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the cashier at barnes & noble just gave me this duck at checkout and they said “i give these to children and people with a certain vibe.”

floored to know something about me aligns with this duck

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most important thing to remember about being a woman is if youre married you have to go under the covers with your husband and laugh cutely and play wrestle so when you die to progress the narrative he can remember it in slow motion montages

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happy junior day everyone

#happy 4/20

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Picture this. Peter knows that pumpkin bombs are either

Flying knives

Grenades

Vaporizing grenades

And they're all identical.

He still swung that back around and decided whatever happened was between Harry and God

#lmaooooo #spiderman 3

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Having anotheg 'gork we have got to get out of bed faster then this' morning

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there is milk in girls

#raaaah beetle uprising

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why is my boop o meter destiel confessing to me lol

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noo I missed booping people back ... boops you all in spirit

#I say smth #logged off for the day too early 💔

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do you love the color of the sky

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booping someone numerous times when they only booped you once feels like this

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nevermind booping is great live laugh boop

I thought they were giving us a little tamagotchi what is this

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#friendship!!!!

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on april fools i click on every rickroll i see no matter how obvious it is, it just feels like a cultural activity that requires my participation. as a citizen of the internet in good standing it is both my honor and a privilege to hear those opening notes and go "OH COME ON" but with the pure joy of childhood in my heart. imagine going through a whole april 1 without seeing rick astley.

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I thought they were giving us a little tamagotchi what is this

#I say smth

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there are a lot more abjectly harmful and meanspirited april fool's jokes out there but the one i personally find most annoying is when american game devs pretend that they're going to make a visual novel spinoff of their game because they can't imagine making visual novels in earnest

#snapcube voice Now I know that sounds bad