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#‘I’m literally the only one in my family that treats her like a person’
binders-and-beanies · 4 months
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I am having. A very bad day
#car repairs taking multiple days and costing more than I’ll make this entire ‘break’#dad berating me for getting my car worked on at all + treating me like I’m stupid for taking it to the only place that would do it#when it’s literally my money out of my pocket#literally forced me to cancel one of the services to get it done somewhere else that will take longer#bc he sees every car issue as an opportunity to leave me without transportation bc he wants me isolated and dependent#complained to the people at this second repair shop about how stupid it was for me to get it done at the literal only reliable place here#complained the whole drive home about my mom being poor and a burden and basically asked me to tell her that#asked me to get her family to Also ask her to just decide to stop being poor#he also consistently lies about money knowing that I know he’s lying#bc I see his tax info I know how much he has. it’s hundreds of thousands#he complains that he has ‘literally no money’ after he has to spend his ~bonus~ on anything that’s not another international vacation#imagine having a fucking bonus. my entire last paycheck covered 10% of part 1/2 of my car repairs#I’m already upset about having to spontaneously pay $1000 + whatever this ‘cheaper’ place charges me. tomorrow if I’m VERY LUCKY#I don’t need him treating this like something I did to spite him. when I’m the one who paid#I don’t need him treating me like a bad person for needing a car repair#I don’t need him reminding me my mom may be literally left to die once he retires in a year#I’m having a bad enough day. I only rarely see him and this is how he acts when I do#and then he’s like why don’t I see you more#mine#txt#personal#+ he talked abt needing to have a ‘hard conversation’ w my mom and now I have to decide whether to tell her#whether to give her the heads up or let her not be more afraid than she already is. this should not be my responsibility
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milo-is-rambling · 11 months
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How do me and my mother manage to get into a fight every fucking day I want to dieeeeee how have we fought about bullshit and it’s not even ten in the morning like what the fuck I’m so fucking miserable and no one likes me they all make fun of me I need to move out or I’m going to fucking ruin my life !!!!! (Also why won’t my fucking period just start so I can get all of these emotions to stop bothering me!!!)
#literally been home for less than three days and every interaction with my mother has felt like a punch to the gut#today she was bitching to me about my brother leaving his hoodie and his hat on/around the couch he sits on and my mom was bitching about#how he leaves his shit everywhere and whatever else and I was like dude you gotta cut him some slack yknow like he’s been used to living in#a dorm and having a living space where he could be a person and my mom proceeded to be like ‘he doesn’t live here’ AND IM LIKE HE DOES NOW#HE GRADUATED AND MOVED BACK HOME AND YOURE TREATING HIM LIKE A CHILD HE IS DOING ONLINE COURSES AND LOOKING FOR JOBS AND YOU TREAT HIM LIKE#A CHILD#UGHHHH#my mother then proceeded to once again tell me off for being bossy and telling her what to do and I’m sitting here like maybe you should try#fucking listening to me then and treating my brother like a part of the family instead of like company#I know he’s in the guest room technically but he’s part of this fucking family and you and I both have side tables to put shit on its not#his fault that he put his jacket on the couch he has no where else to put it he’s gonna wear it again next time he comes out like what the#fuck why is she such a bitch and then she gets mad at me like idk what you want from me#I used to never get along with my brother and now I’m defending him to you and you act like he’s the worst person ever#like why do you hate your children so much why do you love him but you hate me I’m so sick of crying over mommy issues#but if my mother could just like me that would be incredible I really feel like everyone hates me constantly and no one wants me around and#I try to defend my brother and be nice and it only makes my mother hate me so I just go into my room bc I’ve tried over and over again to be#nice to my mother and apparently I’m doomed to just fucking hate her and have everything I say be an insult or some nit picky bullshit bc my#mouth won’t stop saying whatever my brain is thinking and I keep apologizing and then I keep saying shit it’s like I have the happiest two#few days after months of being alone and miserable and then I come home and immediately it’s like my mother just no longer likes me#I feel like I’m stuck in perpetual coming home from a sleepover mode#do you guys remebrr that? coming home from a sleepover after being happy and your family would instantly make fun of you for being happy or#excited or wanting to talk about the sleepover and then you’d cry and go into your room and feel like shit bc everyone hates you and then#you’d start to assume that everyone at the sleepiver thought the same thing as your family and thought you were annoying and interrupting#their lives by being happy I mean whatttt haha yeah did that happen to anyone else or just me 😭👍👍👍👍#life recently feels like it’s ​me being happy vs me realizing joy doesn’t last vs me needing to ruin my own joy so someone else doesn’t do i#first. I have very strong need to hurt myself before someone else can energy but all it does is make sure I get hurt twice cause someone’s#always gonna hurt my feelings and not care so I should be showing myself compassion but all I want to do is tear my skin apart#been so fucking depressed since I got home I’m fucking miserable and my family hates me I hate everything and I’m so stressed I hate this#anyways 😭😭😭😭 can’t stop crying recently after not crying for months now talking about anything makes me cry and I hate it#I’m embarassing myself constantly bc I can’t hold back from crying
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Can you make a Latina reader x Matt sturniolo smut? You can make it up how you want it
Lipstick- M. Sturniolo
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pairing: Thick!Latina!reader x Boyfriend!Matt
classification: fluff, smut
inspiration: request^^
translations: embedded within the story!
warnings: 18+, MDNI, literal sex, use of Spanish, Hispanic/ Latino culture mentioned, established relationship, slight cursing, traditional parents, mentions of alcohol, didn’t name any of the side characters, long
summary: Matt’s nervous to meet your family, but after making a good impression you treat him to a night full of kisses and lipstick stains.
Matt sits in the living room, nervous hands playing with the keys that hang from his belt loop. Your mother keeps him company, sitting on the sofa across from him as she asks him a plethora of personal and uncomfortable questions. Latina mothers are unashamed to prod into the personal life of others, especially when meeting their daughter’s boyfriend for the first time.
You’ve only been dating Matt for a couple of months, and although he seems like a nice kid, she’s not entirely sure she can trust your judgment just yet. The few boys you’ve brought home before haven’t always necessarily met her high standards. Matt hasn’t done anything to throw her off yet, but she’s sure she’ll find something to dislike. If he manages to stick around long enough, though, he’d surely grow on her.
“So what do you do for work?” your mom asks, momentarily looking up from her latest costura project to catch Matt’s anxious gaze. She expertly weaves the string in and out of the white lace, forming an intricate floral design in the process.
[translation: costura- sewing]
“Oh um… my brothers and I we make YouTube videos,” Matt doesn’t know where to look, he’s afraid to make eye contact but also afraid that if he doesn’t it’ll come off as disrespectful. He’s never been so nervous in his life, and from the look on your mother’s face he can tell that that’s probably not what she wanted to hear.
Your mother scoffs, obviously unimpressed with his answer. “Esta niña, siempre saliendo con los más huevones,” she turns her head towards the stairs. Matt’s been waiting for you to descend for over 30 minutes, and the awkward tension was even becoming too much for her.
[translation: “This girl, always going out with the laziest ones.”]
Matt coughs, taking a quick swig of the water bottle in front of him. He’s nervous, his hands are clammy and he has no idea what your mom just said. What was taking you so long?
“So is YouTube gonna pay the bills?” your mom was abrasive and she knew it, but she couldn’t help it. In her eyes, nobody was worthy enough of her babygirl. Matt remains silent, he doesn’t even know what to say, so she continues, “You know, when you two start having kids.”
The thought of having children at 20 years old terrifies Matt beyond belief, he can feel his hands getting clammier by the second. He understands that it’s a cultural dissonance, though, so he keeps his mouth shut. “We’re not planning on any kids soon, ma’am. We haven’t— Um, we haven’t really talked about it,” his voice trembles slightly, your mom was doing a good job of intimidating him.
Matt takes another swig of his water, his mouth was dry and he felt like his throat was closing up. “Oh, but you’re having sex with my daughter right?” the question is so unapologetically bold that it causes Matt to choke on the liquid, some of it managing to dribble down his chin.
“I’m sorry?” he chokes out, but he heard your mom loud and clear.
Finally, as if on queue, Matt hears footsteps coming down the steps. ‘Finally!’ he thinks, watching as your curvy figure rounds the staircase and enters the living room. Matt shoots up from his spot on the couch, his eyes immediately dancing over your entire body.
You’re wearing a fitted, black bodycon dress that reaches just above your knees. The spaghetti straps work to hold your bust in place, a gold necklace dangling delicately above the curves of your breasts. You push your freshly curled hair onto your shoulders, luscious locks framing your face perfectly. White lace-up sneakers adorn your feet, your ankle bracelet glimmering as you walk into the living room.
Matt can’t keep his eyes off of, every aspect of your being pulling him in and putting him in a trance. Your mom notices Matt’s inability to hide his attraction for you, “her eyes are up here!” His face goes beet red, eyes immediately darting up to your face.
You roll your eyes before sending Matt an apologetic smile, “Ya nos vamos, Ma.”
[translation: “We’re leaving, Ma.”]
“Bueno, mi niña. Pórtate bien,” she warns, bringing you in for a strong, warm embrace. Your mom’s change in behavior is so quick it gives Matt whiplash, but he can’t blame her for being standoffish with him. He understands that it’s her mother bear nature.
[translation: “Okay, babygirl. Be good.”]
You kiss your mom on the cheek, your red lipstick staining her face. You turn to Matt with a big, toothy smile sprawled onto your face. “You ready?” you ask, taking his hand in yours as you guide him outside. He nods and hums in response, squeezing your hand as he trails behind you in a lovesick daze. Your ass jiggles with each step and Matt wonders how he ever got so lucky.
“Sorry for taking so long,” you apologize once you’re in the car, getting situated in the passenger seat. “No problem. You look really beautiful,” he replies, starting the car and doing another once over on your body. You lean over the center console with puckered lips, “kiss?” He happily obliges, your red lipstick instantly transferring onto him. His pants are becoming tighter by the second and you notice it right away. Your relationship is still in its infancy, so even this has you blushing.
“Was my mom nice?”
“Mm yeah, some like that,” he replies with a chuckle, adjusting his pants and beginning the drive to your destination. You know he’s lying, but you’re grateful that he’s courteous enough to put up with your mom’s attitude.
“Just wait till you meet my dad and my siblings. They’re not as bad,” you say, the hum of the car engine and the low music in the background creating a calm atmosphere.
“Can’t wait,” he laughs, and although he’s nervous for when that day finally comes, he’s actually excited to become a constant presence in your life. It might be too early to say it, but he’s definitely falling in love with you, the tent in his pants making it obvious as ever.
A year has passed since that day and, as expected, your mom has warmed up to Matt. They aren’t super close yet, but she definitely sees him in a different light. She can tell that he truly cares for you and that what you two share is real, but the real test comes when Matt meets your dad.
Your dad works a lot, the manual labor taking a toll on his body that puts him to sleep as soon as he gets home. So, even if your dad is home when Matt’s around, he’s usually asleep or resting in his room.
Matt was nervous when he met your mom, but he’s TERRIFIED to meet your dad. There are so many factors to take into consideration; the language barrier, the cultural dissonance, the fact that he’s your literal dad! It doesn’t help that your siblings are gonna be there too, all of it makes Matt tremble with unease. But he’s been invited to your family’s cookout so he can no longer postpone it.
It’s a sunny Saturday afternoon. The weather is nice, it’s not too cold or too hot. It’s the perfect day for a cookout, and Matt should feel excited, but he doesn’t. Sweaty hands grip the steering wheel as he anxiously drives to your house. Chris and Nick are being dragged along as moral support, but unlike Matt, they’re not nervous.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have brought you guys. I don’t even think they know I’m a triplet,” Matt’s words are coming out a mile a minute as he places the car in park outside your house. The panic is starting to set, and from the looks of it they’re the first ones here. Usually being on time would make Matt proud, but this just means there will be less people to hide behind.
“Dude, it’s gonna be fine. Plus, maybe Y/n has a cute cousin or something and we can be like brother in laws,” Chris is only half-joking. “Gross,” Nick grimaces, hopping off the car and beginning the short walk to your front door. Chris laughs, copying Nick’s actions and following closely behind.
That just leaves Matt. He’s glued to the front seat, mind racing uncontrollably. If he’s going to do this, it needs to be quick and painless or he’ll just psych himself out. He takes one deep breath in and out, unbuckling himself with such fervor that the seatbelt slaps the door. Once he steps out of the car, he takes a second to anchor himself before jogging to catch up to his brothers, who are already ringing your doorbell.
Three minutes pass and no one has opened the door, so Nick rings the doorbell again. “Allí voy, allí voy!” a voice shouts from inside, the door swinging open aggressively to reveal your little sister.
[translation: “I’m going, I’m going!”]
“Oh it’s just you,” she deadpans, moving aside so they can walk in. She slams the door shut, pushing past the stunned trio until she’s at the foot of the stairs. “Y/n’s upstairs,” she says, waving towards the staircase haphazardly.
“Y/N! YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE HERE!” she shouts up the stairs, the loud outburst taking the triplets by surprise.
Your sister is a good 4 years younger and the complete opposite of you. She’s a thin tomboy, wearing an outfit so oversized that she’s drowning in fabric. Her style directly resembles Chris’s, chunky sneakers adorning her feet and a backwards hat resting atop her long, curly hair. A long gold chain that she stole from your older brother hangs from her neck, swaying back and forth as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other. Her makeup is nicely done and her glossy lips are resting in a smirk, she loved embarrassing you.
“Stop yelling, pendeja!” you shout back, head peering from your doorway. Your sister shoots you an unbothered shrug, turning on her heels and disappearing into the backyard. You descend the stairs, immediately hugging Matt and planting a fat kiss on his lips. Within seconds his lips are the same color as yours, your cherry lipgloss tasting all too familiar.
[translation: pendeja- dumbass (feminine)]
“You guys are early,” you chuckle, pulling away from Matt to greet the other two. “You can blame Matt for that,” Nick says, the four of you walking outside to the backyard patio. The setup is simple but nice, rows of foldable chairs and tables lining the grassy lawn. Coolers are up against the walls of the house, each one filled to the brim with soda, juice pouches, and alcohol.
