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#· ˖  ✦ ⋄ . i write what i could never say. ❝ texts ❞
dreaming-medium · 2 days
Text
No Contact
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Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader
Word Count: 7.6k
Tags: ANGST with a happy ending, amnesia, memory loss, grief, pining, yearning, hurt/comfort
Summary: It was one of the worst car accidents the city has seen. You weren't supposed to be in that car, but you were. When you lose your memories from the incident, Chan is ordered to stay away for your recovery's sake; but it takes a larger toll on him than anyone could have imagined. Until one day, he just can't take it anymore.
A/N: inspired by this post. Angst ahoy <3 I had too much fun writing this. Maybe I like writing emotions. Enjoy <3
—————————————————————
No contact. That’s what Chan was told was best for you. That’s what was going to help your healing process. 
No contact whatsoever. No texts, no calls, no little surprise visits. No fucking contact. None. 
He was told it would just hurt you if he talked to you— that he would just make it worse. That you would only become more confused and upset. It would be absolutely detrimental for him to see you.
Hell, it might even make you worse. 
It’s killing Chan slowly. Every single day feels like torture for him. The days get exponentially worse. He feels like a hollow shell of his former self, like the wind goes through him when he steps foot outside. It feels like his shoulders are permanently sagged forward. 
But the worst part is that you don’t even know it. You don’t know how he’s collapsing inwards like a dying star. 
It was one of the worst car accidents the city has seen in years. A friend was driving you home that night; Chan had begged to be the one to pick you up, but no, you said it was fine, the friend was heading that way anyway. Why make the unnecessary trip?
You told him he needed sleep. Always putting his needs before your own. You always did. 
He should’ve put up more of a fuss. He should’ve put his foot down. He should’ve already been outside the house in his car with the passenger seat warmer on by the time you left that stupid party. 
He should’ve gotten out of the car and opened the door for you and had a cold bottle of water waiting in the cup holder. He should’ve kissed you on the cheek and asked you all about your time. He should have been there.
But he wasn’t. 
A drunk driver slammed into the passenger side of your friend’s car at a speed that you shouldn’t have even survived.
Miracles do happen, though. But what a price to pay for a miracle. 
For as long as he lives, Chan will never forget the sheer panic and terror he felt when the call came in from your mother. You were already at the hospital undergoing emergency surgery.
He was the last to know. 
After all, he wasn’t your emergency contact. He’s only your boyfriend.
Was. Was your boyfriend. Was? Is that the right word? He isn’t. But he is. There was no breakup. 
Is that what he’s going through right now? A breakup? 
You’re not on a break. But what is this? What is this loss? This severance is so horrible. 
It’s fucked up. It’s a fucked up, amnesia induced breakup. 
Memory loss is a funny thing. Doctors scratch their heads and shrug their shoulders without any answers. The brain is a tricky thing. 
Chan did what he was allowed to in that hospital. He sat in that stark white room under those harsh LED lights and he waited until you were awake. He even waited much longer after that because only two visitors were permitted inside your room at a time— and he wasn’t about to force his way in and kick one of your parents out. 
He let your sister go in first. He even let your cousin go in before him. But when it was finally his turn… 
He never got to see you. 
“The last five years?” Chan asked with a tight throat. Did he even have any more tears left to cry? How is there any liquid left in his body?
“She says doesn’t remember anything, Chan.” Your mother’s voice was just as hollow as his. “She was asking about her freshman roommate.”
A doctor stood in between him and your mom. “It’s best if we don’t throw everything at her at once. Amnesia victims rarely never get their memories back, but we’ve found that it needs to happen organically. Seeing her will overwhelm her and that could stunt the healing process.”
Chan’s mouth opened and closed several times but no words came out at all. His heart may have stopped. 
Does that mean…?
No…
“He can’t see her at all?” Your mother asked quietly. “Not even to visit? He doesn’t have to mention he’s her boyfriend, he can just say that he’s a friend, or a coworker, or—“
The doctor cut her off. “No contact. Not until we’re a bit through recovery and she’s starting to get her memories back.”
Chan was suddenly in a chair. 
When did he sit down? The Doctor’s hands were on his shoulders and he was looking down at him with a sympathetic stare.  
“It’s not forever, son.”
Chan was only able to nod. His mouth was so dry, the back of his neck felt clammy. His head was spinning.
Books often speak of moments as ‘Earth-shattering’. Of moments so catastrophic that the planet stops spinning on its axis and time stands still.
He gets it now. 
The doctor spoke a few more words to your mother before walking away. She looked down at Chan sadly. 
Your mother sat on the chair next to him and wrapped him up in a hug. His world was falling apart around him. You were slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t even see you.
Hot tears poured down his face while he sat there with his head in his hands. Why does it feel like he’s losing you? Why is this the only way? Why are these the cards that are being dealt?
Why didn’t he pick you up from that fucking party?
“She loves you, Chan… she’ll come to her senses, I promise, I promise.”
It’s been two months, one week, two days and eight hours since he’s talked to you. That long since he’s known peace. Since he’s known any sort of comfort. 
You’re the last thing he thinks about before he closes his eyes at night and the first thing he thinks about in the morning. No matter how many times he wakes up and feels the cold bed next to him, it never dulls the ache in his chest.
It’s not a healthy mindset, he knows. And it’s not that you were codependent on one another, that’s not it at all. You were just… ripped away from him. 
Food has no taste. The sky isn’t as blue as it used to be. Clouds don’t make fun shapes like they did with you by his side. The stars are still in the sky, he thinks, he hasn’t had the guts to look at them. 
God, you love the stars so much. You always talked about how pretty they are— how absolutely breath-taking you think the universe is. Chan would simply listen, he would always listen. All he ever wanted to do was listen.
How is he supposed to look at anything the same way? How is any day supposed to be normal when half of his life is suddenly missing. What’s the point of making music if you’re not there to listen to it?
5:00 PM is the hardest hour to get through. You don’t open the door to his apartment when you get off work. You don’t tell him about the things that happened during your shift. 
He can’t leave little snacks out on the counter for you to eat when you get home like he used to. 
Mice would get to it before you did. 
His lonely apartment is slowly losing your smell. He could spray your perfume, sure, you keep a bottle at his place, but it’s not the same. You somehow made the scent sweeter by letting it linger on your skin. 
All of your old toiletries are still there where you left them. Your spare toothbrush has been bone dry and untouched since 9:28 AM that morning. Your shampoo bottles are still half full and waiting for you on your shower shelf.
It had rained a few days before your accident. You had started a puzzle on his dining room table that day– you told him it was the perfect rainy day activity. It was a picture of different comic book covers. It’s now collecting dust. Unmoved and unsolved. 
Just like him.
It was a battle and a half to throw away your leftovers from two nights before your car accident. He felt like he was throwing away your normal life, your tiny domestic traces. 
He didn’t want to cleanse you from his life, but you were washing away. Your ghost was eroding with time. 
Your spare car keys are still hanging on the key ring. Your rain coat is on the third hook draped right over your work bag. Even your phone charger is still plugged into the wall on your side of the bed.
Did you know you forgot to put your favorite gold earrings on that night? You left them on the nightstand. They’re still there, don’t worry. Right next to the glass of water you drank half of. 
Do you even remember them…? He got them for you for your first Christmas together. 
There are so many signs of a life interrupted integrated so deeply into his. 
You’re a clock whose hands stopped suddenly at 1:24 AM. 
This sort of haunting is unbearable. You’re not a phantom in his life, though. You’re something so unattainable that he had once but it was taken away with empty promises of return. 
It’s like you’re a shiny diamond hidden away beneath lasers and traps like in those stupid, cheesy spy movies you love so much. 
Do you know what he would give to watch one of those with you in his arms right now? 
Chan feels like he’s banging on the glass of a one sided window, screaming for you to remember him. Meanwhile you’re on the other side only staring into a mirror, trying to pick up the pieces from before. 
Your mom sends him updates on your condition all the time. He knows that you started working at the local library about three weeks ago. 
You had worked there in college before graduating and getting your last job. It was one of your favorite jobs you ever had. That library was so special to you. 
To him too. 
It’s the library where he first met you. 
The same library Chan finds himself in front of now. 
He shouldn’t go in. He can’t go in. He absolutely should not go inside. 
Bang Chan you should not and cannot go inside this library. Under no circumstances should you step foot inside this building where your other half is working. 
Absolutely not. 
The door emits a soft ding when he opens it. Electronic. Quiet. Peaceful. 
There’s a certain type of silence that sits in a library. It’s closer, thicker— warmer. It’s an expected silence. They’re supposed to be quiet. 
Chan can hear his sneakers take every step on the carpeted floor. There’s no one sitting behind the front desk; that’s where you usually were. 
His eyes look all around, but there’s no sign of you anywhere. A few people toddle around the shelves. 
There’s more soft beeping coming from the self checkout. That’s new. They didn’t have that when you worked here years ago. You probably hate it. 
On the day he met you, you were wearing a pair of dark green pants and a black long sleeve shirt. Your hair was clipped behind your head and pieces were falling over your face. 
Chan was only in the library to look for the bathroom. He was on his way to lunch with a friend, but he just had to stop somewhere. The library was the closest option. 
When he had heard the sound of books falling, he investigated and found you in the center of the carnage, the glasses on your nose sat crookedly and you rubbed your head. 
Your eyes met. He was a goner. 
How disgustingly poetic that he finds himself here now. Where he really shouldn’t be. He was quite literally prescribed a restraining order against you. 
Chan meanders around with his hands in his pockets, the silence getting louder and louder the further he gets inside.
Maybe you’re not working today? 
No one is anywhere to be seen. He’s checking down all the aisles but he doesn’t see you anywhere. 
Maybe it’s for the best that you’re not here. He’s not supposed to see you anyway. He’s breaking the doctor’s rules by doing this anyway. 
He needs to leave. He needs to get out of here. 
His feet stop in front of the very aisle where he saw you for the first time. 
Empty. 
You-less. 
If he thinks hard enough, Chan can picture you in front of him, laughing quietly with the most adorable, embarrassed blush on your cheeks. 
What a moment. 
Is it possible to spend eternity in that moment? Obviously internal clocks can be rewound, paused, flipped every which way; can he go back to that day? Can he go back to the day where every single poem suddenly made sense?
He would take any day, really, any day that had you in it. Birthdays, holidays, late night dates, Hell, he’d even take a day where he only saw you when you dropped off a drink for him in his studio. 
Anything, he would take anything just to see your smile bloom on your face while he watches.
“Can I help you find something?”
His breath catches in his throat, it feels like he’s physically punched in the chest. That voice. That beautiful, melodic voice. He hasn’t heard it in person in months, only in videos he had on his phone. 
Slowly, Chan turns to face the source of his favorite pitch. 
His throat immediately tightens. 
There you are. You. Beautiful you. 
Standing right there. Looking at him like a complete fucking stranger. 
“I…” his voice is hoarse. Chan can feel the tears in his eyes begin to form. He didn’t think this through, did he?
You’re staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to say anything. You’re waiting, come on, Chan. Speak up. Say something. 
Looking up at the shelf, you look back down at him with a smile. “A history guy, hm?”
No.
“Yeah.”
You giggle. “I always had a thing for History.”
He knows. 
“Really?”
“Mhmm.” You respond with a grin. 
Specifically Ancient Rome. He knows. 
You continue. “Specifically Ancient Rome.”
Chan nods and clears his throat. His palms feel so sweaty. His chest is almost panting. Every single cell in his body just wants to lunge forward and wrap you in a hug. 
He wants to bury his face in your neck and sob while you hold him. He wants to tell you that he missed you so much. He wants to tell you how your pillow is losing the scent of your shampoo. He wants to tell you that he’s been DVR-ing your favorite show so that you can watch it later. He wants to tell you about his day. He wants to kiss you until you’re breathless. He wants you to hear the new song he’s been working on.
But—
“If you need anything, let me know.”
You start to walk away.
Chan feels his heart physically break. It’s happening again. He’s on the other side of that one way mirror. It’s happening again! No, no please. 
His eyes widen, the words get caught in his throat. Fuck, Y/N, please!
“W-Wait!” he says quickly. 
You turn around with a curious look. 
“The Odyssey,” he blurts. “Where uh… where can I find it?”
Your eyes light up. “Oh, I love The Odyssey.”
He knows. You collect different translations of it. 
“I collect different translations of that book, here I’ll show you where it is.”
With a little hop in your step you lead him towards all the classics. 
He watches you like you’re an oasis in the desert— maybe it’s because you are. You’re what he’s been crawling towards for two months. 
You lead him all the way to the shelf where the Odyssey lives. Your nimble fingers reach forward and grab one of the copies. 
Green nail polish. You still paint your nails green. You picked that habit up a year after he met you. 
The memories have to be there, Y/N, they have to be. Chan bought you that first bottle of green nail polish as a joke on Saint Patrick’s Day. 
Y/N, please. 
“This translation is my favorite,” you whisper and hand him the book. 
Chan smiles sadly and takes the book from you, unable to meet your eyes. He knows if he gazes into those gorgeous eyes that he’ll lose it. He’ll fall to his knees and cry. 
“Thank you,” he whispers back. 
You stand there for a moment, he can feel your eyes on his face. He always has been able to tell when you were looking at him, it’s a little, secret superpower. 
From foot to foot, your weight shifts. 
You only do that when you’re confused. Why are you confused? Y/N, are you confused?
“I’m sorry…” you start, sounding so unsure. “You remind me of someone…”
It feels like a defibrillator was hooked up to his chest. Chan’s eyes widen and he finally looks up at you. 
You’re looking at him so carefully. He can see the gears turning in your head. Your tongue pokes out of your lips and wets them. 
Y/N, please. 
“I just… I can’t figure out who. Do I… do I know you? I was—” You stop yourself. 
Fuck. Fuck! What was he supposed to say? Fuck! 
Chan wants to scream. He wants to grab you by the shoulders and cry that he’s your soulmate, that he’s the person that knows you better than anyone else in this world. 
Yes, you do, you do know him. And he knows you. He knows how you take your coffee, what movies make you cry, what color jell-o is your favorite. 
He knows that you never wear matching socks and you always lift your feet when driving over railroad tracks. 
He knows that when you were 6 you ran into the corner of a cabinet and that’s how you got that scar next to your eyebrow. 
Chan knows that your entire life you wanted to be an author but you’re so scared of failure that you decided not to chase after it. 
He knows everything. 
“I just have one of those faces, I guess.” It comes out of his mouth so strained. 
You stare back at him so carefully. Do you see right through him?
“Maybe,” you say slowly. You don’t believe him. He knows that tone. You absolutely do not believe a word he’s saying. “Are you sure?”
Chan swallows, he grips the book in his hand tighter. The lump in his throat almost doesn’t go down, more tears prick at his eyes. 
“I would never forget a face like yours,” he chokes out. 
Your eyes widen and you blush, looking to the side with a smile. You always were a sucker for cheesy compliments. 
After thinking for a second, you reach into your pocket and take out a little slip of paper. 
“Here,” you say after scribbling something down. Holding it out, Chan sees it’s your phone number. He has it memorized. “If you ever need more books to read… or find… call me.”
Chan takes the paper with a racing heart. He gives you a smile, his dimples showing. “I think I will,” he whispers to you. 
Another few moments pass of you just staring at him before you nod and giggle nervously. “Well, I gotta get back to work, so..”
Chan nods and moves to the side. You walk past him. 
Your perfume curls around him like a blanket and he craves that sweet serenity he finds when he holds you close and breathes you in. 
Three steps after you pass him, you turn around. “Oh, I didn’t catch your name.”.
“Chan,” he answers softly. 
“Chan,” you repeat. It goes right through him. 
Your voice. Your sweet, beautiful, melodic voice. Finally, he heard you say his name again.
“I’m Y/N,” you whisper to him with a friendly smile. 
“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” Chan has to physically force the word ‘meet’ out of his mouth. 
“You too, Chan.”
And with that, you were gone, retreating back into your fortress of papyrus. 
—————————————————————
A bad idea was going into the library that day. 
An even worse idea was texting you the day after to ask how your day is going. 
And then an absolutely fucking idiotic move was asking if you wanted to go to dinner with him. 
And the worst part? You said yes. 
So, now here Chan was, standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom getting ready for what you thought was a first date, but to him was just a dinner date. 
How is he supposed to do this? He’s not, that’s how. 
Chan fiddles with his bracelet right before his phone rings. 
His heart drops when he sees the caller ID, your mother. 
“Ah, fuck…” he whispers before grabbing his phone. Of course you were going to tell your mom, you tell your mom everything. 
“Hello?” he asks warily into the phone. 
“Hi, Chan,” she says slowly, she sounds nervous, why does she sound nervous. 
“How are you? Is everything okay?”
“It’s Y/N…” Her voice lowers. Chan’s heart drops. “Before you panic, she’s okay! It’s um.. she’s getting ready right now… for a date…”
Chan isn’t moving. Yes, he knows you are. He knows it. But words won’t form in his mouth. 
“Channie.. I’m starting to wonder if that doctor isn’t right.. I can’t stand the thought of her finding someone else when you’re waiting for her… I tried to talk her out of it but she just seems so floaty and happy. God, I feel sick to my stomach.”
His jaw clenches. Now or never. 
“It’s with me,” he blurts. 
Your mom goes silent. Then a huge sigh comes out of her mouth. 
“I wish I could say I’m angry,” a little laugh follows it. “I think I’m only angry that you didn’t say something.”
He tells her everything, down to the way he pretended not to know you. 
“Well, you’re going to have to tell her eventually.” Your mom sounds unsure, herself. 
“Or maybe she’ll remember me.”
“What if she doesn’t?”
Chan sits down on the edge of his bed. His eyes are staring at the wall, unfocused. 
She’s right. What if you don’t? 
“Then, I’ll just … do it all again.”
Silence greets him on the other side of the line. Another tiny laugh comes from your mom. “I always knew you two were perfect together. Just like two magnets, you always come towards one another.”
—————————————————————
“I’ve never eaten here before,” you say with a chipper smile on your face from across the table. 
Yes, you have. 
“Really?” Chan asks, taking a sip of his water. 
“I pass it all the time and always wondered how the food was.”
He looks back down at the old menu. 
This restaurant was more than special to him. It’s where he took you on your first date. It’s an old fashioned burger joint with the greasiest, most delicious French fries in town. 
The first time you guys came here, you talked and talked until the place closed. And even after that, you drove around and talked until it was late. 
“I’ve been here a few times, it’s really good. The milkshakes are some of the best I’ve ever had.” Chan’s sweaty hands fiddle with the menu. 
He’s more nervous now than on the first date. 
“What’s the best one?” you ask with a smile. 
A small laugh comes out of his nose. “The peanut butter one.”
It was your favorite. 
“Yeah but then you can’t have any,” you say so nonchalantly, looking down at the menu. 
His eyebrows knit together. “What?”
“‘Cause of your allergy.”
He stops. 
You stop. 
He has a peanut allergy. Chan has a peanut allergy. 
His lips purse like he’s going to say something but you beat him to the punch. 
“I’m sorry,” you blurt out. “I… I don’t know why I thought that.” Your hands grip the menu a little tighter. “Maybe I’m thinking of someone else?”
