superhousecat-once-again

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Cause My Insides are Red

And Yours are Too

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Marcille: "Uhhh . . . I'm so hungry . . ."

Laios: "We should have waited until we were at the end of this maze to kill and eat the minotaur. Senshi, what do we have left?"

Senshi: "We're good on water due to that aquifer leaking into the maze, but otherwise all we have left is my spices and this unopened bottle of benadryl."

Laios: "Hmm . . ."

Marcille: "Laois, look at me. Benadryl isn't food."

Laios: "I know that, but what if we were to kill and eat the Hat Man?"

Chilchuck: "WHAT?"

Senshi: "What's the Hat Man?"

Marcille: *sighs* "It's a shared hallucination, generally induced by certain kinds of drug intake. Some mages have tried to study if it's real but were unable to prove that it stayed tangible or present after they sobered up."

Senshi: "So that benadryl would lure the Hat Man to us, and give us a chance to fight it? That will be tough. Sounds like we will have to kill, cook and eat it all before the medicine wears off if it will lose tangibility otherwise."

Laois: "That's it! If we need only one or two of us to kill the Hat Man, then the rest can be dosed up only right before the meal is done cooking."

Senshi: "There's one problem with that. Dwarves are basically immune to any tallmen drug that isn't prescription strength. I'll need half the bottle just to have enough time to eat the meal. Chilchuck, you'll be able to use it the most efficiently because of how little you weigh. I can make sure that the fire is ready, but you'll have to fight the Hat Man alone and dose Marcille afterwards to help you with the cooking prep. Laios and I shouldn't risk taking more than needed just to eat."

Chilchuck: "ARE YOU CRAZY?! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THE HAT MAN IS REAL! And I don't do the fighting in this group! There's NO WAY that-"

Narrator: And so with their plan formulated, Chilchuck took a heavy dose of benadryl and prepared to fight the Hat Man in single combat.

Part 2

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guy who yells out “IM GONNA FUCKING LOSE IT” before letting out the gentlest, smallest scream you’ve ever heard in your goddamn life

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you literally have shitty hide armor and a dull ass shortsword. let me guess. your loot is 6 gold coins too? 🙄

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mispronouncing flabbergasted as faggotblasted

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after being mutuals for a certain time tumblr should give you a coupon for a free trip to hang out with them

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As an autistic person I do not identify with the “autism creature” meme. I am an autism monstrosity, I am an autism beast, I am even an autism horror.

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unblock me princess I have a barely relatable meme to send you

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They should create a version of doing poorly mentally that you can tell your friends about without stressing them out

#like my friends are all already so stressed and busy that the idea of going to any of them and being like #‘hey just so you know - I am having to dedicate most of my mental energy these days into not breaking down into deep sobs’ #‘like it’s fine I’m not going to die or anything - I just feel like my life is deeply stagnant and that I should just run away’ #‘and it wouldn’t impact anyone except my job because I’m deeply deeply isolated and don’t know how to solve that anymore’ #like!!! I hate being a burden on them!!! I know the last thing anyone needs is to hear whatever sadness is living inside me!!! #i just. i don’t know what to do. besides what I always do. which is just keep going and push it all down. #which to be fair has been relatively effective so far in terms of ‘keeping me alive and productive’ because eventually things get better #but man. sick of it always being eventually better. what about right now. can I have a good right now. #brain thoughts #to probably delete later

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when you eat, will you set a plate for me?

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"I missed eating beef wellingtons so I went to go eat ground beef out of the dumpster"

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I keep debating trying to date again because I can tell I’m increasingly fixated on my job in a ‘no work/life balance because the work is my life’ way and I know that’s Not Good and I could really use Anything Else to dedicate my mind and energy to but….. god the idea of dealing with the stilted conversations and people being disappointed with me just makes my stomach turn.

#like maybe checking your work email as soon as you get home is actually cool and good #(and checking it several times over the weekend) #and reading your documents over and over on your phone #I am normal and doing good and clearly don’t need anything else in my life besides my job #like sure it’s nice having someone to spend time with and relax around but having to convince someone to find my whole deal charming is just #very ugh very tiring my work emails never hurt me (except when they do buy that’s just because sometimes people are idiots) #brain thoughts

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Guy who fakes his death every time he gets mildly embarrassed about something he did

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Reverse Air Bud movie about a human basketball player who, on a technicality, enters and wins the westminster dog show

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