#{ maybe it's because I think too much of socializing is like a transaction }

[gambleofstars]

Electrician Reader as Vox’s Assistant (Pt. II)

₍ ⌨ ᶻᶻᶻ gambleofstars is typing ... ₎

↳ ❝ [a/n: i’m on a roll, expect a third part also haha, i kind of love this concept to be honest, not to mention i work an office job too so, pretty relatable to me. also minor content warning for smoking, but it's just casual, really] ¡! ❞

Part I

⋆♡* In fact, you liked hell, because people were much less judgmental.

⋆♡* In the overworld, your coworkers would judge you for every move. You were polite? You were a suck-up. You were cold? You were rude. You were professional? You were distant. So when you started calculating your every move? You were scheming.

⋆♡* But here? Your scheming qualities were greatly appreciated and utilized.

⋆♡* Your boss would let you stay in the conference room for business holder meetings. He doesn’t want you to know, but Vox definitely observed your reactions during these meetings. Every twitch of your brow and rolling of eyes you thought went unnoticed, were important.

⋆♡* And having a boss who sees your abilities is a sure way of making a loyal employee. Maybe this was also scheming on Vox’s part but hey, who judges who in hell?

⋆♡* If Vox’s honest, the 8am coffee and your faint groan of annoyance at his client was a bit of a highlight of his day, if you will.

⋆♡* He has to listen to either: boring meetings or other vees’ tantrums every day, so your small presence is welcome as a solidarity of someone seeing what he has to deal with.

⋆♡* (Even though his own hissy fits are no less ridiculous and much more dangerous)

⋆♡* You do get bonuses for putting up with them though. Don’t be mistaken, this is a business transaction, after all.

⋆♡* Sometimes though, you wonder who he was on earth? Or if you crossed paths in any way. You get this sentimental feeling at times that you can never explain…

★゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★

“FUCK!” Vox exclaims as he slumps down on his desk (?) chair after raging about the PR management team messing up their work. Yet again. At this point, his bowtie is all messed up and his button-up is half wrinkled.

He’s still seething, but you can see the anger is slowly sizzling out. Good, you were really not in the mood for playing therapist this evening. You already had a long day of sorting out the PR nightmare that is Valentino’s social media (which was partially the reason for Vox’s current exhaustion).

Usually, you’d listen to Vox yap about 99 problems in his vicinity. Let him let it out and then distract him with an upcoming business opportunity - kinda dealing it like you would with a teenager.

For some reason though, this evening the soft breeze coming through the open windows of the office and purple dust color of the hell’s sky, you felt an olive branch form in your heart.

“Would you like a cigarette?”

It always worked for you. After the stress of sorting out numerous affairs for the Vees (primarily your boss), a cigarette felt like a piece of heaven, really. So, why not? Bonding time with your boss or whatever.

He eyes your outstretched hand that’s holding a pack of Malborry Red (delivered straight from the gluttony ring); he seems almost suspicious, which makes you laugh.

“Don’t worry boss, drugs is Mr. V’s style. This is just tobacco”

“Fuck it”

He grabs the cigarette out of the pack and sighs like a single dad of 50 kids. Before you can laugh at this pathetic little man, you get out your lighter and light the cig up as courtesy, seeing as you’re the one who offered it.

There’s a tense moment when he just looks at you. You don’t know what he’s thinking at times and this is one of them. It bothers you a bit, like you can’t read an open book.

Either way, when he takes the first drag, he slowly goes to lean over the balcony railing with his elbows as you light your own stick. You don’t join him though.

Both of you stay silent in the comfort of an otherwise empty wing. The only noise is from the city down below and the quiet whirring of Vox’s fans to filter out the nicotine-filled smoke.

It’s kind of relaxing, in all honesty.

“Maybe I should just jump off here” he says out loud. The casual tone makes you scoff with amusement as you join him on the balcony as well. You stay close to the door though.

“Please think of the company’s integrity sir” you remind him, taking a drag of your own cigarette “Also, you can’t really die here. There are 75 electricians and technicians on standby at all times.”

Vox groans and puts the screen of his head down onto his forearm, his cigarette hanging off the 50 story building with just his two fingers as a safety measurement.

“Then maybe I’ll go out of commission for a week and ignore everything and everyone for once” he concludes with the same casuality.

“You need to be present at the shareholders meeting tomorrow afternoon or it won’t commence” you explain, honestly a bit delighted in deliberately pissing him off.

“You go do it then”

“No thank you”

Another sigh and a comfortable silence. You’d think Vox fell asleep if his fans weren’t still whirring. Even though feeling pity for the rich is a bit ridiculous, you find yourself approaching him and leaning with your back on the railing.

“Tell you what boss, I think you need to present the angelic security plan by tomorrow at 4:45” you suggest, eyeing his reaction.

He looks up at you a bit confused “Right after the meeting?”

You chuckle a bit mean-spirited “What are they gonna do? Leave?”

He picks up at what you’re putting down and a wicked smile crosses his face “So that means I won’t have any meetings until Friday”

You pick up an ashtray on the coffee table next to you and hold it out for him. But seeing as he doesn’t even notice how his cig is burning away as he plans his Thursday, you pluck it out of his hands to put it out for him.

It’s almost laughable how perplexed he looks, but you resist as you put your own stick out too and place the tray back down.

“Do you need me to plan anything for Thursday sir?”

“Do you think on earth we ever crossed paths?”

Well that was out of the blue “I don’t know sir, never thought about it” that’s a lie, you’ve thought about it every time you left the office with a feeling of deja vu.

“Whatever, who gives a shit” he said, aloof and walked back into his office “You’re more useful as my assistant down here anyway”

Maybe. Not like your life was any less stressful on earth, right? (please, do note the sarcasm).

Still, watching your boss blow up like a bomb every other morning was enough entertainment to make this job amusing.

Not to mention, on earth, this fleeting moment of fondness never crossed your heart. How ironic that you find the most vulnerable part of yourself in the flaming pits of hell filled with sinners alike you.

Maybe that’s why. The fact that you found someone who can keep up the pace with your deliberate chess-piece kind of thinking with no guilt, is a bit of a blessing in disguise.

How a string of your heart happily tugs at his victories.

You won’t let him know that though.

i'm really liking writing out my office work frustrations in these small drabbles ahaha >:) anyway, my request box is open if you wanna drop by :) <3

signing off, gambi 💋

#hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin husk #hazbin charlie #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin valentino #hazbin velvette #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #vox x reader #the vees

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Hello resident Eridan expert! 0u0 I was wondering if you thought he might get on well with Aradia? Thank you for your time!

Actually yes! In moderate doses. After Eridan's character development. The list I like to keep of his platonic friends, from most to least close to him, is like.

Nepeta -> Dirk -> Feferi -> Vriska -> Aradia -> Other

So I already talked about how he and Nepeta seem like they'd actually make for really good friends - the Heart player who can't help but see the good in him, and Eridan liking nice people and the fact that the two of them have a lot in common. I've also made mention before about how I think he and Dirk would have an extremely lethargic, almost transactional bro-ship where they sometimes beat each other to death. A completely neutral friendship, where they do not make each other better OR worse, they just help each other take the edge off the Prince Ennui. Using extreme violence.

He and Feferi are also not so different, and, honestly, they're childhood friends. She's pretty fond of him, and he's TOO fond of her, but after his character development and he fully gets over her, I think they'd be perfectly decent friends. He and Vriska have much the same deal, but I think their personalities mesh slightly worse than his and Feferi's.

If you're wondering why Kanaya isn't on this list, it's because she hates his dumb ass and always has. I think Eridan thinks he's really good friends with Kanaya. Kanaya has literally never respected Eridan even a little bit. Same with Rose. It's really funny.

So Aradia is kind of the last person out of the characters that I think I'd emphatically call "Eridan's Friend." Everyone covered in "other" tends to be people who are everybody's friend (like John) or basically tolerant of his behavior in small doses (like Dave).

With Aradia specifically, there's a few factors to consider; first of all, she has a pretty negative view of highbloods in general, calling them "hateful sn0bs" at one point. She's a lot more tolerant as the stewardess of the afterlife, because Alternia's gone and everyone else is dead, but I think it should still stand that she'd be sensitive to anti-casteist sentiment, since casteism colored so much of her life back when she was, y'know, alive.

But the reason I think they'd work as friends is because Aradia has a bluntness and straightforwardness about her that happens to mesh well with Eridan's suite of issues. He's actually fairly easy to manage if you're fully honest with him and set and maintain very clear boundaries, because he doesn't catch social cues, but also doesn't really see naked hostility, bluntness, or aggression as bad things.

And Aradia can be viciously sarcastic, but her natural tendency is to be very blunt and honest and call things the way she sees them. This means that if she's ever too annoyed by Eridan, she will let him know that as bluntly as humanly possible, and then happily fuck off, with Eridan generally no worse for the wear (although he may have a negative reaction in the moment. But Aradia's self-possessed enough to not really give a shit as long as she's not in the wrong).

