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#главный каноник ( headcanons. )
brklynlost · 3 years
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everyone: yells at bucky about his smoking habit bucky: lights another cigarette while making eye contact like the petty cat he is
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brklynlost · 3 years
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gratuitous comic panel to remind everyone that alpine is very canon on this blog and we love one wintery cat
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brklynlost · 3 years
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𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐑  -- 𝘱𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮
the cracks of bones were just the beginning.  he could have been salt on the earth, still alive as the wolves began to rip him apart limb from limb and it would have been less painful than their experiments.  gloved hands ripped his arm from him           (  lacking the medical technology yet to fully numb the nerves of his shoulder, though perhaps they HAD IT and didn’t care to try to use it  )                    and they replaced it with the grinding of gears which creak and break more than the cervical bones of the neck when releasing tension.  they think this is it -- they’ve made their weapon and he will be THEIRS.
perhaps they think because he was so keen on obeying orders before, he’d simply comply without much work.
                                   THEY WERE WRONG.
they freeze him for weeks, the expression locked in his eyes that no one stares at as they’ve hidden him deep away from prying eyes of even their own soviet spies.  the world war is over, and another war brews deep in the underground catacombs of soviet countries.  while an ALLY to the nations in one war, mother russia has always been keen on selling itself to the LIKLIEST winner.  zola is back, and s h i e l d forms with each of hydra’s heads still in place below.
the first time they take him out, he rages.  there is no ANGER like a soldier who still longs for the world above.  he doesn’t know yet that BUCKY BARNES will not see the light of day        (  and a much more sinister form of him still will  )             for decades.  all he knows is that names still linger on his lips.
STEVE. . .  BECCA. . . HOWARD. . . DUGAN. . . JAQUES. . . MONTGOMERY. . . MORITA. . . JONES. . .
for better or worse, he hangs onto the people who have meant more to his survival.  the scientists aren’t sure what to do.  shouldn’t the shock of the loss of his arm and the freeze of the ice started to numb his mind for them?  it is zola who first suggests they try other MEANS of separating barnes from the soldier.
electroshock therapy is still legal above ground, isn’t it?
they shock him and freeze him over and over again.  sometimes weeks go by between the attempts, and sometimes it is MONTHS.  he doesn’t know that the year is 1950 when things finally start to change.
STEVE. . . BECCA. . . HOWARD. . . DUGAN. . . JAQUES. . .
the list of names that linger on his lips has shortened, leaving a SMILE on his torturers. he hasn’t destroyed parts of their lab in an escape attempt in a YEAR.  something is working.  this experiment is worth their time.
another shock.  another freeze.                   “  как тебя зовут солдат?  ”
where there used to be an answer, there is now silence.  he is not searching.  not hoping to find his people.  you can’t remember what didn’t exist.
of course, he still DOES remember, and with blood on his hands he comes back in 1951 from an attempt gone wrong at taking the life of isaiah bradley.  he has failed his first mission.  and they find him resisting to come back.
STEVE. . . BECCA. . . HOWARD. . .
another shock.  another freeze.  a longer one.  they need a new strategy.
he comes out of the ice to train.  he doesn’t remember his own name.  he is a ghost, name belong to the living.  and yet he STILL recalls the faces of his former friends.  they find that they can’t leave him off the ice for more than a few hours before he is screaming and fighting still.
STEVE. . . BECCA. . .
years of shocking.  freezing.  fighting.  training.  he has missions, but comes back with names on his lips.  they are not lost to him -- they need something else.  something to FORCE the soldier to comply.
in 1963 there is a book that passes into the hands of the wrong people on the uses of hypnosis.  they do not know what trigger words may do to their soldier.  it could make him comply. . . or it could make him destroy them.
the scientists take a risk.  he is too important.  they need him.  so they secure him, ready to send him out into the world.  ready to wipe him if necessary.  the words they pick simply make sense.  the order makes even more sense.
Желание. . . Семнадцать. . . Ржавый. . . Рассвет. . . Печь. . . Девять. . . Добросердечный. . . Возвращение на родину. . . Один. . . Товарный вагон.
