superbloomluke

[superbloomluke]

Luke: I hope I’m living up to your standards 🥺

Ashton: what? Why wouldn’t you be?

Luke: I just don’t want someone with a bigger ass to walk by and you leave me for them

Ashton: well, you’re in luck

Luke: what?

Ashton: because I’ve never seen another person with a bigger ass than you

Luke: yay!! *walks away*

Calum: really?

Ashton: I can’t tell him the truth, Cal

Calum: you’re the biggest ass here

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[superbloomluke]

Ashton: it’s giving model

Luke:

Ashton: it’s giving people’s princess

Luke:

Ashton: it’s giving all my hopes and dreams but also sexy and hot as fuck

Luke:

Ashton: it’s giving marry me please

Luke: all I did was show you a picture of myself

Ashton: exactly.

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[superbloomluke]

Luke: sexy sad

Ashton: wow…thanks

Luke: no, I’m sexy sad

Ashton: I don’t know how to respond to that.

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[superbloomluke]

Michael: so what’s the inspiration behind your new music aesthetic?

Luke: I want vampire rockstar emo girlfriend himbo fashionista chic.

Michael: that’s not a mouthful at all…

Luke: to put in simple terms.

Michael: um…

Ashton: you should’ve seen his Pinterest board.

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[superbloomluke]

Michael: alright, boys… what are our 2024 plans?

Luke: solo music

Ashton: solo music

Calum: I want to release so much stuff that the fandom has a complete meltdown.

Luke:

Ashton:

Michael: oh.

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[superbloomluke]

Luke: happy CALentines day!!!

Calum: happy lukeentines!

Luke: that doesn’t work…

Calum: yeah, I hear that

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[superbloomluke]

Luke: what are you doing today?

Ashton: I’m going to attempt crushing a watermelon between my thighs

Luke:

Ashton:

Luke: that’s crazy! My plans for the day just cleared up so now I’m totally free to come over and watch you do that!

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[superbloomluke]

Ashton: new music?

Luke:

Ashton: a big tour?

Luke:

Ashton: where were you even getting that information from?

Luke: I was hoping that if I said it out loud, I could manifest it.

Ashton:

Luke:

Ashton: oh, gosh…

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[superbloomluke]

Luke: so I just watched saltburn

Ashton: okay…

Luke: and I just wanted to let you know that I’ve raised my standards

Ashton: oh god.

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[superbloomluke]

Luke: happy birthday, Mike!!

Michael: thanks, Luke!

Luke: I got you something…

Luke: *pulls a real baby out from behind his back*

Michael: what?!

Luke: I got you a baby! You said you wanted one!

Michael: I said I wanted stuff for my baby, not another baby!

Luke: oh…

Michael: I mean, I guess I’ll take it though-

Luke: NO! It’s mine now!

Luke: *storms away*

Michael:

Calum:

Ashton:

Calum: anyway… I got you that pink strap you wanted for the baby’s guitar

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[superbloomluke]

Ashton: why are you crying, Lu?

Luke: it’s so beautiful!

Ashton: what is?

Ashton: *looks at the picture Luke posted of him*

Ashton: you’re calling me beautiful?

Luke: no… the bread

Luke: the bread is so beautiful. I miss that bread.

Ashton: oh…

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[superbloomluke]

Luke: *is staring off into space*

Michael: what’s wrong with him?

Calum: is he sleeping with his eyes open?

Michael: I haven’t seen him move in twenty minutes…

Ashton: don’t worry, guys. He’s just having a thought.

Michael:

Calum:

Luke:

Michael: like, a singular thought?

Ashton: yep.

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[superbloomluke]

Luke: *bent over and between some of the drums in Ashton’s kit*

Luke: help me! I’m stuck!

Michael: oh, Luke. Here, let me help you-

Luke: NO.

Michael: wha?

Luke: help! I’m stuck! Only a really strong drummer can get me out!

Calum: Luke, Ash isn’t here right now. He can’t help you.

Luke: HELP! I NEED A STRONG AND SUPER HOT DRUMMER WITH MOON TATTOOS TO SAVE ME! I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THE HOT AND STRONG DRUMMER THAT SAVES ME!

Ashton: you called?

Calum: you heard that all the way from your dentist appointment?

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[superbloomluke]

Calum: whatever you do, don’t look to your left

Ashton: why not?

Michael: Luke may or may not be deep throating your drumstick

Ashton:

Calum:

Michael:

Ashton: okay, well, now I have to look.

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[superbloomluke]

Calum: Ash, you have something shiny on your cheek

Ashton: hm?

Calum: like glitter or something similar

Michael: did you attempt putting on makeup or something?

Luke: *walks into the room with glitter eyeshadow on*

Ashton:

Calum:

Michael:

Luke:

Ashton: well, I guess now’s a good time to tell you guys…

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[superbloomluke]

Ashton: what’s going on here?

Luke: Calum is counting my toes! Apparently some people have eleven!

Calum: I saw something on twitter about it.

Ashton: I’ve looked at Luke’s feet plenty, Cal. He only has ten.

Michael: Oh my god, Ash! Enough with your weird foot fetish!

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[superbloomluke]

Luke: *breathes*

Ashton: ❤️❤️❤️😍😍🥰🥵🥵😉😏🤩🤩❤️❤️❤️

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