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small-godds · 10 hours
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small-godds · 10 hours
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Sometimes people tell me I'm a good person. I'm not a good person by nature, or by default. I'm a good person because I've decided that it's important to me to act like one, on a daily basis, forever.
My actual nature is that I want power. I want power and I want my life to be easy and I want other people to be forced to be nice to me even if they hate me. I want other people to have to suck up to me, I want to watch people who I know hate me suffer through the indignity of having to suck up to me. I want to hurt people who hurt me. I want all of these things in the same exact deeply recognizable way that a gorilla or a chimpanzee does. I watch those documentaries and I recognize myself, intimately. The fact that I can behave like a good person in spite of that has taken me a long time and a lot of effort to achieve.
What you feel isn't as important for your "goodness" as what you do. And you get good at what you practice. So practice your skills at being polite, pleasant, kind. Practice gently interrupting negative behaviors--whether that's someone's negative behaviors directed towards themselves, or directed towards someone else. The idea that we have to be inherently without sin is such Christian garbage. It's psychological gibberish. We want things! We want everything! That is normal and human and the key is not acting on every bad feeling you have.
I have taken my insatiable desire for power and to manipulate people and I have used it for good. I have learned how to manipulate people into coming to the doctor and taking their blood pressure medication and being honest about their recreational substance use. I have taken my psychology education and I have used it to craft a persona that makes people feel at ease. I go home at the end of the day exhausted, because maintaining a persona for ten hours straight is exhausting, but I do it happy, because I manipulated the people I work with into feeling better and having brighter days. I manipulated my patients into feeling good about their achievements and recognizing where we need to do things differently.
The hard part is that when the mask slips, people find it not just off-putting but deeply upsetting. When I explain things like "I have thought very carefully about how I would conduct a career in domestic terrorism because I would genuinely like to bomb the headquarters of most American insurance companies, but I don't see a way to do it without getting caught and either killed or spending the rest of my life in prison, and at the moment I consider that an unacceptable outcome," people go from "ha ha! my wacky colleague" to "Jesus Christ, I didn't realize there was something actually wrong with you."
Anyway, don't make your kids read the extended works on Machiavelli at twelve, my dad thought he was helping me but all he accomplished was making me sad I'll never be a king.
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small-godds · 13 hours
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small-godds · 13 hours
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transmasc : if you were a girl who pretended go be a wolf as a kid congrats on your transition lol
everyone on this site :
transfem : my cis guy friend reminds me of me before i came out haha
everyone on this site : hey umm ... lets not normalise pressuring gnc men to transition .. ?? youre just bringing back gender essentialism and its really gross tbh . what happened to letting men be feminine ?
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small-godds · 13 hours
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the allergy i am seeing grow up around small talk in any form is troubling to me. do you know how to make friends with people in your physical environment? it typically starts with small talk. do you want to live in community? small talk. do you want to have the type of relationship with your neighbors where you can run over and borrow a battery for your smoke detector when it starts beeping at 10pm? small talk!! do you want leeway from your coworkers when you fuck up something small? you gotta be able to build a relationship and that's small talk, baybeee.
"but i don't need friends and i don't care about community!" okay, lone ranger, what about the people in your community who need you? "but i have social anxiety!" me too, bud! we simply must soldier on. making up lists of questions to ask people helps. and people are predisposed to be generous, i've found. even if you make some kind of mistake, what is this but the natural give and take of human interaction? nobody is perfect.
you were not put on this earth to live by yourself and then die. you need people and people need you. treat those around you with curiosity and generousness of spirit and you will gain so much goodwill in return.
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small-godds · 13 hours
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small-godds · 13 hours
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A lot of people on this website make great points that could be phrased a lot less condescendingly
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small-godds · 13 hours
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every day wake up & remind yourself you are an animal
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small-godds · 13 hours
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old man yaoi's #1 hater
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small-godds · 13 hours
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My 11-year-old couldn't decide what flavor of ramen to make, so I told her to flip a coin. Heads for spicy chicken, tails for beef.
Taking my advice, she flipped a penny, and when it landed on tails she said "Wait! Wait! I did it wrong!"
I told her that she did it right, because the real reason for flipping a coin isn't to let fate decide for you, but because when the coin is in the air, you will suddenly realize what you wanted in the first place.
I'm sure there's a life lesson there somewhere…
But honestly, I have never known her to pass up spicy chicken.
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small-godds · 13 hours
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1 reblog = 1 communism 🙏
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small-godds · 13 hours
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the only reason why ten year old girls are destroying stupidly overpriced products at sephora to make “skincare smoothies” is because they aren’t being given access to a yard with a variety of mud, sticks, rocks, puddles, and old ceramic planters to make potions in. the children yearn for the apothecary
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small-godds · 13 hours
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small-godds · 13 hours
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"No one remembered my birthday-" Well, but did YOU tell anyone it was coming up and you wanted to celebrate it with them?
"I wish someone would see through it when I tell people I'm fine-" Well, but have YOU considered not lying when people ask you how you're doing?
"I am so resentful of my friend because they keep doing this thing that really bothers me-" Well, but have YOU directly communicated that the thing is bothering you?
"I am burning out because my friend keeps expecting me to help them with serious struggles-" Well, but have YOU tried to establish the boundaries you need to feel okay?
"No one ever asks me about this thing I really care about-" Well, but have YOU brought it up yourself?
"I miss my friend but they haven't texted me-" Well, but have YOU been reaching out to them?
Sometimes people are mean, uncaring assholes, in which case you get to be mad. But sometimes you just need to communicate better. Try communication before you assume someone doesn't care!
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small-godds · 13 hours
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BDSM gets a bad rep as like a violent (male) dom pushing the boundaries of a reluctant (female) sub but in my experience it's a lot of subs with wildly elaborate fantasies screaming shit like "PUT MY ASS IN THE CHILI" while a new dom is like "Okay I think, we are reaching yellow for me,"
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small-godds · 13 hours
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I like the expression new-fangled. I don't know what it means for something to be fangled, but I sure as hell know it was recent
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small-godds · 13 hours
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i am going to destroy 2024 with my bare hands. when i wake up on january first, 2024 is going to hear fucking boss music
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