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#‘im going to stub your toes.’
systemofshadow · 1 year
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t showed up in my dream last night but it was only for a second!! tall motherfucker didn't come back outside to stargaze with the rest of us smh. i wanted to see your face in HD you bastard!!
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partyswirl · 1 year
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going through my divorce arc with this i want to throw all of the characters against the wall violently but eveyr time they get hurt i am so sad and i’m pretty sire at least one of them has gotten violetnyl thrown against a wall and i cried so
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bunnie5 · 2 years
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sometimes those "healthy!" diagrams on here are so annoying no one is allowed to have issues we all have to smile and nod and keep on lest we "emotionally dump" on someone
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cyko-tik-tabaxi · 1 year
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@mcdominatrix? imma be under your bed tonight for calling me out like this
(0:31.8 - 0:58.7)
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bi-writes · 4 months
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bestfriend!roommate!simon asks you to come with him on a night out. it is not quite the evening you were expecting.
more bestfriend!roommate!simon (part 5/?)
cw: mature language and content, suggestive language and content, mentions of death, fem!receiving suggestive touching, oral(fem!receiving), simon is an ass man, simon "i wont say it out loud but thats my girl" riley
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simon was standing outside of the diner. he was in his usual spot outside, leaning along the brick wall in the alleyway. you knew it was him by the small light that flickered every so often--simon was smoking his routine cigarette as he waited for you.
simon was true to his word. ever since you began working night shifts at the diner, you weren't allowed to walk home alone. it was non-negotiable, not to be discussed. someone would pick you up at the end of your shift, and if no one could make it, there was a car waiting outside, a driver poking his head out and asking for your name. and that driver would stand, shaking a little, nervous, as they walked you to your door and said, "was told if i didn't see you go inside and lock the door that...i-i wouldn't be driving with two hands anymore--"
simon did not cut corners. he did not say "tonight will be fine--she doesn't need me." simon did not get comfortable, and he did not let safety and routine ease his fears.
he had made that mistake once before, and he had nearly lost everything--nearly. he would never make that mistake again.
the bell chimed above the door as you came outside. simon tossed the cigarette onto the ground and stubbed it out with the steel toe of his boot just as you came near. you looked up at him as he came out of the shadows, smiling just a little.
"hi, simon."
"luv."
he wrapped a hand around the back of your head, bringing you close and kissing your forehead through the mask. you closed your eyes when he did this, feeling warmth flood your cheeks at the gesture.
"i need to ask you a favor," he said as you began to walk home. you put your arm through his, holding onto his bicep as you tried to skip the cracks in the pavement.
"sure, simon. what is it?"
"'m goin' out tonight. meeting with someone, at the pub. need you to come with me."
you looked up at him as he brought you to a stop before you were crossing the street. you frowned a little, laughing, confused.
"u-uh...sure...i'll come." you snuggled into his arm, resting your chin on his shoulder. "what's the occasion? need me on your arm so you can stay silent while i do all the talking?"
he grunted a bit, shaking his head.
"no. we're just going to a pub. in an hour."
"sheesh, not a lot of time for a girl to get presentable," you joked.
"you always look beautiful," simon murmured, putting the key in the front door and opening up the apartment. he put a hand on your back as he guided you in first. "that's a mad way of thinkin'."
you smiled to yourself as you went into your bedroom. you pretended not to notice the way his hand lingered on your back, or how it grazed the hem of your skirt.
when you came back out, it took every ounce of simon's self control not to groan out loud. you had his favorite jeans on. a light wash, ones that hugged your waist no nicely and accentuated the curves of your ass in a way that he couldn't see as well when you wore a skirt or a dress. and you were wearing heeled boots, ones that made you sit so good, made you a little taller, your walk just that much more sensual.
"im ready."
you shrugged on a leather jacket, and simon grabbed a black jacket of his own, fitting it on over his hoodie. the pub was only a walk away. it was somewhere you had been before; they had cheap pints and good greasy food, and the bartender called you doe--he liked your soft eyes.
you let go of simon's arm as he opened the door for you. the pub was warm, and the chatter was quiet and lively. the yellow of the lights and the smell of cigarettes and beer was so familiar and nice. you went for the bar, but simon put a hand around your waist, bringing your attention to the back of the room. your eyes fell on a man, someone with a beanie and an army green jacket hunched over a glass of single malt.
you let him redirect you, and when you finally went to sit at the table, a stern, weathered face with indiscernible blue eyes stared up at you. simon took a seat next to you, his hands folding on top of the desk.
"what...what is--"
"this is captain john price," simon interrupted you. "he's my commanding officer."
you straightened up in your seat suddenly. the captain had his eyes on you, looking you up and down--not in a rude or threatening way, more like he was just so curious. his gaze was gentle, and finally he held out his hand for you to shake. you clasped your hand in his, giving him a firm hold, and the man finally cracked a smile under his unusual mustache.
"nice to meet you," you said softly. "i...i-i'm sorry, i...i don't understand..."
"i need you to sign some papers," john said finally. "if that's alright with you, ma'am."
"ma'am? am i your mother?" you raised a brow, cracking a bit of a smile. "no need for the formalities. i'm under the impression you're the one getting simon home, so let's not beat around the bush, john."
at the use of his name and no other title, john smiled. he gave simon a look, something as if to say, i like this one. you tilted your head to the side.
"you want me to sign papers. let me see them."
john pulled a wad of papers from the inside of his jacket, sliding them over to you. you took them, unfolding them and skimming the words. there was only one set of words you needed to pay attention to before you folded the papers back up.
