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swcetnight · 3 years

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It’s Definitely You || kth (m.) 3

synopsis:

Working as a barista in NYC has its perks, but when your ultimate dream of being on the Broadway stage tends to come crumbling down, the only thing that raises your spirits is the comfort of a complete stranger… who seems to have known you for far longer than you thought.

masterlist here

→ pairing: taehyung x barista!reader (also musical theatre performer cause I had to)

→ genre: fluff, angst, future smut | strangers(ish) to lovers… i won’t give the truth away... gonna have to read and find out for yourself ;))

-> warnings: brief mention of character death, PDA at an airport but it’s really sweet so it’s okay, no huge warning for this chapter! but it is a pretty important one… you’ll see…

→ word count: 6.8k

authors note:

hello my wonderful readers and mutuals!! the third chapter of It's Definitely You is FINALLY here!! this chapter was truly difficult to put into words, I'm going to be completely honest... but I am so proud of the result and I hope that all of you enjoy this chapter and its multiple jumps! it was so much fun to write out a dream scene... that one happens to be my favorite ;)) if you have any thoughts, ideas or any scene that stands out to you, I would LOVE to hear about your thoughts and feelings regarding this chapter!! please feel free to send an ask on or off anon!! <3

authors thanks:

again, as usual, a HUGE thank you to @hobipaint for beta-reading this chapter!! your support and love is always so meaningful to me... couldn't ask for anything more!! also a thank you to @monvante for listening to me go on and on about this story-- forreal you put up with me and im so thankful for that!! can't put it into words!! thank you to @sanniesunn and @nightshadevinter for beta-reading for me as well!!

tag list: @monvante @moonchild1 @procrastination-queenie @hobipaint @jeonfiles @surilirani @dopedreamfireparty @vantezza @hantaev @audstylesgirl

please send in an ask if you like to be added to the tag list !!

also, if you are enjoying this story, please don’t hesitate to send me an ask (on or off anon) and let me know your thoughts, feelings, theories, etc!! i would love to hear from all of you!

"You ran??"

The scream-whispering of Jimin's usually soft voice has other customers staring, bringing on embarrassment as you plead with Jimin to keep it down… for the fourth time.

The Olio e Piú is packed with customers and sounds of sizzling food, ready to be devoured by the crowd, but Jimin's voice seems to be reaching their ears despite all of the noise. Ultimately, Jimin is too heated to eat the food placed in front of him by the waiter, who walks away with a weary glance in your direction.

You don't blame Jimin for being upset. You would be too if you were in his shoes, hearing that his best friend decided to run away from her one chance of finding a boyfriend. But, honestly, even you were inwardly cursing yourself.

Light dances around the room, with no shadows to be seen as the sun reflects on the snow outside, brightening the space with a shining aura. Chairs and tables that decorate the room are brown like those in the academia cafe, and the empty spaces are littered with flourishing plants. You briefly remember the green building coming into view on the way here, Jimin waiting for you in front with a black coat wrapped tightly around him, a red tint to his cheeks and nose as he smiled at you handsomely.

Now, you're staring at the snow-white wall, the chill outside wholly forgotten as soon as Jimin heard the news about last night. Now, you were blazing hot with embarrassment and remembrance of Taehyung's lips on yours. You're dragging your finger along the rim of your wine glass, which is filled with water, completely spaced out. You're not drinking a lick of alcohol for the next few days (you can still remember the awful taste after chugging that beer), even though you wish you could drown away last night.

You can still feel the ghosting touch of his fingertips against your face, like a soft feather tickling your skin. You can still remember the way he tasted: the vague flavor of mint that seeped into your lips and made you crave for more. You can still remember the proximity of him being so close to you. So, so close. Breathing hitched as the distance seemed to get smaller and smaller. The thought of this causes a swarm of heat to travel to your stomach, heart fluttering in recollection of the moment he placed his hand on your hip, which still burns your skin even now beneath your brown woolen sweater.

It's not until Jimin snaps his fingers at you that the trance finally comes to an end, hurtling you back to reality. He's looking at you incredulously.

"Earth to Y/n?" Jimin sputters, dropping his fork onto his plate with a loud clack!

