sol-liloquy

[sol-liloquy]

I’ll write this here because we don’t talk. Because I’m scared to talk to you. Because I don’t want to.

That day on the bus to New York, I remember you were telling me about your family. And you just went on and on. I became dizzy and told you I’ll listen with mu eyes closed but I fell asleep.

The same trip I remember reading my poems to you. You shared some poems you’ve written, too. You are only one of two people I’ve read most to; the other one, I was drunk. I still can’t believe I shared them to you wholeheartedly, and sober.

When we came back from the U.S.A., we were both jet-lagged and whenever I’d be online in the early morning hours, and you happened to be online too, you’d remind me to eat.

Whenever I’d see you in that very last week we were talking, you’d always make sure to walk me home. And it bothered me. Not in a bad way, but just because I was never used to it. I told you this and you just said “Masanay ka na.” like it was something you’d be doing for a long time.

When I shared a link about something I thought you’d like and you just shut me down. I don’t know what I did, what I said, I don’t know why you aren’t talking to me.

But I miss you. Whatever it is I did, I’m sorry. But it’s me. I wouldn’t say this to your face or tell you online. Maybe I want to keep things this way. Maybe I’m too scared to talk to you. But maybe because ...just maybe, I don’t want to.

[sol-liloquy]

Seeing you? It was like being exhumed All these ancient feelings I thought were gone Resurrected, alive again. All those days, I would only hear The incessant tick tock My heart beating painfully As my head throbbed with thoughts of you I worked so hard To forget you To get you out of my system But seeing you again Woke me up

#love #heartbreak #feelings #poetry #poem #spilledink

[sol-liloquy]

He was sitting down with

his head in his hands,

on that bench where we used to

laugh at life’s crazy moments

As I walked closer,

he looked at me

with the saddest eyes

devastation coursing violently

through his

beautiful chocolate orbs

At that moment, I knew

I knew I couldn’t be the shoulder

he needed to lean on

I couldn’t be the pair of arms

to embrace him in comfort

I couldn’t stop his lips from bleeding

or his eyes from tearing up

i couldnt heal his injured wrists

when mine were bandaged as well.

(2016)

#internationalpoetryday #poem #poetry #badpoetry #poemsontumblr #poetsontumblr #writings #writingsontumblr

[sol-liloquy]

To any sane person it would seem that sorrow is to be left for dead. But sorrow is an addiction, too. It understands. It puts these words In your skin and you forget. It is all you have. Escape it, and there will be no one left to feed you. Escape it, and you will find that that which was once joy no longer smiles back at you.

#poetry #poem #depression

[sol-liloquy]

your fingertips find me my skin turns to fire at your very touch your voice makes my ears hear music and your smile your smile destroys me

#hi #poetry #badpoetry

[sol-liloquy]

Why does she hate mornings? Is it that she’s too lazy to get up? Or too scared to feel numb, again. She’s young, she thinks, But is she? Is it the pressure of growing up? or the sadness of friends drifting apart? Is it the expectations the society has set? Or simply just the emptiness she felt inside? What does it take to make her happy? She creates a world of her own, and exist in different lives, In books and films, just to forget. Maybe she should remember, She’s doing fine trying to grow up, She’s trying her best to keep those who are willing to stay, She’s halfway there, she’ll figure things out. It is tempting to die, she said But she tried, she tried to survive, each day she searches for direction, every moment, she craves the sight of some sort of light.

“Trapped” (Thereza Mae Gonzales, 2016)

[sol-liloquy]

how do you like it when i write bad poetry about you? do you smile because you're contained in every word you see? or do you bite your lip cause you're the source of my pain?

#poetry #bad poetry #poem #poetsontumblr

[sol-liloquy]

tell me what the hell is wrong with me? why do i always end up alone despite my best efforts and intentions?

#spilledink #poetry #badpoetry #poem #poetsontumblr #poemsontumblr

[sol-liloquy]

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR AUDACITY TO TELL THE WORLD YOU'RE DAMAGED WHEN ALL THOSE YEARS AGO I CRIED 'TIL MY EYES CLOSED SHUT WHEN YOU LAUGHED AND SAID YOU JUST DIDN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR NERVE TO TELL THE WORLD YOU'RE BROKEN WHEN AFTER EIGHT BLEEDING YEARS I STILL BREAK FOR YOU I STILL FUCKING FEEL FOR YOU I STILL FUCKING LOVE YOU IF YOU TELL ME RIGHT NOW TO COME BACK TO YOUR EMBRACE I WOULD IN A HEARTBEAT BUT I KNOW IT'S NOT MY ARMS YOU WANT I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE BROKEN DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA HOW YOU'VE BROKEN ME??

#fuck you #broken #badpoetry #poem #poetry #poetsontumblr #ugh #fuck this shit #fuck you carl fuck you over and over #spilledink #SPILLEDDRINK

[sol-liloquy]

i am kind of just existing, breathing gently, walking lightly, and i am trying so hard, so very, very hard, not to disturb a thing, but i am always too heavy, too present, leaving a trail everywhere i go, and sometimes i just want to be forgotten. these days, i just want to not be seen.

Farah Gabdon (via wordsnquotes)

[sol-liloquy]

i can't believe how much your voice still makes me shiver. How it makes my mind tremble at just ordinary words.......

[sol-liloquy]

get out of my head i shouldn't be writing about you you aren't worth writing about

[sol-liloquy]

#black out #poetry #black out poetry #spilled ink #poem

[sol-liloquy]

familiar

your kisses taste so familiar your lips are like ones i've known for so long have we not only met tonight? have we met somewhere else before? or have i just tried so hard to forget you, i actually did?

#kisses #poetry #poem #poets on tumblr #poems on tumblr #spilled ink #badpoetry

[sol-liloquy]

lately, i’ve been looking for someone to fill the void you’ve bequeathed me 
 but it is only disappointment i meet

sometimes, i still feel the heat of your body in the space you left on my bed


in your absence, i found that warmth, that comfort without you ever standing up to say

“I have to go”

#i have to go #one night stands #poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #badpoetry #writersontumblr #randomthoughts #poems on the underground #poems on tumblr

[sol-liloquy]

[sol-liloquy]

I wish my mind could conceive all at once the poetry it has about you, just so I could write it all down and just stop thinking of you forever

#thoughts #random #random thoughts