“  солдат?  ”                    “  готов подчиниться.  ”
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brklynlost · 3 years
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𝐏𝐓𝐒𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐌
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when james buchanan barnes was seven years old, he tried his first sip out a beer bottle from his father.  it wasn’t as though it was the most DELICIOUS thing in the world. . . but he could see it on the face of his dad after the loss of his wife and two small children.  beer, and HARDER drinks, were simply a coping mechanism.  easy to get to, even in prohibition times, and not at all worth a fuss.
he grew up knowing that alcohol could be a cure for his ailments.  a tired day at the factory?  grab a drink.  becca’s sick and in need of a way to forget a little of that pain? drink time.
get drafted? have a few drinks.
no one called you an alcoholic back then.  hell -- if they called bucky one they may as well plop on a few more titles to him.  losing two sisters at a young age, and a mother not long after?  losing his father             (  a man he would ALWAYS look up to  )               before he turned sixteen?  he suffered from losses no one should, and he always took them in stride.
it was a barnes thing.  they took things in stride.
and then the war came.
maybe if he had just been a prisoner of war it would have been fine.  probably not, but at least he would have come home from the war and been around people for a while.  his fight would have ended and he could have figured out how to survive.
yet the war that came second was only that much worse.
to say that bucky suffered is an understatement.  he doesn’t try to claim that anything that has come beyond his time with the 107th and then HYDRA has been a healthy way to survive.  in his desperate attempts to piece together the lines between james buchanan barnes and the winter soldier, he finds himself spending two years alone going from place to place based on the NIGHTMARES of his memories.  he touches the places he killed.  the lack of sleep. . . the urge to fight back at himself. . . it leads him to the same place most vets go.
a stiff drink                        (  russian vodka is always his preference, but anything will do  )             and a wall to stare at.  if he could find someone to commiserate with then he WOULD. . . but there simply isn’t another              (  living  )             winter soldier.
it CERTAINLY doesn’t help that for every drink he puts in his body, his metabolism punishes him by never allowing him to feel the numbness he’d once needed in a small brooklyn apartment in the 1940s.  he longs for it, wants to feel the reward after all of the PUNISHMENT done to him.  the more it settles in that he won’t feel it, the more the drinking feels like it’s own self induced PUNISHMENT. . .
it’s a never ending cycle.  it stops for only a few short years while he finds peace in wakanda.
the dora milaje train him.  they help him come to terms with his demons.  shuri and t’challa offer him a kind of peaceful existence that no amount of VODKA would ever have granted him.  the high he chased in a bottle was given to him with fresh air.  he finally had a feeling of relief.
and war began again.
while his series of ANDS have finally come to a halt             (  though they are by no means finished yet  )              bucky’s looking now for that peace he once got, safe in the wakandan country limits.  he tries AGAIN to find it, burying himself in BOTTLE AFTER BOTTLE of whatever liquid he can get his hands on.  still, no reprieve.  still, the nightmares are there with a VENGANCE, and no one to ease him into a good night’s sleep with roots and herbs and hands to hold.
if anything, after the infinity war, after losing the high he’d longed for, he’s only hit a further rock bottom.  how does a man still so desperate to understand his own mind       (  still plagued by the understanding he may NEVER find it  )          come to terms with the fact that he can’t get a sweet release?  from anything?
he tries to drown himself in any way he can.  it’s easier to blame a bottle for his suffering, than to blame the atrocities of his own mind            (  created by his own hands or not, they will plague him for the rest of his days  )
perhaps one day he’ll find a healthy way to experience his life.  he’s simply not there.