As Matt is surveying the area, he sees your dad, or at least he thinks he does. A tall, muscular man is working the grill. His shiny, bald head reflects the sun and his tattoos are on full display past the sleeves of his ribbed cotton tank top.
Matt grabs your hand, pulling you back slightly, “Is that your dad?” His voice is hushed, afraid to be heard accidentally.
You follow his gaze, “What? No. That’s my brother.”
An audible sigh of relief escapes Matt, and you instantly clock it, “Don’t worry, babe. Everyone’s gonna love you.” The reassuring words momentarily calm his nerves.
Your older brother’s boisterous voice breaks the moment, “Y/n, go get the rest of the carne from the kitchen!” He’s pinching carne asada, elote, and cebolla off of the grill with long metal tongs, stacking it neatly on a metal tray.
[translation: carne- meat, carne asada- grilled meat, elote- corn, cebolla- onion]
Chris is the first to approach your brother, his friendly nature making it easy for him to talk to new people,“Dude, that smells good!”
Your brother is very kind, his scary appearance completely juxtaposing his hospitable personality. He’s wearing baggy jean shorts and black air forces with a matching gold chain and bracelet. The black sunglasses that rest on his face make him look unapproachable, but the warm smile he offers Nick and Chris makes up for it.
“I’ll be right back, okay?” you quickly peck Matt’s cheek, once again staining his face with your lipstick. Matt hums in response, joining the rest of the men around the grill.
“I feel like I’m seeing triple. I didn’t even know there was three of y’all,” your brother jokes, offering them each a firm handshake. Even though they’ve heard the joke millions of times before the triplets laugh.
“Yeah, we get that a lot,” Nick laughs.
“Bet you do. Which of you is dating my sister, though?” your brother asks, but he knows the answer; the red kiss on Matt’s cheek is a dead giveaway.
“That would be this lucky guy,” Nick replies, shaking Matt’s shoulders playfully. Matt’s cheeks burn a bright red and he can’t stop himself from smiling, he truly was lucky. “If the red lipstick on his face doesn’t tell you, then his smile surely will,” Chris chimes in, his finger smudging the makeup on Matt’s face.
Your brother laughs, “Yeah you might wanna wipe that off before el jefe gets back.”
[translation: el jefe- the boss (masculine, a nickname commonly used when referencing one’s father)]
“Oh shit,” Matt mutters, scrambling for a nearby napkin and rubbing it along his face feverishly.
An hour has passed and no one else has arrived yet, I guess the triplets didn’t get the memo that Hispanics are almost always fashionably late. Your brother is still working the grill, immersed in an entertaining conversation with Nick about God knows what. Chris, on the other hand, is playing soccer with your sister. He keeps either kicking the ball over the fence or missing it completely, his clumsy actions make your sister laugh uncontrollably.
You sit with Matt at one of the many tables, hands intertwined as you both anxiously await your parents arrival. “He should be back by now,” you mumble, a restless leg bouncing up and down. You knew Matt would make a good first impression on your dad, but you were still nervous.
It’s almost like you summoned him, the familiar sound of your dad’s pickup truck ringing in your ears as he pulls into the driveway. “Is that him?” Matt asks, grip tightening on your palms. “Yeah that’s him. Don’t be nervous, my dad is nice,” you reply, but you’re equally as anxious.
Your dad’s first words do nothing to help your case, you’re just glad Matt can’t understand them, “Vengan a ayudar, huevones!”
[translation: “Come help, lazies!”]
“Lemme go help, you stay here. Okay?”
“No, I’m coming with you.”
“Actually yeah, good idea.”
Matt follows you to the front yard, he’s so beyond nervous that his hands are practically dripping with sweat. Your dad senses Matt’s presence immediately, “Y este pinche güey que?”
[translation: “Who’s this fucking guy?”]
“Pa! No seas feo!” you exclaim, but your dad just rolls his eyes and silently instructs you to unload the truck. He bought more alcohol for the party, because when you’re Hispanic you can never have enough.
[translation: “Pa! Don’t be ugly!”]
“Es tu novio o que?” your dad asks, grunting as he picks up two cases of beer. He rests them on his shoulders with ease, he’s so strong that it intimidates Matt. “Yes, dad. He’s my boyfriend,” you reply, playfully rolling your eyes.
[translation: “Is he your boyfriend or what?”]
Your dad, much like your brother, is also bald. The greatest differences between the two men are the wrinkles that crease near your dad’s eyes when he smiles, his long bushy beard, and his protruding beer belly. “Nice to meet you,” your dad finally directs his attention towards Matt, offering him a genuine smile as his thick accent butchers the words.
“Nice to meet you too, sir,” Matt replies, picking up a case of alcohol as to make himself useful. Your dad can tell that Matt’s nervous, and even though he doesn’t like the idea of you dating, he decides to take it easy on him. He’s heard stories about Matt from your mom and by the way you look at him, your dad knows he’s the one.
As your dad enters the backyard, absolutely shocked to see Chris and Nick. Never in his life has he met a twin, let alone triplets, “Ay güey! Hay tres? No chingues, creo que me mareé.” Everyone, except for the triplets who have no idea what’s going on, laughs at your dad’s statement.
[translation: “Oh shit! There’s three? Fuck, I think I just got dizzy.”]
“I think he likes you,” you shrug, a sly smile playing on your face. Matt suddenly feels confident, all the nerves washing away.
As the hours pass, the party becomes less innocent as everyone becomes more and more inebriated. Matt’s chatting with some of your uncles and cousins, a cold beer resting in his hands. He’s been nursing the same bottle all night, only sipping from it occasionally.
You’re on the opposite end of the lawn, sitting at a table with your chismosa cousin. “Your man is so handsome, prima. If you find another one like that, send him my way.”
[translation: chismosa- gossiper (feminine), prima- cousin (feminine)]
“He does have a brother,” you joke, eyes still trained on Matt. You needed to get him alone in the house, away from prying eyes.
You could think of so many actual reasons you needed him right now, though. First, he was being such a gentleman with your family. He introduced himself and made small talk despite the evident language barrier. Secondly, when you served him a plate, he finished it faster than you’ve ever seen him eat anything. Then, when he got up for seconds, he moaned as the delicious flavors melted in his mouth.
Everyone loved him, and for whatever reason that turned you on. The longer you looked at him, the wetter you became. You’re clenching your thighs together, the sheer thought of him making you squirm. Before you know it, you’re excusing yourself from your cousin and walking up to Matt with a random excuse as to why you need him inside.
“Hey is everything okay?” Matt whispers, hands resting on your hips. His head is crooked down towards you, lips capturing yours briefly before resting his forehead against yours. “Yeah, just missed you,” your breathy words fan his lips as you place a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth and travel them down his neck.
Although he welcomes the feeling, you’re both standing in the kitchen and if anyone were to walk in they’d catch the intimate moment. That’s the last thing he wanted, especially not after making a good first impression, “not here, baby.”
You pout, completely retracting yourself from Matt, “okay.”
“No, wait. I said not here,” he pulls you back in as he looks around the house in search of another secluded area, not wanting to completely abandon your touch.
“Then where?” your voice is sultry and inviting.
“Outside?” it’s the first thing that comes to Matt’s mind, and the suggestion breaks you from the mood.
“Outside, Matt? Really? Like what, like a dog?” you have a dumbfounded look on your face, almost like you can’t believe he even suggested it.
“No, like, in my car,” he dangles the keys in front of your face before pulling you back in for a heated kiss.
The kiss seems to convince you because he’s successfully leading you to his car. The street is dark, only illuminated by a few street lamps, but you find it with ease.
You fumble into the backseat, Matt following behind you giddily. “We have to be quick, okay?” you whisper, pulling Matt in for another kiss by the collar.
“You know I like taking my time with my girl,” you can hear the smirk in his voice, a playful scoff falling from your lips. You scoot further into the back seat, making room for Matt as he situates himself between your legs.
“Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?” he brushes a stray curl away from your face, a gentle hand caressing your cheek. “Hmm yes, but I could hear it again,” you turn your face, kissing his palm.
“You look beautiful today,” he murmurs, leaning in for a kiss. You mould into each other, your lips fitting perfectly against his. Matt grinds himself down on you, momentarily breaking from you long enough for you to feather kisses along his neck.
With each kiss comes an affirmation, “I’m. So. Proud. Of. You.” It’s too dark to see, but you’re leaving lipstick marks all over him. The praises send blood rushing to his dick as you continue, “You did so good, papi. Just like I knew you would.”
[translation: papi- daddy (bear with me ppl)]
“Yeah? How good?” he eggs you on, relishing in all your sweet words. His hands push your dress up, the fabric scrunching up around your hips to reveal the red lace panties you wore underneath. Matt swears he’s in heaven.
“You did perfect…” your words trail off as you watch Matt remove your underwear in a daze. “How about you show me how good I did?” he grabs your waist, flipping you both over so you’re on top. You let out an excited squeal, your bare cunt coming in contact with his rough denim jeans. His dick is straining against the fabric, begging for release.
You grind onto his clothed penis, one hand resting on his chest as the other pushes your hair out of your face. Matt’s hands instinctively find your hips, a firm grip guiding your swiveling motions.
“Tell me how you want me, baby.”
“Ride me?”
As soon as he says it, you’re wiggling down onto his thighs and unbuckling his pants. Your fingers dance along his erection, teasingly tracing it. Matt bites his lip at the sight, “Please don’t tease.”
“So polite,” you giggle, finally tugging his pants down. His dick slaps against his stomach, the swollen tip already dripping with precum. Your thumb runs across the tip, spreading the lubrication along his shaft.
Matt’s a whimpering mess, propped onto his elbows to get a better view of you. When his hips subconsciously buck into your hand you decide to stop teasing and situate yourself above his crotch, dragging his penis along your wet folds before positioning it right at your entrance.
You’re going so slow, too slow, so Matt decides to take matters into his own hands. He grabs handfuls of your ass, pushing you down onto his dick with force. “Matt!” you gasp, the delicious stretch sending you into overdrive.
He doesn’t respond, instead he pushes and pulls your hips so that you’re bouncing on his cock. Your breasts are jiggling rhythmically, threatening to spill out of your dress. Animalistic grunts fill the car as Matt watches your pussy wrap around him, his jaw is slack and his eyebrows are furrowed in pleasure. Your soft whimpers and moans motivate him to keep going.
“You like that?” The car is rocking with the intensity of your movements, windows becoming foggier and foggier with each breathy moan that escapes your lips.
“Yes!” your voice is high pitched and squeaky, the pleasure choking you up. “Use your words, pretty girl,” he grunts, feeling the familiar wave of pleasure approaching.
“It’s so good, papi. So, so, so good,” you babble, struggling to formulate coherent sentences. Your pussy is fluttering around him, the sensation bringing Matt closer to his breaking point.
“Fuck! I’m gonna cum,” he whimpers, large hands squeezing the skin around your hips so hard that it was sure to bruise. You place loving kisses all over his face, especially on his cheeks and the corners of his mouth.
“I love you,” you moan, chanting his name again and again right after. He’s thrusting up into you feverishly, his pace faltering slightly as you both near your climax. “I love you too, princess. So much,” his voice is strained, strong arms wrapping around your waist and holding you in place as he shoots his warm load into you. His affirmations send you into a state of euphoria as your orgasm washes over you.
He’s peppering kissing all over your chest, whimpers escaping his lips as he comes down from his high. You delicately push his hair off of his sweaty forehead, admiring him as he continues his gentle attack on your chest.
“We should probably get back, babe. They’ll be wondering where we are,” you whisper, but he doesn’t want to let go. He wants to stay like this with you forever.
“Let me enjoy this a little longer,” he murmurs, hooded eyes finally looking up at you. Your lipstick is smudged all over your mouth. “Aww baby, your lipstick is all messed up. You look so cute,” he laughs, attempting to wipe some it off but failing.
He shifts slightly, the streetlights briefly managing to illuminate his handsome face. Your kiss marks are all over, a clear visual representation of how much you love him.
“You’re wearing more of it than I am,” you joke, earning yourself a playful slap on the ass.
MASTERLIST
A/n: clearly I couldn’t just write a smut right? Lmaoooo idk I had all the characters in my brain & it couldn’t just be smut 😭 hope u enjoy
This is so different from anything I’ve written before so lmk how yall like it & if you enjoy having Spanish in stories w/ the translations in the story💃🏻 also don’t kill me for using papi, i’d gladly call my man papi any day 😋
-L.A.M.B👼🏻💗
taglist: @nicksmainbitch @sturniololovers @mayhem-72 @worldlxvlys @gnxosblog @meg-sturniolo @creamoncreamoncream2 @mattnchrisworld @sanyi5 @lustfulslxt @whicked-hazlatwhore @tworosesblackthorn @mxqdii @fawned01 @junnniiieee07 @sturniolololover @missriddle03
note: if you want to be tagged in my fanfic related posts, you can access my TAGLIST and comment 💐
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leilakisakabiri · 9 months
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Can I request something with Gavi being barely even home resulting to reader feeling lonely and empty? A fluffy ending please! Gracias a todos!
You're Losing Me (Gavi)
Summary: You and Gavi's relationship is slowly falling apart - and neither of you know how to save it.
Warnings: Angst. Toxic behavior. 
A/N: This request literally revived me so thank you. I’m so excited to write angst hopefully you like it! Also thank you guys for 1k notes on Surprise, here’s my gift to you. Please send requests!
Word count: 6.8k+
Masterlist
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It was the fourth Tuesday in a row that you ate alone in your apartment. The fourth time Gavi had skipped out on your plans last minute, sending a quick half-hearted text about one event or the other.
The first time it was because Coach had asked Gavi to stay after practice, keen on teaching him the perfect one-touch shot. Then it was a missed dinner because Jordi Alba had invited him out with some other players, and he just couldn’t say no, because he was finally starting to feel like a part of the family - like the older players had finally started to respect him.
