shipperwithnomisterssecondblog

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I love how both Bruce and Oliver fall into the “could use guns very well/hates to use guns” category.

They’re both freakishly talented and yet if you asked them to use one they’d look at you like you were asking them to tap dance naked in the middle of the Watchtower.

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oh man whatever u do don’t think about dick grayson, flesh red and blistering and burning hot, staggering through the eviscerated ruins of bludhaven looking for bodies. his suit is shredded, his hands are more bone than skin. everything hurts. he can’t stop and everything hurts.

in the abstract, he knows every moment he spends in the toxic, irradiated crater is another flip of the coin for spawning cancer cells, his heart bursting in his chest. it will take any future children he might have had. it will take his remaining years. but still he cannot stop. he hauls debris aside and keeps digging, further into the pit. deeper into the giant, flaming grave.

he cannot stop. it will never stop. why must the tragedy in his life always begin with a fall?

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You’ve heard of “justice league doesn’t know Batman has kids”

Now prepare for “the Team doesn’t know Batman is Robins dad”

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I hate when people say ohhhh your pets only love you because you feed them. as if that wasn't the first form of love any of us felt. get real.

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hazel: has anyone seen percy and annabeth?

*frank, leo, and piper all at once*

frank: they’re joking around

leo: they’re arguing

piper: they’re making out

everyone (confused): …

frank: um when i saw them like twenty minutes ago, they were joking around together and laughing their butts off outside the senate house

leo: well when i saw them at the forum like ten minutes ago, they were throwing hands and pointing fingers and rolling their eyes at each other, like, viciously arguing over something

piper: ok well when i passed by them literally just five minutes ago, they were very heatedly making out against annabeth’s dorm room door

everyone:

grover: yeah… they tend to be like that

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Jay is not the best babysitter...

I fucking love these fics where all the batkids are all pretty small and they just get up to kid shenanigans while Bruce is sprouting gray hairs.

Commission Info / Kofi

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lots of times if I tell my boyfriend that I am proud of him for dealing with a situation, or that I'm sorry he's having to deal with a situation, he will say "no it's my own fault." meaning that he feels like he doesn't deserve praise or comfort for dealing with a situation that is his fault. (for example a financial problem caused or exacerbated by him having been too anxious or absentminded to deal with the situation sooner.) and I tell him this and I will tell y'all this, that I don't believe that. I think you are even braver and stronger for taking steps to deal with a mess that is of or partly of your own creation, because you have to cope with guilt and shame on top of the thing itself, and because you're fighting against the same ingrained dysfunction in yourself that caused the mess. that's like the bravest and most constructive thing you can do and you should be proud and I am proud of you.

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nothing sexier than that picture with the italian players on top of eachother after the win and the english ones going through the 5 stages of grief in the back

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The batkids taking shit from each other- the intimacy of knowing where the other persons weapons/gadgets/things are

The most commonly “pickpocketed” person is bruce, and he gets so used to it/they get so good at it that sometimes he forgets to take it back or replace it. 

Batman and Red Hood are staking out a new villains headquarters and jason is bored so he reaches over to bruces side and pulls out three lollipops, working through them one at a time. Bruce doesn't even flinch, even as jason's hand digs deep into his side to reach the last one. Then later he has to calm down this little girl, reaches for the pocket, and finds he has no more lollipops to comfort this child with. So he reaches over to Nightwing, who is currently in deep discussion with a police officer, and tugs some sweets out from his shoulder pocket and hands it to the kid. Accidentally, he also takes a replacement grappling hook wire with it, since dick is a mess and has all sorts of shut crammed in every pocket thats not supposed to be there, but he just shrugs and tucks it into his own replacement wire pocket. Then dicks line breaks a few days later and he reaches for his pocket- and its empty. So he does a double backflip off the building, lands on top of a swinging red robin, snatches some replacement wire from his boot pocket, recharges his gun and is gone within a few seconds. Tim continues on like nothing has happened. When he lands on the next roof, Spoiler is waiting for him, and he gives her a quick kiss, reaching to the back of her waist band to grab a small knife and throw it at the goon coming up the stairs. A few days later steph is hanging upside down with cass and reaches for her knife, only to come up empty handed, so she just grabs the one cass has strapped to her thigh and peels her orange with that instead. Cass shrugs, drops from the ceiling on bruces shoulders, pecks his cheek and takes one of his daggers from his chest pocket. Three days later damian yeets his katana at Riddler(it misses but the villain is traumatized) but now the young robin is out of a weapon, so he ducks under cass’s legs and takes the dagger, sending it flying into a nearby goons gut. Bruce is both horrified and proud of his children and instates a weekly meeting to double check that every has all of their things. A very startling amount of gadgets and knicknacks are passed from hand to hand at these meetings, returned to their rightful owner. Bruce, naturally, has the largest pile that he has to put away. The kids all snicker into their hands as he glowers, shoving the weapons and pepper spray and gum pieces(“why did you take them if you weren't even going to chew them!!!”) back into his suit as they all finish up an hour before him and just watch. 