NEXT OF KIN
your head snapped to the side, looking at simon with an incredulous face. your lips parted, your bottom lip trembling.
"what the fuck is this? huh?"
simon clicked his teeth.
"please--"
you moved to leave, but simon had an iron grip on the back of your chair. you bared your teeth at him, hissing under your breath.
"i'm not signing shit, you asshole," you snapped. "what the fuck is this? if you wanna die out there, that's your fucking business, but don't put that shit on me, simon--"
"i need to know that if somethin' happens to me, that you're gonna be straight, so quit your whinin' and be fuckin' realistic," he said lowly. "if something happens to me right now, you don't get anything. and i can't go...i can't go out again without you signing those papers, do you understand me?"
"why do i have to do this?" you glared at him. you tried to be angry, but your eyes were glossy. you were terrified, and your heartbeat was pulsing in your ears. "why can't you just put my name somewhere and just--"
"we're not married," simon explained. "and if things go wrong...i want you to have everything. and i mean...everything."
you closed your eyes, sniffling as you tried to keep in the tears. you felt his hand touch your shoulder gently, soft circles to try and relax you.
"sign the papers," simon whispered. "just sign'em, and we can go home."
"no, i'll go home, and you can sit out in the fucking doghouse and think about how well it'll go if you ever ambush me like this again."
you flipped the papers back over, snatching the pen from john's outstretched hand and beginning to sign messily the highlighted lines on the papers. you finished, shoving the stack back across the table before kicking the chair out from behind you. it knocked simon's arm off roughly, but you just glared at him before making your way to the bar to sit. simon watched as the bartender poured you a generous drink.
"she's fuckin' pissed at you, and she sits at the bar instead of going home?"
"she's not allowed to go home without a ride," simon murmured. "a rule she knows well."
"sounds a bit--" john's voice cut short when he met simon's hard stare. john cleared his throat, tucking the papers back into his jacket. "'m gonna make sure these get filed."
"tonight," simon demanded.
"tonight," john echoed. "be all squared away."
simon folded his hands in front of him, swallowing hard as he looked at you at the bar. there were a few tears running down your face. simon hated seeing you cry; he hated even more that he was the cause of that pain, but in his eyes, this was a necessary evil.
"she's beautiful, simon."
"watch it, mate." there was no malice behind simon's response--it was more of an acknowledgement that yes indeed, she's beautiful. "this goes nowhere, cap'n. not johnny, not gaz, not laswell--"
"i know," john nodded. "i'll get it done."
john stood up to leave, and simon held onto his hand as they shook hands. he pulled him closer, staring right into his eyes.
"she gets...everything. every single bloody penny."
john nodded, letting go of him and finding his way out. simon turned his head back to the bar, watching you carefully. a man came up to you, presumably wanting to buy you a drink, but you spit something out at him which the man didn't like. simon leaned back in his chair, smirking under the mask when the man waddled outside with his hand holding his crotch and a hard, red face.
when simon closed the door behind you after stepping inside the apartment, you were quick to come closer to him. his hand twisted the locks, and then your arms were around his neck, hugging him close as you breathed in the scent of him. all of the sudden, you didn't hate the smell of cigarettes. burning cigarettes meant simon was breathing in, sucking in breath, alive.
"i'm sorry, luv," he murmured into your hair. "'m sorry i cornered you like that, but i needed to--"
"i just don't like thinking about it, simon--what the fuck would i do without you?"
"you've been without me before."
"not by choice, never by choice," you snapped. "you leave. and i just miss you." you push off the hood over his head, smoothing a hand down the back of his balaclava. "i know what you do is important. i know you're good at what you do. but while you're off saving the world..."
"don't do this to me," simon hissed. "don't play that fuckin' card."
"i can play that card all i like after tonight," you growled. "you wanna throw all that responsibility on me? the burden of carrying your cross if a bullet goes through your head? tough shit, simon! while you're off saving the world, i'm the one that gets left behind! i'm the one sitting at home, biting my nails until they bleed because i don't know if you're dead or alive!"
the room was quiet. so quiet, the creak of the floorboards sounding under you as simon gripped your hips tight. you beat a fist against his chest, letting more tears fall.
"it's not fair, simon," you whimpered. "all we've been through...everything that's happened..." you hiccuped gently. "it's not fair, you're so...you're so mean..."
"mean?" he looked hurt. a flash of it crossed his eyes, something sad.
"yes, you're mean," you whispered. "what you do to me is so mean..." you leaned in. "you touch me...you kiss me...you give me everything but then you expect me to just..." you sucked in a shaky breath. "...i don't know what i am to you, simon. i don't know what you want from me."
simon grunted at that. he was terrible with words. he didn't know how to express what he felt for you, how to tell you that you were it. that maybe instead of making you sign those papers, he should've gotten onto his knees and begged you to marry him. tied a thread around your ring finger and made price bear witness. but you were...this was already too far. living with you was too far, touching you was too far, tasting you was too far--he had enough self-control to leave before he went too far, but it killed him when he walked away from you.
so he got down on his knees. he turned you around, pushed on the small of your back until you were kneeling against the couch, ass up on your forearms as he found the button on your jeans and tugged them low. you didn't stop him, but you were still crying softly. simon wasted no time, getting behind you on his knees and tugging your panties down. he spread your ass with both hands after tugging his mask up, wasting no time as he leaned forward and buried his tongue between your folds.