Of course you hadn’t minded the first few times, he had been apologetic enough, promising you that he would be there next time, but each next time took on the next week, and soon the prospect of next time didn’t hold as much meaning anymore. You were accustomed to reading those words by now, and you rarely took time to read over the dwindling text messages anymore, eyes only scanning for those two words, the ones that had become a staple in your relationship.
Next time.
Next time you would cook dinner for him and he would be there to eat it. Next time he would tell you he loved you in person, rather than getting an impassive ‘sorry cariño’. The thought of next time, which once seemed like a lifeline to you, had become a dull reminder of the boy who was just on the other side of the city, only a measly train ride separating you both. Yet the distance seemed much greater.
But now the football season was drawing to a close, and instead of being excited at the notion of having more time to spend together, you felt uneasy and on edge, almost as if you were waiting for the other shoe to drop, something to come up, making the distance between the two of you that much more tangible.  
You felt your phone buzz next to you and your eyes unintentionally went to the clock.
9:45 pm.
The texts were getting later and later each time.
You already knew what awaited you, but you couldn’t help but scan the message regardless.
“Can’t come tonight, only have a few days till the season ends and the guys wanna make the most of it. Be there next time. Noche.”
There it was again, that unexplainable feeling in your chest, like your heart was always one step ahead of your brain, preparing for the loss of something that hadn’t yet left. Your mind was an incomprehensible mess, a jumble of contrasting thoughts and memories, forcing you to overthink situations and undervalue your emotions.  
You lifted your head watching your roommate land with a thump on the couch beside you, “He canceled again, didn’t he?”
You opened your mouth, an excuse on the tip of your tongue.
She held up her hand, “Don’t try to defend him. He knows it isn’t fair.”
You avoided her gaze, “You don’t get it. He’s really in demand and-”
“It doesn’t matter that he’s famous or a professional athlete, that doesn’t discredit his actions, or put the blame on anyone but him.”
She continued, “Look Gavi’s a good guy, I like him,” you stared at her, “I do! But he’s stupid if he doesn’t realize that he’s losing you. I know you, and while you might make excuses for him now, I know that sooner or later you’re going to notice that he hasn’t been treating you like you deserve, and you’ll be smart enough to leave.”
You felt the impact of her words full force, like a sledgehammer beating into your body. All the signs were there, right in front of your face, and you had been turning a blind eye, not wanting to admit what your heart already knew.
You knew it. The distance you had felt hadn’t been in vain – every day you could feel the connection between the two of you chip away, so small, you wouldn’t think to notice it till you stood back and looked at the bigger picture.
As a result of both your busy schedules, you both had come up with the idea of having Tuesday night, the most boring day of the week as agreed on, reserved for just the two of you. On Tuesday you didn’t have classes that ran well past dinner time or have to pick up late-night shifts at the restaurant, and he didn’t have evening practice. It was perfect. Tuesday was yours.
Except it had been four weeks since you’d had a proper conversation with Gavi, and you couldn’t help but see the difference in your relationship when you first got together, both eager and determined to spend as much time together as possible, to now, where even if you attended his games, you two still managed to get away without speaking.
You shook your head, “I-I need to take a walk.”
She reached over placing a hand on your shoulder, “Y/n. I’m sorry-”
You shook it off, standing up, “No it’s ok, it’s not your fault. I just need to clear my head.”
You felt the cool night breeze hit you as you walked the streets of Barcelona. It was unusually quiet in this part of town, the lights from the main strip didn’t reach this far out, and for a moment the quiet reminded you of your hometown.
If you closed your eyes, it was almost like you were fifteen again, back in your childhood bedroom, before the ideas of pretty boys with big brown eyes and the weight of managing both university and a job plagued all your thoughts.
You reached a lookout point, the top of the hill dropping to show you the expansive city below. You stared out, the buildings looked so small up here, barely more than a glowing dot in the dark, the cars a blur of soft yellow. You wondered which tiny dot Gavi was in. You wondered if he had checked his phone, seeing that you hadn’t texted him back like you usually did. You wondered if he even cared.
You shook your head trying to get rid of the unwanted thoughts.
Your relationship with Gavi was good. He made you laugh like nobody else, whispering secrets in each other’s ears like schoolchildren, making forts out of old sheets in his childhood bedroom when you met his family for the first time. You remembered his sweet smile, the way his eyes would crinkle unintentionally when he couldn’t hold back his excitement or happiness. You remembered confiding in him about school, how you were so stressed because you couldn’t manage eighteen credits while simultaneously holding a job that required you to be on your feet for hours at a time. You could still feel the soft caress of his hand, as he squeezed yours, providing you comfort, cracking a badly executed joke here and there just to get you to smile while listing a hundred reasons why if anyone could do it, it would be you.
So, if he made you feel all those things, why did his absence make you feel so tiny, so insignificant?
Your finger hovered over the call button, and you hit it hesitantly.
You just wanted to hear his voice.
That would be enough.
It rang seven times before the line went dead.
It took you a moment to realize you hadn’t put your phone up to your ear, waiting with bated breath for the timer on the screen to start, indicating he had picked up, but it never did.
You stuffed your phone back into your pocket, the same unsteady feeling in your heart strumming.
Once.
Twice. 
Then it was gone.
You came home to a quiet apartment and your roommate already asleep.
You shuffled into your room silently, you would give it one more week you decided. Next time would be the last.
The next week came, and while it was the first week Gavi had off from training, he had already planned to go to Ibiza to attend a music festival with his hometown friends. He had invited you, but it was more of an afterthought, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to go because of rushed ‘you can come if you want’ and a barely there apology so you left it.
You got an ‘I’ll miss you’ text from him and for a moment it made you smile, filling you with warmth. However, an ‘I miss you’ only did so much, and other than his sweet messages, there was really no intent behind his words.
Now it had been two days since Gavi had gotten back from his Ibiza trip, and you couldn’t hide the surprise on your face when you glanced over and saw a Facetime call from Gavi.
When was the last time the two of you had Facetimed? Maybe two months ago? It was much easier to send a text, the times both of you were free were few and far between.
You answered the call, pushing your textbook to the side. The dark grey interior of Gavi’s car greeted you.
“Hello?” You asked.
“Hey, Y/n long time no talk.” Gavi joked, but you felt your stomach flip at the truth behind his words.
“I can’t see you.” You said.
“Oh shit, did I accidentally Facetime? My bad I told Siri to call and she must have Facetimed instead. Let me call you.”
You went to speak but heard the three beeps indicating the call had been cut.
You heard the phone ring again and bit back a sigh. You just wanted to see his face.
You answered on the second ring.
“Hey sorry about that. I wanted to call and tell you that I’m back from Ibiza.”
“Yeah, I know.” You admitted, “I remembered.”
There was a beat of silence.
“Well, anyways I wanted to ask you to come with me to the Spanish football gala tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
You heard some shuffling and suddenly Gavi’s voice was much clearer and closer to the phone. You assumed he took it off speaker.
“Can you not come?”
You hesitated, “Uhm I’m not sure. It’s so last minute and I’m already scheduled at the restaurant tomorrow.”
“Can’t you just take off?” He persisted.
You felt your brow furrow, “I’m already on the schedule, I can’t just decide to take off the day before, I need to find someone to replace me.”
“Ok, tell whoever that I’ll sign a jersey for them if they do.”
You suddenly felt angry. Why did he think that you could only get a day off work if he helped you out? Were you not capable of handling your own situations? You hated feeling like this, like you weren’t even your own person, just a shadow of who you were with.
“No that’s fine. I’ll just take off like you said, simple.” You couldn’t help but let the bitterness seep into your voice.
He went to say something, probably sensing the shift in your mood, but you cut him off, “I have to go. Bye Gavi.”
You hung up before he could respond.
Finding someone to replace your shift was easier said than done, but after some back and forth, and a promise to Marcus to cover his next two shifts, you were free.
Free to prance around in a hall filled with people you barely knew, with a boy who you thought about more in your memories than you saw in real life.
The night of the gala arrived, and you were decked out, wearing the earrings Gavi had gifted you for your one-year anniversary paired with a necklace you had received after graduating high school.
Gavi had originally said he would pick you up but had sent a quick text earlier in the morning explaining that the team was getting ready together at a hotel, and to just meet him at the venue.
Your roommate had agreed to drive you and you gave her a grateful smile as you got in the car.
“Ana thank you for taking me.”
She brushed the comment off playfully, “No problem. Gotta step up when Gavi steps down.”
You let out a short laugh, “My hero.”
You got to the venue a couple of minutes before you had planned to meet Gavi and nervously walked around, staying out of the path of cameras.
You found someone to take you to a tent where some Barca staff were waiting for the players to start the program.
You walked in, a surprised look taking over your face once you noticed Pedri and a few other players in the corner.
You weren’t aware that some of the players from the hotel had arrived yet.
Pedri noticed your entrance and came over to say hello.
You gave him a quick hug, making casual small talk.
Just ask him, a voice in the back of your head urged.
Finally, you bit the bullet, attempting to sound as casual as possible, “How did you guys get here so early? I thought everyone was leaving the hotel at 6.”
“Ehh, it wasn’t that important, so I skipped it. Half the guys didn’t go anyway, and the other half just went to play FIFA. Besides I beat them every time, so it gets a little boring after a while.”
You tried to laugh at his joke, but could only manage a watery smile, mind running a mile a minute.
So Gavi hadn’t actually needed to go but chose to.
Leaving you alone.
Again.
It wasn’t a big deal by itself. But it was the fact that this was just another item you could add to your ever-growing list of things Gavi cared about more than you. You wondered briefly if you had been wrong, and if he had missed some other event to be there with you, only to remind yourself that you hadn’t seen him in a month, so no, he hadn’t.
You were still grappling with your emotions when Gavi arrived, unsure whether to confront him or just let this be another thing you swept under the rug.
Your reunion, if you could even call it that, was lackluster at best. He had walked in with some of his teammates, immediately going to greet the rest of his team, completely ignoring you standing on the right side of the room with Pedri.
It was only once he asked where Pedri was that someone pointed the two of you out.
You felt your body deflate; he hadn’t even asked for you.
Were you overthinking things again? Maybe he had just forgotten in the excitement of seeing his whole team for the first time after the season ended?
Gavi made his way over to the two of you, reaching out to Pedri first. You watched as they exchanged a hug before Gavi’s eyes floated over to yours.
“Hey.” His voice was casual, like he was greeting a mailman, or thanking the cashier.
“Hi.”
You closed the space, attempting to hug him, but he grabbed your shoulders stopping you, looking down.
You followed his gaze.
“I don’t want to wrinkle the dress.”
You felt your heart thud against your chest, and while you knew he only had good intentions, the rejection still stung.
You stepped out of his embrace, watching his hands drop to his sides, “Okay.”
The carpet went by in a blur, you posed with Gavi for a few photos before moving to the side and letting him enjoy the spotlight, he had worked hard for it. You took a couple of photos with some of the other teammate's girlfriends and wives before you headed inside.
Once inside, there was still some time left before the actual dinner portion of the gala started. The gala was held for all Spanish football clubs as a celebration of their hard work during the season. It was also a great event to network, giving players the ability to talk with different coaches and directors they otherwise might not have gotten the chance to, allowing for discussions of thinly veiled preseason transfers to commence without the fear of unwanted ears listening in.
You found Gavi in the crowd quickly, linking your arm with his. He looked over at you, a smile taking over his features once he noticed you.
“Glad you found me.”
You noticed with great relief that his eyes still crinkled in the corners when he looked at you,
“I always do.”
The next however many minutes spent till dinner service started comprised of Gavi talking with various different players and directors as you stood like a shiny accessory off his arm, too insignificant to be acknowledged in conversation.
The call for dinner provided you solace from the repetitive conversations and mundane questions. You took a seat next to Gavi and were confused to find both Joao Felix and Antoine Griezmann seated at your table.
You leaned into Gavi, “I thought the clubs sat together?”
“Me too. I think they’re doing alphabetical tonight though.” He whispered.
“Which one’s your least favorite?” You looked up shocked at Gavi’s question, watching a boyish grin take over his features as he tried to hide his laugh, interlacing your fingers on your lap.
You shoved into him lightly, “They’re sitting right there!”
He leaned in closer, nose softly grazing your ear as he spoke, “Yeah but between me and you, I think Joao could have had a better season in Chelsea.”
You shook your head in disbelief, fighting back the smile that was threatening to spill out. Your eyes caught his and for a second it seemed like you had been transported back in time, back to when these types of moments were the standard not the exception, back when it felt like you were on each other sides, back when laughter was the antidote instead of tense silences filled with awkward hello’s.
His eyebrow lifted ask if to ask if you agreed with him, and a small murmur of agreement from you was all he needed before he opened his mouth, ready to hammer his point home, but his attention switched last second.
It was like you could visibly see the shift in his demeanor. First, it was his eyes glancing past yours, seeing the midfielder approaching. Then it was the subtle grip on your hand loosening, his fingers slipping through the gaps. Next, it was the complete shift in body, his posture straightening as he leaned his body away from yours, position shifting to face Pedri who had sat in the spot next to him.
To his credit, Pedri acknowledged the both of you but it was clear Gavi paid no mind to you, not evening sparing you a glance as he became immersed in a conversation with Pedri.
You tried to pretend it didn’t affect you and while you could lie to everyone else, you couldn’t lie to yourself. You had built up this evening up so much in your head, telling yourself that tonight would be the shifting point in your relationship and that everything would go back to the way it once was, but it was shaping up to be another Tuesday you had become all too familiar with.
Why did it feel like you were always competing for his attention?
Your mind was reeling, all the small actions Gavi did that you kept pushing aside, were floating back to the surface, each little remark or dismissal a little tug on your heartstrings till you were sure that if you stayed at the table a for a moment longer you wouldn’t be able to stop the onslaught of tears quickly approaching.
You stood from the table abruptly, catching a few people’s attention, but you gave them a polite smile, or at least you hoped it had been polite, you couldn’t focus on anything but the stinging in your eyes and the sinking feeling in your stomach.