Chan shakes his head. “No, no, it’s okay. I… I do have a peanut allergy. Maybe I said something before?”
You stare at him for a long second before looking back down at the menu once more. “Yeah… um. Maybe.”
He definitely did not say something. 
Dinner continues on. Chan listens to you talk and pretends he’s never heard your stories before and he tells you ones he knows he’s said before. 
The entire time, you were beaming at him, just like you used to before the accident. Your face never loses its constant happy glow. He’s not sure that the muscles in your face know how to frown.  
You’re the last two people in the restaurant. The staff doesn’t seem to mind. Maybe they recognize you both. Maybe. 
A lull dips into your conversation. Both of you know you should leave. Neither wants to. Especially the broken man sitting across from you. 
Chan takes the last sip of his drink. The bill has been paid for about an hour at this point. You’re looking down at your lap with a pink flush on your cheeks. 
You bite your lip and look up at Chan carefully. 
“Are you… are you sure I don’t know you, Chan?”
He stares at you. Did you know that you always bite your lip like that when you’re confused? 
“I just… I really feel like I know you. There’s just…” you pause, trying to find your words. He knows you want to tell him about the accident. He knows you want to say it but you don’t want to weird him out. 
What the fuck is he supposed to do? What is he supposed to tell you? 
“Something happened to me a little while ago, my brain’s been… fuzzy since then,” you explain shyly. “I know you said you don’t know me but I just… I can’t help feel like that’s not true.”
Chan’s jaw clenches, his knee bounces anxiously underneath the table. His head turns to the side in his typical nervous tick. 
Your mother’s words echo in his mind, his tongue suddenly feels like it’s swelling to the size of his mouth— making him unable to speak. Should he tell you? Is it now or never?
“I don’t mean to make it weird, Chan.”
He licks his lips and opens his mouth. 
Your phone rings. 
A sigh of relief comes from deep within Chan’s chest. 
Reluctantly, you pick up the phone and hold it to your ear. “Hello? …. No, I didn’t know…. Yeah, of course…. Sure… Yeah, see you tomorrow.”
Just as quickly as you answered the phone, you hang up. 
“Sorry,” you mumble. “Someone called out of work for tomorrow, they need me to come in.”
“Do you need to get going?” Chan asks, looking down at the time. It’s well past 10 o’clock. 
A sad smile crosses your face. “I mean… probably.” The time on your watch flashes back at you. He can tell you don’t want to go home yet. 
“Come on, Y/N, I’ll walk you home.”
Chan’s already standing up from the table, picking his jacket up off the back of his chair. You watch his movements and slowly get up, your movements screaming reluctance. 
—————————————————————
It’s three dates later when the two of you are walking down the street towards your house. It’s only a few blocks from here, but you both decide to take a tiny detour through the local park. 
“I have to say I’m a little excited to meet your friends,” you giggle. “I hope that’s not weird.”
You already have. 
“It’s not weird at all. I’m sure they’d like you.” Chan nudges your arm with his elbow, his hands staying in his pocket. 
“Changbin sounds like a blast.”
He was your favorite before.
“The two of you…” Chan thinks over his words carefully. “The two of you would definitely cause some mischief.”
And you have. 
A tiny lull of comfortable silence falls over the conversation. 
Both of you meander towards the swings. A cold wind blows through the air but neither of you react to it. 
With a tiny giggle, you sit down on one of the swings and hold onto the chains on the side. 
You are just so… you. You’re just your authentic self. Amnesia or not, you haven’t changed a bit. It’s so charming.
“I can’t remember the last time I went on the swings.” You start to move your body back and forth, not too much but enough to get the tiny thrill the toy brings. 
Chan walks up and stands next to you, his hand coming out and grabbing at the chain of the swing next to yours. 
The brightest smile stretches over your face. 
God, it really doesn’t take a lot to make you smile, does it? He guesses that means it doesn’t take a lot for him either since he smiles when you do.
He can’t help it.
He watches you move back and forth, the cold breeze kicking up a bit more and blowing dead leaves across the sidewalk. 
“What’s wrong, Chan? Allergic to swings?” you tease. 
He rolls his eyes with a smirk. “No, I just far more enjoy watching you have fun.”
Your cheeks flush. If he didn’t know you, maybe he would’ve chocked it up to the cold. But he knows the difference between your blush and the elements now. 
“You’re a smooth talker, Bang Chan.”
“It comes easy with you, Y/N L/N.”
Another laugh from you. 
“Shameless flirt.”
He puts his hand on his chest in mock hurt. “Ouch! I just speak the truth, that’s all. Not my fault I like seeing you blush.”
Every word that comes out of his mouth feels so natural. If he really thinks about it, he’s in a weirdly unique situation. Not many couples get to start over, to feel those butterflies again. But here he is, his palms starting to get sweaty as he imagines kissing you. 
Would you call it a first kiss? Maybe. 
It has been four dates. It wouldn’t be.. inappropriate to kiss you, would it? The two of you kissed on your third date a few years ago. 
He wants to kiss you so bad. 
Should he? Shouldn’t he? God, why is this so hard?
Chan reaches out and grabs the chain of your swing, pulling it to a very gentle stop. 
“Uh oh, fun police,” you tease and look up at him with a grin. 
Looking down at you, Chan allows his eyes to look over every detail of your face that he already had memorized. You haven’t changed at all except the new scar on the side of your forehead from the accident. 
It’s the same eyes, same nose, same chin that he fell in love with so long ago. 
The same asymmetrical eyes that you’re so self conscious of but he loves. Your hair is wind blown and splayed every which way. It adds a childish charm to your features. 
Very carefully, Chan moves his free hand down to cup your cheek. His warm palm soothes your ice cold face. He hears your breath catch in your throat at his touch. 
His thumb swipes over your cheek, fingertips run down the soft lines of your jawline. Eventually his thumb ends up under your chin which he tilts up. 
Your eyes sparkle. They somehow capture the light of the lamps around the playground. But they’ve always done that. 
You’re always so enchanting.
Is this a good idea? 
Is kissing you the best option? 
But does he even have the strength to stop himself now?
Almost three months without feeling your lips on his has been torture, and here he is, with you in his hands and there’s still this nagging feeling that he should stop. 
One look into your eyes quells that anxiety. 
Your eyes keep flickering down to his own lips, the shaky breath you let out is hot against his fingers. Everything feels warmer compared to the air outside. 
He can’t take it anymore. 
Chan leans down and presses his lips to yours. They’re warm and slightly chapped.
But, my god, he’s never felt anything this heavenly before. It’s like his entire body unwinds. Like a fire was lit inside his stomach. 
He moves his hand to the back of your head and keeps your lips pressed against his. Your head tilts to the side slightly. It’s just like he remembers. 
It’s just the first kiss, he can’t let himself get carried away. He can’t. 
He can’t let his fingers wind through your hair. He can’t melt into your touch on his cheek. He can’t let himself drown in your lips. 
But he is. 
He’s letting you consume his very soul in one kiss. 
How can something feel so healing yet hurt so badly at the same time? It’s like you’re ripping open a wound and bandaging it at the same time. 
No matter how hard he tries, he can’t bring his lips away from yours. Your hand slides down to caress his jawline with those soft, manicured fingers. 
Your lips open and close over his like mirror images. The feeling shoots straight down into Chan’s gut. It’s like the first time for him all over again. 
Those butterflies are going insane in his stomach. Your scent kicks up in the wind and he can’t help but take a large breath through his nose. 
God, he can’t stop himself. It feels too good. 
His hand moves from the back of your hair to cup your cheek and bring you closer. 
He immediately stops. 
Why is your face wet?
Chan pulls away from the kiss and looks down at you with concern written all over his expression. 
You’re crying. Why … why are you crying?
Your eyes open and you look at him confused. 
“Chan?” you whisper. You’re confused too. What?
“Why are you crying, Y/N?” he asks with a thick voice.
Your eyes widen and your own hand comes up to swipe at your cheeks. Sure enough, you’re met with tears. 
“I… I don’t know,” you say so quietly. “I-I’m not sure.”
Chan starts backing away, your eyes snap to focus on his. Your hand shoots up to grab at his to keep him there. You’re still so confused. 
Emotions are flying through your eyes. It almost looks like someone is clicking a light switch on and off in the back of your mind. A lightbulb is flickering in your soul like a dying neon sign in an old shop window. 
Every muscle in your face is twitching.
What’s happening?
“Channie—“ your own voice cuts off by a sob. 
Chan’s heart jumpstarts. You haven’t called him that… not in two months… that’s what you and your mother called him before the accident. 
Are you…? Are you remembering? What’s happening?
Please. 
Slowly, your hand falls from his. 
Chan stays there, unmoving like a statue. What’s happening inside your mind right now? It looks like you’re reaching and reaching for something that you can’t quite put your finger on. 
He's watching you struggle. It’s like when you can’t remember a word. It’s right there. It’s on the tip of your tongue.
You gulp, your eyes leave his and you look down at your lap. The dirt crunches under your feet as you shuffle your shoes around.
Chan swipes his thumb over your cheek, brushing away the tears. He’s biting back his own. 
“It’s okay—“ “I’m sorry—“ are both said at the exact same time. 
He knew it was coming. He knows you. But you don’t know him. Not anymore. 
But you do.
“It wasn’t the kiss. I—“ 
“It’s okay, Y/N.”
You know him. 
“Chan, I really loved the kiss.”
Chan. Not Channie. 
He brushes his thumb over your lips. “It’s okay,” he repeats gently. “You don’t have to explain.”
His other hand comes up and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Your eyes slide shut at the sensation. 
Your bottom lip quivers and you pull it into your mouth and bite it. With a tight swallow, your throat bobs. 
“It happens sometimes,” you whisper. “It’s from the accident I had.”
Chan continues to soothingly rub your skin with his thumb. Slowly, he kneels down to be in front of you rather than leaning over. 
The dirt is cold on his knee. It seeps through the fabric of his pants. He couldn’t care less. 
“You don’t have to talk about it,” he whispers back to you. 
You shake your head gently, your hands folding in your lap. “No, no. I… I want to tell you. I need to tell you. It’s been happening more and more whenever I’m around you. It’s like every touch, every word you say bounces around my brain and makes me feel the worst case of deja vu.
“Every time I’m with you I feel like I’m trying to recall a dream I had last night but I just can’t remember what it was.”
You’re rambling. You only ramble when you’re overwhelmed and scared. 
“Chan, every time I’m with you it feels like some part of me is screaming to be let out.”
Your eyes open and you stare right through him. Chan feels his heart squeeze and almost stop completely. Despite your best efforts, the tears keep coming. 
“I was in a car accident a few months ago. I had such a severe concussion that I lost the last five years of my memory.” 
How is your voice so even?
Chan’s jaw clenches. Fuck fuck fuck. 
He knows. Yes, Y/N. He knows. Fuck, does he know! If anyone fucking knows, it’s him. 
“I—“ he starts but you cut him off. 
“Please,” you choke out and take a deep breath. “And since then I’ve been getting bits and pieces of my memory back. Sometimes they’re in large chunks, other times they just … come back.
“When I try to think about my life before the accident. There’s this… person there. Someone important. Someone so, so important that it physically hurts me to think about how I don’t know who it is. They’re a constant. And I love that they’re a constant.”
Your hand comes up to clutch at your jacket right over your chest. 
More tears come out of your eyes. The whites get more pink the more they flow. 
“But I know them. I do! I know them like I know the back of my hand. I-I know they love music. I know they take milk and sugar in their morning coffee. I know they don’t get enough sleep at night.”
Louder and louder your voice gets as you grow sadder and sadder. The sobs between thoughts wrack your chest. 
Him. You’re talking about him. 
Chan’s hands hold your face gently. His thumbs can’t keep up with how much you’re crying. 
Nothing has ever hurt this bad. 
You know him. You just don’t know it’s him. 
Nevertheless, you continue. “I remember that they have the most obnoxious phone alarm in the morning. I remember the passcode to their phone is 032518. I know that they have this one black sweatshirt that I love to steal even though it’s their favorite.”
Chan’s own eyes begin watering, he can’t stop it. You know him. You know him. You’ve remembered him this whole time and you didn’t even know it. 
You reach up and grab one of his hands and place it on your heart. Underneath your jacket, he can feel your heartbeat thudding violently against your chest. 
That same heartbeat he’s been dying to listen to while you play with his hair and tell him about your day. The heartbeat he would give anything to hear as he falls asleep. His throat gets tighter and tighter. 
“I’ve been surrounded by bits and pieces of a ghost and no one wants to help me. No one will tell me anything, and I’m so confused, Chan. I can tell that there’s something that everyone is avoiding telling me.”
A gust of wind picks up through the playground. It nips at his cheeks. It’s now he realizes how many tears are falling. 
A sob tears from his throat. 
You grip his hand tighter. 
“Tell me It’s you, Chan.” You’re begging. You’re actually begging while keeping his hand pressed against your heartbeat. 
“Tell me that you’re the person that I see in my dreams. Tell me you’re the one that loves when I draw hearts on the bathroom mirror after I shower. Please tell me that you’re the one that loves the smell of lemon cookies but can’t stand the taste.”
Oh, god, Y/N.
“Tell me that you’re the one that wanted to pick me up from the party that night but I said no.”
He breaks. 
He breaks right down in front of you. Every single ounce of self control leaves his body and he grabs you out of the swing, yanking you towards his body and holding you against his chest.The emotions that were being kept at bay came out like a raging storm. 
He falls backwards into the dirt, you come crashing into him. Your arms wrap around him at the same time he wraps around you. 
Chan buries his face in your neck, one hand on the back of your head and the other firmly around your waist. 
Wails leave his mouth as he holds you to him. They’re deep and come from the very depths of his soul. The wound that’s been open for months is bleeding.  
Every lonely night. Every dinner where he cooked for two instead of one by accident. Every long day he came back to an empty apartment. It’s all coming out. 
You’re crying just as hard as he is, both of your hands gripping the back of his hoodie like a lifeline. 
Your body in his arms is like a piece of a puzzle. Like he’s the dusty one sitting on his dining room table and you finally came in and finished it. 
Weeks and weeks of grief come crashing down on him. He can’t lie anymore. Not to you. Never to you. 
“It is me,” he cries into your neck, his hand running over the back of your head, feeling your hair slip through his fingers. It’s just like he remembers. “It’s all me, Y/N, It’s me.”
Your cries get louder, your body starts shaking in his arms. 
“I’ve missed you, Y/N,” he cries harder. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so much. I missed my girl. Oh my god, I’ve missed you.”
Chan can’t pull you close enough, he can’t get you close enough to his body. You shift around and press yourself into him. 
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry I didn’t pick you up that night. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry you got hurt.” 
Every ounce of grief is surfacing and clawing its way out of his throat. 
“I’m sorry I had to lie to you these last two weeks. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I was so broken without you. I broke the doctor’s orders. I needed to see you, Y/N.”
Despite how hard he has you gripped against him, you manage to pull away slightly. You sit up in his lap and look down at his red, tear soaked face. His eyes are puffy and his chest is sputtering with sobs. 
Both of your hands cup his cheeks and swipe away the tears the same way he did for you only a small bit ago. There’s a sad smile on your face. 
“Please don’t apologize, Channie, it’s okay. I forgive you.”
Channie. You called him Channie.
He cries harder and buries his face into your chest. Your arms immediately come around him and keep him there, fingers threading into his hair. 
You’re still crying. Both of you are. 
“I know you were just doing what you were told to,” you whisper into his hair. He can hear your voice reverberate in your chest. 
All he can do is cry. 
Months of build up led to this moment. Endless days of going through the motions just for the next to be as dull and tedious led to him falling into you in the middle of a playground at night. 
The only thing you do after that is hold him. You press kisses to the top of his head and whisper that you forgive him over and over. 
Each one adds a stitch to the wound, shutting it.
You’re finally in his arms. You’re finally back where you belong. 
“I missed you,” he says again, his cries dying down. He doesn't know what else to say. There's so much he wants to tell you, but everything dies on the tip of his tongue.
“I missed you too, Channie. My heart missed you so much.”
He sniffles and looks up at you. You pull your sweatshirt sleeve up and wipe away his stray tears gently. 
“Every day it just felt like something was missing. It was you. You were missing.”
Chan can’t find any words to say. He just stares at you. 
"I don't care how long it takes to remember, or even if I never do. I need you by my side for it, Chan."
His eyes sparkle at you for a moment but he leans up and captures your lips with his once more. It feels even better than the previous one.
The two of you relish in the contact, holding each other close and clinging to the closeness of it all.
It's taking everything within Chan not to start crying again. He's worried than any moment now, he'll wake up and this will all be some cruel dream.
But when you pull away from his lips, and he opens his eyes-- you're still there. You're still in his arms and smiling at him like you always did.
The burn is soothed.
“If you think about it,” you start with a tiny smile. “We’re lucky— in a way.”
His entire face screws up, even more confused. “Lucky?”
“How many people get to say they fell in love with the same person twice?”
Chan blinks twice before it feels like his entire body thaws. 
You and your glass half full attitude. He’ll never fucking get enough of it. 
His arms wrap around you again, bringing you down into his chest. You let out a breathy giggle 
“You’re never leaving my sight,” he breathes out. “Never again, baby, never.”
“I don’t ever want to, Channie. I never will.”
659 notes · View notes
sunnyaelia · 2 days
Text
Captain Orders
For the anon who asked for this and also requested it back then 💓 here’s the request and my apologies for the spam today as I’ll probably upload another one later 😭
I know you write for Leah and I was wondering if I could request something else ? Still with jealousy r goes on a date with an opposing player and Leah forbids them via captain’s orders and they have a fight and confession in from of the whole team ?
“Oi, y/n.” You looked up at Katie’s yell through the whole changing room, face immediately heating up when you heard her next words. 
“What did player #19 give you, hm?” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and you rolled your eyes at her as now everyone in the changing room expectedly stared at you. 
“Asked me out.” Internally cursing Katie for bringing the attention of the entire team on this, you begrudgingly went to your bag, having already showered thankfully as you now couldn’t wait to get out and away from the curious looks from your teammates as quick as possible.
The whole room erupted in chatter at your words, everyone apparently needing to get their opinion out on this. 
The only one completely silent was Leah, frozen on the bench where she had been putting her shoes on. You’d been asked out. And it wasn’t by her. 
Leah had been into you for quite some time, probably close to a year now. She had never dared to say anything, still scarred from the experience with Jordan and the breakup causing Jordan to basically flee to another team. It had hurt horribly and Leah didn’t want to lose you like that too. 
Well, she was apparently about to lose you anyway but in a different way. You’d been single since you’d met her as far as she knew and she had been glad, not being able to stomach seeing you with someone other than her. 
If only she knew that the only reason you had stayed single so far was because you’d been hoping that Leah might ask you out one day. You were way too shy to do it yourself and had lost hope after a few months since she only seemed to see you as a friend.  A close friend - but just a friend.
When the player had approached you earlier you weren’t particularly interested but also not opposed so maybe this date would finally take your mind off of it. 
“Did you say yes?” 
You jumped nearly a foot in the air at Leah’s sudden voice right next to you. 
“Jesus, Leah. Don’t give me a heart attack.” 