"dunno what to call you," simon murmured. "no idea. all i know is that you're mine, luv--" you shoved your face into the cushions, whining as he slurped noisily, tracing letters into your cunt with his tongue and pressing kisses to the wet skin there. you were always so good for him--he never needed to get you ready, never needed to get you wet, you always seemed to know or maybe you were just that fucking needy for him that you were always this pretty between the legs when he was around. you were such a good girl--waiting, watching, smiling, she's so pretty, she's so beautiful, she's so good to me.
simon wasn't going to let a title take away the things you deserved if something happened to him. the comfort you needed, the security you were never promised, the love that simon always had but never voiced. you deserved it, and so help him, he would give it to you--he would take care of you even if he was six feet under, and there wasn't a move he didn't make that wasn't planned without you in mind.
how do i get back to her?
how i do i leave her without leaving?
how do i make sure she isn't lost even if she doesn't know where to go?
simon was the first man you ever loved. and he would be the last.
you were drooling. your eyes fluttering open and closed, your cheek squished against the cushions as simon ate your cunt from behind. it was filthy, deranged, sucking on your clit in the same place that you ate dinners and watched movies--now it was one of the places that simon ruined you again for any other man or woman or anyone who had their eye on you.
perfect, sweet little cunt--tight, tasted so good, something that could satiate the hunger on a man like him for days over. and simon was hungry. he had trauma; trauma that crawled into his dreams and turned them into nightmares, something that kept him from looking at women the way a man like him might, but he never felt that way with you. fuck, he was hard the minute he saw a sliver of your soft skin, had no problem gripping your plush ass in both hands and eating you furiously, not even a flicker of something angry in his head.
his brain turned off whenever he was with you. sex felt inevitable--hearing your cries wasn't something he wanted, it was something he needed. an angry need, one that had his tongue slipping up your folds and teasing your puckered hole before moving back down and curling inside your pretty cunt.
"c'mon, luv...c'mon, give it to me...give it to me, 'm not gonna ask again--"
you sobbed into the cushion as you came, rocking back against his mouth. you giggled with pleasure as you slid onto your stomach, simon's hands dragging your panties back up as he pressed soft kisses to the meat of your ass.
"'f someone comes around askin', sweetheart, you know what to tell'm."
you belong to a ghost. and that isn't a lie.
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thatdeadaquarius · 20 days
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Imagine a horribly clumsy creator in the sagau... like trips over their own feet, starts coughing due to choking on air randomly, knocking a vase off a table that was in the middle of the table somehow???? Silly goofy stuff like that (I pull these silly goofs often personally)
(obv goes w/o saying sorry for being so late to reply /gen) ;-;
clumsy reader is so me core idk why i didnt think of this lmao
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(this gif is liek the modern equivalent of Charlotte posting ur embarrassing clumsy moments on insta Steambird acc lmao)
(so sometimes im lazy and dont include the ask stuff esp if its shorter like this, so here's at least the characters in this one: Fontaine ppl <3 along with a G for general audience, barring cuss words)
Navia would politely ask you to go the edge or whatever area ur in whenever she pulls out her cannons/guns LMAO
every time you and either Clorinde or Neuvillette are walking next to you, or doing rlly anything, its like night and day
ur out here finding all the cracks in the sidewalk, bumping everything that could even possibly have a liquid in it, and have constant bruises from hip checking/stubbing toes on mechas walking around
Clorinde is impressed at that point bc mechas are actively programmed to get out of your way, so how u managed to put them back into ur way rlly fascinates her 😭😭
Neuvillette would like to wrap u in fabric/bubble wrap equivalent for his old ass, in an attempt to desperately stop u from hurting urself lol
u get a new coat or new pants from him all the time, u just thought at first he was rlly into giving u Fontaine fashion until Furina pointed out that it was spring/summer and you wouldn't wear thick woolen pants and fur-lined coats everyday 💀
(poor dragon guy doesn't rlly get the practical side of clothes, he likes fashion, but he inadvertently subscribes to the "hoes don't get cold" philosophy by being an ancient dragon lord)
Wriothesley is unfortunately nice enough to constantly try and catch his poor god, which ends well for neither of you 50% of the time
its not even ur weight takes him down, he's buff as hell after all, and he's dealt with rowdy inmates, its just.. ur clumsiness spreads.
if ur tripping, and the poor Duke reaches out to catch you, ur reaching out at the same time to steady urself on a side table w/a vase full of water, which u then knock off, drenching ur back and his face at the same time LMAO
he doesn't learn, despite u literally begging him to stop trying to help u, then u try and compromise to just let u fall and help u afterward asdfghkl-
Wrio's too chivalrous tho, the most u can get him to do is always grab ur arm instead of trying to bodily catch you
if u think after the first like, ✌️ TWO times Lynette is willing to help you, u r so wrong lmao
she's seen her brothers clumsiness, she knows theres no saving u
she does comfort u after slipping (not even falling but just flailing dramatically) for the 5th time in the puddles around water fountains tho
Lyney and Freminet are lowkey legit convinced someones cursed their god atp 😰
Freminet always had bandaids for u, and Lyney keeps a supply of ur fav candy to cheer u up after embarrassing urself by falling ass backwards right into the Fountain of Lucine right in front of Opera house lmao
...
