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#[watches my twitter shitposting move to tumblr] oh no
the-kaedageist · 6 days ago
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Cursed idea: vid of the Ikithon + scourgers fight to Mariah Carey’s “Obsessed”
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servingcunt · 6 days ago
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OOOO @newyearknwwme tagged me in this cute little tag game 🥺🥺🥺❤️ it was so much fun ❤️❤️❤️ THANK YOU
(ALSO guys im so sorry for the lack of emojis i drafted this in word kjsadfljashdf)
why did you choose your url?
hahahhaha ive been in the habit of saving funny urls ever since tfatw came out jsdhflkjshdf and the “she lived she served cunt then she died” meme was making the rounds and i wanted a url based of that and surprisingly it wasn’t taken !!!! also i’m addicted to changing my url i need help-
any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them
yeah ahahahahahah i have a cdrama/fandom blog @imaprettyboy and then i have a joji blog where i make gifs shkflahsdkjfhskdj lol i am not gonna promo it JKHDLKJH but omg im fighting with the blog at the moment bc my gifs are not showing up in the joji tag :((( it’s a calculated move against me i know it
how long have you been on tumblr?
since the start of 2015 maybe ???? i had another account but deleted it and started fresh on here at the end of 2016. LMAO it started as a twd and yuri on ice blog khjhfdlsh my blog archive is so funny sometimes i look at it and laugh
do you have a queue tag?
hhahaha noooo. LMAOOOOOO vee’s answer is pretty much the same as me sldfhlakjhd i only recently figured out how the even do it and i think i prefer to reblog a million things at once ,,,, however i have been known to schedule things every now and then kasdfhlkjhd
why did you start your blog in the first place?
i started this once bc i think i took a break from tumblr for like a week after i deleted my old one but i missed it AJHDKJAHSjfhkdjhlk
why did you choose your icon/pfp?
omg zuko limp wrist angry gay icon !!! i’ve had this icon for uhhhhh maybe like 2 weeks now ?? originally i think i found the screenshot in someone’s twitter replies but the other day i giffed and coloured the little scene and took a screenshot from that and now this one is a bit more RED !! but yeah leo @thisisagaysonlyevent sums it up when he described zuko as my main girl and yeah <3
why did you choose your header?
omg zuko limp wrist angry gay icon !!! but yeah !! it used to just be that screenshot but i giffed it the other day <3333 i love it so much sometimes i just stare at my blog and watch him move hahaha
what’s your post with the most notes?
oh hahahahah i think its an umbrella academy one about klaus being gay and not being able to drive LMFAO. i kind of hate the post KJHDLJHFJHDskjdh it was a notes grab i will admit
how many people do you follow?
as of 11/6/2021 i follow 389 people kjshdflkjshdfkjhd i used to follow like 1000+ ,,,,,, but i was always missing my beloved mutuals’ posts so i cut it down sjdhflh the only downside is that the dash gets really really dead certain times of the day 
have you ever made a shitpost?
lmao i think it is my brand
how often do you use tumblr?
stop OMG skjhflkjhadskjfh this is so embarrassing ,,,, like a lot. its my main social media hahahah. i used to use instagram and tumblr equally but not so much anymore ,,,,
did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? who won?
LMAO vee’s answer to this made me laugh so hard bc SAME. i have never fought with people online for real but ive had dreams about it to HAAHHAHAHAH i’m crazy
how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this post’?
hmmmm it depends – i don’t like the condescending or guilt tripping ones
do you like tag games?
yes i do and i appreciate every single tag ive had but im a terrible person and procrastinate them. ive got a lot in my drafts from like months ago which i will get around to one day im sorry <3
which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? 
lmao this year ive learnt that SO MANY of my mutuals are famous kjshdflhsdf its actually so crazy i didn’t know people could have that many followers on tumblr KJKDLJSHFKJHF. also ahhaha vee said that she think im famous which sajkfhdljhdf i will say this year i’ve like doubled the amount of followers i had this time last year but servingcunt is still pretty niche underground if you know you know grungecore pickle rick kafkaesque et cetera et cetera
do you have a crush on a mutual? 