At the start of lunch you were quiet, not wanting to admit the foolishness you presented last night. Jimin had immediately asked you what your problem was… he knew you too well. But unfortunately for him, you hadn't given him any context whatsoever, leaving a desperate Jimin staring at you with a 'hurry up and tell me already' expression on his face. Moments ago, the only thing you could voice was, "Taehyung kissed me, and I ran."

That was it.

Jimin sighs, collecting himself with a breath before he leans across the table to repeat himself in a quieter tone. "You ran?"

You nod.

"Why did you run?"

You shrug.

"You don't know?"

You nod once more.

It's like Jimin is speaking to a brick wall and expecting a response. You've been all too quiet since last night, even after you arrived home. You didn't cry. You didn't overthink. You didn't even slam your head into the pillow and come up with twenty different scenarios which could have gone better. You just sat there on your bedroom floor like the heap of dirty laundry that stoops in the corner of your room waiting to be washed. You were expecting to be kicking your blanket up at the memory in embarrassment. Instead, you sat there with absolutely no expression before finally reaching the cold shell of your sheets and falling into a restless sleep.

"I just…" You begin, looking down when a low hum echoes from your wine glass, stemming from your finger running against its rim. "I didn't know what to do, Jimin. I've never kissed or been kissed before…."

You briefly remember the one time you got close to kissing someone. In the first grade, a boy named Sam helped you up after you fell off the monkey bars. He told you that the only way to repay him was by kissing him on the cheek.

You panicked and ran that day too.

"I guess I panicked." You mutter.

Jimin's features soften, kind eyes watching your ministrations on the wine glass. He obviously senses your discomfort, even if he doesn't say so out loud. Jimin easily reads people, which is something you've always been thankful for. He changes his demeanor to a comforting one when he utters the next question. "Have you talked to him since then?"

No. You haven't. It's been eating at you all night, to the point where you had hardly gotten two hours of sleep— which was probably the primary source of your lack of words and the bags that hang below your eyes. What are you supposed to say when you know you're in the wrong — what are you supposed to do when the one person you want to hold onto is the one person you had pushed away?

"No… I haven't." you finally shake your head, defeated.

Jimin breathes, sitting back slightly before sparing a glance at his food. He ignores it for the fifth time and lifts his focus back to you. That's another thing you love about having a friend like Jimin; he's always willing to listen and get invested in the conversation -- even to the point of forgetting to eat the food set before him, which sits helplessly on his plate.

"You definitely need to call him." He orders.

"What am I supposed to say?" You scoff, lowering the octave of your voice for effect. "Sorry for running away after you kissed me. I'm an idiot and a coward, and I don't know how to handle romantic things!"

"I mean… you could say that." Jimin monotonously responds, twisting pasta around his fork.

You look unamused. This doesn't go unnoticed by the now grinning Jimin sitting across from you. He continues, "What did the two of you talk about before he kissed you?"

For a moment, you hesitate. Does Jimin know about Taehyung's ex? Of course, it isn't your place to spill the truth. Then again, Taehyung probably wouldn't mind all that much, considering it's Jimin you're talking to.

Who cares? Taehyung probably already hates you anyway.

"He told me about his ex…." You reveal.

Jimin looks perturbed. "His ex?"

"Yeah," You take a breath, digging the fork tines into a piece of meat. "She passed away a little over a year ago. He was talking about her after I told him about my failed audition, attempting to inspire me to keep going."

"Wait… the video audition you sent in? Did it not go well?"

You don't respond, lifting the food to your mouth as you avoid Jimin's questioning stare. While you felt awful for abandoning Taehyung, a part of you seemed to forget about that haunting letter. You didn't want to talk about that right now… not after everything that happened. You already had one thing weighing on you, and if another weight was added, you might as well be crushed into smithereens.

Since when has your life become a stress hole?

Jimin seems to connect the dots on his own, huffing out a breath of annoyance before he reaches to take a sip of his water. "The casting directors are the ones who failed."

It's quiet for a moment as he drinks, shaking his head. You're thankful for his words, a spark of hope sinking its way into your heart. Maybe you weren't the problem in the audition situation… but you were definitely the problem in the Taehyung situation.

