ‘that excuse is mad weak and the writers need to try harder.’

“You should try on the jacket, Apollo!”

“Yeah, yeah!”

Look, I can excuse Athena, because she doesn’t know. But Datz knows its mold infested and disgusting. And he just finished talking about APollo’s tragic past. What the everloving fuck is up with this sicko?!

Also Athena, you can’t laugh at him wearing an eyepatch when he just got done wearing one all last year.

“I’d recognize those horns anywhere!”

“Is that really the only way anyone recognizes me?”

cue Phoenix harrumphing from the corner and brushing his spikes

yknow maybe ive mentioned this before but why /hasn’t/ the queen found the safe house? It’s Dhurke’s old law office; that’d be like, the first place I’d check. Its like wondering if Dumbledore’s Army is based in Hogwarts.

I mean I guess you could say the Queen assumes theyre not stupid enough to hide in their old main haunt but... they’re stupid. they’re really, really stupid. it’s been proven like 800 times.

so we just had a ladder convo about lizards?

also what do you mean geckos like to live in houses? i thought they just climbed around outside them. aLSO WHY ARE THEY EATING THEM

... I appreciate that it ended in a Bugs Bunny Switcharoo though.

...And Phoenix ends it with “theyre just a plain old lizard”

I guess Phoenix doesn’t know flowers or lizards.

i really don’t know why none of the revolutionaries think sadmad’s playing the long con. they’ve all just completely given up on him. what if he was pulling a snape??? they talk about trust and shit and yet none of them trust their own leader’s son? shameful.

“It seems like Gar’an has some serious leverage over him”

okay, they suspect he’s being controlled with some kind of blackmail... and yet do nothing to help him? they’re dumb enough to risk their lives doing something like that, but not compassionate or caring enough?? to their leader’s son???? what the fuck??????

aww i missed Beh’leeb. I hope she and her (born/ unborn? cannot tell if she’s pregnant or not) kid are doing ok.

“So she’s trying to help the revolution along... in her own special way!”

that sounds enormously patronizing phoenix, shut up. she’s pregnant and she has to deal with fucks like Datz running around blowing off firecrackers at government officials.

...youre giving the orb to datz.

ill eat my hat if nothing happens to it.

“We’ll attract undue attention if we go in too large a group”

oh also because youre dressed like baby’s first paint set but

“AAAH!!”

“Do you know something about this?” “Nope! Just felt like shouting is all.”

yes, this is definitely the guy who should hold onto the orb for you. also i presented the attorneys badge. guess he has nothing to say about apollo’s proof of profession, eh?

“Yeah... You’d think Nahyuta might’ve cut his old man some slack, but no.” Dhurke you thick son of a bitch

wow. one single flashback occurrence where Dhurke wasn’t a dick. Well, 1/1000 ain’t too shabby...

“What? You came to visit me and you didn’t even bring me a present?”

What, like your plate of ‘my son is NOT a failure” sushi, Dhurke ?

“But I’m not a rebel.”

“Don’t be ridiculous– You’re a member of the defiant dragons simply by being my son.”

HE’S NOT YOUR SON YOU FUCK

If you present him your attorneys badge he jokes about dying happy and apollo makes it explicit that he means via execution

dhurke. that means apollo would die too. stop fucking joking about him dying you prickwad.

Apollo: Hey Dhurke know anything about this necklace

Dhurke: OOOAAHHH!!! OHHH!! AHHH!!!!

Apollo: So thats a...

Dhurke: Hahahahah its a no son give it here

Apollo: Yeah ok i see nothing suspicious about that at all and i sure hope the secret behind it wasn’t important to this case or anything..........

me: jeez i hope that stupid necklace was the last thing we had to present

phoenix, appearance from god knows where: hey maybe ask about the hostage

me: bless you baby. also i forgot you were here

Phoenix: Sounds like the minister has someone you really care about, cause you totally obeyed everything he did.

i know what youre trying to excuse here SOJ staff but no, straight up lifting right out of JFA will never be ok.

“Is there a new lady in your life?” “WHAT?! DONT BE RIDICULOUS SON!”