(  SO i also think it’s important to note:  bucky CAN’T get drunk, so he will never PRESENT the way we think an alcoholic does.  he can consume copious amounts of booze, and it WON’T change his behavior.  it does not stop him from being an alcoholic as he is STILL dependent on the booze in hopes that it will make him feel better.  )
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brklynlost · 3 years
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐑   --  𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮
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the first time the winter soldier enters the red room, it is to allow the soldier to begin to build a connection the room.  not to the widows or the wolfspiders.  SIMPLY the building itself.  the underground catacombs of the bolshoi theatre are dark and unnerving         (  simply not a place for anything but the sinister program of the kgb  )               which has left too many of the unnamed soldiers to fall despite the fealty to their country.  this JOB, as it is to them, is not for the weak of heart.  only those with a KILL COUNT are allowed to maintain the winter soldier at all.
he enters the room when it is necessary, and only necessary.  the combination of electric shock therapy and cryogenics have created a near perfect way to keep him maintained.  if they take him out of cryostasis too long, the effects of the freeze on his brain will begin to wear off.  they experience this for the first time after the use of hypnosis when they introduce him to BALLET training with the girls.  each one younger than the next, the soldier is there to steady the hands and foster grace in their falls and reflexes.
they allow him a moment too long in training, they realize he is bound to turn on them.  the first time he falters, he shatters the mirror that lingers on the wall.
WIPE HIM.  FREEZE HIM.  AGAIN.
in the beginning he is but a whisper -- a trainer for the more elite of the widows.  an example for the wolfspiders.  no one would KNOW if he is the same man when they are seven as when they graduate at eighteen.  for a while, training the spiders becomes all he knows.  the MUSCLE MEMORY built upon day in and day out             (  with weeks or months between  )             of ballet, of murder.  his skills are honed alongside them, in the beginning.  the years begin to pass, and in between his skills are tested.  hydra requires one thing from their soldier.  the kgb requires another.  it is a delicate balance of give and take, always being careful not to allow him too much time out of the ice.
as time began to progress, he remained a whisper and then a GHOST.  he wouldn’t appear with the widows or the spiders for an entire generation of recruits, and then SUDDENLY he’d be there again, holding the waist of the twirling ballerinas as they honed each of their skills.  of course, with new girls came new HANDLERS for them all -- including new agents of both HYDRA and the kgb.
sometimes those agents got sloppy.
enter natalia romanova.
their story is not one of love.  not here, not in the confines of a torture chamber that seems to SIMPLY create a desire for something more.  no -- it may, however, be a story of hope.  of FLEETING feelings that latch onto the soul of the man buried deep beneath the machine’s gears that have so long ago taken place of his heart.  she is kind, in her own way.  a graceful girl who grows into a most beautiful woman, and an incredibly talented agent.
they simply work well together.  he WATCHES her moves and he counters them in the field.  the agents forget the instructions left for them -- do not let him form any connections to humankind.
it is a mistake that they do not pay for nearly as dearly as he does.
a complete reset.  not just a moment or a week in stasis, but MONTHS of lost time.  all the while, coming out only to be shocked back into submission.
hydra no longer trusts the kgb agents to do THE RIGHT THING with their soldier.  they begin housing him elsewhere, moving him between THE RED ROOM and other important locations.  while he will train other spiders, his time as a red room operative is no longer of priority.
he is back to being the FIST OF HYDRA.
(  red room doc created by @alyyvdova​ !  )
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brklynlost · 3 years
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i’m about to write a more in depth post about training and things, but i want to remind everyone that:
sergeant james buchanan barnes of the 107th regiment was the BEST sharp shooter sniper the united states army had ever seen.
that skill didn’t go away.  it just got getter.  we see bucky with hand guns and knives a lot but let it be remembered that he is also a long range assassin and that isn’t a skill taught to him by the enemy, it is a skill he honed in the united states army.
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brklynlost · 3 years
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on this fine sunday let me remind you that both mentally and physically b.ucky is DISABLED complete with the physical loss of his arm  (which he now has a sincere lack of feeling from the metal arm even though he has MORE feeling now than he did with the original one)  and coupled with the severe levels of ptsd he suffers from both the actual traumas of WWII and then ALSO the traumas of. . . everything since then.
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brklynlost · 3 years
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Bucky is not a romantic but he IS the most invested partner. He doesn’t fall in love easily or quickly but when he does it is worth waiting a whole lifetime.
