spocktheestallion

[spocktheestallion]

cersei lannister: We are two halves of a whole. You are me, if I were a man. If only I had a cock, instead of this feeble, woman's body... You should have stayed playing in my dresses and I should have picked up a sword of my own

jaime lannister, a guy who has sex with his sister:

[spocktheestallion]

[spocktheestallion]

[spocktheestallion]

THE THING LAY STILL INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2022—)

[spocktheestallion]

recently someone saw my dissected frog tattoo and said “hey ur frog tattoo is really cool but i think it’s open.” i haven’t been able to stop thinking about this for weeks. what did she mean by that. does she think i walked into a tattoo shop like hello can i get one normal frog tattoo. and 2 and a half hours later the tattoo artists goes FUCK. it happened again. it’s fucking open. goddamnit

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you can only reblog this today

[spocktheestallion]

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

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sorry i didn’t explain. arthur’s just too big for that little horse.

if we wanna get into the math of it horses should only be carrying 20% of their body weight. So for example, a smaller fine-boned horse like an arabian that weighs around 900 Ibs on average should not be carrying more than 180 Ibs. arthur is a big man, about 6’2 and if we assume at the beginning of the game when he’s healthy he maintains a lean 200 Ibs, he should not be on a horse under 1,000 Ibs.

That’s also not factoring the weight of the tack (western saddles are heavy as fuck) and all the supplies and weapons he carries with him. so the combined weight of arthur plus his tack plus anything else he’s carrying with him should not exceed 20% of his horses total weight. if we allow 60 Ibs for all the tack, pelts and cargo arthur regularly totes around that’s a total of 260 Ibs, so he really shouldn’t be on a horse under 1300 Ibs

and not everyone sticks strictly to the 20% rule, but arthur’s legs literally swing past that horses stomach

this probably isn’t something someone who’s not around horses could or would spot, but a big man like arthur should not be on a pony. if we’re going by real life horse welfare rules, i think the raven black shire he gets from hosea or the hungarian halfbred would be the perfect horse for him. but this is a video game and the raven black shire and hungarian halfbred just don’t go as fast and i can’t outrun o’driscolls on them. but if i saw a man arthur’s size on a little horse like the white arabian in real life i would have some Things to say.

tldr he just too damn big for that lil horse

the absolute dilemma of loving rdr2 but also being a horse person so it’s painful to watch arthur ride the white arabian despite it being the best horse in the game

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #red dead redemption #rdr #arthur morgan

[spocktheestallion]

the absolute dilemma of loving rdr2 but also being a horse person so it’s painful to watch arthur ride the white arabian despite it being the best horse in the game

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #rdr2 arthur #arthur morgan #arthur my beloved

[spocktheestallion]

original sin (insider trading)

[spocktheestallion]

fire and blood establishing that every single baratheon is a frat bro gigachad asshole and robert is just made in the image of his forefathers while stannis is an extreme weirdo outlier who just happened to get the recessive visenyistical maekarpilled targaryen second son stoicism disorder makes their entire dynamic so fucking funny in hindsight

[spocktheestallion]

jaheira canonically being a deadbeat mother 27 payments behind on child support who when faced with the apocalypse sent one kid a cryptic seven word text that was like “sorry. get out” and then didn’t talk to them again because she was busy giving life advice and playing catch with the third bhaalspawn she found in the trash somewhere until the party stumbles on her house and kids entirely by accident is so captivating. what is her problem

[spocktheestallion]

4yo: actually, my dad work for nike

Me: my dad works for dinosaur

4yo: (very skeptic but doesn't have the words to call me out) tell me what... is the... dinosaurs name😑

[spocktheestallion]

[spocktheestallion]

I feel like modern au zuko can drive, is very good at it, has his license, and will get you where you need to go but like. with very dangerous efficiency. he drives like Evel Knievel. he drives like a bat out of hell. he whips the wheel hard as fuck and you will see Jesus even if the drive is from your house to the corner store. his car is used and like 10 years old but she is strong and loyal just like her master and wont break down for anything. she'll tear over anything in her path. zuko has given iroh so many mini heart attacks while driving him around (<- because iroh does NOT have his license). worst of all is that zuko does NOT talk or road rage ever when he drives he's DEAD SILENT and simply blasts the radio. and its always either terrifying Chinese opera or crazy shit like Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

[spocktheestallion]

can I interest you in some gay ancient roman matronae on this idea of march

[spocktheestallion]

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