spinsomnia

[spinsomnia]

so birthday boy is gonna be on TV in November and it's been nominated for BAFTA qualifying festivals 😭

#hold up im gonna cry #its taken so long for this to come out and be seen #AND NOW IT IS???? #i remember being so happy and working so hard #i was a baby trans back then😭 #honestly watching it and seeing how i used to be made me so emotional bcs i think ive come so far #film #bdayboyfilm #birthday boy #lgbt film #ftm #trans #lgbtq #trans film #lgbt #trans actor #transgender #acting

[spinsomnia]

is it... is it seb...

IT IS SEB

#GOOD EVENING IT IS I #hey queen #ur an icon

[spinsomnia]

I counted and this year I have done over seventy auditions and I got the roles for two of them

#i am now so used to rejection that i am completely dead inside #but at least google hired me for an ad i guess lol #dont stop trying tho #i love my career too much to stop trying #personal

[spinsomnia]

Poetry recs? Like your absolute absolute favourites

Okay these are the ones that made me die a little

“all people are driven to the point of eating their gods” 

“if I love you / is that a fact or a weapon?”

“the kingdom of god is within you because you ate it”

“the blood in your mouth – I wish it was mine”

“his mouth is heaven, his kisses falling over me like stars”

“I am singing now while rome burns”

“that corpse you planted last year in your garden,  has it begun to sprout? will it bloom this year?”

“so the gods sank to human shape with longing”

“those imperial, disimpassion’d eyes”

“this beautiful speed will be the end of us.  those are stars in our teeth.”

“if love wants you, if you’ve been melted into stars”

“out of the ash I rise with my red hair / and I eat men like air”

“your body hurts me as the world hurts god”

“lessons on loving a prophet”

“and I, infinitesimal being, drunk with the great starry void”

“tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine”

“to love a prophet is to become their desert”

“the void rushing up to greet us in the absence of god”

[spinsomnia]

My best friend is researching kinks/asexual people randomly and they go “okay I understand it but it’s definitely the opposite end of the ace spectrum from you” and I’m just sitting here like 👀😳 yeahhhh -the anon from earlier

there's literally no right or wrong way to feel when it comes to kink (except regarding consent of course) and I think people get WAAAAAY too caught up in the expectations/sexual stereotyping that comes with it!! There will always be a place for you and your interests, don't let anyone tell you it isn't real just because you're ace

#anonymous

[spinsomnia]

hey guys have some stills from Birthday Boy ❤

#film #lgbtq #lgbt film #trans #trans film #ftm

[spinsomnia]

I'm going to a small premiere for birthday boy on Thursday 😳 so nervous to finally watch it a year and a half after it was made!!

#personal #birthday boy #trans film #ftm #LGBTQ #LGBTQ film

[spinsomnia]

Embarrassing news: in this the year of our lord, 2021, I have discovered that I kin Keith Kogane (no I haven’t rewatched the show or even seen season 8 I purely mean fanon Keith) -🥑

I recently saw someone say that the mullet trend didn't start in 2020 quarantine. It started with Keith Kogane.

I havent been the same since

#ur not alone amigo #avo #anonymous

[spinsomnia]

Not me sending you an anonymous message like in the old days bc I need to get something off my chest but I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about it 🙃🤪

I’ve identified as asexual for a long time and I still feel like it’s true but lately I’ve been feeling (for lack of a better term) kinky? Like I don’t want to have sex but do I want someone to slam me into a wall or yank me down by my choker? Absolutely. I have no clue what to do with this information but I needed to share it with someone

HEY!! I am so beyond glad you felt like this was a safe space to share this also I highkey miss the old days ya know😂😭

You know what tho?? Spicy take (not really) but you can of course be asexual and kinky at the same time. So much of kink culture is centred around consent, validation, and communication, and that in itself is appealing enough on its own WITHOUT the sex part. I genuinely believe so much of it is exploring feelings we wouldn't usually get to on a day to day basis but in a safe and controlled environment where you know you can stop at any time.

You are completely allowed to be asexual and kinky dont let anyone tell you otherwise 💕

#this felt like a ramble but I TRULY BELIEVE IT #it's such an interesting topic #~i mean kinks and sexuality~ #but you are obviously of course completely valid x #anonymous

[spinsomnia]

this is so cute I-

literally every single one of my friends are absolutely gorgeous I don't know how this is possible. what the hell. y'all are freaking stunning.

#🥺🥺 #wasnt ready for those feelings!!!! #have every single hug in my body x #❤

[spinsomnia]

literally every single one of my friends are absolutely gorgeous I don't know how this is possible. what the hell. y'all are freaking stunning.

#how #how is this possible #i am obsessed with all of you #❤

[spinsomnia]

Just submitted an audition tape with the knowledge that Steven Spielberg might actually see my face. What timeline are we living in

#this is not a flex i looked terrible today #but thats because i spent the whole night awake in petrified fear for this audition #🤪 #we can only do our best tho right?

[spinsomnia]

i basically assume that people don’t like me unless they explicitly tell me they like me and then periodically remind me

[spinsomnia]

I get it. you don’t miss the bad takes and discourse but you miss the sense of community. anyway, when is your film coming out? I haven’t seen updates in a while

oh god I genuinely don't know when this question was asked im so sorry!! I honestly wish I knew more about the bday boy film release date 😭 I know they had massive trouble editing it thanks to all the lockdowns/quarantines and about 2 weeks ago they were 99% done finishing it (their words i promise you) so im HOPING soon🙌

Its hilarious to me because I was 21 when we filmed that and now im 23. This pandemic has stolen so much time 😅

#anon #thanks for asking this :) #i wish i could tell you more honestly! #i will update soon tho #also yes i miss the sense of community so so much #the discourse not so much #im sure we can all relate #i also recognize how toxic i was in fandom culture back then #legit i was nowhere near the worst but still :/ #i feel like theres probably a lot of things i said/reblogged which were in someway toxic or harmful and i wish i could apologize for it all #its a good thing that blog was deleted tbh

[spinsomnia]

I've now had 2 Netflix auditions and tomorrow I audition for the lead in a Steven Spielberg movie. I genuinely do not know what to make of this energy. I feel too unimportant for this lol

[spinsomnia]

I will now unashamedly be posting about whatever I want on here❤

#i was so scared to post things on sites where my name is public etc bcs my agent managed to find me everywhere but like #i have decided i simply do not care anymore #(also i am firing my agent soon lol) #i lowkey am just...so disisllusioned and mad at the acting industry #not to rant in the tags but my identity has been treated as nothing more than a product for the better part of a year and i honestly hate it

[spinsomnia]

People will say “write what you know!” But I know so little