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shadesofskye · 6 months
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i miss my boy.
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shadesofskye · 1 year
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it’s easier to become a better version of yourself for someone you love than for yourself.
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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tbh for a long time i really resented the advice "pick a partner that you would want to raise kids with" because i don't want kids and i hated that all relationships had to come from this place of procreation-first. what about toxic friendships, after all.
it took me a really long time to realize it's a bastardization of good advice.
many of us are recovering from being raised by parents/caregivers that were in toxic relationships or were toxic themselves. we learned behaviors, thoughts, and patterns from these people, and we spend our adult lives untangling and dismantling the harm done to us.
the advice should be - is this the person you'd want a child to emulate? is this a person you'd want a child even around? is this a person you can trust alone with a kid - any kid, mind you - and know that the child is safe, looked after, loved? is the relationship you're in one you'd want children to see and repeat in their adult lives? or is the relationship one you hope they won't follow, after all?
to be honest, i knew when i was in a bad relationship. i'd tell people - i know, i know, i should break up with him. i know, i know. she's not actually a good friend. but the reality was that it's incredibly difficult to escape the-devil-you-know. it was easy enough to train myself to be okay with it; i have very little regard for the-self and the process of cutting people out was simply too threatening for my mental state.
but i wouldn't put a younger version of myself through the same thing. i'd picture her in the same situation. i would tell her, broody as she is - leave, you're happier outside of it, never let anyone talk to you like that, you're worth more than this. i'd tell her when you let him cross your boundaries, the fault is his, but you need to understand you're rewarding bad behavior if you don't do something about it. i would wish, fervently, i could restart the relationship and do it all differently, be-young-again.
and then i realized: i am the younger version of myself. a future version of myself is begging me to leave. to take my happiness seriously. i am a kid to fifty-year-old-me. and i need to take my own advice. it's okay if that sets me up to grieve.
pick a partner that you would trust a younger version of yourself with. pick friends you'd want your younger self to grow up alongside. pick love that makes you feel like you want everyone to experience in their life and feel with others, something magical and shareable and full of mist. pick a love that feels like you can grow in it. pick a love like: i will be proud of this.
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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i cant think of the fact that humans send messages saying ’where are you? who are you?’ from earth to the giant and empty space all around us for too long because it makes me cry so hard and feel so human and lonely
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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purest love languages that prove humans are the cutest when it comes to love:
exchanging hand written love letters.
remembering little things about each other.
knowing each other's coffee orders.
moving hair out of your s/o's eyes.
saying the same thing's at the same time.
giving flowers to your loved ones.
writing about your s/o in your diary.
hands grazing as you both pick the same book in a library.
running your fingers through your s/o's hair as they slowly fall into a deep slumber with their head in your lap.
forehead kisses. hand kisses. head kisses. lip kisses. cheek kisses. just kisses.
long warm tight hugs, neither one wants to let go first.
laughing at inside jokes till your stomach aches.
singing your favourite songs at the top of your voices.
dancing in the rain.
holding your hand and guiding you through a crowd.
roasting each other's asses off.
ruffling your s/o's hair and they pretend to be mad about it but end up smiling at the end.
staying up late, talking about the weirdest stuff and falling asleep together on call.
feeding your s/o when their hands are occupied.
when they tell you about how proud they are of you.
exchanging clothes because you love the scent of your s/o.
telling your loved one that they're prettier than the moon.
blushing at your s/o's cute comments.
making playlists for each other with songs that remind you of one another.
the way your eyes light up when you hear their name.
original work ♡
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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your future self loves you. they will look through old photos of you with affection, not disgust, nor embarrassment. they wish they could tell you stories of your future, of how much you’ll change, of the people you’ll meet, of how you’ll eventually learn to accept yourself, then love yourself. they will read your diary entries and poems and favourite lyrics, heart aching, tears in their eyes. if only you knew...
your future self loves you. if only they could show you. they are living proof. you’ll turn out okay after all. they wish they were there to console you, dance with you, and make you write it a hundred times: “I AM LOVED”. they will listen to playlists you made, just to experience you again. they will write you a letter - of forgiveness, longing, reassurance. you will never read it. but you will know.
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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and tonight, i shall grieve the idea of us.
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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yes but what do you do when your worst enemy is you? how far do you run from yourself?
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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me: im adorable like im literally the cutest person in every room i walk into
me 4 seconds later: behold the trash lord
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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life is not success. life is not grades or achievements. life is refreshing naps, drinking your favourite drink, movie night, hugging your best friend, laying on grass, funny videos, seeing your plant bloom, the days getting longer, candles, finding a piece of clothing that’s just so you, complimenting people, personal handshakes, that one song, cleansing showers, smelling flowers, cute book or coffee shops, cute prints, finishing a notebook. this is truly what life is. the smallest things.
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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"i would die for you" this, "i'd walk through fire for you that"
what about "i'd live for you" romances? what about "i never thought i'd be worth the work it would take to piece myself together"?
what about "i don't believe i'm worth it, but for you i'll try"
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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We all need someone with whom we can be one hundred percent us. Somebody that quietly understands us. Someone who we can find shelter in their arms when the world is too much. Someone you can speak with in the language of silences. Someone whose heart is ready to accept you in whatever shape or form you come, bloody or pristine, happy or in tears, a place of peace and renewal. For me, that is you, and it fills me with so much gratitude that I have the miracle that you are to be my own unadulterated self with in the sweet acceptance of your embrace.
e.v.e.
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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i don’t pay attention to the world ending.
it has ended for me
many times
and began again in the morning.
- Nayyirah Waheed, Salt
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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“i don’t think you’d look pretty in that”
well i don’t think i look pretty now so joke’s on you bitch
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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small things can be healing.
a warm, sunny day with a light blue sky / stargazing while laying in the cool grass / the look of natural beauty you only get with blooming flowers / a comfort meal you make for yourself / newly cleaned sheets / socks still warm from the dryer / the smell of your favorite person on your clothes / a cool shower after a hot, busy summer day / the immersion into a story when you start a book you can’t put down / contagious laughter that just keeps getting fueled by itself / the first scene of your favorite movie starting
even little details mean so much. they can mend a person bit by bit.
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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and if you ever lie there, broken;
i will not piece you back together.
i will pick up the pieces and hand them to you,
for you to fix yourself.
and i would let my love be the glue.
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shadesofskye · 3 years
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goodbyes are easier than hellos;
because the idea of pain is familiar, welcoming;
that of happiness is not.
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