You swiftly walked towards the restroom, glancing over your shoulder to see if anyone had noticed but your eyes fell on Gavi’s form. He hadn’t even bothered turning around.
Of course, he hadn’t. 
Somehow that hurt more than anything else.
You were immensely grateful for the single-use restroom as you locked yourself in, shaky hands coming to steady yourself on the sink.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
You were internally screaming at yourself, begging yourself to keep yourself together but the feeling was too overwhelming and before you could stop you felt the first tears slip down. Your shoulders shook as you forced yourself to be silent, embarrassed about someone walking by and overhearing you pitying yourself.
One hand covered your mouth as you muffled your sobs, while the other dug into the stupid marble sink until the skin was pink and indented. The pain acted as a distraction from the unbearable pressure in your chest, and you instinctively pushed your hand harder into the sink.
Your fingers felt numb as you slowly removed them, closing your eyes to steady yourself. It was obvious that you weren’t in the best mental state, but you couldn’t exactly sit in the bathroom for the next hour to sort it out. You had to clean yourself up and go back to pretending.
Yes, pretending, you realized, was exactly what you had been doing. This whole night you had been pretending, pretending everything was okay, pretending that your relationship was fine when in truth you couldn’t even remember what Gavi’s laugh sounded like.
When had it become all pretend?
Was there anything left here? Were your best years behind you both?
These unanswered questions haunted you as you calmed yourself down, wrapping around you like a blanket, one that provided you no comfort but rather a feeling of suffocation.
Finally, your eyes had dried, and the redness had faded significantly. You had gotten your breathing under control, and you felt a little lighter having stopped denying what had been plaguing your mind for weeks now.
You took one final glance in the mirror, smoothing out your dress as you exited the restroom.
You walked slowly back to the table. You had decided that if you could just get through tonight, go home, and cry and think some more, then by tomorrow morning you would be able to talk to Gavi and decide what to do.
But that plan had flown out the window when you arrived back at the table to a confused Gavi.
It seemed he had finally noticed your absence.
“Where did you go? They served dinner 15 minutes ago.”
“I had to use the restroom.”
“For 15 minutes?”
“There was a queue.” You lied.
He seemed to accept your answer and you chose to focus on your food rather than him.
You were halfway through your meal when you noticed Gavi giving you a double take from the corner of your eye.
“Your eyes are red.” He spoke in a hushed voice.
“I don’t know why.”
“Are you sure?” His attention was beginning to slip again, eyes darting back between you and Pedri.
“Yes, I’m fine.” You heard your voice waver on the last syllable, a tick you had when you were lying, and Gavi immediately picked up on it, facing you fully.
“What’s wrong?”
You shook your head not wanting to get into everything here.
“I’m ok.”
“You’re not.”
“Gavi.” You warned.
“What happened? Did someone say something?”
“No. Just drop it please.” Your voice had gone soft, tired of defending yourself.
“Y/n just tell me, I’ll help.” He urged.
You stayed quiet.
“What’s wrong?” He asked again, adamant to get an answer.
You felt yourself grow annoyed, why couldn’t he just let it go? Why was he suddenly interested in how you felt? You were just trying to protect what little left the two of you had and he seemed intent on destroying it.
“It’s you.”
He looked taken aback, eyes pooling with hurt and confusion, his body slightly deflating, “W-what?”
The moment was interrupted when the announcer took over the stage, beginning the presentation for the night, highlighting a few key players and matches.
You looked away first, turning to face the stage, clapping along, acting as though you couldn’t feel Gavi’s gaze burning into your back as he desperately tried to get your attention.
Once the presentation was over you were quick to excuse yourself, using the pretense of going to get a drink as a getaway.
You held your breath as you walked, praying Gavi wouldn’t follow you, and while he got up immediately once he noticed, he was quickly interrupted by another player coming to congratulate him, allowing you to slip away while he watched helplessly.
You let out a huff, leaning against the bar trying to slow your heartbeat.
“Long day?”
You looked over to see Joao standing next to you, watching as the bartender poured his drink.
“Something like that.”
He nodded, “Me too. Been a long couple of days actually.”
You smiled, “Actually, it’s been a long couple of weeks.”
He turned his head to look at you, “I take it back. It’s actually been a long couple of months.”
You raised your hand in mock surrender, “Ok I can’t beat that.”
He grinned, “Yeah not many people can.”
Your expression matched his own, and you gave your order to the bartender before turning to face him again, “So how’s the season been?”
“Shit. Honestly, I’m not even sure why I’m here I played for Chelsea this season not Athletico.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at his abruptness.
“Yeah, I saw your first game. A red card first match is pretty brutal.”
His grin only widened, “Oh keeping tabs are we?”
You gave him a playful glare, “Of course gotta know how Barca’s competition is doing.”
“Oh, so you’re a Barca girl?”
“Since the day I was born.” You revealed proudly.
And it was true, even before you had met Gavi, you had loved Barcelona. Growing up in a family of football lovers, your family had declared FC Barcelona as their home club, and you had witnessed so many legends play for Barcelona and so many underdogs find their true passion at the club.
“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked, and you gave him a nod of encouragement, pretending to zip your lips shut making him smile, “Ok well it’s always been my dream to play for Barcelona. Messi was always an idol to me.” He confessed.
Your mouth dropped open in shock before you abruptly shut it, your eyes almost widening comically as you spoke excitedly, “What oh my gosh. I’m in shock. Messi? But you play with Ronaldo!” You gasped.
He laughed at your facial expression, as he whispered, “I know! That’s why it’s a secret.”
You nodded along with his words, sending him a duh expression, “Of course, I won’t say anything I promise.”
“Promise what?”
Gavi had appeared by your side, a firm hand set on your waist, as he gently tugged you back into his body.
You peeked up at Gavi to see he was already looking down at you, jaw set. You gulped.
“Nothing much, just talking about the season.” You replied.
You saw Gavi’s eyes flicker between the two of you before he brought you closer, “Can we please talk?”
You bit your lip unsure but nodded.
He slipped his hand into yours as he led you to a quieter area. You waved goodbye to Joao as Gavi pulled you through the crowd, and he held his drink up in response.
He was a nice guy. You hoped next season would be better for him than the last.
He guided you to a standing table and propped your hands on the table as he played with the ring on your index finger.
“This a really pretty ring, is it new?” He asked eyes focused on your fingers.
“No, I got it last month.”
“I haven’t seen you wear it.”
“I’ve worn it every day since I got it.”
“Oh.”
You gently removed your hand from his, knowing that talking circles about something so small was going to get you nowhere.
“What do you want Gavi?” You asked quietly.
His voice came out gravelly, “I want to know how I let it get to the point where you feel more comfortable calling me Gavi rather than Pablo.”
His words when straight to your heart, and you could feel his pain almost as much as you could feel your own.
“I-I don’t know.”
You heard his breath falter, “I miss you calling me Pablo. Hell – I even miss you calling me Pablito. I’d take anything over whatever this is.” He gestured pointing between the two of you.
“Ok then let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about where it went wrong.”
His eyes lifted at your words, “Why are you speaking in the past tense?”
You remained silent.
“Amor please, why are you speaking in past tense?” You could hear the panic building in his voice.
“I think we don’t spend enough time together.”
“Ok we can fix that. No problem.” He agreed, desperate to save what was slowly unraveling.
“But do you want to? Fix it I mean?”
“Of course, I do. Please just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” His voice was almost near begging, and you knew without a doubt that you were in a similar state.
You couldn’t believe that this was happening here, in front of all these people, but it wasn’t fair to either of you to hold it any longer. You had to have this conversation sooner or later and it seemed like tonight was the time for it.
“Sometimes I feel like you don’t have time for me.” You finally admitted what you had been feeling for the last month.
He shook his head rapidly, “I do! But I mean we both have such busy schedules, you have even less time than I do with school.” he argued, “You also have work so that cuts down on the time we have too, but I’m not complaining.”
You were trembling with anger as you spoke, but you kept your voice low, “Yes, because I have to work a job to be able to afford college. I hate the hours probably more than you do, but I do it because I have to. I don’t have an option. I want to go to school? I have to fund it. But you? You didn’t have to go out with the guys after practice or stay around Ansu’s to play FIFA, but you did. That was a choice you made.”
He opened his mouth to retaliate but you weren’t done, “And I’m not even mad about that. I’m mad that for the last month, you’ve put me below every other person in your life, treated me like I’m dispensable, someone who you only consider when you need something. I feel cheap. Like something you only want when it’s convenient to you.”
“That’s not true. You’re my girlfriend!” His voice shook as he spoke, and you realized he was probably just as scared as you were.
“Then why do I feel like I’m not?” Your voice came out soft, barely above a whisper, but it felt like delivering the final blow to an already sinking battleship.
You felt his eyes on you, eyes glazing over as hundreds of unushered words filled the space between you, but the moment was cut short, and you had to remind yourself that you were in public as Xavi approached the two of you.
You gave Xavi a quick hug before he congratulated Gavi on a great season.
Gavi only nodded, murmuring short responses, eyes glancing at you every few seconds like he was scared you would disappear from his life if he wasn’t watching.  
He left after a moment, and then the two of you were alone again.
“I’m sorry Y/n, I had no idea that’s why you were working. I would’ve given you the money if you just said something-“
“I don’t want your money Gavi! It’s yours, not mine.” You said exasperated.
“C’mon Y/n you know I have enough to provide for the both of us. You don’t have to work-“
“I don’t want that! In fact, right now I don’t even want to be in this relationship!”
The boy physically shrunk back at your words, your admission sending him into silence as he processed your words.
Finally, he spoke, head shaking in denial, not wanting to admit what was right in front of him, “I-I don’t understand.”
You wanted to yell at him to notice all the signs you’d been sending him, beg him to understand the things you couldn’t say but had always been lurking in the shadows, easy enough to make out if you just paid attention. You wanted to scream that it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair that Gavi got to pursue his passion while you were being told to give up yours. Your head was filled with millions of things you wanted to say to him, thousands of little moments you wanted to share with him, you wanted to confide in him about how scared you were, how you had never felt like this in your life, how the thought of him slowly falling out of love with you was ripping your insides apart, making you sick to your stomach. There were so many things but not one left your mouth.
“I know you don’t.” Your voice sounded tired, even to your own ears, and you wondered if this was it. If this is where the two of you parted ways.
“I-I’m just going to go home.”
“I’ll grab our coats.”
You placed your hand gently on his, giving him a sad smile, “It’s ok. I think I’ll go alone.”
Neither of you could deny what it meant.
He ducked his head so you couldn’t see his red eyes. There was a moment of silence, and you could tell he was fighting with himself, trying to figure out what to do to stop the inevitable, until he slowly nodded,
“Ok.”
He had just sealed your relationship closed, something you were grateful for because you knew you couldn’t have done it yourself.
He didn’t lift his head as you walked away, and you didn’t blame him.
You grabbed your coat quickly, bidding goodbye to a few people as you made your way out of the hall.
As you walked down the hallway towards the main doors you realized you didn’t have a ride back. Your roommate had dropped you off and you assumed Gavi would drop you back. Well, that wasn’t happening now. Train it was. One glance out the window told you it was raining, downpouring to be exact.
How fitting. At least the weather matched your mood.
You stepped outside, immediately becoming drenched, but somehow you found comfort in it, at least this way no one could see you cry.
You were about halfway down the steps when you heard the door slam open, yelling coming from behind you.
You spun around, surprised to see Gavi stepping into the rain, “Please stay. Please.”
You stood frozen, unsure of what to say.
You were sure he wouldn’t follow you. But he had.
He kept taking steps closer to you, closing the distance, till you were only two steps apart, “Stay.”
His eyes searched your own, looking for something, maybe a sign that there was hope, something you weren’t sure you could provide.
“Just let me go. We can talk about this tomorrow.”
He shook his head, breath unsteady, “No I can’t. I can’t. I feel like if I let you go now, I’ll never see you again.”
You bit your cheek looking away, he was right. After tonight you had no intention of talking to him again.
His shoulders drooped at your silence, and he sat down on the steps of the building, harsh rain pounding down on him, matting his hair and drenching his extremely expensive suit, but he didn’t seem to care, “I hate fighting with you.”
You glanced down at his figure, watching him sit in the rain with his head in his hands, utterly defenseless.
“But I hate even more that it’s my fault, and that I couldn’t see what I was doing until I felt what you did, just for a second, and it hurt like hell.”
“I should have been there for you. I should have made time for you. I knew what I was doing wasn’t right but then I kept thinking it’s fine I’ll make it up to her next time, but next time never happened because I never showed up. I guess I was just so focused on making sure my teammates all liked me, and they had just stopped treating me like a kid, finally inviting me places - and I’m not using that as an excuse because I know it’s a shit one, it’s on me. Nobody forced me to do anything, I just wanted to feel included, and I put everyone else’s feelings above yours when yours was the one that was the most important to me.”
He finally lifted his head, and he was close enough that you could see the tears streaming down his face as he looked intently at you, almost like he was trying to memorize you, “If you want to walk away you can, you should - I’ll understand. I just wanted to apologize, really apologize, and own up to everything I did. I love you, and I promise you I won’t take anyone for granted the way I did with you.”
Your expression mirrored his own, and the tears were falling freely at his confession now that it was just the two of you. All the things you had wanted him to realize he had. All the things you wished he had said, he finally did.
But was it too late?
“Thank you, Pablo.”
He let out a short laugh through his tears, “No, thank you.”
You gave him a soft smile before you put distance between the two of you, letting the rain mask the sound of you leaving.
The lights from the venue grew dimmer as you continued walking, and you spared one last glance over your shoulder before it disappeared from view, seeing Gavi’s tiny figure rooted in place, watching you leave.
Your steps faltered.
How could you leave this relationship, this boy, when every single warning sign was going off in your brain, telling you to turn around and fight, to not give up? He had understood, he had understood exactly what you had felt, and had owned up to his mistakes, what else could he have done? He couldn’t go back and make it better, but he could change the way he treated you, but how would you acknowledge the change if you didn’t stick around?