I’m gay now! Hahaha. But seriously. Nobody wants to date Dhurke.

“Amara was the love of my life, but she’s gone now, and there will never be another.”

cue Dhurtz shippers furiously jamming their fingers in their ears and whistling

what the

fuck is happening

to his aRM

“You tensed up” HIS BROKEN ARM STARTED VEINING SO HARD THAT IT SHOWED RIGHT THROUGH LIKE 2 LAYERS OF CLOTH

THATS SOME KRISTOPH DEVIL HAND SHIT RIGHT THERE

JESUS CHRI

oh there’s something hidden in there THANK GOD THAT SCAREDTHE FUCK OUTTA ME

“Oh I see– so youre hiding a woman’s photo up your sleeve”

oh yeah, a 3D photo. that has bumpy bits. absolutely apollo.

“You don’t need to keep secrets like that from me– You’re an eligible bachelor now. But you’ll... introduce her to me at some point, right?”

this has that creepy ‘parent insists you have a crush on that one kid’ conversation vibe to it, especially since it’s not like Apollo ever had an attachment to Amara to make him see her as a mother; she was ‘dead’ before he could even walk.

“Mon dieu! Are you into younger women, Dhurke?!”

Athena,,,,,,,, athena,,,, Apollo,,,,, he’s

it’s

oh never mind.

“Heh heh. Dhurke, you old dog, you. You got yourself a younger lover.”

ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT, NO, NOT NEVER MIND. YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF AMARA. YOU KNOW WHAT AMARA LOOKS LIKE. YOU KNOW HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PAST AND PRESENT DHURKE BECAUSE THERES NO WAY HE COULD JUST RANDOMLY CUT HIS HAIR AND THEN HAVE IT GROW BACK THAT FAST.

I KNOW YOU THINK SHE’S DEAD BUT AT LEAST FUCKING SAY YOU THINK IT’S HER TWIN SISTER YOU UTTER UTTER NUMBSKULLS

“This is Amara before she died. If you look closer, you’ll see that I was younger, too.”

“Hey. You’re right.”

“Aww, that’s no fun.”

MY ULCERS ARE NO FUN BUT GUESS WHAT NEITHER IS LIFE

“Wait a second... Haven’t we seen this woman before?”

DAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH

GOOD FUCKING BALLS PLEASE PLEASE LET THEM BE TROLLING DEAR GOD AAHGGDFKAFAGF

i really love that photo though. everything about it is generally just really nice.

wait hang on. they. they just. they kept her around? after her fake assassination? they just–– WHERE YOU COULD GET A PHOTO OF HER?!

EXPLAIN–– THERE’D BETTER BE A GOOD EXPLAIN

“She was confined within the grounds, but she was fit as a fiddle.”

Ga’ran. Ga’ran. Ga’ran. You stupid, stupid, stupid bitch.

“She was being held under virtual house arrest, so I freed her, and we made a run for it.”

“Of course, we didn’t just proclaim it to the people so that they’d realize Ga’ran was a dirty bitch; that would have been way too easy hahaha.”

Ohhh I see. They didn’t know Ga’ran was the one who did it. Except Ga’ran was the one who kept her under house arrest and faked her death so... It’s pretty obviously her? Amara would know that by putting 2 and 2 together? But no... Apparently Amara was suspicious enough to suspect Dhurke of being the arsonist like Ga’ran said, but brave enough to ‘accompany him so she could ascertain the truth for herself.’

hey remember when i said brave. i meant stupid. she was stupid enough to go with someone she thought might have tried to kill her, completely unsupervised. though i guess you'd have to be that dumb to actually fall in love with Dhurke in the first place.

AH, and she was immediately recaptured. Because Dhurke sucks.

Waaaaait wait wait. How long and when did he ‘rescue’ her? The incident was 23 years ago, but Rayfa is 14– and Amara would need the usual 9 months to gestate– plus, the room she’s holding Rayfa in has the Defiant Dragons handbook in there, so it’s probably someplace of Dhurke’s––

Meaning there was a nine year gap but they still didn’t show her to the general public to depose gar– AGHHH. ITS ALL TERRIBLE!!!