im for real in love with all my mutuals <3 ily
last song i listened to
okay technically it’s the song vee put bc i clicked the link and it opened on my spotify web browser and started playing jkhsfljdhfk but the one before that is the new doja cat song – need to know !!! 
my phone bg and lockscreen
LMAO ill put some screenshots LKJHFKJHD the lock screen and home screen really don’t go together ,,,, gemini moment
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tagging
lmao only do this if you guys want to <333
@sluthonorific @highwarlockkareena @beefleef​ (even tho vee tagged you alreadyyy sjkfhjhs) @nicholasbraungf​ @thisisagaysonlyevent​ @roombagreyjoy​ @sharkentine​ @doctorfeathers​ @softpluto​ @bucxkybarnes​ @katsstratford​
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dogin8 · 28 days ago
just woke up to a startling thought that i needed to share:
since yesterday there was so much discourse on twitter, there where probobly a lot of people moving to see what its like on dsmpblr
except dsmpblr was almost exclusivly posting about 2 made up characters called shittybabyfart69 and penisunavailable
so how many people do you think we scared away with penis jokes jfjzksk
Oh my god you're right AHSHSHHSHS
I'm just imagining people going like "Twitter has gone to shit, I'll have to go over to tumblr" and then coming here and seeing "I'M SICK OF EVERYONE HATING ON C!MILFBOSS, SOME OF YALL HAVE CLEARLY NEVER WATCHED HER POV"
Amazing, I for one am a supporter of moving entirely to psmpblr at this point lmaoo /j /lh
I genuinely had so much fun shitposting abt that and if it scared away twitter people, that's even funnier
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fallensvint · a month ago
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RED LIGHT
it was just some shitpost, who thought he’d actually see it?
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aran ojiro x camgirl!reader
2670 words | do not repost or recommend outside of tumblr.
cw: [18+, minors dni], filming, oral (both receiving), cum eating.
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“aran!” is the first thing he heard when picking up the phone, it wasn’t exactly early but he had finally gotten a day off practice, wasn’t exactly looking forward to being woken up to screaming.
“what is it?” he grumbles back, not really wanting to get up yet, but knowing sleep wouldn’t be an option now. just as he starts to push himself up in the bed, the phone starts to vibrate again, atsumu deciding to switch the call to facetime with no regard for aran’s state.
“look at this.” he’s shown another screen holding a twitter post with a few hundred thousand likes and retweets, but it’s the text that catches his eye. it’s an answer to some question about ‘something besides solo content’, and the reply being ‘the only person allowed to fuck me on camera is aran ojiro’.
it takes him aback. he physically shaked his head, and tries to rub the sleep from his eyes before rereading it just to be sure that’s what it actually says. even then, he’s still trying to process it all. the username doesn’t look entirely familiar but you’re obviously someone with traction given the amount of interactions it’s gotten.
“wha-what am i looking at right now.” he sputters out, pushing himself from the bed, thinking moving around will help him to fully wrap his head around it.
“it’s that cam girl!” atsumu says as if it’s obvious. “the one we were all talkin’ about after the event last month. c’mon you know the one-”
the phone’s moved to show a red haired man sliding in next to him, nearly vibrating in place.
“aran! remember it’s the one that can put a whole-”
he can feel his own eyes widening in remembrance. his face feels hot, thinking of the details hinata had gone into about your videos after you had been somehow brought up in the olympic players conversation. it didn’t take long to find out that only three of them, including aran himself, weren’t already subscribed to you.
“okay! okay, yeah i remember.” he would be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to do it as soon as he got home. but by then he’d forgotten what your handle was exactly and there was no way he’d ask any of the other guys what it was.
“so are you going to do it?” hinata chimes through the phone again.
“‘course he is!” atsumu replies back before he’s able to speak for himself. “you will, won’t ya? it’s not like she lives too far out. just a quick flight.”
aran blinks a few more times, not able to answer at all. not with the thought of you on top of him, doing all those things you’ve done in your videos with toys, to him.