"Anyway, Taehyung was talking about how in love with her he was… I felt awful." You add, looking down at the lonely piece of meat in the middle of your plate. Much like how you felt last night. Alone and overheated. "He doesn't deserve to lose someone like that."

"I didn't even know he dated since he's been here," Jimin says, his expression confused, evident from his knitted eyebrows and pursed lips. "Why did he hide that from me?"

"I think he hid it from everyone." You attempt to ease Jimin's mind. You knew they were friends, but you didn't realize just how close they were. They must be, considering Jimin's punched-in-the-gut appearance at the notion of his friend not being open with him. "I shouldn't have told you, I'm sorry… that's not my place," you add.

Jimin waves your concern away, distracting himself with a noodle that nearly falls off his plate, reaching just in time to catch it. You still feel bad. You've been feeling bad for a lot of things lately, and it seems not to be letting up.

"Despite having an ex," Jimin continues, the light in his voice returning, "Taehyung talks about you all the time. Like to the point that it gets annoying." He smiles, placing his fork atop his plate to fully look at you. "Also, whenever we're in journalism class together, everything he writes and draws is you. Just the other day, he drew a stage. Another, he drew someone singing. He even drew a "BROADWAY" sign — it's all you."

But it's probably not you. You instantly remember the fact that his ex was a musical theatre performer too. You haven't even reached the point of actual performance in the city yet… so it must be that she is the muse of those drawings. For some reason, that fact makes your heart sink.

What if Taehyung only likes you because you remind him of his ex? What if you're a rebound after everything that happened? You can't blame him, especially after losing someone so special; it's natural to want that kind of person again so they can fill the hole that the other left behind. Still, it doesn't make you feel any better.

"His ex did theatre, too." You voice quietly.

Jimin doesn't respond right away, but he leans forward and attempts to meet your eye. "Okay. And? He still talks about you constantly. How talented you are, how kind you are, how much he misses you on days that he can't go to the cafe." Jimin laughs. "That man has got it bad."

That's when you remember Taehyung's comment about your talent on the rooftop.

He lets out a breath, gathering your hands tighter within his grasp. "Yes, but you're not like everyone. You're insanely talented."

You stare at him, not amused. "You've never heard me sing."

Taehyung seems to stop at this, inhaling quietly as if you've just unveiled a deep secret of his. You feel his finger twitch in nervousness before he speaks again. "Jimin showed me a video."

Stealing yourself as you lower your voice in question. "By the way, did you send Taehyung a video of me singing?"

Jimin pauses, confusion seeping into his features. "No, I didn't.. why?"

Oh. Now you're even more confused.

Why would Taehyung lie about hearing you sing? If he has heard you, how did he get a video in the first place, and why would he lie about getting it from Jimin?

With a mewl-like sob, you place your head in your hands, rubbing your temples slowly in an attempt to calm your brain down. What if Taehyung wants to believe you're talented so that you can take place of the girl he loved most? What if he's being delusional— blinded by what he thinks is love just because you remind him of her?

"I'm probably just a replacement for his ex." You whine quietly, yet loud enough for the statement to reach Jimin's ears.

Jimin looks at you with disbelief. "I never even knew he had an ex, Y/N. He was always too busy talking about you." Jimin shrugs. "Listen, I've known Taehyung for a long time. He would never use you like that; it's just not who he is. He's probably realized that he can find someone just as amazing, and he's accepted fate and moved on. It's okay for him to find someone new after losing someone he loved… he deserves to be happy." He points at you with his fork. "And so do you."

You ponder on his words for a moment, letting them sink into your aching bones, which have grown weaker over the course of just a few days. People can indeed move on after losing someone. It's okay to fall in love again after a fallout, you know that-- it's just that Taehyung has been hurting more than you could ever imagine, and all you've done is complain about yourself. He never talked over you. He never brought it up once. He never expressed how much he was hurting.

And you felt extremely guilty.

You haven't seen Taehyung for the past week, much to your disappointment. Absolute radio silence. To say it's eating at you is an understatement, but lord knows you don't have the guts to reach out after what you did. You had hoped that maybe he would reach out to you, but you can't really blame him for not contacting you, especially after you ran away from him in the dead of night after he kissed you.

