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sortumavaara · 24 days
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I present. One of my favorite videos of all time.
(English translation)
I’m in the park with Henkka- oh look a hedgehog
Had some pizza with the guys- oh look a hedgehog
Gonna get this trash out of the way- hey sorry hedgehog?
My shoelaces are a bit tight- oh look a hedgehog
You have any beers- oh look a hedgehog
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sortumavaara · 1 month
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Ok but imagine the Noldor trying to have a nice banquet after the entire Finwean Fam has been therapized and released from Mandos. Except Eonwë is the one announcing the names and titles as people arrive (it’s supposed to be a sign of goodwill from the Valor).
All goes well (except when he announces to the entire room that “Fingon Findékano Astaldo Nolofiniwion, Prince of The Noldor and Husband of Maedhros Neylafinwë Maitimo Feanorian” has arrived. In his defense, Eonwë didn’t know secret marriages could last almost four ages). But the Real Drama starts when Elrond arrives.
When Elrond arrives; Eonwë looks at the Peredhel in the entranceway, looks at his magic Scroll of Heritage-Information, and there is a long moment of silence where Eonwë contemplates if he really wants to spend 5 whole minutes announcing Elrond’s heritages.
Eonwë, in the end, decides to take a shortcut. Cuz how wrong could it go? As such, he announced to the Finwean Fam, several courtiers, several politicians, and to the face of Finwe’s actual children that “Elrond, Lord of Imladris Remade, Descendant of Finwë Noldoran and Elwë Singollo, and [Insert Celebrian’s Introduction] has arrived.”
Speculations rise, and whispers are everywhere about what the hell “Descendant of Finwë and Elwë” could mean. (A lovechild, somebody says once jokingly).
Elrond was expecting Earendilion, Neylafinwion, or Kanafinwion, even Peredhel. He was not expecting the first kings of the Noldor and Sindar themselves to be named.
Anyway, the worst part is that because of Mixed Ancestry, Elrond actually does look like a combination of Finwë and Elwë. The lovechild rumors grow.
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sortumavaara · 2 months
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Tolkine Pinup Calendar l Masterlist 2024
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Download the pinup calendar here!!
Masterlist:
January: Gandalf Big Naturals by @ye3honk (Twitter) for @bellejolras
February: Loveshot by @8thparadox for @the-girl-with-the-algebra-book
March: Rootin' Tootin' Cowgirl by @crowrelli for @the-girl-with-the-algebra-book and @bellejolras
April: Mushroom picking by @ela-draws (Instagram) for @rosasynstylae
May: Peepers by @sleepysandwichguy (Instagram) for @blairsanne
June: Pride and Prejudice by @crowrelli for @middleearthpixie Companion Fic: Second Time Around
July: Just Beachy by @fishing4stars (DeviantArt) for @fishing4stars (AO3) Companion Fic: Just Beachy
August: The multiplicity of Bilbo Baggins by @estethell (Instagram) (ko-fi) for @sunnyrosewritesstuff
September: Caught In The Gate by @peolwiffe (Twitter) for @rosasynstylae
October: Boromir on horse by @ye3honk (Twitter) for @middleearthpixie Companion Fic: The Woods
November: Splash by @bloodwingblackbird (AO3) for @rosasynstylae
December: Indoor Picnic by @metztlilua (Ko-Fi) (AO3) for @the-girl-with-the-algebra-book, @rosasynstylae and @frosticenow
AO3 collection for the event
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sortumavaara · 3 months
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Tolkien Pinup calendar 2024 1/2
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"A study in flesh and feathers", Thingol/Melian
Link for the fic based on this -> X by @i-did-not-mean-to
Link for full pic -> X
@tolkienpinupcalendar
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sortumavaara · 3 months
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Tolkien pinup calendar 2024 2/2
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"the Taming", Glorestor (I'm keeping it alive even if it kills me)
link to full -> X
@tolkienpinupcalendar
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sortumavaara · 4 months
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Merestor teacup (bonus content for S&D 2023)
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sortumavaara · 4 months
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DSA/ the one where they ruin a lot of furniture with wine and other things
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3/3 of my 2023 scribbles & drabbles NSFW submissions @fall-for-tolkien
full under cut:
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uncensored link -> X
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sortumavaara · 4 months
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Scribbles & Drabbles 2023 In Memoriam arts 2,3,4 & 5
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Ereinion Gil-Galad has a bad day
It's the Barbie meme but it's Glorestor
another sassy Erestor and Glorfindel encounter
Elrond gets typhoid fever and has to be looked after
@fall-for-tolkien
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sortumavaara · 4 months
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Arts 1/5 for scribbles & drabbles 2023 In Memoriam gallery. This one is referred to as 'full ham'. Meaning I went full ham while making it. It was originally inspired by the no longer with us Keiliss (who never ended up seeing it) and was intended as a gift for her. I suppose this is a good chance as any to post it (even if it is old now).