It didn’t feel right walking away.
You thought you would feel content, feel like the pressure was lifting from your shoulders, but the dropping feeling in your stomach was multiplying, and your heart was constricting painfully at the thought of never seeing him, never laughing with him, never kissing him again, at the idea of falling in love with someone that wasn’t him.
You never ran faster in your life.
Let him be there. Please let him be there.
You didn’t know how you could explain yourself if you had to walk back into the event sopping wet, eyes puffy, and nose runny.
You couldn’t stop the wide smile that stretched across your face as he realized he was right where you left him.
You sat next to him and he didn’t notice until you spoke.
“Pablo.”
His head shot upon hearing your voice, and his face lifted for a second before falling again, “Di-Did you forget something?”
You nodded.
“Ok I can get it for you, what is it?” He cleared his throat, trying to make his voice clear.
You shifted closer to him, bodies pressed against each other, “I forgot that I love you. I love you and I want to work this out. I’m happy that you took responsibility and I believe you. I believe that you won’t do it again. But I should apologize too – I also wasn’t fair to you, and I did things that I shouldn’t have just to get back at you for making me feel so small.”
“I’m sorr-”
You cut him off, “Let’s stop apologizing.”
He nodded, eyes looking at you with nothing but love and admiration,
“Ok but we’ll have to work on our communication.” He said, and you hummed in agreement.
You touched your forehead with his, staring at each other with baited breaths until he finally closed the distance and kissed you. After a month of not seeing each other, you were finally kissing, pouring all your emotions, all your love, all your pain into the kiss, making a promise to be there for each other, and it felt like coming home.
alternate ending
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star-girl69 · 3 months
Note
imagine the little family but reader gets hit on by one of the new campers and the rest of the camp is waiting to see ivy and clarisse reaction 🌚
I LOVE THIS OMMGGGGGG
no bc this is specifically so funny and dear to me bc imagine
you’re like sitting with ivy and playing in the sand on the beach having a fun time
and then hi harry from better than revenge in an alternate universe
clarisse has been so busy lately bc it’s the start of summer and there’s all these new campers and things
so you haven’t been around each other as much 💔
dumbass harry walks over to you and is like “it’s so sweet how you treat your younger sibling like your own”
and ivy is preening at the attention of this nice boy who quickly realizes the way to your heart is through ivy
you just think he’s nice and playing with ivy in the sand and making a killer sand castle tbh….
then he says smth a little flirty like a compliment but neither you or ivy think much of it at first
then he’s like “oh hey here you have some sand on your face” and leans so close to you to brush your cheek with his thumb
woah buddy 😟😟😟😟😟
ivy is like ok what the freak (she’s not supposed to swear) (let’s be real she still does)
bc like she’s not dumb….. she knows the only person who touches you like this is clarisse and yeah this guy is nice but she doesn’t like him THAT much
he doesn’t look that strong he can’t be her jungle gym she’s not liking it
you’re sitting there in shock and ivy is getting mad bc HE SHUFFLES CLOSER TO YOU
she climbs into your lap and starts SCREAMING bloody murder and kicking out wildly at harry
“Y/N I WANT TO GO Y/N I WANT TO GO I WANT TO GO I WANT TO GO”
so you pick her up and rush your little butts out of there and harry is trying to follow you bc THIS BITCH WILL NOT GIVE UP DAMN
and you’re looking over your shoulder like GO AWAY
after another second you think he’s gone so you set ivy down
you crouch down and you’re pretty sure she just didn’t like harry flirting w you but you just wanna make sure smth wasn’t actually wrong
“hey are you guys okay?”
“RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” is ivy’s war cry as she jumps on top of harry and starts screaming and kicking and hitting him
AND YOURE SCREAMING TOO BC WTF??????
“IVY YOU GET DOWN RIGHT NOW NO DESSERT FOR THREE DAYS I SWEAR”
eventually everyone kinda heads towards the commotion of this 10 year old screaming and attacking harry and you desperately trying to pull ivy off of him
that is when clarisse walks over
she just stares at the scene for a second in absolute shock
then harry finally pushes ivy off of him and she FLIES into you like he pushed her HARD bc he’s a BITCH
and you weren’t expecting it so you fall back w ivy in your arms
CLARISSE IS ABOUT TO GO INSANE
she runs over but harry is like NO NO NO MY CHANCES ARE RUINED
so he’s desperately trying to help you up and you’re like oh my god i think i’m gonna die
ivy starts attacking him like a feral dog again
“YOU- HURT- MY- Y/N- STUPID HEAD!!!!!!!”
you need a leash for her atp
but by the time clarisse makes it over to you she realizes what’s going on
she crouches down next to you and says ivy’s name really intimidatingly and ivy is like
“OMG HI CLARISSE I LITERALLY SAVED Y/N’S LIFE ARENT YOU PROUD OF ME”
and after she looks over you and sees that your find just a little shocked and very tired (motherhood is hard) she decides to glare at harry
“okay and what does that mean?”
“ok so we were playing in the sand and then harry comes over and he’s nice and he’s helping me build my sandcastle and then he starts TOUCHING Y/N and getting all CLOSE TO HER and i was like woah wait hold on what the freak so then i threw a tantrum so we would leave BUT HE KEPT FOLLOWING!!!!!!! I JUST WANTED HIM TO GO AWAY BC YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO TOUCHES Y/N LIKE THAT SO I ATTACKED HIM AND THEN HE PUSHED ME SO I ATTACKED HIM MORE BUT NOW YOURE HERE!!!!!!”
harry is just horrified bc that’s exactly what happened this child was just throwing a tantrum 5 minutes ago how is she so articulated
she’s just smart like that tho
clarisse is like “oh so you’re flirting with my girlfriend? are you dumb? literally everyone knows.”
harry just accepts defeat and mutters a few choice words under his breath and walks away
clarisse debates about punching him but decides that ivy has already done all of the work for her
ivy hugs clarisse so tight
“you are so amazing my little warrior you did such a great job protecting y/n i am so proud”
then you join the hug “yes you’re my little knight in shining armor but please remember violence is not always the answer”
ivy and clarisse share a look like “this crazy lady just be saying stuff”
“EXCUSE ME???? BC I KNOW YOU TWO DIDNT JUST LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT-”
you try to actually make ivy skip dessert for a few days but she’s so adorable so you give it to her anyways
clarisse teaches her how to properly throw a punch and kick someone
you are not pleased
ivy is ecstatic her new passion is fighting
harry stays far away from you
also percy is now campaigning to bring awareness to the clarisse and mini clarisse epidemic
he is very concerned.
—-
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex
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pigdemonart · 1 year
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Battle Subway Depot Agents (by pig-demon)
When I made designs for these guys last year I didn’t really think they needed colored references/master post, but since then I’ve drawn them a lot! Also people have added them to their fanfics and drawn fanart! So I figured it was time I made a post for easy ref. :]
These designs are obviously free to use, just give credit (and link me your work if you're comfortable, because it makes me happy to see!) All I request is to stay respectful to their pronouns and skin colors, ya knooow… 👍 note: The pokemon on their cards are all companions, not the ones they use on the Battle Subway. Except Jackie...the litwicks are just there to fill space/give them company.
More info under cut:
Edit: Important disclaimer:
These are again my designs/interpretations for the agents. Please don’t treat them as canon or as the only, quintessential designs for these literal background npcs. Many people have done takes on them before and after me, even back in 2010. It feels silly to ask, but due to past experience, I ask that you please DONT hunt down anyone that does a different take on the depot agents!! 👍
Tags:
I'm gonna start tagging them individually, but for now all Depot Agent comics and art on this blog are tagged under Depot Agents.
Height chart:
I’m not too strict about heights, so I don’t really care about actual measurements. Here’s an approximation of what I tend to visualize though:
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Sexualities/Gender Identities: I don't have official labels for each and every agent because I like keeping things fluid for characters to develop these traits on their own. However, as a queer person, I enjoy designing characters who are also queer, therefore I can safely say none of these characters are straight. The ones who are set in stone are Ramses (gay man), Cloud (lesbian woman,) Jackie (non-binary.) Furze uses he/they pronouns but their gender is undetermined. I also welcome anyone giving the agents a different gender identity to suit them (as long as it's done respectfully.)
Notes about each agent...
Cameron:
- Cameron dyes parts of his hair blonde and keeps other parts in black. This is because he is a big fan of Elesa and her fashion choices.  - Though there have been a few occasions to meet his idol, he is always way too nervous to approach her, feeling deep down that he'll mess up somehow. - He practices modeling poses in secret. He loves flourishes and flare, but is simply too insecure to put it on display. - Of his coworkers, he gets along the best with Furze. He's the easiest to talk to because Furze will do most of the talking. - Cameron is easily intimidated — even mean Pokémon can make him nervous. Though, his two worst fears are being left in a room alone with Jackie, and being left alone in a room with Isadore. - He takes advantage of his height to sometimes hide behind some of his coworkers. - Cameron is much better at Pokémon battles than he gives himself credit for. Emmet and Ingo were pleasantly surprised by this, since Cameron was promoted to fit a temporary role on the Battle Subway. They happily made him a permanent member when he proved himself capable. - His Dwebble (Pebby) is secretly very strong, and rushes to protect Cameron when it can. Cam sometimes thinks Pebby helps him feel more confident in himself too.  - If he stumbled into any of his coworkers outside of work, he would simply explode of embarrassment. - He is the youngest child and only son of his family. He lives in his own apartment in Nimbasa.
Cloud:
- Cloud (like Ramses) knew the twins when they were very young. - She used to be an ace trainer in her youth, even going so far to compete in the Pokémon league. Winning and becoming the champ was the most important part of her journey, but something happened along the way that changed that outlook. - It seems with age, her competitiveness has mellowed out. However, she maintains an intense energy when battling.  - Her favorite types are Psychic and Flying types. Swoobat (Sweetie) is her ace.  - Her favorite hobby is baking, and she often bakes sweets for the crew. She knows all their favorite flavors by now! - She prioritizes keeping a friendly relationship with all her coworkers and thinks of them fondly. She considers Ramses family after all the years of working together!  - She is a big fan of Brycen's movies and can recite the lines. - She lives with her wife in Anville. - Cloud loves doing maintenance work both at home and in Gear Station. She enjoys bringing her own tools and industrial flashlight.
Furze:
- Furze only has one volume setting (mid loud,) but he finds himself feeling right at home when talking to either one of the twins. - Furze has ADHD, and this is reflected in some of his habits, most visibly is his fidgeting when sitting still for too long. - He rides a bike to work every day. When he is late, Cloud clocks in for him so he doesn't get in trouble. - This is a kind of a guy that sits crouched gargoyle style on chairs. Only outside of work, of course. Bad posture could get him in trouble. - While working on the Battle Subway, there will be times Furze feels sorry for his opponents and offers to quietly let them pass anyways. This...has also gotten him in trouble. :[ - He went to the same elementary school as Isadore in Castelia. Though Isadore seems to have forgotten their short-lived acquaintance, Furze has not. This is part of the reason Furze claims they are in fact good friends!!! - Furze is the middle child of a big family. He lives with his mom and takes care of her, along with his many Darumakas and Darmanitan. All of his Pokemon have famous trains names. - He collects model trains. Naturally.
Isadore
- Isadore had plans to become the station master the moment he was hired as a depot agent, but alas... (sad trumpet sound.) - As a youth, he was more interested in science and engineering over Pokemon battles. He enjoys the strategizing aspect, at most. Not so much the competitiveness. - In addition, his Pokemon are all rescues and not used for battling. He's had his Watchog (Winston) since he was in his late teens. - His Electrode (Gregor) and Voltorb (Leonard) were rescued from the likes of Team Plasma. - Isadore admits he understands Pokemon better than humans. This has been apparent his whole life. - In spite of acting like a sitcom villain, Isadore cares about the management of Gear Station and the safety of the passengers to an incredible degree. He sees it as a personal life goal to assist in the management of Gear Station, as well as the success of the Battle Subway. - Though it pained him to become a subordinate to the twins, he begrudgingly accepts it for the greater good. - His almost militant efficiency certainly made up for his years of antagonizing the twins before they became the bosses. Ingo and Emmet understand this better than anyone. - Isadore keeps tabs on all of the staff members. So he very well knows all their birthdays and makes it a point to celebrate it. This is by no means a -happy- or -festive- event. It's just customary. - Like Furze, he was originally from Castelia, but now resides in Nimbasa. Isadore's only family is his mom and she lives in his childhood home with their Stoutland. - Isadore would have probably been voiced by every glasses guy ever J. Michael Tatum had he not already been cast as dear Emmet lmao
Jackie
- Jackie is a mystery and they like keeping it that way. When they talk, it's practically impossible to determine what is a lie or truth, especially if the subject is themselves or their background. - They love scaring Cameron the most and will ask to be paired with him whenever possible. They claim Cameron is their "favorite coworker," while Isadore is the least favorite. - It's plain to see why -- Jackie is the only one that doesn't passively tolerate Isadore's tirades. - Though my comics sometimes may allude to Jackie being a ghost/supernatural, this is not confirmed nor canon. I just personally enjoy toying with the concept. : ) That being said...
- Item #: SCP 7453
- Object Class: Euclid
- Special Containment Procedures: The ████ ██████ is ██████ within ████-██████. - Ingo and Emmet choose to not question anything about Jackie, since it's clear they're one of the more efficient workers. However it can be a safety concern... - Cloud and Ramses have worked with Jackie for a long time, though they've forgotten somehow. They believe Jackie is a new hire since they appear to be young. - Anyone trying to make sense of Jackie's employee records simply can't bring themselves to any conclusions. It's better to ignore the inconsistencies. - Jackie has never been seen to leave Gear Station. Jackie has never been seen in anything but their uniform. Jackie has never been confirmed to eat, drink or blink. Jackie knows your secrets. Jackie thinks it's... amusing.
