#‘hey it’s uh...it’s really fine’

[theygender]

Drank a vitamin water today that made my tongue tingle almost as if it was carbonated for no discernable reason (I drink this flavor all the time so I know that's not normal. checked the expiration date and checked for holes in the bottle but everything looked fine?) and then for dinner I accidentally ate undercooked tilapia. Am I going to die

#the vitamin water was from my fridge and the whole rest of the pack was fine so idk what was up with this one? #i didnt finish it but i drank probably about a third of it before i finally decided for sure that something was off and i wasnt imagining i #and with the tilapia uh. my gf cooked it. and shes cooked tilapia before shes a good chef #the right half of my filet which i ate first was totally fine #but the left half was. different #at first i just thought it was tough bc i was starting at the edge of the filet #but once again about a third of the way into it. once i got to the meatier bits #i realized hey this doesnt seem to be tearing like it should be and also the mouthfeel is kinda like when i eat raw sushi? #also it looks kinda translucent instead of white whats up with that. wow this is getting REALLY hard to tear now huh #and um. apparently 'translucent and doesnt tear easily' is a sign that the tilapia is undercooked 😐 #i looked up if you can get sick from eating undercooked tilapia and the only results im finding are: #1) reddit post saying that fish is the least dangerous type of raw meat and its practically harmless #2) news articles about a lady losing her limbs to a foodborne illness that she got from eating undercooked tilapia #so. i could either be absolutely fine or i could be really really not fine. very comforting lol #rambling

[vulpinesaint]

i don't talk about alucard castlevania very often because the last season of castlevania was so bad to me that i just don't engage with the show anymore like that but make no mistake. i have many thoughts and opinions on that man.

#first of which is they should have treated him better 😭 #like not out of a 'oh he's my favorite character he deserves everything' standpoint #he is and he does. but also What Was The Point Of All That 😭 like jesus christ!!!!! #castlevania writer voice what if we made him sit alone in his empty desecrated childhood home where he just killed his father #and then gave him some company. and then had that company gain his trust and sleep with him and then try to kill him During sex #and then he went insane! and killed a lot of people! #and then we fixed him by giving him a girlfriend :D #shut UP BRO SHUT UP #if you're gonna do all that. at least let him continue to be gay #not in a 'i don't believe he's bisexual' way but going 'yeah he has gay sex!' and then making the gay sex encounter end in gruesome murder #doesn't uh. doesn't really spell gay rights. can he have sex with a man in a way that ends with him not horribly traumatized #i don't like his relationship dynamic with that woman in the last season either but that's for different reasons. #i feel like he got steamrollered by her y'know :/ malewifed etc. etc. :/ #she was a fine character i just didn't like the two of them together #or how it was framed as like. y'know. alucard just needed to get bossed around. that'll give him purpose again. #hey what if. if he was gonna kiss someone about it. he did that with the people that he bonded with and trusts and knows. #just a thought. ANYWAY #valentine notes

[lloydfrontera]

the webtoon may have left out a lot of things but they did yassify the orcs which is the funniest thing to me right now

*sigh* they did yassify the orcs <3

now i want to see what they'll do with the sirens and whether i should be excited or worried lmao

#hey i got an ask #Anonymous #the greatest estate developer #tged #also. can we talk about the elephant on the room. #listen i may be totally be wrong about this and i would love to hear you guys' thoughts about this but. #doesn't it feel a little. weird. this thing the webtoon has about making muscular women look overly scary or rough? #like i feel it's gone under the radar because most of us just went 'oh hell yeah muscular women that shit rules let's go!' #but..... i think that wasn't... actually what the artists had in mind when they did. that. #like for example mellica. she's great i love her top tier character design. but look at her. and tell me the way they presented her #doesn't look like a set up for the audience to go 'oh super muscular woman is scary ha ha'. be honest. #now to be fair! all the elves look buff! like they actually look like people who train and fight and do archery constantly! they look great #so i can pass it off as a maybe a little clumsy attempt to give us more buff female characters it's fine whatever #but then we get to the lady ella bit. and uh. well. #how do say this.. it feels. mean-spirited? sorta?? a little mean?? #not even because i was really looking forward to this arc i'm a big girl i can swallow my disappointments like an adult and all that #but it feels like the joke there was 'ha ha man in a dress looks weird isn't that funny? ha ha men are attracted to him that's hilarious' #especially because they went out of their way to make javier look overly burly and buff while wearing the dress #i joked about it but doesn't it feel weird?? we know javier is a pretty guy he's muscular but he's also lean and almost... delicate looking #when wearing his normal clothes #he's a pretty guy! in the novel he could easily pass as girl with no issues! #and instead the webtoon decided to make him look so big and buff he was almost ripping the dress because of how burly he is? #like clearly the joke was 'this guy can't pass for a woman and it's funny that no one seems realize it and even think he's beautiful' #and they even went with the 'i respect your fetishes' joke which. oh boi. #so i'm worried about what kind of jokes they'll make when we get to the mermaids which are described as really big and muscular #even in the novel. in which there are some illustrations that i still haven't decided how much i like tbh #and maybe i'm exaggerating! maybe i'm being paranoid! maybe i'm making a big deal out of nothing and seeing mean jokes #out of a simple gag with no ill intentions behind it! #but i just. think it's weird. and not really all that funny. and i wanted to acknowledge it cause i felt uncomfortable not saying anything #so i'd like to know what you guys think. i think i need more perspectives on this before i say something dumb(er) lol