You're an absolute idiot.

That kiss still repeats in your head, over and over again. Especially late at night when you fantasize about what you could've fixed that night; how you could have stayed with him and kissed him back, embraced this newfound sprout of feelings that continues to bloom in your stomach day by day. You could be with him right now, right at this second. You could be holding his hand and feeling his embrace that you miss so much.

Instead, you're met with an empty cafe staring back at you as you wipe down the bar counters, sticky with syrup that strayed from the coffee cups. Taehyung hasn't come into the cafe either, and you miss seeing him pop his dark head of hair through the door with a smile. You miss the way he leans his hands on the counter, a sideways smile painting his features when you tease him about health violations.

You missed his little late-night pop-bys, where he would help you clean up or wipe down tables despite not even working here. He would express how he just wanted you to get home at a decent time, ignoring your protestations and flinging a dry rag at you when you continued to pester him.

You miss the late-night conversations over cups of coffee…

"So, this is a…?"

"A cookie dough latte." You explained, two cups placed into each of your hands as Taehyung stared down at the coffee, which was topped with cookie pieces. A litter of brown specks across the whipped cream surface.

Taehyung had spent the last couple nights with you taste-testing the following "flavors of the month" and offering up any form of feedback he could, much to your amusement. You couldn't bring yourself to tell him that you have no say in what flavor gets chosen for that month, allowing him to offer up future ideas anyway and filing them into your brain… just in case. He had a keen mind for brainstorming.

He took a careful sip, licking his lips in savory before he glanced at you with a shocked expression. You had to hold yourself back from laughing at the expression he wore. You couldn't stop your heart from jumping at the sight of his slight smile.

"Good?" You questioned.

"Amazing." He responded.

You smiled, reaching over to the cookie topping shaker and sprinkling some more atop the whipped cream of Taehyung's cup. He gasped quietly, pausing for dramatic effect before raising a hand over his heart and looking at you in adoration. "You're too good to me." He teased.

Later in the night, Taehyung walked you home with another cookie dough latte in his hand (which you made sure was decaf, or else he was never getting to sleep that night). It was the moment when a man on the sidewalk nearly rammed into you, Taehyung gripping onto your hand and pulling you against his chest before you had the chance to collide with said man. His heart was beating rapidly as you stood there, not making an effort to leave his embrace just yet, despite the passerby apologizing and continuing on his way.

You enjoyed the feeling of his arm around you, holding you gently and carefully before asking if you were alright. You felt like you were in heaven for a moment... embracing the feeling as much as you could and stalling the inevitable parting. Once you finally slid slowly out of his embrace, you turned your head to thank him, a blush evident on your cheeks.

You remember the way the two of you never separated your hands the rest of the walk home, only breaking when you finally walked through the door of your apartment, leaving a smiling Taehyung behind.

You miss that smile.

You miss him.

You resume wiping down the counters littered with speckles of coffee splatters, cursing yourself for daydreaming about him for the hundredth time today. This was absolutely pathetic. If Taehyung wants to make up with you, he'll reach out, and everything will b-

Ding!

Your head shoots up, eyes finding a dark head of hair, brown coat, and a scarf that covers nearly the entirety of this man's face. The heart that beats within your chest has suddenly raised its pace, your hand clenching your rag as the man removes the scarf, unleashing his identity.

Is it Taehyung?

Your heart drops to the sewers (where rats are probably eating it) when you realize that it wasn't the man you were hoping it would be. You offer the stranger a small greeting, taking his order and sending him out with his hot coffee before it's finally time to lock up the cafe. That man is entirely unaware of the pain he brought into your already aching heart.

You guess you won't be seeing Taehyung today… again.

Before you exit the cafe, a small piece of text on the wall catches your attention.

"What we should fear the most is fearing what we shouldn't." - Craig D. Lounsbrough.

Later that night, you attempt to reach out to Taehyung. You want to at least apologize for everything... to make sure he knew that this had nothing to do with him and everything to do with you being cowardly.