...Charlotte thinks this is all vv hilarious, no she has no respect for ur godliness, her archon was Furina like LMAO- IM SORRYYY
(she has started a small section in the steambird of a near daily- DAILY picture of u being clumsy 😭)
(u, not srsly, threaten to smite her and she just giggles)
(its ok they take it all in a cute/endearing trait type of way)
again, sorry for lateness, when i reopen askbox (soon, FINALLY-)
ill try and stay more on top of it and try and sort whatre just chats/non-requests better too 😭😭
hope u guys are having a good week!! tysm for being patient and nice to me :')
Safe Travels Kai,
💀♒
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♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue
@kiyomi-uchiha777
<3
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xo-cod · 4 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/xo-cod/738798264594415616/141-k%C3%B6nig-sex-bloopers
sorry yeah that's it i meant irl it's not perfect and stuff happens sometimes :) whatever ignore this im silly
you're not silly, i loved this :') <3 this might be cringe and it's ooc/rushed/headcannons but LMAOO i tried my best :") nsfw/sfw ahead!
the not so sexy moments of sex with the 141
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price trying to be all sexy and suave loosening his top and removing his bucket hat in an act of seduction which results in him stubbing his toe and yelping in pain for a good few minutes
gaz panicking at the thought of his cum going into your eye after a blowjob and proceeding to scare himself for days on the off-chance you develope some sort of eye infection
soap after getting slightly confused with what he was doing grabbed a diagram of a vagina and made you hold it so he could have better success rate of making you cum
simon screeching loudly after snapping on his latex condom a little harder than recommended. bear with him, he has to take a few minutes, his body took a screenshot from how intense it was
price ending up falling asleep during a hand job but in his defence he was on five days with three hours of sleep and a whole bunch of coffee that was keeping him going
gaz very confidently and with that half smirk of his, mid way giving you the best head asking you if you're about to have an organism
soap realizing very quickly that food play is not like the movies and that it stings/burns, proceeds to awkwardly hop and waddle into the bathroom
simon trying be all cute and romantic which results in him spooning you close to his body, only to proceed to hack and choke when he inhaled your hair by accident
price having the lack of coordination after he tried to undress himself trying to come over to the bed and ending up face planting into the floor with a huge thud and a string of curse words following by (this mans just stays falling LMAO)
gaz genuinely ashamed about tearing your expensive lingerie in his excitement that he gives himself a time out and learns the true meaning patience
simon, bless his heart, already breaking the bedframe in his excitement when he grabbed you and pinned you against it.
gaz frantically trying to get it back it up, cussing his cock out and trying to awkwardly laugh but it comes out as a cry for help
simon slamming his forehead into the doorframe when he tried to be all hot and sexy, proceeding to cut himself and cuss everything out within a 10 mile radius (never you though :3)
soap's confidence absolutely obliterating when he was so turned on he ended up cumming while trying to get inside you
gaz making you take a survey after sex and telling you to rate the experience and what he could improve on next time
simon absolutely enraged at the mark on your neck thinking someone had hurt you, completely forgetting he was the one to leave it on you and it was a hickey
soap falling asleep while trying to go down on you after he finished a long mission. his head was buried between the warmth and comfort of your thighs and his eyes fell like shutters, nuzzling deep unconsciously into your heat
simon just zoning out when staring at your tits, lost in a trance and you're wondering if he's going to actually touch them. he does so but after a good 15 minutes
price squeezing your tiddies to paw at them and get them all perky but ends up feeling your ribs in the darkness and gets excited.
soap just poking at your nipple mid thrust in pure curiosity. not even to flick or pinch them, just a small poke before he goes back to doing what he was doing
gaz having a sneezing fit when he tried to lick your neck and chest only to be allergic to the perfume you were wearing
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sh0tanzz · 2 months
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Hiii💞 i wonder how they act when they have a crush 👀 cant wait for delulu Wonbin 🤣
RIIZE WHEN CRUSHING~ based on their birth charts
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Authors Note: Im really scared I made this wayyy too long but enjoy everyone LOL
Shotaro
Stalks your socials once he gets them, but not in a creepy way ! Just to see the person you are outside of the settings he usually sees you in 😭. Tries to find out a lot about you..sometimes it’d -feel- likes he’s probing but it comes from a good place I swear. Would become your friend or at least well acquainted with you pretty fast and would be more forward with his interest. Super charming and would be pretty bold; would make a crazy amount of eye contact with you to where you can’t help but become flustered. Wouldn’t be too afraid of skinship tbsh.
Eunseok
You probably would barely know he liked you until you realize him bothering you was him having an excuse to be around you without raising suspicion; the fact every time you turn around he’s just..there 😭 even if he’s in the midst of hanging out/conversing with others he manages to be in the same place as you. Affectionate at the most random times like if you stubbed your toe he’d laugh at you till he cried but if you were upset about something so simple he’d be so empathetic. Would come at you with a mixture of teasing you whilst also trying to seduce you at the same time ???
Sungchan
Straightens his back and tries to stand out whenever you’re around. Oh you have a bag that’s hard to carry ? Isn’t it sooo crazy that he, Sungchan can carry it for you without breaking a sweat. Will ask for your input and opinion on his work/dancing/rapping even if he knows he did well just to hear your praises and compliments. Suddenly starts wearing a certain brand that you mentioned you liked more often. Reiterates the fact you can depend on him..if you need a listening ear he’s there if you need advice or someone around he’s there. Showersss you in compliments and small gifts until you collapse.
Wonbin
I’ve noticed a lot of people think Wonbin is some type of toxic fratboy when it comes to romance but…no, not really. I won’t lie he’s been around the block before 😭 but when it comes to someone he GENUINELY LIKES. A damn simp he is. Would text you more compared to talking to you in person in the beginning out of shyness. Tries to bond with you via things you’re both interested in. May use artistic details to express how he feels..example: playing a song you like on his guitar for you. His approach is more slow and hesitant once he understands this requires actual effort and has to be genuine.