[maraeffect]

okay today was like the first time since surgery that i've been able to exist as a human outside my house!! and i had a great time even though i am PAYING FOR IT. HEAVILY 💀

#god my ribs are KILLING ME SLOWLY #anyway i had a good day 🥺🥺🥺 last night my partner and i woke up at the same time #bc we both had to pee. and i totally forgot but when we laid back down i told her ''i'm hungy..'' #bc it was like 3 am and i didnt wanna get up. so i just wanted to complain lol #but she woke me up to a big breakfast she ordered in like ''hey it made me sad that you were hungry jn the night- #so i got you and i a big breakfast 🥺👉👈💖'' and UGH it made my heart so happy #and then we chilled out before i decided i could handle leaving home and wanted to go to the mall #and i had a really good time existing in public!!! im getting a little depressed from being bed bound #i FINALLY got after laughter on vinyl after wanting it for like almost 5 years 😭😭😭 #and some cute stickers!!! anyway yeah i had a nice day w my baby and it made me happy 🥹💖 #as much as im hurting badly rn it was worth it for the lil date 💖💖💖 pain meds should help soon anyway #im just glad to have finally gotten out of the house #chatter #round 2 #also let me just say my previous thoracotomy did NOT prepare me for this one. #turns out the open version is VERY DIFFERENT. which i knew but god its so stark when youre living it #p sure by 2 weeks post op last time i was relatively fine!!!! almost back to normal #oh and uh #autumn

[kani-kui-inu]

amnesia can be great bc i can proofread my own writing bc ive mostly forgotten what i even wrote and its like i’m reading it for the first time. but then the issue is i also forget that i even wrote anything, period, so sometimes i come back to shit i wrote months ago like “oh shit this is fire. too bad i have no idea where i wanted to go with this! welp to the shredder” and i send it to the shadow realm (my google drive folder named HIATUS).

and then theres all the other problems with amnesia like the “i have no idea what you are talking about this is so awkward can you leave me alone” moments, the “why am i getting an email for an online order. i cannot remember ordering this thing. well alright looks like im getting a new shirt i guess” moments, the “god damn it i wasted another therapy appointment because i forgot about what has been plaguing me all week to the point of breakdowns the second i walked in but now i suddenly remember again so now im having a breakdown over being so frustrated along with a breakdown over the original issue” moments, etc etc

but those arent as funny (well, the shopping ones can be funny as long as how much was spent was very minimal), so i will just ignore them and eventually forget about them too (until they happen again)!

#system shenans #bitches be like ''i dont have amnesia. i remember things fine. i literally remember everything'' #and then cant recall most of the week when asked about it #(i am bitches) #i remember (haha) when i first told my one close friend that. uh. hey. uhm i may have DID/OSDD #and we were talking and they were like: #''yeah as your friend of several years.. you HAVE said some VERY concerning things about how much you cant remember of your life'' #and i was just like. 'wait what? really? i dont remember that..' #and then they made fun of me (affectionately) for trying to deny memory issues based on the fact i dont remember having them #it was all very funny

[haonqq]

My dad getting bit by a rattlesnake and him thinking his dumb ass is going to work tomorrow

#qqlife #waking up to a message from my brother like hey uh #he really was tryna be stubborn but jokes on him he has to stay under watch for 18 hours #head in my hands #from what i last heard he's fine just swelling and pain #did not expect the conflicted feelings regarding no contact and mortality to come up so soon hweh

