shmitty

[shmitty]

Honey and hornets

Do you want butterflies or hornets?

The difference that dictates the outcome

Is the

the taste of honey

And

the taste of vinegar

If you give medicine

You get healing

If you give poison

Then destruction is what you'll receive

Either way

Your reap what you sow

-l.a.-

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #honey and hornets

[shmitty]

- the difference in opium and vinegar -

As my brain fights with the difference in opium and vinegar

The heartbreak in the answer is intent

Just like what turns a act into a sin

Just as God asked adman

" Who told you you were naked?"

That understanding the difference is what gets us into trouble

That the moment that he took a bite from that fruit and that juice ran from his cheek and off his chin

His conscience was born

And mire instinct became thought

The scales of justice pulled to and fro between our hearts and mind

And Adam and Eve

Were no longer animal

That's the moment humanity was gained

And his actions were judged within himself and deemed sinful

What God was saying when he asked this question

" Are the birds not naked ?

Are the beast ?

The flowers , trees and rocks ?

When I call their names do they hide from me in shame ?

What of the water ,air and fire ?

Do they sin against me ? "

It's less understood now

That when we started in the garden we were the same no different from the animals or nature that inhabited it

That the snake had come telling eve

You will be as Gods

Not knowing this meant

"You'll be able to judge for yourselves"

That your conscience is your guide

The weight of this in God's heart and sorrow and pain behind this was

He knew the path and timeline down the road

He knew

That once their minds were unlocked there was no going back

That he knew one day their son Cain would kill able

Over a fit of jealousy that came up because Cain himself dubbed his own sacrifice unworthy and that because of this it was no longer a animal attacking an animal for survival

That there was intent and forethought behind all of it

That people would get worse

And time and time again

From Noah, to Abraham and to Moses and on

That man's thoughts, ideas , and intellect would get them in trouble again and again and he'd have to get involved

Until he could come back as Jesus to try and fix this

To teach people to use the curse of your conscience

As a blessing and as a guide

But

If knowledge is the guide then ignorance is what gets you lost

That on relying on others thoughts, ideas and intent

We cast our own feelings to the side

To let influence muddy their pureness

But Jesus knew this

He knew what was happening

And where things would go

This is why In the garden he asked

" If in any way please take this burden away from me "

And also why on the cross he screamed

" Forgive them father they are ignorant"

So god

Heartbroken turns to Adam and says

" Ok you wanted to be like me I guess you got it

You say nudity is wrong then let's make you some clothes"

And the story continues on

I just wander

As Jesus hung from the cross

And begged for a drink because he's mouth was so dry

What was it they soaked into that sponge ?

Was it vinegar?

Or

Was it opium ?

We can only hope the later

But if it was in such a awful cruel point in Jesus life that the sponge was pressed against his face that he tasted the bitterness that after a slight warm familiar sensation washed over him

And I wonder if even in that moment he smiled

And thought

A kind act in a cruel world

I wonder if he thought of the difference in opium and vinegar

I wonder if he thought of the difference of kindness and cruelty

I just wonder

If he thought of intent..........

-l.a.-

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #the difference in opium and vinegar

[shmitty]

Blossoms for blood

I am stuck between seasons

Birth, renewal, new life

Spring is here

But

My heart , my soul and my mind

Are not

They are still frozen

In the cold dead loss of the winter

Though time and the world continues to move forward all around me

I cannot

Bight , vibrant and beautiful

On the inside

I am anything but

I can't enjoy the blossoms

For blood .....

-l.a.-

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #blossoms for blood

[shmitty]

Heavy

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty

[shmitty]

- the in- between -

Driving down the road

I look to my left there are children playing outside

A few seconds later to my right I see tombstones in a graveyard right behind the church

And I thought to myself

How odd

And to me towing this asphalt line between them

At a moment in time

Right on the cusp of spring

That there are literally blossoms amongst the dead gnarled trees

And me in the in between in every way

Me at 37

No longer young but not too old

In my spiritual journey

I may love and guide the living with teachings , thoughts and prayer

But I carry my dead in tradition and and memories and offerings

Seeing these symbols of time produced to me they all represent my past and future

I was once a child in my past newly budding blossoms into this world

And my future

The graves a cold hard symbol of what's to come like the trees stripped Barron from this existence

Yet also

The children are the future of my world what's laid here to guide it

And

My past is like the grave dead and gone and is no longer here

Most Buddhist teachings scream of be here now

In the present

But I ask you how ?