He simply deserves the softness he craves beneath his jaded exterior.
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brklynlost · 3 years
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𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓
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the red room did not teach the widows and wolf spiders ballet for performance.  the goal of their ballet training was to teach them the grace they would need in the field.  when the headmistress received access to the winter soldier as an asset to training her widows, she decided it best to not only train him in the art of their specific brand of espionage, but fill his erased mind with another new skill.
she taught him ballet.
his first dance partner was natalia romanova.  his very last was yelena belova.  the intimate setting in which he worked with both of these widows has created the last memories       (  and desperate need for amends  )           that have brought them both back into his life.  they trained in dance, and they trained in the arts of the fight.  all of these skills are deeply intertwined.
ballet is OBVIOUS in his fighting style.  specifically in the way in which he can flip his body, and the lack of care he has for normally fear inducing tricks.  of course he has the addition of being made partially of metal, but he still has the taught ability to land on his feet should the situation call for it.  sometimes when he wants to train, he strips down and gives in to dance instead of going boxing.  though his training is usually a combination of running, ballet, and boxing.
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brklynlost · 3 years
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anon asked:  Headcanon question! I don't think in canon they mention this, but how much do you HC Bucky can perceive touch and sensations through his arm? We can tell that he has a lot of fine motor skills (beyond modern prosthetics), but does he have any sensation?
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pre warning: i will not shy away from talking about the gore associated with bucky’s arm here so read with caution!
oh i love this question.  i’ve actually thought about this a lot as i think it changes from arm to arm.  as we well know, the arm he has NOW is not the arm he had when we first see him reappear in winter soldier.  i think it is highly likely that this arm he has in winter soldier is not the same as the original arm put on him in 1943.  the scientists who worked on him spared no expense, and if they needed to rip an arm out and place a new one in its place they ABSOLUTELY had no qualms about the way the nerves on his shoulders were killed even more.
so this also spans back to my headcanon about the actual placement of the arm, which i haven’t written up so what a GREAT opportunity.  when bucky fell from the train, he was knocked unconscious both by the actual fall, and by the pain of his arm cracking in multiple places in his left hummerus.  there was no saving that arm         (  not that they wanted to save it in the first place  )            however, when arnim zola’s team found bucky in the snow, his arm was still attached to his body.  there were no breaks in any of the other hummeral bones.  he simply landed on his left hummerus, and his arm took most of the trauma.  he laid in the snow for hours before the team found him.  he retained massive nerve damage from the cold weather, before he was even thrown onto the operating table.
the scientists were not kind when they ripped his arm from it’s socket.  as they were trying to be further in control of his body, they ripped out working and unbroken bones from his arm.  the screams were deafening back then, and the story of the day he was turned into a metal monster is not one he ever tells.  to anyone.
he knows that they attached the arm to what was left of his nerves.  they tried to fuse metal to real tissue, and in doing so they tried to impress the metal into his very core.  in part they were successful -- in ways more advanced that a simple prosthetic, bucky is able to move the arm easily enough on his own quickly.  enough so that within weeks of torture and training, they are forced to put him into cryo because he beats one of their BEST SCIENTISTS into a bloody pulp.
(  there’s an anger that comes with ptsd but that’s for another day.  )
all of this to say, he had MINIMAL feeling in the actual metal back then.  it was still attached to him, and it was really a part of him.  he is unsure if he felt it because of this, or because of the way other amputees may describe a phantom limb.  both could be true.
they don’t replace the arm for decades.  it simply comes with the changes of technology.  with each replacement arm            (  unknown how many but it isn’t a lot  )               he looses more feeling.  the arm becomes a part of him in a different way.  it is just part of his nature.  he always knows it is there.  but it is important that it is a part of THE SOLDIER’S compliance orders, as by the time the arm is replaced the first time bucky barnes is a whisper he won’t remember again until he sees steve rogers on the bridge.
then there is the vibranium arm.
