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spitandfroth · 3 years
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I Love 2 People
I am in a poly relationship.
I have Darling R, my lifelong partner & is the glue that holds me together. I also have Daddy. Who although we hope to be long term is essentially a very close friendship with sex.
I should also tell you I have multiple mental health problems, the one of interest in this is my borderline personality disorder. I have suffered from mental problems for most of my life. It affects everything in my life. It also can be linked to multiple personality traits. I have cycles of depression and manic that seem to be in 5-year cycles. Tina was created in a manic period. She was free of my troubles and has her own set of rules, behaviour, look, everything day to day I am not. She is my escape and when I'm in a manic episode she rears her head and one of the glorious side effects of my mania is that I get super sexualised and want cock lol
Darling R and I met in a previous cycle of mania as tina. We met on Twitter after him sending some messages about a gig I was going to. He was very nice and polite, patient and caring. We spoke for about a month before I met him at Paddington station. He greeted me at the gate with the best hug I had ever had, I fell in love with him at that moment. We sat in the pub at the station, had some drinks and food. I loved him. A few weeks later we met in Newcastle for the weekend. I fell ill after having a dodgy pint and spent the first night puking and shitting, generally very unsexy! He cared for me that night, I still said it was ok to go out to see his mates, I am a good wife :P He bought me makeup and perfume as presents. The make-up was a bright red lipstick, a bright red nail polish by Revlon & a bottle of Burberry weekend. I always have a bottle now.
We have been through some heavy shit together and still held it together as a couple. Even right now we test our relationship. I moved to Oxfordshire to care for my nan as she had dementia. Eventually, she needed to go in a care home and I needed somewhere else to live. It was decided I would stay here as it had been a long time since I had lived close to my family and my dad had become reliant on me for support. 3 years we’ve not lived together. I miss him constantly. Don't miss his snoring though! He is my world. He completely accepts me and tries to make me spread my wings. He is the reason I am alive, he is why my life is not in the shitter, he just does everything he can to keep me happy. The man is an angel from above. He loves me through and through. I don’t know why, I'm a fucking mess most of the time!
So, 8 years later we are still very happy, still in love and stronger than ever.
So, me and Darling R had a grown-up discussion. We needed to as I didn’t like the way I was fucking strangers before, it was so empty and devoid of warmth. I suggested that I would get someone regular in a fuck buddy arrangement. I added I was looking for a daddy to my profile and it’d been up ages and no one was taking my fancy.
Daddy left some nice comments and he sent a message and well really quickly got each other and was so nice to talk to someone like a normal person and get the dirty chat lol I liked his cock and he knows this, I wasn’t too keen on the face pics :/ (sorry!). After about 2 months we met, I fancied him straight away, I believe the feeling was mutual. We had a bit of a coke session and played a bit. It was good! I started seeing him every 1-2 weeks for our naughty nights!
Now, I'm not an easy person to be in any sort of relationship with. I am emotional, to say the least, I constantly think I'm not worthy of their time, that I'm not attractive, even after 8 years I think Darling R is going to get rid of me! I have abandonment dreams which are truly horrible. So I am insecure, can be randomly in a bad mood & just a bit weird. However, I love passionately, I am loyal, I am completely open, I enjoy pleasing people, I want to be the reason you smile, You need to be special and have some time to talk to me. I am mega anxious most of the time too. R texts all day, every day. We must have hit a million texts in 8 years lol We tell each other everything. It's very clear we should be together.
Darling R and I will be moving together in the next 5 years. He retires & we are going to buy a house up north. We have plans, I want another dog, chickens and a pig. Also, I still can’t really get over it, don't think I ever will. Rob considers me his wife and I see him as my husband, he made sure the pension goes to me and when we buy the house I will have my name on the deeds too. I never thought that far into my future. R is making sure I am ok when he’s gone. Mental.
So I have my lifelong partner & Daddy.