The main issue between them is that I think Aradia would believe Eridan IS a nasty, casteist highblood, unless somehow given reason to interact with him for an extended period of time. Eridan didn't really talk to the lowbloods, and the two generally had no reason to interact, so she'd basically have no reason NOT to believe him when he starts spewing bullshit. Moreover, Eridan's the type of aggressive idiot that would outright admit that if they'd FLARPed together, there was every chance she'd wind up orphaned or dead (this is just a neutral fact to him), and then comment that maybe it wouldn't have mattered because she wound up dead anyway (again, just a neutral observation to him). Writing Eridan mostly consists of coming up with words that make you cringe.

Aradia is smart enough that I think any extensive conversation or time spent with him would make her realize how performative his casteist stuff is, and how little he actually cares about blood color. Since she generally never had reason to interact or care about him before (not even her friends are friends with him), this would pretty much shift her opinion from "idgaf about him, seems like a snob like the rest of the highbloods" to "oh... he's funny as hell. what's wrong with him".

Once she figures out that he genuinely doesn't mean any harm or offense by the awful dumb shit he says, I think she'd be willing to engage with him on mutual interests (they both FLARPed, so they're presumably both roleplayers, and they could probably bond over death - something Eridan is unfortunately obsessed with and Aradia doesn't have many discussion partners over). Emotionally, she'd probably keep him at arm's length - he has a lot of Issues and Problems, and she's not really interested in helping him handle them (she doesn't really bother with trying to cheer people up on the bubbles so much as just explaining what they can do now that they're dead, and letting them make their own decisions). Not that she isn't a nice person, but I do think it'd just be kind of difficult for her to have too much sympathy for a guy whose problems were largely caused by being too aristocratic.

But, like, she would also pretty happily call him "her friend," because she always cuts it short when it gets too real for her, minimizing her negative experiences with him. I think eventually, like training a dog, Eridan would figure out that Aradia is just Not The Friend For That, so it'd become less of a problem as time goes on.

She thinks he's ridiculous and funny, calls him up when she wants to infodump on someone and her usual buddies aren't around, and I think they'd play good DnD together with Nepeta and Vriska. Yeah I know Vriska killed her but she killed Vriska so they're even. The energy at the table is deeply weird but Eridan wouldn't notice and Aradia would get a kick out of it, leaing poor Nepeta to suffer it alone.

Anyway, I love that Eridan's assortment of platonic friendships is so haphazard. Nepeta AND Feferi, who hate each other. Vriska AND Aradia, who killed each other. And also Dirk is there. He's the DM.

#homestuck #eridan ampora #aradia megido

[captain-hen]

the ‘sunshine personified’ / ‘he makes everyone around him happy’ thing is sooo interesting because i don’t think we’ve really seen that from buck, have we? and by that i specifically mean in the fanon context of buck being the social PTA dad at all of chris’s school functions while eddie broods in the corner and only wants to talk to buck. if anything, we’ve seen the opposite behavior with eddie — he’s clearly good friends with chris’s friends’ parents, he was so happy and glowy when he first met the 118, he befriended may and linda so easily at dispatch, and i could go on and on.

he just seems to connect with people so easily, and i think a lot of that genuine friendliness is lost on people because he also has a tendency to get casually snarky with people he isn’t so fond of, whether it’s annoying temporary coworkers or selfish people on calls or opportunistic reporters. the same thing goes for his private nature vs. buck’s bleeding heart — it’s assumed that eddie isn’t a people person because he likes to keep his innermost feelings close to his chest and it’s also assumed that buck is good at instantly forming connections bc his feelings spill out of him at all times.

and like. it’s not that buck isn’t a kind and friendly person, but i do feel like his specialty is deep acts of love for the people he loves. idk if i’m articulating this right but i’m trying to point out that he’s never more ‘sunshine personified’ than when he’s with the 118 and co. he would do anything for them and he lights up around them in a way that he doesn’t really do with anyone else. and we haven’t seen him be so casually close to people outside that friend group.

when we got a glimpse of connor and buck’s friendship, it seemed more about what they could do for each other than about true connection. when we got that episode about buck and red, a lot of it was projection on buck’s part re. his fear of abandonment and his desire not to let his future turn out like red’s and it was also about his need to fix things for everyone else so he can feel like he’s needed. when he met lucy, he was desperate to fill a void and not feel as hollow as he felt going home to taylor kelly every night with his sister and his brother in law and his partner gone.

don’t get me wrong, i’m not trying to ascribe selfish motivations to buck bc i do believe he always tries to do the right thing, but when it comes to people outside of the 118, with the way it’s been written in canon, i feel like those dynamics have always been more about his own issues than they’ve been about actual friendship. and this isn’t even getting into how he acts when he feels like someone new is encroaching on his territory (see: eddie in 2x01 and lena). idk….i just think that kind of casual connection comes so much easier to eddie for whatever reason. maybe it’s because his abandonment issues are a whole other flavor, or because eddie’s upbringing was so different from buck’s. either way, it’s so interesting and ppl blinded by fanon are really missing out. i apologize for the long ass rambling and i don’t think i really articulated this well, so TL;DR — fanon sunshine buck and broody eddie do not exist in canon and i’m Very excited to see the way that mr. possessive, jealous, broody evan buckley acts when eddie meets someone new this week :)

no, you're so right about all of this, though! buck genuinely does light up and is at his most comfortable and golden retriever-like around the 118, because he sees them as family and trusts them so much—and i think people get carried away and attribute the same thing to everything else (like, for example, the social PTA dad thing). when in canon, buck on multiple occasions has not dealt with new people too well—whether it was eddie, or lena, or ravi...and now, as it looks like, tommy. and you kinda hit the nail on the head about how most of buck's relationships outside the 118 being very transactional in nature up to this point, it's sad, but it's true.

eddie is the complete opposite in this regard, though, like, the guy goes around collecting new friends like they're pokemon. lol. he is so wildly different to the fandom portrayal of him as this anti-social loner that i struggle with understanding how people even got there in the first place (i mean, i know why. but still).

anyway, buck's issues with jealousy and insecurity are sooo interesting to delve into as character flaws and so much more compelling than fandom's portrayal of him as a perfect angel baby who's never done anything wrong, but 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ at least i have canon giving me the stuff i want lol

#neethu answers #anon

[thequeenofsarcaasm]

Chapter seven of Love is in the hands

I think it’s my favourite one yet (unless you count chapter 5 maybe). I gave Gojo too much rizz.

Summary

After getting kicked out of his home for being queer, Suguru comes across Satoru, his childhood sweetheart, in a strange gay bar that is owned by his new “family”: a bunch of queer social rejects who were taken in by Yuki, an eccentric matriarch. He finds a new home (and his long lost love) there.

Glimpse

“Was I that good?” Suguru jokes. A wise man once said good sex was transformative. “I think you’d make a great chef. You’re annoying enough to make it work. Ever thought about being a model though? It could help you afford your new dream,” Suguru suggests.

“Nah. Working for other people sounds like hell. The bar is only fine because it’s a family business. Besides, I don’t do much: just dancing around, serving customers, human resources and accounting,” Satoru says. He unwraps a stray lollipop and puts it in his partner’s mouth before repeating the action with another one, for himself. “Would you be mad if I posted nude photos on the internet and got paid for it?” he jokes.

Suguru gazes at him lovingly. “I’d only be mad if you asked someone else to take the photos. If your fanbase ever wanted more, I’d gladly fuck you in front of a camera to make them happy,” he jokes back.

“Let's not let those skills go to waste. Right?,” Satoru laughs. “Did you ever send these types of pictures to anyone? I’m convinced you take great ones. Just like a girl,” he says with a teasing smile. 

“Not exactly,” Suguru answers. “That one guy I used to mess with had a whimper fetish or something so he asked me for nut videos. He was nice and gave great blow jobs so I didn’t mind,” he laughs. “Things didn’t end well between us so I deleted his number.”

“He fell in love with you?” Satoru asks. 

“And wouldn’t take no as an answer,” Suguru finishes. It’s a story he knows all too well.

“Did you break his nose?” Satoru teases. Suguru had almost forgotten about that incident. To think such a thing would kill the unbearable distance between their lonely, aching hearts. Will they ever abide by the classical rules of romance?

“I only do that to people who hurt you,” Suguru announces with his eyes locked to Satoru. The blue pupils instantly shrink. “Have you, though? As Ki’s muse you must know your way around posing,” he points out.

Satoru turns his face and rests his cheek on the back of his hand. “Once or twice but it was transactional,” he mumbles. “I’d send you one though, for free,” he adds with one eye on Suguru. 

“You’re way too generous, my love. Don’t do it when I’m in class though,” Suguru warns.

