simik-actually

[simik-actually]

It’s weird to be here

but it’s weird to be anywhere else

this half happened and half didn’t

and I’m an imposter

of my own life

pretending I’m okay with this

pretending it will be fine, and it doesn’t matter

but it does

and I don’t belong to the future that I built

for myself

the person I am doesn’t belong there anymore

but I have nothing else

and it hurts because time moved on

without me

and I’ve missed so much, and I grieve

the life I didn’t get to live

and I sit in my room again and see

the ghost of me around

in the boards, notes, and posts stuck

still stuck around, from before

#original writing #original poem #my poetry #poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #spilled ink poetry #Thoughts

[simik-actually]

You keep promising

the sun the sky and all of the stars

to me

I’ll bring you the moonshine

you say

But I don’t want them

I just want this moment, nothing else

Promise me this moment

will always be ours

Promise me you’ll try to make it last

even if we both know it can’t

Promise me this memory

Promise me it will always be mine

To cherish

To love

To live

Promise me a world where I don’t have to

Print words onto my skin

Force them in

Just for them to stay

To not be forgotten

Promise me a world where these whispers

won’t ever die down

Where I don’t have to have your words

written on me in black

Just to remember in this life

We were once

Everything.

#poem #poetry #original poem #my poetry #original writing #lgbtq #lgbtq poetry #poets on tumblr #queer poetry #queer poets on tumblr #own voices

[simik-actually]

In another life

If there’s more to the universe

And there’s us somewhere out there

Living a happy life

a better life

I wish them well

Because we didn’t deserve what happened to us

I’m so sorry

to everyone out there

who didn’t deserve what happened to them

And I hope somewhere out there

we’re living a happy life

we’re all living a better life

where the world was kind to us

where the world didn’t keep us apart

and let us make promises

and let us keep those promises

meant for a gentler existence. 

#poetry #poem #original writing #original poem #my poetry #poets on tumblr #Love poem #lgbtq #lgbtq poetry

[simik-actually]

But it never gets better, does it?

It never goes away, not really

and they keep repeating, they say

just keep on pushing forward

through the thick and the thin

it will be worth it

it gets better

but it never really does,

there’s no getting better for some of us

there’s just remission

and it’s better for a while, until

it isn’t

and it’s all back

and there’s never anything else

but remission

there’s nothing else but this

there’s nothing else but us

being three steps ahead of this

and with a single stumble

back down

wishing for life to not be like this

#poem #poetry #my poetry #original poem #poets on tumblr #lgbtq poetry

[simik-actually]

Collateral Damage

you shine so bright

through it all, everything you do

it’s in your eyes, your smile

the way you talk

and I couldn’t help but watch

oh how you shine

and that passion of yours

burns

brighter than I thought possible

and I couldn’t help myself

And in that flame

I let myself burn

and oh how we shined, we burnt

In the wake of your want

The only thing I am

is collateral damage

#poetry #poem #original poem #my poetry #spilled ink poetry #queer poetry #poets on tumblr #lgbtq poetry #writers on tumblr

[simik-actually]

The best of us

are sometimes invisible to the world

the best of us

I swear I try to give the best of us

but then

these years have got the best of us

and now we turned into this

I’d rather be someone giving the best

be with someone who helps show the best of us

even if for a while

even if I don’t have what it takes later on

#poetry #poem #original poem #my poetry #spilled ink #poets on tumblr #queer poetry

[simik-actually]

All we did, all we had

All we were is history

There's a crack on my table

That I don't remember

And it hurts and it makes me cry

Because it's always been there

But it's nothing but history

History is all I have

#poem #original poem #my poetry #poetry #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #my writing

[simik-actually]

reading alone in your room at sunset with your windows open while the wind caresses your skin is probably the closest thing we have to a cure for the human condition

[simik-actually]

One day

You asked me

If a tree falls, and no one's there to hear it

Does it make a sound?

And I didn't know what you meant

Until so long after you're gone

One day

Someone told me

Life is like a drug test

It counts for more if it's seen

I think I understand now

The pain gets so much worse

When there's no one

To witness it all

#poem #original poem #my poetry #poetry #poets on tumblr #writing #spilled ink #my writing

[simik-actually]

I got used to saying that the only thing I'm good at is leaving Picking up my bags and making that step out the door that the only thing I ever did was leave, build something for a while and then walk away

now I realize it's the only thing I know because it's the only thing they've ever taught me Every person I've ever looked up to loved and adored has at some point packed their bags and left whether physically or mentally

I was surprised at how difficult it was for me to hear a goodbye now I realize it's because of all the goodbyes I've heard before The pain adds up with each one

and now it's hard to imagine that anyone will ever stay and the only thing I know that's certain is that someday you'll make the decision to go

#poetry #poets on tumblr #poem #original poem #my poetry #writing #My writing #writeblr #spilled ink poetry #leaving #dont leave me

[simik-actually]

On loving someone who’s ace when you’re hypersexual

I’m literally so in love with you like

Holy fuck.

I’ve spent 8 years of my life feeling like my only value is in sex

Like the only way I can show someone I love them is to fuck them,

And you...

You make me not even want it.

You make me not think it’s necessary.

And I have never felt that before.

It’s fucking terrifying.

Around you, I feel like I’m worth something good

Like I’m something worth saving.

When I tell you I think I could live without sex anymore

I mean only with you.

Only for you.

[simik-actually]

Your songs shine

Listening to your songs

makes me feel like

I can do it too

Like everything will be alright

And I can go at my own pace

And still live the life

I dream of

It’s not running away from me

It’s here

And I’ll live it one day at a time

If you want something

Just keep doing it and you’ll be fine

We’ve got time.

Thank you

#poetry #poets on tumblr #poem #original poem #my poetry #spilled ink poetry #spilled thoughts #writing #we've got time

[simik-actually]

I keep forgetting when these days are, but if you're ace, you're cool

[simik-actually]

[simik-actually]

These words scribbled down across lined pages

feel like memoirs

each on their own

but what do I have to write about

when I've barely known life

when I haven't had time

to live yet?

I've seen heartbreak, heartache, loneliness, sadness, anger and despair

but that's not life, truly

is it?

So what do I have to say about life

if I don't consider my time living yet?

#poetry #poets on tumblr #poem #original writing #original poem #my poetry #spilled ink poetry #heartache #heartbreak

[simik-actually]

When they ask me

Who do I live for

Maybe one day

I can say me

Until then your name slips through my lips

I'm sorry

It's not an easy fate to be

The reason why others keep on hoping

#poem #original poem #my poetry #poetry #poets on tumblr #writing #spilled ink #my writing #spilled ink poetry #love poem #heartbreak #heartache #lgbtq poetry

[simik-actually]

The shoeboxes under my bed

All the times I can't forget

All the pictures I should have thrown away

I can't bring myself to do it

Chapters of my life

That belong to someone else

Everytime

Someone left

I picked up the pieces

Left behind

And put them into neat little stacks

Into a new shoe box underneath my bed

And I can see it in your eyes

So I bought myself some new sneakers

Just in case

Because I can see it in your eyes

This is just another stack of pictures

Waiting to be taken down

And put into another shoe box

Under my bed

The pictures are falling of the wall already

#poem #original poem #my poetry #poetry #poets on tumblr #writing #spilled ink #my writing #spilled ink poetry #heartbreak #heartache #love poem