“Apollo. We need to grill the queen about Amara when we have the chance.”

Hobo Nick’s ghost: Hey uhh me, that might get you uhhhhh murdered i thought we got over that after von karma tasered the shit out of u––

SOJ Nick: DOOOOHHOOOHOO I LIKE SOLVING MYSTERIESSS

Apollo: hey maybe the baby Amara’s holding is me.

Athena: Nah it’s too cute to be you.

Apollo: ....i just want to have proof that I’ve known the loving touch of a mother at least ONCE ATHENA OKAY???

“Hm? Oh... well, either way, it’s not you, son.”

yeah fuck you apollo the Sadmahdis only love their REAL children

also its Rayfa. it was in the safe next to Rafya’s letter; Rayfa basically identified it as herself when she saw it, it’s Rayfa.

Apollo: wow youre sure acting vague and suspicious about this; guess i’ll just accept it for what it is.

Dhurke: [tells apollo’s he's going to die and leave him fatherless again]

Apollo: [immediately assumes its another of Dhurke’s jokes because Dhurke’s jokes are horrible and always at Apollo’s expense]

phoenix: ...are you sick?

NICK

OH MY GOD

i shriek laughed

Apollo: [clearly emotionally distraught]

Dhurke: [continues to dance around the issue, thus prolonging Apollo’s suffering]

(Why is this happening now? Just when I was finally starting to feel like you really are my...)

HE DOESN’T DESERVE YOU, APOLLO

GET OUTTA THERE

So far Apollo hasn't said “i’m gonna do x and x and x, or die trying!” and honestly i know it’s a bit on the nose but it’s more true for this situation than any other ones it’s usually said in.

Dhurke: I’ve got a big secret

Apollo: You’ve been hiding something *ELSE* from me?

Dhurke: I’m afraid I can’t tell you what it is. I’d be betraying a certain someone if I did.

WHY DID HE EVEN BRING IT UP THEN!? WHY IS DHURKE JUST THE FUCKING WORST?!!!

“You’ll discover a truth that is hard to accept. But I know you. And I know you can handle the truth, no matter what it turns out to be.”

After all, you’re super great at accepting all the misfortune my existence has heaped upon you! Hahaha!!!

“Apollo... Are you okay?”

“...I’m fine.”

they ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you’re fine, when you’re not really fine, but you just can’t get into it b

h e r e c o m e t h e r e b e l s

and once again you have to manually move there.

action bomb over here from Vore Machine

also beh’leeb sweety youre doing amazing

“Dhurke belongs to the people!! Give him back!!!”

he what now

(sigh)

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................hi.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................sadmad...............................................................................................................................................................................

“They’ll be arrested? Just for protesting?!”

Apollo... you live in the real world, r–– oh well technically he doesn't hm

that point’s moot

“They are aiding and abetting a criminal by seeking his release”

uh pretty sure that’s BS yut

“Her Eminence, Queen Ga’ran, has ordered they be arrested and judged en-masse”

ok im fucking

I'm wheezing so bad not ONLY do we have to save a revolution and Dhurke the rebel leader, but we are now about to defend most of the population of an entire country at once. Stakes RAISED bro

good fucking lord apollo stop being all “weren’t you a defiant dragon once?!wehh!!”

even Phoenix, with his Edgeworth obsession, didn’t really question it when Edgeworth was being his shithead prosecutor self.

Nahyuta: Sigh. Guess I can’t escape you. I mean I could use my magic beads to tie you up and then prance off but i have a plot to advance.

“Enough with the zen monk act, Nahyuta– Tell me how you really feel!”

Damnit, Sadmad, it’s not like we have someone who can read emotions by listening to-– oh yeah.

“She’s being held in secret where nobody is allowed to see her.”

second time’s the charm!

Apollo, simply bringing up the reason he’s doing what he’s doing won’t get him to stop. Remember the Phoenix and Maya situation? Until you can guarantee her safety, Sadmad’s just going to keep steam rolling along.

OH FINALLY

ok athena dish the dirt

alright, here we go, folks. time for Nick to get all their asses killed. i mean just listen to that ominous music :/

i love her laugh sprite.