#i like this edit a lot #been sitting on this chapter for weeks #the urge to post chapter 8 tomorrow is strong #gojo satoru #geto suguru #kirara hoshi #itadori yuuji #yuki tsukumo #okkotsu yuuta #satosugu #gego #goge #satosugu fanfic #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen #jjk

[captainmera]

ok ,entonces tengo un OBVIAMENTE SHIP por Theo y Oliver , así que bombardeare con preguntas románticas !

Who would be more romantic? Who is the one who cares more about the other? Who would take care of who in a cold (why is that super romantic? I don't know), who would blush more at the other's comments? Who has more protective attitude? .....and I'll stop for now

Jag kan inte spanska! xD Ser du hur skumt det här är? Hahahaha!

And thank you for this ask! :'D <3

Both of them care for the other just as much. :) They just support one another where the other needs it. They don't have the same needs!

Oliver is the most blushy though. He's a rather shy person (sober, anyway. Drunk Oliver is very confident).

They are both protective. Theodore is just..... Well, he's a witch:

ibwr world building lore stuff:

Witches are, in the world of IBWR, a little unhinged. People fear them, they're seen as a "necessary evil" by the church and society in general. People seek them out for various reasons and aid. Often taboo things. In public opinion, witches must be a little... evil.. To be able to do certain things.

It leaves witches socially ostracised at the same time socially desired and renowned. It's fickle to navigate. They're basically the dark fairy god mother left uninvited to the party, but if they show up anyway nobody's gonna throw them out. Their association is a flex to pull, but also at the same time an association you want at arms length.

So real and genuine friendships are hard to come by for them.

This resulted in witches, generally, sticking to themselves and their families. The public opinion is that witches don't have have friends, and if they do those people will soon live to regret it. People think witches' friends are only for business or pleasure. If you're not business then you're pleasure, and if you served your purposes you're ditched without remorse. <- At least that's what people think. It's not baseless, but also not totally true.

Witches has built up, because of this, this mask of confidence that they lean into - that they're untrustworthy and mischievous, lustful and morally dubious. It's just a terrible circle, really. "IF YOU HATE ME, FINE, THEN I WILL BE ALL OF THAT WITH PRIDE!!! FEAR ME!!" like, okay, you just want friends don't you.

Because people seldom like them, at least genuinely, they become very loyal friends to those that do. Maybe a little scarily loyal. You like me? Like for real? Okay then I will help you get away with murder. Oh, that's too much? I mean, what do you mean you don't want anything?? I can give you everything. Name it and it's yours.

Witch culture revolves a lot around deals and contracts, so when they meet people (like Oliver) who asks for nothing in return they try to make up for it, it makes them a little nervous to receive something without having to return a favour. Which makes them a little too inclined to jump to their loved ones defence - out of both love and duty.

And, lucky for Theodore, Oliver is good at declining that behaviour. Which teaches Theodore he's actually loved. And that not everything is transactional. That also works great for Oliver, who has always felt like he owed the world something, so he ensures nobody feels they owe him. It leaves them both with an established genuinely: They love because it's simply that. Love. No keeping scores, no malicious or selfish intent.. Just... As close to unconditional as you can get.

Theodore still needs to work on jumping into HAHA LET ME END YOUR ENEMIES though. It's how witches show love. it's a bit toxic but that's part of his arc, he's learning who he is outside of his family and the way he was raised.

He's just as much an Ashdown witch as any of his family is. Generational trauma and family trait is not something you escape just because you can see it for what it is. Sometimes it takes a different voice in you. But it's there. You may think your family's sense of loyalty is toxic but yours isn't. We are all a little blind and needs help seeing ourselves sometimes.

Oliver isn't without his toxic traits too. He's really blind to his worth and chooses to be okay with bad things happening to him because he thinks he deserves it - He was raised to believe that he has to be quiet and put aside, that his needs are secondary and that if he wants to be loved he must allow others to use him.

His logic doesn't work, and Theodore - who's blunt and has an honest relationship with Oliver, can be frank and poke him about it "if that's true for you, then it must be true for me. If bad things happen to me, that must mean I deserve it too. Rules cannot apply to one person alone. It doesn't work like that. You can't say I deserve to be heard and loved unconditionally, and then not apply it to yourself. practice what you preach." And Oliver needs to be reminded of that sometimes. Theodore is a good reality check for Oliver.

Theodore lifts Oliver off the ground when his depression makes him lay face down in dirt. And Oliver holds Theodore back from acting on his impulsive negative emotions.

But they also encourage the other on their positive traits.

Oliver cheers Theodore on with his goals and dreams, gives him room to be authentic to the parts of himself he's repressed. He encourages him in areas where Theodore is sensitive or insecure. He validates him. And Theodore gives Oliver the space to feel safe and unjudged. He can be wholly himself and not feel like he's a burden for needing something. Oliver can speak freely and Theodore enjoys his thoughts on things, he requests his opinion and values his insights (which is good for Oliver's self-esteem).

They're both patient with one another, and put effort and time into trying to understand what the other is going through and needs.

They're friends as much as lovers.

The double taptap shoulder thing I used in my fanfic is.. it's actually.. from them. <XDDDD Oliver do that. I am regretting it a smidge that I used it for huntlow now XDDDD

OH WELL.

ANYWAY.

THAT WAS ME BLABBING ON ABOUT MY BOYS FOR TOO LONG.,

THANKS FOR READING IF YOU DID ASDFGHJKL

I wish I was further in my story so I can like.... SHOW ALL OF THIS ALREADY *SOBS* NOT JUST TALK ABOUT IT. *CRIES*

#ibwr #in blood we rise #ibwr world #ibwr lore #ibwr character blurb

[the-therapist-is-ace]

Hello! As promised to @rubberduckyrye, here are some of my notes I got about my social psychology class, about leadership! (And of course I thought of V3. Of course. So I'm sharing the ones that could be linked to it x)

(Please keep in mind that those datas were extracted from social experiments in real life, not a killing game tho xD)

There's four "main" types of leadership:

Authoritarian (like in the army)

Transactional (preferably one for a short period of time or objective; this one is quite literally, a transaction. You do this task, you get this reward. It's not a long-term option)

Transformative (This one is the most looked after in companies: it's one that focus on changing things for the better, helping employees too in the process, but also it's looking for long-terms solutions and practice. The one that can motivate others, and help employees with their problems)

And lastly the "let it be", a type of leadership that let the "employees" -keep in mind those experiments were done in companies' settings- do what they want and doing much about it.

First of all, it's good to know that the leadership authoritarian is less performant than the transactional, or the transformative. But it's still WAY BETTER than the "let it be"! To give a hierarchy:

"let it be" < authoritarian < transactional < transformative.

(Again, in a company's setting. But I think it would work best in a killing game too, since everyone have to collaborate for a long term objective, leaving, when there's one actual traitor in their group)

Kaede and Kokichi (because I am still talking about V3, of course!) both tried -Kaede... more or less- a transformative leadership. Which, good idea! The problem being that Kaede also took some major part of the "let it be" type as well. Asides from the Death Road of Despair, and when she asked Miu for help, she pretty much didn't let the others contribute.

Kokichi too; well he let Miu, Gonta and maybe a bit Shuichi contribute, but after the first trial there's not a lot of people willing to listen to him asides the first two I mentionned.

Angie in chapter 3, tried an authoritarian leadership. Which... works, until the authority figure isn't respected (or feared) and people start doing whatever they want again. (And the problem with her, is that she only was respected by half of the class to begin with. It was bond to fail)

And all three of them struggle with the notion to let others than their allies do the work for the group (which, in a killing game is understandable. There's a mastermind lurking around) but it doesn't help the overall cohesion, conflicts in the group happens because "it's always the same doing the things" (in a company setting anyway.)

An annoying thing too, is that once a leader is designated, all the others around are like "oh cool, they'll do all the work and I can chill" only doing things if the leader actually tell them to. In a company setting (or in a group project...) no problem. In a killing game on the other hand...

The followers have the tendency to take the values of their leader in mind when taking decisions; in a company, it's seen as a HR employee avoiding to recruit women because he knows his superior is mysogynist. In the killing game, it's seen when Kaede declare they're all friends, and despite the murders that happens, everyone claim this mentality. (Claim. Not necessary follow... *look at the murders*)

Because yes, having people with differents values/goals (i.e: the mastermind working against them) obviously doesn't help the group.

And then, interestings things are seen.

It has been shown in the experiments, that the one stepping up to be the leader, isn't always the most qualified for the job.

Not only that, but people that chose their leader doesn't necessary makes the right choice, and prefer to have someone they like in charge, they are biased.

Looks familiar to anyone?

And now the most fascinating thing:

If no real leader (recognized, followed by everyone or the biggest majority and most importantly: DOING A GOOD JOB) is there, that's when a scapegoat is "designed".

You know, the one that everyone claim to be the source of all problems (the "villain") the one that get ignored (even when they are BLEEDING) the one that can get all their hard work for the group overlooked, even when said-work help to end the crisis? (AKA, the killing game?)