“‘better call me while yer still there. wanna ask her if she’s into all professional athletes.” and following that, beeps ended the call. aran lets the phone fall out of his hand and onto the counter behind him, moving to the bathroom as he thinks a shower might do him some good.
just as he steps out of the water, all he can hear is the endless buzzing of his phone against the marble. thinking it’s atsumu again, he chooses to take his time making his way to it, only reaching out to deny the call. but it’s not him. the name that pops up belongs to the twins brother, hoping it’d be a normal conversation he answers.
only for the same topic to be brought up, osamu mentions how it might be a sponsorship opportunity if the site you work for would sign a contract with you. aran’s rubbing at his temple with one hand, ending it and sliding his phone onto the counter with the other.
he stares at it for a moment, debating. debating with himself in his head, and for the life of him he cannot think of one good reason to not just at least reach out to you. he does know your username now, it’d only take a moment for him to search you up, even quicker for him to send you a message. his fingers itch, body so tempted to just do it. but he decides it’s best to wait a bit longer, at least til after a decent meal.
even if you did post about wanting to fuck him on the internet for hundreds of thousands of people to see, that doesn’t give him automatic access to actually doing it. it’d be best to think of a good approach that didn’t have you thinking he was just trying to act on what you suggested.
he caves half way through breakfast, typing in your handle into his search bar and hitting the message option. he freezes there, thumb hovering over his keyboard with a suddenly blank mind. he decides to click back, going over your recent tweets which all seem to include his name. he tries to bite back a smile despite no one being there to witness it.
’no, not just any athlete lol, only aran.’
‘he’s so cute have you not seen his interviews? plus, his fucking spikes- oh my god.’
‘i’ve never spoken to aran before! it’s just a celebrity crush guys.’
he has to stop himself from liking them, knowing it’ll pop up on everyone's timelines and he’ll be getting a lot more than just two phone calls. instead he sends one to you, he knows it’s not what he had in mind to start with, but you’ve very clearly already shown what your motives were. hopefully a corny ‘only me, huh?’ isn’t enough to change that.
you tweet again before you reply, neither of which are anywhere near being coherent. just a bunch of random letters, some numbers thrown in here and there. he can’t help but laugh, watching the dots come in and disappear a few times before receiving an actually legible message.
‘so when should i fly out? or would you rather come here?’
his eyebrow quirks up at your boldness, though that should be no surprise at this point. his eyes look to the top of the screen to check the time. it’s still early, last minute flights would be pricey, but it’s not like that was an actual concern.
‘well, im off today and it would be nice to get out of the house.’
your next message is nothing more than an address and a phone number. he wastes no time gathering himself, purchasing a ridiculously expensive ticket and getting out the house.
it takes nearly four hours to make it from his front door to yours, going through the airport, awfully uncomfortable plane ride, then an even more uncomfortable taxi to yours. but the moment you open the door, large t-shirt hanging from your frame, a big smile and batting your makeup clad lashes, all thoughts of discomfort are thrown out the window.
“i’m still setting up right now if you just want to make yourself comfortable.” you move to the side, allowing him entrance before shutting the door behind him and practically skipping as you pad further into the house. he can feel his face burn, realising what exactly he was here to do.
“do ya’ want some help?” he trails you around the corner, setting his bag at the doorway of the room. his eyes are glued to you as you bend over, adjusting one of the large lights facing the bed. he can’t stop himself from drinking in the sight.
“i’m almost done,” you reply, looking back at him. “but you keep lookin’ at me like that and you’ll have me on you before i get to press record.” he apologizes with a smirk, moving towards the bed, careful not to mess up how you’d made it when he sat.
after another few minutes you’re walking about to him, not hesitating when you pull the shirt from over you, letting it fall to the floor as his eyes eat at the revealed dainty fabric.
“if i’d known you were going to wear something like that i would’ve dressed better.” you giggle, revealing that pretty smile once again and he can’t help the way he mimics it.
