sweetpotato-art

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#old self portrait i made #idk if i like it #but year here it is #drawing #art #doodle #self portarit

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daydreaming~

#art #digital art #digital drawing #drawing #sweetpotato art #yandere thoughts #digital doodle #london oc

[sweetpotato-art]

just some loveydovey doodles :3

#been having some fantasies #also trying some furry stuff #very simple stuff for now but i have something else im working on #drawing #sweetpotato art #doodle #digital doodle #lovey dovey #im in love can you tell? #mlm

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caught the big bad wolf ;)

#digital drawing #suggestive art #nsft #t4t #trans man #my husband!!!!!!! #art #digital art #drawing #sweetpotato art

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some uh... practice?

#idk trying something out #art #drawing #digital art #digital drawing #digital doodle

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i took pictures of all my sketchbook pages cause i wanted to make a cool little video like a sketchbook tour of sorts but every time i try to open the images on ay app or website they look like a video on 144fps quality i wanna cry

#why is this happening #i hate this #i hate my life #i give up on this shit #it took so long to find a good position to take all the pics from the same angle and shit #and it was all for nothing #UGHHH #not art #artist help

[sweetpotato-art]

spoiler alert: he did not notice London (short guy) and was just looking over at a friend

#drawing #art #crush #digital art #digital drawing #sweetpotato art #anxious #yandere of sorts #femboy

[sweetpotato-art]

whenever someone tells me that i need to post consistently if i want to build a following and sell my art

#uhh id rather not?? #i dont have the energy or creativity for that im sorry #art #artist #artist vent #commissions #doodle

[sweetpotato-art]

i miss drawing whatever

drawing things without really caring if it looks good or nah

drawing things that seemed waaaay out of my comfort zone

drawing even if my habilities hadn't reached that level yet

looking through old sketchbooks they just seem so much more fun and interesting cause i was just... having fun

now im stuck drawing the same things

stuck with no inspiration

...i just wanna go back

#not art #artist ramble #i want help #does anyone know how to go back to having fun with drawing? #sweetpotato art #art tips

[sweetpotato-art]

was looking at some pinterest stuff and just thought about something i havent seen and id love to see:

TV head character (or computer head, yknow just monitor for a head)

AND THEY CAN ONLY COMMUNICATE BY SHOWING MEMES ON THE SCREEN

#art idea #oc idea #not art #pls if anyone has seen a character like this #pls send it to me pretty please #character concept

[sweetpotato-art]

i can't seem to reach you

#vent art #digital doodle #art

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would you let her stay?

#short comic #drawing #digital art #digital drawing #sweetpotato art #artist

[sweetpotato-art]

drawing some old OCs :3

#drawing #doodle #sweetpotato art #artist #original characters #they are both wh0res :) #digital doodle

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#sketchbook page #drawing #art #sweetpotato art #late halloween art

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...

#dream #dream journal #vent art #digital doodle #late night doodles #art

[sweetpotato-art]

i'll never forget that dream

i was spiriling into this void of creating versions of people in my head, creating scenarios that would never come true. it's easy, y'know? getting caught up in your head, making up things that would never happen, at least not the way you want them to.

i think i had versions of everyone i knew. versions that fit into what i wanted them to be like, how i wanted them to react. i also had little characters for my daydreams, besides the people i had in my real life. idk which were more dangerous.

one night i was sleeping, my mom was visiting and was sleeping in my room, in a mattress beside my bed. i had this dream... i was getting therapy with this guy that didnt really believe in psychoanalysis and he didnt care much for the dream, but to me it was really important and made me start changing my behaviours. since it was around 5 years ago i dont remember it all that well, but i remember there were all these versions of my mom. i had a nightmare that changed into me meeting my mom or calling for her a bunch of times, and every time i was met with a different version of her. they were all very sweet in their own ways, tending to me differently but always with a soft and sweet look. one of them was even a robot!

...

i didnt think much of them until the very last one.

i "woke up" (still dreaming) and i was in my very room, my mom asleep on the mattress beside my bed. i woke her up, saying i had a bad dream about a man running after me wanting to hurt me (a recurrent nightmare i had back then due to a traumatic situation). she took me to the armchair i had in my bedroom and sat down with me, shushing me and caressing my hair

then it hit me.

i knew she wasnt real

i knew she wasnt my real mom, none of them were, none of those versions was her

and they would never be

she knew it too

but there was nothing to do then

so i cried, and cried

and she tried conforting me on the couch, knowing the reason why i was crying, unable to do anything about it

we sat there as i cried

until i woke up

(for real this time)

i woke up my mom, said i had a bad dream. i told her about the dream of the man hunting me, she suggested it was because i was sleeping shirtless with someone else in my room (something i never did before) and told me to drink some water and put on a shirt, try to go back to sleep

so thats what i did

but since then, i started stepping away from those daydreams and versions of people i knew, started trying to connect with real people again

...it was never the same though

#vent #maladaptive daydream #maybe idk #daydream #daydreaming #depressed #actually mentally ill #dream journal #if anyone wants to make better sense of that dream or create some theory envolving spirits and such im open to that #spiritualism #delete later

[sweetpotato-art]

Do I hate this? More than anything yes

Can I figure out why I hate this? Apparently not but I’m moving on

Sketch that got out of hand inspired by that oil line from Brass Goggles

#not mine #fanart