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in many ways, we’re not the same, but in some ways, we are

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wock wee!

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TIMELINE

2020 BN. Naruto is dead. Orochimaru is still being monitored by konoha. 

2080 AD. Boruto is dead. Konoha is having a financial crisis in the wake of the industrial revolution. Funding to the police sector conducting the surveillance of orochimaru is slashed by 50%.

2104 AD. Zoruto is elected as the 15th hokage. Konoha doesn’t remember why they are monitoring Orochimaru but they still do it.

3539 AD. The dictator Poruto Benjamin III has been assassinated, ending the 82nd great shinobi world war. Konoha doesn’t really know who or what Orochimaru is any more. Orochimaru is in charge of the Orochimaru Surveillance team under an assumed name. He assures the Konoha intelligence that he has the phenomena known as orochimaru under control. 

3,000,000 AD. The earth is consumed by the sun, wiping out the human race. Orochimaru is no longer on probation. He fucks his way into an alien commune, and introduces their culture to knives. 

3,000,001 AD. The first Great Alien Shinobi War begins. Orochimaru is hailed as a god.

3,000,582 AD. Orochimaru wants more.

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idt ive mentioned this in a while but i think the reason sasukes narrative is so violently misogynistic without the character himself really being so is that kishimoto has the habit of using the abuse and disregard of women as a measurement of a characters inner darkness. when naruto turns into the four tails or whatever and starts burning his skin away that comes with endangering sakuras life and showing that hes losing his humanity with this lack of control. the same narrative pressure is placed on sasuke over and over again where he leaves the village but first you have to see his inner darkness with him knocking sakura out. logically we know that like,,,, she threatened him first and knocking someone out isnt that big of a deal when youre both ninjas. but in story sakura loses that personhood (or ninjahood) and instead just becomes a helpless woman who can only threaten to scream if sasuke leaves. 

we see this same thing played out with the two of them time and time again. sakura attacks him and sasuke retaliates and logically it makes sense but kishimoto consistently reverts sakura back to just a helpless woman in the way he presents it and the tone. we can recognize that sakura is facing dehumanization and misogyny which is why when we all begin analyzing naruto for the first time we stan sakura and hate sasuke.  

karins also a good example of this because she gets this treatment twice with different results. sasuke accidentally sets her on fire and instead of discarding her like suigetsu suggests he quells the flames and saves her life. this contrasts later on when karin is captured by danzo and instead of her being a viable hostage sasuke just stabs her. 

and its like. one of the more misogynistic moments in naruto. karin goes from a ninja to just a damsel in distress who cant break free of a fucking arm hold from a dying man. sasuke throws her life away like trash and logically we know he would do the same exact thing if it was suigetsu being held or kakashi or juugo or whoever. 

but kishimoto would never write a man receiving that treatment. that isnt edgy enough. that doesnt show the extreme darkness overtaking sasukes mind. only  the abuse of women can portray this accurately. 

so it ends up with this fucked up narrative where we as the readers logically can follow that the majority of sasukes actions arent actually abusive or misogynistic, but the intent of the writing is still based on the subjugation of women. 

theres no reason why two ninjas engaged in battle wouldnt hit each other or knock the other out or whatever. but for some reason were not able to see sasuke engage in battle w a woman without kishimoto reverting the girl into a fucking civilian and waxing poetic about the darkness of sasukes heart  

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Night laundry - based on Phlebotomy by @bluefisted

Ok, so I was so thoroughly charmed by this scene where vampire!Obito has to do his chores while also having to deal with his insomniac neighbor who reads smut and notices things. I didn't plan to make all of these panels but I couldn't stop. The whole fic is so so dark and amazing, go read it!

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every villain on narutoverse hates gai so fucking much cuz he beats the shit out of them without even remembering their names and also he has a stupid bowlcut so it makes them feel pathetic but madara loves him cuz he’s into that. he loves emotionally unavailable men. gai beats the crap out of him and immediately forgets abt him and madara is like god, thats the hottest thing anyone’s ever done to me. him and my ex, they are almost the same.

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I don't care much for akatsuki sitcom antics EXCEPT. In relation to Itachi Kisame Deidara and Tobi. Deidara HATES both Uchiha and thinks that Kisame is the only respectable guy here. Kisame doesn't like Deidara because both Uchiha are the only people on this side of the continent he gives half a shit about (his best friend and his weird ward, respectively). Obito is having the time of his life hanging out with literally his only friend, his adorable grumpy cousin that he has to keep an eye on but has enough self preservation not to talk to, and the single most amusing person in the world to fuck with. Itachi listens to Kisame and likes him well enough maybe, but mostly he's just dissociating at all hours UNLESS Tobi opens his fucking mouth and then Itachi uses every ounce of 16 y/o autistic girl swag possible to psychicly induce heart failure. Doesn't even notice Deidara is there most of the time, even though Deidara spends most of his time talking shit about Itachi. This obviously only pisses off Deidara more, making Kisame more annoyed at the blonde and Obito infinitely more amused, rinse and repeat until they spiral into attempted murder over literally nothing. Smashcut to Hidan three rooms away fucking an 80 year old bounty hunter next to the corpse of a ritual sacrifice hearing them yell through the walls and going 'thank Jashin I'm normal'.

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well

#i'm sorry i laughed

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do you ever see a piece of ancient roman art so perfect you feel an immediate need to display it on your wall? anyway. roman mosaic of two funky octopi.

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i love itachi but not in the way dudebros love him "he's sooooo badass he could beat madara actually 🤓☝️" and not in the way kishimoto wants you to love him "he was a hero who sacrificed everything for his military state 💔" but a secret third way "he was a kind and soft child who hated conflict and violence but was born with a gift for killing so he was exploited by his family and his village from a young age until his eldest daughter syndrome drove him insane"

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The eternal question - is it worse to read the words of someone who hates a character you love but is accurate/respectful in their points/portrayal, or someone who loves them more than you do but strips them of all nuance and greyness to legit "they did nothing wrong" when they did SO MUCH WRONG?

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•Naruto•Studio Ghibli•

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Konohagakure Military Forces Organization

It took a while but it’s finally done.

HOKAGE

The highest authority of Konohagakure, the face of the Fire Country’s military forces and has the duty to lead, administer and protect Konoha and to ensure the maximum prosperity of the village.

KONOHA COUNCIL

The Konoha Council, made up of the village’s top officials and people the Hokage trusts. Their duty is to assist the Hokage in governing Konoha and to offer their opinion on decisions that must be made with the greatest benefit to Konoha in mind.

In addition, in case the Hokage is unable to choose his successor, the council is responsible for finding eligible candidates for the position.

Keep reading

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swordsmen chatting :)

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of course that character lives in my brain rent free do i look like a fucking landlord to you?