“a lawyer AND a comedian, HOW DROLL”

the royal guards weird me out a bit though. its those masks. I'm getting high lady gaga gives

lady gagaran

Apollo: better give her evidence to burn–– i mean, jog her memory with some evidence.

Ghost of hobo nick: future me!! stop this!! don’t you remember what always used to happen?!

SOJ Phoenix: DOOOHOOOHOOO WE GOT HER NOW, APOLLO!

...........that worked

....no it didn’t. just spring you damn trap already, gagaran.

Apollo: Hm better not tell the people, that could stir up the revolution and actually make it happen. Especially since there might be REAL terrorists hiding out there, just waiting until someone goes, “Hey, that dead queen isn’t really dead!!”

lol

something went wrong?? no way

“Eeeek! Apollo! Don’t strip here!!!”

why is athena such a ditz in this case???

I HEARD A BELT

wow. apollo’s ass canonically bared in AA6

klavier gavin cries a million miles away

“HE WASN’T HIDING THE BULKY ASS ORB IN HIS CLOTHING, YOUR EMINENCE”

“damn i really thought he was hiding it in his skintight pants and vest. also ignore the other two, they couldn’t possibly have it.”

oh lord pls don’t hurt rayfa

“Your mind has been poisoned by the barbed one.”

“It was an honour and pleasure, your eminence”

phoenix i know that was highly badass and all but youre literally sitting pretty to be executed

“”””discipline””””

“Well, Apollo, let’s head back to the safe house for now.”

yes, just in case any spies follow us! so that the queen can get her hands on the orb that much fast!!

oh hi edgeworht, youre in this game

WOO YOU TELL’EM EDGEY

DOWN WITH PLUMED PUNISHER!! DOWN WITH PLUMED PUNISHER!! DOWN WITH PLUMED PUNISHER!!

“Moving along to things that actually matter...”

it’s true, but he shouldn’t say it

“Yeah, it’s like the more we learn about this case, the less we understand.”

just like me and this game’s writing process

“A trial without evidence...”

there’s evidence, you wankers, what do you think that photo of amara, the old case files and the necklace are????

“Athena, you’re too young and extra to die. Sit this trial out so we can save on sprite space.”

“Gotcha, chief.”

“Plus, there’s prosecutor Blackquill to think of. he said he’d use me for sword practice if he put you in harms way.”

Yeah, if Athena dies, who’ll his new punching bag be??? don’t think i haven’t forgotten story teller. i will not forget. i will not forgive.

“Remember; the worst of times are when lawyers have to force their biggest smiles.”

ugh, finally it’s used semi right.

And so, we come to the end of another frustrating chapter. It’s finally time to move on to the final trial. I’m actually kind of curious to find out how everything went down– though something tells me my suffering won’t end when i do.

Welp, friends – till next time. The final hurdle is at hand. Or at least, part one of it.

#sulking over SOJ #ooc #we're almost done... just the final trial still to go...]#spirit of justice spoilers #soj spoilers

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ticklish-sprout · 7 years

Text

The Visit - JohnDave

A/N: Hey everyone, it’s me! And I have some good/bad news! I am in one of the most infamous fandoms ever, Homestuck! I haven’t been reading it for too long, so I’m sorry if the characters are a little OOC. But anyways, I really hope you like it!

Here’s the picture this fic was based off of!

Words: 1,486

"D-Dave!" John threw the door open, a toothy grin spreading across his face. "I...it's you!"

"Sup." Dave Strider stood in front of him, in the flesh. "I assume you're John Egderp."

"It's Egbert." Normally the sixteen-year-old would be irritated, but he was too happy at the fact that his online friend was really there in person to care.

"Same thing." He walked in without asking for permission. "Got any apple juice?"

"Well, of course!" John came back inside, only to be beaten to the fridge.

"Ah." Dave scooped up the small bottle and chugged it so fast it made John's head spin. "Hmm." He crushed the empty bottle against his head, then held it out. "Thanks, Egderp."

"No...problem?" He took it from him slowly, tossing it over his shoulder. "Um, my dad is out, so that just leaves us. Probably getting more Betty Crocker, or maybe clowns," he scoffed. "Sorry, harlequins."

