If I had a nickel for every time a professor asked me to draw gay porn, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
41 notes
·
View notes
My bf, who just unlocked his phone with his dick: “You wanna make a tumblr post about this?”
4 notes
·
View notes
Gotta apologize to my therapist tomorrow for not scheduling my antidepressant consultation because I made a new punk rock playlist and all my bootlicking tendencies from my mommy issues have now stemmed into unbridled rage. Also I have a mullet now
5 notes
·
View notes
Platformers be like:
-Oddly Midwestern summer vibe
-Beach
-Desert with lava
-Ice but no bears
-Lava with no desert
-A castle of some sort with purple undertones
6 notes
·
View notes
Get in loser we’re gonna start an urban legend
1 note
·
View note
I’ve got ADHD and a proclivity for crunchy snacks, of course the subtitles have to stay on
3 notes
·
View notes
I knew loving a man would catch up to me someday
4 notes
·
View notes
Late to therapy because I was bopping to the Home Depot theme song
4 notes
·
View notes
Keeping your zoom camera on the whole time when the teacher says it’s not required is pretty privilege
3 notes
·
View notes
My born and raised LA boyfriend upon coming to the Midwest: “The men here... they either have so much hair... or none at all...”
6 notes
·
View notes
The sexual tension between me... and the semi truck... swerving in and out of my lane...
1 note
·
View note
Man I’ve never had friends before that regularly want to hang out, and it fucking sucks not being able to sleep for days at a time now
6 notes
·
View notes
I’m sending my dad boomer memes so he’ll pay for my tuition
7 notes
·
View notes
So I spent 2 hours rolling a fallen tree into a river, and then spent another 3 swimming it back because my dad saw it when we were hiking; he said he thought it was cool. So yeah dads don’t abandon your children.
2 notes
·
View notes
I love the anonymity of tumblr because I have irl followers on my other social media. I can say whatever I want on here with absolutely no reprocussions. Save for you, Alyssa.
6 notes
·
View notes
I don’t really feel like a woman. Everyone keeps telling me I’m gonna grow up into a nice young woman; I’m a young lady. That I’ll blossom into one. I don’t really feel that way, truthfully. I don’t walk with rolling hips that sway with confidence. My sex doesn’t walk or talk. I’m just here... in this body.
Honestly I just feel like a kid. I know I’m supposed to be an adult- a woman. But I don’t know. Sure I go by a female identity, but I’ve never had that “Man, I feel like a woman” moment. Ever. I don’t get how others look at me and think the words “young lady.” Saying that to myself in the mirror feels like scraping my teeth. What’s it supposed to mean?
In all actuality I don’t know too much about myself. All I know is that I like Pb&j sandwiches, strawberry candies, and big dogs that just have to lean on you. I like sitting in the park when it’s raining to hear the grey quiet. I like soft shirts fresh out of the wash with the scent of detergent still on them. Heavy naps that make a boring day roll by faster. But you can’t fit all that into a glance, can you?
5 notes
·
View notes
Yes my name is baby it’s short for Babylonian Whore
4 notes
·
View notes