[To: taehyung] hey.. can we talk? |

[To: taehyung] hey.. ca|

[To: taehyung]

[To: taehyung] i just wanted to say sorry for running

away…|

[To: taehyung] i just wanted t|

[To: taehyung]

[To: taehyung] hey |

[To: taehyung]

You sigh, softly dropping your phone face down on the mattress beneath you. The gentle pitter-patter of the rain on your bedroom window is the only thing keeping your mind from running completely haywire, holding onto it by a string. You enjoyed the rainfall, always have— it has a calming aspect that you are grateful for.

You wish that this calming shower could give you some ideas on what to say to Taehyung… but no avail. The most it's helped you do is type and delete everything that you attempted to send, only resulting in a blank text box and an added weight on your heart. Is he overthinking too? Does he think that you hate him like you think he hates you? Or is he not thinking about anything regarding the situation? You don't know.

You wonder what he's doing right now, trying to think back to your last conversation with him… maybe he mentioned that he was going to be busy? Perhaps that's why he hasn't reached out? You know this isn't the truth. He wasn't reaching out because you probably made him feel like you didn't like him.

Which you're starting to realize, you do.

You really like him.

That's what makes his absence so much harder, and the fact that you denied your feelings and ran away that night only makes you feel worse.

You're pacing your living room in your giraffe slippers when you finally decide enough is enough, determined to distract yourself from everything that has happened the past couple of weeks, drowning your sorrows in a glass of wine and a bag of Doritos. Healthy. You plop down on your couch, resting your aching feet on the white coffee table as "In The Soop" plays in the background.

It's your favorite show; seven best friends who get lost in the middle of the woods and have to figure out how to survive until help comes around. You smile to yourself, embracing the fact that you're finally in your comforting element.

When you were younger, you used to venture out into the woods of your hometown, your old best friend glued to your heels as the trees rushed past you in your haste. You used to pretend to be lost, building a fort out of old sticks and tree branches so the two of you could "survive" out in the "wilderness," knowing full well that your house was only a mere mile away. When this TV show was released, it took you back full swing to your past, comforting you from everything this world might have thrown against you.

Now, everything was being thrown at you, so name a better time to watch it again.

It was working for a moment, taking the heavy ache of your heart away for a moment before your head sunk back into the couch, drowsiness overtaking you. Then in a few moments, you were fast asleep.

You're dreaming.

The woosh of trees are blurring past you as the vent in the car throws cool air on your face. You feel content, the speed of the vehicle and the soft rain falling against the windshield lulling you to a dreamy state. You take a moment to look at the song's name on the radio, which whispers all around you like a soft-spoken secret. "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron. You smile, soft and sweet, as a warm hand gently rubs atop your thigh with a feather-like touch.

You look to the side, met with Taehyung's side profile, his own hair being tousled by the air. He's wearing a small smile, rubbing against your skin so softly as he sings quietly along with the music, his voice hypnotizing and gentle, pulling you even further into complete bliss. You admire the way his head tilts when he looks at a highway sign, navigating his way through the busy roads at a pace that feels slower than the speed limit.

He doesn't want you to go just yet.

Your eyes fall back onto the horizon, seeing your exit up ahead as Taehyung sighs at the sight.

“Exit 7, Laguardia Airport.”

Suddenly, you're standing in front of the Security Check in the airport. People around you remove their loose items, placing their phones into gray bins as they're run through a scanner. There's a light feeling in your chest, excitement seeping into every crevice of your bones and forcing a large smile onto your lips. Every bit of this experience reminds you of your destination, causing your smile to widen even more.

"Don't look so excited to leave me." Taehyung teases, softly pinching your arm before he bends down to remove his shoes.

"I'm not excited for that part." You huff out a breath, removing your own slippers and placing them into one of the bins. Your phone, small carry on and your jewelry follows. Taehyung's items soon are placed beside yours, his hand grazing your arm before a gentle kiss is placed on your neck. You smile as you turn towards the metal detector.

"Tae, stop it." You laugh gently, removing his warm arms that have now snaked around your waist, your heart fluttering at the sensation.

"I won't be able to do this for a while… let me." He says solemnly, the smile on your face faltering slightly before he kisses you again and resumes his placement around you, dragging his hands against your skin. He breathes in, releasing a slow sigh beside your ear.