“Did you?” There was impatience in her voice and she looked especially serious right now, forever seemingly having a frown etched on her face that got even deeper when you answered. 
“Uhm yeah, I did.” 
“Tell her you can’t go.” 
At first you thought she was joking, surely she couldn’t be serious. 
“I’m sorry, what?” 
“You’re not going on the date. We have an important game tomorrow.” 
“Yeah, I know.” You were honestly a bit lost on why this was relevant right now and attempted to ease the slight tension by making a small joke: “I’ll be back home by 9 p.m. don’t worry.” 
Leah was not in the slightest amused, crossing her arms while still staring down at you. 
“No, you’ll be back by 2 p.m. because you’re going home right now.” Your brows furrowed, still completely lost on what Leah’s problem was. 
“I think I can decide by myself what time I’m home, Leah.” You turned towards your bag again, quickly shoving everything in, now desperate to get out of here. 
“I’m being serious. Text her and say you can’t go anymore.” 
You turned back around, crossing your arms as well. 
“And why would I do that?” 
“Because I’m your captain and I said so.” 
Scoffing at her ridiculous words you make quick work of pushing your last shoe in your bag and zipping it up rather aggressively. 
“You’re not seriously pulling your fucking captain card right now. We are not on the pitch and I’ll do whatever the fuck I want in my free time.” 
“Captains orders go even if we’re not on the pitch last time I checked.” She sounded so arrogant while she was saying it that you couldn’t suppress an eye roll. 
“Yeah and last time I checked, it’s none of the captains business who I go on a date with. And you’re the vice captain - not the captain.”
Your voice was getting a bit too loud to still keep this conversation on the low, gaining the attention of the ones immediately around you two. Neither of you noticed though, too caught up in your argument. 
“Look, y/n this game is extremely vital for us, I’m not risking anything like strategies getting out.” 
You had to restrain yourself this time from outright yelling at Leah, internally seething at what she just said and your voice getting louder with every sentence. 
“Did you just imply that I’d go on a date with someone and drop strategies we are going to use for our game tomorrow? Do you think I’m fucking stupid? You do realise that I’m part of this team and want to win just as much as everybody else here does, right?” 
You distractedly noticed how silent the room had gotten, some - like Katie and Kyra - were unabashedly staring at you and Leah, others  like Alessia and Lotte seemed embarrassed and were trying to quickly gather their stuff and get out. 
“Can you just stop being difficult? For the last time you’re not going.” 
“God, fuck you Leah. Are you into my date or something? You know, before you pull the Captains card you can also just be a normal human being and just ask her out instead of harassing me about it.” 
Leah’s eyes almost dropped out of her head at you implying that she might even be remotely interested in the woman that had asked you out and her next words spilled out of her before she could hold them back. 
“I’m not into her you idiot, I’m into you!” 
Now she noticed the silence as well, realising that she had just revealed to the entire changing room that she was in love with you. 
You didn’t have any time to react to her words before she turned on her heels and was out of the room. 
For a second you were frozen, completely caught off guard with how this conversation had went. When your head finally caught up with everything you immediately scrambled after Leah, leaving a very shocked and silent changing room behind. 
“That was… something.” Kyra was the first to speak. 
“Not sure if this was a good argument to have right before an important game,” came from Lacasse who was especially intent to ace the match tomorrow.
“Why? Free entertainment for ya. Helps relaxing.” Katie’s signature smirk was on, of course completely unbothered and even amused about this whole thing. 
“Alright guys,” it was Kim who spoke up now, clapping her hands twice to get everyone’s attention. “Get your stuff and get out of here and focus on the game tomorrow, not…” for a moment unsure what to say herself Kim paused before continuing. “Not on whatever that was. Come on, get moving.” 
The quiet murmuring started up again, everyone packing up their stuff and getting ready to leave, knowing better than to ignore Kim’s orders. 
Meanwhile you were desperately trying to find Leah, being completely clueless on where she could be. You had checked the toilets and a few of the maintenance rooms now but the toilets were empty and the other rooms locked. Cluelessly trying to open every room that you walked by and getting more nervous, not wanting Leah to just run from you forever. 
Until you pulled on another door and it revealed her, sitting on the floor with her legs pressed to her body. She ignored you, not even looking up as you came in and sat down next to her. 
When it became clear that she wasn’t going to say anything, you tried to break the tension a bit. 
“You know, you could have just asked me out instead of making such a scene,” lightly bumping her shoulder so she knew that you weren’t mad. 
“Does it matter? You’d have said no anyway.” Leah still refused to look at you, gaze fixed on her knees. 
Your eyebrows furrowed at how sure she sounded. “Says who?” 
“Says the fact that you just got asked out by someone else and said yes.” 
You couldn’t suppress your chuckle, honestly surprised at how jealous Leah had gotten. If you had known that… 
“Yeah but only because I was trying to get over you.” 
Leah finally looks at you at that. “What?” 
“I like you too Leah. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen for you quite some time ago.” 
“You really do? You like me?” She sounded like she still couldn’t believe it and you were lost on why. Leah had a lot of people that would want her, obviously. You’d be blind not to. 
Reaching out you gently caressed her cheek with one hand. 
“Leah, how could I not? You’re incredible. So intelligent, sweet and usually also very kind.” 
She chuckled lightly at your insinuation of her behaviour earlier, carefully shuffling over a bit more so your sides were touching.
“Yeah, sorry about that. I was behaving like an idiot.” 
You hummed, nodding in agreement. “You really were.” 
With a content sigh you put your head on her shoulder, like you’d done so often when you two were just friends, smiling when she wrapped her arm around you. 
“Sooo.. are you gonna ask me on a date or should I just go with that girl from earlier?” 
Completely offended Leah immediately sat upright and scoffed. “You’re definitely not going with her. Text her and tell her you can’t.” 
You chuckled at how Leah immediately turned into strict and demanding again after that pretty rare show of hurt a minute earlier. 
Pulling your phone out you tipped your chin thoughtfully, deciding to tease Leah once more. 
“What do I write? ‘Sorry I can’t go anymore, my Captain has forbidden it.’ Or should I go with ‘sorry I’m actually in love with someone else who finally confessed infront of the whole changing room so I can’t go anymore’” 
You let out an undignified squeak when Leah charged at you at that, grabbing you and tickling you, knowing exactly how incredibly ticklish you were as you laughed and tried to squirm away from her.
“Okay, okay I’m sorry,” you gasped out in between, your sides already starting to hurt. 
You were laying on the ground now, your hair splayed out over it and Leah hovering above, her face quite close to yours. 
You noticed how she glanced down at your lips and smiled, watching her slowly get closer. 
A satisfied exhale escaped you as Leah leaned down a bit more and pressed her lips to yours, softly kissing you. 
Finally. 
468 notes · View notes
glassartpeasants · 2 days
Text
How to Love .02
Eustass Kid/Trafalgar Law x F!Reader
Warnings: Angst, self-esteem issues, fluff, semi slow-burn, author writing this at 4am in the morning
A/N: here ya'll go. Sorry if i missed some @ there's just a lot of ya'll
prologue pt.1
~~~
Laying on the couch in Law’s apartment, you couldn’t help but constantly stare at the clock. Watching time go by slowly felt like hell, but there was nothing else you could do. Nothing you had the energy to do. With it being 2:03 am, the whole city was dead, and everyone snuggled in their beds. Dreaming peacefully. Yet here you were, awake and unable to have anything other than nightmares.
Every single night since you caught your boyfriend cheating on you with your best friend, the same nightmare happens. A replay of what you walked into when you went to confront them. You’d wake up from the nightmare, and when you’d go back to sleep, you would be right back into the nightmare. It was almost mentally easier to just stay awake than go to sleep.
But the times when you wanted to sleep, you just couldn’t. You’ve gotten so used to Eustass’s heartbeat as a lullaby to help you sleep that now it's almost impossible to sleep without it. Or how sometimes he’d run his fingers through your hair when he thought you were asleep. Just the small things had such an effect on you that even after knowing what he’d done, it infuriated you.
How dare your heart demand his presence despite it being broken?
You don’t know if Eustass has tried to call or text you. As soon as you entered Law’s car, you blocked him on everything you could think of. It took everything inside you not to leave him unblocked on one thing, just to see what he had to say. Being so in love with him that even seeing the color red reminds you of him. His lipstick and the stains it’d leave behind when he kissed you.  His beautiful red hair and how it was soft to the touch haunted your fingertips. The image of him laying his head on your chest, sleeping as you combed through his hair after a long day.
Your vision grew blurry as tears started to slip from your eyes. Pain and heartbreak fill each tear as it burns along your skin. Curling up in a ball the nest you could, you try your best to provide yourself comfort. You had no one’s shoulder to cry on. The two most influential people in your life betrayed you and left you all alone. You didn’t want to bother Law since he was suffering, too, and you didn’t want to overwhelm him. He already has so much on his plate, working nonstop, the initial betrayal of (.....), and no doubt other things he hasn’t expressed or that you’ve observed. He’s already been kind enough to let you stay at his apartment for a bit until you find someplace. You didn’t want to be even more of a burden by asking him to listen to you sob.
The whole situation was a mess. Never in your life have you felt more alone than you do now. You lay on a friend's couch, trying not to sob and wake them up. You couldn’t turn on the TV to watch something because Law was sleeping, and from what (.....) told you before all this happened, he was a light sleeper. Probably, even closing the refrigerator door would wake him up.
A memory from when you and Eustass would get midnight snacks before watching some sort of show. When grabbing a drink of water, you’d only come back and see him pouting like a child when he awoke to see you not in his arms. You used to love times like those. He was always so cuddly during those times.
“Why the long face, babe?” Setting a foot back into your room after grabbing some water, you return to see your lover with his arms crossed as he sits up to look at you.
“You're not in bed.”
“Yeah, 'cause I was getting water. Am I not allowed to be thirsty?” Giggles leave your lips as you make your way over to your side of the bed. Placing the water glass on your nightstand, you snuggled back under the covers. Not even seconds pass before you feel two hands grab your waist and pull you closer to the man beside you. Your body is wholly trapped as Eustass wraps his arms around you. Burying his face on the top of your head, you hear him let out a contempt sigh.
“I love it when you're all cuddly. It makes me feel so safe when you're next to me.” You feel him placing kisses on your head before making you face up so he can kiss your lips. You can still see the pink on his pale, freckled skin even in the dark. Placing your hands on his cheeks, you rub his cheekbones and look into his eyes. 
“So glad you never gave up, and I’m so glad I said yes.  I’ve never been happier.” As he groans in embarrassment, you begin to plant kisses all over Eustass's face.
“What are you doing?”
“Kissing the places the angels missed. You need to be covered in kisses 'cause I said so.” Eustass hides his face in your neck before kissing it. 
“I love you.” While quiet, you can still hear his confession as he whispers against your skin. 
“Love you more.” You heard him say no before repeating your words. Fake scoffing, you smile as you play his game.
The sound of your sniffling broke through your flashback as reality came back with a punch. Instead of laying in bed with two strong arms wrapped around you, you were sleeping on a couch with your pillow drenched in tears. The roll of toilet paper you stole in place of tissues was almost gone, as the garbage was filled to the brim. Suddenly, the familiar jingle of Bepo’s collar rang through your ears.
“Meow…” Through the darkness, you can see his beautiful while fur rubbing against the couch. You watch him lift his body so his paws are on the cushions before fully jumping onto the couch. The feeling of him lying by your chest made you sniffle yet smile. Moving your arm, you go to pet the animal lying peacefully beside you.
“Guess you know exactly when someone needs you, huh?” The sound of his purring made a shaky sigh leave your lips. The vibrations against your chest calmed you down slightly. But while the harsh tears subsided, the burning pain in your heart stayed the same.
“Why wasn’t I good enough? I did everything right. Is there something wrong with me?” Racking your brain, you struggle to think about Eustass without having the gnawing urge to sob into your pillow.
“Am I ugly? Did he just get sick of me? I don’t understand.” Swallowing the lump in your throat, you feel your fingers twitch. 
“I wanted to marry him Bepo. I imagined the rest of my life with him. I’ve never loved someone as much as I loved him.” As the confession left your lips, the sound of Law’s bedroom door opening made you shut up altogether. Looking at the clock, you see that it’s precisely 4:30am. How time went by so quickly from your sobbing is unknown to you. Quick to rub your eyes, you listen carefully to Law’s footsteps approaching the living room. Despite your heart telling you to stay down and keep quiet, you ignored it and carefully moved your body up to see Law staring at you.
“Jesus Law! I heard you coming, and you still scared the shit outta me!” You hear him let out a small chuckle in the darkness.
“Why are you awake?” Pulling yourself up more, you try to sit up without kicking Bepo off the couch.
When you finally get a better look at Law, your heart skips a beat. There was Law, standing in front of an open window. The moonlight gave him a slight glow. Almost as if he were an angel. You could see a ‘Sora: Warrior of the Sea’ themed shirt hugging his frame along with grey sweatpants. The sound of your heart beating faster made you come back to the present.
“Oh! Well, I guess I’m just so used to sleeping beside someone that sleeping alone is hard. That and some other things.”
“Ah…”
“Also, I didn’t know you liked ‘Sora: Warrior of the Sea’!” Law’s face goes into shock as he looks down and remembers the shirt he wore to bed. A light pink dusted his cheeks, but he was thankful it was just dark enough for you not to see it.
“Oh…yeah.”
“What’s your favorite comic they’ve made? Mines volume 106.”
“You read the comics?”
“Of course! I have the whole collection in that storage garage down the street. It’s in there along with everything else I’ve gathered from my old apartment.”
“I guess my favorite is Volume 200. It’s been a while since I’ve read it, though.”
While you and Law hung out a lot during that semester in college, he wouldn’t have called you a close friend. A friend but not close enough for him to let you stay on his couch. So when he said that you could stay at his apartment the day everything happened, it shocked him when it slipped from his mouth. But now here, a week later, he’s glad he did. While neither of you spoke about the whole situation that had you sleeping on his couch in the first place, knowing he wasn’t totally alone was nice.
Especially when the person liked Sora just as much as he did.
“Do you work today? Is that why you're up so early?”
“Just couldn’t sleep.”
“Ah. Well, do you want to watch a movie? Like a Sora movie? I’m sure we can find one on Netflix or Hulu. We can even make popcorn so we can take our mind off, you know what.” Law stayed silent as he pondered your offer. Even though he’s not really a movie guy, he’s seen every Sora movie at least twice.
“Okay. But I don’t have any popcorn. I don’t like how it gets stuck in my teeth.”
“That’s fine! I think I bought some trail mix if that’s more to your liking. So which movie did you wanna watch? From what I remember, there's Sora: Warrior of the Sea vs. The Dark Depths. Sora-” Law fades out your voice as he feels a spark of joy when he hears you name off all the movies without missing a beat. A smile on your face the entire time you talked about it.
Somehow, even after catching Eustass cheating on you with your best friend, you still had a smile on your face. Yet, he could see the pain behind your eyes if he looked hard enough.
“The third one sounds fine.” Smiling at him, you pat the spot next to you on the couch.
“You need to tell me where you got that shirt. I want one.” Law watches you log into your Hulu account before searching for the movie. 
Sitting down, Law relaxes on the cushion next to you. You grab one of the many blankets you have and hand him one. The warmth of the blanket held from being so close to you slightly soothes Law’s aching heart, if only for a bit.
“Alright! Movie on!” Law catches you, placing the remote between you before you turn your back to him.
“Can’t forget about my little marshmallow Bepo!” Law watched you grab Bepo and hold him close before giving him a little kiss.
“Since when did you two become so close?”
“Since he let me bawl into his fur. What? Jealous?” Law rolled his eyes, seeing you smirk.
“Not long ago, you said he needed a diet.”
“I still stand by that. Now, let’s appreciate the beauty of our favorite hero!” The situation Law found himself in was something he could’ve never foreseen. (.....) wasn’t interested much in Sora, so he never watched them with her or asked her to. But now, here you were with a big smile on your face as you watched his favorite movie with him, an obvious excitement coursing through your body as you hyped up the movie to the cat in your arms.
While Law wasn’t a movie guy, he thought a movie every now and then wouldn’t be so bad as long as it was with you.
~~~
“Thanks for coming to Skypeia Cafe! Have a good day!” Handing the freshly made latte to the lady on the other side of the counter, you receive a wave and a smile before she leaves. As soon as the door closes, you let out a heavy breath. The rush has finally gone down, and it feels like you can finally think straight.
“Don’t pass out on us now (Y/N). We still have the after-school rush.” Rubbing your eyes, you lean against the counter before turning your head to see who’s talking to you.
“Oh. It’s you, Killer. Haha, don’t remind me of it. The worst rush of the day.”
While it was awkward, you managed to get past the unease of working with your ex-boyfriend's best friend. It wasn’t fair to be mean to a man who had nothing to do with your ex-boyfriend's infidelity. Plus, he was pretty funny when he wanted to be.
You’ve known him for much longer before dating Eustass. The two of you have been co-workers from the start of college till now. While this was your only job, Killer worked at the cafe for some extra cash, but his real job was working at the mechanic’s shop about half a mile from your old place. He worked there with Eustass when he wasn’t at the cafe.
He didn’t talk much before Eustass properly introduced the two of you, but he got more talkative as time went on. It was nice talking to him despite everything that’s been going on outside of work—a breath of fresh air.
“How you holding up?”
“Best as I can. Thankful I have a place to stay until I can find another place to live that I can afford.”
“Well, that’s good to hear. Have you heard from Eustass?”
“No. I have him blocked on everything. Have for awhile now.”
“That’s good. You should keep it that way.” An itch formed in your head because of the way Killer responded to you. While it could just be normal advice, you felt like there was more to it.
“Hmm? Is he doing something stupid?”
“You're coping much better than he is, let’s just say.” Killer's words made your brows furrow as you became more dedicated to figuring out what he meant. 
“What? What is he doing?” You hear him suck air through his teeth from behind his mask, and it has unease filling your gut.
“I’m guessing you’ve blocked him on snap too?”
“What is he doing, Killer?” Killer sighs before grabbing his phone from his pocket. You watch him tap on the screen before letting you see the photos on Eustass’s snap story. Looking down at it, you feel your mouth drop as you stare at it closely. 
While you’ve been crying out your soul, that bastard was out partying. It was obvious by the way the picture showed him sucking on a random girl’s face. And another one of him with a girl on his lap. Squinting your eyes, your disturbed to see (.....) being the one sitting on his lap. Only then is when you feel a tear drop onto your hand.
“That bastard, I can’t believe him. It hasn’t even been a full month, and he’s acting like I was some fling. Did I really mean that little to him?” Standing up from the counter, you excuse yourself to the backroom so you can calm down.
“Sorry (Y/N), are you okay?”
“I guess it’s my own fault. I wanted to see the pictures, and I took the risk. It just still hurts—hurts a lot.” You laugh pathetically at your final words, trying to cheer yourself up. 
“You know what? Let’s just continue working and pretend this never happened. Please?” Seeing Killer give you a nod, you let out a relieved sigh. Rubbing the tears from your eyes, you get ready to go back and do your job—just on time, too, as a familiar face walks through the door.