“it’s okay,” you assure. “i’d rather you be naked anyways.”
“you got it, baby doll.” he hops up, making a show of tugging his shirt over his head. feeling a bit more confident with each second you continue to so obviously stare, lips parted slightly while your eyes explore every inch of his torso.
“before we start can i ask ya’ something?” his fingers dip under his waistband but stay there, waiting on your response. you turn your head, snapping yourself out of your trance before walking towards one of the camera’s you had set up, replying casually.
“oh uh, my safe word is coconut and there’s really nothing off limits, just make sure i can breathe and the cameras have a good view.”
“got it, but-” he watches the way you move across the room, messing with the buttons until the red light shines. “i was actually wondering something else.’’
“oh?” you look back, waiting for his question.
“Just uh.. why only me?” you smile, turning back to finish your task.
“well just- i’ve always been into athletes,” you sigh, shifting your feet slightly. “and they’re all the same. loud, arrogant, cocky, spoiled man babies.”
aran can’t stop the chuckle that slips at the almost exact description of someone he knew.
“and i dunno, i caught one of your interviews one day and you’re just so kind. never seen someone in your profession so successful and genuine.”
his heart throbs at the way you're still smiling when you turn to him, eyes cast to the side as you start twisting at your fingers.
“but uh, enough of my crush- can you sit on the bed? need to check the angles.” he pushes the grey material down a bit further, hooking into his underwear to take it all down in one go.
“this okay?”
you look up from the screen after he’s sat, mouth hanging open to reply to him just as he removes his hand from where he was holding himself. he has to bite back a smirk at the way your eyes keep moving between him and the sight of his half hard cock, lips moving to speak but no noise escapes them.
finally you nod, checking the screen once more before moving towards him. he assumes both cameras are recording now with the way you climb onto his lap. your legs fall on either side of his, soft skin pressing into his lap.
“ready?” you breathe out. your hands are placed on his chest, eyelashes fluttering slightly when calloused fingers reach around to squeeze the flesh of your thighs.
“whenever you are.” he whispers back. You instantly press your mouth to his, letting yourself melt into the kiss. his hands explore your body, the softness of you has a warmth settle in his stomach, growing and spreading more with each second as he starts to kneed at your ass..
you pull away from him completely, falling to your knees in front of him. his eyebrows shoot up but he doesn’t resist, not that he could with the way you pucker your lips to spit on the head of him. soft hands spreading it down the length of him. you don’t care to hide the way his soft groans affect you, letting out moans of your own when you wrap your mouth around him.
you keep your eyes open and on him when you roll your tongue over the outline of the tip. he falls back to lean on his elbows, fingers twitching into the duvet when one of your hands find their way to his balls, cradling them softly while you take more of him into your throat, gagging a bit when you’ve managed to take half of him. he reaches out, placing a hand on your cheek, thumbing over it in encouragement.
you try again, getting a little farther before you’re sputtering out. tears filling your eyes, face contorting in distress.
“don’t hurt ya’self now.” he warns, but you ignore him. continuing to take more of him in your mouth and down your throat. you’re nearly to the hilt of him when you gag again, tears falling freely but you keep your gaze on him. he feels light headed from the sight of you, body heated and nearly numb when you start to bob your head. one soft hand working at massaging his heavy balls, only adding to the pleasure he feels.
“fuck-” he grunts out, chest heaving. “just /look at you.”
your other digging nails into his thigh, without thinking he reaches out. taking it in his own, he lets you squeeze it as much as you need. his body is more focused on the good, cock twitching as it hits your throat once again, the feel of you moaning around it quickly has him over the edge. he’s sure to not crush your hand, but his other flies to your nape, holding you there as he releases down your throat. his own head thrown back, muscles flexing as he groans. he doesn’t take long before he’s pulling you back onto the bed, pressing his lips to yours.
“‘m sorry.” he mumbles against your lips, hands gliding over the curves of your body.