[perenlop]

why is giving family members a small wishlist so much more tedious than it has to be

#me: hey heres my wishlist its in an email can you also forward it #them: yeah sure but uh you cant have anything thats not on amazon bc we dont know how to use other sites #me: wdym its the same process #them: well its more complicated oh my god we are older we dont understand #me: well ok. ill find alternatives where i can #them: wait can you just let us edit our own wishlist with what you want? #me:... why cant you use the one i sent? #them: BECAUSE it is too much ok pls just send a couple of things #(the list only has like 8 things and two are gift cards) #me: well. fine heres two things i really want #them: hm. are you sure you want that? it doesnt cost a lot #me: yes. i dont like asking for expensive things that arent games we have been over this. #them: well put something more expensive on there then we just feel bad getting you a cheap thing bc then we think youre worth less #me: .... ok heres one of those custom pokemon shirts just bc i think theyre neat #them: OH MY GOD THATS SO EXPENSIVE we are not wasting our money on that. #me: ... ok can i have the games then? #them: sure. god why are you so hard to buy for youre sooooo weird about gifts #for extra context: my brothers and cousins ask for over $100 worth of stuff and usually get all of it and more #and its not like im ungrateful either i never snap at them or anything. i usually ask for practical stuff or aesthetics like stickers #when its not books or games... but theyve gotten more passive aggressive lately i think #for my bday most ppl werent weird but my aunt made a big deal out of getting me a $20 sweater i couldnt wear #bc of the texture and size not working for me. and like loudly emphasizing ''OH GOD DONT LOOK AT THE PRIIIICE UGH IM SO MEAN'' #all the while im being polite and thanking her and shes just freaking out at me for ''being hard to buy for'' #and being ''forced to buy me something so gross and cheap'' like it felt like a weird power move #echoed voice

[astrxealis]

my dad just played a bit of Nothing Else Matters just now on guitar he's so cool

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #heyy i am shy with music with my dad ngl. he's the guy who really got me into music after all #on our trip like a couple of weeks ago tho? he now knows my top 3 favs are the 1975 and hozier and mcr ^___^ #today apparently his coworker was like hey anyone wna come with to mcr concert! and i got rlly excited and like damn but it was in aus so.. #and then mom asked if that was a kdrama LMFAOOO and then dad said no theyre emo band..... hes not wrong but i tried to say theyre punk rock #he said No They're Emo LMFAOOOOO i suppose he's not wrong. anyway #idk i really want to learn guitar uh it's good i have my dad who can possibly help out but id rather he not tbh! #+ also uhh we were walking around the other day talking about courses and he was like maybe music (for non-quota course but idk anymore lol #it's complicated) but he was like. music nah bcs you guys arent really musically inclined/talented (?) i forgor anyway a bit taken aback but #hes right unfortunately...? used to play piano as kids. doesnt feel like long ago but it was ages ago #and then i wanted a guitar and we got one but since then i've learned only like 2 chords and it's been over a year now i think. or almost. #idk anymore tbh! time crazy but anyway i will do my best fr. with everything. gah #i'll be honest i kinda really do want to pursue music actually but i'm terrified and confused? uhh complicated complicated complicated frfr #its an acoustic guitar btw. might have been easier if it were electric bcs damn its hard for me to place my fingers right #+ i think theyre cooler but not the point! if i do learn the guitar dad said we cld maybe buy an electric one or a bass so... ^___^ #anyway i think mom is warming up to cats and we might convince her more soon to. yk. allow us to adopt #not buy! i want to adopt. i love cats they deserve everything but i also really love dogs sobbing but moms scared so its fine #i forgot my other thought oh my god goodbye #oh. right! violin! lune likes the violin and considering we now know its our moms fav instrument we may convince her to let lune learn ?!

[waywardsalt]

the link to the past manga is decent. making agahnim more of his own character is good, making him a lot more interesting. ghanti is an ok addition, though the quick pace of link’s collection of pendants causes things to fall apart a little bit. the tower of hera is given one page. all of the dark world dungeons are pretty much skipped over save for snippets explaining the bosses. the dark world looks cool when you get to see it, but since its so shortened in the manga, you don’t get much. it’s a shame. this one starts off good and the stuff with agahnim and the art, but kind of slides down the slippery slope of streamlining the story just to make it fit.