Hm, wonder who that is in V3!

On a lighter note, homor is a great idea in leadership. Studies showed that a joking leader eased the tensions in the group, and help motivate people to go forwards.

Hm, wonder who could try to make jokes to ease the tension...

#the therapist's rant #danganronpa v3 #analysis I guess? #I'm just using my lessons on the situation of v3

[captainqster]

B A S I C S

Name: Solis Nola, formerly had the title of pyr

Nicknames: None

Age: ~23 ish

Nameday: Noooo idea. Sorry babyboy, you don't have one. Would probably be in the equivalent of January if I had to choose (yes he's a Capricorn)

Race: Pureblooded Garlean

Gender: Male

Orientation: Bisexual, heavily male-leaning

Profession: Formerly an optio in the Garlean military, served as the assistant to a Centurion and worked in communications. Was stationed in Doma. After defecting he can probably be found in Ishgard doing hunts and other work to earn a living for himself

P H Y S I C A L     A S P E C  T S

Hair: Pale pink, soft, voluminous, the kind of hair that rich asshole you hate has. Slight curl and bangs that conveniently hide his Third Eye (I was specifically looking for that feature and what I found does too good of a job)

Eyes: Jade green

Skin: Sort of fair to medium toned

Tattoos/scars: No tattoos. The scars under his right eye and across his nose were given to him by other soldiers the night he defected. So was a nasty scar that runs from his left shoulder blade to his right hip.

F A M I L Y

Parents: Both alive and well. His father might have been a quaestor, aka a minister of state finances, while his mother was a well-educated trophy wife. His family is well off and Solis is their only child. They had high expectations and put him through quite a few extracurriculars such as piano, martial arts, violin (didn't stick), boxing etc. Their minimum expectation was that he serve as a decemvir and work his way up from there. That uhhh didn't happen (Note: Solis looks like his mother)

Siblings: None

Grandparents: Hasn't come up, probably just as privileged and insufferable as his parents

In-laws and Other: Unmarried. Has made an Au Ra friend who carries him around like a sad wet cat

Pets: None

S K I L L S

Abilities: Being pureblooded Garlean means no aether manipulation. He is adept with shooting (gunblades, rifles, pistols), piloting aircraft, and unarmed combat. He also has a punchable face and a knack for drawing negative attention

Hobbies: Piano, reading, eventually gardening. Maybe sewing but he'll hate every moment of it

T R A I T S

Most Positive Trait: Impeccable manners, eager to be taught new skills, wants to do the right thing (or what he deems to be right)

Most Negative Trait: Sees relationships as transactional, stubborn, lowkey manipulative

L I K E S

Colors: Spring and jewel-tone colors. Soft green, pale yellow, sapphire, ruby

Smells: Roses, tea, fresh laundry

Textures: Furs, silk, flower petals

Drinks: Coffee, tea, wine

O T H E R    D E T A I L S

Smokes: Never

Drinks: Socially

Drugs: Nope

Mount Issuance: None

Been Arrested: No but he should be. And not for the murder, just because he's Like That

Tagged by @wpip-raham, thanks so much! It was a joy getting to read about your hansom catboi

I'm gonna hold off on tagging specific people because I think a lot of rp blogs have details like this spelled out in their pinned posts. *However*, if you have an OC you've been dying to chat about please do this! It gave me a good excuse to think through some recent findings with Solis, who's not nearly as established as my bunboi Ilya

#rp #oc #solis #did this for my garlean defector bc he's considerably newer than my viera #reusing a former gpose bc i just don't have the energy to make a new one

[echofromtheabyss]

I am starting to have this idea that queerness isn't the only thing that gets constructed differently over time. So does straightness.

I think there is a unique quality to 1950s-80s heterosexuality that sets it apart as a distinct "thing." It's distinct from before. It's distinct from after.

The 90s-2000s are in kind of a long tail of this cultural motif, and now we're seeing this particular expression of heterosexuality really disappear in a lot of types of media and in the public eye; society just isn't trying to match up 18 year olds the way it was between the 50s-80s. Increasingly, a middle class person is going to stay sexless up until age 25 then they have 5 years to get their shit together to get married. This is a really alien way of thinking about life and love to Boomers, who basically may be, as heterosexuals, the very most privileged generation with the very most social options.

This is really coming up for me writing a sci fi setting that's basically just stuffed with frustrated Boomers.

First of all, heterosexuality in the Late Midcentury and Late Century begins to be constructed as an actual agentic lifestyle and mode of hedonic expression and freedom as opposed to just a broad social expectation.

Like, a 50s square is just assumed to be heterosexual by default.

But increasingly from the 60s on, in many cases, a heterosexual is increasingly actually agentically heterosexual. And agentic heterosexuality requires 1) increasing sexual agency, 2) a high number of options, and 3) the acknowledged existence of non-heterosexuality (even if you think it's the devil or something) and the idea that you come of age and learn your sexual identity/broadly have a sexual awakening. There are still unconscious trad gender role expectations mixed up in all of this too for a lot of people which makes this a much more confusing analysis.

Granted, I think that this last is far truer of Gen X and Millennials (declining options, higher agency, and a sense of "when did I know I was straight?" as opposed to just taking it for granted.)

Also I think this is actually going away.

No, we are not all becoming gay.

But what's going away is the shape of life that gave rise to a particular expression and construction of heterosexuality, now that middle class younger people are facing a couple of years at best (assuming you hit 25 as a total virgin in every respect, then are in a hurry to find a partner while you can, in what are really evaluative, status-conscious, shitty conditions) during which they have to do all their dating, then marry a Socially Appropriate Partner, and polyamory is a straight person's only way out of this shitty high-pressure thing we've constructed normie heterosexuality to presently be.

This is *not* the agentic heterosexuality of Boomers, and Gen X maybe got to experience the fading end of it. Also, it's not the "marry for transactional reasons because it's What Everyone Does/and we just assume everyone is straight anyway" of pre-Boomers because 1) it's clearly not what EVERYONE does, being able to marry at all is privilege now 2) we now have the youth narrative of figuring out your sexual identity (though this happens very differently for Zoomers than it did for anyone older than Millennial). It's easy to say heteros are just a default that people assume to be a norm, but in 60s and 70s work it becomes really clear that some men and women are actually horny for each other. That actually stops being legible later which is where a lot of Stalking is Love comes in, because the media stopped representing female thirst and female initiative. (Lots of analyses here but in 50s work - women actually flirt back, whereas in 80s-90s work, men flirt and women roll their eyes or act icy.)

And it stops being legible entirely once society stops being so openly horny. It's like the Sexual Revolution created a very specific construction of heterosexuality outside of normie heteronormativity, that is... kinda its own thing and its own energy. It stops being as legible because 1) the norm got bigger and more liberalized toward a larger number of behaviors and 2) society is just less horny. But that's not all. I think modern LGBT identity is constructed differently from the world I came out in. In a weird way, it's like 80s-90s LGBT identity is downstream of the Sexual Revolution and 60s-70s ideas about individuality, in ways that lots of expressions of modern LGBT identity are not; modern LGBT identity is... different somehow in ways I can't put my finger on. (I am NOT saying there were no LGBT people prior to the Sexual Revolution!)

FWIW, the idea that sexual and gender identity can be constructed differently in different times and cultures, is fairly standard Queer Studies 101, the big thing is that here I'm actually considering that *heterosexuality* constructs differently in different cultures and eras, too.

#the before time

[theblackdragon-studios]

Helluva Boss S2 E7 Reaction Notes

I finally watched the latest episode of Helluva Boss, and I wrote down my thoughts and reactions during. Here they are.

Warning: Contains spoilers to the episode

Thoughts as I watch:

-I wondered what Mammon’s voice would be…Cockney was NOT on my list of expectations. Wow. XD (Edit after rewatch: I think it’s actually Australian…thickly Australian. I could be wrong but it sounds either Cockney or Australian now I rewatched it.)

-Huh, Fizz and Blitz were fans of him when they were young…

-Only in Hell does anyone actually WANT to be a clown. XD

-Weird how Blitzo is so weirded out by Mammon’s pitch about working with him…though actually Blitzo really wanted to run his own circus, so maybe that’s why.

-I love how obvious this guy is. XD The jabs being made at corporate bosses here through this asshole’s whole character so far…they’re terrible at lying, yet people believe it anyway

Blitzo is all of us that caught onto the bullshit. XD This episode is so great already.

-Going for the jugular with that “women just aren’t funny” line. XD 1.) the show is by a woman. And 2.) …yeah. Most of them really aren’t funny to me. XD I know that probably wasn’t the joke (women comedians aren’t funny…), and we obviously aren’t supposed to like him, but yeah.