"I feel your pain." Dave looked around the harlequin-covered room. "Like I've said, Bro has way too many Smuppets."

"For irony?" John tilted his head.

"For irony," he nodded.

"You wanna go to my room?" He pointed upstairs.

"Sure." Dave went first, then opened the ajar door.

Then a bucket of water splashed over his head.

"AH!" He let out a totally un-cool shriek and fell flat on his stomach.

"Pfft-hahahaha!" John kneeled down, covering his mouth. "The look on your face!"

"Oh, real funny." Dave took off his shades to dry them on his shirt, keeping his eyes shut. Once he put them back on, he glared in his direction. "Bad move, Egbert."

"At least you have my name right." He squeaked as he was tackled onto his bed. "Dude, come on! It was just a prank!"

"And now I'm all wet thanks to it." He sat up, shaking his head. "You and your stupid pranks."

"They're not stupid," John pouted.

"Yeah, and I'm Nicolas Cage." Dave pulled him up. "Go into a rant about Con Air and I'll kill you."

"Jerk," he huffed.

"What did you say to me?" He grabbed him by the chin, looking him in the eye. "Nobody calls a Strider a jerk. Well, nobody calls a Strider a jerk and lives." He let go, jabbing him in the ribs. "And-"

"Eep!" John immediately clamped a hand over his mouth, turning a dark red color.

"Hmm?" Dave tilted his head. "What was that?"

"What was what?" He fiddled with his hands nervously. "I-I don't know what you mean."

"Really?" He gently brushed his fingers over his ribs, watching him carefully. "You hurt?"

"No!" John pushed his hand away, a smile on his face. "S-sorry, I'm a bit ticklish."

"A bit?" Dave smirked, eyes gleaming behind his shades.

"Ah...yeah, a bit." He didn't like the look he was (probably) giving him.

"You sure, Egbert?" He moved in until their noses were almost touching. "D-Dave?" John squeaked. "Wha-what are you doing?"

"Testing something." Dave suddenly tickled his highest ribs, a concentrated look on his face.

"Dahahave!" he giggled, grabbing his hand. "Cut it ohohout!"

"Stop moving, you're throwing me off." His second hand moved under his chin.

"Oh! Ahahaha!" John shivered, nose scrunching up. "St-stohohohop, it tihihihihickles!"

Oh my god, so cute.

"Does it?" Dave smirked again. "Breathe, dude, breathe. You're turning blue." He nodded to his blue shirt.

"Noooo!" he whined, then fell onto his back. "Haha...ha..." He looked up at him, smiling. "What was that for?"

"Pranking me. And I'm not done." He slipped his hands under his shirt, tickling his bare stomach.

"DAHAHAHAHAVE!" John shouted, dropping his hands in defeat. "OKAY, OKAHAHAHAY! I GIVE!"

"So what if you give, it doesn't mean I'm just gonna stop." Dave growled as his shades were knocked off his face. "Oh, you've done it now."

"Dahahave?" He barely caught a glimpse of his eyes before the shades came back on, and the tickling resumed. "AH, SHIT! DAHAHAHAHAHAVE!"

"Let me show you something Bro used to do to me when I was a lot younger." A faint blush dusted across his cheeks from the memory. "Something tells me you'll like it."

"Wait, what?! Dave, no!" John shrieked as his shirt was lifted up. "Don't you dare! No! No rasp-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He pounded on the bed with his fists, laughing his head off. "FUHUHUHUCK, STOHOHOHOHOP!"

"Had enough?" Dave looked up from blowing raspberries.

"YES, PLEHEHEHEHEASE! I CAN'T BREATHE, DAHAHAHAVE!" He went limp, deciding there was nothing left he could do except take it.

"Just a little longer." He ALMOST smiled at the squeal that came from him as he poked his belly button. "You sound like you're dying."

"HEEHEEHEE, I AM!" John finally grabbed his hands, panting heavily. Tears were running down his cheeks, and his face was completely flushed. "I'm...I'm sorry about the bucket," he wheezed.

"I wasn't actually mad." Dave yelped as their positions were reversed.