#salty talks #bitching about the loz manga #also have not played alttp but this one was good too ig #i dont. care about ghanti? idk what purpose she serves being added aside from being a vaguely interesting character #shes not bad but. eh #i did not play alttp all the way. i don't really know what's missing. i can only guess based on my experience with albw #but the first half is good #and then the dark world segment is less than half the book #isnt the dark world segment pretty long? this is again based off my playing albw but like. arent there more dungeons? isnt it longer? #whatever. this one is fine it at least shouldve been two volumes #also the stuff with the flute (ocarina) kid was neat. #next one is ph and that one is uh. going to be different! i might go chapter-by-chapter and tear into it that way #until then (i might take some time before posting a ph manga review) if you wanna talk to me abt the loz manga feel free to send an ask #like if you want to talk about something i didnt mention in a post then hey! you can ask me abt it or tell me smth you like or dislike

[milkweedman]

I had another pain management setup appointment this morning, this time with a physical therapist, and she was asking me about my flare ups and everything and i came to the realizations that 1) theres always a bit of a leadup to the flare, where i'll have a couple days where i feel like shit and my joints feel hot and weak but its also nowhere near the pain levels of an actual flare up. And 2) i am in fact in a pre-flare up right now :/

All this to say that im warping another belt but im not trying backstrap again right now because i can already tell im going to feel like death tomorrow

#the two pain management specialists ive seen so far have been really great which makes me hopeful that ill actually. yknow. get treatment. #of course it could be that the actual medication prescribing doctor is an idiot and asshole in which case i am course screwed #you really never know #have my first appointment with him in a week though #but yeah yesterday was way too much. and it wasnt even that much by anyone else's standards #or at least my coworkers seemed fine. but it definitely jumpstarted a flare up #just always a bit strange to actually. awknowledge that im in pain and theres something wrong #and downright insane to have someone be like 'yeah dude thats not right lets see if we can fix it' #bc i was dealing w a lot of this joint shit as a kid too but if i said anything my parents would get furious about me #'trying to get out of school by faking sick' #didnt matter if the problem was that my feet hurt bc my shoes were always too small hand me downs (an easily fixable issue) #or if i had sprained my ankle for the 10th time that month because there is something fundamentally wrong with my joints #they would just completely refuse to listen or help in any way and usually punish me for asking #so.... the experience of having someone ask me about my pain. listen. believe me. and start talking about what we can try to ameliorate it #is uh. somewhat novel. and also a lot. #chronic illness #im also still expecting someone to be like 'hey so this program is actually for people who are REALLY in pain and you dont qualify #because youre not that bad' #but nobody has said that yet which on the one hand. yay treatment (hopefully) #but on the other hand. when im not actively in a flare up or going into one i am always at least 80% convinced that im making it all up #or that im blowing it out of proportion or something #which also serves to stop me from spiralling 24/7 into health anxiety ocd doom #so with that barrier temporarily removed bc a specialist was nice to me i am now free to spiral #which. i am #should probably just start weaving before i go insane etc

[statementlou]

Hi~ can I add something to your tag #Louis being so emotionally intelligent makes me jealous? Tbh, I'm in awe that Louis didn't not react about this like the fan touch him ever so gently and he isn't bothered by it at all, he's just "I'll let them have this" and that's it... I cannot fathom it at all

it wasn't me who tagged that! maybe someone else on my post? But in any case, I love the gentle patting so much, I love that Louis can put trust out there and have people rise to meet the occasion you know? I feel like he understands that when you indicate that you trust people, rather than acting like you expect them to fuck up, they will be motivated to live up to it, which makes sense cause it's such a dealing with kids skill and he's got those as we know. TBH there are a lot of ways I feel like he views and treats the fans as a big undifferentiated mob of younger sisters, and seeing him at barricade just reinforces it for me- I know people want to see it as a sexy thing, but I don't see Louis acting that way at all, I see him giggling like he's being mauled by puppies and just generally treating everyone the same indulgent way he does kids.

Anyway I think Louis loves getting into the crowd, gentle or otherwise (when he's sound enough to tolerate more vigorous contact), rather than it being a thing he allows us as a treat. I can't really imagine what it would feel like to be the focus of that kind of mass adoration, but based on experiences I do have I know the way being physically embraced by a crowd feeling extremes of joy and excitement and connection can be an unbelievable high. Being onstage and everyone loving you is too, I'm sure, but there's something about the physical contact- I don't think he does it for the fans at all, but for himself, and he's said so besides. That rush of communal joy and adrenalin, there's nothing like being physically in the middle of it and carried by it and I imagine being the focal point of it besides, the epicenter, is just amplified x100. He's said it's his favorite part of the show and I think he just really wanted to do it even if it was a watered down version or risked a little pain because he knew it was going to be ages til he could again and he wanted to!