“‘s all good, you whisper back, reaching back to undo your top. “i can take it.”
you push him back by his shoulders, standing back up to strip yourself of the bottoms as well, bending towards the bed when doing so, making a show of the slick sticking from you to the fabric as you peeled them off. he licks his lips from the thought off all of that being just from having him in your mouth, he can’t help but want to return the favor. whenever you go to place yourself back on his lap, he moves. shifting his body around so his head was at the foot of the bed, you pause, confusion etched on your cute features.
“said to make sure the cameras had a good view.” he laughs pulling you to the side of the bed so you could straddle his face properly. “‘m sure everyone would love to see the way you look riding my tongue.”
your thighs rub just from his words, but spread so easily when he parts them. he mimics you when he licks the first stripe on your slit, keeping his gaze locked on your face. soaking in the way you contort with pleasure as he circles over your cli. your moans are wonton, but no doubt genuine. telling with the way your thighs clenched around his head, hands gripping his own when he wraps his arms around your waist to hold them.
“ar- aran, fuck, wait-” your chest heaves as he dips his tongue into your entrance, pulling out and pushing in teasingly. his hands move up to cup your chest, rolling your nipples when he attaches lips to your clit, tongue flicking over the nub. your words become more slurs of whines, hips jumping in time with each move of his mouth.
you try to pull yourself off of his face, but he doesn’t let you. strong arms moving to wrap around your thighs, locking you there while he continued on, switching between flicking his tongue and circling it around your bud until your whole body shook in his grasp, doubling over on yourself as you moaned out more incoherency. you take a moment before pulling yourself up, trying to fix your breathing before even trying to remove yourself from him.
“fuck!” you scream, looking up.
aran’s face scrunches up in concern, but you quickly follow up.
“i forgot to press record on this one.” you groan, and he presses a kiss to your clit. hands massaging the sore spots where he’d been gripping.
“i’ll be here all night, baby. go turn it on.”
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repost from my old blog.
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kozuelle · 5 months ago
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streamer kenma hours 😄
prompt (??): kenma (@/kodzuken) is a popular streamer (ur his s/o 😏) and you do the TikTok trend where you make him cuddle you while he’s playing games
pairings: kenma kozume x gn!reader (gender neutral) but put in any of your preferred pronouns as well if you’d like
TW: a bit of cursing but for the most part none. this is pretty much fluff of a dream I had 💀
ayo this is my first (fanfic?) checkk ‼️😤
A/N: how do I use this app 😀 ok so like idk how tumblr works bc I’m not smart enough so imma treat it like wattpad only I get to shitpost. Wait fuck am I allowed to curse. Fuck. Damn. Wait shit. I mean- ok never mind. Um anyways... this is like a dream I had and I wanted to put it into words ig? Idk 😭 but anyways yeah. oh also put in requests if u want bc I have like no creativity 😔
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After a long hard day at your job, a few minutes before you were done for the day a customer at the store you worked at decided to spill coffee all over you. Now of course this wasn’t their fault in the slightest but on top of the stress from your job it was too much and you let yourself off of work a few minutes early. You checked your notifications and realized your boyfriend, kenma kozume (@/kodzuken) and popular game streamer was streaming and wouldn’t be able to hold you when you got home.
You screamed in frustration in your car as you drove away, angry at the bad luck you’ve been facing today. You check to see if kenma maybe got off stream early and give him a call, but it rings a couple times and goes straight to voicemail. You accept defeat and continue driving, until out of nowhere it starts pouring rain outside.
“Why goddamnit! Of all days I had to not bring an umbrella today was the day,” you mutter as you put up your windshield wipers, hoping the rain would go away by the time you got home. It didn’t. After you finally pull up to your flat in Tokyo, you run, taking all of your stuff through the pouring rain making sure to lock your car. Once you hop into the elevator and wait until it stops at your level (sry if this isn’t accurate lmao I’m not rich 💀) you try to pat yourself dry.