“Law! What a surprise! What brings you here? I thought you worked today.” Seeing your roommate’s face immediately brightened up your mood. You’d never seen him at the cafe before while you were working.
“They were Overstaffed, so they sent me home. I thought I’d come say hi.” Walking up to the counter, you see him looking at the board.
“Well, I appreciate your coming to see me. I just finished with the rush, so take your time.”
“Never been here before. Got any suggestions?”
“My favorite personally is (----), but the refresher Citrus Sunrise is a popular one. I’ve also noticed a lot of doctors like the Vanilla Cloud Cold Brew.”
“Cold brew? And what’s with all the sky names?”
“Well, the theme at the cafe is basically the multiple phases of the sky. But the cold brew is coffee that makes you see doubles. It keeps a person awake for much longer.”
“I’ll get that then.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escapes your throat when he orders.
“Should’ve bet money on it. Might have been a dollar richer.” The chuckle that left Law’s lips made a bigger smile appear on your face. You were thankful that there was a little mercy in the world.
“Ah, Law, haven’t seen you since college, it feels like.”
“Probably. I’ve been busy. How’s life going for you?”
“Good. What about you? How’s doctor life?”
“As good as it can be when the person sleeping on your couch snores.” Killer watches you whip your head around with an offended look on your face.
“I do not snore! Never have I in my life!” A content chuckle comes out from behind Killer's mask as he watches you and Law playfully bicker. It hits him that his place must be where you're staying. He supposes it makes sense. If what Eustass told him was true, then you both would be struggling with your partner's affair.
Before Law came through the cafe doors, he worried about how you were taking the breakout behind closed doors. But watching you and Law interact with one another let him know that you’ll be doing just fine, which might leave a bad taste in someone else's mouth.
~~~
“She’s still staying with Law?! That fucking-AH!” Killer watched as Eustass kicked a lone tire on the ground. It bounced away from them before hitting another tire and stopping. He ran his fingers through his red hair before hitting the wall with the side of his fist. The concrete bricks that made up the mechanic shop's wall stayed put even with how much force Eustass put into the hit.
“Eustass, you have to understand how you sound right now-”
“I know how I sound! Alright?!... I know how I sound.” His voice trails off as he stares at the ground. The burning in his heart feels wrong, as he knows he has no one to blame but himself.
He flew too close to the sun and let his ego get the best of him. Everything he could ever want was in his hands, and yet he still wasn’t satisfied, so he threw it all on the line simply for a circumstantial thrill. And the consequences came crashing all around him like an earthquake.
When you busted open that door, Eustass knew that no amount of bargaining would have you staying to talk to him that day. The heartbroken look on your face continues to haunt him every night. Not a day goes by where he didn’t feel disgust for himself after being the reason tears ran down your face. 
If he could take it back just to have you in his arms again, he’d crawl out from hell itself.
“She’s also seen those party pictures from last Saturday.”
“What?! How’d she see them?!”
“A co-worker showed her. Apparently, she was at the party.” Eustass puts his face in his hands.
“Can’t even drink away my problems without having new ones show up.” Rubbing his face, Eustass lets out a sigh.
“I had it all. Had the girl, the job, all the works, and I managed to fuck it up. Now, no matter what I do, I’ll never get to wake up next to her.”
“If you even want her to look at you in a way that’s not disgust, I suggest you block (.....) if you haven’t already.” Killer watches Eustass sit down on some stacked tires before putting his head in his hands.
“I did that the day (Y/N) found out. Yet somehow, she keeps coming back into my life no matter where I go!”
“There’s always a retraining order?”
“It’s not that bad. It's just extremely aggravating.” The two men remained silent before Killer spoke.
“The best advice I can offer you is get your shit together before even making an attempt on contacting or acting civil with (Y/N).”
“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.”
~~~
When you got home from work, you took a nap and a shower, then decided to go for a walk around Law’s neighborhood. You wanted to get some fresh air and check out some new places. There was a thrift store nearby that you really wanted to check out, so you grabbed your wallet/purse and put on your shoes. Yet before you walked out the door, you called out to Law.
“Hey, Law?” A few sounds of movement come from his bedroom direction before he pops out from behind the wall.
“Something wrong?”
“Oh, nothing’s wrong! I just wondered if you wanted to go thrift shopping with me. We could just hang out, ya know?”
Hearing your offer, Law originally wanted to say no. He wasn’t much of a people person, and going out willingly, which didn’t involve working or getting groceries, was usually a no-go for him. But he supposed it’d be fine. Just for today, to go out.
“Okay.” As soon as the words left his lips, he watched your smile grow and couldn’t help but smile slightly himself. Walking over to the door, he grabs his shoes and coat.
“Meow!” The sound of Bepo’s meow makes the two of you turn your heads.
“Bepo!” Law watched as you picked up his cat and started kissing him. Bepo’s loud purring had you holding him even closer. 
“I’m sorry, baby, but I can’t take you with us. Your dad and I are going out, and we can’t take you with us. I promise to get you something, though!” Giving Bepo one final kiss to his head, you carefully put him down before making movements to leave.
“Say goodbye, Law! Don’t make him sad!” Your teasing made him roll his eyes before he scratched Bepo’s ears and said goodbye as well.
~~~
“Hmm. What do you think about this? I think it’s kinda cute!”
“Do you want my honest opinion?”
“Yes, I do! I think it’d look cute at the apartment!”
“It’s ridiculous. We have a perfectly good honey container at home, which is the bottle it came in.”
“But it’s so cute! I’m trying to liven up the place! Give it a woman’s touch.”
“Our place is fine.” Law’s eyes widen when he realizes what he said. Looking over to see if you caught his slip-up, he is grateful when he sees you looking at another knickknack on the shelf. His heart feels like it is going to jump from his chest. Despite all the chatter the thrift store holds, all he can hear is his own heart.
“Oh my gosh, Law, look! It’s a Sora: Warrior of the Sea mug! We have to get it!” Grabbing the mug, you hold it by its handle and pretend to drink out of it.
“Okay, I found my perfect find. Let’s go.” Just as you turn around, your face to face with a woman with a slight scowl on her face.
“Jeez! You scared me! Can I help you, ma’am?”
“Yes, actually. You see, my son loves Sora. So I was gonna buy him that mug for his tenth birthday. I just needed cash to buy it.”
“But this place takes cards?-”
“So I need you to hand it over so I can give my son his birthday present.” The lady reaches out to grab the mug from your hand, but you pull it away before she can.
“Woah, hey! Sorry, lady, but it’s mine now. It was on the shelf, so that means it’s up for grabs. You could’ve asked them to hold it. Finders keepers.” Was it mean? Perhaps, but you already had your mind set on this mug, and you couldn’t go home without it.
“You're really gonna ruin a child’s birthday over some stupid cup?!”
“First of all, it’s a mug. Second, yes, I am. It’s for someone I care about. And if it’s so stupid, go buy it on Amazon or buy him that Spider-Man cup behind us.” Too busy trying to leave the store and pay, you encase your hand in Law’s and start to drag him away from the lady.
“You really think there’s a child? I don’t think so. I think she wants it for herself.” You start ranting and ignore how your hand is still holding Law’s. Yet Law was overheating with how fast his heart was beating. The warmth of of your hand against his cold one felt unfamiliar, but it was more than welcomed. 
“2.99, please.” The sound of the cash register opening brought Law out of his trance. Once he was back to reality, he also noticed that your hand was no longer in his. Even though it was only in there for a second, the warmth was addicting. While his own hands were freezing, the calming feeling of your fingers intertwined with his own made a light pink spread across his face.
“Thanks, and have a good day.”
“You too! Okay, we can go now.” Motioning Law to fall you, you both head out of the thrift shop. The sun shone down on the two of you as you admired the Sora cup.
“Are you happy with your purchase?” Lay playfully comments when he sees you smile.
“Very, Now here!” Turning your body, you face Law and hold out the mug to him. Your whole face felt like it was on fire, but you pushed through it.
“What?”
“Here! I bought it for you…” With wide eyes, Law looks at you before looking down at the mug. Carefully, he grabs it from your hands and examines it. His heart pounded against his ribs and felt as if it was going to break free.
“For me?”
“Yeah. You’ve been so kind to me during this rough patch that I need to repay you. I know you're probably tired of me thanking you so much, but you really are my knight in shining armor at this time. Expect more gifts in the future, haha.” Putting your hands to your sides, you begin to fiddle with the bottom of your shirt. You watch Law look at the mug in shock before going back to his usual stoic demeanor.
“Thank you. And it’s fine.” There was a seconds silence before you spoke up.
“Well, where should we go next?”
“Going home sounds nice.” Law couldn’t help but roll his eyes at your pout.
“I promised Bepo I’d get him something! I can’t go home empty-handed!”
“I thought you said he needed a diet.”
“He does! I was gonna give him a little toy or perhaps a cat bed!”
“Cats never sleep in cat beds. They rather sleep on top of the fridge than in a bed.”
“Fine! Maybe some clothes.”
“You're not dressing up my cat.”
“I don’t know. Better keep an eye out, Law.” You nudge Law with a smile on your face. Hanging out with him made all the pain disappear, as his presence was calming and gave you hope that you’d be able to get through it all—perhaps even together. 
~~~
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janaispunk · 14 hours
Text
no one has to know what we do
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chapter 2 • series masterlist
pairing: Dave York x f!reader
summary: Try as you might, Dave and you can’t stay away from each other.
word count: 4.4k
tags/warnings: explicit smut -> 18+ mdni, dbf!Dave, unhealthy relationship dynamics, dom/sub dynamics, angst, daddy issues (reader’s dad sucks), able-bodied reader, reader has hair that Dave pulls, no use of y/n, divorced Dave, unprotected p in v, fingering, rough sex, dirty talk, praise kink, spanking, sooooo many pussy slaps (don’t look at us), pet names, let me know if anything is missing!
a/n: co-written with my love @joelscurls, who unfortunately couldn’t write this entire chapter the way we had originally planned, so you’re stuck with me again. if you notice that some parts are better written than others, those are most likely hers haha <3 this is lowkey my favorite thing that i’ve ever put out, and i hope you like it as much as i do 🤍
follow @joelscurlsupdates and @janaispunknotifs for updates and find jess’s masterlist here and my masterlist here :)
dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍
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The phone feels like a paperweight in your hand. It’s late — you should be sleeping, but you know it’s useless to even attempt shutting your eyes. It’s too loud in your head right now — that promise of just one time blaring: a warning. Still, you can’t help but consider ignoring it, texting David and begging to see him again.
It’s probably a bit pathetic, yearning for a man who made it clear he wanted nothing to do with you beyond a one night stand. Daydreaming about the timbre of his voice, the stretch of his cock. Getting his phone number from your father, who’s none the wiser. Your father, who is asleep in his own room just down the hall. Being home for the summer has never felt like such a burden.
Guilt eats at you as your fingers hover over the screen, David’s contact front and center. It would be so easy to send him a text right now, let him know you’re thinking about him. About the other night. But your conscience reins you in. Your father’s face flashes behind your eyes — rage and disappointment painting his features scarlet, and you drop the phone beside you on the mattress with a huff.
It’s difficult to even imagine the inevitable severity of his reaction if he ever found out. He’d probably cut you off, the revelation of you whoring around with his friend — and the possibility of this news getting out, tarnishing your family’s pure reputation — more than enough for him to disown you.
You hate him sometimes. Hate the life he’s forced onto you. You’re not even interested in studying law — not really. You never had a choice, though. It was determined before you even graduated high school that you’d follow in your dad’s footsteps. And as long as he’s funding your studies, your future, you have no right to complain. This is the life you should want. The life everyone wants. He reminds you of that fact regularly. Him, and his countless snooty club buddies.
But David — David is refreshing.
He doesn’t come from old money. He doesn’t pinch your cheeks and talk around you rather than to you, declarations of you must be so proud aimed at your father as you stand awkwardly to the side. You’re pretty sure he’s the first person outside of your professors to really look at you, take interest in anything you have to say in… god knows how long.
You can still feel his eyes boring into you. The subtle but tactful brush of his leg against yours under the table. The exhilaration that had thrummed in your veins. He’d made you feel something. You’d almost forgotten you could feel anything apart from stress and agitation. And as you lay in bed, mind swimming with arousal and impending remorse, you fear you may not be able to control yourself much longer, consequences be damned.
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He’s not expecting you to reach out.
Why would you? You’d mutually agreed on that night in his car being a one time thing — just a hookup; something he would’ve done before meeting Carol. Something he should probably be doing more often now. Except you’ve somehow sunk your teeth in him, injected him with a sort of venom.
Because all he can think about is seeing you again.
It’s wrong — beyond wrong. You’re so young; still in college, for christ sake. He never met you before the other night, but he’d been stationed overseas with your father when your mother was pregnant with you. He still remembers reading the letters she’d sent in care packages over his shoulder, the ones detailing her symptoms, what foods she was craving.
Strawberries. She always wanted strawberries. Maybe that’s why you’re so sweet.
He’s never been with a woman like you; never had someone trust him with so much vigor. Your needy little pleas, your vehement obedience, your desperation to take all of him in the driver’s seat of his car — you are nothing short of intoxicating.
Still, he tells himself you’re off limits. Trudges through the days that follow with the thought of you bouncing in his lap fogging his head. Struggles to focus at work and recovers in an increasingly poor manner when called on in meetings.
And then, late on a Friday night, you text him.
He only knows it’s you because you tell him so — your full name flashing across the screen followed by an apology for messaging him so late. You say you’re out with friends, and he’d probably have guessed anyway by the typos littering your sentences.
Seconds after the first, another text comes through:
[1:23am] csnt stop thinking about u. pls see me again i promise i won’t twll anyone
Fuck. Fuck.
His muscles tense; his cock twitches in his boxers. And before he does something stupid, like responds, he sets the phone face down on his bedside table. Stalks off to the bathroom with the intention of taking an icy-cold shower, detoxing himself best he can.
He hasn’t even closed the door yet when he hears it ring.
The rhythmic jingle drones through his studio apartment, and he all but leaps at the noise. Sure enough, it's you, calling him drunk in the middle of the night.
His head swims. He presses ‘answer’ anyway.
“David?” Your voice sounds so sugary-sweet, cloying with innocence. He can hear people in the background, maybe your friends, talking about getting another round of drinks.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” he asks first. You tell him yes; say you're waiting on a rideshare.
He exhales. And even though hearing you is making him dizzy with a fucked up sort of desire, echoes of your pleasured sounds ringing in his ears, he manages to maintain composure when you say, “can I please come over?”
“Don't think that's the best idea,” he mutters. The lack of conviction in his words would likely be painfully obvious if you weren't intoxicated. But you are, and you whine through the receiver at his rejection.
Dave fights to ignore the increasing stiffness in his boxers.
“Please,” you beg. Fuck, he loves the way you sound when you beg. “I just got off the phone with my dad…he doesn't want me coming home so drunk; said he's working on a case and I’ll be a nuisance.”
His heart breaks for you. For the girl who just wants a father who loves her, who sees her as a person with feelings. Dave can't imagine ever treating his daughters this way. Would never dream of it.
“C-can I?” your voice sounds through the speaker again — softer, less sure. Like you've prepared yourself already for the blow of him rejecting you too.
“Can't– can’t you stay with one of your friends?”
You sigh, defeated. “I want to stay with you.”
It’s not that he doesn’t want to. God, it would be so easy to say yes. To go and pick you up from the bar himself, bring you back to his place. Help you sober up a bit and fuck you until you can't take it anymore. But he can’t; he shouldn't even be speaking to you right now. He needs to cut this off. Needs to make it clear to you that you can't reach out to him again.
“You– we can’t.” He’s stern, direct. It pains him. “The other night shouldn’t have happened.” True, though he doesn’t regret it. Not one bit.
You’re quiet on the other end of the line for a second too long. When you finally do speak again, your voice breaks.
“You don’t like me?”
He’s going to tell you that of course that’s not it, that he’s been thinking about you constantly, that he wishes he could get you out of his fucking head. But he doesn’t get the chance. Because your friends are laughing boisterously around you, then, sounds growing more and more muffled through the speaker, and you’re telling him rather unceremoniously that you have to go.
The call disconnects with a beep.
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You wake the following morning with a dizzying headache, daylight burning a hole between your eyes. With your friend still soundly asleep, you slip out of her room and then her apartment; find yourself home just as your father is getting ready to leave for work.
His travel mug sits on the entrance table as he pulls his shoes on, and you're immediately met with the smells of coffee and his leathery cologne.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” he mutters as he grabs his briefcase. You don't dare look him in the eyes, lest you be met with their disapproving stare.
“Hi,” you reply, small and non confrontational. When he doesn't answer, you continue past him, begin your ascent up the stairs toward your room.
“Not very appropriate for a young professional, going out and getting wasted. Your future employer could've been there. Could've seen you acting like an imbecile.”
Annoyance furls behind your temples; makes the pounding in your head grow tenfold.
“Well then they probably won't be my future employer,” you snip.
“Probably not.”
You hear the front door close behind you and, with an agitated sigh, drag your feet the rest of the way up the stairs. You fall onto the covers of your bed, well aware that you should probably shower, but your body feels too heavy, in no way ready to move again just yet.
When you pull out your phone, ready for some mindless scrolling to numb your thoughts for a while, you’re met with a notification that sends your heart racing.
Have fun last night?
From David, sent five minutes ago.
You hastily scroll up, reading your own texts from last night, full of typos and barely coherent. csnt stop thinking about u. Your head falls back with a groan. You had gone out to forget about him, not to drunkenly confess your feelings to him in the middle of the night.
Now that you’re thinking about it, you also vaguely recall speaking to him. You tap on your call log and sure enough, there’s his name, only minutes after you texted him. You have no idea what you might have said to him, only a blurry memory of being upset about something. Great, this is great.
Sighing deeply, you go back to messages.
i was very drunk. sorry for bothering you
His reply comes almost instantly.
Who said you bothered me?
You’ve only met him once, and yet you can picture his smirk as if you’ve seen it a thousand times.
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Dave is sipping his coffee, black, no sugar, and listens to Jim going over his plans for the both of them going golfing next weekend, humming occasionally.
It pains him, looking at the man in front of him, while your voice from last night is still ringing through his head. How hurt you sounded, looking for a place to stay, not being welcome in your own home.
When Jim stands up to leave for work, he remains seated, gesturing towards his half eaten bagel, but assuring the other man that he doesn’t have to wait for him.
You still haven’t left his thoughts. If anything, the longing he feels for you has gotten worse since you told him how much you want to see him again. And he’s so tired of denying himself the one thing he really wants.
He’s patient, chipping away at the bagel until he sees your father’s gray Dodge peel out of the parking lot. And then he gives it another 10 minutes, just to be safe.
Come join me for coffee? I’m downtown at Roasted Beans.
You respond moments later — such an obedient little thing, you are — letting him know you’ll be there shortly. He finishes off his drink, discards the cup along with the bagel wrapper, and orders two fresh coffees.
He sees you before you see him. Eyes wide, lips parted ever so slightly, you look so cute as you scan the cafe. You’re wearing a sundress, the blue fabric dancing around your thighs with every turn of your body, and Dave finds himself entranced by you.
You smile when you finally catch sight of him, your entire face lighting up and he smiles back without a second thought.