#I'm so sick and bored but sliggghtly more with it than I have been all day if anyone has anything to ask me. please please do. #I get why you wouldn't want to though I feel like my answer to everyone is like uh huh actually I disagree sorry #for me personally I'd way rather be in a regular hectic fast paced barricade situation even if the touches were a little hard #than have a stranger slooooowwwly caress my face #but hey thats just me and louis seems fine with it and I feel like knowing all he has to do is lean away makes a big difference #anyway he's said the adrenalin of the moment means he doesnt really register the individual touches at the time #blah blah blah

[middle-name-queer]

What people don't seem to understand is that making a phone call can be hard so then when it doesn't yield anything, not only did it take energy to make the call in the first place, now one might feel stupid for the call being so unsuccessful. So one cannot simply "call back and-" you fail to realize, I don't want to.

#i failed at calling my doctor #i'm just easily confused by unfamiliar situations #i feel stupid :( #i guess what i wanted was to leave a message but i didn't immediately understand what kind of message to leave because i didn't understand #that i can just ask 'for her to call me back' i don't know why that's odd to me. my brain just. doesn't get that. #i don't know i may be stupid. #i have to call back and i feel sad and embarrassed #like 'hey actually i do want to leave a message i just didn't know that earlier' #i even said over the phone 'uh idk what kind of message i would leave...' and was met with awkward silence i must sound like such an idiot #i'm being a baby about this but i really think i might cry and take a short nap and then try again #i just wish i understood things more intuitively i wish it wasn't all so confusing and above my head #i wish other people could sympathize more with that like do i seem like i just popped into existence and crawled out from under a rock? #because yes. i did. and i am so stupid and the lights are so bright and my skin is so easily burned and bruised please be patient #and idk its dumb because i'm the only one who gets hung up on it anyway like even the more awkward situations i've been in i know logically #i'm the only one still carrying it like most everyone else is just gonna walk away like 'uh. bit odd.' but they move on and i just agonize #like who is that for what good does that do its fine its whatever so what i call twice cause i couldn't get it right the first time #ugh

[lfcrobbo]

worst part abt being a student is people constantly LEAVING to do OTHER THINGS

#:( #going to feel sorry for myself for just a couple of minutes and then get over myself so bear with me: #listen i'm NOT going to pretend like i dont have any friends bc i DO and i know that and i love them etc #but it also CONSTANTLY feels like. whenever i make new friends (like ACTUAL friends like Hey! You're my Friend! friends and not just #acquaintances) #it's always someone that SUDDENLY gets into school somewhere else or gets a job and LEAVES and i'm like. oh okay! bye then! #and like we're still FRIENDS but we're now just. friends who see each other maybe twice a year #and of course seeing them at all is LOVELY but sometimes it does feel like. all my friends are friends that i just see twice a year...... #like several of my friends have told me 'oh i appreciate your friendship so much bc it's so easy and natural even if it's been ages since #we've talked'' #and like YEAH that's nice but!!! not when EVERYONE says that???? #i dont know i dont KNOWWWW i'm just. emo rn? it's been a weird day anyways and literally JUST found out #that one of my friends (that i only really became friends with this year) is leaving town on SUNDAY? so yeah. uh. idk #idk it. triggered something i guess #:) im FINE im just. yeah #marth.txt

[blueberry-gills]

... hey, do you need anything?

[@starlightandspirits]

Oh! Uh. I don't think so..? Ah, please don't worry. The post about my sister was really just a joke! ,^_^ I don't think she's really mad at me. And. Um. If she is, then I guess the feeling's mutual?

I'm just. Not feeling well. I'll probably stay in my dorm tomorrow, frankly. Or Rye's. Uh! But! Thank you, Coppelia. You're far too kind :)

#i mean. um. sweets are always good but! only if you have extra >:/ i still have a lot leftover from that bakery order!! #and you really dont have to in the first place! uh really forget that first tag ^<^ #ask answering! #pokemon irl #pkmn irl #pokeblr #pokeblogging #rotomblr #//ah yes my favorite type of character dynamic- person a: hey man are you doing alright? #//person b: oh yeah im good im fine dont worry what makes you say that haha? (is about to break into tears)