You love him.

Another time jump, and now you're standing in front of Gate 38; Taehyung's arms are still around you as you glance at the family sitting together across from you. The children are playing games on the floor as the parents speak tiredly amongst themselves, holding hands. You smile at the sight, appreciative of the little things that seem to keep falling before you today, making you even more thankful for everything you have. Taehyung kisses your head, nuzzling you sweetly as he whispers in your ear.

"No matter how much I'll miss you, I am so so excited." He says, the smile on his lips evident with the lilt in his voice. "You're going to do so well. I'm so proud of you."

You close your eyes, soaking in every piece of his voice while you still can. When he speaks, the low timbre gives you goosebumps, dragging you under his spell and making you curse the plane that is now pulling up to the gate. You were only going to be gone for a month, but it was strange... it was as if you were never coming back. Something was telling you to cling to him for a little while longer. To love him as much as you can. Do not let this moment go to waste.

"I love you." You say softly, almost inaudible, for the first time.

Taehyung pauses, silent and still. You wince, thinking that he might not have been ready to hear that statement, but he's hastily turning you around and staring at you with an unreadable emotion. In an instant, he leans forward quickly, his hand falling behind your neck as he drags you toward him for a kiss.

You're now standing in front of the gate; the line you're waiting in is beginning to board. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, thundering against your ribs like a wild storm in a quiet town. You can't believe this is happening. You can't believe you're about to achieve everything you've ever wanted.

The moment to scan your boarding pass comes all too quickly, causing you to turn towards Taehyung, his hands automatically finding your own when you look up at him.

"I'll see you in a month, okay?" You say quietly, offering him a teary smile.

He's smiling back at you, his own tears lining the bottom of his eyes as he leans in and meets your lips once again. His lips are soft and sweet, breath fresh like a thoroughly watered garden. He pulls back slightly, bumping his nose against yours affectionately. "I can't wait to hear about your success, Y/N… I'll be cheering from the front row." He pecks your lips once, twice. "Don't forget about me, or I might lose it."

You scoff, a laugh bubbling up and out of you. "How could I?"

He grins, kissing you one more time, longer and deeper.

"I love you." He whispers.

If you thought your heart was fluttering before, it's nothing compared to now. Now, you can feel every single beat of the butterflies wings that are enrapturing you and making you dread leaving even more. You feel his grasp loosen on you, turning you around and sending you in the opposite direction with a soft "go go go, you'll be late" leaving his lips. Like a promise to be waiting for your return.

It's when you nearly round the corner that he calls your name, drawing your gaze back to his. He's holding up finger hearts, an excited smile gracing his lips that you wish were back on yours. You'll see him soon, you know. But you can't help but feel like you might never taste him again.

With a laugh and a shake of your head, you continue walking, waving to him as his figure finally falls out of your range of sight. You continue down, feeling as if a part of you is already missing.

You awake slowly, the sound of In The Soop's title track playing softly on your tv speakers. You remember where you are, slowly realizing that it was all a dream, and now you're drowned in reality. It feels as if a deep hole has been dug into your heart, a part of you wanting to dive back into that dream and be with Taehyung again. It was so real…

But now, the harsh truth of never having that with Taehyung is more real than ever.

The last bit of your dream gave you deja vu, remembering the sound of him calling your name when you left him on the rooftop. Only during that time, it bothers you that you didn't turn back around. It would be best if you had turned around… maybe he would've smiled at you like he did in your dream. Maybe he would have held your hand and told you that he would wait for you.

Maybe you wouldn't feel so empty like you do now.

You see Taehyung the next day.

It's for a split second that you think you might be dreaming again, but the pinch to your arm proves to you that this is real. He's walking through the doors, his eyes downcast and his hands hidden inside a brown coat tucked snugly around him. You nearly lose your breath at the sight of him. Having not seen him for a few weeks, his appearance knocks your senses out of you until you can only stand there and stare.

He’s so… beautiful.