Ramses
- Ramses sometimes misses having a full head of hair, but he thinks his signs of age make him look distinguished. (he is correct.) - Ramses is sort of the "mom friend," making sure everyone's concerns are heard, as well as trying to keep the peace whenever a conflict might arise. - If another coworker is feeling low, Ramses will try to cheer them up with a lighthearted joke or offer advice if they'd like it. - When the twins were promoted to bosses of the Battle Subway, Ramses cried because he felt so proud. - In most circumstances, he is a very simple and logical man. He is quick to find solutions and tries not to fret over the little stuff. It's not good for his heart after all. - His ace is his Pikachu (Musa,) though the mouse is more of a lap pet now. At home, he also has an Audino (Sara) and a Manectric (Nubi) who keep Ramses' husband company. His Klinklang (Moli) is the only one of his personal pokemon that accompany him to work nowadays. - Ramses considers Cloud family. They are best friends and love having family gatherings outside of work. They also gossip a lot, and don't mind when Jackie decides to join. - Ramses jokes about looking forward to retirement, but really doesn't want to leave until he is physically incapable of working anymore. Gear Station is like a second home to him.
In-Game Quotes
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The most important reference of all are their in-game quotes, of course, so I'm adding it to the post. A lot of their personality traits can be extracted and interpreted from these few lines. And I personally love that about Pokemon NPCs -- there's a lot of room to explore and play with. Some appear very obvious. Cameron practically announces that he isn't ready for the battle that's about to ensue and seems genuinely surprised to win. Furze comes out the gate talking about the subject they actually care about, which is their job and their love for trains. The two of them are very easy to understand. Now, Ramses lines allude to a gentle and simple personality. He views himself with humility, and maybe even with a bit of humor comparing himself to a train and to his opponent to a station. If he loses he shows no signs of disappointment, he just accepts defeat with one last honest quip. It s also amusing to see the Depot Agents all use train metaphors to describe themselves since it falls in line with how Ingo and Emmet talk.
In comparison, Cloud does the same thing calling herself the terminal instead. Immediately, she is way more daring, though still keeping a sense of professionalism. To me, it's obvious she is competitive as she even admits she was expecting to win ("Ah...I didn't see it coming.") Jackie's lines are fun since it's up to interpretation if they are being literal or lying. It's almost like they are more interested in confusing/creeping out their opponent than actually beating them. To me, it gives off a mischievous vibe. Isadore's opener "There are only two roads in life." is a curious one because it almost feels like he is trying to be philosophical. Definitely a guy who views himself as an intellectual, regardless if that’s true or not. I like to think it's a saying he really believes in, and it applies to his life. The road he likes (long route) vs the road he hates (shortcut) -- fighting tooth and nail to become boss vs biting his tongue and accepting Ingo and Emmet as the Subway Masters.
Those are just my thoughts on how I write these characters. Please have fun playing with these lines too!
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ellstronaut · 2 months
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Going back to this debate
I know Ellle is a multifaceted individual that much is obvious she’s not one dimensional she has many elements to her personality. Additionally, it’s important to remember that even on the spectrum of masculine and feminine, Ellie isn’t completely one or the other. She exists in some sort of grey area between them, embodying both masculine and feminine traits. She’s not defined by one end of the spectrum, but rather by the interplay of these two extremes.
Yet at times the characterisation of Ellie is laced with internalised misogyny. And highlights the way “masc presenting” lesbians are treated in real life tied down to the “man” in the relationship why is Ellie mostly written as the dominant one especially when coupled with fem reader why do we head canon her as a top when it’s literally canon that she’s a switch? Why is there an infinite amount of “ellie taking care of the reader on her period” scenarios outnumber “Reader taking care of Ellie on her period” Ellie written as tall towering over fem reader and not like she’s literally 5’5
The fact is that there’s a heteronormative slant to the way people write her. Like I said almost never written as a switch, but a top. To some extent been portrayed as tall and dominating, never small or vulnerable. And Santa Barbara Ellie is often sexualized even though she is deeply traumatized and emotionally tormented. The problem is that people are viewing her through male-centric lenses, reducing her to an object of desire rather than a fully fleshed out woman with a complex, nuanced personality which includes many dimensions, some of which may be considered feminine.
There is no specific way to be a “masc lesbian” a woman nor feminine and express your femininity. Nor should that separate her from her womanhood/femininity. in a way it’s her way of showing how feminine she is. maybe not stereotypically through outward appearances, but her general identity. she’s a woman who experiences the same struggles that women do, Obviously she doesn’t waver just on the lines of black and white, she’s all rounded. In between. Grey area. The point I’m trying to make is that she’s all and above, you can be both masc and fem. I would add that Ellie's femininity is often overlooked or even belittled by people who only focus on traits that appeal to them. Not her emotional intelligence, her caring nature, her resilience, her dedication to her loved ones. Fuck she’s also a soft heart and a tender soul. These aspects of her are just as important to her character, she is a whole person ffs, exceptionally fleshed out
So fuck
“the hot wife and her hot boyfriend”
Why not
“The hot wife and her hot wife”
“She’s so boyfriend
Uh
“She’s so girlfriend”
Santa Barbara/Seattle is literally at her most vulnerable, disheveled state that girl is literally plagued with trauma, stuck in a limbo of “do I seek vengeance in the name of losing my family and absolutely everything or stay and suffer in silence (at who’s expense?? Hers) Yet we sexualise tf out of her, the most vulnerable pinnacle of existence—glorified and romanticised bc it’s “hot”
this is not a dig at anyone you’re free to write whatever tf you want bro it’s your platform but pls let’s not bs and pretend as of this doesn’t occur
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lyomeii · 9 months
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a mother’s care
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-> warnings: yandere themes, afab! reader, death mentions, lightly spoiler from the manga, reader’s a mother and a little tired from the sorcerer worlds, reader can be seeing either as the biological mother or adoptive.
-> request by @rouecentric lyo!! lyo!! i saw that your requests were open and that you write for jjk!! so i wanted to ask if you could write how the first years (and maybe gojo??) would react to a reader that is not only yuji's mom, but also one of the best sorcerers of all time that could be toe to toe in a fight with gojo, but retired to take care of and raise yuji, but returned to being one because of her son's predicament? feel free to remove any characters you don't want to write and have a nice morning/day/night!!!!!
-> a/n: a request from roue themselves? let me do it instead of my tasks. so this was really nice to write it and im happy for it turned out, so I’m hope you will enjoy it, roue. and don’t forget to take care of yourself too :)
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❥ everyone in the sorcerer community knew about you, not only one of the most powerful sorcerer of the modern times, but also a beloved person known. a lovely woman that put herself in danger to protect others, the many time when you got hurt by doing it brought you a few scars in your skin, yet it was not enough to stop the many marriage offers from the many sorcerers family, in fact, it only made more and more offers come at you and yet, all of them ended rejected by you.
❥ there is no denying that you are an important figure and once you completely vanished from it once you graduate from jujutsu high, many wonder where did you go. could it be that you were killed? kidnapped? those were plausible theories of course, but actually you just want to become a better mother.
❥ you got into a relationship with a great man, who not only loved you a lot, but treated you like a goddess. and with the relationship between the two of you becoming stronger, a baby entered the family. living the three of you was a calm and sweet life, nothing wrong was going on and yuji was growing like any children, yet you could feel something off about it.
❥ maybe it was the fact he was stronger than most children, i mean, yuji kicked the ball and almost took down a tree once he was ten. another occasion was that time he lift the coach by himself one day prior his fourteen birthday. however, you to ignore it, though that he was just a stronger boy for his age. his father, (before you become a single mother) did said that yuji is just a special boy, do that’s must it, right?
❥ his father was right, yuji is a special boy. once you received a call from a familiar friend who immediately request your presence at jujutsu high in behalf of your son’s recently events. arriving at that place brought many memories and seeing your beloved son inside that room, hearing of his future execution once he swallow sukuna’s fingers from the higher up and make things worse, his grandfather died just a few days ago.
❥ things aren’t easier, that’s why you return to being a sorcerer. yuji, well, was really shocked and surprised by your reveal, include of the others experience sorcerers talked about your past actions during your high school years. “you are so powerful!” his words and sparkling eyes are more than enough to make things better. too be closer with him, you decided to move to a residence nearby the school, not wanting to lose a moment in his life.
❥ someone who was way happier with your return was gojo. he literally hugged you once you confirmed that you would be staying around to take care of yuji, gaining even more hugs from him. even after years and incidents, he still almost the same boy you helped train years ago. the only difference being he is tall as a door now. making you feel so small and young even though you are older than him.
❥ the others were also quite happy to see you around once again, nanami looked at you like a ghost from the past and took a while before he gained courage to talk with you. a smile in your face was so sweet as you two interact and when yuji enters the conversation, the three of you look so cute together.
❥ now the students are shocked with your presence. none of them knew expected to yuji has a mother or the fact you are special grade sorcerer like their teacher. nobara was the loudest one to introduce herself while the others glare at her for not giving any personal space. maki was intrigued by the rumors of how excellent are you with swords and daggers, asking if you are willingly to train her for a few times.
❥ it’s clear the students have a soft for you despite being way more powerful than them, even yuji, the same boy you raised since he was little has become quite protective of you. ignoring how soft they are with you, it’s nice to taught them during school hours. making them learning new way to protect themselves is a nice way to bond, slightly making you an unofficial teacher at tokyo high.
❥ as times goes on, it’s clear how things are becoming more dangerous than ever before. yuji sometimes loses control over sukuna and hurts people over it, making you even more concerned about his state. sometimes, you wonder if you just could grab him and run away from all this mess. yet, you fear the many consequences over it and can only dream about it on your own thoughts.
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@lyomeii stuff || don’t repost
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saturnstrn · 19 days
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matt sturniolo hc’s !
matt sturniolo x reader
no warnings!
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i lowk feel like he would be kinda dry in the talking stage
he’s kinda an awkward person so he would not know how to act
but besides that, the man is OBSESSED with you
okay but the way i see him an extroverted person
will definitely drive you anywhere you want to
BOY DOES NOT SAY NO TO YOU
“ i literally asked you to take me to target and you said no but when she asks it’s a yes?!” “ she has girlfriend priorities nick!”
“ do you want to go shopping with me today 🤗” boy will probably make a face but will still say yes
and if he does…. he’s in for a treat..
ITS FOR GOOD REASONS THOUGH
“ alr baby no more drinks let’s go” with a protective mom look on his face dragging you away
he’s such a mom to you
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU GET SICK BRO
he will bring you anything you need, and will YELL at you if you get up
“ why would you get up! sit back down your sick!”
okay but your lowk a mother to him too….
he secretly loves it but never will admit it..
bro tells EVERYONE he hates pet names and shit like that but folds when you call him baby
baby, sweetheart,my girl, babe, those are the few he calls you
SPEAKING OF MY GIRL
bro addresses you to other people like that
“ yeah my girl really likes those” “ my girl’s over there” “ oh yeah my girl is friends with her but” and so on
he follows you around like a lost puppy
especially at parties
ok now let’s talk about arguments…
i feel like you both would be stubborn people so arguments wouldn’t happen frequently but sometime often
OVER STUPID STUFF
he’ll never yell at you though
but he gets kinda mean and you have to put him in his place…
“ god you just like to start fights for zero reason huh? ” “ you started this fight matthew!!”
oh but once you pull out the full name… he KNOWS he’s screwed..
“ i’m sorry baby” he’ll say after kissing you
hes buy literally anything for you
princess treatment to the MAX.
he’s brought you flowers every since you guys started dating
hand on thigh during car rides
he’s not very into pda but behind close doors he’s all over you.
he’s likes things being one on ones
your relationship would be so soft launched
either it’s from ur insta photos dumps or his stories
either way, everyone knows ur dating
he’s so “ you’re beautiful “ than “ you’re fine” TRY AND DISAGREE WITH ME
he knows you’re an a good looking person so i feel like jealously isn’t really there
he would only get “ possessive” if he sees the other person making you uncomfortable
HIS FAMILY LOVESSSSS YOU
like they absolute adore you.
you have facetime calls with marylou every month to “ catch up” but in reality your just talking about matt
if you have siblings, your siblings + parents love him
every time he comes over for dinner, it ends in him and your dad bonding over anything.
your mom gets mad whenever you get upset at matt bye
“ don’t yell at him like that!” “yeah don’t yell at me like that”
he’s such a suck up bye
YOU GUYS ARE LOCKED TF IN
i will add more later !
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captainkirkk · 1 month
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✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩
All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.
Miraculous Ladybug
Open My Eyes by buggachat
Adrien smiles as he eats breakfast with Nathalie, smiles as he walks through the halls of his new lycée, smiles as people stop him on the street and tell him time and time again what a "hero" his father was.
(Adrien wishes he could've been a hero, too. He should've been. Maybe then his father would still be alive.)
(But he's surviving. Everyone may be treating him as though he were made of glass, but he can still go through the motions, he can prove them wrong, he can still smile.)
“And you’re… happy,” Marinette spoke carefully, a nervous tilt to her voice, “... right?”
(Adrien has some things to find out.)
DC
the good, the bad, and the power hungry by konan_konan
dim trake ☑ @timdrakeceo・8hr if one more person tweets about #superlex unironically im gonna end it all 391K Views | 200 Retweets | 13 Quote Tweets | 22.1K Likes
j-son of a bitch ☑ @jsntdd・8hr ↳ replying to @timdrakeceo hurr durr these are the consequences of ur actions bitch 201K Views | 109 Retweets | 4 Quote Tweets | 18.4K Likes
or: lex luthor makes bad choices. and then, so does everyone else.
call me cute and feed me sugar by suzukiblu
Tim Drake had absolutely no intentions of ever becoming anyone's sugar daddy when he met Superboy.
This would have worked out better for him if Superboy had ever had an actual legal identity or an actual legal guardian or just . . . literally anything whatsoever in life. Ever. At all.
Just a bank account, even.
how big, how blue, how beautiful by merils
Kon-El is not good with medical settings. One could even say he's quite bad with them. How bad, exactly?
Well, let's put it this way: Very few things in the world can make him scream for Superman to save him.
(Superman will save him. That's what family's for, right?)