But also the “written by Vivienne Medrano” credit, AKA Vivziepop herself I think. That was great. XD

-“it’s not weird. You’re weird!” “It’s not exploitation” Exactly what Hollywood says now to anyone being critical of their stuff. Seriously, first South Park and now this…bravo adult comedy people. Just bravo.

Also playing an electric guitar version of “Carmen” I think it is. XD Even more clever, as that song was about how shady and manipulative that woman was if I remember right.

-…weird to hear adult Blitzø’s voice on his teenage self. Though I guess he went through puberty already. lol And I think Fizz’s adult voice is partially because of the fire accident.

-And now taking a jab at the entitled fans out there that aren’t giving constructive criticism and are demanding things then being all butthurt when they’re rejected. Finally an episode I fully get the social commentary on. lol

-$69.99 Subtle. Very subtle. XD (and “no refunds: if you don’t like it, it’s your fault”)

-I LOVE Ozzie here. You go man! Yeah he has his flaws too, even as a demon…but he is so sweet and so honest with Fizz it’s great. I also love the message here about both being a perfectionist…and being a people-pleaser. Destroying yourself to especially please someone that doesn’t give a fuck about you…because you think that gives you your worth. Especially after his accident… I have a lot of thoughts on this, but I’ll see where things go.

-Asmodeus calling Blitzø…somehow the most bizarre thing on the show yet. XD And how Blitzø is perfectly chill about it. Well I know for one, Blitzø knows about Fizz and Ozzie’s relationship and is happy his friend is happy…but I think this is also more evidence Blitzø wasn’t that upset at being picked on by Oz, and instead by being called out by his ex-friend, ex-girlfriend, and Stolas acting ashamed of their own relationship (which is transactional only he thinks…)

But he is at least a little polite when talking to Ozzie. lol So that’s nice.

-…the horse thing. He is STILL on the horse thing. Oh my gosh.

-Vivzie and her team are treating us to so much great stuff lately! First Stolas and Ozzie working together, and now Blitzø and Ozzie. This is comedy gold! Also Ozzie’s happy smile at the end of that scene when Blitzø said yes. Why are all these bird demons so cute? XD

-First, I still love Ozzie’s theme music (it’s the song from his debut episode) and second, cool to see his less flashy, public appearance in other parts of hell look from that first episode he’s in too. It looks really good on him.

And it’s cool seeing a Deadly Sin icon being more subtle outside of his ring. Makes me wonder what Bee looks like when she’s trying not to steal the show.

-Eh spoke too soon on Blitzø and Ozzie teaming up. Ozzie left, but I understand why.

-More jabs at Hollywood and their harmful treatment of their stars through Mammon calling an already incredibly thin Fizz fat

-Huh that rock music…I know I’ve heard it in the show before. I think this IS the Greed ring’s music…but I can’t remember.

-I figured one rescue and hug wouldn’t fix everything…but Fizz clearly no longer hates Blitzø and vice versa, and they are friends again it looks like. But I wonder if Fizz still has anxiety about Blitzø being at a performance of his…or maybe he’s just suspicious because Blitzø has always been openly critical of Mammon and these shows.

-“Smile inside and out”…I’m surprised Fizz doesn’t have depression like Stolas…

-Interesting how the background demons in this scene are just silhouettes. I don’t know if that’s to emphasize how he’s this colorful entertainment prop and toy for them and they represent real world fans…or if it was to save on work load

-Ooh these girls (the twin performers) look like they’re from the Envy ring (Leviathan’s ring) by the fish-like look of them

-I used to find Fizz annoying…but seeing him in the last episode and this one, he’s more like Moxxie. Too nice for this world when it comes to one-on-one conversation with the way he was so polite to those contest participants

-Oh yeah! Mammon said women aren’t funny. XD Ha! I thought that was just a joke for the opening, but he actually called back to it

To be honest I didn’t think any of their acts were funny though. Just cool acrobatics and talented crafting

-More “clearly the money-greedy corporate bosses don’t care about you, their stars, or anything but what sells”.

-I know people will still find reasons to hate this episode, but I find it hard to think of anything they could hate without really reaching for something

Actually…they’ll probably complain that Mammon-who is fat-is an asshole and they made him fat because of it…when really, I think it represents the greed thing. He’s supposed to be the stereotype of those fat business men in old cartoons and movies. But as a jester. (Edit: And because spiders have big abdomens)

(Edit after looking through the Helluva Boss tag seeing the nitpicks and complaints: Called it. And a few other things they really zeroed in on just to find something to hate about this. 🙄)

-Giant hellhound background character…was not expecting that. XD

-Fuck…they didn’t have to include that moment with the sign language. But they did…that’s so sweet

Though seeing that kid’s horns…I wonder if their horns also act as their ears? Because his are broken… or maybe he’s mute, not deaf, but Fizz still signed back (despite being exhausted, miserable, and wanting to win this and go home I bet) to show that kid deaf or not, that he took the time to learn for demons like that kid. (Edit: I rewatched it and the kid only had one broken horn in the later scene he’s in. …and I forgot Fizz’s horns are also broken but he can hear just fine…so ignore this theory from when I was watching…)

-…oh my gosh. The entitled fan is back now. This is absolutely commentary on both Hollywood and the Twitter freaks. So good.

-Entitled Fan remembers Blitzø too? Huh.

-Mammon’s 8 eyes…NOW all the webs around the place make sense. And all I can say is YES. Perfect design for the demon of GREED to have spider themes to him. It makes me think of Slughorn from Harry Potter, who was envisioned as a spider spinning his web representing his habit of collecting and exploiting the success of graduating students.

-Fizz making excuses for a shitty boss…also way too real...

-Again…seeing the twins’ performance, clowns must mean something else in this world. That wasn’t funny. It was cool though.

-Ozzie’s back! Yes! He’s so sweet to Fizz…and getting stuck in the door. XD

-Fizz is every famous person that is losing popularity to new things…the ones that cling onto it desperately instead of bowing out with dignity and what they have left…

-I know how Fizz feels here too…feeling he only has all the good things he does because of his fame...he thinks because he doesn’t look as great without it, that he’ll lose his relationship with Ozzie…

But man this couple is so healthy with each other. They try to be very private and secretive (and fail) which is straining, but they communicate with each other and they don’t allow for room for any misunderstandings…I hope we see more Bee and Tex too in the future (Bee might need a new VA if Ke$ha is still dealing with things or too expensive to hire) but these two couples will I hope play a part in Blitzø and Stolas’s drama with how they’ve shown they are in love with low-class demons as well…

Though Goetia are very different from the Deadly Sins…they isolate themselves from the lower class, while the Sins thrive on their company since they feed off their energy or it helps business and stuff.

-Oh my gosh, another Fizzmodeus song! Yes! And the adorable dance…man…I love these two! 💜

-Thank you, Blitzø! The entitled fan guy has been asking for it! And yes. You tell Fizzmodeus off for being hypocrites. XD He has every right to be mad after they bullied his friends. XD

-Oh man I see why the broadway version on Beetlejuice is Fizz now! That was an amazing song! Also Ozzie helping him. XD And getting…a bit more excited than he should. Hilarious. And Blitzø’s part helping too! This trio was awesome!

-The way the cheering kids track plays when Mammon appears in front of Fizz. XD I didn’t notice that until now.

-Yes! Get him Ozzie! Fight! Fight! Fight! Two Deadly Sins in their full power forms! Yes!

-Oh my gosh, the con artist Imp saying ‘I say I say’ again. XD He keeps showing up!

-Ozzie’s animal sound effects…so cool! And the twisting, lashing tails…I love how all-out they go with him being a mix of three animals! Cause Asmodeus apparently is described as having three heads (hence the two shadow heads in his mane) and this design shows that so well! I love it!

-Yeah I think Fizzmodeus being open will help a lot in several things. Including upper class demons getting their heads out of their asses about this stuff.

-This final frame is perfect! XD

Basically I loved this episode. It was so fun and I loved the worldbuilding seeing the leader of the Greed ring, and of course Fizzmodeus being adorable as always! 💜

I do think clown has a different meaning in Hell…but we did only see some of what they did. Most of the humor for me was definitely in the social commentary stuff. And as this is a show for adults…that is what you expect. Jokes about adult problems and mature themes. I got exactly what I was expecting from it.

#helluva boss #helluva boss episode review #(sort of) #blackdragon speaks #spoilers

[calico-heart]

aaaand 50 for Lyra

Thanks for asking! :3

50. Does your OC believe they are easy to love?

Yes and no.

She spent several years honing her feminine wiles to seduce dangerous, violent, sometimes foolish men - pirates who could protect her or offer her some kind of social clout. Back then she wasn't given to excessive brooding on the subject because this was the world she knew, and survival was far more important than vague ideals like true love or morality. She was good at her act. Those men believed they were in love with her. Often it was easy to make that so.

But that was never the real her, and any vulnerability she appeared to offer them was a mask.

And for a little while, Lyra doesn't even know who the "real" her IS underneath the layers of lies and emotional scars built up around her.