He looks up timidly, your eyes bulging as if he has the power of reading your mind. He’s walking farther into the cafe before his steps falter the second he meets your eyes. You must look surprised; you can feel your cheeks flushing and stomach twisting in tiny little deathly knots. Your eyes hold each other's gaze for a moment, and you're able to soak in those chocolate brown optics that you've missed so much.

To your dismay, he looks away quickly and lowers his gaze again with an unreadable expression before he picks up his pace and ascends towards the counter.

He's coming this way. You can feel his aura encompassing you as he takes steps towards you.

Before he reaches you, he turns, catching you off guard when he avoids your questioning stare and walks up to Jimin on the bar. Your heart sinks into your stomach.

He's avoiding you… and why wouldn't he? You want to stroll up to him and explain yourself, tell him that you were stupid and shouldn't have left-- but you can't move. You can't think straight.

"Jimin." He calls softly, catching Jimin's attention behind the counter. Taehyung looks tired-- as if he hasn't been sleeping. Bags hang beneath his eyes (much like your own), pulled down by a noticeable weight, and you can practically feel and see the wall he's putting between you. "Would you mind coming over after your shift to talk about the project? I need some feedback."

Jimin seems to take in his appearance at the same time you do, his eyebrows cinching in concern before he nods. "Of course I can." Jimin pauses, leaning forward a bit with a hushed tone. "Are you o-?"

"I'm fine. Thank you, I'll see you soon." He smiles a forced smile before turning, wandering back towards the doors without sparing you a second glance. You can't help but feel punched in the gut, your stomach twisting into those cursed tiny knots again. Only this time, it was out of sheer disappointment. Taehyung bounds out into the bustling city streets before disappearing into the crowd within a blink of an eye. Were you even seeing him correctly? Was he here at all? He was, but only for a mere moment… and you want him to come back.

Jimin turns to look at you, an apologetic expression on his face as he offers a slight shrug, resuming his process of making a latte. You can see him shaking his head as he bites his lower lip in thought. You wonder what he might be thinking right now. Maybe his thoughts would patch up the holes in your heart that seem to get bigger and bigger as the days go on. At this point, you don't have any more room in your brain to dissect Taehyung's quick visit just now. You just wish he would talk to you.

And you wish you could bring yourself to do the same.

It's nine o'clock in the evening, yet here you are, making cookies despite your early shift tomorrow morning at the cafe.

Coping mechanism.

Truth be told, you were more than willing to call out and have a day to yourself. You were always one to bask in your sadness. Eating and watching sad movies while crying into a bowl of ice cream? That sounded like a beautiful day off to you. Unbeautiful for you, you know that two people have already called out tomorrow; there was no way you were getting your shift covered. You needed the money anyway. And the distraction.

The warm smell of the cookies travels throughout your tiny apartment, which is decorated in dark browns, whites, and greens. The coziness of your apartment has always helped soothe you... maybe that's why you spent so much time at home, alone. You were going for a 'light academia' look when you first moved in, and thanks to Jimin's keen eye for interior design, you like to think it was successful. The tiny kitchen is decked out with dough, pans, and utensils -- dirtying your freshly cleaned counter that you spent time scrubbing just yesterday.

Cleaning. Another coping mechanism.

It isn't until you hear the chime of your laptop that you set the cookie dough bowl down, much to your stomach's dismay, since you've been sneaking bites of the raw cookie dough into it throughout your culinary extravaganza. You work your way to your small circular dining room table, plopping down in the wooden seat. The city view below sits quietly.

Email from: Film Out Theatre

Subject: Audition Opportunity.

What the hell?

Your heart staggers as you sit up straighter, breath hitched. We're you reading correctly?

Audition? Opportunity? You finally inhale, 1. because if you didn't, you'd probably end up passing out (breathing is kind of important), and 2. you did not want to get too excited… this could be just a scam. Even scammers were playing with you now. Typical.

From: [email protected]

To: officialY/NY/L/[email protected]

Date: November 20th, 2022

Subject: Audition Opportunity

Dear Y/N Y/L/N,

My name is Hyun Do-yun, a director here at Film Out Theatre in London. We are currently casting for an upcoming West End production called "The Eternal" that opens in only six months. Due to casting issues, we are looking for a hardworking actress to take on the lead role.