Clone Wars
The Kenobi Chronicles by WobblyCat
General Kenobi isn't actually dead. Someone should really tell that to his troopers, though.
Or: The clones under General Kenobi's command have a groupchat dedicated to him. Cody wishes his subordinates weren't so fucking stupid.
SVSSS
Shen Yuan's Forced Shen Qingqiu Redemption Arc by SpicyReyes
The System's OOC function won't unlock all at once - instead, character traits have to be added individually, through quests. This leads to Shen Qingqiu having to jump through endless hoops just to complete enough side quests to unlock the ability to be a decent person - all while avoiding the effects it has on those around him. If only the cheapskate System wouldn't keep changing the cost of point values - he needs to know what the hell Yue Qingyuan told the others about him that makes them all look so sad when he does manage to be nice! He's breaking his back here, can't we just appreciate his work?!
second-hand alibis by nex_et_nox
"All right. I’m in Proud Immortal Demon Way," he says, once he's had a chance to compose himself again. He sits back up, tossing his stupidly long hair back over his shoulders where it belongs; he is totally calm and ready to grill the System for more information.  "Who am I supposed to be?" Please please please don't let it be someone who Bingge violently murders. Though given the fact that he's a man in PIDW, his chances are already skewed, and not in his favor. Ugh. [Bound Role: Shen Yuan, Rogue Cultivator. Weapon: the sword Heng Li. Starting B-points: 100.]
or: Shen Yuan transmigrates as a rogue cultivator, one completely unconnected to any canon characters or events. Right, System? Right?
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broppythegoat · 4 months
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poppy is branch’s family 😋
i saw someone the other day say “idk why poppy and viva were included in brozone’s family harmony bc it was supposed to be a FAMILY harmony and poppy and viva aren’t apart of brozone’s family.. WRONG.
branch’s brothers left him when he was a baby. the only family he had after that was his grandma, and his grandma died when he was 3. he literally grew up with no family and no one to love him. it wasn’t until poppy came along that somebody actually loved and cared about him. i mean, literally everyone in the first movie was so annoyed by him. they were like “you always ruin everything” and “you’re such a party-pooper” everyone in the village treated him like crap except for poppy. she would go out of her way to invite him to her parties even though he never went, because she obviously cared about him. she was the first person to show him love and compassion since his brothers left him and since his grandma died. poppy and branch grew super close and became best friends, and then eventually fell in love and got together. all family means is somebody who loves you and somebody who cares about you and takes care of you, and that’s exactly what poppy does for branch. she was his first family after his real family all left him. after everything him and poppy had been through over the years, of course branch would consider poppy his family, and that’s why poppy and viva were included in the brozone family harmony. poppy was branch’s family, and anyone who was in poppy’s family was considered branch’s family too. (i’m very passionate about broppy if you couldn’t tell) THATS MY HOT TAKE YALL POPPY WAS BRANCH’S TRUE FAMILY ALL ALONG!!
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sugawara-kkoushi · 1 year
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Thoughts about Rezaren’s characterization:
Spoilers beneath the cut.
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I’ve seen some people lament the way his character seems to completely flip in episode 4, saying it feels unrealistic and reductive. But that scene was honestly my favorite in the whole series.
I’ve seen complaints like these with other villains before, in which they’re “cartoonishly evil, puppy-kicking villains” that suddenly feel one-dimensional because they’re going to such extremes and seem beyond reason. While that can be true for some villains, that’s not the case with Rezaren. 
What makes the mindscape scene between him and Miriam so good is how much it highlights his core perspective: That she belongs to him. Rezaren hasn’t changed at all - we’re just getting a stark, real picture of his true colors. His personality, motivations, everything - remain consistent from start to finish. 
His introduction scene tells us everything we need to know about his character: He’s charismatic, commanding, and self-serving. His love interest tries to stop him from summoning a spirit, but he disregards and manipulates her with hollow placations. Then he refuses to heed the summoned Memory Spirit’s warnings, only talking over it and trying to force it to do what he wants. Two times in one scene, he’s been told “No”, and two times, he disregards what others have to say. He will get what he wants, be it by manipulation or by force.
As the story unfolds, his love interest tries and fails multiple times to tell him “No” - “No, you shouldn’t go back to the vault”, “No, you can’t use blood magic”, “No, you have to stay in your quarters as is lockdown protocol”, “No, I’m in the middle of an interrogation” - and every single time he asserts his authority over her to get his way.
Then we get to the mindscape conversation between him and Miriam. He shows her memories of their past growing up together - visions where they’re happy and playing like siblings. But when she shows him her own perspective - one which shatters any idea that they were familial equals, he can’t accept it. Indeed, he completely dismisses it, saying that they were all suffering under his mother’s parenting, so they were the same.
But that’s not when he turns on her. 
It’s when she tells him simply, “No.” 
It’s when he “offers” her a chance to be his slave again, but treated “like a sister” as he rules the Chantry as the new Divine. A single refusal from her, and the vision in the mindscape literally starts to crumble and crack violently. It’s here that he rips into her - tearing her dignity down, telling her she’s less than a slave, that he offers her purpose and that she will only live because he wills it. 
This is what real life manipulative abusers do. They tear you apart, then offer you salvation - salvation that only comes by living the way they tell you to. And if you dare to refuse? They get violent. 
He is an Abuser - a Slaver. 
This is why I think his characterization was better than what people think. He didn’t “suddenly become evil” - he always was. This is what real abusers look like. To most, they seem pretty okay and generally get along with people. But that monstrous, narcissistic mindset lurking beneath the surface can come out very fast when challenged. 
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𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖
Feat. Kuroo & Kenma
Summary: Kuroo's mom dislike you; Kenma's assistant tries to ruin things :)
Kuroo
You were getting ready in the bathroom while Kuroo was waiting for you in the bedroom while getting ready himself.
He had been wanting to introduce you to his family for quite some time now, and he finally set a date so you two can have dinner with them. Well, technically you had already met half of his family; since he had started dating you in his first year of university you had already met his dad and grandma and have gone to his house multiple time, you even knew Kenma and got along with him perfectly fine.
But you hadn’t met his mother yet.
Since he didn’t grew up seeing her a lot, he wasn’t particularly close to her, but she still was part of his life; so he did want you to meet her. Although he was kind of scared of her reaction.
You were in the passenger seat of the car, headed to his parents home, an uncharacteristically silence between you two. You were clearly nervous, he could tell, so as soon as he park at the front of his dad’s house he grab your hand and squeeze it.
“You’re nervous” he says
“I am” you answer, if there was something he loved about you was how straightforward you were “what if she doesn’t like me?”
“She will baby, I promise. You're amazing and talented and beautiful, you literally are so nice; there’s no way she won't love you!” he caress your cheek sweetly, every single one of his words meaning everything. You smile at him a little more relaxed, kissing his cheek before opening your door to get out “Oi, I should be opening your door!”
“Too late” you grin walking to his side, him receiving you with a slight pout as he takes your hand walking towards the door
“Ah, Tetsurou! Yn! It’s so nice to see you here!” his father says as he open the door, pulling both of you into a hug “How was the ride?”
“Everything was good” Kuroo answers, making you agree with him instantly
he“I’m glad, come on in, the food should be ready soon” he says moving to the side to let you enter. You said hello to his grandma first before heading to the living room; there you found his mother, a young looking woman with short hair who immediately comes to Kuroo, grabbing his face to give him a kiss
“Ahh, Tetsurou, my love. It’s nice to see you again” she says with a smile, which quickly dropped when her eyes landed on you “who are you?”
You exchange a quick glance with Kuroo, who smiled warmly at you “Hi, I’m Yl Yn, Tetsurou’s girlfriend”
“Oh, so you are his girlfriend” she looks at you with an uncertain expression before giving a tight smile to Kuroo
“Anyways…let’s go to the table, shall we?” Kuroo’s dad add feeling the tension on the air. Throughout the whole dinner things were tense, no matter how much you tried to talked to her she either ignored you or answered you coldly.
“Excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom” you say, at some point after the dinner you couldn’t really handle it properly, so you went to the bathroom to try to get some air
“Tetsurou, you really have the worst taste in friends, first that antisocial boy Kenma and now her; you could do so much bet-”
“Shut up” Kuroo spits the words with venom “This afternoon was supposed to be amazing, she was so nervous to meet you only for you to be a pain in the ass!”
“Kuroo-”
“Not now dad. Yn is a wonderful person, she takes care of me and loves me like no other person can, so don’t you dare to treat her like that. And that applies to Kenma too. After all, both of them have been there for me more than you ever had” he blurts out annoyed. You arrived just by the end of his rant, him noticing you immediately and going to take your hand “We’re leaving, love. Sorry dad, sorry grandma, we’ll come back another day”
“It’s okay, darling, I understand” his grandma answers, giving a death glare to Kuroo’s mom “take care you two”
“What happened?” you asked once you were in the car, making him look at you softly
“Don’t think about it” he takes you faces in his hands, closing the gap with a kiss “I love you lots, okay?”
“Love you too” you answer a little confused, happy nonetheless that he cares about you so much
Kenma
You were heading towards Bouncing Ball to give Kenma his lunch; since he barely has to actually go to the company, he tends to forget about it.
You had known Kenma for a long time now. You two met back in high school, you were part of the Fukurodani volleyball team, and since you were friends with Bokuto and Akaashi, you had met Kenma and Kuroo in one of their many practices. Since you were a good mix of Bokuto’s and Akaashi’s personality -not too quiet but definitely not as extroverted- it was easy for both of them to get along with you, however Kenma felt particularly comfortable with you when you asked him about a game that you were playing after noticing how passionate he was about the topic.
After that day he willingly started to join the practices with the Fukurodani duo, much to the amusement of Kuroo, who had already notice how uncharacteristically excited he seemed when talking to you. And being the annoying friend that he is, with the help of Akaashi and Bokuto, he tried to helped you two get together. A successful attempt if he may add.
You were always supporting him, not only you nag him lovingly so he could stop playing and take care of his health, but you also were his first subscriber, his first viewer in twitch, the person that basically built the company from the ground with him.
He couldn’t be more grateful to have you.
So after 5 years of being together, he asked you to move in with him; he wanted to asked you sooner, but he wanted to make absolutely sure that you two shared the same feelings. And right now you were walking towards his company to give him the food that he had forgotten.
Once you arrived there you enter without any problems, almost everyone in the company knew who you were by now. That was until you arrived outside of Kenma’s office, where you found the new assistant outside
“Hi, what can I help you with?” She asked you with a small disdain in her voice, barely even noticeable
“Yeah, I came to see Kenma” you say
“I’m sorry, Mr. Kozume explicitly told me to not let anyone enter”
“I’m his girlfriend, he told me to come?” you said confused, while he does ask to not be bother, you were always the exception to that
“Sure you are, darling, sure. Please leave before I call security” she look at you with an annoying smile. It was clear that she didn’t believe you, and that she most likely liked your boyfriend
“I…what?”
“I told you already, if you actually were his girlfriend I would kn-”
“Why is there so much noise?” Kenma opens the door with a frown, which deepens when he sees you standing there “What’s happening?”
“Mr. Kozume! Nothing much, just this…girl claiming she’s your girlfriend. But that’s not possible…”
“She is my girlfriend, and I was talking to her” he looks at the assistant almost annoyed as you walk towards him. You could feel the piercing eyes of the assistant in the back of your head
“Mr. Kozume, I will be careful if I was you! It’s clear that she doesn’t love you! She’s just using you for your money!” she adds quite desperately, which makes you chuckle as you lock eyes with Kenma
“Yeah, sure, that’s why we started dating in our high school days, because I had soo much money back then” he drops sarcastically while rolling his eyes. You see the assistant face go all red as her eyes goes between both of you “Anyways, come here babe. Next time let her in no matter what, got it? She’s the exception to every rule”
You went to his side and started walking towards his office while he mutters how annoying people was, even at his own company; you turn around to see the girl looking at you with anger, which made you smile at her before kissing Kenma cheek “Thanks for defending me, hun”
“Of course, I’ll always protect you”
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delululand · 2 months
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hii could you please do enha love languages? ty! <33
hii! this question has been in my inbox for a couple of months so thanks so much to this anon for the question and patience, i finally finished it!!