Seunghan
A literal flirt bot ohmg. Tries his best to be on your good side and for you to see him as someone you can easily trust and get along with initially. Invites you to come with him whenever hes about to go out to a fun activity, trying something new or about to party/drink. Compliments you SO MUCH and is more outwardly affectionate. Make fun of you A LOT (rip if you’re sensitive) but luckily he’d dote on you like right after. His venusian influence makes him popular with women so he’d try super hard to swat them away so you don’t get the wrong idea of him. Boasts to people that he has more of a chance with you than anyone else 😭
Sohee
Similary to Shotaro he’d get acquainted with you pretty easily. Ik a lot of briize view Sohee as soft and sweet but ngl his sag mercury makes him pretty blunt plus it’s square mars so he might talk a bit reckless 😭 He might mention liking you without MENTIONING liking you yk. He’d say it so plainly to where you think it’s a joke BUT ITS NOT HES VERY FR. Jokes his way into your heart and hangs out with you in fun locations. Definitely makes fun of other guys to ensure to you he’s the one for you LMFAOO. He’s typically the one being doted on but once he likes you he’d switch the role.
Anton
The biggest. Friends to lovers trope. Occurrence ever. Hed be introverted and keep his distance in the beginning but as soon as you were more closer he’d do small sweet things like spam your phone , give you snacks, have you tag along with him whenever he’s heading somewhere random. His aries influence makes him competitive and taurus venus slightly makes him possessive so he’d def try to get your attention more than others. There’d most def be a funny limbo of both you and him not knowing whether you two were friends, together or in some kind of in between 😭.
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pedge-page · 1 month
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Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife as you're sitting in your little sofa chair, watching the TV with curious eyes and twiddling your toes propped up on the ottoman.
Joel just folding some clothes when suddenly you shout in a long drawn out yell:
"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Joel sits up quickly. "What what is it what's wrong??"
You clear your throat, "Nothing!" You peep, giving him too thumbs up and a chipper smile.
He gives you a curt look but then turns back to folding.
Then
"aaaaAAAAAAAAUUUGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" You screech with your hands clutching your belly and your face all screwed up in obvious pain.
"Honey! What's wrong??"
"Nothing!" You say again. Your face is so happy and smiley, as if there's not a hint of the woman just screaming bloody Mary 11 seconds ago. "Im gooooooood."
Joel doesn't even fully turn around when you open your mouth and wail,
"WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Joel stands over you with his hands on his hips as you take a deep breath when the ache passes through you again.
"Are you in pain?"
"No! No no noooooOooOooO baby I'm good! I'm soooooo good! A-okay superman!" You wink at him, drumping your hands on your thighs and swaying back and forth as if you were dancing to a tune.
Joel raises his eyebrow and watches you without blinking...and after a few moments your little reassuring smile starts to dissolve into wide eye horror, fingernails digging into the plush armrests next to you as another wave of pain freezes your body and overcomes you slowly, your mouth opening and voice carrying out your throat :
"aaaaaaaaaHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUIUIJJJJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"Mmmmmhm. Not in pain, right?" Joel says to his stubborn, stubborn, born-on-a-stub Wife.
You suck in rapid breaths of air, eyes squeezed to hold in the tears welling up as you shake your head at your husband like the worst liar known to man.
He purses his lips trying not to let out the giggle puffing through his chest.
"My brave brave stubborn girl." He kisses your forehead.
"M' not stubbor-- oooohhAOOOHHHHHHAAAAARHHHGGHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRTYYYHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAUUUUGGGHHHHHUUHUUHUUUHHH!!!!!!!
Joel kneels beside you with his hand on yours. "Deep breaths with me, babe."
You follow his suit and breathe in then force it out, in and out in and out, Letting out little grunts with the pangs in your belly. Your fingers grip his shoulder as you grit yoyr teeth "fucker-fuckin-fucking fuck fucker-"
"Okay, whatever you say, just breathe."
"Fuckin--ahhh! Stupid-stupid ugly beard fuck ughhh- ugh fuck--your nose is so cute mmm AH--yeah hate you fucker- sweet daddy I love y--FUCK!"
He just keeps nodding, urging you to breathe in and out with him as you let your wildly confusing pains.
He just knows his daughter is going to keep both of you on your toes.
- - - -
Taglist
@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrs-oharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee
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msperfect777 · 10 months
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nothing is serious
non dualism got me understanding that nothing is serious. countless of times i would remember that i had heavy anxiety and panic attacks and thoughts that were crazy intrusive and now that i think back on them its like they were never that serious… ask yourself, when you feel depressed or full of anxiety, who feels it? what benefit does anyone get by stressing and worrying? feelings and thoughts come and go, they arent permenent therefore they arent real so what is there to stress about? in the present moment when “you” feel down and intrusive, are you the one who is feeling those feelings? are you the one thinking those thoughts? nope. ya already know consciousness is the true self. you are only observing that “experience” which ego takes it as real bc thats all ego knows. ego is conditioned and asks too many questions and creates issues where there are none. next time you get bad feelings, step back and be pure awareness. whos thinking these thoughts… not me… whos suffering? not me. whos thinking thoughts… not me.. all this is an illusion… its a game… why would i take an illusion seriously?
lets say “i” stub my toe. the body feels the pain but i (consciousness) can only be aware of the pain. the illusion part is that is feels as if IM the one whos in pain. thats not true, thats why its an illusion, a dream. i can only be aware bc everything is awareness. i am forever aware. i am effortlessly aware. right now you are aware of these words right? effortlessly. bc thats who you are. you can only be aware of things not “feel” or “stress” or “think”. those are all unreal and illusionary.
you are always awareness but pure awareness is when there are no thoughts just pure observing. observing without judgment from the ego. ask your self the questions from above again. none of which ego is “feeling” is real. understanding non dualism means you have finally realized that “suffering” and “pain” and “failure” are imaginary concepts. nothing is real and when nothing is real, nothing is serious. “life” becomes more fun and free and full of happiness bc thats exactly what consciousness (you) is.