The lead role… The lead role?! On West End?? Your eyes bulge, heart leaping up into your throat as you reread the letters on the screen with wide eyes. You feel dizzy. Maybe the cookie dough wasn't such a good idea at this time of night. It was already making you jittery, and now this was just fueling the fire.

You stare at him for a moment, awestruck by the weight of his words. “But,” he adds, turning back towards the wind, “the ones who never give up and continue to chase that dream can become successful. Despite all of the no’s they might face, they always hold on till they hear a yes. That sounds like true success to me.

The night you truly got to know Taehyung seems to be replaying in your brain. You held on. This might finally be your yes. Without a second thought, your hands are hastily reaching for your phone to dial Taehyung's number.

He's not going to believe this!

It's the moment your thumb is hovering over the call button that you remember who Taehyung is to you now. He’s not the same boy who walked you home after game night. He was now a mere old friend that you turned down. A soft-spoken boy who you left on the rooftop in the middle of a cold winter night, alone. A person who probably does not want to speak to you.

You heave out a breath, placing your phone back down in disappointment in your reflexes. Why was everything about Taehyung these days? You look back at the email. The thought of Taehyung is not going to dampen your excitement. You won't let it. You've waited for this.

A good friend of ours who is currently opening a theatre in New York, named Kim Namjoon, reached out to us regarding you. They sent us a video of your talents, and we are pleased to inform you of our interest. We would like you to audition for the lead role of Olivia Daughny. I have attached a working copy of the script, along with the pages and sheet music I would like you to prepare for your audition.

The auditions will be online, so feel free to attach your video audition and we will consider you for in-person callbacks.

Due to the short notice, if you are unavailable to make it to the callbacks on December 16th here in London, we will have no choice but to look elsewhere. We hope you are able to visit during that time.

Please call me at 020-639-2747, or reply to this email if you are interested in auditioning for the role.

Thank you so much for your interest in working with the Film Out Theatre.

Regards,

Hyun Do-yun

Film Out Theatre Company Manager

[email protected]

020-639-2747

You can't breathe.

The bowl of cookie dough is long forgotten as you shoot up from your seat. A shrill shriek escapes your lips as you jump up and down, breathing restricted from your excitement — you wouldn't be surprised if your face is bright red like a tomato right now. You take a moment to recuperate, resting your hand on your chest before you sit back down and reread the email.

Is this actually happening?

Don't get ahead of yourself, Y/N... be professional.

Your fingers are shaking when you press reply.

Dear Hyun Do-yun,

Hello, my name is Y/N Y/L/N. Thank you so much for contacting me and giving me such a wonderful opportunity! I will gladly send a video audition for the role and will be available for callbacks on December 16th if needed.

Thank you again!

With appreciation, Y/N Y/L/N.

The little girl who dreamed of being on the big stage is erupting inside of you, blowing bubbles and dancing within your stomach like you used to while alone in your room. You're trying to remind yourself that you haven't gotten the role yet. Do not get your hopes up. But this was the closest you've gotten to a rewarding audition since you moved here; how could you not be elated?

"A good friend of ours who is currently opening a theatre in New York, named Kim Namjoon, reached out in regards to you."

Kim Namjoon.

That was the man who's opening up Kim's Theatre. You vaguely remember his tall stature, collecting every bit of attention from the intrigued reporters who followed his every move. You remember Taehyung's eyes lit up when Namjoon uttered a catching phrase. You remember the smile on Taehyung's face when he heard something he enjoyed. You remember the concern spread across those same features when he saw you patiently waiting.

The child within you seems to be slowing down in remembrance of the person whose contact is still resting patiently on your phone screen. Finally able to sit in your seat, your hands reach for that same phone once more.

You want to text him.

Just text him!

But he's probably still really upset with you.

Don't text him!

You take a breath, opening up a new message.

[To: Jimin ☕️] guess who got an audition opportunity from a west end director ?????? for a west end show ????? for the lead ????? because they are interested in me ?????

With a warm smile present on your face again, you look at your email response and read it over, making sure you're not missing anything. Finally, you take a breath and move the mouse over the send button.

This is your moment.

This is what you've waited for.

Email Sent.

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