sinfuluser1

[sinfuluser1]

[sinfuluser1]

reblog to drop a car battery on a post below

[sinfuluser1]

the work printer cries out, "no stop, that's too much! youre gonna make me jam!" as i load a full ream into her tray, but it's too late. "see, you can take it. you're doing such a good job for me." i coo into her feeding tray as i begin printing the morning reports. her warning lights turn red as she moans in i assume ecstacy

[sinfuluser1]

[sinfuluser1]

so i went to this kiddie pumpkin patch and i found Him

[sinfuluser1]

i wish you could download mods for movies. i want to watch the thing (1982) but with kurt russel in a baby slut t shirt and camo capris

[sinfuluser1]

also omg want some sad news 😞 so in my family there’s like…..a genetic history of going totally white-haired in your twenties. and guess what finally struck me this year

[sinfuluser1]

Why does this go hard actually

[sinfuluser1]

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

[sinfuluser1]

😭😭😭😭

[sinfuluser1]

THE BANANAS ARE GAY

THESE BANANAS

THE BANANAS IN PAJAMAS ARE GAY

BELATED HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE

[sinfuluser1]

Consider. A human wakes up in a strange medical bay, with an alien doctor standing over them. Turns out their shuttle crashed, and the alien ship only just managed to teleport the, on board in time.

By some miracle, the doctor explains, they escaped with only minor injuries. Some burns, a few scratches and “several small wounds. We’re not sure what caused them.”

“Wounds?”

“Small holes in your ear lobes. Possibly they were old wounds and unrelated to the accident, but either way, our doctors were able to heal them for you. There’s not even any scarring.”

The human pauses. Thinks for a minute. “Wait… you unpierced my ears?!”

[sinfuluser1]

[sinfuluser1]

[sinfuluser1]

[sinfuluser1]

If you fall for a social media prank, do you reblog/pass it on to your followers?

[sinfuluser1]

i hate when youtube food reviewers take a bite out of a burger and hold it right up to the camera where they took a bite. like thanks, looks disgusting, what are you gonna show me next? A Man's Asshole?