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goodnight

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we as a society need more tim drake and damian wayne brotherly bonding

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Tim: wait, you quit smoking?

Jason: I quit smoking when I became Robin.

Tim: Ok,That Is Not True. I've seen you smoke recently, don't gaslight me!

Dick: You didn't really quit smoking when you were Robin Jay, you used to take my cigs sometimes

Duke: wait,, YOU used to smoke??

Dick: Yeah, back when I was Nightwing

Duke: You're /still/ Nightwing ???

Tim: He means back when he was Discowing

Duke: What's discowing???

Jason: The reason I used to smoke.

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New headcanon: the batsiblings name Bruce's stuff, not him. One day Dick looked at Batman's car and said "this is a batmobile" and Bruce was like "you are absolutely correct. this is indeed a batmobile."

Before Jason, batarangs didn't even have a name. They were just random weapons. Jason names them batarangs and ever since Batman also calls them batarangs.

Babs named his computer batcomputer and ever since it's the batcomputer. It's the official name. Don't you dare question it.

In a similar way, rest of the batfam just randomly name the bats and he just goes with it. Steph calls one specific bat Bruce Jr and now it's official name is Bruce Jr. He always recognizes it and uses the correct names

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It makes me happy when they listen

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While I'm sure bad guys in Gotham have learned over time that the Bats don't kill, that even after bashing your teeth in they'll flag down an ambulance or dump you unceremoniously at the ER, it's still a shaky trust.

One that is easily shaken seeing a child wielding a sword in the dead of night; nobody wants to learn how that is handled nonlethally. Or bad guys just surrendering one late night after running into an alley and Nightwing's standing over their unconscious buddy, holding the gun he wrestled away. They watch Red Hood break into the place they're robbing with a crowbar in hand and just decide they'd rather not chance it. They see a shadow that could be Black Bat and-- you get it.

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Y’all since bets can be made legally binding through contract too, what if Danny deals in wagers. This dude basically died on a dare. I’m picturing eternally 14 Phantom refusing to take deals because of the upkeep. Like you made a deal and own me a favor/your soul/your first born, now that is a pending investment to be monitored until assets can be collected. Danny says ain’t nobody got time for that and instead he deals in these wagers. They range to a multitude of things. If you can guess my living name(3 tries rumplestilskin style), beat me in a duel, catch my child in an earth hour, etc I’ll grant your favor. Since the summoner technically always chooses the place, Danny always chooses the activity(of course he always chooses things he’s confident about winning unless he wants to lose). And the punishment/Danny’s prize for them losing the wager is just whatever random thing he thinks of at the time. One time he takes a jacket off a dude. With cultist he normally has them turn themselves in.

Anyways the entire point of this is that Constantine’s whole schtick is making loopholes in deals or making conflicting contracts but he can’t do that so much with Danny’s straightforward no nonsense approach to his wagers. Just John Constantine being totally unable to deal with Phantom and taking it personally and either becoming obsessed with being able get something out of him or refusing to have anything to do with him when the JL ask him to summon him for whatever reason.

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