@msperfect777
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zhng96 · 8 months
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to breathe in your life — s. hanbin
↳ in which sung hanbin fills every mole, bruise and scar on your body with his love and his life.
↳ pairing: s. hanbin x gn!reader
↳ warnings: comfort fic,, reader is a little insecure about “imperfections”,, i think i melted into a big puddle while writing this (but i also kind of hate it im so sorry 😭)
perm taglist: @tzuberry @hrtattcker @yueriots @neohyxn @avocarua @dwcljh
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while many would refer to you as a klutz, hanbin offered a better term; endearing.
your shocked face when you find yourself bumping into another corner of a table, or stubbing your toe on yet another chair leg every day, and the way you would shrug it off as if nothing happened just added another trait to add to the long list he adores about you.
despite his fondness for your habit of bumping into god-knows-what regularly, he couldn't find himself to enjoy the way you tried to act like the many bruises, scratches and scars didn't bother you.
the sun was slowly dusking, it's shape carved into a crescent as it folded beneath the mountains it descended upon.
hanbin walks out of the bathroom, finally feeling the weight of the day lifted from his shoulders, his hair still damp and his face holding a slight shine.
he smiles, seeing you sitting on the bed- but the smile slowly descends down into a frown at the sight of you poking, prodding, stretching and frowning at the scratches and bruises that inked your limbs. some new, some old- yellowing as they healed- which in your opinion, made them even uglier despite knowing that it's a sign of a fresh start.
(more under the cut!)
hanbin slowly makes his way towards the bed, his feet knocking against the hardwood before it ceases and then a crinkling of your duvet is heard.
you raise your eyes to meet his, blushing to find his face painted with ardent adoration.
"what?" you whisper, eyes glued to his, which dart around where you had just been belittling.
with your heart ringing in your ears, you grab onto the side of the duvet closest to you before tugging it to cover your lap. with hanbin already sitting on the duvet, the tug does nothing. hanbin places his warm hand over your fist, desperately clutching at the blanket.
you resort to pulling your knees to your chest, letting go of the blanket and feeling your hand cool at the absence of hanbin's warm touch.
hanbin, still eerily silent, leans down to your knees, eyeing a indigo-tinted bruise just above your knee cap before kissing it. your shoulder relax as you watch him press his kips to your newly formed bruise, a tingling replacing what was once inhibition.
he then moves to the middle of your calf, seeing a faded scar you had gotten when you were still quite young- long before you met him. he kisses it anyway.
then he straightens, moving to gently tug at your arm. he brings his lips down onto a mole that resides on your wrist, then moves to your bicep that housed an old bruise- painted with an unsightly yellow; he kisses that too.
next arm; a scratch you had gotten when your arms accidentally grazed the edge of table, the contact of his lips is felt once again. every bruise; whether painted blue, purple, yellow or green, every mole, every faded scar and every scratch, big or small- he offered his affection to.
with every kiss, he replaced each insecurity with his love- and with every kiss, he breathed in that insecurity and offered his life, a new unadulterated view of yourself, and threads of string that tied the two of you together like neighbouring stars in a constellation.
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navi. mlist.
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skzeuphoria-blog · 1 year
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Okay okay okay so what about like pussy drunk Jisung who absolutely w r e c k s you when you’re too incoherent to do anything, or he’s the first person to ever finger/eat you out and it’s in his studio (the fingering/eating you out) bc you’re just the tiniest bit needy and too tempting for him to focus on his work. Or the most dominant lee know with a pain kink that becomes a problem bc like a paper cut is bad news and the two of you try to keep it a secret from the members as to why you go missing for a bit after he stubs his toe or hits his hand on smt, until he ends up somehow cutting his hand while chopping vegetables (which isn’t supposed to happen bc it’s Minho), and it’s a HUGE problem bc he gets so incredibly horny that you’ve barely pulled out the Bandai’s before he’s fingering the hell out of you and the members find out bc they hear y’all banging I’m sorry this is so long😭
omg first of all tysm for requesting this!! you're legit the first person to do so and im so sorry if i'm late to answering this. i deleted the app and i had stuff going on and completely forgot to check tumblr... also fair warning this is my second time EVER writing something like this so i have ZERO experience but keep the ideas coming tyty!! this is very rushed because I wanted to get something out to you and i had no idea in what style to write so i just put something together quickly and you can always request something else anyway....
I absolutely love the idea of going over to Jisung's apartment to "study" (you had a wet dream the night before and was kind of needy) and to get some "help" (you want to get touched sexually) by Jisung.
You'd open up your textbooks and computer but within 10 minutes you were already staring at Jisung, imagining your dirty fantasies that you didn't even know you had before.
You weren't a prude but you've never had the opportunity to act out any fantasies even small ones due to a lack of boyfriends.
You noticed your cheeks burning up and looked away quickly trying to open another textbook but as you were doing that you knocked a glass full of water over, causing it to spill all over the floor. You'd gasped and say, "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! It was an accident I swear" Jisung would laugh in response saying that it was okay and he knew you were clumsy. You'd hurry to the kitchen to get paper towels and run back. As you would bend over, wiping the floor dry Jisung could catch a glimpse of your ass (and the wet spot that was starting to form).