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You shouldn’t meet him again. You really, really shouldn’t. But the conversation with your father this morning keeps replaying in your head, the disapproval weighing heavy on you, the feeling of being unable to do anything right.
You long for someone to look at you without judgment, for the sound of good girl against your skin. You long for David.
After last night and the fact that he obviously didn’t invite you over, you had thought that for him, maybe it really had been a just one time thing. Like you both had agreed on multiple times.
But then he’d texted you again, asking you to meet him. It’s almost embarrassing, how quickly you got ready, eager to see him again, despite knowing better.
On the drive over, you run through countless discussions in your head, trying to decide what you’re going to say to him. You have to be reasonable. There’s too much at stake. David is a mistake that you wouldn’t be able to come back from. You’re just going to meet him because he asked you to, because that’s the nice thing to do. It’ll just be coffee, nothing more.
Your resolve crumbles as soon as you see him. His eyes are already on you, their expression so full of want that it makes you ache. You walk over, feigning confidence as you slide onto the chair next to his, a quiet greeting on your lips. The deep, smooth sound of his voice when he returns it is enough to make you melt.
He has already ordered for you. It’s a small thing, rationally, but it’s once again more care, more attention than you’re used to. Warmth is spreading through your chest, but you try steeling yourself, forcing out the words that you’ve prepared to say.
“Listen, I want to apologize about last night. I shouldn’t have– I wasn’t thinking straight, I’m sorry for bothering–”
“Hey, sweetheart.” He interrupts your nervous stuttering, his hand gently wrapping around yours on the table. “I already told you that you didn’t bother me. If anything–” He sighs, his grip tightening. “I’m the one who’s sorry, you were looking for somewhere to stay, I shouldn’t have turned you down like that.”
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It breaks Dave’s heart, seeing how you’re making yourself smaller, how ready you seem for him to scold you. Your quiet You don’t like me? still echoes in his mind. How your own father didn’t care where his daughter spent the night, as long as she didn’t come home. Didn’t bother him.
He clocked the way your eyes widened in surprise at the coffee that he got you, how you huff a relieved breath when he assures you again that he’s not annoyed with you. You’re so sweet, so deserving of being loved and cared for, and he so desperately wants to be the person who does that for you.
He felt the same pull from that night towards you as soon as he laid eyes on you again, and it’s only gotten worse, now that you’re right next to him, now that he’s touching the soft surface of your hand. He vividly remembers how your skin felt under his fingertips, how you writhed against him.
The urge to get just a taste of that again becomes overwhelming. He holds your gaze as his fingers start gliding over your thighs under the table, inching towards the hem of your dress. Your lips part, the softest whimper escaping your throat at his touch.
He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t be touching you like this, shouldn’t be thinking about you like this. Can’t stop thinking about you. I want to stay with you. How is he supposed to keep away, to stop himself, when you come to him so willingly, so desperate to be wanted?
“David?” Fuck, he loves that you call him that. “Will you take me home with you? Please?”
He can tell that you’re scared to ask, bracing yourself to be rejected again. He’s not nearly as strong as you think he is.
“Yes. Come on.”
He pulls you to your feet and out of the door before either of you have the chance to change your minds.
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He’s a bad man, shouldn’t be getting off on having total control over you like this. He’s probably sick; should see that shrink Carol recommended a couple months ago after the divorce was officially finalized. But the way you’re looking at him — with the same big-eyed, doleful stare you’d given him that first night — tells him you want this. Need this, even. You long to relinquish control to someone other than your hawkish father.
So pliant in his lap, limbs all gooey and relaxed under his touch, it’s clear that you trust him. Maybe more than he trusts himself.
You’re spread out on his couch, clothes hastily discarded as soon as the both of you stumbled over the threshold, already entangled in each other. He’s led you to the living room, the thought of fucking you in his bed, of your presence lingering there, your scent permeating his sheets, the last invisible line that he’s determined not to cross.
He has been toying with your body, collected your wrists in a hold over your head and told you to keep them there while he flicked and tugged on your nipples, sucked marks into your skin while you writhed underneath him.
He’s taking it slow, now that you’re here with him, now that he has the time to thoroughly break you down and put you back together again.
You’re already soaked when he sinks a finger into you, your tight walls clenching around him immediately. You coo up at him — a needy little noise that has his resolve disintegrating in seconds flat — and you look relieved when his hand loosely wraps around your throat.
“Please,” you whisper then, and he tuts.
“You want me to take care of you?”
You nod.
“Then you take what I give you. No begging. Do I make myself clear?”
Another noise — this one smaller, stuck in your throat — and he’s pulling his finger out of you again, lips curling into a cruel smile.
He doesn’t give you any time to prepare before the first slap lands on your already-throbbing clit. You can’t help but shriek. In response, he tightens the grip on your throat slightly. Gives three more stinging smacks in quick succession. Dave almost doesn’t notice when your eyes begin to roll back. He does notice, however, when your hips begin to roll upward, your body chasing his hand.
“Oh, such a good girl you are,” he praises.
Slap.
“You love this, don’t you?”
“Mhm,” you moan, garbled and a little breathless.
Slap.
“Pathetic little girl. Bet you could come just from this, you’re so desperate. Couldn’t you?”
You gasp.
Slap.
“Answer me,” Dave demands. “Or I’ll stop.”
It’s almost comical how quickly you sputter the word yes, eyes desperately pleading with him to keep going. And he’s almost shocked just how badly you needed this. In this moment, any guilt he’d been feeling is replaced with the desperate desire to give you exactly what you crave.
He slaps you again, a little harder this time, and you wail. Your legs are trembling, but you make no move to close them, keeping yourself spread wide open and accessible for him.
He’s throbbing, fighting the urge to sink his cock into your tight heat, but he wants, needs to know how far he can push you. How far you’ll go for him.
You’re dripping onto his cushions and he collects some of your slick with his fingers, rubs them against your clit. Your skin is burning under his fingertips. He teases the oversensitive nub with gentle touches, relishes in the way your eyes are glued to his face, the way your lips are trembling as you’re silently pleading with him.
No words are escaping you, and you’re so good, making him so proud with how you’re following his commands.
He slaps your clit again, and again, and again, until you’re a babbling mess, your throat constricting against his grip and your back arching as you come with a cry. Wetness floods out of you and you’re shuddering in his hold, broken whimpers of his name falling from your lips.
He watches with sick fascination, almost unable to believe that he drove you to this point. How much you enjoy being treated like this. That you’re just as twisted as he is.
When you come down, your arms weakly reach for him and he scoops you up, pulls you into his lap until your face is nuzzled into his neck.
“Good girl,” he coos, gently stroking your hair, “you did so good.”
He gives you a few moments to rest, tracing shapes across your back, until his fingers dip deeper, gliding over your ass and between your spread legs, where you’re still so fucking wet.
You squirm under his touch, needy little sounds traveling up to his ears once more. “Please,” you whisper.
One hand grabs into your hair, pulling your head back until he can see your face. You look wrecked. Pupils blown wide, your eyes wet with tears, but what really gets him is the way you look at him. He had worried, for a second, that he might have been too rough, but there’s only pure trust and longing in your eyes.
“I thought I told you no begging.”
You bite your lip, furrow your brow in that adorable way of yours. “I’m sorry. It just– it all feels so good.”
He presses his thumb down on your bottom lip, releasing it from your teeth.
“I know it does, sweetheart. You need more?”
You nod quietly, your eyes wide and pleading.
“Alright then.” He turns you over so quickly that you gasp, scrambling for a second to get your bearings. You’re on all fours, your legs still spread, your ass on display for him.
He had wanted to prepare you a little more, to give you several of his fingers first before he stretches you out on his cock, but he can’t possibly hold back any longer. Judging from the loud moan that you let out, he thinks that you like the sting of him sinking into you unprepared.
It’s even better than he remembers, your slick walls engulfing him so tightly. He starts pounding into you, the depth of his thrusts jolting your body forward and forcing more sounds from you.
He wants you to still feel him tomorrow, wants you to remember him, wants to stake a claim that he knows he doesn’t have. He groans your name, his fingers digging into your hips, greedy for every part of you that he can reach.
Perfect, you’re so fucking perfect, giving yourself to him like this.
“Come on,” he growls, reaching down to find your clit again, rubbing in tight circles. “Give me another one.”
You cry out, pushing back against him. So fucking eager. He lands two quick slaps on your ass and you fall apart, trembling wildly as your walls pulse around him and you scream out his name.
He can’t hold himself back any more and follows you over the edge, pumping into you once more and holding your hips pressed against his.
You both collapse down onto his couch, a mess of tangled, sweaty limbs and quick breaths. You curl your body into his and he presses kisses against your cheeks, your temples, your lips.
Slowly, as he’s coming back to his senses, the guilt settles in.
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He lets go of you much too quickly, stands up and starts getting dressed quietly. You watch him for a moment, wracking your mind for something to say, before he looks at you.
“Get dressed. I’ll drive you home.”
He sounds cold, distant. So different from the man who just took you to heights that you didn’t know existed until now. You suppress a shiver and get up hastily. Suddenly, being naked around him feels much too exposed, too vulnerable for your liking.
You pull your dress over your head and slide your shoes back on, but one crucial item is missing.
“Did– did you see my underwear?” you force yourself to ask. He shakes his head, not gracing you with a verbal answer.
Eventually, you give up the search and follow him down the stairs and into his car. The silence grows, until its weight is pressing down, almost suffocating you. You steal glances at him, but his eyes are fixed on the road, staring straight ahead, never wavering. A muscle in his jaw is ticking.
The mix of his spend and yours is pooling between your legs, but it makes you feel dirty now. You force down the lump that’s building in your throat.
When he stops in front of your house, you scramble out of the car without a word. You don’t know what would be worse, if he said goodbye like nothing was wrong or if he remained silent. You don’t want to find out.
It’s late in the evening, you’re lying on your bed, eyelids squeezed shut, willing sleep to finally overtake you. Thoughts keep spiraling through your head, so many questions that you have no answers to.
He asked you to meet up, for fuck’s sake. You don’t understand why he’s treating you like this, but you’re determined to not let it happen again. Just two times, you think with a bitter scoff.
Your phone vibrates on your bedside table, indicating a new message.
[11:55pm] I can’t stop thinking about you either.
Attached is a photo. A photo of a familiar lacy scrap of fabric, grasped in his hand and covered in milky white cum.
It’s filthy, and wrong, and you feel yourself getting obscenely wet at the thought of him touching himself with your missing panties clutched between his fingers.
Maybe just one more time.
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thank you for reading 🤍 if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending an ask, it truly makes my day every single time!
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princessmaybank · 21 hours
Text
Good Girl
Pairings: Boyf!Rafe x Gf!Fem!Reader x JJ
Warnings: Cheating, nudes, spanking, degradation, spanking, 3some, p in v, oral (both), fingering, voyeurism, creampie, etc.
Summary: Reader accidentally sends a nude to the wrong guy.
Authors Note: This is my first time writing something like this! Please be kind! I hope you enjoy!
Moodboard
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Fuck. Rafe had me so fucking horny all day. It's not even his fault..I have been thinking about him dicking me down since lunchtime. The ache between my legs was almost too much at this point. My core was begging to be touched, but unfortunately Rafe isn't home. He went on a business trip with Ward, leaving it to me to pleasure myself. He did tell me to message him any time I feel horny and he would try his best to help, so I might just have to do that.
I was home alone because my parents were making some deals over dinner with some new clients.
But before I do anything, I really want to take a shower, I feel disgusting after work every time. I work at a little restaurant called The Wreck with my friend Kie. She got me the job when I told her I didn't want to work for my parents, at least not yet. Since I started working with her, I've met her friends and they seem to like me, well for the most part. JJ is still warming up to me, and he hates Rafe for some reason. All of them do. I understand he can be an asshole sometimes, but I wouldn't go as far as to say I hate him.
After I took my shower I didn't bother putting clothes on. I wanted to send Rafe a little surprise while he was gone.
Y/N: I took this for you baby
Y/N: Photo
I quickly hit send because I was nervous about his reaction but deep down I know he'll love it. I heard a ding from my phone, letting me know I got a message.
???: All for me? Damn Y/L/N...maybe I was wrong about you
My eyes nearly popped out of my head as my heart was beating against my chest. Then I heard another ding come from my phone.
???: Photo
Only a second later and another message came through.
???: That one's all for you.
I sent my fucking nude pic to JJ?? And he sent me one back? How the hell did that happen??? I started freaking out, knowing that Rafe would fucking kill him..and me, but mainly him.
JJ: What made ya come to your senses?
I had no idea how to respond to him. This has never happened before. Maybe I should just be honest.
Y/N: oh hey..can you just delete that and pretend you never saw it...? that wasn't meant for you JJ...
JJ: if it was sent to me, I was meant to see it, the universe just works that way ;)
He saw that I opened the text and that I wasn't responding. Those three dots popped up as he was typing.
JJ: okay, hey I'm sorry. where u at rn? I'll come meet ya n we can talk bout this
My heart nearly bursts out of my chest when I read that message. I'm nervous and I don't know what to do. Fuck. I should clear the air with him.
Y/N: my house..
JJ: drop your pin
I hesitate before sending this man my address. This could go horribly wrong, and I don't have Rafe here to protect me. Whatever, I'm already in this deep and it's just JJ what's the worst he could do?
Y/N: 📍
JJ: omw
I stood from my bed and started looking for an outfit to wear. I don't know why I cared what I looked like for JJ..I shouldn't, but I did. I ended up choosing a little white skirt with a cute blue crop top to go with it.
It took maybe 10 minutes before I heard a knock at my door. I still wasn't entirely sure if I should answer it, knowing who was on the other side, and knowing what he just saw...
I decided that I should just open the door and hopefully he'll understand the mistake.
My heart started pounding again as my hand reached for the knob. Suddenly I was greeted by a familiar face...but it wasn't JJ...
"Rafe?? " I question sounding more shocked than happy. "What are you doing here?" My anxiety was through the roof at this point, knowing JJ is probably just around the corner. Rafe let himself into my house by grabbing my face and pulling me into a heated kiss. He used his foot to kick the door closed, then pinned me against the wall next to it.
"Wanted to surprise my princess. The job got done early. I landed 30 mins ago, rushed over to see you." He says all while rubbing me up and down. "Look at this fuckin outfit, almost like you knew I was coming over princess.." He reached hand up my skirt and soon realized I wasn't wearing any panties. "Naughty girl.." Rafe smirked before attacking my neck.
About a minute later there was a knock on the door. He waved it off and said to just ignore them and they'll go away. Another knock pounded from the other side of the door. "Y/N?? Are you home?" You recognized his voice. Rafe pulled away looking slightly confused before looking through the peephole.
"What the fuck is JJ doing here?" He said gritting his teeth. I toyed with my fingers and bit my lip not knowing how to tell him the truth. Next thing I know he swings the door open.
"Hey ba- Rafe?? ...Was this a fuckin set up?" JJ questioned. I shook my head no as both men stared at me.
JJ came inside and closed the door behind him before joining Rafe and I in the living room. I was told to sit on the couch so I obeyed. The guys stood in front of me towering over me with their arms crossed, trying not to kill me or each other.
"What is he doing here?!" They both asked angrily at the same time. "Can you two sit down before I continue?" I ask shyly. The guys responded with a harsh 'No' timed almost as perfectly as before.
"Okay so here's what happened..." I trail off and explained the entire situation before Rafe turns to face JJ, looking like he is about to murder him.
At some point Rafe lunged at JJ and I had to get in the middle. Rafe grabbed my shoulders trying to move me out of the way. JJ had his hands on my hips trying to keep me in between them. It felt like they were going to split me in half.
It took a while but I eventually got them to go talk it out in my room. I can't speak guy, so maybe they would have an easier time hearing it from each other.
After a while I didn't hear them talking anymore, which was concerning, Rafe may have actually killed JJ..
I went to my room and knocked before entering. I was greeted with a naked Rafe picking me up before laying me on my bed. He placed his lips on mine, giving me one of the most intense kisses I've ever had. "Rafe- whe-wheres J-" I tried to question. "Don't worry about it. He's fine. Enjoy this." He kissed down my jaw and to my sweet spot, sucking on it for as long as he could, in order to mark me.
Rafe doesn't usually give me hickies unless he is angry-fucking me. He must have sent JJ home after their talk so we could have this moment. At least he's not mad at me anymore.
"So you wore this slutty outfit for Maybank huh?" He asked and flipped me onto my stomach, hiking my skirt up above my ass. "And no fuckin panties. You really are a fuckin slut." Rafe huffed before giving me a hard slap across my ass, causing me to yelp as a tear prickled in my eye.
"I'm gonna make you choke on my fuckin cock.." He smirks before flipping me back over. He comes over and hovers my face, his knees on either side of my head. Rafe dipped his cock into my mouth slowly before full on fucking my mouth. "Mmm yeah, suck that fucking cock you whore!" He somewhat gently slaps my face, still pushing in and out of my throat.
As I was gagging on Rafe's dick I felt something down between my legs. A cold, wet, tongue met the heat between my legs and I couldn't see it. "Wait till you see her face Maybank, she makes a pretty face when you fuck her." Rafe announced which resulted in a hum from the mouth attached to my clit.
JJ was eating me out...while Rafe was fucking my face...
Fuck.
I moaned onto Rafe's dick as he continued to fuck my throat. In turn, my moans made Rafe moan. "How'd you say she liked it Rafe..." JJ questioned before shoving his cock inside of me. A loud moan escaped the best it could when he filled me up. "...by surprise, right?" He chuckled as Rafe nodded.
JJ's thrusts caused Rafe's thrusts to go faster and harder. But they both stopped suddenly. Pulling out of both of my holes and they stood next to the bed, hovering me. "What was that??" I questioned, now blushing from seeing JJ's dick for the first time.
Of course he noticed and had to be an ass. JJ smirked at me while stroking himself. "Don't pretend you didn't like it princess.." He slows his motions down before he eventually stops. "Not saying I didn't like it- just confused. You two were literally just about to kill each other, and now you're fucking me." I say confused.
"We came to a conclusion baby. You lead JJ on..and you cheated on me. But we are ready to forgive you, if you let us have some fun with you babydoll.." Rafe simply stated, making me feel like shit because that was not my intention. I tried to counter what he said, but he just shushed me.
"Whaddya say princess?" JJ asked with a smirk. "Yea I mean...it's the least I could do.." I smile sheepishly to them. Rafe stepped between my legs and gave me a long kiss. "I love you, but I want you to understand that this is a one time thing so JJ doesn't have to keep pining after you. So whatever you want from him, make sure you get it from him now, you're still mine." Rafe explained. I'm surprised he's acting this way. He never lets anyone touch his things, especially me.
"What's first?" I asked the guys. "Just let us make you feel good baby, you won't have to do any work, unless you wanna." JJ said settling on the bed next to me. "You said anything I want?" I looked up to Rafe with glossy eyes. He nods with his arms crossed.
"JJ can I suck your dick while Rafe fucks me?" I started to blush because never in a million years did I think this would be happening. "I'd love that princess." He smiled at me.