Where does it reside ?

Because even in meditation each breath I take

If you could see the truth

You'd see each one by the passing of each second

Each tick guides me closer to the future

And each Tock devolving me into the past

Crucified on the hands of a clock

But the center is where the heart resides

Its what keeps the clock alive moving

Like me

The space between

Inhale and exhale

Between

Thought and memory

Between

Winter and spring

Between

Life and death

I love for all I've gained

I long for all I've lost

- love addict -

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #the in between

[shmitty]

-sand-

Who knows the intent of the heart and mind ?

Each just another speck just grain of sand in this desert of souls

The winds of change and fate to push and pull us unwilling to where we may go

We can only trust that in this we are guided

Lead along with the best of intent

Yet

Just another fall within fear and faith

Into the hour glass

Each of us just another millisecond

In the stern symbol of time

When will it run out ?

And when it does can I find peace knowing and understanding that I did my best

To connect to the Almighty wind to help gide others to the holy light of the sun ?

Will my speck be known ?

Pure and completey

Like the separation of oil and water

The truth of me untainted by the perception of others

And will that speck be guided to the base of the mountain?

If I can take hope and faith as small as that grain of sand then maybe the universe can seem that small when picking it up to guide ,help, and change it for the better

To one speck to another

On this blue marble

I love you all so so much

Amen

-l.a.-

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #-sand- #i love you all

[shmitty]

For so long I forced myself to swallow my own bitter honesty

And now

I choke

-l.a.-

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #choke

[shmitty]

-Where am I going?-

I could keep moving for the rest of my existence no matter how far I walk eventually this path will just leave me exactly to where I am

Turning back to see my own footprints behind me

Either by the rising Sun

Or the falling snow

The knowledge and understanding of progress will be lost

Each step

will fade and disappear

....... Just like me

-l a -

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #where am i going ?

[shmitty]

-Ash and embers -

My heart and mind are on fire

And I'm suffocating on the smoke of my feelings and thoughts

It's not tears

It's just in my eyes

-❤️ 🧠 🔥 👁️ -

-l.a.-

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #ash and embers

[shmitty]

Bad alchemy

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #bad alchemy

[shmitty]

Matt's mythology

Will anyone truly know my story ?

Will anyone care ?

Wants ,wishes , dreams , hopes , fears

And the weight behind all of them

The unseen crusade or jehad that I face every day

My holy war

Betrayal from my own mind tethered to the void

And when I go

Transfer on and transcend to the new existence

How many know my final request?

To tell them the truth

That I'm not dead just continueing the next novel in my saga

How many will even care ?

How many will even miss me ?

Even if so I've seen it to many times

Time will pass and I'll fade from them

Would noone carry my ghost ?

The way I do for so many I've lost

Will I ever be the hero in anyone's eyes ?

Or

is all this in vaine ?

When this epic journey is over

Will anyone tell my story ?

Is it even worth speech, song ,or written words ?

What does it matter ?

Why try?

Why bother ?

If I can even get through this storm

It'll just return

-

L

.

A

.

-

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #matts mythology

[shmitty]

-someone asked me to tell them about my father-

- someone asked me to tell them about my father-

I can tell you that I can try

He was something that was simple and sweet

Yet in a paradox

Was complexly complicated

He was the warmth of sun that would kiss your face in the midst of a cold winter in the wilderness

Yet was also

Could be the frigid chill that affects you to your core

He was the awe-inspiring silence

Of such a vast expansion

Yet he was also

The magical Melody

Song about the Flora and fauna around you

He was the long spanned bridge between Western and Eastern religion

The heavenly creature to join in Union with an earthly one

That would spin tales

Of the mythological and theological meaning of my origin

To a beautiful tragedy of an abomination that I am

He was the pure connection to nature and mother Earth and the respect held for it

He was the sacred elements within the sanctified rituals

To connect the soul of man to God

The hard surface yet shinning luster of the stone

Yet the free fluid motion of water soft and kind yet with the ability to affect and change the world around it

He was the pure holiest of saints

That never got the recognition he truly deserved

He was the warm feeling you get in your chest

When a contact was performed at a pure selfless Love

Of course he was flawed

But beautifully so

He's one of the main reasons I am who I am today

Aspiring to climb the mountain to become the hero that I'm supposed to be

I'm sorry I'm very sure you were probably expecting me to keep it simple

Yet that is something I rarely ever am

-love addict-

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #i love and miss you dad thank you

[shmitty]