He'd soon, too, would start to imagine you bending over and him fucking you raw, telling you to focus on your task but the feeling of Jisung being in you raw would be too much and you'd start telling me to go faster and harder.
Jisung would inevitably get uncomfortable by the growing tent in his pants and trying to cover it up with a pillow from the couch.
You'd look over at him and wondered why he looked so flustered and red.
Jisung would groan, throwing his head back "Ah Y/N, I can't take it anymore, this is too much." Jisung would definitely be cocky towards you and very straightforward. No beating around the bus with Jisung. Direct is the way to go.
He'd reveal his bulge he's been hiding under a pillow and you'll look at him with the most innocent angel eyes that always drove him crazy.
He'd tell you to come over and sit next to him. At that point, you were like putty, willing to do anything for Jisung. He had you (and your pussy soon) wrapped around his finger.
He would tell you to remove your clothes and in less than 5 seconds they would be off of you and on his floor.
He'd maintain eye contact as he would tease the entrance to your pussy, making you gasp. You'd quietly ask for more but he'd tell you to speak up like a good girl. Saying it louder, he'd oblige and put his whole finger in slowly, making you gasp even louder.
He'd look at you intensely, his finger going in out, exploring every inch of your insides making you moan.
To Jisung, your moans were the prettiest music he's ever heard. He'd love to hear them on repeat.
Begging him to go faster, gripping his body, he would oblige and go faster. You'd moan and say a curse of strings that Jisung would get turned on by. He loves it when your pretty mouth curses.
You'd finally cum on finger, shaking all over.
THERE IDK WHAT I WROTE SORRY ALSO IT WASNT TOO LONG IT'S JUST LATE AND IM TIRED BUT I WANTED TO ANSWER THIS ASAP
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indigo-o · 11 months
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Lil nicknames pt1 Nikolai gogol!
All fluffy fluff and some subjectiveness
Im nb fem presenting so I have to think and don't get mad at please, ive always been kept from what mlm or wow couple ment bc its seen as sinful, yeah I'm learning more so thank you for listing to my vent
Nikolai with a fem!s/o
He would definitely call you little dove, dovey, sweets, little miss.
When he calls you dovey when he's feeling like he wants funnesys, he'd also wrap his arms around your troseo when calling you dovey.
He'd call you little miss if yall were going on a date. If he'd be able to go out (little murder clown •_•)
Your cooking=your new name is sweets
Nikolai with a male!s/o
Kind sir, my boy, sweets, mansey (man-z)
WHEN HES FEELN' FRUITY HES CALLING YOU MY BOY
Like i said early if yall (bc its Nikolai) ever go to or out on a date. He's calling you kind sir
Your cooking = sweets
Okay mansey, bro I don't even know. I feel like when he's feeling dramatic he'd use it. He'd stub his toe( which I's a perfectly good read reason to be dramatic) he'd say "Oh no!! I've stubbed my toe! Help me". He dramatically falls down. "Mansey, mansey help me! Be the man, I'm dyinggggg aghhĥhh helppppp.".
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk
Lamo
Jkjkjk
Nikolai with a nb!s/o
Dove, my love, lovely darling, kind love
My love, when he noms on your neck (tell me he would do that) he'd come up behind you
Nom
Dates? Hmmmm? I really just think date with him are laying on the floor of your home. "My love your perfect."
"Lovely darling, im home! Dos-kun made me do suck hard work.". He'd whine. "He did? Go wash your clothes then sweetheart.". With dinner being made.
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awfulwriter123 · 6 months
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Rhea Ripley x Clumsy! Reader (Headcanon's)
Hey everyone!! Before we get started i wanna say thank you for the support on my other work's! I'm hope you guys enjoy reading them as much as i enjoy writing them! This idea came to me as i broke the nail on my toe, hurts like a bitch, but working through the pain. As always criticism and tips are appreciated, i got a couple of idea's for some one-shot's and hc's so stay tuned!! Happy reading everyone!! ❤️❤️
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. Rhea found your clumsiness to be quite endearing and adorable at times.
. Accidently bumping into her during the day randomly, she'll even ask "I feel like your just doing it on purpose to spend time with me."
. You swear its not on purpose, although you never object to spending more time with the aussie.
. Now other times however, your clumsiness scare's her, one time you offered to help her make dinner and accidentally cut the tip of your finger.
. She was quick to bandage it up and told you "just sit there and look pretty, i'll let you know if i need help."
. Purposefully make's dinner without asking for help once to make you don't hurt yourself again with any other kitchen appliance's.
. Now when she is on the road and you hurt yourself? Sucks alot, sure you have Barry and Luna too keep you company and give you comfort.
. Just not the same when you have to bandage it yourself and don't have rhea to comfort you.
. One time stubbed your toe on the of the island and the nail look like it was about to fall off. To say you called rhea panicking sounds like a understatement.
. "What do you mean it looks like your nail's about to fall off!?"
. "It's literally loose and looks like its about to fall off! should i just pull it off?"
. "NO!"
. You did your best to bandage it up and just wait until rhea gets home to get a better look at it.
. One time you were not paying attention to where you were going and banged your head into a doorframe.
. She was very concerned when she facetimed you and saw you holding a ice pack to your forehead.
. "Ran into a doorway, im fine hehe" You gave a sheepish laugh and smile to which you immediately went "Ow!" When pressed the ice pack a bit too hard against your head.
. She shook her head while chuckling. "What am i going to do with you?"
. You were a klutz, but you were HER klutz, and she loved you for it.