I got off the bed and got to my knees in front of JJ. My hands sat on his thighs as my mouth lowered onto his cock. "Hmmm fuck.." He moaned out, placing his hand on my head. I felt Rafe come over and line himself up with me. "I love this fuckin skirt baby.." He says before slipping into my wet pussy, which caused me to moan on JJ's dick, which caused JJ to let out a moan of his own.
The guys were trying to set a steady pace between the both of them. JJ was bobbing my head up and down in time with Rafe's thrusts, and boy did it feel, so fucking good.
At one point they made me feel so good and I let out a long moan.
"Good Girl "
I heard them both say at the same time. A string of moans were escaping us all as they continued. Rafe was pounding into me as fast as he could. JJ was now standing with a fistful of my hair, fucking my face. I popped my mouth off of JJ and replaced it with my hand. "If you two don't stop going full force- I'm gonna cum right now.." I whine out.
They both groaned as they pulled away. I got back on the bed and sat in between them, one hand each, shooting to their hair, and massaging. They both started feeling me up, placing kisses wherever they could reach. The moment was over as fast as it came. JJ sat with his back against my headboard and pulled me to sit between his legs.
Rafe crawled onto the bed after JJ put his legs between mine to keep them spread open. I couldn't close them even if I wanted to. Rafe laid between my legs and started lightly sprinkling kisses on my lower lips.
JJ attached his lips to my neck, giving me a hickey, opposite to the one Rafe had made earlier.
Rafe moved to my clit with his mouth and inserted a few fingers into my hole. I gasped and JJ put his hands under my shirt in response.
"Why ya still wearin' this baby? Shoulda been gone a long time ago.." He says before taking my crop top off. Leaving me in my bra and my skirt. He groped my tits as Rafe sucked and fingered me. I was a moaning mess. Everything felt too good. "Guys- l-like I said before..." I say but it's too late and I cum all over Rafe's fingers.
Rafe sat up before placing his fingers in his mouth, sucking off every little drop that was left of me. "Good girl.." He smirked at me. "But, you gotta cum for JJ too princess.." Rafe stated.
I was still coming down from my high. "Cum again..?" He only nodded before sitting in the chair in front of my vanity. He turned it so he could see us sitting on the bed.
"Go ahead Maybank..." He smirked. Just as he was given the green light, JJ flipped us over so he was hovering me. "Hey there princess..." He smirked before planting a kiss on my lips. This felt so wrong to do so I looked to Rafe for some guidance.
He just sat there slowly rubbing his dick, watching us. He nodded for me to continue.
Suddenly this felt so right. I was supposed to have fun with JJ, for Rafe. JJ leaned down to my ear to whisper. "You looked so fucking good in that picture you sent me." He started kissing my neck. "I know you sent it on purpose, don't worry I won't tell him." He whispered.
His hands lifted me off the bed to take my bra off. JJ threw the garment to the side, landing in front of Rafe. He kissed me so hungrily and so passionately it almost hurt. "Jayj..." I whimpered into the kiss. He started grinding his hips against me, his dick touching my clit every time. "I know princess.." He whispered. "C'mere, I wanna make you cum in doggy." He says then plants another kiss to my lips.
I got up on my hands and knees before JJ could move me. "Wrong way baby...I wanna see your face when he fucks you..." I heard Rafe say from the chair. I turned around just like he asked. JJ got behind me when I was settled. I heard a spitting sound and a second later I felt his hand lathering my hole. "Mmmm" I moaned while I grinded back onto his fingers.
"Patience baby.." JJ said before slapping my hole which resulted in me letting out another moan. He grabbed his cock and started teasing my slut with his tip. I moved to lay on my forearms with my ass in the air. My eyes wandered over to Rafe, he was still stroking himself slowly while watching us. His lips curled up into a smirk when he saw the face I made when JJ pushed his length into pussy.
I let out a loud moan and looked Rafe in the eyes as JJ slowly rocked his hips. As JJ quickened his pace, Rafe did too. Almost like he wasn't to cum with us, but didn't want...involved..?
The room was filled with the sounds of moans and skin slapping against each other as JJ fucked me senseless. Rafe had rolled his head back but his eyes stayed on us.
I felt JJ reach for my hair and pull it back, making me arch. The slightly new angle was enough to push me over the edge. "You're such a a good fucking girl for me..." JJ says as I moan out. "JJ harder.." I couldn't say anything else. It was odd moaning another mans name but they both loved it, which made me feel dirty.
JJ gladly fucked me harder. I was going between watching Rafe fuck his hand and watching JJ in the mirror. "Fuck you're so tight princess..." He dragged out. "I'm so close Jayj..." I announce with a whine. Rafe caught my attention with a low groan. I looked over and saw his cum shooting up onto his stomach.
He was still yanking himself, riding out his high, when he said "JJ I want you to cum in her fucking pussy". I couldn't help but moan, feeling JJ's thick cock in my pussy, watching Rafe cum, and him saying THAT.
JJ let go of my hair and held my hips, bringing them backwards to meet his. We were both a moaning mess and Rafe was just watching, sitting there in his mess. He looked afraid to blink, like he was going to miss something. I pushed back onto JJ's dick, wanting more, he was making me feel so good and I didn't want it to end.
"Fuck Jayj- i-im gon-gonnaaa cum" I squeal out. "Me too princess. Are you ready?" I nod after he asked. He counted us down before with both released together, screaming each other's names. I fucked myself with his dick, riding out my high.
"Good girl.." He said biting his lip, helping guide my ass. He slipped out when we were done and gave me a long sloppy kiss, trying to savor the moment, knowing it would never happen again.
Rafe walked away at some point to clean himself up, JJ and I just continued to make out to fill the silence and need. When Rafe returned we all sat on the bed talking about what just happened. "How did it feel?" Rafe asked me. "He's really good.." I say panting, getting butterflies from the recent memory. He smiled at me and JJ before speaking.
"Y/N, I loved the way your face looked when JJ was taking you from behind..." He said while rubbing my back. "I suggest we make this a regular thing." I nearly choked when I heard him say that.
Rafe Cameron...never...shares.
"I 1000% agree" JJ said almost too enthusiastically which made me giggle. "That was both the craziest and sexiest shit I've ever been a part of. Of course I'd love to." I say smiling.
He smiled and I could tell he had a mischievous thought. "Next time I wanna try something new." He smirked to me and JJ.
"I will do whatever you two want if it feels that good.." I blush, looking between both of them.
"Good girl " They are so creepy with that shit...but it's so sexyyyy.
74 notes · View notes
j0kers-light · 3 days
Text
His Lighthouse: Coordinates to Home (LedgerJoker x f!reader)
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Coordinates to Home - Oneshot
KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER UPDATE!
In light of this post, I give you Joker with tattoos! Don't tempt me, cuz I’ll write it! I did not use this mini oneshot to stall writing the next chapter. I had to get this out of my head and onto digital paper before I lost it my marbles. Child I literally wrote this at my desk so I apologize if there’s anything errors. I hope you enjoy!
taglist:
@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse @jaysmentalspace @she-could-never @that--thing
Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! Be alerted with any oneshots and the main story updates! 🖤✨
You had to be seeing things because there was no way Joker, of all people, had a tattoo.
It didn’t make sense given that tattoos were so unique. They were used to identify people for crying out loud! Was he really that careless? You found it hard to believe that J would have one given his illegal (and wanted) status in the world.
Unless.. he acquired them before becoming The Joker. If so, you had to know what it was!
For a moment you thought it was just a trick of the light. Another blemish, for a monument to his hard life was etched onto his skin already. What was another mark to a man like Joker?
Old scars, deep battle wounds, and one gnarly area below his rib cage, ‘a bomb gone wrong’ he told you, made identifying the possible tattoo difficult. It just blended in with his silvery skin.
Additionally, you had to pretend that you weren’t intrigued less Joker would feel your gaze and thwart your attempts. He had come a long way to be confident with his body, more so around you.
In the beginning, he didn’t remove his clothes at all if you were nearby. Now Joker practically walked around nude. You definitely weren’t complaining yet this was the first time you looked at him in great detail.
What could you say? When Joker took off his clothes, your mind quickly became… distracted.
It was a peaceful morning with the sun pouring in through the windows and Gotham had yet to begin its corruption. Not like it ever took a break.
You and Joker were safely tucked away in the comfort of your bed.
J was knocked out, flat on his stomach, and for once you woke up before him. It was rare to see Joker asleep, so you took the opportunity to admire your lover while it lasted.
The stress of his title was far removed from his features. His face was bare of any greasepaint and surprisingly his hair wasn’t dyed its signature green. J had promised not to color it when around you, thus his natural sun kissed hair was askew all over the sheets.
A gentle smile curled the corner of his scarred lip, and the sight made you copy the action. Joker looked at peace.
Any other morning you would’ve counted his freckles or kissed his nose—today you were on a mission.
Joker was an extremely light sleeper, causing you to move with caution until you straddled his lower back. There you had full access to view his most vulnerable side. A ray of sunlight hit Joker just right and you held back a sigh, seeing all the pain he endured over the years.
Some other time you would kiss them one by one.
Your fingertips grazed the site where you first caught a glimpse of his potential tattoo.
And much to your surprise, a sentence in a language unfamiliar to you was written out in red ink. It almost blended with his skin and if you weren’t intentionally looking, you would’ve never found it.
“Everything burns.”
You jumped hearing Joker’s sleep filled voice recite the text. He turned his head toward you, groggy from sleep but still handsome as ever. Right now, he resembled a grumpy cat deprived of sleep.
You had the decency to be guilty. “I didn’t mean to wake you, J. G-Go back to sleep.” You whispered.
Fat chance of that happening.
Once Joker was up, it would take an act of congress to get him back asleep. Both of you knew that. He yawned and rolled onto his back, extending a hand to hold your hip steady during the position change.
“J… I’m so sorry for waking you. I know you’re exhausted from last night and…”
Why were you still talking? The damage was already done.
“Hush Bunny.” Joker blinked away the last of his sleep to finally rest his eyes on you. Being woken up this early was worth it if this was the reward.
You bathed in the morning sun, gazing down at him like a deity. How did he get so lucky? His thumbs rubbed soothing circles on your hips, as he hummed.
“Mm. I got such a errr curious little Bunny. Did ya find what you were uhh, looking for?”
The sound of his voice so early in the day should honestly be illegal— but you shook your head clear to focus. Now was not the time to be horny.
You did in fact find what you sought out for, but its discovery only opened more questions.
“What language is it in and.. um why use red ink?” You asked.
How did he get access to ink? Was the tat written his native tongue? And it was so tiny, no bigger than your index finger in length. Who can tattoo that small? Joker could see the swarm of questions buzzing in your head.
“Now, now Bunny. Tattoos are powerful messages! Red ink is perfect for uh hiding them in plainnn sight. Why, you’ve seen everyyy inch of me doll and you didn’t notice it.” He stopped to smirk, “Or the others.”
Your bunny ears perked up, “Others?”
Joker thought you were the cutest. He could see every emotion you displayed in real time. He winked at you.
You neglected the fact that Joker didn’t fully answer your question. You were on the hunt for the others. Joker hissed when your cold hands came in contact with his chest but chuckled at his bunny’s avid curiosity.
“You won’t find them like this, my Light. Be a dear and move?” He playfully bucked his hips, causing you to lose your balance.
“Oh!” You fell over and watched as Joker sat up and presented his back to you. It was an honor indeed and you kissed J’s cheek for the amount of trust he gave you.
You hardly saw his back given it was a sore spot for him. But sure enough, the sun’s gaze illuminated his skin for your search, and you saw it all.
Joker inhaled and your eyes dropped down to a patch of skin in wonder. “It’s white ink!” You gasped, “I never seen white before..”
You found a set of dates (no surprise, missing the year), a line of coordinates, another phrase in the same looking foreign language, and an exaggerated smiley face but in black ink. Each little gem was a rabbit’s hole into Joker’s character. You were almost afraid to touch them, it didn’t seem real.
He spun around to kiss you, but you wouldn’t be distracted.
In between kisses and gasps for air you asked, “What do they all mean?” It was your turn to shiver when Joker’s hands came in contact with your body. He was removing your night shirt when he huffed in irritation.
“Do they neee~eeed to have a meaning Y/n?” He pulled back to let you moan out in want. His hands were making it difficult to string sentences together.
“N-No but..” you wavered, and J used your hesitation against you.
“But nothing.”
He pushed you down on the bed and grinned at the hazy look in your eye. You wanted this too. Joker rubbed your knees until you got the message and parted your legs for him.
Joker slotted himself in the space you created and guided you to wrap your legs around his hips. Your hands traveled up his shoulder blades and down to where you now knew his tattoos resided.
With each mind-numbing kiss, you worked hard to memorize every bump and ridge. You weren’t letting this go. If Joker wouldn’t tell you, you’d find out for yourself.
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This was dangerous and probably one of the dumbest things you ever did.
Joker was out terrorizing Gotham City tonight, leaving you home alone and burning with curiosity. It was safe to say that you were obsessed.
J gave you plenty of chances to study the grooves of his tattoo with all the sex he instigated. It didn’t matter that you had to learn it backwards, you needed to know what his tattoos meant! You drew what you could duplicate in your notebook and hoped it was correct.
At first you were confused. Joker’s tattoo resembled Braille with its raised font; however, one engine search later found that prison tattoos or ones of lesser value, were not the best and scarred the flesh worse than a professional.
Joker’s tattoos were literally carved into his skin. His threshold for pain was a cause for concern.
After shivering in disgust, you opened a latitude and longitude finder and started entering the coordinates by trial and error.
You were excited to learn more about Joker even if your methods were a bit unconventional. Perhaps it was his old childhood home or the town where he was born! The coordinates were next to tiny Roman numerals for a date, so you assumed that was the meaning behind his tattoos.
Something this important on a man like Joker was bound to be epic.
He certainly went to great lengths to keep it concealed. It was located on his back, in white ink, and no bigger than three to four inches in diameter. Whatever it was, you would solve it.
You were biting your lip in anticipation when the map completed its search. The results shocked you. “Huh? That’s…”
“Home.”
You screamed upon hearing Joker right behind you. He had a habit of sneaking up on you, but today took the cake.
“Joker what are you doing here?! You almost gave me a heart attack! I thought you were staying in Amusement Mile tonight?!”
He ignored all your panic induced questions to focus on your computer. A GPS tracker had finalized its results and dropped a pin smack dab on your apartment. He glanced at your notebook where your handwriting matched the tattoos on his back.
His Light was too curious for her own good.
“If ya want-ed to know.. you could’ve asked me, Y/n.”
“Oh! I know you lying!” You asked him what they meant weeks ago, and he didn’t say! Now he wanna speak up? This man know he got on your last nerve!!
You had the urge to throw something, but you kept your cool.
Joker seemed to enjoy your irritation. He shrugged off his coat and made himself comfortable at your desk. He chose to ignore you calling him a liar, though.
“Are ya done, doll?” He mused.
“No, I’m not!” you tapped the computer screen, “Why does it point here?” You asked.
Joker twirled around in your desk chair, throwing you a ‘are you kidding me’ look. He was having a grand old time acting like a whole kid; you were waiting for an explanation.
He was making you dizzy so you reached out and stopped his little merry go round ride. J laughed and waited for the room to stop spinning before grabbing your hand.
“I uh de-cide-ed to keep a.. permanenT record of home on me should I ahh, ever get.. lost. Smart huh?”
Never mind the fact he couldn’t see it, you were touched.
You caved and walked straight into Joker’s lap. His hands found their rightful place on your hips as he looked up at his Light.
Your hands busied themselves in his hair, curling wayward strands around your fingers. “I-I’m home to you?”
J just nodded and quickly regretting the motion after spinning around so much.
“And the date?”
His lips pecked your exposed midriff before he rested his head against it. “The uh.. day we met.”
How do you respond to such a heartfelt confession? Simple. You don’t.
All you could do was blink back tears and pray that Joker didn’t hear you crying. Maybe he did since his grip tightened around you. Silence enveloped the room. Hidden within the scars of his past was a reminder of a brighter future.
Joker was grateful you didn’t poke any further and deduced the other portion of his tattoo. He told you the first half that was written in red ink, but not the added line in white.
Underneath the coordinates to home and the day he found his light, a vow was etched in a language he long since forgotten.
Everything burns, but not her.  
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mayajadewrites · 2 days
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Sweet Secret (Levi Ackerman x Reader)
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Pairing: Levi Ackerman x F! Reader CEO Levi Ackerman coming in hot. I've been wanting to write a CEO Levi/Sugar daddy Levi story for a hot minute. Enjoy! Summary: You needed a job. Ackerman Inc was hiring for an in house assistant for none other than the CEO: Levi Ackerman. He's known to be essentially the worst to work with, you decide to take the job and take on the challenge that is Levi Ackerman. Will your relationship remain professional, or will their be monetary value added to the stakes? Or possibly even... love? ao3 Chapter Five: Arrangement
The work day is finally over and you could not be more relieved to go home. Levi piled on work for you already - you’ve been scheduling meetings for him all day while also making sure the office is clean. 
Not to mention he’s been avoiding you like the plague.
You packed up your tote, gently sliding your laptop in the bag. When you look up you see Levi exiting his office, locking the door behind him. 
For the first time in hours, he looked at you. He looks… exhausted. You notice the dark circles under his eyes as he starts walking toward you.
Your eyes locked with his and time felt like it stopped. You were almost consumed by the way he looked at you. 
You cleared your throat to break the tension - although you wanted to throw yourself on him and let him devour your body. 
“Let’s go.” He said lowly as he gripped his briefcase. You nod and follow him, careful not to walk next to him.
Silence.
That was all you heard the entire night.
Silence.
You can’t help but wonder if you did something wrong. Maybe Levi regrets giving you a chance at a job. After all, you’re just a broke woman who was desperate for a job.
You let out a deep sigh that you felt like you were holding in for hours. Just then, your phone pings with a message from your sister.
> How was your first day?!
It was regular. A lot of work but my coworkers seem nice. <
> I’m so happy for you! I’m going out tonight, just watch my location for me please!
Lex… please be careful. <
Your sister always worried you when she went out. She has a tendency to drink until she can’t see anymore. She’s 18, so you don’t blame her, but she’s already mixing herself in the wrong crowd.
She’s legally an adult now. Nothing more you can do.
You turn your phone’s volume up in case Alexis calls you, but you fall asleep praying that that call never comes.
______________________________
The next week you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around Levi, but you’re getting work done and you haven’t seemed to upset him just yet. Even Erwin is impressed with what you’ve done so far.
“We’re gonna have to get you to master Levi’s cup of tea.” Erwin joked as he took a sip of his coffee. “He’s quite particular.” 
“Don’t I know it.” You laugh as you finish replenishing the break room with supplies. “I don’t even dare try to make it for him. He would probably spit it right out.”
You can’t help but feel like you’re missing Levi. The conversations you’re having with him are very one sided, and always about work. It’s not the same Levi you spent time with. It’s the Levi that everyone else sees.
You haven’t cooked together all week. He hasn’t brought you tea since the first day. Once you arrive home, it’s almost like you don’t exist. He sometimes needs you to call someone at home, but he’ll text you the instructions.
__________________________
You’re doing you’re daily cleaning at the house when you hear Levi’s footsteps.