perhaps it is because vibranium is the strongest metal on earth, or maybe it is just because of the relationship formed between bucky and shuri while bucky lived in wakanda, but the arm he has now gives him an odd sense of understanding of feeling.  shuri was able to free his body of the grotesque grips of metal that blended into his shoulder, replacing it with a more stable support system for the arm that now can come on and off of his body.  she and bucky worked to understand it’s functions         (  the first time he put that arm on was NOT when he was about to go fight.  he simply didn’t want to leave it on while living his simple life.  )                and in turn he was able to “feel” it.  i don’t believe that feeling is real, but it is much more real than the phantom feeling that comes with other prosthetics. 
so he still can’t feel hot and cold because there are no nerves.  the arm itself can absorb the shock of, say, throwing himself out of a plane at 200 feet.  but he’s learned to understand it’s purpose as an arm and a weapon.  though the why and the how he has and got it are more nefarious, he knows he can use it NOW as a means to help himself explore in ways that having two arms he can feel everything with wouldn’t allow him.
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brklynlost · 3 years
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the languages bucky is fluent in:
1. English 2. Russian 3. Hebrew 4. South African Xhosa (language spoken in Wakanda in the MCU) 5. Czech 6. Ukrainian 7. Polish 8. Spanish 9. Portuguese 10. German 11. Latin 12. Japanese
He can pick up pretty much any other language, even if he isn’t fluent.  The reason he is fluent is either because of living in a location (English and South African Xhosa), he learned it in school (Latin), he started to learn it in the war and continued to use it as the Winter Soldier (German, Japanese, Polish), it was used for communication between the Winter Soldier and his commanders/fellow soldiers (Russian, Ukraninan, Polish), OR it was a necessary language in the countries he infiltrated as the Soldier (Czech, Portuguese, Hebrew).
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brklynlost · 3 years
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bucku is a badass in the streets and a softie in the sheets
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brklynlost · 3 years
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while he tries to introduce new pop culture into his daily life, there are a few things of his past that are still important in his current life:
- he prefers to listen to records, rather than more technological forms of music - he’s very into 30s, 40s and 50s music. it’s soothing, even if it came out AFTER he fell off the train. it’s the sound that does it for him. - he still prefers the style of fashion from the 40s. he’s adapted because he has to, but it’s a blend of both.
as far as tech goes, i fully agree that the flip phone is a burner phone, and he does have a smartphone.  he’s just very smart about how he uses it.  there’s 0 social media apps.  anything that might collect data is not there.  he just likes having the option to make video calls because he likes being face to face.
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brklynlost · 3 years
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bucky barnes did not choose to go to war.
he didn’t enlist.  he didn’t want this.  he didn’t choose to leave his sister and his best friend.  he isn’t some NATURAL born leader that was meant to be in the army.  he was a high school dropout who was working in the factories to put food on the table when all that he and becca and steve had were each other.  he made sure that becca got the medicines she’d need and that steve could make art as often as possible.  he gave up his real dreams because his people were more important.
his world would look a whole lot different if he hadn’t.
bucky barnes wanted to be a scientist when he grew up.  he had the skills.  even now he fixes his own arm when he’s on the run.  he worked with shuri to come up with the perfect combination of arm and body         (  none of this bullshit that he didn’t know what the arm could do i don’t buy that  )             and he owns himself.  he doesn’t have the knowledge, but he’s learned.  it’s helped that many of the world’s leading mad scientists worked on him and so his memory bank is full of tips and tricks to make robotic advancements before their time.
he could have been the next howard stark.
instead he gets drafted.  instead he goes with the 107th over enemy lines.  instead he becomes the nation’s best sniper.  instead he works with his buddies to try to save the day at steve’s lead.  instead he falls off a train and is forced to be a man out of his time.
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brklynlost · 3 years
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if you really want to set the mood for bucky, put on bandstand music, let him dance like he’s at a uso dance, and let him make love to you like it’s his last night on earth          (  because back then any night could have been.  )
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brklynlost · 3 years
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today is thinking about 1940′s buck crying by the river on his own after he gets his draft card and absolutely does not want to tell becca and steve but knows he has to hours.
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