When she starts to realize there are other ways to live, and addresses the trauma she's endured, Lyra becomes pretty insecure. The world isn't what she thought it was. People aren't always who she thinks they are. So maybe the child in her she thought she killed was right, and love does have a deeper meaning.

And if so, where does that leave her, after everything she's done? She feels very strongly that she isn't going to be easy for anyone to love. Not if it's real. Because the real her is a battered, vicious thing that doesn't know the steps.

It's still hard for her sometimes not to think of it as transactional. She fears at some point her blunders and reactivity and impulsiveness and rage are all going to become too much of an inconvenience, too tiresome to deal with. She'll be discarded. She won't be worth the cost.

She's wrong, of course. And Lyra will make peace with that eventually. She and Astarion have plenty of years ahead of them to work out the kinks.

Both. Kinds of kinks. I guess.

(And I will reiterate again how absolutely hilarious it is that her backstory and Astarion's compliment each other SO well. I already had built her history before I started my playthrough or learned anything significant about Astarion. It was a complete coincidence.)

---

Amorous Asks

#amorous asks #bg3 #lyra #lyra bg3 #abuse tw

[kingkatsuki]

I didn't really know who to send this to and was just going to let it rot in my brain, but you commented on the lurker situation and it got me into a weird rabbit hole and made me kinda realize something a little tangential but I think still relevant. Maybe I'm old, but it seems like the attitude around fandom has shifted in the past decade or so from a collective of like minded people sharing and creating together, to a creator/consumer relationship that mirrors influencer culture. It's all transactional now. And that makes me sad tbh. Like participating in a community is so much fun and lurkers or those who just consume without engaging are really missing out, but also I hate seeing fan work creators getting treated like content farms. If you write or create art, nowadays that seems to define your fandom identity, it becomes your (unfair) barrier for participation and validation, and you're ostracized or forgotten and replaced if you can't continue to clear that hurdle for whatever reason. There never used to be this huge gulf between fandom creators and the other members, in my experience at least. It's like people now think they only have 2 options: be a creative person and provide a steady stream of free content (for an audience that expects/demands it from you) or mindlessly consume and only ever watch to the sidelines. But it's not true! Participate! Be a hype man! Curate your favorite fan content! Do something! Fandom is supposed to be more socialism, not capitalism! And maybe try to see the writers/artists as fellow fandom members first and content creators second. Like, you'd probably be frustrated too if people who you thought were your friends expected you to always be the only one to put in any effort to the relationship and then just ignore you if you asked for anything in return. It feels bad.

Nah, in a way I kinda feel the same. Sometimes I think I must be old because when I was younger and writing was primarily on quizilla/ff.net/LJ fics always used to have lots of comments, people would comment on each individual chapter and there were always bookmarks/faves etc.

In a way I want to say the shift in fandom has meant that people are more inclined to be lurkers now, or sites like tiktok/twt have made it easier for people to lurk. Or it could be that because there are more websites and years worth of content that it’s now easier to find fics and consume them mindlessly without worrying where you’re going to get your next fix.

But then there are sites like wattpad, and I know that everyone seems to hate wattpad for various reasons, but honestly I feel like the way their site works is ingenious. It gives people who read fics the ability to comment on each paragraph of the fic, enabling them to almost “live react” as they read through. And then you can still leave a little comment at the end or discuss in the comments with other readers/the author. And if you go on there now, you’ll see the sheer number of comments some fics have.

I also think that if you’re in a smaller/niche fandom you’re more likely to get more meaningful responses/engagement for your content. I used to write for Z Nation for example, which is an extremely small community and I got maybe 10-50 notes on a fic but more than half would be people commenting or simply interacting with me? Because people were grateful to find fics for their fave fandom? Whereas Bakugou there’s a million Bakugou fics so why should someone bother interacting with anyone when they can just scroll to the next one?

So it’s websites like that which make me think it’s partly that fandoms and the way we receive content has shifted, but I also think it’s people being selfish and ungrateful too. Because they just want to mindlessly consume and they don’t think about the living, breathing person behind the screen.

But for me personally, I’ve made some of my best friends by commenting on/reblogging their fics or just talking to them? So it’s like why wouldn’t you want to interact with people who are the same as you? Who enjoy the same things? Or why wouldn’t you want to do something so simple (and free) that could make someone’s day?

#jo talks

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

If twitter collapses, I'll be fine. I don't really post there, I just use it to follow artists and occasionally commission them, and the only "mutual" I have is a big artist who follows everyone who follows them, so no big loss. We're not friends, we've only interacted a few times outside of a transaction, they won't miss me.

What scares me more is the knock-on effect twitter's collapse would have on tumblr; tumblr isn't store brand twitter like a lot of blue checks seem to think, but I fear a ton of people will flock here anyway and the site will basicslly be gentrified- tiktokified- bought up by some opportunistic rich nutsack who thinks they can turn it from the imagined store brand twitter to a rival, coke va pepsi, mcdonalds vs burger king, twitter vs tumblr. Or worse, maybe the muskrat will cut out the middleman and buy tumblr himself. It would be pocket change to him; last time it traded hands it went for less than one-ten-thousandth what he just paid for twitter. If he sees a bunch of people flocking away twitter, he can just buy wherever they're flocking to, out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Tumblr thinks it can keep its head down and not get involved in the stupid game of thrones between billionaires and social media and news outlets, but it'll get swept up in the crossfire eventually. It's too mainstream to be left alone, no matter how much we pretend it's an inhospitable hellsite. This isn't Myspace, we still have an active userbase, new people still come here every day, so somebody powerful is gonna catch wind of our goings-on and ruin it for everyone. Twitter can burn for all I care, but when it des, tumblr will burn soon thereafter.

All my friends are here. I'm only in contact with two of my mutuals in real life, and I don't want to lose the rest. I have half a mind to exchange phone numbers or mailing addresses just so to keep in touch in the eventuality. I don't know, it just wouldn't be the same without posts to share; it's hard to keep so many conversations going, it's easier to just reblog something funny and acknowledge the funny things other people post, no words, just a mutual sense of camaraderie. Is mutualship the same thing as friendship? Sometimes. I would like it to be, but I don't know how that would shake out; I get the feeling a lot of mutual interactions would devolve into "hey," "hey," "how was your day," "good, yours," and then peter out into silence when we no longer have dumb shit to bond over. I have friends in Oregon, Washington, Montana, Texas, Alabama, California, a bunch of places, and I don't want to lose contact with any of them.

Social media is really important to me, because there are very few people to socialize with face to face in my hometown (everyone my age moved away for college, I'm one of the only people to come back, and everyone else down here is either a rich retired republican or a wage slave who actually lives a hundred miles away on the mainland but commutes back and forth every single day so they have no time to socialize...)

#twitter #tumblr #elon musk #muskrat #social media #mutuals #friends #friendship #contacts #my two cents

[wisteria-lodge]

un-burning lion primary (unhealthy badger model) + burnt badger secondary

would it be okay to ask you to help sort me? i have no clue what i am. i took the test twice, at first i got lion-something (i don’t remember), now i got snake-bird. i’m not like, hyperfamiliar w/ the system, so i apologize in advance if i’m rambling about something unimportant, or leaving out details that would help pinpoint my type. also if i’m just completely incomprehensible. or if this is too personal? Like, feel free to ignore if this come across too trauma-dumpy, or to skip and delete if this is too much to read?

Well, someone’s Burnt.

I understand that you’re essentially doing a service for free on the internet and you don’t really owe me anything.

I do this because it’s interesting, and it’s fun. I think it’s good for me, and I’ve definitely helped some people. But your focus on *owing* things is... kind of interesting. I wonder if you might not have some strong ideas of authority and transaction in your life? Maybe some Badger? Just a thought. 

ever since i was little, i was very. uh. idealistic? very into social justice, very much root-for-the underdog, i even had kind of sad fantasies of being some sort of revolutionary martyr as as child, “like, man, if i could die in a way that means i’m remembered (and that my life meant something)  and sends a message, that’d be cool.” 

...honestly, I think every Idealist (especially every Lion, good lord) has had the Joan of Arc fantasy. I get it. There’s something very easy about the idea of dying for a cause you are 100% sure is correct. I remember being about 15, and being hit right between the eyes by this bit from one of my favorite books - 

“It was not the homecoming that made my sprits lift, but the fact that I still had a job to do for Ambrosius... I believe that all the time I was was half hoping that I would be asked to die for him. I was very young.” 

the reality is, i’ve dealt with quite a bit of hardship since i was little and this overfocus on the issues of society was a fun way for me to displace the anguish and rage i was feeling regarding my own personal situation. I think internally I felt really helpless to do anything, i was being dismissed, i had absolutely no one help or understand me in any meaningful way. 

Well then you’re way ahead of where I was. 