“Oi, come here.” Levi called for you in the kitchen.
“Yes Levi?” You stand next to him, not sure what he’s going to say next. 
“I have something I want to run by you, and you can say no.” 
“Okay…” You raise an eyebrow, placing your hands on the counter. 
“How would you feel about… an arrangement between you and I?”
“Excuse me?” 
“An… arrangement.” 
“I heard what you said.” Your eyes wander to his. “You have to be more specific. What kind of arrangement?”
“One where I give you money and you do things with me.”
“I already work for you.” 
“No.” Levi shakes his head. “I don’t mean that. I mean, you come with me to events, vacations, and I give you money. Or an… allowance.”
“I’m confused. You already pay me-“
“To be my assistant, yes.” Levi plants his hands on the counter, looking down at his fingertips. “You and I get along quite well I think.” 
“I would say so.” 
“I don’t usually like anyone. And I like you.” Levi peers through his jet black locks to look at you. “I’m offering money for you spending time with me.”
You’re stunned. This man really thinks you’re a charity case. The last thing you want from Levi is his money just because you’re broke.
“I don’t want your money, Levi.” 
“I know you send your sister money.” Levi crossed his arms over his chest. “And I know you want to experience all that life has to offer. I can give that to you, no emotions attached.” 
“I’m not a tax write off, Levi. You can’t help me to make yourself feel better.”
“I’m not doing this for me. Well, I kind of am. I’ve done this arrangement before with women but they were only interested in the money. We could never talk - I don’t think they ever even stepped foot in my house.”
You look at Levi who looks… vulnerable. You want to hug him so tightly it feels like you’re glued to him. 
“You’ve… done this before?” 
“Yeah. I’m not good at connecting with people.” 
“So you’ve paid for se-“
“If we had sex, it was consensual and I did not pay for it.” Levi tilted his head to the side. “It was a bonus.” 
You nod your head, thinking about what this ‘arrangement’ entails. You’re already his assistant, and already living in his house. 
It would be nice to go on vacation once in a while. You’ve never actually been on vacation before. The farthest you’ve gone was a dirty beach 30 minutes from your house that your parents dragged you to just so they could get their fix.
“If I agree to this, we need to make rules.” You finally speak.
“Fire away.” Levi’s voice sounds like velvet. 
This man knows exactly what he’s doing.
“No markings. Where anyone can see, at least.” 
You peaked Levi’s interest at the words ‘where anyone can see’. His eyebrows raised as he took a mental note of your rule.
“Go on.” Levi tapped the counter with his fingertips. 
“I do not want special treatment at work. I would rather it be… our little secret.”
“Okay, anything else?”
“I want to sleep in my own bed. So no sharing beds even after we…”
“Fuck?” 
“Levi.” You roll your eyes. “IF we do.” 
You know damn well that if is more like a when.
“Do you have any rules you would like to present to the court today?” You press your chin to the palm of your hand, leaning over the counter.
“No affection outside of bedroom activities. This is a transaction almost - no emotions. Don’t expect me to kiss you good morning or any of that shit.” 
“Okay. Can I date other people or would you rather me not?”
Your question seemed to have stumped Levi. He searched your face for an answer because he couldn’t come up with one himself.
“For now, if you find someone you want to pursue, tell me. If you’re sleeping with someone else I would rather you not sleep with me also.”
You nod as you hold your hand out. “So we have a deal?”
Levi chuckles only for a second before shaking your hand. “Deal.” 
As Levi turns around, you think about what you just agreed to. Levi Ackerman is not only your boss, but he’s also your sugar daddy. Ymir would be so proud of you right now, while Historia would be silently judging. 
You can’t lie, you’ve thought about pressing your lips to Levi’s pillow soft ones – exploring every inch of his body. His callused hands massaging your thighs while sneaking in squeezes to your ass.
Your eyes linger to Levi’s back once again, observing the way his muscles are moving under his black t-shirt. Your eyes then went to his neck, then his undercut that’s begging to be touched.
To distract yourself from the heat that’s pooling in your core, you text Ymir.
> Ymir.
Don’t start off a conversation like that. What’s up? <
> My boss is now also my sugar daddy.
INCOMING CALL FROM YMIR
You almost run to your room and close the door behind you. 
“Bitch I text you for a reason!!” You half whisper.
“You cannot just text me that Levi Ackerman is now your sugar daddy and not expect me to call you! I didn’t think you had it in you kid!”
“We just discussed it. He brought it up.”
“That’s probably why he was so quiet with you this week.” Ymir says as she pulls the phone between her ear and shoulder. “He wanted to make sure that he knew what he wanted and what he wanted to say to you.” 
“I’m nervous, Ymir.” 
“Girl you are living the DREAM! I know I like women but Levi is a handsome ass man. And you don’t have to worry about him feeling some type of way about anything because there are no emotions!”
You don’t know if that’s a blessing or a curse. 
You hear Levi’s footsteps going up the stairs, making your heart race.
“I gotta go.” 
“Tell me how big his di-“ You hang up, throwing your phone on your bed. You pretend to be folding your laundry when you hear a knock.
“Come in.”
“Hey, just wanted to make sure you’re okay with everything.” Levi leaned against the doorframe. “I know it was out of the blue. Well, for you at least.”
“I’m okay. I’m okay with it. I’m okay with this.” You nod, finally looking at Levi. His eyes are already on you when your gazes meet. Your heart starts to beat a bit faster. 
In the back of your mind you still wonder if this is just to fuel Levi’s ego. You don’t know this man. You don’t know his motives.
Levi silently walks to you, analyzing your face. You watch his grey eyes linger on your skin, as if he’s exploring new territory. His hand reaches to your hair and pushes it behind your ear softly, sending chills down your spine.
You peer through your lashes, getting lost in Levi’s eyes. You could stare at him for hours without getting bored.
This no affection thing might be your downfall.
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penaltyykill · 19 hours
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what if i never scratched another itch for the rest of my life? (part six) | john marino
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🔗 read all parts here
🎧 fic playlist
📓 3.2k words
📝 authors note: this was a wild one :) i love this story sm, writing it is so therapeutic for me after a long day, and everyone’s kind feedback has been so rewarding 🫶 also sry to my man holtzy getting caught in the crossfire on this one 🤭
⚠️ warnings: MDNI. 18+. smut, duh.
you waited a few minutes after john left your apartment to finally leave for work. you drove in silence to your office, so conveniently located above the devils practice rink. you sat at your desk and quietly answered a few emails there, before grabbing your laptop and heading downstairs.
you often sat in the cold metal stands of the practice rink with your computer or note pad, whether the boys were there or not. you liked the atmosphere and the creative inspiration it brought, the cold chill of the ice and the unmistakable smell that only ice rinks had.
but today, the team was indeed practicing, and by the time you walked in the majority of the athletes were already on the ice, running drills.
you spotted john out there, listening intently to his coach, looking stoic as he leaned on his stick against the boards. he looked so lost in thought, you wondered what he was thinking about, if he was even listening. he must have felt your stare because he turned his head and saw you, and smiled. you nodded back at him, your own little secret communication.
you felt a pang of hunger hit your stomach, all that coffee and no food was having an effect, and decided to go upstairs and grab some cereal from the communal office kitchen. as you lazily stepped off of the metal bleacher, the low heel of your boot got stuck between the two metal slats that made up the row of seats below you. you saw the floor coming at you quickly before the glimmer of a red jersey engulfed your entire vision. you grabbed onto someone’s arms to balance yourself and stop from falling.
you looked up at the taller figure, his light brown wavy hair more than peeking out of the sides of his white helmet.
“i got you,” alex holtz said grinning down at you.
he was still holding on to your arms firmly as you quickly dropped your own grasp on his own. his touch lingered a moment longer than necessary.
“thank you, but you can let go of me now, holtzy,” you said through a forced smile, embarrassed that he had caught you, and everyone on the ice seemed to have noticed.
he freed you from his hold and you immediately looked up to find john’s eyes on the rink. you saw him shooting daggers at alex, his gaze unbreaking from him as the younger man skated onto the ice. nate tapped john on his backside with his stick and laughed. you swear you saw john mouth, “shut up nate,” maybe with more expletives.
you walked out of the practice facility and up the stairs to your office, a mix of embarrassment, and something else stewing inside you. did nate know? does john talk about you? was it all so obvious?
***
come downstairs please
the text message from john read, a little after practice had ended.
i’m working, j
you sent back, and it was the truth. you had things to do to, social posts that needed to go up before that night’s game.
say you’re going on your lunch break
you looked at the clock, it was almost 12, so it was plausible. you were frustrated, more so with yourself, for being so under his spell, just when you thought you were finally taking some control.
coming.
you wrote back, throwing on your leather jacket and grabbing your laptop just in case you were gone longer than expected.
you saw him standing in the lobby of the practice rink as you came down the stairs. freshly showered, wearing sweatpants and a hoodie with his number on it, similar to the one you hadn’t returned to him just yet.
he looked around to make sure no one noticed the two of you, and said, “let’s go.”
he grabbed your forearm gently and led you out the doors, before you could protest. you followed him, of course you did, with no questions asked.
when you were finally in the parking lot, you asked him what was going on.
“bringing you home for a little bit,” he said nonchalantly to you.
“back to my apartment? why?” you asked him, confused.
“no, pretty girl, to mine,” he spoke, dangerously close to your ear before walking ahead and unlocking his black bmw that you were seeing for the first time.
it wasn’t flashy, but it certainly wasn’t modest. he opened the passenger side door for you and you sat down on the cold black leather interior. it smelled like him here, the scent enveloping you your senses as you closed your eyes briefly to breathe it in.
he got in and his hands gripped the wheel as he began to back out of his parking space. you couldn’t help but stare from the corner of your eye how his fingers look curled tightly around the steering wheel, how his sleeve was ever so slightly pushed up, and you could see a long vein trail out from it onto his wrist.
he didn’t notice, his eyes were on the road, but once he hit the familiar long stretch of highway, he reached his hand over and placed it gingerly on your thigh, lightly squeezing.
“everything okay?” you asked him. you genuinely weren’t sure where this afternoon was heading. his hand traveled up and down your thigh, tracing patterns on your tight black jeans, leaving you not being able to think about anything at all.
“more than okay,” he said, eyes still on the road.
he pulled into his upscale apartment’s garage, which was not too incredibly far from your own, you thought. you had probably driven past it dozens of times, not giving it a second thought.
you exited the car first and followed him into the marble coated lobby, where there was a doorman who greeted him with a smile and head nod. you suddenly felt a surge of insecurity. how many other girls had he led back to his place, how many had his doorman seen with him? did he think you were just another? you had no idea where these feelings were coming from, all of a sudden, you just wanted to be his, and his only.
maybe he sensed your tentative energy, because he pulled you close to him in the empty elevator up to his apartment, which was surely on one of the highest floors of this building.
he held you tightly from behind as he pressed kisses down your neck. you squirmed with pleasure under his touch, begging for the already fast elevator to move a little faster…
john led you across the doorstep of his apartment, you barely had a second to admire the lush surroundings before you were pinned against his entryway wall. john’s hands were firmly placed on both your forearms as he positioned your body between both of his legs and pushed you as close to the wall as you could go.
“baby,” he softly spoke in your ear, “what were you talking to holtz about before?”
you almost had whiplash from how you were taken aback not once but twice within the span of five seconds. the first being when he addressed you again as baby, it sent a surge of heat down your body as you wiggled beneath his grasp. the second, being confusion, why were we talking about his teammate right now. you noticed the familiar way john held your forearms was the same as how alex had caught you when you fell. you figured out his sick little game quite quickly after that realization.
“are you jealous, john marino?” you said back at him confidently.
he tightened his grip on your forearm, if it was just a tiny bit harder it would have hurt you.
“pretty baby, don’t be a brat, please tell me what you said to him.”
he had a knack for toeing the line between degradation and sweetness. the tension now between the two of you was something stronger than electricity. you chose your words carefully before speaking them.
“i was telling him to get his hands off of me,” you said through your long eyelashes up at him. he loosened his grip, only just.
“only i can touch you like this,” his voice was dark, raspy, almost a whisper, “okay?”
“is that right?” you quipped back, secretly relishing at the way he reacted when you said the opposite of what he wanted to hear.
your plan worked in your favor as he attached his mouth to your neck and sucked harshly, bruising your soft skin, leaving it purple when his lips left it.
you moaned directly in his ear and felt the bulge in his sweatpants straining against the cotton fabric. he briefly removed his hands from you as he slid off your jacket and dropped it to the floor unceremoniously.
“i need you to tell me something,” john said as he pulled your shirt up over your head and began harshly marking spots on your chest only he would be able to see, “why am i the only one who can touch you like this?”
the overstimulation you were feeling now was making your brain go fuzzy, you could hardly stand on your own. you calculated answers over and over in your head but it was all too much, the pressure of saying the right words left you speechless.
“mmm, johnny, tell me,” you pleaded, “tell me why, please.”
“because, baby,” and now he moved his mouth so it was just inches from your own, your gaze level with his as he angled his head down to meet your eyes, “you’re my girl.”
you swore your heart stopped beating as his mouth met yours and he ran his tongue along your bottom lip. you allowed it inside and you explored his now familiar lips, the delicious taste of him on your tongue.
he placed his hands behind your thighs and lifted you up. you wrapped your legs around his center as he carried you deeper into his large apartment. the floor to ceiling windows flooded the open space with afternoon sun as he placed you down atop his white marble kitchen countertop. you tugged on his curls as he continued to smash his lips into your own, his hands roaming all over your body, as if it was the last time he would ever touch you. you grabbed the hem of his sweatshirt and pulled it over his head along with the t shirt he wore underneath, needing him closer, longing to feel his hot skin on your own.
his fingers toyed with your pants button as he picked you up by the waist and stood you back onto the floor, against the counter top in front of him.
he unzipped your pants and pushed them down your legs, and you stepped out of them.
“turn around,” he commanded, and this time you were oh so eager to hang on his every word, you didn’t disobey him.
he ran his long, thick fingers between your legs and felt your still clothed core dripping with want for him.
“my girl is so soaked for me, aren’t i so lucky?” he cooed into your hair.
your now marked up chest was covered only by your black bra, so out of place now that your tits were barely contained in it, spilling out of the lace almost completely. you were pressed against the cold countertop as you felt his hand move your panties to the side to dip into your soaking folds. you couldn’t help but let out soft noises as he made his way to your aching clit, thumbing the bud until you bucked your hips hard back into his groin.
john’s touch briefly left you as he slid his own pants and tight boxers down his legs. his hands returned to sit on your hips as you felt his hard length pushed up against your ass. it had been too long since you’d last had him inside of you, you felt your pussy contracting at the proximity of his cock, so close to filling your hole so deeply.
he let out a deep breath and slid into you harshly with no warning, eliciting a loud moan from you. he quickly picked up speed as he held your hips in what felt like a vice grip, while he thrusted so hard in and out of your pussy.
“feel so— fuck, so fucking tight,” john was breathless as he drilled your needy hole so hard with his cock, “all for me.”
“i need it harder, baby,” you begged him and he pushed into you now with such force you could feel tears welling up in your eyes, from the pure painful pleasure his cock was bringing you.
you practically screamed his name, followed by more loud pretty sounds that escaped your lips.
“good girl,” he praised you, “let my neighbors know how good i’m fucking you.”
john continued at an alarmingly fast pace, you weren’t sure how much longer your legs could stand, they had begun to shake as you felt yourself begin to come undone in his grasp.
he started to kiss down your neck, his wet mouth now so, so, sloppy as he continued to rail into you. he hovered over your ear and brushed your hair behind it.
“who’s the only one who can fuck you like this?” he growled into your ear.
“you, johnny,” you said between the deafening sounds of the skin to skin contact, “only you.”
“that’s my girl,” he whispered as he picked up his pace one final time, his hands now firmly on your hips as he fucked into you hard. the physical sensation mixed with the emotional weight of his words was too much all at once, your legs felt like they were collapsing under you as you came hard on his cock, coating it in your glistening juices.
john made devastatingly beautiful sounds as he watched his cock slide in and out of you, now so coated with your slick desire.
“fuck, baby, i’m gonna cum for you,” john could hardly get the final words out before you felt his hot sticky release fill up your insides as he pumped one final time in and out of you.
you both stayed there for a moment, him still inside of you, cock throbbing with the euphoric release of his orgasm. he pulled out of you slowly and grabbed a towel out of a nearby kitchen drawer and cleaned you up, then himself before putting back on his underwear.
he spun you around to face him and placed a tender kiss to your lips.
“i meant what i said before,” he spoke so softly, now placing his arms around your waist and pulling you closer.
you studied the way his forehead gently creased when he looked down at your smaller frame. he was so handsome now, not only in his physicality, but with the gentle way he held you, how he made you feel. so safe, so wanted.
“i know you did, johnny, i know,” you told him as he ran his hands through your now tangled hair.
“my pretty girl, so perfect for me,” he didn’t break eye contact with you as he spoke, and you felt yourself melt into him further, like an ice cream cone left outside on a hot august afternoon.
he held you like that for a number of minutes you didn’t dare count, so soft and warm in his arms you didn’t want him to ever let go, before he finally broke the peaceful silence between the two of you.
“lay down with me before the game?” he asked you, his eyes so big now, not so subtly begging you not to leave him.
“i have work to do, john,” you softly answered before offering a solution, “but, i left my laptop in your car, if you go grab it for me i can stay and work here while you rest.”
john took you up on it, quickly throwing his pants and sweatshirt on over his bare chest as he grabbed his car keys and told you he’d be right back.
you grabbed john’s abandoned shirt and threw it on. you heard his heavy apartment door close. you finally had a moment to take in his space, as you walked his living room clad in just your panties and his t shirt. it was quite obvious a man lived here alone, it wasn’t messy, just a bit incoherent. you couldn’t blame john, you were sure he didn’t have time to play interior designer when he was on the road for half of the year.
you walked the dark hardwood floors to his bookshelf, filled with books of all types, you were impressed. next to the rows of novels and non-fictions were a few framed photos. him smiling with his family, some childhood photos of him and his brother, his harvard accolades.
you felt a little closer to him then, standing in his vast living room among his things, taking it all in, when suddenly john reappeared in his own doorway, your laptop in hand.
“got it,” he held it in the air with one hand, and passed you to travel down another long hallway. you followed him into his dark bedroom.
the blackout shades were drawn closed, and his unmade bed sat in the middle of the room atop a dark colored rug. there were a few articles of clothing strewn across the floor, but other than that it felt homey, lived in, it felt like john.
he removed his sweatshirt and crawled into his bed under the covers, placing your laptop next to him and motioning to you to join him.
you settled in next to him, and got under his blanket, immediately feeling the heat of his body next to yours and feeling so warm and cozy next to him. it would take everything in you not to fall asleep like this.
you sadly opened your laptop and placed it on your lap, as john placed his head on your shoulder to watch what you were doing. it was nothing that exciting.
“you’re so talented,” he said sleepily.
