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sunflowersandhoneytea · 14 hours
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I don't know what's happening but it feels like a dam bursting. I'm starting to feel things as deeply as I did years ago. Everything is making me cry these past few days. The smallest things shatter my heart. I never stopped being sensitive but i feel it the way i used to. Like it's overwhelming and i feel things too deeply to function or survive.
I know logically it must be that I'm moving to a village 80 miles away alone and my brain processing that blah blah blah but I don't feel that's it because while I'm constantly thinking about the move, I don't register any big feelings about it except for excitement.
But I suppose I've been under such a state of dissociation since I was 21 that I can't be certain of things like that, especially now that I'm only starting to properly feel feelings again. Obviously I've felt things these past six years but it's felt like my body responding and my brain responding but it feeling like I'm detached by a glass screen. So feeling those things but not truly. And now suddenly everything is back at 100% to the point that it feels like my body has gone back into a super strong dissociation just now because I just couldn't manage with so much pain and feeling. Like I'm dizzy from it rn.
This probably makes no sense but idk. I'm feeling such deep empathy and pain like I did years ago, but I'm also laughing and finding joy in things in a way I was scared I never would again
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sunflowersandhoneytea · 18 hours
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I won't take my meds for one day and I'll be reminded why i was convinced for over a decade that i have bpd
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Every book about PTSD will repeatedly mention how your personality will change after the traumatic event. How this is an indicator that you have the disorder. How this is a universal experience for everyone who suffers from post traumatic stress.
But I never got to have a life before trauma. That person was killed before they were alive. All that remains is a broken shell from where a child was ripped out with violent teeth.
I didn't change from my trauma, because I never existed before it began.
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bisexual 🤝 aroace people
feeling excluded from the wider queer community cuz we're not gay but we're not straight either
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genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
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Turtle Lake, China
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Moving into my new place on the 2nd. I'm so excited 💗💗
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What order do you take pills in?
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I’m way behind on Tumblr. Barely keeping up on tiktok with Butch positivity.
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Hello fellow disabled people of tumblr. I know that 2010s-2020s culture has turned against the notion of asking to speak to a manager. I know that “can I speak to a manager” is the mark of the beast.
And yet. If someone at the front desk is telling you they can’t unlock the elevator. If you get a ticket for parking in a handicapped spot when you have the dmv card. If the door to the big stall won’t close and you’re telling the front desk about it for the third time in as many weeks. If the bus driver won’t give you time to put on your breaks and secure your wheelchair
Ask to speak to their supervisor. Mention he ADA. Drop a reference to “my lawyer.” Make a nuisance of yourself. You have to get used to taking up more space, and that doesn’t just mean physical space. You have rights. You deserve access. You don’t have to just take it to be polite.
You’re allowed to ask to speak to the manager.
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go to this random coordinates generator and say in the tags how you would fare if you were dropped where it generates without warning. i’ll go first i’d be dropped in the middle of the fucking south atlantic ocean and perish
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Look at my Bentley
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