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sexhaver · 10 months
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smogon singles is so funny if you view it through the lens of in-universe pokemon training and battling
"i hatched hundreds of mons until i found one with perfect stats and nature, raised it on vitamins and fighting extremely specific amounts of extremely specific pokemon, and taught it the best moves to do as much damage as possible to the current most popular pokes"
"okay well i did the same thing but for defense so now your attacks always leave me with at least 5% health remaining"
"well now im training my mons to throw spikes at you because if your guy stubs their toe while switching in then they die instead of surviving with 5%"
"yeah that'd be a great idea if i didn't train my Starmie to spin around really really fast which does basically no damage but gets rid of spikes"
"im running a ghost pokemon specifically to switch into this move so it fails and you still have to deal with spikes"
"what if i bit your jugular and never let go"
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thatdeadaquarius · 9 months
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OKAY BUT I HAVE MORE IDEA FOR BLUNT READER CUZ I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCHANDMDJFKSLDKF
So you know how french people's insult are always outta pocket (from a person who's first language is french I can tell you that no other language compares in insult -apart for African languages)
Like,, some "bad" insult here would be : bitch, fuck off, whore,..
Which we can all agree is boring...
BUT THEN IN FRENCH!!!
We be getting creative with it
Eg.
"mange tes mort" wich translates to "eat your dead (relatives)"
"vas te fair enculer" means "go get yourself pegged in the ass"
(yes, we have a specific word for being fucked in the ass 💀)
AND THOSE WOULD BE THE COMMON ONES AS WELL
English could never compare ✨
BUT ANYWAYS
how would the characters react if reader was from france/ belgium/ canada(or any other french speaking country) and started cursing people out like they eould do in their home countrie !?!?
The eay their face would drop
We would make a couple of people cry
AND GOD(us haha) FORBID A KID OVER-HEAR US AND STARTS REPEATING US
Trying to un-teach them would be hell *cries*
Your thoughts?
Love yaaaa~
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ABSOLUTE TOP TIER ORAH MY BELOVED!!
Nobody has any idea how much I HATE ENGLISH both for its rules/pronounciation BS/etc. But also, most importantly, THERES LIKE NO GOOD CUSS WORDS- OR LIKE CUSS PHRASES??
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I HAD TO PUT THIS GIF BC THAT WAS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAD THE REALIZATION TO LOOK UP OTHER LANGUAGE CUSS WORDS AND I WAS JUST BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THEY WERE- HOW CREATIVE- 😫😭🥲 ENGLISH WHY R U SO SHITY IN EVERY POSSIBLE LANGUAGE SITUATION-
like idk we got "eat shit and die / fuck off / go fuck yourself" ???? Like- thats pathetic 😟.
I love hearing someone just cuss smbody out their native language/non-english, it’s so badass and cool to see
Anyway u already know i love non-native english speakers from the bottom of my heart✨️
GOD I FUCKING LOVE BLUNT LANGUAGE AU ITS LIKE ONE OF TOP FAV AS U CAN PROBABLY GUESS I COULD WRITE A LITERAL FANFIC ENTIRELY OFF THIS SIMPLE PREMISE 💖💓💗💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
omg so i HAVE SPECIFICALLY HEARD ABT FRENCH BEING RLLY CREATIVEEE
and i researched french cusswords/phrases,,,
😭 BRO IM CRYING
“bête comme ses pieds!” IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR-
(trans: you’re as stupid AS YOUR FEEEEEETT)
idk what’s funnier, you translating urself in real time and saying all these phrases to ppl,
OR just scaring the ever-loving shit out of every teyvat citizen within a mile radius bc oh wow- you look pissed, so yeah somebody’s about to lose all their self-esteem for the rest of their life bc ur insults are known to be extra cutting bc ur so blunt-
OH CREATOR ABOVE (…oh creator, present??)- you changed to your holy language FOR THIS???
everybody just giving the npc the most bombastic side-eye for pushing you to do this,
or even just you stubbing ur toe/ate food when it was too hot
or my favorite, getting onto ppl like Wanderer when they do smth silly lmao
STOP I HAD A FOUL THOUGHT OF GETTING ONTO Ei AND WANDERER (like ei for not keeping him/at least giving him to someone else to raise, then all the shit he did as Scaramouche lol)
AND THIS CUSSWORD COMES OUT UNDER UR BREATH OR SMTH- DOES THIS FIT BC THIS KILLS ME:
“Putain de salope…” (whore of whore, I LIED IT MEANS FUCKING BITCH LMAO😭)
JUST GETTING THE MOM AND THE SON IN ONE FULL BREATH CRYINGGGG
STOPPP wanderer using it against other ppl ever since u used it lol
oh no stop dont bring the kids into thisss 😭😭
Klee would deffo be the first one to pick up ur words and use them, omg she just uses them as catchphrases like when throwing her bombs 💀
“Mange tes mort!” JUST WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AS SHE THROWS HER HUGE SKILL BOMB INTO A FISH POND
Venti would definitely make sure the winds “pass along phrases of the sacred All-God language!”
which just means anyone who UNDERSTANDS YOU JUST GETS GENTLY CREATIVELY CUSSED OUT BY THE WIND IM SOBBINGGG
i hope u guys are having a great summer! its basically too hot to go outside where I am, not unless ur going straight into the water or smth
which hey, ill be doing that this weekend, floating down the river about an hour away from my house with friends! :]
which,,, if anyone sees this, U GOTTA HELP ME THINK OF A 1000 FOLLOWERS MILESTONE THING TO DO IDK WHAT TO DO BUT I WANNA CELEBRATE IT BC I NEVER THOUGHT THATD HAPPEN!! lmk what u think in the comments if u read this!
Safe Travels 0rah,
💀♒
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi
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