I mean you’re completely correct. You have power fantasies when you feel powerless, because you feel powerless. I even think they’re a pretty helpful and risk-free coping strategy in the moment. The first step to getting yourself out of a bad situation is imagining yourself powerful. 

even with people i held close, i didn’t really realize i could talk about what i was going through, i was kind of there to be silly and fun.

Ooooh. Stuck in a ‘bit.’ This could be some Actor Bird, but I don’t know. Something about the way it’s phrased is making me think Badger. “I was there to be silly and fun” = my purpose [to the group] was to be silly and fun [and I am only my purpose.] Have we got an Invisible Badger secondary? 

when it comes to causes, it eventually struck me that i wasn’t fueled by any real feeling of “purpose”, i was just plain old sad and projected it onto literally ~anyone~ who was also sad because i thought focusing on myself is bad. 

Well. Congratulations on working though it. You must have done some serious work, to be able to lay it out this well and this succinctly. I am very aware of this coping strategy - focus on other people, all day everyday. That way 1) you get to feel good about yourself 2) you have an easy way to make other people back of your case 3) you don’t have to think about or deal with your own issues.  

Younger you sounds so Lion, and older you seems to have latched onto some pretty toxic Badger Primary talking points. I think this might be a Burned Lion story. You lost your “feeling of purpose” and latched on to a set of external beliefs that are being branded as “good.” 

and when i tried to put action to my beliefs, i wouldn’t like, measure my rage and my actions to be within the bounds of that same “right and wrong” i was otherwise so concerned with; i learnt through some pretty tough experiences that there are people who are beyond reasoning, so i’d fight fire with fire all the damn time, and that made sense to me -

Hmm. Out of control Lion secondary? Something beneath a “silly and fun” model that is just clawing its way out? Or were you just living in a loud (slightly exploded) Lion primary? 

but a lot of people reacted as if i was out of control, even people within the communities i identified so strongly, that i was under the impression would understand why and what i’m doing. that, uh, hurt, although i understood where they were coming from and would adjust my behavior.

So your communities (that you thought would understand you) actually thought you went too far, and freaked out. This is going to hurt no matter who you are, but this focus on communities, and correctly gauging vs incorrectly gauging the community is saying Badger to me. And since it’s about problem solving, it’s saying more Badger secondary.. 

To further illustrate my Savior Complex, i’d often find myself in friendships and relationships with people I felt were not treated correctly. it wasn’t built just on pity, i didn’t necessarily force friendships with people i just didn’t mesh with, but having been through A Lot, I felt like I could only connect with other people who been through A Lot. 

I would normally connect the term “Savior Complex” to a Lion primary, but the way you’re talking about it here actually feels more Badger. The focus on “fairness,” the need-basing, this way of dividing the world into ‘people who’ve been though it’ and ‘people who haven’t’ is kinda Badger. I’m thinking this might be what ever system you latched onto when your Lion Burned... because it doesn’t sound good for you, or like it made you very happy. 

One of them was the straw that broke the camel’s back though and really made me reevaluate what the hell am I doing. I was deeply scrutinized while i continuously gave myself away for this person. if i tried to set a boundary or question anything, i’d have the script turned around on me, and because i would pride myself on being so open minded, i’d really let whatever they accused me of doing live in my head rent free. 

Ouch, yeah that’s a Badger secondary. That’s *exactly* how a Badger secondary gets taken advantage of. You want to help, because that’s what Badgers do (and struggle with boundaries, because that’s what Badger’s do.) And this is a very chilling description of how Courtier Badger mirroring, which can be so joyful and wonderful... can also flip around and hurt you. Because if you reflect what people want to see back to them, by internalizing it... yeah. You can end up with all kinds of gunk that another secondary might have just disregarded.

it eventually made me feel like everything is always my fault, and that i  should just keep giving more, and trying harder. it’s only when i gave so much i basically couldn’t function anymore did i leave, and i was painted as The Bad Guy.

You were a Badger secondary who was taken advantage of. 

i’m now in this weird space where i still deal a lot with guilt, but i’m trying to not engage in it. I'm really distancing myself from anything that isn’t focused on healing and improving myself, causes included. My first priority should be being happy, and comfortable, and satisfied, and safe.  

YES. Correct. Won’t be any use to anyone (or any Cause either) if you’re not those things first. 

and also realizing that sometimes doing what i think is right will make people think i’m in the wrong, and that doesn’t mean that i am, and that truths can even co-exist.  i got kind of meaner, but also take losses easier and don’t try to push things that don’t work anywyay. 

You sound healthier. And you sound healthier in a Lion primary way, more than a Badger primary way. Little more mean, little more of a loner (and cool with it), little more of “that sounds like a you problem,” “what is true for me might not be true for you.” 

i do kind of still yearn for someone to understand me 

That’s being human. 

but not to sound like an ass but most people give me a headache. Too much black and white, too much group-thinking,

You’ll be okay, and people will also look better after you’ve healed a little. It sounds to me like you were probably in some pretty toxic Badger spaces, so of course these traits are too much for you right now. 

not enough communication (i don’t get social cues whatsoever) etc. I act friendly enough because there’s no real way to survive as an island on your own but it is exhausting lol

Your secondary sounds like it was severely, severely burned, in a burnt out kind of way. And right now, you are doing what you need to do to let it heal. And next time you’ll do better. Your communication and your boundaries will be better, and you won’t have to spend all your time being the fun person who never asks for anything. 

thoughtfulrunawaything

#sortinghatchats #shc #lion badger #lion primary #badger secondary #burnt lion primary #badger primary model #burnt badger secondary #wisteria sorts #sortme

[lilliesforya]

Gender, the beach, and a club in Tokyo

Weekend of August 26th

In Japan,  the separation of men and women based on gender is 1. really innate and 2. really prominent. Relationships between the two polarized groups are limited to romantic ones for the most part, with platonic relationships (friendships) being sparse. This is not a judgment as much as it is an observation. It’s not common to see a divide this big based on gender in America and it’s even less common to have the reason for it be explained as intrinsic to people. In the states at least, there are multiple theories surrounding gender and gender expression, one of them being “essentialism” which is basically the idea that men and women have innate/fixed/ intrinsic/ distinct qualities about them that divide them. Examples are “women are naturally better caregivers than men” or that “men are better suited for physical labor” (https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803095846595)

It is not commonly believed anymore in a lot of places in America (who knows though) but a lot of the way gender is expressed in Japan strikes me as essentialist but also manages to bend the rules in a traditional sense. It is still common for women to be homemakers and be responsible for all of the duties in a home (including raising children) but nowadays they have to do this on top of usually having a job as well. Compared to what I’m used to seeing, women act much more feminine here- despite the vast differences in attire. Like women can wear traditionally masculine clothes and have short hair (in America this makes you masculine) and still be seen as women. I think this is because their identity as women is so baked into the gender of it all the presentation is not as strict. But I don't know. I don't understand enough Japanese to really know OR have a good enough knowledge on Japanese ideas of gender. Either way, it seems exhausting. I was told that men and women can’t really go out one on one without it being seen as romantic. There is a strong divide between girls and boys growing up and it doesn’t really become socially acceptable to mingle until college or right after it (when they are expected to date to get married). I feel like this can create a ‘transactional’ sort of feel in relationships between people of the opposite gender here- because they’re rarely allowed to interact simply to interact. It’s a lot to take in as someone who tries to be mindful of culture norms different from my own but is a firm believer in gender being more of a social construct and form of expression that shouldn’t limit anyone. What can you do or even say when the culture is permissible of misogyny and harmful gender norms and restrictions? I can’t think about it for too long without losing my mind a little. 

Gender, at the beach,,,, struck me in waves. I am lucky to be far enough into the countryside and close enough to popular beaches where I wasn’t the only one wearing a two piece swimsuit. The sun is unforgiving and without a friend's small umbrella, I would have been sunburnt even more than I was. And I was really sunburnt. Tops of my feet, shoulders, my face, the whole thing. The beach often makes me overstimulated. The sand everywhere, the everpresent sun, for the longest time I wore glasses and I could never see clearly. This time was no different besides me having contacts. Maybe it was that or maybe it was the being on the other side of the world with strangers who are showing me kindness or maybe both- that had me just sitting half on a blanket (that was covered in sand) and feeling that despite the sand and the sun, I liked the beach. I giggled at my friends comments and antics, I got to float around in the ocean (the waves are much calmer here). I enjoyed the day and thought the beach was where it was going to end. I had already driven the farthest I’ve driven that day and managed to find beach parking in someone's backyard (it was so New Jersey). However, that’s not where my day reached its peak. 