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sortumavaara · 5 months
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Maybe I did forget to update this almost 2 weeks ago. But alas, it is here now.
Kinktober2023 masterlist (tolkien edition): Now complete
My NSFW arts list - so if you happen to be young or sensitive, consider scrolling right past uwu
@tolkienpinupcalendar
list of prompts and links below
I used @cilil 's prompt list (shh I know the full one is more comprehensive, but I made choices).
Art features mostly m/m.
This is my magnum opus of Dead Doves, consider yourselves warned. Actual warnings include but are not limited to; monsterfucking, noncon, osha violations and rude words.
Full work; LINK
And for those who actually care to pick and choose:
Virginity; elf/elf; link
Bondage; Ungoliant/elf; link
Intercrural sex & Wings; Manwe/elf; link
Incubus; Turin/Beleg; link
Temperature play; Mahtan; link
Knotting; Carcharoth/Mablung; link
Dirty talk & Lingerie; Pengolodh; link
Voyeurism; Elladan & Elrohir + couple; link
Pseudo(incest) & Torture, Fingon(actually Sauron)/Maedhros; link
Orgy, Lindir; link
Námo/Fëanor, Size Difference; link
Breath play & Humiliation, Caranthir; link
Massages, Argon/Finarfin/Amras; link
Authority kink & Oral, Turgon/Pengolodh; link
Somnophilia, OC / OC; link
Fingering & Aphrodisiacs, Gildor + viewers; link
Bloodplay, Balrog/elf; link
Praise kink (and ABO in notes), Glorfindel/Elrond/Erestor; link
Telepathy, Celeborn/Galadriel; link
Pegging (kinda, it's 2 dick girls), Miriel/Finwe/Indis; link
Clothed sex/Blindfold, Argon/Finarfin/Amras; link
Electrostimulation, Curufin, link
Cock warming, Turgon/Ecthelion, link
Hand kink, Fingon/Maehdros, link
Daddy kink, Fingolfin/Fingon, link
Hate fucking, Morgoth/Fëanor, link
Gloryhole & Breeding kink, Celegorm, link
Boots, Aragorn/Faramir, link
Public sex, Glorfindel/Erestor, link
Tentacles, Ulmo/elves, link
Monsterfucking & Hypnosis, Crablor/elf, link
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sortumavaara · 5 months
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Updated for week 3
Kinktober2023 masterlist (tolkien edition): weeks 1, 2 & 3
My NSFW arts list - so if you happen to be young or sensitive, consider scrolling right past uwu
@tolkienpinupcalendar
list of prompts and links below
I used @cilil 's prompt list (shh I know the full one is more comprehensive, but I made choices).
Art features mostly m/m.
This is my magnum opus of Dead Doves, consider yourselves warned. Actual warnings include but are not limited to; monsterfucking, noncon, osha violations and rude words.
Full work; LINK
And for those who actually care to pick and choose:
Virginity; elf/elf; link
Bondage; Ungoliant/elf; link
Intercrural sex & Wings; Manwe/elf; link
Incubus; Turin/Beleg; link
Temperature play; Mahtan; link
Knotting; Carcharoth/Mablung; link
Dirty talk & Lingerie; Pengolodh; link
Voyeurism; Elladan & Elrohir + couple; link
Pseudo(incest) & Torture, Fingon(actually Sauron)/Maedhros; link
Orgy, Lindir; link
Námo/Fëanor, Size Difference; link
Breath play & Humiliation, Caranthir; link
Massages, Argon/Finarfin/Amras; link
Authority kink & Oral, Turgon/Pengolodh; link
Somnophilia, OC / OC; link
Fingering & Aphrodisiacs, Gildor + viewers; link
Bloodplay, Balrog/elf; link
Praise kink (and ABO in notes), Glorfindel/Elrond/Erestor; link
Telepathy, Celeborn/Galadriel; link
Pegging (kinda, it's 2 dick girls), Miriel/Finwe/Indis; link
Clothed sex/Blindfold, Argon/Finarfin/Amras; link
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sortumavaara · 5 months
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AO3 Top Relationships Bracket - FINALS
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This poll is a celebration of fandom history; we're aware that there are certain issues with many of the listed pairings and sources, but they are a part of that history. Please do not take this as an endorsement, and refrain from harassment.