"Give...give me a moment." After he caught his breath, he grinned down at him evilly. "Don't think I won't get you back."

"I'm not ticklish," he deadpanned.

"Liar."

"Am not. Ah, Johohon!!" Dave let out an un-manly scream as his hands slipped under his arms.

"Dude, I barely touched you." Then John attacked.

"Pfft- NONONONOHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He bucked his hips, pushing at his shoulders. "STOHOHOHOP, DAMMIT! I'LL KILL YOHOHOHOHOU!"

"Stop? Hmm...I remember me saying that, but you didn't. So I'm not going to." He gave him a short break, then leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Dave."

"Eee!" He scrunched his shoulders, cursing the fact that he even had ticklish ears.

"Tickle," John whispered softly, watching him squirm. "Tickle tickle."

"Johnnnn," Dave whined, trying to move his head.

"What's wrong? Are you ticklish? Are your little ears ticklish?" He took his ear between his teeth, nibbling gently. "How about now?"

"OH MY GAHAHAHAHAHAD!" He screamed in laughter, shaking his head. "THAHAHAHAHAT'S GAY, YOU KNOHOHOHOHOW!"

"I am NOT a homosexual," John pouted. "Oh, don't want to break these." He removed his shades as he dug his thumbs into his hips harshly. He was so cute and oh my god did he just snort?

"JESUS!" Dave's eyes flew open for a short moment, revealing bright red orbs. Then they squeezed shut again.

"Is that why you wear those dorky shades?" John asked. "To hide your pretty eyes?"

"NAHAHAHAHAHAT PRETTY!" he protested, laughter going silent after his hips and ears were attacked at the same time. "EGBERT!" he tried to shout, only producing a wheezing sound instead.

"Had enough?" he asked, moving away from his ears. The blonde nodded frantically. "Well...okay!" And he finally stopped for good.

Dave lay there, giggling slightly as he rubbed at his skin to get the residue tingly feelings to go away. "Oh-oh god." He wiped at his reddened face, which was streaked with tears. "Thahat was so bahahad."

"Come on, it wasn't THAT bad." John grinned cheekily.

"That-that's because yohohou probably like being tihihickled," he gasped.

"What?! I-I don't like it!" he protested. "You're just being stupid!"

"Could've...fought harder to get away from me," Dave pointed out.

"You're reading too much into it!" John exclaimed, then burst into giggles as his sides were rapidly pinched. "Okahahay, I admit it! I lihihike being tihihickled! It's fuhuhun!" He collapsed on top of him with a smile. "Happy now?"

"Very." He put his shades back on.

"Come on, man." He took them off and held them out of his reach. "I like your eyes, really. Why do you hide them?"

"They're weird," Dave mumbled.

"Come on, they're beautiful," John said without thinking. "U-um." He wracked his brain for a way to deflect his embarrassment. "You're wearing the shades I gave you."

"So?" He crossed his arms. "You said they might be more ironic."

"Do you...only wear these now? Why don't you wear the pointy ones anymore?" He set them down.

"Because these came from you," Dave grumbled.

"Dave..." John closed his eyes, thinking. "Dave," he said again. "I'm not gay, but..." He leaned forward and pressed his lips against his.

"Mmm." He wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. "John," he murmured as he pulled away.

"I love you," he squeaked. "I'm sorry."

"I know." Dave smiled, not in a cocky way. "Me too."

"But I'm not gay," John added.

"You're queer as a football bat." He poked him in the stomach, making him giggle. "Admit it."

"Maybe only for you." He snuggled against his chest. "I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want me to leave, either." Dave stroked his hair gently.

"Then stay here," John whispered.

"Wh-what?" He blinked. "Stay here with you?"

"No more Smuppets," he pointed out. "More time for irony. And you have me."

"I'll think about it," Dave sighed. "I love you."

"I love you too, ruby eyes." John fell asleep on top of him, his soft snores filling the air.

"Night, Egderp." He fell asleep too, tired out from everything that had happened earlier.

#my fics #tickle fic #Homestuck #John Egbert #Dave Strider #JohnDave #DaveJohn #I love these dorks help

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