“oh, shut up,” you playfully nudged him with your leg under the blanket.
he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck and you felt his breathing get considerably slower and his heartbeat settle at a relaxed pace, as he drifted into his nap.
you got your work done quickly, wanting to savor the moment the two of you were sharing.
you closed your laptop and placed it as far away you could from yourself on john’s giant king size bed.
he lay still nestled up close to you, his bare chest now freckled with a few drops of sweat. you traced down his neck, his collarbone, his tattooed ribs. that had to have been painful, you thought you’d ask him about it when he woke up.
there were a lot of things you wanted to ask him, things you wanted to know more about him, but you remembered there was more than enough time for that later.
he groaned in his sleep and shifted in bed, moving his body to cradle yours now, and you turned away from him and tucked your body into his.
you thought he was sleeping, his rough voice startling you when he spoke, “my pretty girl.”
and maybe, you thought as you fully came to the realization that you were his and his alone, this is was heaven felt like.
🕊️
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daydreamtoropova · 1 day
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No more KOSA (Kids Online Safety Act)
I am a minor, and I'm speaking from experience.
Without the internet as it is, I would:
Have committed suicide
Be friendless
Not be able to start my career early
Not be able to share my artwork and writing
Get help
First, LGBTQIA+ concern:
I am part of the LGBTQIA+ community as a young minor. I identify as a genderless AroAce (which is uncommon, but part of the community). Without being able to explain who I was, I would have felt alone, an outcast among girls (as my original gender), and felt like something was wrong with me. And I would not have been able to explain my romantic and sexual attraction. I would have been pretty much forced into a relationship when I will be older, but identifying as AroAce helps me avoid those questions. I could have had the inconvenience of a boyfriend (because what would be gay? I would be forced into a straight relationship). I learned about sex and how to stay safe with it ON THE INTERNET. Along with orientations and genders. There are so many teen pregnancies that fuck up people's possible future careers, all because they didn't know how to practice safe sex or even the possibility of not being attracted to people in the first place!
Second, mental health:
I have Autistic friends, most of them are from the internet. I only know the symptoms and problems with Autism. Without the internet, I could have felt like an outcast between my peers without explanation. Knowing about Autism (and other disabilities and disorders) and its symptoms is a valuable tool, it could help you interact with people with those who have it, or find out if YOU might have it.
I would've committed suicide. I have many friends on the internet. And without them. I would be friendless. Without support. I would've felt lonely. My irl friends rarely text me, so one summer break I almost committed suicide. But at the time I almost committed it, I texted my online friend who lives on the other side of the Earth. And she was there for me when no one else was, when I was sad, and about to kill myself. Without the internet, I would have never met her. And without her, I would have literally died. I now have many wonderful friends on the internet, and they all help me be who I am, and stay here with you, so that I can now speak.
Third, my career:
The reason I have Tumblr, is so that I can show myself. I can post about art, interests, projects, and so on. I can reblog other peoples' art and learn from them. Without Tumblr (and other social media), I would have never been able to put myself out there. Right now I have 35 followers on my main blog, and some other followers on my smaller blogs. I can build a following, so finally when I get a job, I can say "Hey! Look at me: People know me, they like my art, they support me." And support helps. I can start a YouTuber channel and show myself and also get money from it. I can jumpstart my career here.
Thank you. Any questions or clarifications would be appreciated. I am now done speaking from my experience so far, use this however you'd like.
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alkalische · 16 hours
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so for the past 4 months i've been brainrotting about theresis on twitter priv because nobody fucking gets him as a character actually.
anyone who says that he isn't very interesting is WRONG. he's actually very fascinating but in a way that's low key and easy to write off
to start off, something that's very important to theresis's characterisation is the fact that he's implied to be apparently very adherent to sarkaz tradition. to 'not fuck around with the dead'- this can be seen in manfred's conversation with the cluster.
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it's explicitly expressed here:
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except from Ch 11:
"Just one Sarkaz, no army, no servants. He rose from his throne, laid down the authority that he had never truly cared for, and walked here."
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i LOVE the description of him here- when he appears in the story for the first time, NOBODY realises until it's too late.
His ONE goal was to PERSONALLY kill amiya and just eliminate the threat- no fanfare, no monologung, straight down to business.
He's not even particularly sneaky it's just that he's just such a regular ass dude that people just don't realise he's there
"laid down the authority he never truly cared for."
In the lore book, it's actually stated that theresis never bothered to declare himself king after the death of theresa, and made no effort in searching for the new sarkaz king.
for power isn't what he was after. his goal wasn't to be king, it was for a way to execute his plans, because the one thing he ACTUALLY cares about is the future of the sarkaz.
also:
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i love how the text explicitly says that even his sword is rather unremarkable. he got to this point with his sheer tactical acumen and his pure skill with his sword
something that's really interesting is actually how he's described as a 'sword wielding guard', and theresa a 'royal dressmaker', before theresa was king- and he's even DRESSED like a guard.
He's very specifically still dressed like a sarkaz General, (uniform + red cape, shares this with Manfred) and an utterly unremarkable one.
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the lore book also describes Theresis also being eligible to be chosen for the crown, but he willingly gave it up to continue his role as theresa's sword- and it describes him 'severing the horns of the sarkaz that refused to follow the orders of a dressmaker.'
i think that to him, he did care about theresa, but she was his king first and his sister second. what she meant to him wasn't just 'family', it was what she represented, her role.
Which was why despite his adherence to Sarkaz tradition, he was reluctantly willing to to let the confessarius bring her back, if it serves to advance his goals.
The biggest point is that he literally doenst give a FUCK about anything that isn't important to the future of the sarkaz. He's the scale of 'for the greater good' cranked up to the max.
His plan is deeply fucked up, but the core premise of it is that it must be done- and the craziest part of his plan, compared to theresa's, is that it might actually work to remove the shackles of the sarkaz from their oppressors.
genuinely so sick and tired of people reducing him down to 'villan who is hot' or 'generic fantasy bad guy' THATS THE MOST BORING INTERPRETATION you could POSSIBLY have for him.
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mischiefmoons · 7 hours
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omggg hope you had a great birthday!! do u mind writing a remus x reader who realize there’s smth more than friends between them, thank youuu
🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥
a/n: gn!reader truly idk how this escaped me. me writing for my long lost husband in the year of our lord 2024?? this was so fun it felt like reuniting with an ex anyways fluff incoming
wc: don't... look at me... 1.3k
“So?”
“So what, Prongs?” Remus huffs, flipping through a textbook. Merlin knows why he even tries to study in the common room with the boys when all they do is badger him about nonsense.
“So are you and your little friend, well…more than friends? You two are attached at the hip, so where’d the little one run off to?” James teases, whacking his best mate with a throw pillow, “Get tired of you moaning and groaning about prefect duties?”
Well, that’s…you’re definitely not nonsense.
Remus blinks, brushing his hair away from his face and glaring at James before elbowing him straight in the gut. Tosser he is, acting like he knows anything about you or relationships in general when he’s been pining after Lily for years now.
You two are just friends.
Sirius lets out a loud laugh from his place at Remus’ feet. He’s leaning against the arm of the sofa, looking up at the sandy-haired boy with a cock-eyed grin, “If they were more than friends, Moony’s moaning and groaning would be appreciated and reciprocated, don’t you think?”
Peter snickers from the loveseat across the table. It doesn’t help with Remus’ mood, so he buries his head deeper into the boring History of Magic text, grumbling, “Don’t be crass. Just friends, is all. Don’t look too hard into it or you’ll melt what’s left of your brains.”
The three instigators look at each other, before looking back at their best friend. Just friends, he says. Sure, Remus’s the nicest guy around—a prefect even; the one that people count on to be the most morally sound out of all of them, the guy that people borrow notes from, politely laughs at jokes and makes people feel included in conversations. Sure, friends—they can believe that! Everyone wants to be Moony’s friend. But it’s the way they’ve seen him treat you that stands out.
Remus usually lags behind them now, breaking apart their formation in the halls (and yes, Sirius likes to be at the front of the diamond), pushing Peter up so he can wait for you after class. Also, anyone that could distract him from taking notes in Arithmancy is surely a force to be reckoned with (and a threat to Peter’s grades). He’s even gone as far as sidling up next to you during Potions and breaking their age-old rotation of picking partners since their first year (which left James with a botched Aging Potion, and Lily laughing at him as he limped out of class with graying hair and a hunchback).
So things were different nowadays, but one thing is for sure: Remus Lupin’s favorite game is being in denial.
“Maybe your friend knows about your furry little problem, Moons. Surely you really don’t think you’re gonna get any studying done with us?” James chuckles, before pushing his glasses up to clearly see the blush blossoming on Remus’s cheeks. Though it might also be anger, he couldn’t really tell—they’ve never seen him like this, ever; so blatantly obvious with how he feels about you even though he’d never admit it. It was quite refreshing to remember that Remus is still a normal teenage boy.
“You’re right, Prongs,” he huffs.
“I am?”
“I don’t know why I even bothered to try and study with you lot if all of you are too focused on me instead of studying!” Remus is shoving his books into his knapsack as the boys continue to rib at him to get him to stay. This essay isn’t going to write itself.
“Just playing, Moons!”
“Yeah mate, if you need an actual study date we know that’s not us, just hang around!”
Remus sighs as he’s looking at his friends' shit-eating grins as they go around him showing each other the map and pointing at something.
“What now?”
There’s a knock at the portrait, and the Fat Lady’s shrill voice could be heard from where they were sitting. Peter jumps up, sticking his face over the enchanted parchment as he giggles a bit like a schoolgirl, “It’s for you. Your friend’s outside.” They all cheer and laugh at Remus shaking his head, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder walking quickly away from them.
When he sees you chatting with the Fat Lady, it’s almost as if he’s in a stupor, studying every inch of your face until your eyes finally meet his and you grin and wave at him.
Just friends, he reminds himself.
“Hey Rem! Was gonna ask if you wanted to go to the library together?”
Your voice is a treat in itself, he thinks—the lilt and manner of it so sweet and rich it almost reminds him of his favorite chocolate.
Good thing he has a sweet tooth.
Walking down the hallway together your hand bumps into his several times in passing, fingers ghosting against each other as if they were dancing, too close and then too far. Friends can hold hands right? Remus’s heart flutters as he thinks of the possibility like solving an Arithmancy problem. He supposes the boys and him don’t necessarily hold hands, but he imagines holding yours would be way nicer.
Is he sweating?
His palms are sweaty, forget it, and you’re just friends! You’re telling him about your day like you both haven’t seen each other in years, but he even sat by you at lunch earlier, much to the rest of the Marauders’ surprise. Though Remus supposes you could even make Divination sound interesting—maybe even make him look in the stupid tea leaves to see if you’re in his future, furry little problem and all. He realizes he’s been staring a second too long, bumping into you lightly as you stop in front of the library.
“Haha, you okay? You’re quiet today, Rem. Something on your mind?”
A lot about you, apparently, thanks to his meddling friends.
Remus scratches the nape of his neck as he grimaces, cheeks reddening again and instead of a response, he opens the door for you and puts his finger to his mouth as if to say “Shhhh….” before Madam Pince starts a fit at either of you. That, or him actually having to say how he feels.
How he feels… Well…shit.
You make a beeline for an open table near the corner, tugging at his wrist like it’s not making his heart beat out of his chest and Remus tries to compose himself, but then you look at him with your pretty fluttering eyelashes and he knows he’s utterly fucked. Pulling out your chair for you, you squeeze his arm in thanks and scooch your chair closer to his.
“Rem?”
“Hmm?” he responds, a strangled noise crawling up his throat as he coughs slightly, his arm landing on the back of your chair before he panics then realizes he’d look like an arse for pulling away.
Not that he wants to.
“How did you know?”
His heart genuinely stops. There’s no way you’ve caught on that quickly—especially not with him just realizing how he feels about you, his friend that he wants to be more and there is nothing casual about what he wants to d—
“How’d you know I was at the common room? You walked out just as I was about to walk in, I thought it was kinda funny,” you giggle, brushing your hair behind your ear and he takes a deep breath.
You’re just friends. But he definitely wants to be more.
“The boys told me it was you,” Remus says, chewing on his lip, “Apparently they had a feeling.”
And now, so does he.
What’s worse is that Remus hates admitting when they’re right (which is rare enough in itself, he’ll never hear the end of it from their inflated egos).
What’s worst of all is that for the first time in his Hogwarts career, Remus Lupin ends up submitting an essay late.
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melanieph321 · 2 days
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heyy i love your writing and just wanted to say i appreciate your work💖
my request is something like you are best friends with fermin (or gavi) and he’s madly in love with you but you don’t know about it so when you start seeing someone (possibly another footballer) he gets jealous and does something outrageous like posts a story with a photo of yours which is odd considering he’s never done it before and the person you’re seeing gets mad and you also get mad because it’s obvious he’s doing it for another reason and have an argument with him when he confesses his true feelings in a moment of weakness which causes you to take a step back but you soon realize you’re actually more into him than you knew and go to him late at night and make out
i don’t know if this is something you’d be interested in but i’d love to read it
SEVEN DAYS OF REQUEST (DAY 2)
Ugh, I hate you for making such a good request. Took me all day to finish this. And I had to make it a four part series since I put my own spin on it. Hope that's okay.
Fermin Lopez x Reader - You or Me Part 1/4
Part 2 part 3 part 4
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Enjoy!
It was just a silly youth camp for all the Barca Academy's boys and girls. How it turned out so ugly, you had no idea.
It was a Friday morning when all of the players were put on a bus to a Boot Camp four hours outside of Barcelona. You were thankful that the academy boys did not share the same bus as the girls, but trailed in their own vehicle not too far behind. However it was bound to get messy at the camp grounds since the girls and boys were sharing the same hotel.
"Who are you texting?" Camilla asked.
"No one." You muttered, but nudged your phone out of her view.
"Come on, don't be shy, tell me who you're texting."
You perked up, peering over your seat to make sure that none of the other players could hear you. "Okay but promise not to tell anyone." 
"I promise." She grinned, giddy with excitement.
"Alejandro Garnacho."
"What! You little…"
"Shhhhh!" You exclaimed, slapping your hand against Camilla's mouth. However, 
that did not stop her from running her mouth behind the palm of your hand.  
"Huh?" You frowned, her mumbles inaudible. You removed your hand.
"I said, doesn't he have a girlfriend now?"
"And a baby." You nodded.
Camila gasped. "You slut!" 
"Relax." You said, leaning back in your seat. "We're just friends and you know that. We've been friends forever."
"Yes, but before that you had the biggest crush on him, no?"
"Yes, but that's in the past. He's happy in England with his new family. I told you about last summer, didn't I? Garnacho and his girlfriend let me stay with them while I was over there trying out for Manchester United's U21 youth team. Garnacho and I have become really close since then. Close friends." You added, before Camilla could call you a slut again. 
The two of you sat back in silence. The road ahead was bumpy and almost made you car sick. Good thing you and Camilla were seated up front where you could see the road. You dreaded sitting in the back, since some of the girls thought it would be funny to make faces at the boys bus trailing behind you. They were having a laugh, however you found it very annoying.
"Did you hear that Fermin and Gavi are joining us on Saturday?" Camilla said.
"Hurray….." You mumbled and kept scrolling through your phone.
"I know." She snorted. "They've gotten pretty stuck up since they started playing for the first team, but I've heard that they're holding a seminar on mental health. It could be fun?"
"Mental health?" You put down your phone to glance at Camilla. Her lips twitched into a smile seeing your not-so-convinced expression. "I know Fermin Lopez of all people is not holding a seminar on mental health." you laughed. "That boy has caused me nothing but severe anxiety and depression and now he wants to talk about mental health? I guess pigs do fly."
"I dunno." Camilla shrugged. "Don't you think he has matured since he started playing for the first team? I know Gavi has."
"Please, don't get me started on Pablo Gavi." You sighed. "Fermin and Gavi were the worst of the worst when they were playing for the academy. Don't you remember Boot Camp 2019?"
Camilla chuckled. "Whatever you say. I for one am excited."
And she had the right to be. No one enjoyed drama more than Camilla. This year's Boot Camp had nothing but drama.
Part 2
Part 3
part 4
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tricoufamily · 4 months
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update tinder guy superliked me, asked me on a date, spent the entire thing belittling and making fun of me and seeming vaguely angry at me. then asked me for a second date
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rabble-dabble · 6 months
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and by the way i fucking deserved better. you came back with your hand held out and asked me to love you again like i was a fool, like you knew i wanted you to do but you forgot friendship is a two way street and i loved you deeper than you loved yourself. i heard myself in your words and i knew the answer before you asked the question because i spent a year grieving and a year growing and another two years healing and three more years forgetting and you sent me a message asking me to forgive you as if i already hadn't done so. you asked to try again and i almost became the fool that did it because once upon a time we were best friends then we weren't and i cried at night wishing you'd come crawling back to say those words to me again. and i thought of all the ways i could tear you apart with my teeth before carefully mending you back together with my sparkly glue and my shaky sowing needle.
but in reality i knew if i let you in again that i could forgive you but i'd never be able to forgive myself. i'd be looking into the past and spitting into the face of the kid who gave up everything he felt about you to become me and i needed to let you go like the sand between my cupped hands. the ocean cleans away the grit and leaves seashells in them. its a reminder that there are still things to find and cherish. i deserve to love the world and you will not be a part of it. i am not sorry for that.
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secondhandskootur · 2 months
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I'm still haunted by this one time a few months back when I was at an event working on a drawing of Quint, and my cousin was also there, chatting with me. At one point he told me that, "Jschlatt is pretty much the modern version of Quint," and, honestly, I don't think I've ever felt so strong of an urge to punt a bearded, fully grown, towering 6'3 man who is stronger than me, and who I generally love dearly, into the fucking sky as much as I did that day.
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thatswhatsushesaid · 1 year
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shitpost dispatches from guanyin temple & the sangyao dungeons - [10/?]
with the important caveat that no, jgy was absolutely not attempting to kill or harm nhs prior to this moment, but I would bet cash money on him exacting some pretty bloody retribution upon his beloved a-sang if he'd survived the events of guanyin temple (and also I think he would win)
#mdzs#mdzs shitposting#sangyao#not my favourite flavour of sangyao tbh#i prefer to read/write them without the revenge vision quest hovering as the dramatic irony elephant in the room#compels me tho#just to ramble abt this a bit more in my own tags#huaisang's one advantage throughout his entire revenge quest is that jin guangyao does not suspect him of anything#i have many additional thoughts here about how jgy's fatal flaw wrt nhs is overlooking and underestimating his capacity#for presenting one face to the world while keeping his real thoughts and feelings and ambitions hidden away#(and where do you think he learned that from a-yao? i'm gonna go out on a limb and say 'not er-ge or da-ge')#whereas nhs's fatal flaw (and it is not something that I perceive as fatal within the text#so much as supposition wrt his mental state post-canon)#is his inability to commit himself to any work he's not personally invested in#this is endearing and cute and a little exasperating when he's at lan summer camp#but wrt jgy it prevents him from looking past *what* jgy has done to nmj and asking himself *why*#I do think it is inevitable he will ask that question in his future just as lxc was desperately asking it at the end of the confrontation#the tragedy here is that nhs orchestrated the death of the only person who could ever give him that answer#and now he will never know#jin guangyao#nie huaisang#he did crimes??? good for him 😌#let him have birds!! 🕊#mdzs meta#in the tags anyway#moling queue
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