heeseung world of affirmation & physical touch
perhaps this is just my subjective perception, but i wouldn’t say that heeseung has a very noticeable love language that would immediately catch the eye, however, the words of affirmation seem to me to be his most noticeable love language. he really looks so happy and embarrassed when members or fans compliment him on his gaming skills or ask him to sing and admire his vocals. and this seems to be not only the language in which he chooses to receive love, but also the way he gives love. he always tries to praise and support the members and i’m sure that he would really be for his partner that person who constantly reminds you of what a wonderful person you are, really appreciates any of your skills and abilities, expressing his proud of you, never criticizes your ideas and always ready to listen and support. and physical touching seems a little less obvious, but he often casually touches participants by patting them on the back/head, patting them on the shoulder, and many other manifestations
jay act of service & physical touch (actually it’s seems like he has all 5, but i choose the biggest one)
the most visible language of love that immediately catches the eye is acts of service. he's literally the guy you don't need your brain with at all. you don't have to worry about ANYTHING. if you are going to go somewhere or even go on a trip, he will collect all the information, take into account everything you like to eat, drink, what you would like to see and experience, and based on this he will create an ideal route, all you need is your presence. if you are together, he will do absolutely everything for you, such as prepare food for you, set the table himself, serve you whatever you want, serve utensils, complete all-inclusive, i swear this guy is one step away from starting to feed you himself. cooking, cleaning, fixing anything, he is a wonderful housekeeper and knowing that you are tired, he will gladly free you from any household chores by doing everything himself. in any everyday matters, he is literally the most reliable person i have ever seen. at the same time, i cannot remain silent about how gentle he is in physical touch, he always treats members with such tenderness and is very responsive (?) to the desire to touch him from others. idk It sounds a little strange, but for example, i’m talking about that video where Jongwon was nervous and started to grab jay’s finger and jay immediately took his hand and allowed him to pull his arms, fingers, poke his knees and whatever he wanted as much as he wanted. there's nothing special with it, but it makes my heart melt. and as i mentioned above, he literally has all 5 love languages. we see how much he tries to spend time with the members the way they love, going bowling with niki, shopping with sunghoon and jungwon, playing with heeseung and so on, he really values ​​quality time together. and he also often mentions the importance of spending time together, as he talked about how nice it would be to go on a trip with his family or how he imagined relaxing by the fireplace with a jungwon during the winter holidays. we see him constantly paying for the maknae, taking his mom shopping and always trying to buy her whatever she wants (+ quality time). and speaking about words of affirmations, i think it’s important to emphasize not only that he’s really very responsive and loves not only to talk but also to listen, which is very important, but also how attentively he treats his words. for example, when they were cooking something in one of the episodes of en o’clock, he wanted to joke that they weren’t doing very well and jungwon replied that he had crooked hands, jay thought it was because of his joke and was afraid that jungwon wouldn’t accept this is at his own expense, so he immediately said that his hands are crooked and jungwon does a good job. how much more confirmation do we need that he is literally husband material? (+some additional)
jake physical touch & world of affirmation
okay i think physical touch is more obvious. we see how he loves to hug members from behind, stroke their backs, smell their hair, and even inanimate things he always treats with some tenderness (like how he strokes pillows and all that). but he also has another side that is not talked about as often. he is really very good with words of affirmations!! members often mention that jake is the person they are most likely to want to talk to when they are feeling down or worried about something. they mentioned many times that he listens very well and knows how to choose the right words of support, and can not only provide moral support, but also gives good advice. and the way he supports the participants is always so touching and funny at the same time, like when jay teased sunoo that he wasn’t funny, jake immediately told sunoo “don’t listen, tell him let’s see how funny you are”. he is the person who will not only console and support you in private, but will not remain silent in public
sunghoon quality time & gift giving
i would like to say that his love language is teasing but i really feel like this guy is often underestimated behind the mask of a cold, frightening, unemotional person and he may seem like that, but only at first glance. he cares so much about his members and it often looks like his love language adapts to the other person. jake loves physical touch and sunghoon often touches him by patting him on the back, high-fiving him, or patting him on the back. jay likes to talk a lot and sunghoon listens to him (even if he teases him after...). heeseung loves to hear praise and sunghoon tries to praise him in all sorts of games and stuff. sunoo loves to giggle and sunghoon makes him laugh. engine want to speak to him in different languages ​​and he tries every time even if he’s embarrassed by his english pronunciation. he always tries to take care of the people around him even if he does it unnoticed. and if we talk about his personal love language i would rather highlight quality time and gift giving, we all see that he is not very good at expressing feelings with words, so he would try to make up for it with actions. like just being together, even if you are not talking right now and everyone is busy with their own affairs, he would feel peace from the very fact that you are doing this next to each other in the same room. and speaking of giving gifts, he just constantly sponsors you with anything, but unlike jay, it wouldn’t be something expensive or something like that, just random things that he gives you with the words “nothing special, just went home, saw it and decided to buy”. i really hope that one day more people will see how much feeling and warmth really lies behind his cool exterior
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A Jason Grace Analysis 
While my Jason fics relies on mainly interpretation and headcanons, this one’s mostly going on the limited list of Jason’s life from the books. YOU’RE ALLOWED TO DISAGREE WITH ME,JUST DO IT RESPECTFULLY IN THE COMMENTS. be nice pls.
Spoiler alert 🚨 (for PJO, HOO and TOA)
Jason Grace is a character who was, in a way, screwed over by Rick during his writing of Heroes of Olympus and eiDzgventually Trials of Apollo. His story was very sad, but never explored to its fullest potential and in some cases didn’t make sense. He’s a character who is seen as ‘boring’ by the fandom, which , in a way, makes sense. Uncle Rick didn’t do him justice, so I’m here for a Jason Grace analysis.
Firstly, Jason’s incredibly depressing life. Because I do not know what vendetta that Rick had against my boy, but I would argue his story is the most tragic of everyone in the books. Yes. Even Nico. 
Jason’s mother was an unhinged alcoholic who was obsessed with fame. For the first 2 years of his life, he was basically looked after by his sister, who was also a young child. As hard as Thalia tried, she probably wasn’t the best caregiver on account of her age. His mother was unstable, which has got to leave some scars, even if you’re a young kid, because you still know what’s going on to some extent. And Jupiter seemed to leave the family to their own devices after a while, not even staying for a kid. So Jason has been basically abandoned, keep track of how often that happens. 
Then Jason was abandoned again, this time by his mother, left as a sacrifice for Hera. And he wasn’t sacrificed just anywhere, he was left at the Wolf House, where Lupa tested him to see if he was ‘pup or food’. So Jason, at two years old, was tested by a Wolf Goddess, a ruthless one at that, who threatened to kill him if he didn’t live up to expectations. Just a great environment for a toddler to live in. And while the time he spends in the Wolf House is unspecified, the general consensus is that it was for a year or two. This is more of a headcanon, but the implications of ‘pup or food’ could show that he stayed with her longer than the average Roman demigod. In SoN, it’s shown that most demigods do their Wolf House training for like, a week. And the training sounds harsh when Percy, age 16 does it. So imagine a 2 year old, going through that, constantly. Then he is off to New Rome. 
In HoO, it’s pointed out that Jason has 12 lines of his forearm for his years of service in New Rome. 12 lines representing 12 years of service.
Jason has been serving 12 years of military service since he was around 3. So that means that this literal infant is just… in the military. How does that work? Was baby Jason just running around in little armour? Was he doing the same drills as other kids when he was much, much younger? Also the fact that in Camp Jupiter, you train for 10 years, then go to live in New Rome. But Jason has been serving for longer than that, with 2 extra years. It seemed like he wasn’t going to retire anytime soon in the books, so that also adds some mystique to his character that was never explored.
Then we move into the other things at Camp Jupiter, which is that Jason was treated like a statue or a star, instead of a person. Hazel says that he is ‘more legend than boy’ which is so sad! This kid, this 15 year old is seen by those around him as a hero, a legend to look up to. Did Jason have any other friends? While Reyna seems to be close, Reyna had a crush on him, and while he didn’t know that, it must have made the friendship a bit… different. Jason isn’t specified to have any other friends in the books, probably because everyone was to in awe of his status as a Son of Jupiter. And while Jason may care about the rules, in Roman terms he was a very radical person. He was just trying to live a calm life, to not be known only as the Son of Jupiter. He joins the least respected cohort. He tries to take less important quests. But it doesn’t work, because he does get assigned big quests and while he is in the 5th cohort, people still treat him like a legendary hero instead of just a guy. And while the phrase ‘victim of nepotism’ is quite controversial, I think that Jason actually fits that bill.
Then we come to SoN. You know that tweet that’s like: hey we’re calling off the search party. we found a different guy out there we like more. That’s what Camp Jupiter did to Jason. Again, he was abandoned, this time by his own Camp. Like I know 8 months is a while, but oh my gosh, do we have to elect a new praetor? There’s also a contradiction. Percy is a Greek demigod, which isn’t a thing the Roman’s really like. Yet after a couple weeks at Camp, he’s already a PRAETOR? While Jason was put down for being ‘unrecognisable as a Roman’, they elected a very Greek person as a praetor? He was immediately accepted into the highest position of power? Also the fact that Jason wasn’t looked for. At all. While CHB was scrambling to find their boy (as they should), no one in CJ cared? Like, aren’t they the ones with the giant searching eagles? It seemed like everyone forgot about him, with him being missing not being a huge thing for most people (except Hazel and Reyna to my memory, fill me in if anyone else gave two frogs) and that’s gotta sting. The knowledge that your entire camp not only replaced you, but didn’t bother to look. 
Jason also had amnesia and never regained huge chunks of his memory. That must be horrible, to have parts of your life gone, to not remember much. While Percy got everything back, Jason got so much less!
Jason goes on the quest, then comes back. He goes to CHB, goes to school. He starts having a normal life. And he gets broken up with, making him genuinely sad. And while I know that Piper had no ill intentions whatsoever when she broke up with him, that also could count as an abandonment. Because they don’t really keep in touch in the book, they seem to go their separate ways. So kinda half of an abandonment, even though both parties weren’t in blame.
Finally we have his death. While Thalia got turned into a tree by Zeus, a slightly caring act for a god, Jason died. This could be because Jupiter is crueller than Zeus or it could be because of the cycle of patricide, with Jupiter killing his father, who did the same to his father. Maybe it’s because of his paranoia. Maybe it’s because Jason called Jupiter unwise, but it still counts as an abandonment. The god saved Thalia (she could be seen as non threatening, not a killer. Not someone who could carry on the tradition of son killing father) and abandoned Jason, left him to die the ‘heroes death’. 
Jason’s life has been one big struggle and rejection. 4.5 times, he was abandoned, left somewhere by someone. Left to die in the end. He was a child soldier, meaning that he was a kid that never got to be a kid, just a tool for the gods, for years and years. And he struggled with making friends, making new rules, trying to push the camp into the future. Seen as unroman, even Reyna says it. That’s an awful life, one that Rick Riordan never explored and one that’s contradicted at times.
Jason was a character that Rick dropped the ball on so hard.
Because, while his life is incredibly difficult, it has so much potential for storytelling, that Rick  dashes on the rocks, leaving the fandom with a character who people acknowledge as weak and boring.
So, in the fandom, Jason is regarded as having no personality, or being a knock off Percy. So, Jason not really having a huge personality, as a kid who trained as a soldier from a young age, makes sense. He was spending half his childhood trying to survive so trying to figure out what MBTI type he was may have fallen low on his list of priorities. Then he got amnesia, and sent on the Seven quest. So Jason not having time to develop a sense of personality makes sense, buts here’s the catch. It’s never explored. Rick never, ever explains why that might be happening, which could make for a compelling story arc. Rick never expands on the child soldier thing at all, which sucks because instead of Jason having an identity crisis about Greek and Roman camps, he could be really weird since he’s a child soldier. (I’m aware that they’re all child soldiers, but I refer to Jason as child soldier since he was just a baby when he started)
And the seeds were there. For example, the scene with Jason being wary about Nico and not wanting to rescue him, that could have been Jason being taught that practicality is key. That some people are expendable. He could have learnt that from the ARMY THAT HE GREW UP IN. That could have been a plot point, that Jason struggles with taking breaks or knowing that’s he’s appreciated, that his childhood was abusive and not normal, that life isn’t a constant battle for survival. That could have been his arc! All of the pieces were right there! Rick, dude, you’re a great author, but you fumbled so hard on this one!
And also the fact that… unpopular opinion time….
Jason wasn’t stronger than Percy, but he should have been.
Jason has been in the army since he was a toddler, and I know that Percy’s really powerful, but come on! Jason being this really nice, really powerful kid with super strong powers and no social skills could have slayed. Maybe this is the inner Jason stan in me, but I personally think that Jason should have been stronger than Percy, simply because it makes more sense. Jason has been training for ages and ages, he single handedly fought a Titan at younger than Percy (around 14 or 15) so it seemed like his powers were muted by Rick. This could probably be because the PJO fandom is like a toxic TikTok boy mom when it comes to Percy (I can be like this too), making him centre stage and getting annoyed when he isn’t. Percy is meant to be the strongest, which isn’t bad, in some situations it just doesn’t fit. Or maybe Percy’s just wildly OP.
This is not to say that in the book Jason was weak, but people treat him like that.
And Jason’s really sad life is never explored! He should have been struggling with 1500 mental illnesses at once because that constant abandonment? The stress of everyone’s expectations? Trying not to die at like 4? He’s neither the eldest nor a girl, but he’s got so much eldest daughter syndrome and is burnt out gifted kid syndrome personified. And it’s hardly touched on! 
There’s also the fact that’s a really small nitpick, but, the fact that Jason only has 1 single lip scar? That shows that Rick wasn’t paying attention to his own character. Jason trained with the Wolf Goddess then was in the army, he should be covered in them.
In conclusion, Jason’s very sad and tragic story was hardly utilised and the very interesting parts of his character were not used in a way they could be. But don’t worry Jason. While Rick Riordan may have flopped you, you are one of my favourite characters.
Peace ☮️
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slutsosweet · 1 year
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read before following please!! <33
hi hii!! y’all can call me livi or kitty or baby or sweetheart or literally any other pet name; i’m not partial to any in particular. just the affection and praise is enough to make me melt into a lil puddle :’’)
if you are not at least eighteen years of age, please do not follow or interact with me or my posts. i will not engage with any minors and if any minors attempt to engage with me they will be blocked with no hesitation whatsoever.
this is a blog for my hard kinks because my attention-loving self isn’t satisfied unless i can make myself known everywhere lmao. there will be themes on my page that are triggering for some people, including cnc/consensual non-consent/rape play, and ddlg. full disclaimer: i do not support or make excuses for actual rape or pedophilia. anything i post implies prior consent between adults of sound mind and body, full stop. these are just fantasies, just scenes. if you are uncomfortable with them i completely understand and ask you to click away from my blog for your own safety and peace of mind.
i have a few hard limits that, should you bring up during horny talk, i will immediately block you or delete the ask or both:
- incest (even just mentioning my family at all tbh)
- pedophilia
- beastiality
- blackmail
that being said: i am 22 years of age, afab, and use she/her pronouns. in case you haven’t guessed yet, i am extremely subby and obedient. currently i am owned and taken by my boyfriend/dom, and i am a member of a pack. i am not looking for any online play partners; i am only looking for friends and likeminded acquaintances. i don’t mind interacting with and befriending doms online, but do not attempt to make me your sub. i am only comfortable with in person dynamics and that is final.
even so, you can still treat me like a sub, and i may address some doms using titles and respect, but that does not put us in a dynamic with one another.
i am here purely for icky horny thoughts of my own and reblogging stuff that makes my little cunt throb, but i am extremely friendly (and also a tad shy haha) so please don’t be afraid to reach out for literally any reason!!
please stay safe and take care of yourself <33
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