Some time later, but not enough time for what was about to happen, I found myself on a rapid train to Tokyo. I don’t usually do stuff like “agree to go to a club in Tokyo within hours' notice and the plan is to stay there the whole night and take the first train home”, but how could I not? I don’t see myself as a risk taker but not going would have haunted me and being haunted wins over fear. Alcohol and loud music also will take the place where anxiety is sitting. I think I’m doing a good job socializing and I was having fun (It would be clear if I wasn’t). The lights are bright and flashy in the dark room. The music is so loud and within an hour or two of arriving it becomes densely packed. I was still asked at least once an hour if I was okay or needed a break. Honestly? Fair points, I’m sure my facial expressions betray me. Plus, it feels nice to be worried over a bit. It did make me feel better when we linked hands to get through the crowds. Like our little group was not to be separated and our hands were proof! 

Women only had to pay 1000 yen to get in and got 2 free drink tickets (not the same for men,,,). I stay in the long line with my friends instead of going in through the ‘Ladies only’ one because alone I am very small and in a group I am normal sized. I get talked into putting my bag in a coin locker (good decision) but I feel naked with only my phone and wallet in my pockets. The first floor is anime music (maybe video games too I don’t know), the second floor is English pop/ party music, and the third floor is like the second floor except it’s remixed EDM. The first drink I get is fruity and I wish it was stronger. The second is way too sweet and I wish it was a vodka soda (American sized pour). The third drink is handed to me by a friend and I have no complaints (I think it’s the first one again). The men there are incredibly creepy in my opinion and their eyes are predatory before anything else. No one bothers me and the other girl I’m with much but every time someone tries, she spins me closer to her and away from the offender. The bonds between women in a club are sacred to me. It’s like even without language we all understand protecting one another from becoming prey. I think some people would interpret this attention as interest which is fine but it’s equally as interpretable as feeling hunted. I enjoy the EDM visuals on the third floor but the second floor’s music is preferable. I’m ready to leave around 4:15 am and that’s about when we head out. I have some of the best ramen I’ve ever had in a shop that we wait way too long in line for. The train ride home feels like forever. I got home around 8:45 am and slept until about 3:30 pm. The anxiety of trying is now a memory of togetherness. 

#lily discusses gender theory #awe

[uptoolateart]

If I Let Myself Love You - Ch 4

My fic for @mlbigbang 2022!

PREVIEW from Chapter 4:

He put his hands on the floor and pushed himself up, onto his feet, then crossed the room and threw himself on his bed, limbs splayed out like a bedding angel. Through the door, he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and then the door across the hall being opened and closed.

He’s home.

But it was okay. Because Adrien was in here, safely hidden behind two whole doorways.

Claustrophobia seized him – the claustrophobia of knowing he couldn’t leave his shelter for the rest of the evening. Of knowing that his safe space was also his prison.

Think of happy things.

He thought of the tea he’d made – a small victory in his quest for independence.

He thought of Nino Lahiffe, approaching him at the end of their literature class and inviting him to exchange links to songs they each liked. That was an invitation for friendship…wasn’t it?

And he thought of Marinette.

Marinette….

His arm draped over the side of the bed. Sometimes there were moments in your life when you couldn’t help but run through the chain of events that had led to them and wonder if destiny was really a thing.

If he hadn’t moved to London….

If he hadn’t fought his father so hard about attending a public school, instead of that private one Gabriel had been so insistent upon….

If he hadn’t turned up late that morning….

The thought of that chain breaking – of one link being removed and the possibility of not having met Marinette – made him shudder. Which was crazy. Because it had only been one day. Not even a complete day, at that. But that was Adrien.

Too much like my mother.

He rolled onto his back, folding his hands over his stomach and staring up at the ceiling.

Did I come on too strong today?

He really didn’t know the right way to manage a social relationship. He was used to having his ‘friendships’ arranged for him, usually with sycophants, where it was more business transaction than genuine affection. There had been exceptions, of course. Like Kagami. But even that had ended…the way it had.

But Marinette really seemed to like me. We clicked…right?

The weight of what he’d done pulled him into the bedding. The thought of all that homework he’d earned himself in a single day of school pulled him down further, and he thought he might sink right into the bed and maybe come out the other side of Earth.

Maybe China. I could practise my language skills.

He groaned and retrieved his phone from his jeans pocket, holding it in the air above himself, not daring to click on the screen and check if there were any messages.

It doesn’t mean anything if she hasn’t texted yet. You can’t expect her to have done it already, Adrien. She’ll do it when she can.

You’re already assuming there’s no message there.

His finger hovered over the button to wake up the screen – then he tossed the phone aside on the bed and forced himself to sit up. The idea of homework danced in his mind. He pushed it aside like the phone and swung his legs over the bed, standing and walking across the room to the piano.

Keeping Reading at Ao3

It’s hard to be a normal girl with a normal life when your mother has terminal cancer. And when fashion model Adrien Agreste moves back to Paris and wants to be Marinette’s friend – or maybe even more – her life is turned upside down again. How can she risk opening her heart to love when her whole world is falling apart? Especially when Adrien is hiding a dark secret of his own….

*** No kwamis AU - 100% Adrinette. Half funny / fluffy and half heavy but with a happy ending. Please read tags. *** Rating: Teen and up

#ml big bang 2022 #ml big bang #ml fic #ml fanfic #mlb fanfic #mlb fic #miraculous fanworks #fanfiction 2022 #fanfiction 2023 #fanfic #fic #ml Adrien #adrien agreste #adrienette #adrinette #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous fanfic

[terrence-silver]

Do you think there is a single thing Terry is insecure about or doesn’t like about himself, aside from his formerly skinny body?

I don't think he likes a lot of things, actually.

And he's insecure about even more.

Naturally, one would often never be able to tell because he's so cocksure, arrogant and confident (none of which is feigned, but insecurity and security can exist side by side and play into each other, two sides of the same coin); Terry is the picture of charm, nonchalance and social grace when he wishes to be --- a talented well rehearsed throughout the long decades of his life --- but I think Terry is also unsure about everything ranging from his time as Twig in Vietnam, the lack of control he felt he's had during a great many crucial moments in his life, his barrage of mental illnesses, treated and untreated, the fact that he was in the army as a whole and has witnessed some things literally nobody or very few people could ever empathize with, as we see in his later years, maybe even the simple truth that he understands that he will never just be a normal, commonplace, ordinary guy no matter how hard he may try, especially something that would bother him in his post-therapy years when he sought neuter himself and be...just some dude. Which failed. He never could be just some dude. Terry always was and remained The Other, though --- the other where his sexuality is concerned, his gender, his very identity and how he expresses it, his worldviews, his relationships with strength, weakness and manhood, his philosophy, his interests, his intensity, his passions, experiences, the events he's been through, his everything. Terry Silver never was like everyday people, because his own extreme circumstances and very nature ensured he wouldn't be able to be, a fact that daunts and gives people the instinctual heebie-jeebies to such an extent that he felt he had to shrink and hide himself in ways to nagivate the world more seamlessly, shedding his skin time and time again, becoming a master at it, leading to an insecurity and a tactical ability all at once. He revels in it, but he is also somewhat vulnerable in a sense, because so few people know him. The real, actual him, for all his virtues, faults and flaws. In fact, it is safe to say nobody but John fully does. Maybe his staff in the 80's.

Then there is friendships, human connections and love.

Terry might feel he has to go above and beyond to repay people for every kindness shown to him because I think he's just never been shown too much kindness in general, so when it happens, he has an innate need to practically bribe off people for it to impress them and keep them around to give him more of that kindness, be it via buying them a dojo, sending them to Tahiti on an all-expenses-paid vacation, taking vendettas to extremes, paying them double and triple for teaching at his Karate school, showing up to pick them up at the airport in a extravagant limousine, lavish them with gifts and fancy drinks and dinners and fifty year old Whiskies from his private collections and utilize a Pavlovian method of rewards to garner devotion and hoo --- Terry feels he has to buy people, because nothing is for free, and basic companionship is something to be paid for, one way or another, and if Terry simply pays for it fiscally by choice, instead in some arbitrary way he cannot predict or understand in the long run, he is steering dangerously close to losing control and entering the unknown --- something someone who has to have the upper hand and has an innate fear of compromising himself would wish to avoid at all costs. So, money it is. He is a sleek businessman. He operates under a businessman's transactional mindset on a territory he knows. Unfortunately, this leads to him keeping the surface-level, vapid company of the types of Cheyenne Hamidi who literally don't know anything about him (nor did he seemed to wish to open up) and are clearly and obviously acting as a paid for companion here to have their business kickstarted by him (which she even says proudly, with a smile), leading to Terry having no valid and honest support system....which yes, leads to an insecurity. Because, even though he has everything in the world, true friendships are so hard, and love is nonexistent and everything always cost Terry so much. Literally. His own philosophy backfiring.

In the end, happiness is often out of reach for Terry; actual happiness.

One that is for free.

While what he views as 'less worthy' people get it with next to no effort.

Terry Silver moved mountains and received nothing in return.

Only a life saved in Vietnam nobody seemed to want afterwards.

And yes, he's insecure about it.

#terry silver #kk3 #cobra kai #character analysis #cobra kai season 4 #cobra kai season 5