“Y/n, get it together,” you say shivering, hoping that kenmas stream wouldn’t see you as you haven’t been shown on camera yet. Not that your boyfriend is ashamed of you, no, quite the opposite. He knows that some of his fans can be a little, overwhelming to say the least, and would rather keep you away from death threats and bullying online. The elevator finally dings and stops at your flat where you collect your stuff and get into the place you call home. Unable to tell kenma you’re home like you normally do you shoot him a quick text:
To: future husband ‼️😏
hey bub im home... just thought I should let you know. love you <//3
delivered at 21:17pm
After heading over to your shared bedroom and changing into one of his hoodies and sweats, you plop down on the couch and check your phone, seeing a video on TikTok. Apparently it’s a trend to go over and cuddle your s/o while they’re gaming and your bf is a streamer/gamer so you think you should try it on him. Remembering that he has a copy of his stream and you can ask for the footage later, you decide to act now, think later. Surges of adrenaline hitting you in waves, your legs decide to have a mind of their own as you make your way to his gaming room.
Doing a quick knock so that he isn’t so suprised and so you won’t chicken out, you tell him, “bub, I’m coming in ok?” in the most innocent tone you can muster, and open his door, finding him staring at you. No, gaping at you as you make your way over to him looking at his paused video game and the stream chat moving so fast you can only make out a couple words. Some of which being “s/o, lying, sibling, and banana.” Wait maybe that last one wasn’t quite right but you get the point and are shocked at the effect you have. He moved his microphone away from his mouth although its a futile attempt as the high quality technology of his headset picks up the conversation just as easily.
“Kitten what are you doing here? I thought you wouldn’t be home for a couple more minutes and you know how I feel about your face being shown on cams,” the last part sounding very possesive but protective on your end.
Realizing that although you tell yourself it’s just for a TikTok, you didn’t need to lie when giving him a reason and you really do want cuddles. “I’m sorry bub I was just having a bad day at work so I came home a little early and I wanted cuddles. You didn’t respond to my text and I didn’t know you were streaming,” you tell him giving him a look that you know he can’t refuse. As he stares at you dumbfounded, you can’t help laugh a little at the in shock way he looks.
“Fine,” he grits out with no malice and you can tell it didn’t take much to get him to agree. As he moves his microphone back to where it was, you climb onto his lap, straddling his waist, as you wrap your arms around the nape of his neck. “Everyone, meet my... s/o y/n,” he tells the stream while chat goes crazy and you start to get comfy. “We’ve been dating for 3 years now and I haven’t shown their face or revealed I had a s/o because I didn’t want them to receive hate. That being said, now that you all know who they are, please treat them with respect and kindness. They make me really happy,” he says looking at you lovingly as you turn your head to meet his gaze at his words. You blush and turn away, busying yourself with putting his hair back up into a low bun and familiarizing yourself with his steady heartbeat as you cuddle him, slowly falling asleep in his lap.
Kenmas pov: (ahaha bet you weren’t expecting that one)
Now that the stream had ended and I finished my game, winning of course, I was getting sleepy as well, y/n already fast asleep in my lap before I even got 15 kills.
I pick her up watching her snore slightly and drool a little thinking they were the most precious thing ever. As I walk over to our room, careful not to wake them, I murmur subconsciously, “I love you so much baby” not expecting them to repeat the same thing to me in their sleep. When I finally reach our room I lay them down carefully, making sure they wouldn’t wake up as I went to brush my teeth and get ready for bed.
After I finished with hygiene (that’s important kids 😀) and changed into pajamas, I tiptoed back to our bed tucking us both in and cuddling with them, already half asleep.
Fan watching the stream pov: (why am I making so many povs? The world will never know.)
OMG. OMG. THE KODZUKEN JUST ANNOUNCED TO ME AND THE OTHER 2.5 MILLION PEOPLE ON HIS STREAM THAT HE HAS A S/O. Theyre gorgeous of course, I wouldn’t expect anything less, and the way they look at each other- wow. I quickly open Twitter and not to my suprise everyone is freaking out over kodzukens ethereal s/o (thats you babe 😉).
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