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sortumavaara · 5 months
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AO3 Top Relationships Bracket - THIRD PLACE
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This poll is a celebration of fandom history; we're aware that there are certain issues with many of the listed pairings and sources, but they are a part of that history. Please do not take this as an endorsement, and refrain from harassment.
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sortumavaara · 6 months
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Now updated with 2nd week
Kinktober2023 masterlist (tolkien edition): weeks 1 & 2
My NSFW arts list - so if you happen to be young or sensitive, consider scrolling right past uwu
@tolkienpinupcalendar
list of prompts and links below
I used @cilil 's prompt list (shh I know the full one is more comprehensive, but I made choices).
Art features mostly m/m.
This is my magnum opus of Dead Doves, consider yourselves warned. Actual warnings include but are not limited to; monsterfucking, noncon, osha violations and rude words.
Full work; LINK
And for those who actually care to pick and choose:
Virginity; elf/elf; link
Bondage; Ungoliant/elf; link
Intercrural sex & Wings; Manwe/elf; link
Incubus; Turin/Beleg; link
Temperature play; Mahtan; link
Knotting; Carcharoth/Mablung; link
Dirty talk & Lingerie; Pengolodh; link
Voyeurism; Elladan & Elrohir + couple; link
Pseudo(incest) & Torture, Fingon(actually Sauron)/Maedhros; link
Orgy, Lindir; link
Námo/Fëanor, Size Difference; link
Breath play & Humiliation, Caranthir; link
Massages, Argon/Finarfin/Amras; link
Authority kink & Oral, Turgon/Pengolodh; link
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sortumavaara · 6 months
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Spirk deserves to live long and prosper.
AO3 Top Relationships Bracket- Semifinals
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This poll is a celebration of fandom history; we're aware that there are certain issues with many of the listed pairings and sources, but they are a part of that history. Please do not take this as an endorsement, and refrain from harassment.
5K notes · View notes
sortumavaara · 6 months
Text
Kinktober2023 masterlist (tolkien edition): Now complete
My NSFW arts list - so if you happen to be young or sensitive, consider scrolling right past uwu
@tolkienpinupcalendar
list of prompts and links below
I used @cilil 's prompt list (shh I know the full one is more comprehensive, but I made choices).
Art features mostly m/m.
This is my magnum opus of Dead Doves, consider yourselves warned. Actual warnings include but are not limited to; monsterfucking, noncon, osha violations and rude words.
Full work; LINK
And for those who actually care to pick and choose:
Virginity; elf/elf; link
Bondage; Ungoliant/elf; link
Intercrural sex & Wings; Manwe/elf; link
Incubus; Turin/Beleg; link
Temperature play; Mahtan; link
Knotting; Carcharoth/Mablung; link
Dirty talk & Lingerie; Pengolodh; link
Voyeurism; Elladan & Elrohir + couple; link
Pseudo(incest) & Torture, Fingon(actually Sauron)/Maedhros; link
Orgy, Lindir; link
Námo/Fëanor, Size Difference; link
Breath play & Humiliation, Caranthir; link
Massages, Argon/Finarfin/Amras; link
Authority kink & Oral, Turgon/Pengolodh; link
Somnophilia, OC / OC; link
Fingering & Aphrodisiacs, Gildor + viewers; link
Bloodplay, Balrog/elf; link
Praise kink (and ABO in notes), Glorfindel/Elrond/Erestor; link
Telepathy, Celeborn/Galadriel; link
Pegging (kinda, it's 2 dick girls), Miriel/Finwe/Indis; link
Clothed sex/Blindfold, Argon/Finarfin/Amras; link
Electrostimulation, Curufin, link
Cock warming, Turgon/Ecthelion, link
Hand kink, Fingon/Maehdros, link
Daddy kink, Fingolfin/Fingon, link
Hate fucking, Morgoth/Fëanor, link
Gloryhole & Breeding kink, Celegorm, link
Boots, Aragorn/Faramir, link
Public sex, Glorfindel/Erestor, link
Tentacles, Ulmo/elves, link
Monsterfucking & Hypnosis, Crablor/elf, link
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sortumavaara · 6 months
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YOU THERE! RECENT FOLLOWER WITH NO PROFILE PICTURE. CAN YOU PASS THE TURING TEST
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