Daddy is not my boyfriend, not in a conventional sense at least. We are just very in tune with each other, we have such a wonderful friendship. I make him smile all the time when I text him random things and he looks at me in a way only people who care do. He’s put up with a few tantrums too and wobbly moments, he took them in his stride and was supportive. He makes time for me regularly even though he should/could be working. He texts me lovely things and calls me his angel. It is lovely having a pet name. He means it too, which is sweet.
We've had our issues. He's accepted me and I have accepted him. It's nice to be respected and understood. He knew what the score was before we met and it is what he wanted too. He provides something I can’t really put my finger on but my jigsaw feels complete right now.
This is my first proper poly relationship and to be honest, I am finding my own way somewhat. However, I find it very easy. It feels right to me. I feel complete and I have achieved something I always wanted, right from my teens.
So, How does it work sexually?
Darling R is a cuckold & is generally submissive. Daddy is a soft Dom. I switch between the two.
With Darling R our sex life is quite broad. He only has a small cock but it's functional and gets me wet. So we have full sex still but he likes a lot of anal training and being milked. He also is turned on by me being satisfied by other men. So we just mix it up. He does like to see me ruined first hand too.
And with Daddy it’s me being submissive, I become Daddy’s Angel. So I like to please him, I love sucking him off, my hand job technique isn’t perfect but my oral skills are second to none! We mainly concentrate on foreplay. I enjoy watching him wank while I smoke. He enjoys spreading my pussy and playing with my tits. Very happy sexually with Daddy.
Will they meet?
No, probably not. It might happen but I think they are exclusive relationships rather than we all live in one house sort of thing. R is up for it if Daddy wants to eventually though.
So how does it work emotionally?
Firstly love is abundant and is not limited. I can and do love a lot of people.
Darling R and I have a very special, close and loving relationship. I am completely in love with him and I love him without limitation. I am constantly loving him more! So nothing or no one could replace his love. He understands I am different. He has accepted the whole poly thing really well. We have had moments of jealousy and being a little bitter but as time has gone he has accepted that Daddy is part of our lives now and that I do have very strong feelings for him. Takes a special man to take that on. So our love is unbreakable.
Mine and Daddy’s relationship is very close and I have to say I do love him, no way in the same abundance as Darling R but I do care a lot about him and I want him to be happy, feel cared about and shown that he is worthy of being loved. We get each other, he fills the little gaps where Darling R doesn't or can't get what I need. We have a lot of fun and our friendship is so nice to have. I have really missed having a close friend.
So how does that work within my head?
I find it very easy to keep the 2 love streams separate and satisfy them both. I can create love from very little and I appreciate being shown love. I thrive when loved and I can see the positive impact love has on them both. I’ve not once confused my feelings, felt I was giving one of them any less than they deserved.
It just works in my head and it makes me feel complete. I have a lot of time on my hands so I can maintain both relationships with ease.
I’ve wanted 2 partners for a long time. They needed to be 2 very different people too. My heart is full and I feel like all my bits are glued together. I am accepted as me and they both are accepted by me. Acceptance is very important to me, I'm a weird and wonderful person that requires a lot of it.
It just works for me. It feels so right.
What about the future?
Well, I don’t think we will all be living under roof but both relationships are long term and when I move, well who knows but I am sure Daddy and I will still be in contact and see each other.
I have come on in leaps and bounds in the last 6 months. I am more like how I was before the big breakdown 5 years ago. There have been times when it's been a bit tough but we seem to be settled now and happy.
I am a lucky girl! They are lucky to have me though ;)
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spitandfroth · 3 years
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A beautiful song <3 
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Nature 
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1999
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More random snaps from urbexing
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Some random snaps from my urbexing
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Strangeways Prison, Manchester UK
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Manchester, UK
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Random building near Buxton, UK.
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Watching Over You
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The mortuary at High Royds asylum close to Bradford, UK. 
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Halls & Floors
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Take Your Meds
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The Sunny Room
High Royds Asylum (Was a long time ago and can’t quite remember!)
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In The Shower Boys! 
A school in Manchester
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Fairmile Asylum 
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