The pursuit of knowledge

In my search for you

I've sank completely deep within

That I find being submerged within myself

That unknowingly I am submerged within you

That each of my thoughts break up and dissolve

S

T

     A

          T

            E

               M

                   E

                      N

                          T

                             S

T

   O

          S

             E

                N

                    T

                       E

                          N

                             C

                                E

                                   S

        

                                         T

                                            O

                                                  W

                                                  O

                                                R

                                              D

                                            S

  

                                  T

                                O

                          L

                    E

              T

       T

          E

                R

                       S

                           To

                        Settle

                  At the bottom

            As silt within myself

A choice

Do I allow myself to sink to become a part of that dark unknown

Or

Swim to your light that breaks the surface of my existence

I laugh and say to myself

"Ha"

" Lost labels and lies

Null noises, knots, and nonsense

Catalog, categorized chaos

Some philosophical phenomenon

That leads to a feastless famine

Of knowledge and understanding "

" I once stood before the raging anger of the masses

All of them screaming in unison"

(" Let it be us that illuminates the darkest of the unknown void with the light of pure truth")

"And it was I that stood

Third eye clinched shut till that

Terrible moment was over "

" Finally Able to ease and relax

Take that much needed breath

And exclaimed at the top of my lungs

With tears streaming down my face "

" You fools oh you fools"

" The cure have become the poison and you all have drank fully"

"Are you quenched?"

"Are you full?"

"Are you satiated?"

" No of course you're not "

" You poor unfortunate fools"

" You have have sparked forth that bright luminous burst of learning and understanding

To see "

" AND IT HAS BLINDED YOU ALL "

" And now that unknown blackness of the void is where you shall remain"

And still

With the choice I remain

  - l.a.-

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #the pursuit of knowledge

[shmitty]

It's my 3 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Thanks for being on this journey with me guys

#3 year tumblrversary #tumblr milestone

[shmitty]

Mother

You deserve every ounce of truth I have to give

But I love you too much to be as cruel

You

- l.a.-

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty

[shmitty]

On my way to work going down hwy 31

There are 3 billboards and all 3 spark though, feelings and emotions

1.The first is a huge advertisement for Alexander shunnara big white ,red and black letters with his head in the corner I don't know what it is the fact of the look of him or that he's a lawyer and they tend to be crooked but his smile makes me uncomfortable and uneasy something about how there's manipulation hidden behind his clenched teeth

Hell he might be the most genuine nice guy in the world

But there's just something about it but it might just be me ............sorry Alabama

2. Secondly is an advertisement for elà mar which I think is like Botox which has a black or dark background with white letters and a gray scale shot of a young woman's face from her nose down to her neck it has been updated to show from her nose to her stomach it feels me with thoughts of attraction, affection, a primal connection between two souls it's been one of the one advertisements to cause me to recall the feelings of a kiss or a caress a light breath on your neck

It has only been that much more since they updated it

3. Third is a advertisement for light plastic surgery

With a smiling girl sitting in what looks like a lobby somewhere but the background is blurred so it's hard to tell the photo was taken around dusk right about the time the sun had gone down it adds beautiful contrast between the golden yellows of the interior lighting and the blacks and blues of the night she seemed to be in some age between late 20s to early 30s

I can't recall the color of the letters but I want to say white

This advertisement

Hits me with compassion,and sympathy a longing ache of pain thinking she's so gorgeous and pretty and wondering what could have been so bad about who she was originally that she felt she couldn't be happy unless she changed it

Who or what hurt her bad enough

To where she no longer felt beautiful

This happens every night one after the other on the way to work

Just thought I'd share

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #3 billboards

[shmitty]

Meditation to medication

I just wish this burden could be lifted

Taken from me if just for a moment

Never meaning to be poisonously pessimistic to this point

Drawn with a aching complete agony for the apathy I have for this experience of existence

Yet I only stick around for the greedy ones of senseless hunger

But it's neither their blood nor their breath

Neither their thoughts nor their emotions

They are not the one having to watch seated behind the screen

I may not chase death anymore

But I promise you this if fate pulls the string

I won't be the one to pull the tourniquet tight

I need a hug

A gentle kiss to my forehead laid back in someone's caring lap

I need to cry and scream

To shed these shaken nerves

To remember to breath

From

Meditation

To

Medication

Fuck

I need something.....

-l.a.-

#original #my words #my writing #-love addict- #poem #poetic #poetry #poets on tumblr #emotinal #shmitty #meditation to medication